1 00:00:04,133 --> 00:00:05,917 Attention, squad. 2 00:00:05,961 --> 00:00:07,310 Put your hands together 3 00:00:07,354 --> 00:00:10,226 for the long-anticipated reunion of... 4 00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:13,142 The DDC! 5 00:00:13,186 --> 00:00:14,143 - DD... - C! 6 00:00:14,187 --> 00:00:15,144 - DD... - C! 7 00:00:15,188 --> 00:00:16,145 Put a J with a G... 8 00:00:16,189 --> 00:00:17,190 You get DD... 9 00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:19,148 C! 10 00:00:19,192 --> 00:00:20,323 Uh, the gas face. 11 00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:21,498 What the hell is the DDC? 12 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:22,847 I don't know, but I love it! 13 00:00:22,891 --> 00:00:24,197 The DDC is the Dope... 14 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,328 - Denim... - Crew. 15 00:00:25,372 --> 00:00:26,677 Our 20-year high school reunion 16 00:00:26,721 --> 00:00:28,636 is tonight, and the party is '90s-themed, 17 00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:30,353 so we're dressing the way we did back then, 18 00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:32,379 AKA hella fresh. 19 00:00:32,422 --> 00:00:34,468 Can't wait to see everyone we graduated with 20 00:00:34,511 --> 00:00:36,339 and lie to them about what I've been up to 21 00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:37,862 for my own amusement. 22 00:00:37,906 --> 00:00:41,039 It's gonna be Fib City, population: Gina Clooney. 23 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,278 But Jake, how can you be excited 24 00:00:42,302 --> 00:00:43,868 to return to your high school, 25 00:00:43,912 --> 00:00:45,522 the scene of... Tattlegate? 26 00:00:45,566 --> 00:00:46,934 What's Tattlegate? Why haven't I heard 27 00:00:46,958 --> 00:00:49,004 - anything about it? - It was junior year 28 00:00:49,047 --> 00:00:50,571 and Jake was riding high... 29 00:00:50,614 --> 00:00:53,356 Charles, no one wants to hear this story... 30 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,357 from you. 31 00:00:54,401 --> 00:00:55,358 It was junior year, 32 00:00:55,402 --> 00:00:57,360 and Jake was riding high. 33 00:00:57,404 --> 00:00:59,449 Sophomore year was rough, but now I was back 34 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:02,060 with a hot new look: an earring and long hair. 35 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,734 Which was my look, and he just copied it. 36 00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:05,716 And it worked! I was finally cool, 37 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,346 and becoming friends with the most popular kid 38 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:09,459 in school: Brandon Bliss. 39 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,331 - Dope name; sounds hot. - He was hot, Rosa. 40 00:01:11,374 --> 00:01:13,202 For the record, he could barely read. 41 00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:14,725 He didn't have to read, Gina. 42 00:01:14,769 --> 00:01:16,399 He lost his virginity when he was 12 years old. 43 00:01:16,423 --> 00:01:17,989 Which is horrifying. 44 00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,252 But it wasn't back then! 45 00:01:19,295 --> 00:01:21,515 Back then, it was... everything. 46 00:01:21,558 --> 00:01:23,386 He asked me to ditch class one day with him 47 00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:24,755 and his buddies, steal a school van, 48 00:01:24,779 --> 00:01:26,346 and go get drunk at his parents' cabin, 49 00:01:26,389 --> 00:01:27,932 but the day before we were supposed to go, 50 00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:30,524 someone ratted Brandon out, and he got suspended! 51 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:32,090 He thought I was the one who told, 52 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,440 and from that day forward, 53 00:01:33,483 --> 00:01:35,616 everyone called me "The Tattler." 54 00:01:35,659 --> 00:01:37,313 Tattler. It's a sexy nickname. 55 00:01:37,357 --> 00:01:38,575 It was not a sexy nickname! 56 00:01:38,619 --> 00:01:40,098 It was a scarlet letter, 57 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,231 and it ruined my senior year, 58 00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:44,929 but luckily, I'm over all that now. 59 00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:45,930 Not me. I'm gonna go 60 00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:47,236 to this reunion tonight 61 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,779 and kick Brandon Bliss in the butthole. 62 00:01:48,803 --> 00:01:50,694 Horrifying, but that won't be necessary, Charles, 63 00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:52,478 for my awesome life will do the butthole-kicking this eve. 64 00:01:52,502 --> 00:01:54,591 I've got a sweet job, and a super-smart, 65 00:01:54,635 --> 00:01:56,352 incredible wife. Tonight's gonna be awesome. 66 00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:57,527 - Right, Gina? - Damn straight! 67 00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:58,987 - DD... - C! 68 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:00,075 - DD... - C! 69 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:01,118 - DD... - C! 70 00:02:18,864 --> 00:02:21,309 CREDITS 71 00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:24,012 Wow, this place hasn't changed 72 00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:25,709 one bit in 20 years. 73 00:02:25,753 --> 00:02:27,972 It's a real indictment of the public school system. 74 00:02:28,016 --> 00:02:29,452 Jake! Tina! 75 00:02:29,496 --> 00:02:31,585 No way! Mikey J! 76 00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:33,108 Amy, this is Mike Joseph, 77 00:02:33,151 --> 00:02:36,720 AKA the lead funk bassist from my legendary ska band, 78 00:02:36,764 --> 00:02:39,941 Skalvester Skallone. We had one song. 79 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,206 ? Stop or my mom will ska ? 80 00:02:44,249 --> 00:02:46,077 ? Stop or my mom will ska 81 00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:47,775 - Whoa! - Hey, man. 82 00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:49,254 We were so bad. I can't believe 83 00:02:49,298 --> 00:02:50,493 we thought we were gonna make it. 84 00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:52,214 So what have you been up to, man? 85 00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:54,477 Well, I'm still trying to get the music thing started. 86 00:02:54,521 --> 00:02:56,044 Oh, cool, cool, cool. Never give up. 87 00:02:56,087 --> 00:02:58,481 Anyway, how are you, Gina? What have you been up to? 88 00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:00,353 Nothing crazy. Yeah, just writing 89 00:03:00,396 --> 00:03:02,267 - those "Thor" movies. - Seriously? 