1 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,099 _ 2 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,800 _ 3 00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:39,980 _ 4 00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:49,904 _ 5 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,000 _ 6 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:43,900 *CREDITS* 7 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000 _ 8 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,331 - Mrs Marbury? - 'Ya 9 00:02:53,226 --> 00:02:55,021 Mr Cust. 10 00:03:02,276 --> 00:03:05,490 Rent is two and six a week, you pay up front and a week in hand. 11 00:03:06,765 --> 00:03:09,530 Some parcels got delivered for you. We took them up. 12 00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:12,251 I trust you're not going to be expecting that service 13 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,021 regularly, carrying parcels. 14 00:03:14,046 --> 00:03:15,971 What do you think I am, a pack horse? 15 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,811 You should have left them for me to carry. 16 00:03:17,836 --> 00:03:19,891 And have brown paper items littering my vestibule? 17 00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:21,381 This is no post office. 18 00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:26,251 I'm very sorry to inconvenience you, Mrs Marbury. 19 00:03:26,276 --> 00:03:28,740 The front door is bolted at ten o'clock sharp. 20 00:03:28,765 --> 00:03:31,131 I don't hold with none of my gentlemen out carousing 21 00:03:31,156 --> 00:03:33,921 half the night. I don't hold with no topers and sots neither. 22 00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:37,410 Nor no bad language, profanities and blasphemies and the like. 23 00:03:37,435 --> 00:03:39,971 What I do hold with is old-fashioned manners. 24 00:03:39,996 --> 00:03:42,771 You mind your Ps and Qs and we'll get along nicely. 25 00:03:46,236 --> 00:03:48,211 The privy is in the yard. 26 00:03:48,236 --> 00:03:51,301 I prefer my gentlemen to not be cavalier in their use 27 00:03:51,326 --> 00:03:53,941 of the lavatory paper. It blocks up the pipes, 28 00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:56,851 and then who's got to get in there with a stick and break it up? 29 00:03:58,276 --> 00:03:59,740 Me, that's who. 30 00:04:04,486 --> 00:04:06,131 Are you just passing through 31 00:04:06,156 --> 00:04:09,709 or do you expect to be a long-term resident? 32 00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:11,150 That all depends. 33 00:04:12,837 --> 00:04:14,882 On what? 34 00:04:14,907 --> 00:04:17,122 The success of my enterprise. 35 00:04:27,626 --> 00:04:29,322 Bed bugs? 36 00:04:29,347 --> 00:04:33,292 I run a clean house, Mr Cust. A very clean house. No foreigns. 37 00:04:33,317 --> 00:04:35,812 Not like some round here - take in all sorts, 38 00:04:35,837 --> 00:04:38,092 don't know whose air you're breathing. 39 00:04:51,397 --> 00:04:54,562 Mr Treadgold. One of my long-term residents. 40 00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:57,682 Got a bad back. My daughter Lily is helping him. 41 00:04:57,707 --> 00:05:00,562 Very skilled she is, with gentlemen what have aches. 42 00:05:06,037 --> 00:05:07,762 A shilling for ordinary. 43 00:05:07,787 --> 00:05:09,531 You book through me. You pay me. 44 00:05:12,227 --> 00:05:14,562 She knows her stuff, won't give you no argument. 45 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,372 I'll let you get unpacked. 46 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,600 _ 47 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,500 _ 48 00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,172 I followed you the other day. 49 00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:19,601 You looked old and tired. 50 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,042 You walk as if your feet hurt. 51 00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:32,842 I was rather concerned for you. 52 00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:41,962 I stood so close behind you. 53 00:06:44,227 --> 00:06:46,682 Could you feel my breath on your neck, Hercule? 54 00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,012 Plenty will say that it is vanity. 55 00:07:02,347 --> 00:07:05,092 "That puffed up, pompous peacock Poirot," they'll say. 56 00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:09,842 And they'll laugh at you behind your back, 57 00:07:09,867 --> 00:07:12,092 but I'm not laughing 58 00:07:13,306 --> 00:07:14,812 because it's not vanity. 59 00:07:18,347 --> 00:07:20,922 I think you're trying to roll back the time to when you were 60 00:07:20,947 --> 00:07:23,731 a famous detective. 61 00:07:23,756 --> 00:07:28,042 When you were celebrated, when you were wanted 62 00:07:31,397 --> 00:07:32,922 when you were loved. 63 00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:43,252 I have never been loved, 64 00:07:43,277 --> 00:07:44,731 but I will be feared. 65 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,842 I will be a faceless beast, 66 00:07:49,867 --> 00:07:52,972 leading lambs to the slaughter. 