1
00:00:10,865 --> 00:00:13,162
Life's not fair.

2
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,422
It's not fair!

3
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,217
Hank, are you crying?

4
00:00:16,264 --> 00:00:19,098
I'm not crying. You're crying!

5
00:00:19,130 --> 00:00:20,800
Margaret, what's wrong?

6
00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:24,793
My friend Donna died, okay?

7
00:00:24,818 --> 00:00:26,497
- Oh. Aw.
- Oh, that's too bad.

8
00:00:26,522 --> 00:00:29,141
Worst part is my ex-wife's going
to that funeral, too.

9
00:00:29,174 --> 00:00:31,603
I haven't seen that she-devil
since our divorce.

10
00:00:31,628 --> 00:00:33,479
I can't even stand to hear her name.

11
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:34,512
You mean Lorraine?

12
00:00:34,546 --> 00:00:36,519
Damn it, Sid!

13
00:00:36,581 --> 00:00:37,782
I assume she's gonna be there

14
00:00:37,815 --> 00:00:41,386
with her great big fiancé, Reggie.

15
00:00:41,419 --> 00:00:43,435
All right, that's it. I'm not gonna go.

16
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,943
That's a good idea.
Seeing Lorraine and her new man

17
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,358
is the last thing you need.

18
00:00:47,391 --> 00:00:49,794
No, you absolutely have to go, Hank.

19
00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:53,165
Good point. You've got to go.

20
00:00:53,364 --> 00:00:55,533
The first time you see your ex
after you split

21
00:00:55,558 --> 00:00:57,165
is the Super Bowl
for winning the divorce.

22
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,392
Take it from me.

23
00:00:58,418 --> 00:01:00,065
Why? You won your divorce?

24
00:01:00,090 --> 00:01:02,220
No, I lost. Miserably.

25
00:01:02,254 --> 00:01:03,800
He was dropping our daughter off

26
00:01:03,825 --> 00:01:05,891
just as I was coming out
to get the paper,

27
00:01:05,924 --> 00:01:08,560
in my robe, fresh out of the shower.

28
00:01:08,593 --> 00:01:10,629
Bent over to pick up the paper.

29
00:01:10,662 --> 00:01:13,207
The wind blew my robe up.

30
00:01:13,394 --> 00:01:16,468
He's been calling me
Newspaper Butt ever since.

31
00:01:16,501 --> 00:01:19,070
Damn, girl. That's rough.

32
00:01:19,103 --> 00:01:20,566
- Tears.
- Yeah.

33
00:01:20,605 --> 00:01:22,163
You think that's bad...
there was a busload

34
00:01:22,188 --> 00:01:23,942
of third graders across the street.

35
00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:25,960
Now I'm a registered sex offender.

36
00:01:28,013 --> 00:01:30,208
Anyway, you absolutely have
to do this, Hank.

37
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:32,150
- You got to win this.
- How?

38
00:01:32,183 --> 00:01:34,652
Lorraine is engaged
to a former NFL player.

39
00:01:34,686 --> 00:01:36,422
I'm a former meter man.

40
00:01:36,454 --> 00:01:37,689
I will go with you.

41
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,311
I will be your hype man.

42
00:01:39,336 --> 00:01:40,983
It's all about convincing Lorraine

43
00:01:41,008 --> 00:01:42,702
that you are happier without her.

44
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:46,632
My job is to show her
how amazing your new life is.

45
00:01:46,665 --> 00:01:49,022
- Well, how you gonna do that?
- I'm gonna lie.

46
00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:51,470
I'm gonna lie my Newspaper Butt off.

47
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:53,706
Ooh, can Charlie and me come?
We love funerals.

48
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,341
We never miss one.

49
00:01:55,373 --> 00:01:57,892
You're acting like funerals are parties.

50
00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,798
Uh, yeah!

51
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:02,947
Yeah, think about it. Teens have proms,

52
00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:05,939
young adults have weddings,
and we have funerals.

53
00:02:05,964 --> 00:02:08,400
It's the ultimate after-party.

54
00:02:08,853 --> 00:02:11,523
I get to wear my fanciest suit,
there's an open bar,

55
00:02:11,555 --> 00:02:15,226
and sometimes people hook up
right there in the funeral hall.

56
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,297
Oh, come on.
Nobody gets freaky at funerals.