90 00:03:02,311 --> 00:03:04,008 Oh, my God. Tell me everything. 91 00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:06,359 Legally, I can't get into it too much, 92 00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:07,640 but just know that the next one 93 00:03:07,664 --> 00:03:09,144 will have a lot more full frontal. 94 00:03:09,187 --> 00:03:12,016 Well, if you need some ska for your soundtrack... 95 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:13,278 Oh! 96 00:03:13,322 --> 00:03:14,386 This is them. This is Marvel. 97 00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:15,846 They probably want to talk 98 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:18,588 about "Thor 4: More Thor." I gotta take this. 99 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,676 - Okay? - All right. 100 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,330 So how you doing, Jake? 101 00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:24,159 I know the end of high school was a little... rough. 102 00:03:24,202 --> 00:03:25,769 Oh, uh... 103 00:03:25,813 --> 00:03:28,206 Jake's killing it now. He's a detective. 104 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,992 Irie, mon! Irie, irie! 105 00:03:31,035 --> 00:03:32,167 Very nice. 106 00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,299 God, you must have some crazy stories. 107 00:03:34,343 --> 00:03:35,475 Oh, I don't know. I mean, 108 00:03:35,518 --> 00:03:36,606 is successfully negotiating 109 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,086 a high-tension hostage situation 110 00:03:38,129 --> 00:03:39,696 in a bank crazy? 111 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:40,741 Yes! 112 00:03:40,784 --> 00:03:42,153 Oh, well, then, I guess I do have 113 00:03:42,177 --> 00:03:43,874 some crazy stories, mon! 114 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,486 Gosh, it's so cool 115 00:03:46,529 --> 00:03:48,009 how we all still dress the same. 116 00:03:49,924 --> 00:03:51,728 Is it so much to ask? You know what I'm saying? 117 00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:53,425 Why is everyone gathered around the radio? 118 00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:54,668 Ooh, are they testing 119 00:03:54,711 --> 00:03:55,669 the emergency broadcasting system? 120 00:03:55,712 --> 00:03:57,192 What? No. 121 00:03:57,235 --> 00:03:58,585 We're listening to a contest. 122 00:03:58,628 --> 00:04:00,413 This is 93.7, 123 00:04:00,456 --> 00:04:01,805 The Jamhouse, with... 124 00:04:01,849 --> 00:04:03,720 JC and the Horndog! 125 00:04:04,765 --> 00:04:06,114 FM radio... 126 00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:08,246 Yeah, the hosts are beyond disgusting, 127 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,945 but they do a fun game where they play a mystery sound 128 00:04:10,988 --> 00:04:12,816 and callers guess what it is for a cash prize. 129 00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,688 Shh, they're about to play the new sound! 130 00:04:17,473 --> 00:04:18,779 It's a crinkle. I solved it. 131 00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:20,104 Yes, but you have to know what object 132 00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:21,477 is making the crinkle. 133 00:04:21,521 --> 00:04:22,628 But that's impossible. It could be anything. 134 00:04:22,652 --> 00:04:23,914 Yes, sir. That's the game. 135 00:04:23,958 --> 00:04:25,133 It's a bag of potato chips. 136 00:04:25,176 --> 00:04:26,221 Don't be an idiot! 137 00:04:26,264 --> 00:04:27,570 It's a bag of corn chips. 138 00:04:27,614 --> 00:04:28,939 Well, this is a total waste of time. 139 00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:30,747 Sure, but you can still have fun, 140 00:04:30,791 --> 00:04:32,551 - even if you're wasting time. - That's absurd. 141 00:04:32,575 --> 00:04:34,490 Productivity is what makes things fun. 142 00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:37,101 That's why humans go to work. 143 00:04:37,145 --> 00:04:38,363 It is? 144 00:04:38,407 --> 00:04:39,843 Hey. So you know 145 00:04:39,887 --> 00:04:41,342 how Alicia and I broke up because she moved to London, 146 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:42,759 then we tried to make it work, 147 00:04:42,803 --> 00:04:44,128 but the distance was too much and we broke up again? 148 00:04:44,152 --> 00:04:45,632 No. The last thing you told me 149 00:04:45,675 --> 00:04:46,913 about yourself was that you were bi. 150 00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:48,306 Well, a lot has happened since then. 151 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,438 Anyway, I'm dating two other people. 152 00:04:49,462 --> 00:04:50,569 So much juice at one time. 153 00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:51,681 I'm drowning. 154 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:52,682 Oh, gross. Charles, this is why 155 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:53,770 I don't tell you anything. 156 00:04:53,814 --> 00:04:55,293 - I take it back. - Okay. 157 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,619 Well, it's early stages, but they both tagged me 158 00:04:56,643 --> 00:04:57,818 in a bunch of photos online, 159 00:04:57,861 --> 00:04:59,230 and they found out about each other. 160 00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:00,647 - Yikes. - Yeah, I know. 161 00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:02,320 I shouldn't 'gram so much, but my brunch friends say 162 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,713 it's the only way to promote my handmade jewelry line. 163 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:04,955 Brunch? What? 164 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:06,609 - Homemade... who... - Charles, focus. 165 00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:07,871 Anyway, they're both annoyed, 166 00:05:07,915 --> 00:05:09,370 and now I have to choose one of them, 167 00:05:09,394 --> 00:05:10,787 and I cannot make up my mind. 168 00:05:10,831 --> 00:05:12,267 It's insane. I never have trouble 169 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:13,790 making decisions. 170 00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,531 Ugh. Choose the daughter. 171 00:05:15,575 --> 00:05:17,098 I always know exactly what to do, 172 00:05:17,141 --> 00:05:19,056 but for the first time in my life, I am stumped. 173 00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,058 Rosa, you've come to the right man. 174 00:05:21,102 --> 00:05:22,930 Boyles are genetically indecisive beings. 175 00:05:22,973 --> 00:05:24,777 So I chose the worst possible person to help me? 176 00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:26,237 No. We've developed 177 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:27,978 a foolproof system to help us make choices. 