1
00:00:03,648 --> 00:00:05,379
Hey, Charlie, there you are.

2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,506
You forgot your hat in the dining room.

3
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,372
I don't think I've ever
seen you without it.

4
00:00:09,373 --> 00:00:12,295
Thought maybe you had
a Mohawk under there.

5
00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:14,922
No, I didn't forget it.

6
00:00:14,923 --> 00:00:17,119
I'm courting a woman.

7
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,408
I never wear my hat when I'm courting.

8
00:00:19,727 --> 00:00:20,959
How do I look?

9
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,339
Cool?

10
00:00:23,013 --> 00:00:25,150
So, tell me about this woman.

11
00:00:25,983 --> 00:00:27,489
Well, her name is Kathleen.

12
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:29,905
She hosts a group here
three times a week.

13
00:00:30,821 --> 00:00:33,672
And the moment I saw
her, I fell hard, man.

14
00:00:33,673 --> 00:00:35,557
Wow, Charlie, I've never
heard you talk like this.

15
00:00:35,558 --> 00:00:37,226
It's so sweet.

16
00:00:37,227 --> 00:00:38,602
So, what are you doing?

17
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:40,271
You meeting up for lunch,
you going to a movie...?

18
00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,481
Oh, God, no.

19
00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:44,066
We've never talked.

20
00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:47,152
No, that happens in six to
eight weeks. I have a system.

21
00:00:47,153 --> 00:00:49,154
Right now we're in phase two.

22
00:00:49,155 --> 00:00:52,074
It's what the Mossad calls
"Intelligence Gathering."

23
00:00:52,075 --> 00:00:53,825
Okay, see, the word "Mossad"

24
00:00:53,826 --> 00:00:56,245
should never factor
into your dating game.

25
00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:59,164
I got a crazy idea... Why
don't you just talk to her?

26
00:00:59,165 --> 00:01:00,584
Talk to her?

27
00:01:00,585 --> 00:01:02,701
Margaret, can you be
serious for a second?

28
00:01:02,702 --> 00:01:05,036
This is my life we're talking about.

29
00:01:05,037 --> 00:01:07,156
What is the issue?

30
00:01:07,157 --> 00:01:09,853
Well, I haven't dated in
forever, and I got to go slow.

31
00:01:09,854 --> 00:01:12,210
After six divorces, you start to think

32
00:01:12,211 --> 00:01:14,879
maybe you're bad with women.

33
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,683
- Thank you.
- Oh, there she is.

34
00:01:17,684 --> 00:01:20,185
Wow, Charlie,

35
00:01:20,186 --> 00:01:22,146
- she's beautiful.
- Mm-hmm.

36
00:01:22,147 --> 00:01:25,649
You sure you don't want to set
your sights a little lower?

37
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:29,060
How about this cute gal in
here with the eye patch?

38
00:01:29,061 --> 00:01:32,990
Uh, no, I don't like her politics.

39
00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,326
Kathleen's the one.

40
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:36,994
Well, then I got a new system for you.

41
00:01:36,995 --> 00:01:38,162
- Turn around.
- What?

42
00:01:38,163 --> 00:01:40,038
- Get over there.
- Wh...

43
00:01:40,039 --> 00:01:41,290
Oh!

44
00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:43,742
Hello. Um, hi.

45
00:01:43,743 --> 00:01:45,460
Are you here for the group?

46
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,298
Um, I'll answer that question
in six to eight weeks.

47
00:01:49,299 --> 00:01:50,507
Oh, my God.

48
00:01:51,563 --> 00:01:52,679
Oh.

49
00:01:53,442 --> 00:01:56,094
Knew we should've started
with the eye patch gal.

50
00:02:14,961 --> 00:02:20,961
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

51
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,293
Um, Allison?

52
00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:27,033
I just wanted to extend a thank-you

53
00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:30,663
for asking me to be the anchor
of the Shady Meadows News.