57
00:02:18,329 --> 00:02:20,932
Yes, they do! You've heard
of the mile-high club?

58
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:22,701
There's also a six-feet-under club.

59
00:02:22,733 --> 00:02:23,901
Yep.

60
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:25,871
Get your computer and Bing it.

61
00:02:27,074 --> 00:02:29,495
All right. We're trying
to make Hank look cool here.

62
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,556
You guys are not invited to the funeral.

63
00:02:31,581 --> 00:02:32,749
Got it.

64
00:02:32,774 --> 00:02:34,893
See you at the reception.

65
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:58,132
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

66
00:02:59,514 --> 00:03:01,507
All right. Let's go over this again.

67
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:03,275
You made some wise investments

68
00:03:03,315 --> 00:03:04,850
that allow you to travel the world.

69
00:03:04,875 --> 00:03:06,744
You have multiple friends with boats.

70
00:03:06,778 --> 00:03:08,547
And you hung out with Don Johnson once

71
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:09,742
at a Phoenix Suns game.

72
00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:11,549
Yeah, and he bought me a hot dog,

73
00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:13,279
'cause he doesn't let fame go
to his head.

74
00:03:13,304 --> 00:03:15,135
That's why we're friends.

75
00:03:15,619 --> 00:03:17,121
'Sup, y'all?

76
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,038
What's the haps and where's the apps?

77
00:03:19,063 --> 00:03:21,813
- We're here to put the "fun" in "funeral"!
- Yeah.

78
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:23,462
What the hell are you guys doing here?

79
00:03:23,487 --> 00:03:25,341
We told you... we're funeral crashing.

80
00:03:25,374 --> 00:03:27,944
Just like they did in
that hit movie starring, um...

81
00:03:27,976 --> 00:03:31,946
Oh, what are their names again?
The, um... the, um...

82
00:03:31,971 --> 00:03:35,159
the-the tall guy from the-the thing.

83
00:03:35,199 --> 00:03:38,036
Oh, who cares?

84
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,892
Ooh, crab cakes!

85
00:03:39,924 --> 00:03:41,398
I don't know where Donna ended up,

86
00:03:41,423 --> 00:03:43,900
but I have died and gone to heaven.

87
00:03:45,402 --> 00:03:47,064
Margaret.

88
00:03:47,089 --> 00:03:50,207
He... she... them.

89
00:03:50,239 --> 00:03:51,938
That's them?

90
00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:53,209
That's Reggie?

91
00:03:53,831 --> 00:03:55,396
Damn.

92
00:03:56,412 --> 00:03:57,915
Damn.

93
00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:00,826
- Margaret.
- Well, I'm sorry, but just...

94
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,122
damn.

95
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:06,466
All right, uh,
if this lie is gonna work,

96
00:04:06,491 --> 00:04:08,536
then you got to try to act cool, okay?

97
00:04:08,561 --> 00:04:10,227
Pull it together.
You're drooling a little bit.

98
00:04:10,259 --> 00:04:11,694
Actually, so am I.

99
00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:13,778
This woman does something to me.

100
00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:16,232
She-she discombobulates my-my-my-my...

101
00:04:16,266 --> 00:04:17,651
my-my-my-my...

102
00:04:17,676 --> 00:04:19,268
my-my head wires.

103
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,018
Can you believe she threw
a perfectly good marriage,

104
00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:24,864
40 years, down the toilet
for this dumb jock?

105
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:28,147
With all of that,
he doesn't need to be smart.

106
00:04:28,841 --> 00:04:31,964
All right, just c-calm down
and speak slowly.

107
00:04:31,988 --> 00:04:33,207
Everything's gonna be fine.

108
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,714
Yeah, I mean, I got this. I'm Hank.

109
00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:36,276
- Yeah.
- I'm Hank.

110
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,310
I'm Hank!

111
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,648
I know who the hell you are, Hank.

112
00:04:39,673 --> 00:04:42,027
I was married to your old ass, remember?

113
00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:47,287
Hi, Lorraine. I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm handsome.

114
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,291
Don Johnson has hot dog
and-and-and boats.

115
00:04:53,759 --> 00:04:56,151
Killin' it.

116
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,674
Well, hello, everyone.

117
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,275
- I'm Margaret.
- Oh.