178 00:05:28,022 --> 00:05:29,826 It used to take me so long to decide what to wear 179 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,547 that I'd never change my clothes. 180 00:05:31,591 --> 00:05:33,157 Now look what I have on. 181 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:35,353 Is this different than what you were wearing yesterday? 182 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,552 Barely. 183 00:05:36,596 --> 00:05:38,641 Wow, your life sounds amazing. 184 00:05:38,685 --> 00:05:40,251 I'm really happy it worked out for you, 185 00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:42,515 you know, especially with the whole Tattler thing. 186 00:05:42,558 --> 00:05:44,952 What? The Tattler? Wow. 187 00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:46,562 I haven't heard that in a long time. 188 00:05:46,606 --> 00:05:47,911 Who even was the Tattler? 189 00:05:47,955 --> 00:05:49,367 You. That's why I'm bringing it up. 190 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,653 Oh, right, I remember now 191 00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:51,978 that I was misidentified as the Tattler. 192 00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:53,545 That's so funny. But I wasn't the Tattler, 193 00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:54,851 so I'm pretty sure you got this wrong. 194 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,572 No, no, no, I think I go... hey, Eric. 195 00:05:56,616 --> 00:05:58,966 Didn't people call Jake the Tattler? 196 00:05:59,009 --> 00:06:00,010 Oh, yeah! 197 00:06:01,359 --> 00:06:03,187 Oh, good, more people are getting involved. 198 00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:05,712 After my initial design, they said it couldn't be done. 199 00:06:05,755 --> 00:06:07,540 They said it was too tall, too flashy... 200 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,237 Building codes, bureaucracy. 201 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,370 Cut to the Freedom Tower as you see it today. 202 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,546 Wow. 203 00:06:13,589 --> 00:06:15,591 Thank you. Yeah, I agree. 204 00:06:15,635 --> 00:06:16,916 Look, nobody cares about that stuff. 205 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:18,376 We're all adults now. 206 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,422 You're a cop. I work at a coffin factory. 207 00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,685 I'm not sitting around, thinking about how you tattled. 208 00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:24,441 Yes, we all have jobs and work on coffins. 209 00:06:24,466 --> 00:06:25,863 I didn't tattle, but whatevs. 210 00:06:25,888 --> 00:06:28,941 - We don't have to keep talking about it. - Great. 211 00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:30,693 But you were the Tattler, right? 212 00:06:30,737 --> 00:06:31,999 Brandon Bliss was my friend! 213 00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:33,609 Why would I tattle on my friend? 214 00:06:33,653 --> 00:06:35,611 The nickname was inaccurate, is all I'm saying. 215 00:06:35,655 --> 00:06:36,873 Anyways, as you can tell, 216 00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:38,527 I am totally over it. 217 00:06:38,571 --> 00:06:40,398 Ah, man, it's the Tattler. 218 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,442 I didn't tattle! 219 00:06:42,575 --> 00:06:43,750 So... 220 00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,752 I think I might not be over it. 221 00:06:48,537 --> 00:06:50,147 Ugh, this is so unfair. 222 00:06:50,191 --> 00:06:51,472 Everyone remembers me as the Tattler, 223 00:06:51,496 --> 00:06:52,976 but somehow, no one remembers 224 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:54,456 that Darren "Doo Doo" Donaldson 225 00:06:54,499 --> 00:06:55,936 crapped himself during PE. 226 00:06:55,979 --> 00:06:57,067 Look at him out there, 227 00:06:57,111 --> 00:06:58,416 dancing on the dance floor 228 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,157 like he's lived a doo doo-free life. 229 00:07:00,201 --> 00:07:01,681 Jake, this isn't so bad. 230 00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:03,726 History is full of great tattlers. 231 00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:05,989 Martin Luther King tattled on racists. 232 00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:07,184 That's a pretty undercutting way 233 00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:08,489 of describing his accomplishments. 234 00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:10,167 I was trying to help. It felt bad. 235 00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:11,580 It's not even the nickname that bothers me. 236 00:07:11,604 --> 00:07:12,885 It's that I'm being wrongfully accused. 237 00:07:12,909 --> 00:07:14,669 I didn't tattle. I mean, if it was the truth, 238 00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:16,565 go ahead and call me the Tattler all day long. 239 00:07:16,609 --> 00:07:19,307 - Hey, Tattler. - Not cool, Jason! 240 00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:20,787 Let's just go home. 241 00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:22,353 No! We're not going anywhere. 242 00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:24,529 You were wrongfully accused. We're cops. 243 00:07:24,573 --> 00:07:26,357 Let's just find the real Tattler 244 00:07:26,401 --> 00:07:27,663 and prove your innocence. 245 00:07:27,707 --> 00:07:28,664 Yes! I love it! 246 00:07:28,708 --> 00:07:29,534 Why learn to grow 247 00:07:29,578 --> 00:07:31,188 when you can fix the past? 248 00:07:31,232 --> 00:07:32,973 This is exactly why I don't need therapy. 249 00:07:33,016 --> 00:07:34,278 Not sure that's the lesson 250 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:35,386 I want you to take away from this. 251 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,840 Too late! We're gonna prove I wasn't the Tattler. 252 00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:38,847 Therapy is a scam. Let's do this. 253 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:40,850 No. 254 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,678 The sound was more of a "khh." 255 00:07:42,722 --> 00:07:44,201 Ooh, how goes the crinkle hunt? 256 00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:46,073 I see you're not just wasting time. 257 00:07:46,116 --> 00:07:48,075 You're also wasting tin. 258 00:07:48,118 --> 00:07:50,338 It was only one piece. 259 00:07:50,381 --> 00:07:53,210 Okay, it was a ton of tin. 260 00:07:53,254 --> 00:07:54,579 Pretty sure it's a guy eating a sandwich. 261 00:07:54,603 --> 00:07:55,952 I'll prove it to you. 262 00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:57,756 I'm not buying you any more sandwiches, Scully. 263 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,563 I'm doing this for us! 264 00:07:58,607 --> 00:08:00,261 Guys, we can't fight. 