1 00:00:04,919 --> 00:00:05,930 So, 2 00:00:05,954 --> 00:00:07,932 two keys, huh? 3 00:00:07,956 --> 00:00:09,500 That's a lot of snow. 4 00:00:09,524 --> 00:00:10,701 And if you can't handle it, 5 00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:12,436 we're happy to find someone who can. 6 00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:14,505 Don't worry about me, friend. I can handle it. 7 00:00:14,529 --> 00:00:16,173 Marissa, baby, 8 00:00:16,197 --> 00:00:17,742 go get our guests something to drink, would you? 9 00:00:17,766 --> 00:00:19,443 - We don't want a drink. - What is this, a social call? 10 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:20,696 - It's not a tea party. - We look like 11 00:00:20,697 --> 00:00:22,680 - five-year-old girls to you? - Gentlemen, please. 12 00:00:22,704 --> 00:00:24,415 Have some patience. 13 00:00:24,439 --> 00:00:26,183 Two keys. 14 00:00:26,207 --> 00:00:27,885 Pure as a Catholic schoolgirl. 15 00:00:27,909 --> 00:00:29,620 Did you bring the cash? 16 00:00:29,644 --> 00:00:31,522 Oh, we brought something much better than cash. 17 00:00:31,546 --> 00:00:32,890 - What is that? - Our guns! 18 00:00:32,914 --> 00:00:34,425 NYPD! You're under arrest! 19 00:00:44,292 --> 00:00:46,537 Boss man's gone. Where'd he go? 20 00:00:49,731 --> 00:00:51,742 Thank you kindly, little lady. 21 00:00:58,306 --> 00:00:59,717 Gio Costa, 22 00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:01,452 you're under arrest. 23 00:01:01,476 --> 00:01:02,820 You want that drink now, Hitchcock? 24 00:01:02,844 --> 00:01:04,221 Don't mind if I do, Scully. 25 00:01:04,245 --> 00:01:05,656 Don't mind if I do. 26 00:01:21,002 --> 00:01:26,799 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 27 00:01:31,973 --> 00:01:33,484 What the hell, Diaz? 28 00:01:33,508 --> 00:01:35,352 You trying to make your heart explode? 29 00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:36,754 I'm loading up on coffee because it's a pain in the ass 30 00:01:36,778 --> 00:01:37,955 getting to the kitchen now, 31 00:01:37,979 --> 00:01:39,023 and I don't want to come back here. 32 00:01:39,047 --> 00:01:40,591 Is this about the desks? 33 00:01:40,615 --> 00:01:42,927 Yes, Terry, it's about the desks. 34 00:01:42,951 --> 00:01:44,762 How long is Commissioner Kelly going to punish us 35 00:01:44,786 --> 00:01:46,697 because Captain Holt complained about him to the mayor? 36 00:01:46,721 --> 00:01:48,332 I don't know, but I hope it ends soon. 37 00:01:48,356 --> 00:01:50,468 Terry's shoulders weren't built for tight spaces. 38 00:01:50,492 --> 00:01:52,002 It's bonk city in here! 39 00:01:52,026 --> 00:01:53,437 I've said "excuse me" more times this morning 40 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,439 than I have in my entire life. 41 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:56,774 Twice! 42 00:01:59,801 --> 00:02:01,378 - Jake. - Rosa. 43 00:02:05,306 --> 00:02:06,617 Good morning. 44 00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:07,952 Oh, my. We are very close together. 45 00:02:07,976 --> 00:02:09,386 I love it. Hey, 46 00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:10,387 you know how I've always wanted 47 00:02:10,411 --> 00:02:11,388 to have another child? 48 00:02:11,412 --> 00:02:12,723 Well, it's happening! 49 00:02:12,747 --> 00:02:13,958 Genevieve is pregnant? 50 00:02:13,982 --> 00:02:15,459 But I thought your "meh-err" 51 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,894 no longer made "whoo-oo." 52 00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:18,963 Correct. My testes no longer make sperm. 53 00:02:18,987 --> 00:02:20,631 I was good with "meh-err" and "whoo-oo." 54 00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:21,699 No, we're thinking of adopting again. 55 00:02:21,723 --> 00:02:23,000 We just got an email 56 00:02:23,024 --> 00:02:24,902 from Nikolaj's 15-year-old brother 57 00:02:24,926 --> 00:02:26,370 in Latvia that he's never met. 58 00:02:26,394 --> 00:02:28,038 Yeah, his name is Dragomir. 59 00:02:28,062 --> 00:02:29,540 Oh, my God. 60 00:02:29,564 --> 00:02:31,575 That is a 42-year-old fur trapper. 61 00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:33,310 What? You don't see the resemblance? 62 00:02:33,334 --> 00:02:35,746 Yeah, to Matisyahu. There's no way he's 15. 63 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:37,348 Well, then, how come he wrote that his greatest fear 64 00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:39,316 is "going through puberty"? 65 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,518 Probably because he wants you to think he's 15 66 00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:41,685 so you'll adopt him. 67 00:02:41,709 --> 00:02:42,887 Look, Charles, I hate to say this, 68 00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:44,488 but I think this guy is scamming you. 69 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,723 Come on. You're just suspicious 70 00:02:45,747 --> 00:02:47,024 - of everyone. - Jake! 71 00:02:47,048 --> 00:02:48,492 Charles! 72 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,094 Captain wants to see you! 73 00:02:50,118 --> 00:02:52,730 I cannot get through this room anymore, 74 00:02:52,754 --> 00:02:54,331 so I'm yelling everything now. 75 00:02:54,355 --> 00:02:56,734 Nancy, Captain said you can 76 00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:58,769 go to your psychologist this morning. 77 00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:00,838 You're clear! Get your head right. 78 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,740 Gentlemen, we have a situation. 79 00:03:02,764 --> 00:03:04,742 Scully and Hitchcock just got a call from Internal Affairs. 80 00:03:04,766 --> 00:03:07,545 They're interested in a case of theirs from 1986. 81 00:03:07,569 --> 00:03:10,347 If you ask me, this old case is only coming up now 82 00:03:10,371 --> 00:03:11,749 because the commissioner is trying 83 00:03:11,773 --> 00:03:13,617 to drum up a scandal in the Nine-Nine. 84 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:15,786 And take out your two best detectives in the process. 85 00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:16,921 You're not my two best detectives. 86 00:03:16,945 --> 00:03:18,522 Oh, that's such a relief. 87 00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,757 I feel so much safer now. 88 00:03:19,781 --> 00:03:21,559 - Good lord. - Don't interfere 89 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:23,093 with IA's investigation. Just find out 90 00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:24,762 what actually happened 91 00:03:24,786 --> 00:03:26,630 in case Kelly is trying to manipulate the facts. 