1 00:00:01,031 --> 00:00:02,397 Hey, what are you doing tonight? 2 00:00:02,399 --> 00:00:04,299 It's a weeknight, so nothing. 3 00:00:04,301 --> 00:00:06,568 Cool. Well, my college buddy Todd is in town, 4 00:00:06,570 --> 00:00:08,570 and you should come hang out with us. 5 00:00:08,572 --> 00:00:09,804 You don't understand. 6 00:00:09,806 --> 00:00:11,372 Nothing is what I'm doing. 7 00:00:11,374 --> 00:00:12,807 I literally have "nothing" in my calendar 8 00:00:12,809 --> 00:00:14,308 every night this week, and it's the only thing 9 00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:15,777 getting me through the day. 10 00:00:15,779 --> 00:00:18,212 Now drive me home to my cat daughter. 11 00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:24,318 Jake, I'm going to tell you something, 12 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,654 and I don't want you to freak out. 13 00:00:26,656 --> 00:00:28,089 I'm driving us to the bar. 14 00:00:28,091 --> 00:00:29,123 Matt, no. 15 00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:30,457 It's for your own good. 16 00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:32,226 You need to have more fun with your life. 17 00:00:32,228 --> 00:00:33,828 Nothing you can say will stop me. 18 00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:35,529 Also, earlier I stole your phone, 19 00:00:35,531 --> 00:00:36,731 and I hid it, and I'm not giving it 20 00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,299 back to you until the end of the night. 21 00:00:38,301 --> 00:00:40,001 Matt, we agreed to carpool, 22 00:00:40,003 --> 00:00:41,268 which is a sacred contract 23 00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:43,237 upheld by the American legal system. 24 00:00:43,239 --> 00:00:44,572 We're almost at my street. 25 00:00:44,574 --> 00:00:46,207 If you don't turn right, this is kidnapping, 26 00:00:46,209 --> 00:00:47,541 and you're going to jail. 27 00:00:47,543 --> 00:00:50,043 ? We don't know, we don't care ? 28 00:00:50,045 --> 00:00:53,414 Okay. You want to play games? I'll play games. 29 00:00:53,416 --> 00:00:55,449 You've vastly overestimated my will to live. 30 00:00:55,451 --> 00:00:57,718 I'll grab that wheel and kill us both... easy. 31 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,320 The cops are gonna find our cold, dead bodies 32 00:00:59,322 --> 00:01:00,754 in a ditch somewhere, Matt. 33 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,223 Think about how sad your parents will be. 34 00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:03,524 Matt, turn right! 35 00:01:03,526 --> 00:01:05,392 Matt, turn right right now! 36 00:01:05,394 --> 00:01:07,328 Matt, turn right, turn right! 37 00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:10,831 Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt! 38 00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:15,068 Goddamn it, you used to fear me more. 39 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 40 00:01:35,624 --> 00:01:37,557 This is so Todd, to be late. 41 00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:39,392 I've ended lifelong friendships over people 42 00:01:39,394 --> 00:01:40,794 being five minutes late... 43 00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:43,230 people I love, blood relatives I've abandoned 44 00:01:43,232 --> 00:01:44,597 and never spoken to again. 45 00:01:44,599 --> 00:01:46,133 40 minutes late without a text. 46 00:01:46,135 --> 00:01:47,300 Kill this person. 47 00:01:47,302 --> 00:01:49,469 Dude, you are going to love Todd. 48 00:01:49,471 --> 00:01:52,138 We used to do so much crazy shit together in college. 49 00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:55,408 We'd get drunk and throw things out our dorm window... 50 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:58,010 water balloons, textbooks, 51 00:01:58,012 --> 00:01:59,345 stuff we really needed. 