54
00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:33,124
Mm. I don't know if I'd call it news.

55
00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:35,627
It's just reading the
daily announcements.

56
00:02:35,628 --> 00:02:38,347
So I assume that you
realized that the broadcast

57
00:02:38,348 --> 00:02:41,019
needed a jolt of my gravitas?

58
00:02:42,134 --> 00:02:45,828
No, I realized the guy
who used to do it died.

59
00:02:46,483 --> 00:02:48,193
Go away, Allison.

60
00:02:52,461 --> 00:02:56,198
Wow, the Shady Meadows News.

61
00:02:56,199 --> 00:02:59,201
Hank, have you been practicing
your anchorman voice?

62
00:02:59,202 --> 00:03:00,744
Check this out.

63
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:03,872
You've been watching
the Shady Meadows News

64
00:03:03,873 --> 00:03:06,157
with Hank Henderson. Good night.

65
00:03:06,158 --> 00:03:10,549
And to my Spanish-speaking
viewers, buenas... night.

66
00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:15,050
You guys, Margaret made
me talk to a woman.

67
00:03:15,051 --> 00:03:17,886
And get this, I had
just started phase two.

68
00:03:17,887 --> 00:03:20,672
What? That is crazy.

69
00:03:20,673 --> 00:03:23,037
Phase two usually lasts
six to eight weeks.

70
00:03:23,038 --> 00:03:25,009
Wait a minute, you guys
know about all this

71
00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,085
crazy phase stuff and you
haven't tried to help him?

72
00:03:27,086 --> 00:03:29,606
Girl, we've been trying
to help him for years.

73
00:03:29,607 --> 00:03:32,150
Yeah, I mean, if a couple of
primo studs like me and Sid

74
00:03:32,151 --> 00:03:33,735
can't help him out, nobody can.

75
00:03:33,736 --> 00:03:36,280
"Primo studs"?

76
00:03:36,281 --> 00:03:37,826
You two?

77
00:03:38,658 --> 00:03:40,951
We're just gonna let that go by?

78
00:03:43,529 --> 00:03:45,029
Okay.

79
00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:46,811
Maybe I'm just hopeless.

80
00:03:46,812 --> 00:03:48,889
Oh, Charlie, you're not hopeless.

81
00:03:48,890 --> 00:03:52,087
You're just getting advice
from people who are hopeless.

82
00:03:52,088 --> 00:03:53,779
And do you think you could do better?

83
00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:56,207
Like you're some great wingwoman?

84
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:57,759
Hell yes, I am.

85
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,344
If Charlie takes my advice,

86
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:01,305
he'll be with Kathleen
by the end of the week.

87
00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:04,099
Wow, 'cause I got a great
first date planned.

88
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,563
We're gonna help my buddy Dave move.

89
00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:10,225
End of the month.

90
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,631
Everyone, take a seat, please.

91
00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:20,282
Oh, happy to see a
couple new faces here.

92
00:04:20,283 --> 00:04:23,037
That's me. She's talking about my face.

93
00:04:23,038 --> 00:04:24,246
Yeah. You see?

94
00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:26,681
- This is all courtesy of your wingwoman.
- Yeah.

95
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:29,166
So, let's just pretend like
we belong in her group,

96
00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:30,792
and then when it's over,
we'll introduce ourselves

97
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,336
- and I'll talk you up.
- Okay.

98
00:04:32,337 --> 00:04:33,837
What do you think this
group is about, anyway?

99
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,714
Oh, I hope it's not AA

100
00:04:35,715 --> 00:04:37,508
'cause I still got my lunch buzz going.

101
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,738
Fingers crossed it's sex addicts.

102
00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:51,160
Jesse, do you want to go first?

103
00:04:51,161 --> 00:04:54,583
H-Hi. I-I'm Jesse.

104
00:04:54,584 --> 00:04:56,568
- Yeah.
- It's been a tough couple of years.