118
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,577
Well, you're Hank's girlfriend?

119
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:14,581
Oh, well, let me just give you
a quick tip, baby girl.

120
00:05:14,613 --> 00:05:15,815
Run!

121
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,518
Run for your life!

122
00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:19,151
Girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no.

123
00:05:19,176 --> 00:05:21,532
I'm just his friend.
I'm one of his many friends.

124
00:05:21,557 --> 00:05:23,424
He is so popular.

125
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,793
Nice to meet you, Margaret. I'm Reggie.

126
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,802
Yes, you are.

127
00:05:33,998 --> 00:05:36,396
- Hey, man. I...
- Yeah, we met.

128
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,472
You remember. When I walked in
on you sleeping with my wife

129
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,807
in my bedroom.

130
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,597
You a...

131
00:05:42,644 --> 00:05:44,668
whole lot taller standing up.

132
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,979
So, you good?

133
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,781
Y'all good? Everything good?

134
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:49,983
Oh, lay off him.

135
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,618
No, no, it's all right, sweetheart.

136
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:55,098
Hank, I want you to know,
man to man, that I'm sorry.

137
00:05:55,123 --> 00:05:56,690
I did what I did out of love.

138
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,158
This woman is my soul mate.

139
00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,905
That's right, baby.

140
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:02,663
So, Hank, you're still bald.
That's going well?

141
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,255
Well, actually,

142
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,934
Hank is living pretty large nowadays.

143
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,723
He's made some really good investments.

144
00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:14,707
Yeah, I got in early
on them, uh, dinosaur bones.

145
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,008
Eggs, too.

146
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,911
Course, that's where the big money is,

147
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,646
'cause you can, uh,
hatch more dinosaurs.

148
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:25,185
What a great joke.

149
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,988
Actually, he invested primarily
in cryptocurrencies,

150
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,490
and he sold them before they crashed.

151
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,691
The dinosaur thing is just a joke.

152
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,256
- Right, Hank?
- Yeah.

153
00:06:33,281 --> 00:06:35,929
Because we all know
that the, uh, dinosaur bones,

154
00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:38,553
that's not an actual investment?

155
00:06:43,435 --> 00:06:45,038
So, uh, what about you, Reggie?

156
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,506
What you doing in your retirement?

157
00:06:46,548 --> 00:06:48,517
Did you have to sell
all your trophies like that,

158
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,009
uh, O.J. there?

159
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,444
No, no.

160
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,724
I spend most of my time
helping the community.

161
00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:54,850
- Oh.
- Yeah.

162
00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:56,250
I play football with kids
that have cancer.

163
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,086
Little Tyler got
his first touchdown this week.

164
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,032
Sorry.

165
00:07:04,546 --> 00:07:06,335
They're just
such strong warriors, you know?

166
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,762
They inspire me.

167
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,597
Well, I do all that, too.

168
00:07:12,202 --> 00:07:14,601
Course, them little kids
never scored on me.

169
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,798
Did I hear somewhere

170
00:07:16,823 --> 00:07:19,260
that y'all two got engaged?

171
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,806
I believe I heard the news.

172
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,407
I was on a friend of mine's yacht

173
00:07:22,432 --> 00:07:24,814
in "Ibitha" when I heard it.

174
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,312
Well, anyway, congratulations

175
00:07:26,337 --> 00:07:27,895
for finally putting a ring on it.

176
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,449
And what a ring.

177
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,489
Okay, shield your eyes, everybody.

178
00:07:32,514 --> 00:07:34,550
Pa-pow!

179
00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:37,897
Ooh, I kept telling Reggie it's too big.

180
00:07:37,922 --> 00:07:40,186
Especially compared to my old one.

181
00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:42,006
Hank, where'd you get that from,
a vending machine?

182
00:07:42,031 --> 00:07:43,943
A cereal box?

183
00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:46,543
Honey, let's, uh, try
to keep this classy.

184
00:07:46,929 --> 00:07:48,764
I'm having lots of sex!

185
00:07:49,546 --> 00:07:50,714
With all kind of women.

186
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:52,383
Hot women, too.

187
00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:54,351
Laying that pipe.

188
00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:56,953
Yeah, it's true.

189
00:07:56,986 --> 00:07:59,856
He's broken a lot of hearts
and a lot of bed frames.