52 00:01:59,347 --> 00:02:00,880 One time Todd got drunk and almost threw 53 00:02:00,882 --> 00:02:03,015 a cat out the window, but I was like, "Todd, don't," 54 00:02:03,017 --> 00:02:06,118 but he almost did and it was so funny. 55 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,053 Boy, we really needed all that stuff, though. 56 00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:09,855 You should never meet people from your friend's past. 57 00:02:09,857 --> 00:02:12,358 They're like a time capsule of bad personality traits. 58 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,826 Jake, you need to lighten up. 59 00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:15,227 When you get to the end of your life, 60 00:02:15,229 --> 00:02:16,429 you're gonna look back 61 00:02:16,431 --> 00:02:18,264 and wish that you had more fun. 62 00:02:18,266 --> 00:02:19,365 At the end of my life, I'll be dead. 63 00:02:20,535 --> 00:02:22,368 Look. They're having a good time. 64 00:02:22,370 --> 00:02:23,636 They're young and dumb, 65 00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:25,171 so they still think this is what fun is. 66 00:02:25,173 --> 00:02:27,539 They have no idea they're actually having a terrible time. 67 00:02:27,541 --> 00:02:28,640 It's honestly tragic. 68 00:02:28,642 --> 00:02:30,041 Now give me back my phone. 69 00:02:30,043 --> 00:02:31,777 It's not on me, and you'll never find it. 70 00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:35,447 Fatty Matty, my good dude! 71 00:02:35,449 --> 00:02:37,148 Tee-Oh-Double-Dee! 72 00:02:38,452 --> 00:02:40,185 How the hell are you, man? 73 00:02:40,187 --> 00:02:43,388 Dude, crazy night so far. 74 00:02:43,390 --> 00:02:44,690 - Who's the suit? - Okay. 75 00:02:44,692 --> 00:02:46,758 Who is this Hertz Rent a Car associate? 76 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,340 What is it, 77 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,462 "Take your boss to the bar night" or something? 78 00:02:50,464 --> 00:02:51,563 Yeah, I am his boss. 79 00:02:51,565 --> 00:02:52,897 And you just got him fired. 80 00:02:52,899 --> 00:02:53,965 Ooh! 81 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:54,999 All right. 82 00:02:55,001 --> 00:02:57,669 Jake, this is Todd. Todd, Jake. 83 00:02:57,671 --> 00:03:00,972 You're both my dudes, and now you're each other's dudes. 84 00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:02,307 Oh! 85 00:03:02,309 --> 00:03:05,910 Pleased to meet you, Mr. Handshake Sir. 86 00:03:05,912 --> 00:03:08,913 I hope your finances are business. 87 00:03:08,915 --> 00:03:10,715 I'm only playing with you, dude. 88 00:03:10,717 --> 00:03:12,516 Any friend of the fat one is a brother of mine. 89 00:03:12,518 --> 00:03:15,820 All right. I'm gonna go get us some shots. 90 00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:17,555 Uh, Matt, you cool if I put it on your tab? 91 00:03:17,557 --> 00:03:19,590 I stopped using credit cards 'cause of banks. 92 00:03:19,592 --> 00:03:21,059 Yeah, yeah, no problem. 93 00:03:21,061 --> 00:03:22,827 Cool. 94 00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:26,130 Guys, let's drink to this moment right now. 95 00:03:26,132 --> 00:03:27,465 The past... fuck that. 96 00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:30,168 The future, mm, okay, maybe. 97 00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:31,970 But right now? 98 00:03:31,972 --> 00:03:33,071 Yes, please. 99 00:03:33,073 --> 00:03:35,005 - Amen. - Cheers. 100 00:03:38,911 --> 00:03:40,310 Ouch! 101 00:03:40,312 --> 00:03:41,711 Aw, man, super wet table. 102 00:03:41,713 --> 00:03:44,214 Dude. So, bro, how's it been going, man? 103 00:03:44,216 --> 00:03:45,249 It's been forever. 104 00:03:45,251 --> 00:03:50,020 Dudes, I have been traveling. 105 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,555 Went to Paris... Did so much Molly. 106 00:03:52,557 --> 00:03:54,691 Cut to me on a fjord in Norway 107 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,894 stoned out of my mind... I don't know much, 108 00:03:56,896 --> 00:03:58,695 but I do know that I'm on molly. 