265 00:08:00,304 --> 00:08:01,828 That's what the Horndog wants. 266 00:08:01,871 --> 00:08:03,196 We're getting close. We just need 267 00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:04,395 to keep testing more things. 268 00:08:04,439 --> 00:08:06,354 Oh, that's a good idea. 269 00:08:06,397 --> 00:08:09,792 Have you tried a piece of paper? 270 00:08:09,836 --> 00:08:10,793 Is that your crinkle? 271 00:08:10,837 --> 00:08:12,534 Ooh, maybe... oh. 272 00:08:12,577 --> 00:08:15,363 Maybe it's these bags of coffee beans. 273 00:08:15,406 --> 00:08:17,365 All right, sir. I think you've made your point. 274 00:08:17,408 --> 00:08:19,106 My point? Oh, I'm just trying to have fun 275 00:08:19,149 --> 00:08:20,585 by wasting time. 276 00:08:20,629 --> 00:08:23,371 Oh, maybe it's this crinkly-crunkly yogurt. 277 00:08:26,026 --> 00:08:27,288 Terry heard a crinkle. 278 00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:28,768 Holt heard a crinkle, too. 279 00:08:28,811 --> 00:08:30,595 So suddenly, it's not a waste of time? 280 00:08:30,639 --> 00:08:33,163 Not a waste of time if we win! 281 00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:34,817 What are you waiting for, Jeffords? 282 00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:36,558 Call the Horndog! 283 00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:38,168 So then I said to Steve, 284 00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:40,257 "What if we drop the '-lications, ' 285 00:08:40,301 --> 00:08:41,868 just call them 'apps'?" 286 00:08:41,911 --> 00:08:43,739 That's incredible. 287 00:08:43,783 --> 00:08:45,698 - Do you miss him? - Oh, every day, Laura. 288 00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:47,090 - Every day. - You should talk 289 00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,613 to Quentin Chase. He's a big-time 290 00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:49,876 Silicon Valley investor now, 291 00:08:49,919 --> 00:08:51,157 and he was just telling me all about it. 292 00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:52,269 Quentin, come here. 293 00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:53,706 You have got to talk to Gina. 294 00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:55,490 She basically invented apps. 295 00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,231 They were going to be called "lications." 296 00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:58,449 You really bungled that. 297 00:08:58,493 --> 00:08:59,668 What you been working on? 298 00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:01,409 Currently, I have been working 299 00:09:01,452 --> 00:09:03,759 on an app called Toddler. 300 00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:06,066 It's like Tinder, but for toddlers. 301 00:09:06,109 --> 00:09:07,415 Tinder for toddlers. 302 00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:09,088 I like it. How are you gonna spell that? 303 00:09:09,112 --> 00:09:10,244 How many D's? 304 00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:12,246 Five. 305 00:09:12,289 --> 00:09:14,639 All right, we should start by talking to Brandon Bliss 306 00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,598 and find out who told him you were the Tattler. 307 00:09:16,641 --> 00:09:18,078 Unfortunately, Bliss is not here. 308 00:09:18,121 --> 00:09:20,689 Probably in the VIP section at a Fatboy Slim concert. 309 00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,604 Would that be cool for a 37-year-old? 310 00:09:22,647 --> 00:09:24,277 The funk soul brother is timeless, Ames. 311 00:09:24,301 --> 00:09:26,434 All right, I don't know who told Brandon, 312 00:09:26,477 --> 00:09:27,977 but I heard it was someone on the football team. 313 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,892 Okay, well, we need more information than that, 314 00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:31,831 so take me back to the day. Spare no details. 315 00:09:31,874 --> 00:09:33,136 Okay, I saw Brandon 316 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,074 after second period, and everything seemed tight. 317 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:36,832 _ 318 00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:40,598 But then, when I saw him after third period... 319 00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:42,595 - something had clearly changed. - _ 320 00:09:46,193 --> 00:09:47,760 After that, there was 321 00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:49,433 little color left in the world for young Jake. 322 00:09:49,457 --> 00:09:53,069 My earring, less gold, my JNCO jeans less purple. 323 00:09:53,113 --> 00:09:54,941 Are you sure you were becoming cool? 324 00:09:54,984 --> 00:09:55,985 Yeah. Why? 325 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,256 I know how to solve this. 326 00:09:57,281 --> 00:09:58,747 We just have to find out which football player 327 00:09:58,771 --> 00:10:00,211 had third period with Brandon Bliss. 328 00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:01,512 We need his class schedule. 329 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:02,838 Yeah, but where are we gonna find that? 330 00:10:02,862 --> 00:10:04,646 In the coolest room in the school. 331 00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:06,249 _ 332 00:10:07,214 --> 00:10:08,650 Good lord! 333 00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:10,086 You coulda just picked the lock. 334 00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:11,305 I know. I'm sorry. 335 00:10:11,348 --> 00:10:13,176 I'm just so amped up about Admin. 336 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:16,310 Okay, this is the Boyle decision-making manual. 337 00:10:16,353 --> 00:10:17,790 One of these sections will help you 338 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,269 with choosing your partner. 339 00:10:19,313 --> 00:10:20,507 Here we go. What do you prefer, 340 00:10:20,531 --> 00:10:22,098 eyes or butt, brains or body? 341 00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:23,491 - Brains. - Uh... 342 00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:24,685 Sorry, no, that's for deciding lunch. 343 00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:25,885 - Horrifying. - Oh, I found 344 00:10:25,928 --> 00:10:26,973 the romance section. 345 00:10:27,016 --> 00:10:28,757 Now, first, I will need the names 346 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,672 of the two people you're choosing between. 347 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,475 I will not be telling you any information about them. 348 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,869 No problem. We can work with that. 349 00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,677 I will just call them by their initials. 