67 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000 _ 68 00:08:11,197 --> 00:08:14,762 I need to speak to Inspector Japp on a matter of urgency. 69 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:17,172 I know the way. He's not here. 70 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,122 Where is he? 71 00:08:19,147 --> 00:08:21,281 Hoeing his cabbages, most like. 72 00:08:21,306 --> 00:08:23,281 Just a regular civilian now. 73 00:08:23,306 --> 00:08:27,731 He retired? Mm-hm. Who took over from him? 74 00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:30,372 That'll be young Inspector Crome, sir. 75 00:08:30,397 --> 00:08:32,972 Then I'll speak to him. He's out on a case at the moment. 76 00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:37,731 Take a seat with the other members of the public, if you'd be so good. 77 00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:06,531 Inspector Crome, sir. 78 00:09:09,147 --> 00:09:11,092 Hercule Poirot. 79 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:42,082 I will be a faceless beast leading lambs to the slaughter. 80 00:09:42,587 --> 00:09:44,922 Inspector Japp- 81 00:09:44,947 --> 00:09:48,252 "I'm going to do something for both of us, Hercule. 82 00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:51,452 "I'm getting my ducks in a row, as they say. 83 00:09:51,477 --> 00:09:53,172 "I'll let you know when I'm ready. 84 00:09:53,197 --> 00:09:57,812 "Until then, chin-chin. ABC." 85 00:09:57,837 --> 00:10:02,022 Every letter from ABC has a different postmark. 86 00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:05,922 I keep the envelopes. They're different from the others. 87 00:10:05,947 --> 00:10:08,812 What others? THE others. 88 00:10:08,837 --> 00:10:14,052 A small selection, presented solely for comparison of tone and intent. 89 00:10:18,477 --> 00:10:22,281 "You're not better than us. Piss off, Froggy." 90 00:10:22,306 --> 00:10:27,502 19 years I've lived here, and still people think I'm French. 91 00:10:27,797 --> 00:10:29,922 Are they all like this? Mm. 92 00:10:31,636 --> 00:10:35,332 You should have said you were retiring. 93 00:10:35,357 --> 00:10:37,562 I would have raised a glass to you. 94 00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:42,781 Ah, didn't want to make a big song and dance. Just did it quietly. 95 00:10:45,717 --> 00:10:50,692 Japp, why wouldn't Inspector Crome see me? 96 00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:54,202 Well, you know what young men are like. Want to make their name. 97 00:10:54,227 --> 00:10:57,281 He's a good lad, though. Just give him time. 98 00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:59,411 Why do you keep these? 99 00:10:59,436 --> 00:11:02,411 You should chuck them in the bin where they belong. 100 00:11:02,436 --> 00:11:04,452 They come every day, Japp- 101 00:11:06,077 --> 00:11:10,692 The letters from ABC are polite, sympathetic, 102 00:11:10,717 --> 00:11:12,531 almost friendly. 103 00:11:12,556 --> 00:11:14,972 They scare me the most. 104 00:11:14,997 --> 00:11:17,812 And there is something wrong about them. 105 00:11:17,837 --> 00:11:21,611 I cannot put my finger on what is wrong about them. 106 00:11:21,636 --> 00:11:25,281 Something wrong with them? Everything's wrong with them! 107 00:11:25,306 --> 00:11:28,892 "I will be a faceless beast." This bloke's off his crust! 108 00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:33,361 You're out of sorts. 109 00:11:34,797 --> 00:11:37,332 Too much on your own. 110 00:11:37,357 --> 00:11:41,172 Now, if you were busy, you'd see these for what they are - 111 00:11:41,197 --> 00:11:43,052 nasty, cruel people, 112 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,692 and some mad bloke playing a vicious game with you, 113 00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:47,812 and you'd chuck the whole sorry lot of them. 114 00:11:56,636 --> 00:11:58,812 I've baked a ham. 115 00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:00,531 Got some spuds. 116 00:12:00,556 --> 00:12:02,462 Nice red cabbage. 117 00:12:02,487 --> 00:12:04,462 Come and have supper. 118 00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:07,002 Jam roly-poly with custard for pudding. 119 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:10,332 - Quelle horreur! English food. - Come on. 120 00:12:10,357 --> 00:12:12,462 We'll set the world to rights. 121 00:12:12,487 --> 00:12:14,741 Even got some brandy left over from Christmas. 122 00:12:16,766 --> 00:12:19,972 I could use the company too, if I'm honest. 123 00:12:19,997 --> 00:12:22,852 If it is a favour to you, then I accept. 124 00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:24,281 Smashing. 125 00:12:24,306 --> 00:12:27,252 But first, I'm burning these. 126 00:12:27,277 --> 00:12:30,611 Every last single one of them. 127 00:12:30,636 --> 00:12:31,642 Japp 128 00:12:32,997 --> 00:12:34,491 thank you, my friend. 