109 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,830 Spent Friendsgiving in Zermatt 110 00:04:00,832 --> 00:04:03,733 with Beck microdosing on an alpine slide... 111 00:04:03,735 --> 00:04:06,169 I go to Guadalajara... I did everything but 112 00:04:06,171 --> 00:04:08,505 with an heiress to the guacamole fortune. 113 00:04:08,507 --> 00:04:10,373 You haven't experienced the 'mids... 114 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,641 And when I say "the 'mids," I mean the pyramids... 115 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:14,476 until you've seen them on Adderall. 116 00:04:14,478 --> 00:04:16,645 If you mix peyote and mimosas, 117 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:19,648 it gives you sonar... like a bat or a dolphin. 118 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:24,320 Then I did ayahuasca in SoCal and vommed on my sham. 119 00:04:25,523 --> 00:04:27,156 She was pissed, but we're cool. 120 00:04:27,158 --> 00:04:29,792 By the way, Fatty, if you are ever looking for a shaman, 121 00:04:29,794 --> 00:04:31,060 I could totally hook you up. 122 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,461 Oh, yeah, I'd love to get her info. 123 00:04:32,463 --> 00:04:34,196 What are you up to, fat one? 124 00:04:34,198 --> 00:04:36,598 Last time I saw you, you were housing a whole pizza 125 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,034 and now you're working some corporate gig? 126 00:04:38,036 --> 00:04:41,370 Yeah. It sucks, but it's actually pretty cool. 127 00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:43,939 Uh, my bosses are super chill, and they let me do whatever. 128 00:04:43,941 --> 00:04:45,473 Also, if I stay there long enough, 129 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:46,808 I'll rise up in the company, 130 00:04:46,810 --> 00:04:48,209 be able to take it down from the inside. 131 00:04:48,211 --> 00:04:49,411 Yeah, Matt's right on the verge 132 00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:50,778 of becoming a domestic terrorist. 133 00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:52,948 By the way, Todd, how do you make money? 134 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,816 I'm actually king of in between gigs right now. 135 00:04:54,818 --> 00:04:57,319 My last boss fired me because he totally had it out for me 136 00:04:57,321 --> 00:04:59,620 because his wife was, like, in love with me, which... 137 00:04:59,622 --> 00:05:00,855 not my fault, you know? 138 00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:02,490 She was hot, though. We fucked. 139 00:05:02,492 --> 00:05:04,492 I mean, we didn't, but we did. You know what I'm talking about. 140 00:05:04,494 --> 00:05:06,194 - Yeah. - Hey! 141 00:05:06,196 --> 00:05:08,930 How's your night going? 142 00:05:08,932 --> 00:05:11,099 Oh, my God. 143 00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:15,503 There are a bunch of goddesses roaming around here tonight. 144 00:05:15,505 --> 00:05:16,871 Ah! 145 00:05:16,873 --> 00:05:18,639 You should go talk to her. 146 00:05:18,641 --> 00:05:19,674 I'm a coyote. 147 00:05:22,111 --> 00:05:24,144 I hate him so much. You're just jealous 148 00:05:24,146 --> 00:05:25,746 'cause he's still having fun with his life. 149 00:05:25,748 --> 00:05:27,081 You could learn a lot from Todd. 150 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:28,549 Todd is a drifter and a drug dealer. 151 00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:29,750 No, he's not. 152 00:05:29,752 --> 00:05:31,586 He's dealing someone drugs right now. 153 00:05:33,422 --> 00:05:34,589 Okay, narc. 154 00:05:34,591 --> 00:05:36,223 Your entire personality has reverted 155 00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:37,225 back to being in college. 156 00:05:37,226 --> 00:05:38,493 How is that a bad thing? 