190
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:03,159
It's not even gross to think about.

191
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:05,463
Well, um...

192
00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:07,864
R-Reggie just bought me a house. Uh-huh.

193
00:08:07,897 --> 00:08:10,093
We do it in there. Uh-huh.

194
00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:11,853
All up in the house.

195
00:08:11,878 --> 00:08:13,533
I'm talking about sex. House.

196
00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:14,658
- Sex!
- Lorraine.

197
00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:16,207
Lorraine, this is not the time

198
00:08:16,239 --> 00:08:18,400
nor the place to be so petty.

199
00:08:18,425 --> 00:08:20,477
All right? L-Let's go pay our respects.

200
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:22,180
Excuse us.

201
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:27,793
You see how rattled she was?

202
00:08:27,818 --> 00:08:30,087
Her left eye was twitching
all the way down.

203
00:08:30,464 --> 00:08:32,434
You are one hell of a hype man.

204
00:08:32,459 --> 00:08:33,762
- Thank you, Margaret!
- Mm-hmm.

205
00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:36,829
Yep. You so won that.

206
00:08:36,854 --> 00:08:39,529
By the way, Reggie seems super nice.

207
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,997
What a great guy.

208
00:08:41,023 --> 00:08:44,141
What a great big beautiful guy.

209
00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:45,148
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

210
00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:48,548
But what a great day to be alive!

211
00:08:48,573 --> 00:08:50,187
I'm so sorry for your loss.

212
00:08:50,212 --> 00:08:52,542
Very special lady.

213
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:58,171
Oh, Charlie.

214
00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:00,783
This might be the best funeral
we ever crashed.

215
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:03,101
- Yeah.
- I know it would be tacky,

216
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,460
but do you think we should take

217
00:09:04,485 --> 00:09:06,889
some of these lobster tails to go?

218
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,124
Are you kidding?

219
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:09,526
I have so much shrimp in my pockets,

220
00:09:09,551 --> 00:09:12,401
I smell like a chum bucket at SeaWorld.

221
00:09:13,889 --> 00:09:15,751
Is that you, Bull's-eye?

222
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:17,368
I knew it.

223
00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:20,505
You old son of a bitch!

224
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,941
I can't believe you came!

225
00:09:25,653 --> 00:09:28,421
Well, of course I came!

226
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,203
What's happening?

227
00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:33,507
I'll be damned. I haven't seen you

228
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,263
since we left our post in 'Nam.

229
00:09:35,288 --> 00:09:38,162
The best gunner
in the United States Air Force

230
00:09:38,187 --> 00:09:39,623
came all this way?

231
00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:41,756
I'm honored.

232
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:42,865
Pow, pow, pow.

233
00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:46,329
- And you must be Wilkins.
- What?

234
00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:48,834
The two of you always were inseparable.

235
00:09:48,859 --> 00:09:51,301
We-we-we were?

236
00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:53,417
You know, there... I think
there's a tiny mix-up that...

237
00:09:53,442 --> 00:09:55,071
I can't tell you how...

238
00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:58,753
how much it means to me you've
come to my wife's funeral.

239
00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:02,111
But I guess that's what you do
for your colonel.

240
00:10:02,972 --> 00:10:06,082
It's just so good to see your faces.

241
00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:10,596
Wilkins and I wouldn't
have missed it for the world!

242
00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:12,891
And I'm Bull's-eye!

243
00:10:13,456 --> 00:10:15,866
The other guys in our squadron

244
00:10:15,891 --> 00:10:19,141
are gonna crap twice and die
when they see you.

245
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:21,602
- Come on.
- I'm crapping already.

246
00:10:23,234 --> 00:10:24,529
Thanks for your help.

247
00:10:24,554 --> 00:10:27,370
But you should've let me go on
about the dinosaur bones.

248
00:10:27,411 --> 00:10:29,947
Lorraine loves
those Jurassic Park movies.

249
00:10:29,973 --> 00:10:32,934
Sometimes she likes me
to dress up as a dinosaur,

250
00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:34,878
you know, for the lovemaking.

251
00:10:34,911 --> 00:10:36,637
Tyrannosaurus Sex!

252
00:10:36,662 --> 00:10:38,047
That's what she called it.

253
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,515
I guess...

254
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:41,050
that's a story for another time.