92 00:03:26,654 --> 00:03:27,728 Can you do that? 93 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,099 Oh, so you're asking if we can open a portal 94 00:03:29,123 --> 00:03:30,701 to the wet and wild 1980s 95 00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:31,969 to investigation the bizarre lives 96 00:03:31,993 --> 00:03:33,571 of these magnificent dodos? 97 00:03:33,595 --> 00:03:35,539 I believe it was a young Barack Obama 98 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,075 who said "Uh, yes, we can." 99 00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:39,977 Ooh, sorry. Sorry. 100 00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,379 Sorry. You want to see me, sarge? 101 00:03:42,403 --> 00:03:43,581 Yeah. I know we're all 102 00:03:43,605 --> 00:03:45,049 sort of crammed together in here, 103 00:03:45,073 --> 00:03:46,717 but we were kind of thinking 104 00:03:46,741 --> 00:03:48,152 that your uniformed officers 105 00:03:48,176 --> 00:03:49,987 are, uh, causing some problems. 106 00:03:50,011 --> 00:03:51,589 Oh? Like what?- 107 00:03:51,613 --> 00:03:53,057 - How do I put this tactfully? 108 00:03:53,081 --> 00:03:54,725 Your squad turned the kitchen into a cesspool, 109 00:03:54,749 --> 00:03:55,960 nastied up the bathroom, and made the elevator 110 00:03:55,984 --> 00:03:57,461 smell like a hundred butts. 111 00:03:57,485 --> 00:03:59,396 Okay, thank you for your tact, Diaz. 112 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:00,965 Well, that's unfair. Your squad is responsible 113 00:04:00,989 --> 00:04:03,100 for at least 50 of those butts. 114 00:04:03,124 --> 00:04:04,602 Look, all I'm saying is maybe 115 00:04:04,626 --> 00:04:05,736 you can ask the downstairs people 116 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:06,737 - to be more... - Excuse me? 117 00:04:06,761 --> 00:04:08,405 "Downstairs people"? 118 00:04:08,429 --> 00:04:10,140 That's a little offensive. 119 00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:12,409 Oh, don't get it twisted. 120 00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:13,911 It's just where you came from. 121 00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:15,779 Some of my best friends are downstairs people. 122 00:04:15,803 --> 00:04:19,516 Okay, I think you know exactly what that sounds like, 123 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,652 you upstairs people. 124 00:04:21,676 --> 00:04:23,153 Oh, thank you for that nice compliment. 125 00:04:23,177 --> 00:04:24,688 It wasn't a compliment, and you know it! 126 00:04:24,712 --> 00:04:25,856 I said it with 'tude. 127 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,658 Classic downstairs person. 128 00:04:27,682 --> 00:04:31,095 Wow, you are prejudiced against the first floor. 129 00:04:31,119 --> 00:04:33,530 I'm taking this up the chain. 130 00:04:33,554 --> 00:04:35,766 Gina Linetti spaghetti confetti. 131 00:04:35,790 --> 00:04:37,768 Gina Linetti spaghetti confetti. 132 00:04:37,792 --> 00:04:39,603 - Faster. - GinaLinettispaghetticonfetti. 133 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:40,938 - Captain Holt. - Uh, yeah, can't you see 134 00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:42,039 we're in the middle of something? 135 00:04:42,063 --> 00:04:43,607 Sorry. It sounded like you were 136 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,542 just saying gibberish back and forth. 137 00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:46,944 Gina is helping me to prepare for a televised interview. 138 00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:48,479 Since the mayor has yet 139 00:04:48,503 --> 00:04:49,813 to weigh in on Commissioner Kelly's 140 00:04:49,837 --> 00:04:51,482 "Vigilant Policing" initiative, 141 00:04:51,506 --> 00:04:52,616 I've decided to take my objections 142 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,951 straight to the people. 143 00:04:53,975 --> 00:04:56,487 And this gibberish is actually Gina jargon, 144 00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:58,188 a world-renowned linguistic system 145 00:04:58,212 --> 00:05:00,157 that worked pretty well for Ellen Musk. 146 00:05:00,181 --> 00:05:02,126 - Elon Musk. - Ellen Musk. 147 00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:05,195 Season one winner of VH1's "Queen Bitch." 148 00:05:05,219 --> 00:05:06,830 Sir, isn't going to the press 149 00:05:06,854 --> 00:05:08,465 going to make Kelly even angrier at us? 150 00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:11,061 Yeah. He's already made life here pretty miserable. 151 00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:14,972 The crowding, the desks, the downstairs people treating the bullpen 152 00:05:14,996 --> 00:05:16,573 like a dumpster. 153 00:05:16,597 --> 00:05:19,710 Ooh, I'm so sorry for the untidiness, milord. 154 00:05:19,734 --> 00:05:20,811 That's enough. I don't have time 155 00:05:20,835 --> 00:05:22,046 for your internecine battles, 156 00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:23,180 and I don't give a hoot 157 00:05:23,204 --> 00:05:24,848 about your minor inconveniences. 158 00:05:24,872 --> 00:05:26,817 I am trying to fight injustice 159 00:05:26,841 --> 00:05:30,020 and do what is right for the entire NYPD. 160 00:05:30,044 --> 00:05:31,588 Understood? 161 00:05:31,612 --> 00:05:34,525 Yes, milord. 162 00:05:34,549 --> 00:05:36,827 Okay, let's set the scene. 163 00:05:36,851 --> 00:05:38,228 The year is 1986. 164 00:05:38,252 --> 00:05:39,997 "Top Gun" is crushing the box office, 165 00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:41,699 and the Beastie Boys have just been issued 166 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:43,734 - their "License to Ill." - And that's the year 167 00:05:43,758 --> 00:05:45,169 I got felt up for the first time 168 00:05:45,193 --> 00:05:47,204 - under the shirt. - Always a big moment 169 00:05:47,228 --> 00:05:48,572 in a young boy's life. All right, tell us 170 00:05:48,596 --> 00:05:49,740 about the case. 171 00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:51,008 We were working organized crime, 172 00:05:51,032 --> 00:05:53,010 and we took down a mafia boss, Gio Costa, 173 00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,578 for running cocaine. 174 00:05:54,602 --> 00:05:56,013 We were the studs of the Nine-Nine. 175 00:05:56,037 --> 00:05:58,015 Well I'm sure "studs" is a bit of a... 176 00:05:58,039 --> 00:05:59,083 Oh, my God. I can't believe 177 00:05:59,107 --> 00:06:00,250 I'ma say this, but... 178 00:06:00,274 --> 00:06:02,119 Meow. 179 00:06:02,143 --> 00:06:04,188 No, that is not what I was gonna say, 180 00:06:04,212 --> 00:06:06,023 but honestly, yeah, meow. 181 00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:08,192 No offense, guys, but what the hell happened to you? 182 00:06:08,216 --> 00:06:09,593 Are you body shaming us? 183 00:06:09,617 --> 00:06:11,195 No, I'm personality-shaming you. 184 00:06:11,219 --> 00:06:13,564 You were so alert and cool and job-doing. 