157 00:05:38,495 --> 00:05:40,495 College are the best years of your life. 158 00:05:40,497 --> 00:05:42,029 - Smoke? - Hell yeah. 159 00:05:42,031 --> 00:05:43,598 Jesus, Matt. 160 00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:46,934 We should collaborate on something. 161 00:05:46,936 --> 00:05:48,469 Dude, I would love to collab. 162 00:05:48,471 --> 00:05:49,471 What are you thinking? 163 00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:51,506 Mm, art? Maybe an app? 164 00:05:51,508 --> 00:05:53,740 Oh, dude... art app! 165 00:05:53,742 --> 00:05:56,443 Oh! Dude, I've always wanted to start my own record label. 166 00:05:56,445 --> 00:05:57,445 Oh, yeah? 167 00:05:57,446 --> 00:06:00,547 Dude. Check it out. 168 00:06:00,549 --> 00:06:03,150 Parking ticket. 169 00:06:03,152 --> 00:06:05,185 - Do you remember what we used to do? - Yeah. 170 00:06:05,187 --> 00:06:07,087 Do you remember what we used to fucking do? 171 00:06:07,089 --> 00:06:09,723 Mr. Handshake Man, check this shit out. 172 00:06:09,725 --> 00:06:11,758 The old switcheroo. 173 00:06:14,163 --> 00:06:15,629 Fuck the system! 174 00:06:15,631 --> 00:06:16,696 Fuck the system! 175 00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:19,933 I'll bet his dad is a district attorney. 176 00:06:19,935 --> 00:06:21,268 Whoa. How'd you know that? 177 00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:22,836 My name is Todd! 178 00:06:22,838 --> 00:06:26,073 Todd! You maniac. 179 00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:20,125 Oh, dude. 180 00:07:20,127 --> 00:07:21,793 I'm in town for one more night tomorrow night 181 00:07:21,795 --> 00:07:24,196 to see this really sick band, Honeyscratch. 182 00:07:24,198 --> 00:07:26,164 I'm sort of like really good friends of the band. 183 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:28,700 I could totally get you in for free if you pay me for the ticket. 184 00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:30,835 Cool. Yeah, I would love to. 185 00:07:30,837 --> 00:07:32,837 Mr. Handshake Man, you in? 186 00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:34,672 No, you're never gonna see me again. 187 00:07:36,477 --> 00:07:38,042 I love this guy! Hilarious. 188 00:07:38,044 --> 00:07:39,376 All right. I'll see you tomorrow night, 189 00:07:39,378 --> 00:07:40,678 Fat Matthew, okay? 190 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,647 Peace money. 191 00:07:44,718 --> 00:07:46,884 I might be too drunk to drive. 192 00:07:46,886 --> 00:07:48,853 Really? That's crazy, because you've only been drinking 193 00:07:48,855 --> 00:07:50,655 for four straight hours. 194 00:08:27,069 --> 00:08:29,636 - What? - I said, "There's no way 195 00:08:29,638 --> 00:08:31,505 you're going to that concert tonight." 196 00:08:31,507 --> 00:08:32,739 I'm definitely going. 197 00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:34,040 I just need to drink plenty of fluids, 198 00:08:34,042 --> 00:08:36,343 caffeinate, and wait out this headache. 199 00:08:36,345 --> 00:08:38,811 I used to do this all the time when I was hungover in college. 200 00:08:38,813 --> 00:08:40,379 Those days are long gone. 201 00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:44,049 Once you turn 30, hangovers last an average of 83 hours. 202 00:08:49,924 --> 00:08:51,924 Dude, what is this shit? 203 00:08:51,926 --> 00:08:53,526 It's Honeyscratch, 204 00:08:53,528 --> 00:08:55,227 the band you're seeing tonight. 205 00:08:55,229 --> 00:08:57,797 But I can turn it off if you don't like it. 206 00:08:57,799 --> 00:08:59,231 Oh. No, no, no, no. 207 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:00,432 I... I'm starting to get into it. 208 00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:02,768 Yeah. Yeah. 209 00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:04,904 Okay. 210 00:09:04,906 --> 00:09:07,106 It's definitely cool... 211 00:09:07,108 --> 00:09:08,941 sonically rich. 212 00:09:08,943 --> 00:09:11,010 Now I get what Pitchfork was saying 213 00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:12,677 when they said that about the... 214 00:09:14,848 --> 00:09:16,982 Oh. Here's the hook. 215 00:09:18,852 --> 00:09:20,151 Wait a minute, hold on. 216 00:09:20,153 --> 00:09:21,486 Is that the hook? No, no, no. 217 00:09:21,488 --> 00:09:22,754 H... hold on. 218 00:09:22,756 --> 00:09:24,623 Here we go. Here's the hook. 219 00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:26,691 You can just admit it sucks. 