- sync and corrections by Mr. C - - www.addic7ed.com -
I want this Vegas stadium on a par with Jerry's World.
Wait up, now. You think you'd want us outdoing AT&T Stadium?
Growth is what's best for the league.
We couldn't agree more.
We need to go on the offensive and expand our territory,
create monuments that go beyond football
and show working-class families a great time.
While also appealing to those with deep pockets.
Imagine... a gourmet food court
featuring the world's greatest chefs,
craft cocktail bars, luxury boxes
suspended over the stadium and field, and...
Wow! Right?
I gotta tell you, I talked to the Raiders, and they're open for business.
They're ready.
Owners' meeting is around the corner.
I'll just load the fellas up on Johnnie Blue and push this thing through.
It takes three quarters, right?
Yeah. Do you think you can get that?
- Hell, son, I might get all four. - Ho-ho!
What about you, Bret?
What are you bringing to the party?
- Well, as Spencer just said... - We know what Spencer said.
We just wanna know what you're bringing.
Wayne, together, we are gonna bring the Raiders.
- Oh. - Yeah.
Come on, man.
And how many conversations has Bret had with the Raiders?
When you're ready, gentlemen.
I play golf with the owner.
This one's on the house.
You guys really showed us something tonight.
- I got a tingle in my pants. - Ah.
Surprisingly, that's a good thing.
There's a lot of big ideas floating around,
but I really think we should drill down on something solid.
Sure.
Yeah, this thing's gonna cost a fortune.
So, Wayne, what are you thinking about kicking in to get the ball rolling?
Let's see.
I've got a number in my head.
It's round...
like...
a zero.
I could've sworn you said, "Like a zero."
Yeah.
- Like, a lot of zeros? - No.
Just one big, fat fucking zero.
I've had a long week.
I'm not in the mood for this shit, Wayne. Come on.
I'm not gonna spend my money
when someone else would be stupid enough to spend theirs.
You just accused Anderson of bringing nothing to the table and...
He brings the Hastings brand,
which is far more valuable than dollars.
She's right. After all, I am the city of Las Vegas.
Hey!
Aw, come on.
Great.
Well, we still got no land and no money.
I'm starting to really fucking hate that guy.
- Ugh. - Spencer!
Shit.
Candace.
What a coincidence.
Was that, uh, Wayne Hastings?
Yeah. Do you know him?
Just by reputation.
I'm Joe. Hi.
Candace Brewer with the league office.
- Oh, charmed. - Gotta get inside.
I have a meet with the Cowboys' brass.
My liver is already seizing up.
- You two have a good night. - Okay.
What does he want now?
I gotta go in early
and recalculate the salary cap again.
- You just got home an hour ago. - It's Siefert.
He's pissed off me and Berg agree about Kisan Teague.
- He won't let it go. - You have to get them on the same page.
I've been trying to for weeks.
You got any fresh ideas, let's hear them.
How about we invite them over for a home-cooked meal?
- A dinner party? - Yeah. I can make my famous brisket.
We'll fill their bellies, get them tanked,
give them a couple of laughs.
Then, when their defenses are down,
you can make them see eye to eye.
I don't know, baby.
Ego-driven men are easy to sway.
- Oh, you think, huh? - Uh-huh.
- Like right now. - Mm.
If I told you I bought those Gucci heels on Zappos this morning,
you probably wouldn't even have a problem with it.
I ain't got no problem, baby.
I mean, a lady gotta have her footwear, right?
Wait a minute.
Are you suggesting that I jack these men off?
What?
Mm.
Well, good evening, ladies. How may I help you?
We're here about the mites.
You know, I don't know. There must be some mistake.
I don't have mites.
We think you might.
Hi, I'm Justine.
Hi, I'm Susan.
- What's your name? - Joe, Joseph Krutel.
Oh, hi.
This is the most fucked-up thing I've ever seen.
What?
Wow!
These feel so real.
Technology!
Oh, God. Come here, come here.
- I'm not done yet. - You're not done?
Okay.
Come up here. Fuck me.
Come here.
I'm so dehydrated.
Too much salt.
Too much... excuse me?
No, no, no. Not you, the steak.
- Yeah. - The steak? Okay.
- How about no more talking? - Okay.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I gotta pee.
Yeah. You don't go anywhere,
'cause big daddy's gonna be right back.