185 00:06:13,588 --> 00:06:15,032 So how did you get to Costa? 186 00:06:15,056 --> 00:06:16,266 We had a CI on the inside 187 00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:17,267 who helped set up a sting. 188 00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:18,769 We took down Costa, 189 00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:20,104 recovered a ton of coke 190 00:06:20,128 --> 00:06:21,805 and three duffel bags full of cash. 191 00:06:21,829 --> 00:06:23,107 Seems pretty clear-cut, 192 00:06:23,131 --> 00:06:24,708 but then why would IA reopen the case? 193 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,243 Unless... they think it's some sort 194 00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:28,212 of "Freaky Friday" situation and you guys traded places 195 00:06:28,236 --> 00:06:29,880 with horny singles in your area. 196 00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:31,715 - It's possible. - So what happened to the CI? 197 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,283 Who knows? It was so long ago. 198 00:06:33,307 --> 00:06:35,586 I mean, I barely remember how I got to work this morning. 199 00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:36,920 I think there was an ambulance involved. 200 00:06:36,944 --> 00:06:38,155 - Oh, there was. - Oh. 201 00:06:38,179 --> 00:06:39,656 Wait a minute. Here's a question. 202 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:40,924 You said you recovered 203 00:06:40,948 --> 00:06:42,133 three duffel bags full of cash 204 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:43,761 and that's what the evidence logs say as well. 205 00:06:43,785 --> 00:06:44,762 - Yeah. - So? 206 00:06:44,786 --> 00:06:46,630 So count the bags. 207 00:06:46,654 --> 00:06:48,332 One, two, three, like you said, 208 00:06:48,356 --> 00:06:50,134 but then take a look in this mirror behind you, 209 00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:52,236 the one that shows off your shockingly taut bottoms. 210 00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,904 A fourth bag. 211 00:06:53,928 --> 00:06:55,139 Oh, probably missed it. 212 00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:56,907 Yeah, you know us. We're dumb-dumbs. 213 00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:59,243 But even you wouldn't miss a giant bag full of cash. 214 00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:01,111 - It was the '80s. - Police weren't perfect then 215 00:07:01,135 --> 00:07:02,980 - like they are today. - All right, calm down. 216 00:07:03,004 --> 00:07:04,648 We're not accusing you of anything, right, Jake? 217 00:07:04,672 --> 00:07:06,250 - Kinda was. - This is crazy! 218 00:07:06,274 --> 00:07:08,085 - We're innocent! - IA is railroading us 219 00:07:08,109 --> 00:07:10,687 like Holt said, and you're joining in the witch hunt! 220 00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:12,089 You're fake news! 221 00:07:12,113 --> 00:07:13,590 Sad! 222 00:07:15,316 --> 00:07:18,318 Yeah, that's definitely the language of the innocent. 223 00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:22,020 Okay, so there are two questions on the table. 224 00:07:22,044 --> 00:07:23,221 First, who was more bang-able, 225 00:07:23,245 --> 00:07:24,556 young Hitchcock or young Scully? 226 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:26,024 Young Hitchcock. Total smoke show. 227 00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:27,392 Agreed, but it's close, and second, 228 00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:30,093 did they steal a big old bag full of mob cash? 229 00:07:30,094 --> 00:07:31,371 They said they didn't do 230 00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:32,739 anything wrong. I believe them. 231 00:07:32,763 --> 00:07:33,740 When I brought up the fourth bag, 232 00:07:33,764 --> 00:07:34,875 they stormed out. 233 00:07:34,899 --> 00:07:36,376 Or, once again, I think 234 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,978 you just can't help being suspicious 235 00:07:38,002 --> 00:07:39,479 - of everyone. - Oh, my God. 236 00:07:39,503 --> 00:07:41,048 Is that what this is about? You're mad because I said 237 00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:42,416 the old sea captain you want to adopt 238 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,454 is scamming you? 239 00:07:43,455 --> 00:07:45,209 Dragomir is not a captain. He clubs the fish 240 00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,088 in the bottom of the boat. That's his after-school job. 241 00:07:47,112 --> 00:07:48,882 Okay, Charles, you are letting your emotions 242 00:07:48,883 --> 00:07:50,264 cloud your judgment with Dragomir 243 00:07:50,265 --> 00:07:51,575 and with these guys. 244 00:07:51,599 --> 00:07:53,073 I mean, for all we know, Hitchcock and Scully 245 00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,145 have been playing us for years 246 00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,279 like criminal masterminds. 247 00:07:57,005 --> 00:07:58,616 Okay, so maybe not masterminds, 248 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,618 but I'm still going in there and getting the truth. 249 00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:02,153 All right, guys, let's not make this 250 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,487 any more difficult than it has to be. 251 00:08:03,511 --> 00:08:04,989 We know there was a fourth bag of money. 252 00:08:05,013 --> 00:08:06,490 - Where'd it go? - We told you dorks. 253 00:08:06,514 --> 00:08:08,592 We never saw it. Now leave us alone. 254 00:08:08,616 --> 00:08:10,161 I don't think you get what's happening here. 255 00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:11,328 This is an interrogation, 256 00:08:11,352 --> 00:08:12,997 and it's only gonna end one way: 257 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:14,498 with you telling us everything. 258 00:08:14,522 --> 00:08:16,333 Something funny? 259 00:08:16,357 --> 00:08:18,369 It's just I don't think you get what's happening here. 260 00:08:18,393 --> 00:08:20,504 You're locked in a small, windowless room 261 00:08:20,528 --> 00:08:22,173 with the two of us one hour after lunch. 262 00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:23,174 - Oh no. - You want to know 263 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,308 what we ate? 264 00:08:24,332 --> 00:08:25,609 Four-cheese pizza, double-cheese, 265 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:28,012 with a side of cheesy fries, extra cheese, 266 00:08:28,036 --> 00:08:29,380 and a big old slice of cheesecake. 