220 00:09:26,693 --> 00:09:28,359 I would admit it sucked if it sucked, 221 00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:29,694 but it doesn't. 222 00:09:29,696 --> 00:09:31,997 They're probably just better live anyway. 223 00:09:31,999 --> 00:09:34,165 Yeah. 224 00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,800 I love live music. 225 00:09:35,802 --> 00:09:37,702 I'm gonna start going to more shows... 226 00:09:37,704 --> 00:09:40,071 one concert a month. 227 00:09:40,073 --> 00:09:41,372 No. 228 00:09:41,374 --> 00:09:43,775 One concert a week, 229 00:09:43,777 --> 00:09:45,043 maybe even... 230 00:09:46,979 --> 00:09:48,946 That sounds tight, dude. 231 00:09:48,948 --> 00:09:51,715 Hey, Grace, have you heard of Honeyscratch? 232 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,918 Is that an STI? If so, yes. 233 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,520 No, no, no. They're this really good noise rock band 234 00:09:56,522 --> 00:09:57,555 that I'm gonna see tonight. 235 00:09:57,557 --> 00:09:58,856 Matt got wasted last night 236 00:09:58,858 --> 00:10:00,524 and thinks he's still going out tonight. 237 00:10:02,094 --> 00:10:04,461 Oh, Matt, you naive little bitch. 238 00:10:04,463 --> 00:10:06,630 Concerts being fun is one of the greatest lies 239 00:10:06,632 --> 00:10:08,265 perpetuated by American media. 240 00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,499 You guys are nuts. 241 00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:10,901 We're still young. 242 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,736 We should be out doing things. 243 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,039 Tell that to the moths in my underwear. 244 00:10:15,041 --> 00:10:17,307 All right, what are your big plans tonight 245 00:10:17,309 --> 00:10:20,109 if you're not gonna go out and enjoy your life. 246 00:10:20,111 --> 00:10:21,978 I'm doing what I do every night... 247 00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:23,512 cocooning myself in fleece, 248 00:10:23,514 --> 00:10:24,714 eating a cookie, 249 00:10:24,716 --> 00:10:26,049 and reading historical fiction. 250 00:10:26,051 --> 00:10:27,550 I'm gonna masturbate. 251 00:10:27,552 --> 00:10:28,685 Oh, yeah, me, too. 252 00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,720 You both sound depressed. 253 00:10:30,722 --> 00:10:32,088 Yeah, we're adults. 254 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,723 Living life to the fullest is a con. 255 00:10:33,725 --> 00:10:35,892 It's like having a second job you waste all of the money 256 00:10:35,894 --> 00:10:37,093 from your first job on. 257 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,628 Do you remember the joy you first felt 258 00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:42,999 the moment you decided to stop living life to the fullest? 259 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:45,735 Best moment of my life. 260 00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:49,638 October 17, 2010. 261 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:53,309 I was at some art opening, surrounded by liberal fascists. 262 00:10:53,311 --> 00:10:56,645 I had no clue what the performance art piece meant. 263 00:10:56,647 --> 00:10:59,315 All I knew was that it sucked. 264 00:10:59,317 --> 00:11:02,151 And then it hit me... 265 00:11:02,153 --> 00:11:06,517 I could just give up, go home, be free. 266 00:11:08,759 --> 00:11:10,159 And I never looked back. 267 00:11:10,161 --> 00:11:11,727 Mm. 268 00:11:11,729 --> 00:11:15,197 August 13, 2014. 