I thought you said you were dehydrated.
Hey, buddy.
Come on, Spency.
You're a sexy motherfucker.
You know what you're gonna do?
You're gonna go back in there
and you're gonna get your fuck on.
Let's do this.
- All good in Tinkle Town? - We are good to go.
Here I fucking come, all right?
What the fuck went wrong tonight?
You're asking me now?
Yeah, yeah. I know, it's fucked up.
I gotta ask you now. I can't get it off my fucking mind.
Tell me.
Well, to be honest, I haven't seen Wayne
this stoked on a project in a long time.
He's bought in.
There's three guys worth nearly $5 billion
and no one wants to write a fucking check?
Yeah, that's classic Wayne.
I don't think he's spent a dollar of his cash
in the last five projects we've done together.
Mm-hmm. You travel with him a lot?
- On big jobs. - Uh-huh.
Right, like he really needs the extra support from you.
No, it's because I blow him on his private jet.
Fuck, I wasn't saying that. Jesus...
Come to think of it, that's the only reason why I have the job.
Chloe, God, take it easy. What the fuck?
Well, then don't deflect your shit on me and Wayne.
I'm not.
I'm just saying you're amazing and you're beautiful.
Who wouldn't want to sleep with you?
That is a good fucking question, Spencer.
Hey, Rick.
I wanted to punch my fair share of shitty teenagers, man,
but I never followed through.
It's called restraint.
That kid scared the hell out of me, Spence.
- Never scare a brother. - You're lucky they didn't press charges.
Well, me and the parents are cool.
Once the cops got ahold of the family, we straightened it all out.
I'm gonna fly the family to Foxborough for the Dolphins game.
What the fuck were you doing in the neighbors' house, anyway?
Man, I got a lot on my mind, Spence.
Okay.
Baby mama took off when I tried to step up.
No new fucking deal, right?
And my teammates freezing me out, so what the...
Dropping $2 million at the craps table in Vegas.
Vegas. You're the one who brought me to Vegas.
Yeah, to duck your problems, man, not make them worse.
Didn't work out so hot, did it?
You might wanna reconsider moving the franchise there.
Hey, that deal's gonna get your five million back.
Is it really worth ripping the team away from Oakland?
Especially now that they're competitive
for the first time in, like, forever?
Some might question where your priorities lie.
I was in an epic session with my girl when you called me.
She was begging me not to leave, but I'm here.
For you.
How epic?
Epic.
Look, man... look, I'm... I appreciate you coming down.
You're always there for me, all right?
Don't sweat the debt. I know you're good for it.
Damn right I am. Come on.
Had my buddy Todd, here, mock us up a simulation.
How'd that one I sent you yesterday work out?
- Pretty hot, right? - Yeah, it was very impressive.
You know, specifically the... the technology...
- Right. - aspect.
It wasn't sexual. What?
You was gettin' jiggy on your couch last night, Joseph?
Just put your fucking headset on, huh?
- Jesus. - Wow.
Nothing but business, man.
Wow.
Oh, shit, those are big fucking linebackers.
I always wanted to know what it was like to play quarterback.
Shit, I'm going Cam Newton on these motherfuckers.
Holy shit, they're bigger than normal line...
Hut!
Fuck this!
Ah! Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh, fuck!
Fuck you. Fuck you.
No way.
Whoo!
- No way. - Hoo-hoo!
- Oh, fuck. - That's six, baby.
- Yo. - Fuck!
Unh! Unh! Touchdown. Have some. Hoo!
Yo, man, you did your thing on these, man.
- We are revolutionizing the game. - Yeah.
Cannabinoids were a great cause, Vern, but weed is weed, you know?
Endorsing any product tied to it is gonna put your money at risk.
If you get suspended, it's gonna cost you tens of millions of dollars.
And if you get cut, fuck it, it's gonna cost you way more.
Yeah, we could have just as much impact
on the future of football with this VR thing, man.
Yeah, this is changing the way people prepare and play.
Everyone's gonna want a piece of this technology.
And I got you the biggest slice.
You'll be on every billboard, poster, and commercial we got.
See, that's what the hell I'm talking about, Toddy.
- Okay, I'm in. - Yeah!
Is it... um, now, can we each get a sex tape like Joe?
Good point.
- Hello? - Hi, Mr. Siefert.