105
00:04:56,569 --> 00:04:58,362
I-I still miss my wife.

106
00:04:58,363 --> 00:05:00,238
Perfect. I think this is some kind of

107
00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:02,699
a sad-sack singles group.

108
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:05,369
Aw... That's okay.

109
00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:08,680
Everyone deals with the death
of a spouse differently.

110
00:05:14,255 --> 00:05:16,550
They could still be sex addicts.

111
00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:20,675
Thanks for letting me tag along, buddy.

112
00:05:20,676 --> 00:05:22,928
I've always had an
interest in show business.

113
00:05:22,929 --> 00:05:26,181
It's gonna be fun to finally
get a peek behind the curtain.

114
00:05:26,182 --> 00:05:29,104
Well, peek away, Sidney. This is it!

115
00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:31,940
The big time.

116
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,858
Oh, uh, Allison?

117
00:05:36,859 --> 00:05:39,361
Just so I can get an
idea of our audience,

118
00:05:39,362 --> 00:05:40,979
what sort of ratings are you, uh,

119
00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:42,614
looking for in our key demographic?

120
00:05:42,615 --> 00:05:45,409
Well, this is closed-circuit
TV in a retirement community.

121
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:48,412
There are baby monitors
reaching a bigger audience.

122
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,824
Look at this.

123
00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:55,827
Oh, feels good.

124
00:05:55,828 --> 00:05:57,829
Oh, yeah.

125
00:05:57,830 --> 00:05:59,423
Well, let me just...

126
00:05:59,424 --> 00:06:01,466
...do my vocal... my vocal warm-ups.

127
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:03,385
Bi-bim-bap.

128
00:06:03,386 --> 00:06:05,387
Bi-bi-bim-bap.

129
00:06:05,388 --> 00:06:09,467
I'll-I'll have the bi-bim-bap.

130
00:06:11,978 --> 00:06:14,312
All good on this end. Y'all
ready to rock and roll?

131
00:06:14,313 --> 00:06:15,435
Sure, Hank.

132
00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:17,107
We go live in three,

133
00:06:17,108 --> 00:06:19,623
two, one. Action.

134
00:06:24,423 --> 00:06:25,521
Hank.

135
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,304
Read the script.

136
00:06:29,629 --> 00:06:31,183
Read it out loud, Hank.

137
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,666
The, um, golf course is closed

138
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:36,418
due to the recent swan attacks.

139
00:06:36,419 --> 00:06:39,129
Our thoughts are with Ronnie
Sinclair for a speedy recovery.

140
00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:41,362
How is he so bad at this?

141
00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:42,674
All he has to do is read the menu,

142
00:06:42,675 --> 00:06:44,338
the events, and the death of the day.

143
00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:45,510
I know.

144
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,211
It's like, "There's pot roast

145
00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:49,848
"in the kitchen, square
dancing in the rec room,

146
00:06:49,849 --> 00:06:53,622
and Marilyn Bartlett is
in the ground." Boom!

147
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,272
Yeah. Exactly like that.

148
00:06:57,273 --> 00:06:58,723
You guys, don't forget about,

149
00:06:58,724 --> 00:07:01,726
uh, bingo Wednesday and...

150
00:07:03,027 --> 00:07:04,896
We still can't hear you, Hank.

151
00:07:04,897 --> 00:07:08,450
Um, this week, we got...

152
00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:11,703
We got Salisbury steak
this week in the kitchen.

153
00:07:11,704 --> 00:07:13,497
I like Salisbury steak

154
00:07:13,498 --> 00:07:15,589
'cause it's good.

155
00:07:17,183 --> 00:07:19,077
Um...

156
00:07:19,078 --> 00:07:20,979
This guy sucks!

157
00:07:22,816 --> 00:07:24,675
We got to get out of here.

158
00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:26,301
We do not have dead spouses.

159
00:07:26,302 --> 00:07:28,784
I certainly wish my ex was
dead, but this is wrong.