269 00:11:15,199 --> 00:11:18,066 I was dancing in a field at a music festival, 270 00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,801 surrounded by women dressed in various forms 271 00:11:20,803 --> 00:11:23,238 of cultural appropriation. 272 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,340 I had eaten too much of a weed brownie, 273 00:11:25,342 --> 00:11:28,576 and a drunk guy started grinding on me. 274 00:11:28,578 --> 00:11:31,279 Then it hit me... 275 00:11:31,281 --> 00:11:37,118 I would much rather be at home... alone. 276 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,588 Life-changing. 277 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:41,689 You guys are lame. 278 00:11:41,691 --> 00:11:42,990 Lame but wise. 279 00:11:42,992 --> 00:11:44,325 Matt, just embrace giving up. 280 00:11:44,327 --> 00:11:46,161 You have no idea how good it feels. 281 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,696 No. I am not like you guys, okay? 282 00:11:48,698 --> 00:11:51,098 I am young and full of life! 283 00:11:58,674 --> 00:11:59,706 No. 284 00:12:05,548 --> 00:12:07,247 No! 285 00:12:10,952 --> 00:12:12,986 Oh, hey, Matt. What are you doing tonight? 286 00:12:12,988 --> 00:12:15,155 Uh, I'm going to see this band Honeyscratch. 287 00:12:15,157 --> 00:12:17,191 Dude! Me, too! 288 00:12:17,193 --> 00:12:19,226 - I love them. - Oh, really? 289 00:12:19,228 --> 00:12:21,127 You know, my buddy Todd's actually really tight 290 00:12:21,129 --> 00:12:23,297 with the band so we're sort of getting VIP treatment. 291 00:12:23,299 --> 00:12:26,099 Hell yeah. I'm not gonna be there till later in the night 292 00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:27,601 because after work, I have Cardio Barre, 293 00:12:27,603 --> 00:12:29,736 then a sample sale, three art gallery openings, 294 00:12:29,738 --> 00:12:31,204 dinner at this brand-new pop-up... 295 00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:33,073 ... a sort-of-friend's half-birthday party, 296 00:12:33,075 --> 00:12:35,341 gonna catch up with a real friend at a new speakeasy, 297 00:12:35,343 --> 00:12:37,210 then Honeyscratch. 298 00:12:37,212 --> 00:12:40,113 Whoa. How do you have the energy to do all that? 299 00:12:40,115 --> 00:12:41,647 I'm 24. 300 00:12:41,649 --> 00:12:43,783 You got to let me know when you do stuff after work, 301 00:12:43,785 --> 00:12:46,119 'cause I also do stuff constantly. 302 00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:48,888 I honestly didn't know you, like, do stuff. 303 00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:51,390 Yeah. I do stuff. 304 00:12:51,392 --> 00:12:52,658 Sick. 305 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:54,027 So, when are you getting to the show? 306 00:12:54,029 --> 00:12:56,196 Not sure... Atrocity Algebra is opening, 307 00:12:56,198 --> 00:12:58,164 but thankfully Honeyscratch is going on pretty early. 308 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,700 Oh, good. What time? 309 00:13:00,702 --> 00:13:01,968 I think about 1:00 A.M. 310 00:13:04,106 --> 00:13:06,206 Cool. That... Yeah, that works for me. 311 00:13:24,087 --> 00:13:26,188 Any exciting plans tonight? 312 00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:28,290 Uh, yeah, I'm going to this concert. 313 00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:30,525 - Ooh, a concert. - Yeah, um, 314 00:13:30,527 --> 00:13:32,360 but the band I want to see doesn't go on till 1:00 A.M., 315 00:13:32,362 --> 00:13:34,563 so I'm gonna stop at home for a bit first. 316 00:13:36,433 --> 00:13:38,466 Here's my prediction... 317 00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:40,802 you're not going to that concert. 318 00:13:40,804 --> 00:13:43,405 The moment you cross the threshold of your front door, 319 00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:44,673 you're done. 320 00:13:44,675 --> 00:13:46,007 It's happened to me more than once. 321 00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:47,742 I have some gala to get to, 322 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,877 and I tell myself I'm just going to stop at home 323 00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:52,113 and take a quick shower, and then the next thing I know, 324 00:13:52,115 --> 00:13:55,717 I am luxuriating in my robe and eating corn chips 325 00:13:55,719 --> 00:13:58,319 while catching up on "Society Tomorrow." 