350 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,842 - No. - I will call them 351 00:10:36,867 --> 00:10:38,029 - "Couscous" and "Quinoa." - Whatever. 352 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,498 Okay, now, for this to work right, you need 353 00:10:39,523 --> 00:10:41,115 to answer these questions without thinking. 354 00:10:41,552 --> 00:10:42,788 - Who makes you laugh more? - Quinoa. 355 00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:43,959 - Who has softer lips? - Couscous. 356 00:10:43,984 --> 00:10:45,287 A new Cirque du Soleil's in town. 357 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,514 You have the two best seats in the house. 358 00:10:46,539 --> 00:10:47,756 - Who are you bringing? - Is this a reward 359 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:48,842 - or a punishment? - You decide. 360 00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:49,932 - Quinoa. - Great. Next question: 361 00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:51,006 You die and become a ghost. 362 00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:53,436 The rules of the afterlife are that of the movie "Casper." 363 00:10:53,461 --> 00:10:54,577 Whose house would you rather haunt? 364 00:10:54,602 --> 00:10:55,927 How many more of these questions are there? 365 00:10:55,952 --> 00:10:57,214 309. 366 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,606 - Okay, I've got something. - Oh. 367 00:10:59,645 --> 00:11:01,285 That's not Brandon's profile. It's mine. 368 00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,869 I just want a quick peek at your attendance record. 369 00:11:03,073 --> 00:11:04,496 Zero absences. 370 00:11:04,535 --> 00:11:06,381 Oh, mama... 371 00:11:06,424 --> 00:11:07,556 Printing this for later. 372 00:11:07,599 --> 00:11:09,387 Keep it in your pants, Santiago. 373 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,442 Oh, that's exactly where it's going. 374 00:11:12,778 --> 00:11:14,737 Okay, here's Brandon's info. 375 00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,217 Third period, first semester... 376 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,914 Any of these people on the football team? 377 00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:20,482 Scott Alford, Taylor Black... Wow, Tom Brady? 378 00:11:20,525 --> 00:11:22,310 Different Tom Brady. He was in theater. 379 00:11:22,353 --> 00:11:23,659 Although he was the MVP 380 00:11:23,702 --> 00:11:24,810 of that year's production of "Fiddler." 381 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,279 - Hm. - Wait a minute. 382 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,445 Danny Matthews. That's the guy. 383 00:11:27,489 --> 00:11:28,751 He was on the football team. 384 00:11:28,794 --> 00:11:30,033 That's the bastard who set me up. 385 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,015 Yeah, and look at this. 386 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,235 You did so much community service. 387 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,932 Me like-y. 388 00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:40,707 Guys, you know how I thought it would be so much fun 389 00:11:40,732 --> 00:11:41,769 to lie to everyone tonight? 390 00:11:41,794 --> 00:11:43,246 Yeah. Did it finally catch up with you? 391 00:11:43,271 --> 00:11:44,561 No, the opposite. Someone wants to buy 392 00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:45,891 a company I made up on the spot. 393 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:47,730 The elevator pitch had him drooling. 394 00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:49,511 As a mother, I'm always struggling 395 00:11:49,554 --> 00:11:50,991 to find quality playdates. 396 00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:53,863 Most two-year-olds are boring, lame duds. 397 00:11:53,907 --> 00:11:55,691 All of my daughter's friends suck. 398 00:11:55,734 --> 00:11:58,259 Well, with Todddddler's proprietary algorithm, 399 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,914 you will be matched with top tots, 400 00:12:00,957 --> 00:12:02,089 and those boring duds... 401 00:12:02,132 --> 00:12:03,525 They'll stay where they belong: 402 00:12:03,568 --> 00:12:07,181 the hell away from you and your family. 403 00:12:07,224 --> 00:12:09,357 I'm not really sure how to close this. 404 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,359 Maybe you guys could pretend to be heirs 405 00:12:11,402 --> 00:12:14,928 to a canned-goods fortune who want to buy my company! 406 00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:16,601 Gina, we don't have time for your thing right now. 407 00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:18,409 Oh, smart. Big-time him. 408 00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:19,802 That's the perfect idea. 409 00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:21,165 I won't forget you when I'm rich. 410 00:12:21,195 --> 00:12:22,848 Thanks so much, Jake and Jake's wife. 411 00:12:22,892 --> 00:12:24,241 She knows your name. Oh, look! 412 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,827 It's Danny Matthews! But he'll never talk 413 00:12:25,851 --> 00:12:27,157 with all these people around. 414 00:12:27,201 --> 00:12:28,787 Not a problem. Just be in the science lab 415 00:12:28,811 --> 00:12:30,421 in ten minutes. I'll get him alone. 416 00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:31,553 What are you gonna do? 417 00:12:31,596 --> 00:12:32,660 Let's just say I'm not above 418 00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:34,121 using my feminine wiles. 419 00:12:34,164 --> 00:12:35,731 Danny Matthews, I'm with the school. 420 00:12:35,774 --> 00:12:37,054 You need to follow me right now. 421 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,692 - Is everything... - I said now, mister. 422 00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:41,998 I'm one caller away. 423 00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:43,323 I can't believe we figured it out. 424 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:45,349 And I can't believe it took you this long. 425 00:12:45,393 --> 00:12:47,438 Yogurt is literally your one thing. 426 00:12:47,482 --> 00:12:49,310 - Okay, okay. - Well, I'm just saying. 427 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,225 If the sound were eating damp rice, 428 00:12:51,268 --> 00:12:52,966 I would've gotten it immediately. 429 00:12:53,009 --> 00:12:54,378 Guys, they're taking another guess. 430 00:12:54,402 --> 00:12:56,056 All right, Brenda from Yonkers. 431 00:12:56,099 --> 00:12:57,971 It's time for you to name that sound. 432 00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,407 Hi. Quick shout-out 433 00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:01,235 to the nurses at United Pediatric. 434 00:13:01,278 --> 00:13:02,864 This money'll do those kids a lot of good. 435 00:13:02,888 --> 00:13:04,368 Cry me a river. Brenda from Yonkers. 