267 00:08:29,404 --> 00:08:31,515 But, Scully, 268 00:08:31,539 --> 00:08:33,317 - you're lactose intolerant. - Yeah. 269 00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:37,521 This whole room is a [BLEEP] Dutch oven. 270 00:08:37,545 --> 00:08:39,190 What the hell is this? 271 00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:40,624 The downstairs people 272 00:08:40,648 --> 00:08:42,626 keep making a mess of the microwave. 273 00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:44,195 One of them thought it was cool 274 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,397 to heat up soup in an uncovered dish. 275 00:08:46,421 --> 00:08:48,332 - That's just crazy! - How do you know 276 00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:49,533 that's our splatter? There are some 277 00:08:49,557 --> 00:08:51,235 sloppy Susans upstairs. 278 00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:53,003 I saw it go down. It was one of you, 279 00:08:53,027 --> 00:08:54,505 - so ya banned. - No way. 280 00:08:54,529 --> 00:08:56,974 This microwave belongs to the entire precinct, 281 00:08:56,998 --> 00:08:59,009 so I'm nah-banned. 282 00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:01,178 Actually, turns out, this microwave 283 00:09:01,202 --> 00:09:02,546 is not precinct property. 284 00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:04,381 Detective O'Shea brought it from home 285 00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:06,484 - back in '98, so... - Ya banned. 286 00:09:06,508 --> 00:09:08,219 I went to visit O'Shea's widow.- 287 00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,353 - He's dead? - Big-time. 288 00:09:09,377 --> 00:09:10,588 She is not over it. 289 00:09:10,612 --> 00:09:13,157 Anyway, I got her to sign a contract 290 00:09:13,181 --> 00:09:15,426 that states the upstairs has exclusive 291 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,027 microwave rights. 292 00:09:17,051 --> 00:09:18,529 You bothered a widow with this? 293 00:09:18,553 --> 00:09:20,331 Honestly, it wasn't that awkward for me. 294 00:09:20,355 --> 00:09:21,499 Rosa did it. 295 00:09:21,523 --> 00:09:23,100 It was rough, but she signed it, 296 00:09:23,124 --> 00:09:24,568 so ya banned. 297 00:09:24,592 --> 00:09:26,604 Okay, now that we can all breathe, 298 00:09:26,628 --> 00:09:28,339 let's try this again, unless you want to try 299 00:09:28,363 --> 00:09:29,607 and stink up the entire city of New York. 300 00:09:29,631 --> 00:09:31,408 Challenge accepted. 301 00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:33,010 Okay, everyone, be cool! Be cool! 302 00:09:33,034 --> 00:09:34,211 Just tell me everything that happened 303 00:09:34,235 --> 00:09:35,246 after the bust. 304 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:36,280 I'll tell you what happened. 305 00:09:36,304 --> 00:09:37,715 We were frigging heroes. 306 00:09:37,739 --> 00:09:39,583 Anybody have a trash can? 307 00:09:39,607 --> 00:09:42,219 'Cause Flat Top and the Freak are bringing in some garbage. 308 00:09:44,312 --> 00:09:45,956 You guys had badass entrance lines 309 00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,258 and people cheered? 310 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,126 What happened? Where'd it all go wrong? 311 00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:50,594 Some things aren't for us to know. 312 00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:52,963 Look, guys, we never had that money. 313 00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:54,465 Here. We'll prove it to you. 314 00:09:54,489 --> 00:09:56,233 Those are our financial records. 315 00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:58,435 I don't have any retirement. I don't have any security, 316 00:09:58,459 --> 00:09:59,470 or a car. 317 00:09:59,494 --> 00:10:01,105 I rent most of my clothes. 318 00:10:01,129 --> 00:10:02,106 We get it. You're poor. 319 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,108 I'm not just poor, son. 320 00:10:04,132 --> 00:10:05,476 I'm destitute. 321 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,244 Definitely not a wink-able line. 322 00:10:07,268 --> 00:10:08,746 Ugh, look at all these credit card charges 323 00:10:08,770 --> 00:10:10,414 for Wing Slutz. 324 00:10:10,438 --> 00:10:11,615 It can't be healthy to eat there this much. 325 00:10:11,639 --> 00:10:13,250 If you want a diet option, 326 00:10:13,274 --> 00:10:15,119 the Marine Park location has a blue cheese parfait. 327 00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:17,121 You guys go all the way down to Marine Park for wings? 328 00:10:17,145 --> 00:10:18,389 There's a waitress there who always gives us 329 00:10:18,413 --> 00:10:19,623 an extra drumstick 330 00:10:19,647 --> 00:10:21,292 - in our slut bucket. - Wait a minute. 331 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:22,760 Why do you pay for a monthly parking spot? 332 00:10:22,784 --> 00:10:24,395 Because it's New York. It's hard to park. 333 00:10:24,419 --> 00:10:25,763 Yeah, but he just said he doesn't have a car. 334 00:10:25,787 --> 00:10:27,231 So what's parked in this spot 335 00:10:27,255 --> 00:10:28,632 you don't want us to know about? 336 00:10:28,656 --> 00:10:31,502 Could it be a super-expensive sports car, 337 00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:33,103 paid for in cash? 338 00:10:33,127 --> 00:10:34,305 Nope. 339 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:36,106 It's just a sketchy old sex van. 340 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:38,509 There is nothing sketchy about the Beaver Trap. 341 00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:40,578 Yes, there is. 342 00:10:40,602 --> 00:10:42,146 In short, Commissioner Kelly's 343 00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:43,447 new initiative 344 00:10:43,471 --> 00:10:45,482 is a regressive, wrongheaded return 345 00:10:45,506 --> 00:10:49,153 to the NYPD's darkest days. 346 00:10:49,177 --> 00:10:50,154 How was that? 347 00:10:50,178 --> 00:10:51,689 Like watching a corpse 348 00:10:51,713 --> 00:10:54,425 wash up on shore, lifeless. 349 00:10:54,449 --> 00:10:56,126 Come on, you gotta pace it up, okay? 350 00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:57,328 You need to smile more. 351 00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,663 Energize the eyes! Gesticulate! 352 00:10:59,687 --> 00:11:01,498 You're describing the behavior of a crazy person. 353 00:11:01,522 --> 00:11:03,367 Am I? Because right now, 354 00:11:03,391 --> 00:11:05,336 you can't take your eyes off me. 355 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,670 Oh, that must be 356 00:11:06,694 --> 00:11:08,205 the camera crew, here to set up the remote. 357 00:11:08,229 --> 00:11:09,506 Oh, but you're not ready. 358 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:11,175 This is gonna be like "The King's Speech," 359 00:11:11,199 --> 00:11:12,676 before he lost all that weight or whatever. 