160
00:07:28,785 --> 00:07:29,804
No, no, no, no, no.

161
00:07:29,805 --> 00:07:31,682
This is amazing.

162
00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:34,851
I mean, I'm-I'm sitting next to Kathleen

163
00:07:34,852 --> 00:07:37,020
and she smells like cinnamon and dreams.

164
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,480
I mean, look at her, Margaret.

165
00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:40,357
She's an angel.

166
00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:42,837
My wife's an angel now, too.

167
00:07:43,707 --> 00:07:45,215
This guy gets it.

168
00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:49,183
Oh, do you want to share with us?

169
00:07:49,184 --> 00:07:51,076
He does not. He's good.

170
00:07:51,077 --> 00:07:53,122
He's not a sharer. Uh, next.

171
00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:55,074
This dude looks pretty sad.

172
00:07:57,941 --> 00:07:59,584
It's okay, sweetie.

173
00:08:00,171 --> 00:08:04,214
Remember, everyone,
this is a safe space.

174
00:08:04,215 --> 00:08:05,957
A sacred space.

175
00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:08,323
Do you hear that? Sacred. We got to go.

176
00:08:08,324 --> 00:08:11,113
No, she called me sweetie.

177
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,967
Don't you want to speak your truth?

178
00:08:15,968 --> 00:08:19,137
- So you can move forward?
- Mm.

179
00:08:19,138 --> 00:08:23,545
Um, the truth is I got a dead wife.

180
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,494
I'm gonna get my groove
back on today's broadcast.

181
00:08:33,495 --> 00:08:35,956
You know, I figured out
why I had my little, uh,

182
00:08:35,957 --> 00:08:38,626
issue yesterday. I wasn't
properly hydrated.

183
00:08:38,627 --> 00:08:41,420
Oh, Hank, you really think
it was a hydration issue

184
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,205
and not just stage fright?

185
00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:44,840
Stage fright? That's ridiculous.

186
00:08:44,841 --> 00:08:47,026
I just got to get my waters right.

187
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,679
Why did you tell her
you had a dead wife?

188
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,974
I panicked, okay? I blew it.

189
00:08:53,975 --> 00:08:57,219
Or did I? Hey, hear me out.

190
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,355
What if we killed one of my ex-wives?

191
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:02,691
I'm thinking of Joyce.
She's the slowest.

192
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,904
Y'all talking about killing wives?

193
00:09:06,404 --> 00:09:10,398
Well, I guess that wingwoman
thing isn't going so well.

194
00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:12,117
She did her best.

195
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,286
I mean, it's me she's dealing with here,

196
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,330
not a couple of primo
studs like you two.

197
00:09:16,331 --> 00:09:20,742
Okay, gonna have to flag the
"primo stud" thing right now.

198
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:23,045
Don't change the subject, Margaret.

199
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:26,558
Admit it, you tried to
be Charlie's wingwoman

200
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,050
and you failed.

201
00:09:28,051 --> 00:09:31,198
So say it: "I'm a red-headed failure."

202
00:09:31,199 --> 00:09:32,387
Say it!

203
00:09:33,113 --> 00:09:35,682
I am not a red-headed failure.

204
00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:37,699
This is "sparkling sherry."

205
00:09:40,248 --> 00:09:42,264
We're gonna get Kathleen for you,

206
00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:45,150
and we're gonna shut
up these primo studs.

207
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:48,103
Primo studs? Us?

208
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:50,923
How sweet of you, Margaret. Thank you.

209
00:09:58,232 --> 00:10:00,291
Ah...

210
00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:02,042
My levels are good.

211
00:10:02,043 --> 00:10:03,618
The Hank tank is full.

212
00:10:03,619 --> 00:10:05,954
Let's make some news!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

213
00:10:05,955 --> 00:10:07,839
What's going on, Allison?

214
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,508
Why they got two chairs at the desk?

215
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,843
And why does one of them have
three phone books on it?