436 00:13:04,412 --> 00:13:06,675 We've all had budget cuts. Just take your guess. 437 00:13:06,718 --> 00:13:07,981 Is it Styrofoam? 438 00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:09,547 Wrong! 439 00:13:09,591 --> 00:13:11,810 Oh, I can't believe she guessed Styrofoam. 440 00:13:11,854 --> 00:13:13,595 What a dumb nurse. 441 00:13:13,638 --> 00:13:15,466 Next caller, you're on with the Horndog. 442 00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:16,467 It's me! 443 00:13:16,511 --> 00:13:18,730 The sound is a yogurt 444 00:13:18,774 --> 00:13:20,036 being opened. 445 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,083 That is... 446 00:13:23,126 --> 00:13:24,388 Wrong! 447 00:13:24,432 --> 00:13:25,607 What? No! 448 00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,609 You b-b-b-blew it! 449 00:13:27,652 --> 00:13:29,828 Damn you, Horndog. 450 00:13:29,872 --> 00:13:31,458 Okay, I have tabulated your responses, 451 00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:33,267 and the results are definitive. 452 00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:35,399 - Amazing. - It's a dead tie. 453 00:13:35,443 --> 00:13:36,883 This is dumb. I'm just gonna end it 454 00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,030 - with both of them. - Rosa, stop. 455 00:13:38,054 --> 00:13:39,142 There is one more method. 456 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,101 Ancient Boyles believed 457 00:13:41,144 --> 00:13:43,842 that suspending yourself by your feet forces your blood 458 00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:45,583 to the decision center of your brain. 459 00:13:45,627 --> 00:13:49,631 We call this method the "Upside-Down Coward." 460 00:13:49,674 --> 00:13:51,304 You want me to hang from the ceiling like a bat? 461 00:13:51,328 --> 00:13:53,156 The bat is nature's most decisive animal. 462 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,829 The creature that flails around frantically? 463 00:13:54,853 --> 00:13:56,048 Those are all micro-decisions. 464 00:13:56,072 --> 00:13:57,508 Now, let's get you strapped up. 465 00:13:58,553 --> 00:13:59,684 How do you feel? 466 00:13:59,728 --> 00:14:00,816 Nauseous. 467 00:14:00,859 --> 00:14:02,861 Good. It's working. 468 00:14:02,905 --> 00:14:04,080 - Q? - Yeah. 469 00:14:04,124 --> 00:14:05,081 Get off the phone. 470 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,213 Now, I'm not sure 471 00:14:06,256 --> 00:14:07,656 how serious you were about funding, 472 00:14:07,692 --> 00:14:11,261 but I should tell you there's 103 other bidders. 473 00:14:11,305 --> 00:14:13,350 Oof, I am not a fan of getting into bidding wars. 474 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,005 Then don't make an offer, 'cause I want babies on my app, 475 00:14:16,049 --> 00:14:17,833 but not in my boardroom. 476 00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:19,052 Oh, damn, Gina. 477 00:14:19,095 --> 00:14:20,705 Did you just "oh, damn" yourself? 478 00:14:20,749 --> 00:14:21,793 Someone had to. 479 00:14:21,837 --> 00:14:23,882 Okay. 480 00:14:23,926 --> 00:14:25,406 Let's talk numbers. 481 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,297 Mr. Peralta, I believe you know Danny Matthews. 482 00:14:27,321 --> 00:14:29,062 Jake. Hey, what's going on, man? 483 00:14:29,105 --> 00:14:30,280 The answer to that question 484 00:14:30,324 --> 00:14:33,240 goes back to a brisk day in 1997, 485 00:14:33,283 --> 00:14:35,677 a day you told a lie. 486 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,810 But the lying stops right now! 487 00:14:38,854 --> 00:14:40,377 Oh, no! 488 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,075 You broke some poor kid's science project! 489 00:14:42,118 --> 00:14:43,380 We have to fix it. 490 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,749 Kind of in the middle of something. 491 00:14:44,773 --> 00:14:45,967 Oh, you know what? Krebs cycle. 492 00:14:45,991 --> 00:14:46,949 I got this. 493 00:14:46,992 --> 00:14:48,777 Great. So, Danny, 494 00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:49,908 true or false? 495 00:14:49,952 --> 00:14:51,214 You were on the football team. 496 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,955 - True? - And true or false: 497 00:14:52,998 --> 00:14:55,044 you had third period with Brandon Bliss. 498 00:14:55,088 --> 00:14:56,413 Mm, I honestly don't remember... 499 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,805 It was true! We checked the records, 500 00:14:57,829 --> 00:14:59,266 and I have one more question. 501 00:14:59,309 --> 00:15:01,113 Ooh, Jake, can you get me that oxygen on the floor? 502 00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:02,530 - Little red guy. - What? 503 00:15:02,573 --> 00:15:03,531 Sorry. You know what? 504 00:15:03,574 --> 00:15:04,967 Yeah, I'll get it. 505 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:06,205 Why did you tell Brandon Bliss 506 00:15:06,229 --> 00:15:07,665 that I was the Tattler? 507 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,295 Because you were. I saw you talking to principal. 508 00:15:09,319 --> 00:15:10,538 I remember it, clear as day. 509 00:15:10,581 --> 00:15:12,105 Look, you couldn't have seen me, 510 00:15:12,148 --> 00:15:13,691 because I wasn't there. I didn't tattle. 511 00:15:13,715 --> 00:15:15,412 Man, it was you, okay? 512 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,458 You had your long hair and your little earring, 513 00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:21,026 and the denim jacket you are literally wearing right now. 514 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,767 Oh, no. 515 00:15:22,811 --> 00:15:24,856 It wasn't me, 516 00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:26,945 but it was the DDC. 517 00:15:26,989 --> 00:15:28,382 Gina. 518 00:15:28,425 --> 00:15:30,993 Jake, guess who just sold her app idea. 519 00:15:31,036 --> 00:15:32,168 Don't trust her. 520 00:15:32,212 --> 00:15:33,648 Everything she's told you is a lie. 521 00:15:33,691 --> 00:15:35,191 She made up the company and everything else. 522 00:15:35,215 --> 00:15:36,390 She's a liar. 523 00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:38,000 Jake, whatever strategy this is 524 00:15:38,043 --> 00:15:39,828 is not necessary. I already closed the deal. 525 00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:42,613 I know you were the Tattler. 526 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,691 Amy, I'm ready to go. 527 00:15:47,716 --> 00:15:48,933 Yep, totally. 