326 00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:00,955 Have you seen the new season? It's pretty good. 327 00:14:00,957 --> 00:14:02,123 I binged it. 328 00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,225 Oh, yeah. I'll have to check it out. 329 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:08,129 I bet you will... 330 00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:09,597 tonight... 331 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,733 while you're not at that concert. 332 00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:47,534 Oh, yeah. 333 00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:52,439 Oh, God damn. 334 00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,584 No! 335 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:06,519 Whoo-hoo! 336 00:15:16,114 --> 00:15:17,547 Hey, Mom. 337 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:18,881 No. I was just calling to chat. 338 00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:20,250 Nothing's wrong. 339 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,253 How's the garden doing? 340 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,421 Vroom! 341 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,423 Yes, I do care how the garden is doing, Mom. 342 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,791 Pew! 343 00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:30,693 _ 344 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,965 Mom, why would you say that I'm not going to the concert, 345 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,666 because I am going! 346 00:15:42,373 --> 00:15:44,807 Goddamn it! 347 00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:52,147 Previously on "Society Tomorrow"... 348 00:15:52,149 --> 00:15:53,282 The President's been hacked! 349 00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:54,884 Technology's bad! 350 00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:57,419 Our only chance for survival is to embrace the nihilists. 351 00:15:57,421 --> 00:15:58,621 But they hate to be hugged. 352 00:15:58,623 --> 00:15:59,922 I'm having an affair... 353 00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:01,991 but nobody seems to care. 354 00:16:05,897 --> 00:16:08,030 You shot the nihilist. He's dead! 355 00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:09,131 I was the nihilist... 356 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,265 Oh, I can still make it. 357 00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,133 And now you're gonna die, 358 00:16:12,135 --> 00:16:14,870 because you represent organized religion. 359 00:16:20,410 --> 00:16:23,478 Hey, I think I'm the list... Matt Engelbertson? 360 00:16:25,281 --> 00:16:26,314 Nope. 361 00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:29,250 Uh, it might be under "Fatty Matty"? 362 00:16:29,252 --> 00:16:30,351 Nah. 363 00:16:30,353 --> 00:16:32,020 Uh, well, do you know Todd? 364 00:16:32,022 --> 00:16:33,254 He's friends with the band. 365 00:16:33,256 --> 00:16:35,323 We're all friends with the band. 366 00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:36,892 Oh. 367 00:16:36,894 --> 00:16:39,160 Fatty Matty! 368 00:16:39,162 --> 00:16:40,629 I got your tickets right here. 369 00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:42,296 We're going backstage. 370 00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:45,466 Tee-Oh-Double-Dee! 371 00:16:45,468 --> 00:16:47,735 All right. Guys, guys, guys, 372 00:16:47,737 --> 00:16:49,670 this is Fatty Matty, 373 00:16:49,672 --> 00:16:51,305 my buddy from college I was telling you about. 