216
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,566
They're for my bottom.

217
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:16,265
Surprise! We're gonna be cohosts.

218
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:17,766
Wait, what?

219
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:19,935
Is this 'cause of what
happened yesterday?

220
00:10:19,936 --> 00:10:23,188
I told you, that was a hydration issue.

221
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,523
I solved it!

222
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,401
You hear all that sloshing?

223
00:10:27,736 --> 00:10:30,315
Oh, I'm just here for emotional support.

224
00:10:30,316 --> 00:10:32,197
You're still the star, baby.

225
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,533
Yeah, well, why do I only got one line?

226
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,484
"Hi, I'm Hank Henderson.

227
00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:38,268
- Here's Sid."
- Ooh.

228
00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:40,655
Did I not cut that line?

229
00:10:40,656 --> 00:10:43,377
Maybe we could give him one more line.

230
00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:45,794
I don't want your pity lines!

231
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,379
This is an atrocity.

232
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,214
I gave birth to this baby,
and you're gonna let him

233
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,292
just steal it and raise it himself?

234
00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:53,835
You trying to Rumpelstiltskin my ass!

235
00:10:53,836 --> 00:10:56,471
And don't say, "Oh, no,
Hank, we not trying

236
00:10:56,472 --> 00:10:59,308
to Rumpelstiltskin your ass,"
'cause that sounds just like

237
00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:01,310
something Rumpelstiltskin would say!

238
00:11:01,311 --> 00:11:03,530
This is so predictable, Allison.

239
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:05,734
- That's why your show sucks.
- Hank, take a breath.

240
00:11:05,735 --> 00:11:07,441
Nah, I'm-a take a breath
'cause I want to take breath.

241
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:09,017
I ain't taking a breath just
'cause you told me to take

242
00:11:09,018 --> 00:11:11,436
a breath. I feel like taking a breath.

243
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:14,506
I'm walking, you
Rumpelstiltskin-ass suckers!

244
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,287
Yikes.

245
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:24,037
That was devastating to watch.

246
00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:25,584
I don't know

247
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:29,803
if I'll be even able to perform.

248
00:11:29,804 --> 00:11:31,465
Three, two, one.

249
00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:33,826
Good evening, Shady Meadows!

250
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,305
Elaine Jenkinson's left her dentures

251
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,265
in the dining hall today.

252
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,936
When asked for a comment, Elaine said,

253
00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:47,540
"Where's my teeth?"

254
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:53,278
Coming to this group is your only shot

255
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,947
at making a real
connection with Kathleen.

256
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,514
And in order to do that,
we have to make your lie

257
00:11:58,515 --> 00:12:00,035
emotionally true.

258
00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:01,870
I mean, this group is
about loss, Charlie.

259
00:12:01,871 --> 00:12:04,006
You've experienced loss, right?

260
00:12:05,062 --> 00:12:07,974
Well, I still can't find
the clicker for my Roku.

261
00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:10,964
Dig even deeper.

262
00:12:12,841 --> 00:12:14,633
I once had a dog.

263
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:18,936
And when that pooch died,
a part of me died, too.

264
00:12:18,937 --> 00:12:21,256
That is great.

265
00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:25,394
Okay. So, when you're talking
about your fake dead wife,

266
00:12:25,395 --> 00:12:28,480
be thinking about your real dead dog.

267
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,975
- Got it.
- Oh, and, uh, don't mention the Roku.

268
00:12:30,976 --> 00:12:32,022
- Got it.
- Yeah.

269
00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:33,101
Do or don't?

270
00:12:34,079 --> 00:12:35,171
Don't.

271
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,072
Got it.

272
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:39,700
And just to be clear, um,
it's the Roku remote.

273
00:12:39,701 --> 00:12:41,405
I have the Roku.

274
00:12:41,406 --> 00:12:43,846
That's the frustrating
part of this whole thing.