528 00:15:49,229 --> 00:15:50,554 I'm almost done with this project, 529 00:15:50,578 --> 00:15:52,014 but I don't need to finish it, 530 00:15:52,057 --> 00:15:53,189 because what matters 531 00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:55,191 is that you are going through something, 532 00:15:55,235 --> 00:15:57,976 and as your wife, and love of your life... 533 00:15:58,020 --> 00:15:59,674 Are you vamping so you can finish that? 534 00:15:59,717 --> 00:16:01,066 I only have two molecules left. 535 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,286 - Come on, man. - Jake, we need to talk. 536 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,983 Yeah, you guys do need to talk. 537 00:16:05,027 --> 00:16:07,769 That sounds excellent. Friendship, so much history... 538 00:16:07,812 --> 00:16:09,510 I'm just gonna get this out of your way. 539 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,468 Oh, man. 540 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,817 What the hell, Gina? 541 00:16:12,861 --> 00:16:14,819 You ruined my entire senior year. 542 00:16:14,863 --> 00:16:16,169 How could you do that to me? 543 00:16:16,212 --> 00:16:17,605 Jake, I was only trying to help. 544 00:16:17,648 --> 00:16:19,172 You were hanging out with those guys 545 00:16:19,215 --> 00:16:21,062 and getting close, and they weren't good people. 546 00:16:21,086 --> 00:16:23,021 Do you know why Brandon wasn't at the reunion tonight? 547 00:16:23,045 --> 00:16:24,457 I don't know. Probably 'cause he was shooting 548 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:25,763 a beer commercial where the whole plot 549 00:16:25,787 --> 00:16:27,199 was that everyone wanted to sleep with him. 550 00:16:27,223 --> 00:16:28,746 No, 'cause he's on parole. 551 00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:30,835 He's not allowed to leave the state of Delaware. 552 00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:32,663 Oh, okay, so that's obviously a bummer, 553 00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:34,187 but I wasn't gonna end up like him. 554 00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:35,338 You were starting to. You wanted 555 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,624 to steal a van with him, 556 00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:37,886 and I told you not to, 557 00:16:37,929 --> 00:16:39,409 and you weren't listening to me. 558 00:16:39,453 --> 00:16:41,039 I mean, what would've happened if you got caught? 559 00:16:41,063 --> 00:16:42,195 I don't know. 560 00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:43,761 You would never have become a cop. 561 00:16:43,805 --> 00:16:45,763 Yeah, I'm the reason you're a cop. 562 00:16:45,807 --> 00:16:47,374 I'm your origin story, dude. 563 00:16:47,417 --> 00:16:48,984 You can't be mad at me. 564 00:16:49,027 --> 00:16:50,551 I feel like I'm still pretty mad. 565 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,379 Peter Parker wasn't mad at his spider. 566 00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:54,357 Yeah, but they weren't best friends before the bite, 567 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,272 and it still doesn't explain how you let everyone think 568 00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:58,123 I was the Tattler for 20 years. 569 00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,125 Well, I didn't want to lose our friendship. 570 00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:01,431 I was being weak. 571 00:17:01,475 --> 00:17:03,694 I'm sorry. 572 00:17:03,738 --> 00:17:05,522 Okay. 573 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,021 And if it makes you feel any better, 574 00:17:07,045 --> 00:17:09,265 that app thing completely blew up in my face. 575 00:17:09,309 --> 00:17:11,224 I mean, my night sucked. 576 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,008 Okay, I can see from your expression 577 00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:14,662 that your night was worse, 578 00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:17,317 and I should've left it at "sorry." 579 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,709 So did you hear? 580 00:17:18,753 --> 00:17:19,797 Someone guessed the sound. 581 00:17:19,841 --> 00:17:21,234 It was a bag of chips. 582 00:17:21,277 --> 00:17:22,539 Wow. So the lesson here 583 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,213 is to listen to Hitchcock and Scully more? 584 00:17:24,237 --> 00:17:25,562 - No, that can't be possible. - Yeah, I don't think 585 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,109 - we earned that today. - Agreed. 586 00:17:27,152 --> 00:17:28,912 Sorry for dragging you into that dumb game. 587 00:17:28,937 --> 00:17:31,113 You were right. It was a waste of time. 588 00:17:31,156 --> 00:17:32,549 No, it wasn't. 589 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,223 Even though it was pointless, I did enjoy myself. 590 00:17:34,247 --> 00:17:36,336 I can't wait to go home and tell Kevin 591 00:17:36,379 --> 00:17:39,252 you can have fun without being productive. 592 00:17:39,295 --> 00:17:42,298 Hey, guys, they're about to play the new mystery sound. 593 00:17:42,342 --> 00:17:43,604 I can tell Kevin tomorrow. 594 00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:44,929 I'll bet Sharon's already asleep. 595 00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:46,607 And I've got no one in my life. 596 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,131 Scully, play that damn noise. 597 00:17:49,174 --> 00:17:51,264 Quentin, can I talk to you for a minute? 598 00:17:51,307 --> 00:17:53,004 Are you here to give me a long speech 599 00:17:53,048 --> 00:17:54,571 about how you still deserve my money? 600 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,616 No. 601 00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:56,834 I am. 602 00:17:56,878 --> 00:17:58,271 Very cool entrance. 603 00:17:58,314 --> 00:17:59,620 Thank you. Listen. 604 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,551 Gina Linetti is not a perfect person. 605 00:18:01,578 --> 00:18:03,024 Mm, I'm hoping this gets more supportive 606 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,015 as it goes along. 607 00:18:04,059 --> 00:18:05,428 But what she lacks in perfection, 608 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,572 she makes up for 609 00:18:06,597 --> 00:18:08,750 with an utter and total belief that she is perfect. 610 00:18:08,775 --> 00:18:10,041 Ooh, you said "but," and then you said 611 00:18:10,065 --> 00:18:11,849 - something worse. - She is fiercely loyal. 612 00:18:11,893 --> 00:18:14,417 She will do the right thing for you 613 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,767 even when you can't see it for yourself, 614 00:18:16,811 --> 00:18:19,683 and she's saved my ass countless times. 615 00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:20,952 And it's been 12. I counted. 616 00:18:20,989 --> 00:18:22,445 She came up with an idea on the spot 617 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,905 that you were interested in. 618 00:18:23,948 --> 00:18:26,299 Imagine what she could do with time and resources. 619 00:18:26,342 --> 00:18:28,213 Do the world a favor. 