360 00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,378 - I haven't seen that movie. - Oh, it's fine, Gina. 361 00:11:14,402 --> 00:11:16,680 I don't need any tricks. I've got the truth, 362 00:11:16,704 --> 00:11:18,215 and the truth is all I need 363 00:11:18,239 --> 00:11:19,617 to bring down... 364 00:11:19,641 --> 00:11:21,452 Commissioner Kelly! 365 00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:23,287 Hello. 366 00:11:23,311 --> 00:11:25,222 So, Hitchcock, what's the deal with the secret van? 367 00:11:25,246 --> 00:11:26,657 Oh, nothing. It's where I sleep 368 00:11:26,681 --> 00:11:27,691 during my divorces. 369 00:11:27,715 --> 00:11:29,059 If this van's a-rocking, 370 00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:30,494 my ex-wife's a-locking... 371 00:11:30,518 --> 00:11:31,695 me, out of her house. 372 00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:33,130 Catchy. 373 00:11:33,154 --> 00:11:34,531 What are we doing here, Jake? 374 00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:36,066 - What are we even looking for? - Whatever it is 375 00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:37,801 that Hitchcock's trying to hide from us. 376 00:11:37,825 --> 00:11:40,204 I'd imagine he'd be hiding everything in here from us. 377 00:11:40,228 --> 00:11:42,306 - It's a van of horrors. - Yeah, I know. 378 00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:44,575 I saw the bucket of male body butter, 379 00:11:44,599 --> 00:11:46,543 and her. But my gut tells me 380 00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:48,078 there's a smoking gun in here. 381 00:11:48,102 --> 00:11:49,380 It's like you want them to be guilty. 382 00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:50,547 I don't. I just want 383 00:11:50,571 --> 00:11:51,749 to know what happened, unlike you, 384 00:11:51,773 --> 00:11:52,755 who doesn't want them to be guilty, 385 00:11:52,756 --> 00:11:53,808 no matter what the truth is. 386 00:11:53,809 --> 00:11:55,568 I'm not an idiot just because I have a heart. 387 00:11:55,569 --> 00:11:56,939 Well, your heart just might be an idiot, 388 00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:59,256 because voilą! 389 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,591 So many smells. Shouldn't have gone 390 00:12:00,615 --> 00:12:02,092 - for the flourish. - Wait, is that... 391 00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:03,560 - The fourth bag from the picture. 392 00:12:03,584 --> 00:12:07,398 Same logo, same stain under the handle, and... 393 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,066 It's empty. They're guilty! 394 00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:10,401 Nuh-uh. Not necessarily. 395 00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,905 I mean, there could be a very good... 396 00:12:13,461 --> 00:12:15,339 Damn it. We're trapped! 397 00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:16,674 We're trapped in the Beaver Trap! 398 00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:18,175 We're the beavers! 399 00:12:18,199 --> 00:12:19,332 We're the beavers! 400 00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:24,457 It won't budge. 401 00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:25,569 I can't believe we let Hitchcock and Scully 402 00:12:25,593 --> 00:12:26,570 get the drop on us. 403 00:12:26,594 --> 00:12:27,571 It's like being outsmarted 404 00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:28,572 by a couple of tomatoes. 405 00:12:28,596 --> 00:12:29,639 I'm the tomato. 406 00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:30,907 I was wrong about them, 407 00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:32,409 and I'm probably wrong about Dragomir. 408 00:12:32,433 --> 00:12:33,410 I'm too nice. 409 00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:34,978 I let every random jerk 410 00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:36,913 suckle at the teat of my human kindness. 411 00:12:36,937 --> 00:12:38,048 Gross. Now please 412 00:12:38,072 --> 00:12:39,649 hand me that mannequin's leg. 413 00:12:39,673 --> 00:12:41,418 There were so many warning signs about Dragomir. 414 00:12:41,442 --> 00:12:42,719 Nikolaj had never heard of him... 415 00:12:42,743 --> 00:12:43,920 - He's 45. - He asked for money. 416 00:12:43,944 --> 00:12:45,322 - He's 45. - He didn't have 417 00:12:45,346 --> 00:12:46,656 - a birth certificate. - He's 45. 418 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,924 - He looked older than 15. - He's 45. 419 00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:49,493 Fine. He was 45. 420 00:12:49,517 --> 00:12:51,628 I'm just a sucker, trapped in a creepy sex van. 421 00:12:51,652 --> 00:12:52,929 Don't say that. It's not true. 422 00:12:52,953 --> 00:12:54,754 You're no longer trapped in a van. 423 00:12:58,626 --> 00:13:00,804 Oh, crap. They took our car. 424 00:13:00,828 --> 00:13:02,072 All right, I'll just call them 425 00:13:02,096 --> 00:13:03,607 and beg them to turn themselves in. 426 00:13:03,631 --> 00:13:05,609 Oh, no. I left my phone in the car. 427 00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:07,277 I know it's under one of their butts. 428 00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:08,478 Ooh, if they have your phone, 429 00:13:08,502 --> 00:13:09,846 we can track where they're going. 430 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,449 I have "Find My Phone" set up to track you. 431 00:13:12,473 --> 00:13:13,617 What? I do that for all my friends, 432 00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:14,951 not just you. 433 00:13:14,975 --> 00:13:16,086 Show me. 434 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:17,854 There's no time! Look, 435 00:13:17,878 --> 00:13:19,689 they're headed south on the Belt Parkway. 436 00:13:19,713 --> 00:13:20,690 Ooh, check what exit they're taking. 437 00:13:20,714 --> 00:13:22,025 Marine Park. 438 00:13:22,049 --> 00:13:23,960 They're going to Wing Slutz! 439 00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:25,529 But how do we get there? We don't have a car. 440 00:13:25,553 --> 00:13:27,186 But we do have a van. 441 00:13:29,824 --> 00:13:31,001 Yeah, we should have taken a Lyft. 442 00:13:31,025 --> 00:13:32,035 I feel like a predator. 443 00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:33,503 This isn't our car! 444 00:13:33,527 --> 00:13:34,671 - It's a loaner. - We respect women! 445 00:13:34,695 --> 00:13:35,872 I'm still with her! 446 00:13:35,896 --> 00:13:37,874 So you are doing a TV interview? 447 00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:39,876 - That's cool. - Why are you smiling? 448 00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,545 'Cause he's one of those friendly villains, 449 00:13:41,569 --> 00:13:43,613 like the Verizon guy who defected to Sprint. 