275
00:12:49,742 --> 00:12:53,218
Well, shall we all get started?

276
00:12:54,202 --> 00:12:58,447
Charlie, you were beginning
to share at the last session.

277
00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:00,676
- Mm-hmm.
- Would you like to keep going?

278
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,908
Okay. But it's...

279
00:13:04,893 --> 00:13:07,102
it's kind of hard because, um,

280
00:13:07,645 --> 00:13:09,730
- she was my best friend.
- Oh.

281
00:13:09,731 --> 00:13:12,807
- She had soulful eyes.
- Ah.

282
00:13:12,808 --> 00:13:14,234
Oh, gee.

283
00:13:14,235 --> 00:13:16,445
Great, big ears.

284
00:13:16,446 --> 00:13:18,214
Oh, dear.

285
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,858
And a tail that just wouldn't quit.

286
00:13:24,851 --> 00:13:28,141
Well, attraction is important.

287
00:13:28,765 --> 00:13:30,990
We used to love to play Frisbee.

288
00:13:30,991 --> 00:13:32,555
Oh.

289
00:13:32,556 --> 00:13:35,481
She'd always fall asleep
right between my legs.

290
00:13:42,969 --> 00:13:45,708
She chewed the hell out of our couch.

291
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:47,476
Well, after a hard day at the office,

292
00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:50,270
who hasn't chewed a couch? I mean,

293
00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:52,915
I mean, that's just called being human.

294
00:13:57,755 --> 00:14:00,631
What was her name?

295
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,991
Please let it be a human name.

296
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:05,094
Her name was Buttons.

297
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,746
Oh! Oh.

298
00:14:08,332 --> 00:14:10,767
It's okay. Let it out.

299
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:20,734
Yeah.

300
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:23,445
I still can't believe that
dog-wife story worked.

301
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,007
Especially after you told everybody

302
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:27,324
how she used to rub her
ass on the carpet.

303
00:14:28,397 --> 00:14:30,734
But, hey, it got you a date.

304
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:32,237
Yeah. I-Is it a date?

305
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,115
'Cause she said it was
follow-up therapy.

306
00:14:35,116 --> 00:14:37,742
Mm, any one-on-one conversation
can become a date.

307
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,577
- Okay.
- You just got to steer it away

308
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,863
from the grief stuff.
Try and keep it light.

309
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:44,149
Okay. I could talk about lasers.

310
00:14:48,272 --> 00:14:49,812
You know what, Charlie?

311
00:14:49,813 --> 00:14:53,865
If you want to talk about
lasers, you talk about lasers.

312
00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:57,147
All right? And, uh, just
remember, you're not a loser,

313
00:14:57,148 --> 00:14:58,263
you're a catch.

314
00:14:58,264 --> 00:14:59,639
And I got a backup plan

315
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,359
- if it starts to go south.
- Thank you.

316
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,720
Oh. Hi, Kathleen.

317
00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:07,522
- Hi.
- Thank you for coming.

318
00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:09,107
Of course.

319
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:12,610
You made a big breakthrough
in group this week,

320
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:14,612
and I'm-I'm proud of you.

321
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:16,656
Oh.

322
00:15:16,657 --> 00:15:20,285
Well, it's courtesy of the
hottest therapist I've ever met.

323
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,162
Sit down.

324
00:15:22,163 --> 00:15:24,556
Uh, okay.

325
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:32,172
Um, I brought some grief
pamphlets you might find useful.

326
00:15:32,173 --> 00:15:33,882
Uh-huh. Well, good news.

327
00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:35,508
- I don't need them.
- Oh!

328
00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:38,296
You're that good.

329
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:43,942
One of those pamphlets you just
tossed aside is about avoidance.

330
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,186
Are any of them about how beautiful

331
00:15:46,187 --> 00:15:48,821
you look in the afternoon sun?

332
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,815
I mean, not that I've been
watching you from afar.