255
00:10:41,084 --> 00:10:44,044
Yeah. I think that might be
a story for a never time.

256
00:10:44,619 --> 00:10:46,089
Oh! They're arguing.

257
00:10:46,552 --> 00:10:49,521
She just tilted her head.
That means she is pissed.

258
00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:51,795
And if she flips her hair, look out.

259
00:10:51,827 --> 00:10:54,218
Come on, girl, flip your hair.
Flip your hair, baby.

260
00:10:54,243 --> 00:10:57,045
- She flipped her hair.
- What does that mean?

261
00:10:57,070 --> 00:11:00,303
That means they're in a big ol'
fight and I won my divorce.

262
00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,900
And Reggie's leaving.

263
00:11:02,925 --> 00:11:05,986
Well, we may just have ruined
her whole life.

264
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,811
- Awesome.
- Yeah, now she's alone.

265
00:11:08,844 --> 00:11:11,124
All alone.

266
00:11:11,149 --> 00:11:12,954
Sexy and alone.

267
00:11:12,979 --> 00:11:14,165
Wait, what?

268
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:15,418
I'm gonna go get my wife back.

269
00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:16,727
You said you hate her.

270
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,195
Yeah. That's when she wasn't available.

271
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,303
Wish me luck.

272
00:11:19,336 --> 00:11:21,172
Tyrannosaurus Sex is heading in.

273
00:11:31,882 --> 00:11:34,986
Hey, boys, look who I found.

274
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,467
Bull's-eye and Wilkins.

275
00:11:37,787 --> 00:11:40,124
You guys have a lot to catch up on.

276
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,082
Yeah, we certainly do.

277
00:11:42,107 --> 00:11:44,377
- Uh...
- Yeah.

278
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,998
Yep.

279
00:11:47,031 --> 00:11:48,636
You guys start.

280
00:11:48,865 --> 00:11:50,835
May I have your attention?

281
00:11:50,868 --> 00:11:56,207
Uh, look, I just want to thank
you all for coming here today.

282
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:59,940
To honor Donna's memory,
my squadron and I

283
00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:04,037
are gonna sing our old
Air Force fight song.

284
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:07,545
- You ready, boys?
- Um...

285
00:12:10,078 --> 00:12:11,725
- ? Off we go ?
- ? We go ?

286
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:14,325
- ? Into the wild blue yonder ?
- ? Going up there ?

287
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,012
? Climbing high ?

288
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:18,129
- ? Into the sun ?
- ? Into the sky ?

289
00:12:18,162 --> 00:12:20,197
- ? Here they come ?
- ? Off we have ?

290
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,925
- ? Zooming to meet our thunder ?
- ? We are four men ?

291
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,402
? At 'em, boys, give 'er the gun ?

292
00:12:25,428 --> 00:12:27,130
- ? And keeping it dry ?
- ? Pa-pa-pa-pow ?

293
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:28,743
? Down we dive ?

294
00:12:28,813 --> 00:12:31,946
- ? Spouting our flames from under ?
- ? Spilling the vapors near you ?

295
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,876
Oh, hey, Lorraine.

296
00:12:35,111 --> 00:12:36,913
You're sitting all alone.

297
00:12:37,595 --> 00:12:39,149
Baby, you all right?

298
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:41,126
Shut up, Hank. I'm fine.

299
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,553
Well, I saw you flip your hair, girl.

300
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,725
I see that you and Reggie were fighting.

301
00:12:47,758 --> 00:12:49,927
Yeah, whatever.

302
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,162
We're going through a rough patch.

303
00:12:52,955 --> 00:12:56,483
Thinking about you in Ibiza
with all your yacht hos...

304
00:12:58,635 --> 00:13:00,348
- Made me feel a little...
- Jealous?

305
00:13:00,381 --> 00:13:01,577
- Yes.
- Envious?

306
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:04,928
Well, it means the same thing, so yeah.

307
00:13:04,953 --> 00:13:06,889
Congratulations.

308
00:13:06,914 --> 00:13:09,083
Your life is better than mine.

309
00:13:09,108 --> 00:13:10,657
Well, uh...

310
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:12,969
Here's the deal... it's not.

311
00:13:13,374 --> 00:13:14,976
Look, uh, me and Margaret

312
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,229
kind of stretched
the truth there a little bit.