450 00:13:43,637 --> 00:13:44,881 If you're angry, come out and say it. 451 00:13:44,905 --> 00:13:46,716 I'm not angry. I'm just curious 452 00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:48,018 about what all this means. 453 00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,486 It's not often that one of our captains 454 00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:51,488 makes an unapproved media appearance. 455 00:13:51,512 --> 00:13:53,056 - It's fun. - I plan on using 456 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,025 this interview to criticize you and your policies. 457 00:13:55,049 --> 00:13:57,627 Okay. That's your prerogative. 458 00:13:57,651 --> 00:13:58,895 No, don't chuckle. 459 00:13:58,919 --> 00:14:00,730 A frown is a more appropriate response. 460 00:14:00,754 --> 00:14:02,332 - I like you, Raymond. - No, you don't. 461 00:14:02,356 --> 00:14:03,867 I do! And I just came down here 462 00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:06,002 to tell you that if you go through with this interview, 463 00:14:06,026 --> 00:14:07,838 I have some real fun ideas 464 00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:10,340 about ways to spice up life at the Nine-Nine. 465 00:14:10,364 --> 00:14:12,008 I don't like your threats, and I don't like 466 00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:13,910 the cheery manner in which you've chosen to deliver them. 467 00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,846 Well, I'm just a cheery guy. 468 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:18,014 - You're a snake. - Okay. 469 00:14:18,038 --> 00:14:19,649 I'm a snake. 470 00:14:24,445 --> 00:14:25,856 Oh, no, they found us! 471 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,490 Damn straight, we did. What were you thinking? 472 00:14:27,514 --> 00:14:29,693 They obviously weren't thinking about anyone, 473 00:14:29,717 --> 00:14:31,428 especially the one friend... me... 474 00:14:31,452 --> 00:14:32,929 who had their backs and believed in them 475 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:34,397 the whole time! 476 00:14:34,421 --> 00:14:35,665 Why is the little one so mad? 477 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:36,833 He's going through something. 478 00:14:36,857 --> 00:14:38,501 Now stand up, wet wipe your hands, 479 00:14:38,525 --> 00:14:39,903 and put them behind your backs so we can cuff you. 480 00:14:39,927 --> 00:14:41,171 Oh, thank God. I'm so tired of running. 481 00:14:41,195 --> 00:14:42,873 - It's only been an hour. - Stop. 482 00:14:42,897 --> 00:14:44,441 They didn't do anything wrong. 483 00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:45,742 Excuse me, ma'am. This is police business. 484 00:14:45,766 --> 00:14:47,510 I know. I'm Donna, the manager here, 485 00:14:47,534 --> 00:14:49,045 but my real name's Marissa Costa. 486 00:14:49,069 --> 00:14:50,780 I'm Gio Costa's wife, 487 00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:52,115 and I'm the reason they're here. 488 00:14:52,139 --> 00:14:54,050 - You were the informant. - Yeah, I was. 489 00:14:54,074 --> 00:14:55,852 Marissa's the only reason we got Costa. 490 00:14:55,876 --> 00:14:57,454 And our captain screwed her over. 491 00:14:57,478 --> 00:14:58,889 He wouldn't put her in Witness Protection. 492 00:14:58,913 --> 00:15:00,390 So you did take the cash. You just 493 00:15:00,414 --> 00:15:02,025 didn't keep it. You gave it to her. 494 00:15:02,049 --> 00:15:03,727 We come down here and check on her periodically. 495 00:15:03,751 --> 00:15:05,195 Yeah, we never spoke, but if she put an extra wing 496 00:15:05,219 --> 00:15:06,730 in our slut bucket, it meant everything was okay. 497 00:15:06,754 --> 00:15:07,964 Wait, so I was right. 498 00:15:07,988 --> 00:15:09,566 Hitchcock and Scully are good people. 499 00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:10,901 You bet your nips we are, skid mark. 500 00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:12,435 Well, 501 00:15:12,459 --> 00:15:15,472 people are complicated. These two contain... 502 00:15:15,496 --> 00:15:16,907 - multitudes. - Yeah. 503 00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,041 Hey, guys. 504 00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:19,809 I just wanted to say 505 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,077 that I talked to my squad, 506 00:15:21,101 --> 00:15:22,112 and we're sorry 507 00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:23,613 we've been so disrespectful 508 00:15:23,637 --> 00:15:24,915 - of your space. - Really? 509 00:15:24,939 --> 00:15:26,216 - What's going on here? - Nothing. 510 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,751 We just want to make things right. 511 00:15:27,775 --> 00:15:29,886 You upstairs people are really great, 512 00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:31,755 and there's a lot we can learn from you. 513 00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:34,157 Well, that is true. We are pretty great, 514 00:15:34,181 --> 00:15:36,226 and you downstairs people are gonna figure it out. 515 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:37,928 - You're all right. - Thanks, Terry. 516 00:15:37,952 --> 00:15:39,796 - Truce? - Truce. 517 00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,097 Now! 518 00:15:41,121 --> 00:15:42,766 What the hell? 519 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:44,634 You thought the microwave was a mess before? 520 00:15:44,658 --> 00:15:46,903 Well, we just threw a whole fish in there. 521 00:15:46,927 --> 00:15:48,672 What happened to the truce? 522 00:15:48,696 --> 00:15:50,640 - The truce was crap. - You bet it was. 523 00:15:50,664 --> 00:15:52,108 Viva the downstairs people! 524 00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:55,946 What the hell was in that fish? 525 00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,514 I don't know. It's from the Gowanus. 526 00:15:57,538 --> 00:16:00,183 It probably ate a bunch of batteries 527 00:16:00,207 --> 00:16:02,786 Diaz, what is going on? 528 00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:04,688 Commissioner Kelly is still in my office. 529 00:16:04,712 --> 00:16:06,122 I'm so sorry. I didn't know. 530 00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:07,791 We were just having a minor disagreement. 531 00:16:07,815 --> 00:16:09,125 Well, can it! 532 00:16:09,149 --> 00:16:11,027 I am struggling for the very soul 533 00:16:11,051 --> 00:16:12,529 of the NYPD, 534 00:16:12,553 --> 00:16:14,130 so please stop squabbling 535 00:16:14,154 --> 00:16:15,598 over these unimportant things. 536 00:16:15,622 --> 00:16:16,800 Of course, sir, 537 00:16:16,824 --> 00:16:17,801 but it's not unimportant. 