333
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:52,901
I'm... that-that's what the Mossad does,

334
00:15:52,902 --> 00:15:54,319
but I would never...

335
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,780
Hey, Charlie!

336
00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:58,489
And, uh, and Kathleen, is it?

337
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,201
Uh, yes. You're in my grief group.

338
00:16:01,202 --> 00:16:03,995
I, uh, I happen to have
this freshly-opened bottle

339
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,216
- of champagne.
- Why?

340
00:16:07,408 --> 00:16:11,169
I was on my way to a boat christening.

341
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,120
- In Arizona?
- Yeah, well,

342
00:16:13,121 --> 00:16:15,757
they canceled it.

343
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:18,551
Anyway, so this, uh, this
hooch is up for grabs.

344
00:16:18,552 --> 00:16:20,890
Would you like some?

345
00:16:20,891 --> 00:16:23,081
- No, I think we're-we're good here.
- No, no, no, no.

346
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,419
Drink the champagne, Charlie. Enjoy.

347
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:29,189
Oh, that's...

348
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,401
Well, I-I don't usually drink champagne

349
00:16:34,402 --> 00:16:36,069
this early in the day.

350
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,281
Yeah. More of a whiskey in
the morning kind of gal?

351
00:16:38,282 --> 00:16:41,148
Charlie. You're funny.

352
00:16:41,149 --> 00:16:42,483
Really?

353
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,370
Well...

354
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:48,155
this is wildly inappropriate
for a therapy session,

355
00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:53,327
but would you like to
clink with your shrink?

356
00:16:53,328 --> 00:16:55,088
You like lasers?

357
00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:57,048
I do.

358
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,110
Sid, we need to talk.

359
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,868
I've been looking everywhere for you.

360
00:17:10,869 --> 00:17:12,580
Yeah, I've been trying
to keep a low profile.

361
00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:14,422
My show kind of blew up.

362
00:17:14,423 --> 00:17:18,278
Allison said tens of people watched.

363
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:21,671
So you think you got fans
now, after one show?

364
00:17:21,672 --> 00:17:25,827
Mr. Delacroix, will you sign
an autograph for my friend?

365
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:28,362
Sure. What's your friend's name, Dudley?

366
00:17:28,363 --> 00:17:30,091
Uh... uh, Dudley?

367
00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:33,701
So I assume you're gonna
want my autograph, too?

368
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:35,336
This is awkward.

369
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,465
I can't believe you
betrayed me like that.

370
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:39,841
When I walked out of that door,

371
00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:41,342
you should've been right behind me.

372
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:43,928
Well, I would've, but
there's one problem, Hank.

373
00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:46,621
I'm a friggin' newsman.

374
00:17:49,041 --> 00:17:51,887
In three, two, one.

375
00:17:51,888 --> 00:17:53,890
Hello, Shady Meadows!

376
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:04,822
You guys mind if I pop
on the old boob tube?

377
00:18:04,823 --> 00:18:07,735
- I never miss Sid's show.
- No, wait, wait.

378
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:09,287
Dudley. Dudley,

379
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:11,039
turn off the TV. Turn...

380
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,495
People are trying to
fall in love over here.

381
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,707
We're not done, Sid.

382
00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:18,969
Hank, we are on the air.

383
00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:20,379
Yeah, well, the only reason
why you're on the air

384
00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:22,014
is 'cause you stole my show.

385
00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:23,641
I deserve that chair

386
00:18:23,642 --> 00:18:25,768
and all of the respect
that comes with it.

387
00:18:25,769 --> 00:18:28,054
You could've had that respect, Hank.

388
00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:30,056
All you had to do was share it with me.

389
00:18:30,057 --> 00:18:34,944
But no, you have to always
be the center of attention.

390
00:18:34,945 --> 00:18:37,446
Here's a newsflash: you sucked.

391
00:18:37,447 --> 00:18:40,116
You were a flipping disaster.