313
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:20,957
I've never been
to "Ibitha," and I'm not rich.

314
00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:23,927
I just told you all that
to make you jealous and envious.

315
00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:26,447
Oh, that's messed up.

316
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,502
But to tell you the truth,

317
00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:31,280
it's kind of refreshing.

318
00:13:31,313 --> 00:13:33,615
I mean, Reggie, he's just too nice.

319
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,983
Even when we argue, he's never mad.

320
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,886
Well, that's too bad.
It sounds like there's no fire.

321
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,054
Now, me and you?

322
00:13:40,088 --> 00:13:42,824
- We had fire.
- Ugh.

323
00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:44,892
We were a fire hazard.

324
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,615
Mmm.

325
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,343
The best part about fighting
was the making up afterwards.

326
00:13:49,422 --> 00:13:51,959
Shut up, Hank.

327
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,493
? Flying men ?

328
00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:02,045
? Guarding our nation's border ?

329
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:05,965
? We'll be there, followed by more ?

330
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,469
? In echelon ?

331
00:14:08,494 --> 00:14:10,494
? We carry on ?

332
00:14:10,512 --> 00:14:14,983
? Shout! Nothing can stop
the U.S. Air Force ?

333
00:14:15,016 --> 00:14:19,189
? Air Force ?

334
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,660
- Oh, wow.
- Ah. Oh.

335
00:14:25,685 --> 00:14:28,064
- That was fun.
- Yeah.

336
00:14:28,097 --> 00:14:30,090
What the hell, you guys?

337
00:14:30,115 --> 00:14:32,168
Why are you singing with the Air Force?

338
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,606
Well, isn't it obvious, Margaret?

339
00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:37,668
We have to pretend that we're
Bull's-eye and Wilkins

340
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:40,115
so the colonel doesn't get upset.

341
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,311
Yeah. Catch up, Margaret.

342
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,461
And where's Hank?
He missed our big number.

343
00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:46,815
Oh, he ran off with Lorraine
a while ago.

344
00:14:46,848 --> 00:14:48,984
I think he's trying to have dinosaur sex

345
00:14:49,017 --> 00:14:51,019
- with her or something.
- Oh, no.

346
00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:53,386
He didn't do the arms, did he?

347
00:14:54,221 --> 00:14:55,728
How did you let this happen?

348
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:57,334
He was almost over her.

349
00:14:57,359 --> 00:14:59,528
Lorraine is poison for him.

350
00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:01,663
Yeah, Margaret.
We ought to put you in the brig.

351
00:15:01,696 --> 00:15:04,106
That's Air Force for jail.

352
00:15:04,566 --> 00:15:06,706
How is this my fault?

353
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,239
Hank is a mature man.

354
00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:10,240
He can think for hims-s...

355
00:15:10,272 --> 00:15:12,274
Oh, this is all my fault.

356
00:15:12,308 --> 00:15:13,910
We got to go stop them.

357
00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:16,571
- Let's bring our boy back home.
- Yeah.

358
00:15:16,596 --> 00:15:18,384
? Off we go ?

359
00:15:18,409 --> 00:15:20,717
- ? Into the wild blue yonder ?
- ? Pa-pow! ?

360
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,452
? Pa-pa-pa-pow ?

361
00:15:24,319 --> 00:15:26,448
Maybe they're in here?

362
00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:29,439
Oh, no.

363
00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:31,127
Definitely not in here.

364
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,731
A dark room
filled with velvet-lined beds?

365
00:15:34,763 --> 00:15:36,465
Oh, yeah, they're in here.

366
00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:39,614
Nobody has sex in a coffin.

367
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,138
Um, coffin salesmen?

368
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:44,439
Count Dracula?

369
00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:46,992
That's two just off the top of my head.

370
00:15:49,975 --> 00:15:52,649
Ooh. Oh, boy.

371
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:55,250
We're about to see Hank naked.

372
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:56,967
All right, well, if you have
have a weak stomach,

373
00:15:56,992 --> 00:15:58,320
you might want to turn away.

374
00:15:58,353 --> 00:15:59,988
I will be turning away.

375
00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:01,290
Go for it, Charlie.

376
00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:03,312
I'm on it.

377
00:16:06,462 --> 00:16:08,117
- Hi, Hank.
- Ooh.