538 00:16:17,825 --> 00:16:19,769 The overcrowding, the desks... 539 00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:20,971 it's affecting morale. 540 00:16:20,995 --> 00:16:22,706 Jeez, something smells funky. 541 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:23,974 What happened here? 542 00:16:23,998 --> 00:16:25,542 Uh-oh. Was it a fight, 543 00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:27,043 because it's so crowded? 544 00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:28,478 I hope nothing else happens 545 00:16:28,502 --> 00:16:29,980 to make everything worse. 546 00:16:30,004 --> 00:16:31,481 Listen, Kelly, I'm going to do that interview, 547 00:16:31,505 --> 00:16:33,016 and you can't stop me, so go ahead. 548 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,685 Cut our budget, close more of the building, 549 00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:38,288 open other fake IA investigations 550 00:16:38,312 --> 00:16:40,156 - into my detectives. - I didn't do that. 551 00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:42,158 No, the IA thing... your detectives 552 00:16:42,182 --> 00:16:43,226 aren't under investigation, 553 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,995 although it's not a bad idea. 554 00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:47,664 Hey, thanks for the suggestion. 555 00:16:47,688 --> 00:16:49,566 Excuse me. 556 00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:51,634 I need to make a call. 557 00:16:51,658 --> 00:16:53,003 Okay, thank you, sir. Hey, guys, 558 00:16:53,027 --> 00:16:54,704 I have something super important to tell you, 559 00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,006 but first, Scully, you have a Hitler sauce moustache. 560 00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:57,240 Thank you. Go on. 561 00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:58,541 Internal Affairs isn't actually 562 00:16:58,565 --> 00:16:59,576 investigating your case. 563 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,844 That call you got wasn't real. 564 00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:02,746 What? The guy on the phone 565 00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:03,847 sounded legit. He had a very deep voice. 566 00:17:03,871 --> 00:17:05,181 If it's not IA, who is it? 567 00:17:05,205 --> 00:17:06,182 My guess is someone who wanted us 568 00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:07,217 to lead them to Marissa. 569 00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,644 Which, apparently, we just did. 570 00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:17,144 That's Gio Costa. How'd he get out of jail? 571 00:17:17,145 --> 00:17:19,294 Probably for good behavior. He had really great manners. 572 00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:21,725 Yeah, he and his gigantic gun look like real sweethearts. 573 00:17:21,726 --> 00:17:22,909 - Noice. - All right, 574 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,205 we gotta get out of here. Is there a back exit? 575 00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:25,173 - Through the kitchen. - Great. 576 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,110 All right, listen up, everybody. 577 00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,779 We're NYPD. If you could all please 578 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,291 head to the back exit immediately. 579 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:30,492 Leave the wings, Hitchcock. 580 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,860 No! 581 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,532 Look, Jake, it's the slut sauce! 582 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,100 - It's perfect! - Hey, guys, 583 00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,668 we gotta leave, and we gotta leave right now. 584 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,370 - Charles, let's go. - Negative. 585 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,871 I count three, possibly four gunmen out there. 586 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,439 All right, no one panic. 587 00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:45,808 I'm sure they didn't even see us come in here. 588 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,509 We saw you go back there. 589 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,111 Okay, so I was wrong about that. 590 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,612 I'm gonna go around back and cut them off. 591 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:54,516 Knock this door down, now. 592 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,784 All right, here's the way I see it. 593 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,119 We gotta break out the back entrance 594 00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,453 and get these people to the van. 595 00:17:58,477 --> 00:17:59,655 Okay, everyone, just follow my lead. 596 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,290 No, we got you into this mess. 597 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,724 We'll get you out of it. Follow our lead. 598 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,193 There are armed men out there. 599 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,561 We don't even have our bulletproof vests. 600 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,829 We can use the slut sauce. 601 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,564 That's insane. It's not even solid. 602 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,898 The bullets will go right through it. 603 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,733 If you don't think the slut sauce is solid, 604 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,902 then you might want to talk to my rock-hard arteries. 605 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,804 We're doing this, and that's final. 606 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:19,374 Scully, it's time to sauce up. 607 00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,147 - Why'd you stop yelling? - Look. 608 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,584 Oh, thank god. 609 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,252 My wife and my dad are here. 610 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,553 I mean, Captain Dad. 611 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:32,855 I mean, I know who my dad is. 612 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,389 It's you. Hi, Amy. 613 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,691 SWAT just cleared out the dining room. 614 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,426 - They got everyone. - Copy that. 615 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,727 All right, Charles, you can bring everyone out. 616 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,495 The Nine-Nine is here. 617 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,831 See, everyone, I told you we had it all under control. 