374 00:16:51,307 --> 00:16:52,706 'Sup, Matt? Todd was telling us about 375 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,442 all that fucked-up shit you guys you used to do. 376 00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:56,010 Sounds hilarious. 377 00:16:56,012 --> 00:16:57,645 Yeah, it was pretty crazy. 378 00:16:57,647 --> 00:17:00,348 Um, dude, I love your music... so many hooks. 379 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,649 How do you guys know Todd? 380 00:17:01,651 --> 00:17:02,783 He's our drug dealer. 381 00:17:02,785 --> 00:17:04,185 Whoopsies. 382 00:17:04,187 --> 00:17:06,220 Todd says you have some corporate sell-out job, 383 00:17:06,222 --> 00:17:08,356 but you still made it out to see us on a work night. 384 00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:10,624 We really appreciate that, man. You're cool. 385 00:17:10,626 --> 00:17:12,593 Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty tired from work, 386 00:17:12,595 --> 00:17:15,129 but supporting live music is really important to me. 387 00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:17,432 Hey, Matt, real quick, can you do me a favor? 388 00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:21,401 Could you throw Jake's cat out the window? 389 00:17:21,403 --> 00:17:23,870 Wait, what's Pebbles doing here? 390 00:17:23,872 --> 00:17:25,004 Exactly. 391 00:17:25,006 --> 00:17:27,307 She shouldn't be here. It's rude. 392 00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:29,376 So we need you to throw her out the window. 393 00:17:29,378 --> 00:17:32,212 Otherwise, we can't play our music. 394 00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:35,949 Do it, Matt. Throw Pebbles out the window. 395 00:17:37,586 --> 00:17:39,319 Unless you're too tired. 396 00:17:39,321 --> 00:17:41,288 Yeah, unless you're too tired. 397 00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:43,390 N... no, I'm not too tired. 398 00:17:43,392 --> 00:17:44,458 Cool. 399 00:17:46,895 --> 00:17:48,462 If you really support live music, 400 00:17:48,464 --> 00:17:50,029 you'll throw Pebbles out the window. 401 00:17:50,031 --> 00:17:51,898 Do it, Fat One! 402 00:17:54,102 --> 00:17:55,501 Pebbles, I'm sorry! 403 00:17:55,503 --> 00:17:58,104 Social media killed my family. 404 00:17:58,106 --> 00:17:59,738 I can't stop using it. 405 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:01,173 God damn it. 406 00:18:11,184 --> 00:18:13,084 Hey there, Fatty Matty. 407 00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:15,886 You know, there's a carton of ice cream in the freezer. 408 00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,422 Why don't you put me on. 409 00:18:17,424 --> 00:18:19,424 We can get cozy. 410 00:18:19,426 --> 00:18:22,327 Shut up, koala pajamas. 411 00:19:16,681 --> 00:19:21,884 ? I could be a better person ? 412 00:19:21,886 --> 00:19:25,921 ? By spreading my wings ? 413 00:19:25,923 --> 00:19:32,795 ? And learning to fly ? 414 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:40,268 ? But it hurts to fall ? 415 00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:45,573 ? So why fly at all? ? 416 00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:49,511 ? Just give up ? 417 00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:54,349 ? Just give up ? 418 00:19:54,351 --> 00:20:01,423 ? Deep down inside, even birds hate to fly ? 419 00:20:01,425 --> 00:20:04,992 ? Just give up ? 420 00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:10,063 ? Just give up ? 421 00:20:10,065 --> 00:20:12,700 ? It feels good ? 422 00:20:12,702 --> 00:20:19,473 ? Yeah, you'll land in your own life ? 423 00:21:00,182 --> 00:21:01,700 There's the hook right there! 424 00:21:02,201 --> 00:21:03,591 Here comes the hook! 425 00:21:06,292 --> 00:21:07,312 No. 426 00:21:07,613 --> 00:21:09,863 Hold on, I think we missed the hook a long time ago. 427 00:21:09,864 --> 00:21:12,824 Just rewind this song. We gotta go back and find that hook. 428 00:21:13,425 --> 00:21:14,853 Where's the fucking hook at?!