378
00:16:10,199 --> 00:16:12,001
What the hell?

379
00:16:12,034 --> 00:16:16,373
You guys have weddings
and proms. This is our thing.

380
00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:20,134
I'm okay with letting them have
this one.

381
00:16:22,777 --> 00:16:24,079
Hey, when you guys are done,

382
00:16:24,112 --> 00:16:26,483
there's sandwiches in the other room.

383
00:16:28,693 --> 00:16:30,361
Ooh, ooh.

384
00:16:30,404 --> 00:16:32,735
We're about to do this, huh?
At the funeral?

385
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,490
You damn straight.

386
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,203
Ooh, I can't believe I'm actually going

387
00:16:39,228 --> 00:16:40,930
to join the six-feet-under club.

388
00:16:40,955 --> 00:16:43,626
- That's a real thing?
- Oh, yeah.

389
00:16:43,658 --> 00:16:46,085
I'm just taking this
as your official apology

390
00:16:46,110 --> 00:16:48,163
for cheating on me and throwing 40 years

391
00:16:48,188 --> 00:16:49,703
of marriage down the drain.

392
00:16:49,728 --> 00:16:52,031
It's okay, I forgive you, baby.

393
00:16:52,064 --> 00:16:54,700
Ow! What the hell?

394
00:16:54,899 --> 00:16:56,660
Me apologize to you?

395
00:16:56,685 --> 00:16:58,137
The divorce was your fault.

396
00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,172
My fault? You cheated on me.

397
00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:01,746
Because you were a terrible husband.

398
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:03,183
You always forgot our anniversary.

399
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:05,277
That's 'cause it was so close
to Christmas.

400
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,080
It was in April, Hank.

401
00:17:08,035 --> 00:17:10,148
You never did a damn thing.

402
00:17:10,182 --> 00:17:11,984
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!

403
00:17:12,025 --> 00:17:14,196
- You never did the laundry.
- You were better at it.

404
00:17:14,221 --> 00:17:16,056
- You never cooked.
- You were better at it.

405
00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:19,718
- You never listened to me.
- You were better at it!

406
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,407
Now, are we sexy fighting,
or are we real fighting?

407
00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:24,044
Okay, so we're real fighting now.

408
00:17:24,364 --> 00:17:28,028
I can't believe I almost made
this-this huge mistake.

409
00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:30,404
You know what, Hank?

410
00:17:30,436 --> 00:17:33,107
You're not a Tyrannosaurus Sex.

411
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,707
You're a selfish pig.

412
00:17:34,741 --> 00:17:38,045
Oink. Oink. Piggy.

413
00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:40,310
Piggy!

414
00:17:47,286 --> 00:17:49,236
There you are.

415
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,792
Please tell us you didn't sleep
with Lorraine.

416
00:17:51,824 --> 00:17:54,427
And if you did,
please tell us how it was.

417
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:56,905
No, I did not.

418
00:17:56,929 --> 00:17:59,166
You're not gonna believe
what this crazy lady said.

419
00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:00,500
Now, y'all ready to laugh?

420
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:03,003
Yeah, we're at a funeral, aren't we?

421
00:18:03,035 --> 00:18:04,470
Well, get this.

422
00:18:04,503 --> 00:18:06,327
She said the divorce was all my fault

423
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,142
because I was a lousy husband,

424
00:18:08,175 --> 00:18:10,311
I was selfish and never listened to her.

425
00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:12,513
Well, is all of that true?

426
00:18:12,545 --> 00:18:14,247
Well, I don't know. She cheated on me.

427
00:18:14,647 --> 00:18:17,876
Did you ever stop to think why
she cheated on you?

428
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:23,048
I-I bet it's 'cause of all
that stuff he just said.

429
00:18:26,292 --> 00:18:28,452
What? Am I sucking too loud?

430
00:18:34,081 --> 00:18:35,350
Hey.

431
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,843
Leave me alone.

432
00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:39,005
- Listen, I want to...
- Oh, now you want me to listen?

433
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:41,375
I listened for 40 years;
I'm done listening.

434
00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:44,645
I only ever looked at our
divorce from my point of view.

435
00:18:44,677 --> 00:18:46,446
I'm listening.