392
00:18:40,117 --> 00:18:42,326
Oh, yeah? Well, Charlie
was a disaster, too,

393
00:18:42,327 --> 00:18:44,787
but Margaret didn't give
up on him. You know why?

394
00:18:44,788 --> 00:18:46,309
'Cause she's a good friend.

395
00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:49,378
Oh, you really want to use
Margaret as an example?

396
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:52,988
She's having Charlie pretend
to have a dead wife

397
00:18:52,989 --> 00:18:56,207
so he can bang a grief counselor!

398
00:19:12,677 --> 00:19:14,110
Sidney.

399
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,555
Hanklin.

400
00:19:16,806 --> 00:19:19,090
About our fight yesterday...

401
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,950
I'm listening.

402
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,812
Although I hate to admit
it, perhaps I did have

403
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:26,314
the tiniest case of stage fright.

404
00:19:26,315 --> 00:19:28,253
But you were better than me on camera.

405
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,247
Well, thank you.

406
00:19:30,248 --> 00:19:32,295
That's very big of you to say.

407
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:38,113
I think I probably did so well
because I drank so much water.

408
00:19:38,114 --> 00:19:40,082
I learned that from you.

409
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:41,496
You really mean that?

410
00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:43,432
Yes, I-I do.

411
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:47,477
Charlie.

412
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,479
- You're wearing your hat.
- Yeah.

413
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,482
So, I guess you're not, uh,
courting Kathleen anymore?

414
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,550
Did Sid and I screw that up for you?

415
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:58,913
Yeah. But I'm just as much to blame.

416
00:20:00,483 --> 00:20:03,326
Kathleen, what are you doing here?

417
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,304
Well, I told her this was all my idea,

418
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,605
and that you never would've
lied if it wasn't for me.

419
00:20:08,606 --> 00:20:10,628
He's-he's a real sweetheart.

420
00:20:10,629 --> 00:20:12,477
I know he is.

421
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:16,648
I had a feeling you were talking
about your dog in group,

422
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,613
but I didn't want to say
anything in case you really did

423
00:20:18,614 --> 00:20:20,828
have a dead wife named Buttons.

424
00:20:21,912 --> 00:20:24,123
My daddy's name was Marmaduke.

425
00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:31,855
Well, the truth is, I really like you.

426
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,090
And I'm sorry I lied,

427
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:37,997
and I'm just, I'm just not
good at this dating thing.

428
00:20:37,998 --> 00:20:40,388
Oh, I'm terrible at it.

429
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:44,008
That's why I started this grief
group, hoping to meet...

430
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,769
single guys.

431
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:50,348
Wow! This is great.

432
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,017
You are both super weird.

433
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:55,611
You're gonna have a lot to talk about.

434
00:20:55,612 --> 00:20:58,281
Maybe you should go for a walk?

435
00:20:58,282 --> 00:20:59,799
That's a fantastic idea.

436
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,285
Okay. I just got to grab my jacket.

437
00:21:02,286 --> 00:21:05,121
No, no. I got you. Here you go.

438
00:21:05,122 --> 00:21:06,915
Thanks.

439
00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:09,584
Um, Margaret, can you
hang onto this for me?

440
00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:11,419
Go get her, Charlie.

441
00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:13,089
Thank you, Margaret.

442
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:19,235
Well, it looks like I did it, boys.

443
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:22,096
And it, uh, it didn't
even take me a week.

444
00:21:22,097 --> 00:21:24,883
This just in, breaking news,

445
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:28,720
turns out Margaret isn't a
crappy wingwoman after all.

446
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,790
Questions still remain

447
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:34,594
as to why she's not helping
these two primo studs

448
00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:37,588
- get a little action.
- You guys are too much.

449
00:21:38,204 --> 00:21:40,414
We're serious, woman.
You got to get us laid.

450
00:21:40,415 --> 00:21:41,759
- Today!
- Oh!

451
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,220
Get up! Get to pimping, girl.

452
00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:50,221
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com