It's Julie Greane, Charles' wife.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm so sorry about this FaceTime.
- I hit the wrong button. - Happens to me all the time.
Well, the reason I was calling
is I wanted to invite you to dinner at our house tonight.
Oh, well, that's kind of you, Ms. Greane,
but I'm really buried at work these days.
Oh, come on, I know you're mad busy,
but a hard-working man needs to eat.
Plus, Charles has been singing your praises all year
and I need to meet this man he holds in such high regard.
Plus, my beef brisket is no joke.
Now, don't go boasting about some brisket if you can't back it up.
A Southern man has a palate for such things.
Well, then, I guess you gonna have to get
your behind over here at 7:00 and find out for yourself.
I'll see you then.
Bye.
Bret, we're so close, man.
We got Bossman's gonna deliver the owners
and Wayne's already fully committed.
No, he needs to be committed,
that walking pile of oozing jism.
Until he starts thinking practically and provides land for parking,
for a practice facility, and hotel space for real fans,
then how the fuck am I supposed to take anything he says seriously?
Craft cocktails and gourmet food? What the fuck?
What does he think this is, fucking polo?
Bret, he's fucking with us.
Well, frankly, I don't have a need
for either one of those pompous pricks.
Okay, well, we can't pull out now.
Coming from a 42-year-old man who's childless,
I'm surprised to hear you say that.
Hey, that's none of your fucking business.
You can mock what I do in here all you want,
but you don't know shit about me outside these fucking walls.
Touchy.
Let's do this, okay?
Let's plant our ASM flag right in Wayne's ass.
A casino, Spencer... that was my original goal.
To crack the casino business.
That's why I chased after Wayne's jizz-mo father all those years.
The idea of moving a football franchise to Las Vegas
has been one giant circle jerk right from the start.
And given your track record, I'm guessing the league would rather have
the face of the devil on this deal than you.
I've been smeared before, and let me tell you something,
you get over that shit pretty quickly.
No one else has been able to make this deal happen, Spencer.
What makes you think you can?
Because I got you.
Wayne's treating you like a second-class businessman
when we both know that you have the reach to raise the money.
But you can't run around here acting all butthurt
just because he insulted your integrity.
Fuck him.
He only said that because he doesn't have any.
You feel me?
Yeah, I... I feel you.
I mean, I feel you.
What do you mean? Do I understand?
Yeah, I... I understand.
My jive game's a little weak.
Okay, well, it's getting better.
Okay.
100.
100. Harder.
Practice hurt, dawg.
- Come get you some. - Mm.
- Every practice makes perfect. - Okay, okay.
Can I help you?
You can piss in this cup for me.
- You want me to sign it first? - The league sent me.
Medical director wants to test for marijuana.
I don't smoke marijuana.
Then that's what I'm here to prove.
And who the fuck is this?
The piss man.
Unannounced?
League's supposed to give us some kind of heads up.
This is your heads up.
If you don't comply, it's considered a fail.
Okay. Well, then, uh, just give us, you know,
15 minutes, you know, to tidy up
'cause the housekeeper on vacay.
You know how that is.
We'll be right back. Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Oh, shit.
Don't let him see nothing, shh.
Behind your shelf.
- He's here right now. - God damn it.
You know, the CBA is supposed to give us 24 hours' notice.
It's no big deal. I ain't been smoking, just taking cannabinoids.
Vernon, it is a big deal.
Your test is gonna come back positive.
- Do you understand? - But I ain't been getting high.
- It's for my recovery. - It doesn't matter.
Okay, I want you to listen to me, Vernon.
I want you to stall him and do not give that motherfucker
one drop of your piss until you hear from me.
- Do you understand? - Okay, Spence.
Fuck!
What the fuck?
Sizz, listen,
the intimidation thing might work on the field,
but I'm your financial manager, not Andy fucking Dalton.
You are not selling your Apple stock
because you had a bad Garden of Eden dream.
That's ridiculous.
Look, I'm gonna rip your fucking dick off
and shove it up your fucking ass, motherfucker!
Do what the fuck I tell you!
My dreams got meaning, bitch!
Oh. All right,
we'll get that transition going right away, Mr. Suggs.
Thank you so much for calling.
How's Sizz?
His dreams have meaning.
What's up?
Piss man's at Vernon's house.
But I thought Bossman was cool.
It's not the team, it's the fucking league.