620 00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:30,520 Invest in Gina Linetti. 621 00:18:34,401 --> 00:18:35,619 Hard pass. 622 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,484 - What? - But my great speech. 623 00:18:37,527 --> 00:18:38,789 Yeah, the speech was great, 624 00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:41,488 but I've also been lying the whole night. 625 00:18:41,531 --> 00:18:42,924 I'm not a tech mogul. 626 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,273 I came here to mess with people. 627 00:18:44,317 --> 00:18:46,144 - How dare you? - Speaking of which, 628 00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:48,666 did either one of you drive? 'Cause I could use a ride. 629 00:18:48,731 --> 00:18:50,951 - No, Quentin. - Oh, Quentin. 630 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:52,890 Okay. 631 00:18:52,934 --> 00:18:54,196 Now open your eyes, 632 00:18:54,239 --> 00:18:56,459 and the person you are meant to be with 633 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,636 should appear before you. 634 00:19:01,029 --> 00:19:02,683 Sorry. I was just watching. 635 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,033 Get out of here, Hitchcock! 636 00:19:05,076 --> 00:19:05,816 Ugh. 637 00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:07,035 This isn't working. 638 00:19:07,078 --> 00:19:08,478 I'm no closer to making a decision. 639 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:09,777 I'm jumping down. 640 00:19:09,820 --> 00:19:11,344 Well, you can't just jump down. 641 00:19:11,866 --> 00:19:13,781 - My goodness! - It's over. 642 00:19:13,824 --> 00:19:14,975 I'm gonna put 'em both in a group text 643 00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,107 - and say "peace out." - Uh, no! 644 00:19:16,131 --> 00:19:17,393 There's still more options. 645 00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:18,797 We haven't even done roleplay yet. 646 00:19:18,829 --> 00:19:20,353 What? 647 00:19:20,396 --> 00:19:21,528 Ugh. 648 00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:22,679 I took too long getting back to Quinoa 649 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:23,921 and they got mad and ended it. 650 00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:25,488 And that's how it's done. 651 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,379 - What are you talking about? - The process worked. 652 00:19:27,403 --> 00:19:28,839 Boyles don't make decisions. 653 00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:30,188 We delay our decisions 654 00:19:30,232 --> 00:19:31,886 until the universe makes them for us. 655 00:19:31,929 --> 00:19:34,062 That way, we never make a wrong choice. 656 00:19:34,105 --> 00:19:36,238 That is very sad, but also, I guess it worked. 657 00:19:36,281 --> 00:19:37,631 - Mm-hmm. - I do feel pretty good. 658 00:19:37,674 --> 00:19:39,197 Couscous is dope. She's funny. 659 00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:40,808 Couscous is a she! I knew it! 660 00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:42,809 - Did you? - No, and I still don't know. 661 00:19:42,853 --> 00:19:45,116 There's equal chance you called them "she" to throw me off. 662 00:19:45,141 --> 00:19:46,524 You get me, Boyle. 663 00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:51,253 So I think I figured out an awesome and dramatic way 664 00:19:51,296 --> 00:19:53,603 to reveal that I was the Tattler. 665 00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:55,388 It'll be a dance. There'll be costumes. 666 00:19:55,431 --> 00:19:57,868 Gina, it's fine. I don't care anymore. 667 00:19:57,912 --> 00:19:59,870 - It's all in the past. - Oh, thank God. 668 00:19:59,914 --> 00:20:01,394 That is such a relief, 669 00:20:01,437 --> 00:20:03,657 'cause I didn't want people thinking I was a tattler. 670 00:20:03,715 --> 00:20:05,587 Where's Amy? 671 00:20:05,615 --> 00:20:06,853 She is in the library, writing 672 00:20:06,877 --> 00:20:08,183 a book report on "Jane Eyre," 673 00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:10,707 and she told me "not to wait up." 674 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,882 - Oy. - Yeah. 675 00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:14,929 Thanks for trying to help with Quentin. 676 00:20:14,972 --> 00:20:16,472 It's funny. Even though it wasn't real, 677 00:20:16,496 --> 00:20:19,499 it was so fun, imagining running my own company. 678 00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:20,761 So why don't your pursue it? 679 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,893 I can't raise my kid and create an app 680 00:20:22,937 --> 00:20:24,523 and work at the Nine-Nine. It's too much. 681 00:20:24,547 --> 00:20:26,723 Well, then prepare for me to murder your parents 682 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:27,831 right in front of your face. 683 00:20:27,855 --> 00:20:29,030 - Rude. - No. 684 00:20:29,073 --> 00:20:30,597 It's Batman's origin story, 685 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,531 like the radioactive spider thing you did with me. 686 00:20:32,555 --> 00:20:34,078 I don't read comic books. 687 00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:36,820 You helped me become who I am, 688 00:20:36,864 --> 00:20:38,518 so now I'm gonna return the favor. 689 00:20:40,476 --> 00:20:42,217 Gina... 690 00:20:42,260 --> 00:20:44,195 I think your talents might be wasted at the Nine-Nine. 691 00:20:44,219 --> 00:20:46,917 I love you, but it might be time for you to move on. 692 00:20:46,961 --> 00:20:48,571 Um, are you firing me? 693 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,572 What? No. I don't think 694 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,573 I could even do that. 695 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,879 Good, because I quit. 696 00:20:51,922 --> 00:20:53,358 You know, tonight I realized 697 00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:54,751 that my talents 698 00:20:54,896 --> 00:20:56,466 are being wasted at the Nine-Nine. 699 00:20:56,491 --> 00:20:58,460 Okay, that's kind of exactly what I just said. 700 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,968 Jake, let me finish. This is serious. 701 00:21:01,497 --> 00:21:03,499 It's time for me to move on. 702 00:21:03,543 --> 00:21:05,501 For real, though, it is. 703 00:21:05,545 --> 00:21:06,545 Really? 704 00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:12,508 Okay. 705 00:21:12,552 --> 00:21:14,162 Proud of you. 706 00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:15,337 Thank you. 707 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:16,599 I'm proud of me, too. 708 00:21:18,296 --> 00:21:19,428 Guys! 709 00:21:19,472 --> 00:21:20,753 Vice principal caught me in the library. 710 00:21:20,777 --> 00:21:22,605 Let's roll! 711 00:21:22,903 --> 00:21:28,842 CREDITS