618 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,166 There was no need to panic. 619 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,534 You're dead, Marissa. 620 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:51,506 No! 621 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:55,911 Are you guys okay? Did you get hit? 622 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,713 No. It hit the tub, 623 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,847 but the bullet didn't make it through. 624 00:18:58,871 --> 00:18:59,948 The slut sauce... 625 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,250 it saved you. 626 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,451 You bet your nips it did, 627 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,552 skid mark. 628 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,187 Oh, Hitchcock. 629 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,922 You suck, man. 630 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,224 So I spoke to Internal Affairs, 631 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,960 and since Hitchcock and Scully did steal that money, 632 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,262 even though it was to help someone, 633 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,696 there have to be consequences. 634 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,398 Desk duty, desk duty, desk duty... 635 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:17,532 One year of desk duty. 636 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:18,567 Yeah! 637 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,702 Oh, I mean, oh, no. 638 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,537 Thanks for getting there so fast today, sir. 639 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:23,872 Were you able to still do your interview? 640 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,441 He did not. However, I did so. 641 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,910 The real question is 642 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,611 what are police? 643 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,446 I'm sorry. Who are you again? 644 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,615 They said they've never had more viewer complaints. 645 00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:34,950 Controversial and loving it. 646 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,587 - Oh. - Squad, I want to apologize. 647 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,923 I have been acting as though nothing mattered 648 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,457 except my pursuit of justice, 649 00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:43,892 but seeing my people in danger today 650 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,961 made me realize I was being short-sighted. 651 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,796 I do give a hoot. 652 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,564 I give a hoot about all of you. 653 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:50,732 Are we gonna keep saying "hoots"? Is this forever? 654 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:51,934 - I pray not. - I'm gonna keep 655 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,435 pushing back against John Kelly, 656 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,437 - but not at your expense. - Thank you, sir, 657 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,772 and we're going to stop 658 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,407 bickering with the upstairs people. 659 00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,475 No, Amy. We're all upstairs people now. 660 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,678 Thanks, Terry. 661 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,091 Mmkay. I clearly missed 662 00:20:04,092 --> 00:20:05,385 a whole thing there. 663 00:20:05,894 --> 00:20:07,171 Hey, man. I just want to say 664 00:20:07,195 --> 00:20:08,773 I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. 665 00:20:08,797 --> 00:20:10,274 I was wrong about Hitchcock and Scully. 666 00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:12,677 No, you were right. I am too trusting sometimes. 667 00:20:12,701 --> 00:20:14,579 I did a little digging on Dragomir. 668 00:20:14,603 --> 00:20:16,881 Turns out, he's not 15. He's... 669 00:20:16,905 --> 00:20:18,182 - 103. - 34. 670 00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:19,717 But the orphanage confirmed 671 00:20:19,741 --> 00:20:21,752 he is actually Nikolaj's half-brother. 672 00:20:21,776 --> 00:20:23,221 Anyway, we're taking it slow. 673 00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:24,755 In a few months, he'll come out to visit. 674 00:20:24,779 --> 00:20:26,624 Hey, thanks for having our back today. 675 00:20:26,648 --> 00:20:28,192 These are from the old studs of the Nine-Nine 676 00:20:28,216 --> 00:20:30,127 - to the new studs. - Aww. 677 00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:31,796 - Nice. - Nice. 678 00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,097 Well, I think they drank out of these. 679 00:20:33,121 --> 00:20:34,131 - They're half-empty. - Definitely. 680 00:20:34,155 --> 00:20:35,199 Hitchcock's contact lens 681 00:20:35,223 --> 00:20:36,634 is floating in mine, 682 00:20:36,658 --> 00:20:38,035 which once again begs the question, 683 00:20:38,059 --> 00:20:39,804 what happened to those guys? 684 00:20:39,828 --> 00:20:42,273 I mean, when did it all fall apart? 685 00:20:42,297 --> 00:20:43,941 Hey, Donna, just want to make sure 686 00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,811 you're okay here working at... Wing Slutz. 687 00:20:46,835 --> 00:20:48,279 Yeah. It's a good job, 688 00:20:48,303 --> 00:20:49,814 and I'm excited about my new life. 689 00:20:49,838 --> 00:20:51,082 - Thanks. - Our pleas. 690 00:20:51,106 --> 00:20:52,583 Well, we're gonna go hit the gym 691 00:20:52,607 --> 00:20:54,118 - for the second time today. - Wait. 692 00:20:54,142 --> 00:20:57,154 You need some protein to fuel those hard bodies. 693 00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:59,223 - It's on me. - Ah, what the heck. 694 00:20:59,247 --> 00:21:03,160 One wing can't hurt. 695 00:21:03,184 --> 00:21:04,962 [Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" playing 696 00:21:21,644 --> 00:21:27,244 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.