We just severed ties with High Powered.
I made this great investment deal
with this virtual reality company.
This fucking technology is incredible.
They mocked me up this three-way
with me and two Margot Robbies.
Which reminds me, by the way, I'll be leaving work early today.
You know what? Don't give a shit about that right now.
Is this a tier one company you're telling me about?
Yeah, yeah. The kid's a genius.
I've never seen anything like that.
How long do you think it'll take him to mock up a simulation?
Depends on what you want. I don't know.
Uh, two, three days if you're in a hurry.
Okay, great. Can you get a meeting today?
- I got a job for him. - Yeah, sure.
What's this got to do with Vern's situation?
It doesn't.
Virginia, call Candace Brewer and tell her I wanna talk to her right fucking now.
I'm on it. And I'll be sure not to use those exact words.
- Okay, right here, right here.
- Charles, you lost? - No.
I just came down to invite you over to the house tonight for dinner.
Really? What's the occasion?
The occasion is to get you and Siefert together and squash the beef
and hopefully get Kisan Teague in our backfield.
- Really? - Yeah.
You come down here, you interrupt my workout,
trying to get me to come hang out with my sworn enemy?
Really? That's what you want me doing?
Sorry, Freddie.
Look, man, just trust me on this one.
My wife's cooking, it's got magical powers.
Changed my mind about all sorts of things,
from marriage and fatherhood, retirement.
You remember when I was messed up about retirement?
- Uh-huh. - Dieting.
Dieting?
- It's not working. - It's not working, buddy.
Yeah, you come over and eat that brisket, you'll find out why.
Charles, I will gladly get down on my knees
and eat human shit to sign Kisan,
but you and me both know Siefert, he don't leave his office
and I know my presence ain't the main draw.
You don't worry about that, all right? I got a secret weapon.
- Bah! - Eh!
Glass number six always does it.
I don't know, man.
I was pretty drained after my workout.
Piss is my business, guys.
Six is the max anyone can hold out.
How does someone get into the piss business?
I mean, if you don't mind me asking.
Yeah, seems kind of fucked up staring at dongs all day.
Quit stalling and break out the rod and tackle.
Dang.
I know what you're thinking... big man, little dick?
I've seen all shapes and sizes, so.
I'm a grower, not a shower.
Yeah, Little Vern only comes out his shell for the ladies.
I make no judgments. Produce the sample, please.
Some of that topline Bordeaux for you.
A little holdover from the wedding.
A nice little gift we never got to use.
I'm gonna say this while your lovely wife is in the other room.
I don't like being ambushed.
Well, I don't like having my OC fired behind my back.
Well, I don't like you benching our most promising prospect.
Would that be the prospect you stole credit for from Charles?
Come on, guys.
We're all on the same team now.
Let's put that stuff behind us. Where is my wife?
- Hey, there she is. - Hi! Here it is, guys.
Thanks for the wine, hon.
Off to a fast start. I like that.
All right, guys, let's say some grace.
Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts,
which we are about to receive from Thy bounty.
- Through Christ, our Lord. Amen. - Amen.
And, sweet baby Jesus, please shine thy grace on these two proud, strong men,
and light the path to forgiveness, understanding, and love.
- Amen. - Amen.
Y'all in for a treat now.
Mm! That's terrific!
Thank you. Thank you, Coach.
You didn't say "amen," Coach.
- Amen. - That doesn't count.
You already started eating.
It's disrespectful to our host.
Oh, no, I don't mind.
We only go to church on the holidays,
so it's all good.
Can I get an amen, Berg?
Who are you, Billy fucking Graham?
Hmm?
Amen. There. You got two.
- I want you to mean it. - I can't mean it.
I can only say it. A-fucking-men.
- There. You happy? - Hey, that's enough.
You're a disgrace, Berg.
You haven't touched your food, Larry.
Coach, don't leave. We'll try to work it out.
- I'm not gonna leave, Charles. - Yeah, get your ass home.
- Get outta here. - Get up.
- Come on. - What you gonna do, Berg?
- What do you wanna... - Bah! Huh?
- Oh! - How about this?
- Have another brisket! - Oh, my God!
How's that for an amen?
- Can I get an amen? - Sweet baby Jesus!
Wait! Siefert, stop!
Yo, you guys are better than this!
Oh, Tim will set the screen pass.