436
00:18:46,487 --> 00:18:49,623
Well, it was easy for me
to blame you for the divorce

437
00:18:49,648 --> 00:18:51,217
'cause you cheated on me,

438
00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:54,687
but I realize now our marriage
was broken long before that.

439
00:18:54,721 --> 00:18:56,323
Well, thank you.

440
00:18:56,356 --> 00:18:57,891
Thank you for saying that.

441
00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,217
Th-That means a lot.

442
00:18:59,242 --> 00:19:01,227
Well, I'll take my 50% of the blame.

443
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,628
I took you for granted.

444
00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:05,983
Yes, you did, but I still
shouldn't have cheated on you.

445
00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:08,401
Well, that's your 50%.

446
00:19:08,435 --> 00:19:11,504
And Reggie's a good guy.

447
00:19:11,545 --> 00:19:13,547
I see how he's taking care of you,

448
00:19:13,572 --> 00:19:17,311
and, well, maybe that's more
important than having fire.

449
00:19:17,343 --> 00:19:18,978
Lorraine, I've been looking
all over for you.

450
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,472
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.

451
00:19:20,513 --> 00:19:22,434
- Mm.
- Yeah.

452
00:19:22,459 --> 00:19:25,485
I should actually get those back
to the altar.

453
00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:26,974
I felt weird taking them,

454
00:19:27,037 --> 00:19:29,908
but I didn't want to show up
without a gift for you.

455
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:32,918
I should have never left you alone

456
00:19:32,943 --> 00:19:34,178
at your friend's funeral, baby.

457
00:19:34,212 --> 00:19:37,731
That was wrong of me,
and I take full responsibility.

458
00:19:37,756 --> 00:19:40,351
- You forgive me?
- See?

459
00:19:40,385 --> 00:19:42,166
That's how you do it.

460
00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:44,737
I forgive you, baby.

461
00:19:44,762 --> 00:19:45,890
Wuss.

462
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:48,060
- Did you just call me a wuss?
- No, no.

463
00:19:48,092 --> 00:19:49,767
I was calling myself
a wuss. Look at you.

464
00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:52,262
You're tall and-and-and strong. Bye.

465
00:19:57,726 --> 00:20:00,272
So I called him a "wuss"
right to his face.

466
00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:03,007
I was gonna knock him out,
but then he got on his knees

467
00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:05,677
and begged forgiveness,
so I let it slide.

468
00:20:05,716 --> 00:20:07,357
I wish you guys could have seen it,

469
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:09,684
- 'cause it definitely happened.
- Yeah.

470
00:20:12,383 --> 00:20:13,818
Sid.

471
00:20:16,223 --> 00:20:17,923
At ease, gentlemen.

472
00:20:17,956 --> 00:20:21,059
I know you're not
Bull's-eye and Wilkins.

473
00:20:21,091 --> 00:20:23,595
You do? How?

474
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:27,227
'Cause they're not real people.
I made them up.

475
00:20:28,832 --> 00:20:30,936
I knew you were crashers
the minute I saw you,

476
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,917
like, uh, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

477
00:20:32,942 --> 00:20:34,706
That's it.

478
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,112
So the boys and I had some fun with you.

479
00:20:40,145 --> 00:20:43,482
Seeing you try to sing our song
was hilarious.

480
00:20:43,514 --> 00:20:45,949
Hilarious 'cause we were so good?

481
00:20:45,974 --> 00:20:47,748
? So good ?

482
00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:49,952
? Good ?

483
00:20:51,013 --> 00:20:52,483
Uh, no.

484
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:56,436
But listen,

485
00:20:56,461 --> 00:20:59,203
it was nice having a laugh
on such a tough day.

486
00:20:59,228 --> 00:21:02,131
So, uh, thanks, boys.

487
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:05,793
Madam, are you ready for our date?

488
00:21:05,825 --> 00:21:08,590
Sir, yes, sir.

489
00:21:08,897 --> 00:21:10,840
I'll, uh, see you out there.

490
00:21:11,473 --> 00:21:14,207
What? I like a man in uniform.

491
00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:19,051
Oh, come on.
His wife is dead. Leave me alone.

492
00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:20,742
? Off I go ?

493
00:21:20,776 --> 00:21:23,913
? Into the wild blue yonder ?

494
00:21:23,938 --> 00:21:27,892
? Flying high into the sun,
pa-pa-pa-pow ?

495
00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:32,917
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com