There's something going on on your side.
- You look pretty good, man. - Look out, number 18
is rushing up the field and he is brought down from behind.
with a challenging one-handed grab, #18.
Beautiful catch by Ricky Jerret.
Perfect timing.
Went up there with one hand.
Not only an amazing catch, but he took the hit
and he held on to the football.
Ricky Jerret.
First season with the Patriots, proving himself.
What a down.
You know, it's in complete violation of his player rights
and we could easily just call the NFLPA.
The piss man left several messages that were never returned.
Had no choice but to show up at his door.
You know that's not true.
You know, it's a shame to see a good guy make such bad decisions.
He didn't even know that taking CBDs was against the rules.
- Come on. - Sometimes mistakes need to be punished
to prevent them from happening again.
Okay, we have completely severed ties with that company.
The truth is Vernon doesn't even smoke weed.
Then he has nothing to be worried about going forward.
God damn, you know how fucking pissed
the Cowboys are gonna be at this?
Oh, I've spoken with Bossman.
He knows I'm just enforcing league policy.
And quite frankly, taking a meeting with you
about Littelfield's drug test is beneath my pay grade.
But leveraging my clients against my Vegas deal isn't?
Now you sound like a conspiracy theorist, Spencer.
Why don't you get back to doing your job?
The job that we and the NFLPA approved you to do,
which is managing players' finances,
not facilitating a billion-dollar
stadium deal and franchise move.
Okay...
if I stop, you're gonna call off Vernon's test?
It's too late for that.
But when his test inevitably comes back positive,
whether he's been pulling bong rips or taking CBDs,
I will give him the minimum Stage Two suspension of four games.
Four fucking games? Give me a fucking break.
I could just as easily bump it up to Stage Three and make it 10,
or a whole season.
But we're not monsters.
We just like to keep our house in order.
Okay.
Well, thank you for your time, Candace.
Any time.
Oh...
and I sure hope everything's all right with Ricky Jerret.
Ricky's good.
That's not what I heard.
I sure hope nothing new ends up landing on my desk.
I am a busy lady, you know?
These were raging class V rapids.
The foaming waters rushed us down the canyon
like a goddamn tsunami.
That sounds fun.
My granny used to take me tubing.
You guys seen my shades?
No, man. Now, why don't you keep looking?
Check the fridge. That's where you spend a lot of your time.
You ain't gotta be rude about it.
My bitches.
Hey, yo, Spence, man, what's up?
Your boy's bladder is about to explode.
Yeah, go ahead and give him the sample.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, we got no fucking choice.
Tell him to give the sample now.
Yo, Vern, Spencer said go ahead and piss, man.
Okay, I'll try.
Oh, shit.
Impressive, considering what you're working with.
Try to get some in the cup.
Do I wanna lick whipped cream off your tits?
You bet I do, Margot.
Oh, fuck.
Jesus.
God damn it.
This better be important.
What's going on?
Hey, listen, about tomorrow, maybe we should take a few more days.
I gotta know what the risk is before moving forward.
What? No. No fucking way.
The simulation is complete.
Our boy's showing up at 9:00 a.m. sharp.
Listen, I just need another day or two, that's it.
Don't you fucking do this! Don't do this.
I have been busting my ass so you could chase this stadium deal.
Now is not the time for cold feet, okay?
Train's left the station. Enjoy the ride.
Fuck.
- Can he hear us with that thing on? - No.
Good.
Soak it up, you sorry sack of shit.
Well?
Now that's the kind of spectacle and vision we're talking about.
Great, Wayne. We're really glad that you're impressed.
Yeah, so, why don't you give us the 400 acres
and we will go out and raise the money?
Yeah, Anderson's got his list of contacts ready to rock and roll.
I'm gonna cut you a check for 100 million
so other investors know we're serious.
And I've already got the perfect location in mind.
600 beautiful acres.
But if it's gonna have my name on it,
it's gotta be the most beautiful
and luxurious stadium ever built.
Wayneville.
A place where dreams come true.
Right.
- Yeah, yeah. - All right.
Ah...
Wait till he finds out I'm changing the name to Doucheville.
I'm a Huge Fucking Douchebag Stadium.
"Yeah, I'm a ballbag.
Why don't you come and cock waffle my..."
Cock waffle?
What the fuck's a cock waffle?
* CRÉDITOS*