129 00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:39,132 Close the shed for me and we'll head straight off. 130 00:13:03,636 --> 00:13:05,052 Japp? 131 00:13:06,556 --> 00:13:09,572 Japp? Japp? 132 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:23,050 _ 133 00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:27,024 _ 134 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:41,000 _ 135 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:53,000 _ 136 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:18,750 _ 137 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,024 _ 138 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,000 _ 139 00:15:16,157 --> 00:15:17,972 Good morning to you, madam. 140 00:15:17,997 --> 00:15:20,621 Do I have the privilege of addressing Mrs Alice Ascher? 141 00:15:20,646 --> 00:15:24,052 Yes, but don't waste your breath on the patter, sunshine. 142 00:15:24,077 --> 00:15:28,262 I'm not buying anything and I've a sandwich waiting, so on your way. 143 00:15:28,287 --> 00:15:31,411 You don't know what I'm selling yet, Mrs Ascher. 144 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,000 _ 145 00:16:15,847 --> 00:16:19,652 The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. 146 00:16:19,677 --> 00:16:21,132 Blessed be the Lord. 147 00:16:23,037 --> 00:16:27,462 Man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live 148 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:57,000 _ 149 00:17:05,877 --> 00:17:10,182 Inspector Crome! Do not make me chase you through a graveyard! 150 00:17:10,207 --> 00:17:12,212 It's beneath both our dignities! 151 00:17:14,436 --> 00:17:18,491 - Mr Poirot. - I need you to speak to your colleagues in Andover. 152 00:17:18,516 --> 00:17:20,052 About what? 153 00:17:20,077 --> 00:17:21,291 Murder. 154 00:17:31,797 --> 00:17:33,822 This was Japp's office. 155 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,491 It was. 156 00:17:37,396 --> 00:17:42,212 You still do those murder parties, in the big houses? 157 00:17:42,237 --> 00:17:44,732 Like when you were a celebrity? 158 00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:46,062 Odd thing to do - 159 00:17:46,087 --> 00:17:49,012 rich people pretending to be murdered. 160 00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:50,411 Grisly. 161 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,291 There's no longer the demand. 162 00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:55,132 Mr Poirot 163 00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,092 you appear to be melting. 164 00:18:05,287 --> 00:18:07,012 Must have been jolly though, 165 00:18:07,037 --> 00:18:09,291 cavorting with the gentry. 166 00:18:09,316 --> 00:18:11,452 The bright young things. 167 00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:12,702 The aristos. 168 00:18:13,757 --> 00:18:15,732 Playing at death. 169 00:18:15,757 --> 00:18:18,182 Fun while it lasted. 170 00:18:18,207 --> 00:18:22,291 Inspector Crome, have I caused you some offence? 171 00:18:22,316 --> 00:18:27,512 Do you mean me personally, or me collectively, as in the force? 172 00:18:27,927 --> 00:18:29,572 Both. 173 00:18:29,597 --> 00:18:32,541 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 174 00:18:32,566 --> 00:18:35,902 You're the great detective, the solver of impenetrable clues. 175 00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:38,132 You work it out. 176 00:18:38,157 --> 00:18:39,732 Yelland. 177 00:18:39,757 --> 00:18:43,132 So I've spoken in depth to our colleagues at Andover, sir, 178 00:18:43,157 --> 00:18:45,291 and received details of all crimes committed 179 00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:47,541 on the 31st of March, 1933, to wit: 180 00:18:47,566 --> 00:18:51,012 a dog running off with some laundry, a bicycle thrown in a river, 181 00:18:51,037 --> 00:18:54,182 - an altercation involving a set of dentures. - Dentures? 182 00:18:54,207 --> 00:18:58,371 Yes, sir, the miscreant being one Herbert "Humpy" Morris, who 183 00:18:58,396 --> 00:19:02,732 requested that a passing lady give him a smile to which she responded 184 00:19:02,757 --> 00:19:06,782 with some choice Anglo-Saxon, whereupon Morris threw his dentures 185 00:19:06,807 --> 00:19:11,212 at her, the lady stamped on them and it all turned into quite the to-do. 186 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:14,732 - What else? - The usual run of drunk and disorderlies and breaches of 187 00:19:14,757 --> 00:19:18,262 the peace, punch-ups, soliciting and a boy broke the window of 188 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:21,782 Asher's tobacconists but Mrs Ascher didn't answer the door 189 00:19:21,807 --> 00:19:25,212 so the constable concluded she was in the public house, 190 00:19:25,237 --> 00:19:28,212 as she was often wont to be, taped some cardboard over 191 00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:32,092 the window and let the young lad off with a clip round the lug-hole. 192 00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:34,491 - No murders. - No, sir. 193 00:19:34,516 --> 00:19:36,491 No corpse in the library. 194 00:19:36,516 --> 00:19:40,652 No silver candlestick rammed in some heiress' eye socket. 195 00:19:40,677 --> 00:19:43,572 No twitching guts in the conservatory. 196 00:19:45,597 --> 00:19:47,062 No, sir. 197 00:19:48,957 --> 00:19:50,371 Well, there we are then. 198 00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:54,142 I hope that puts your mind at rest. 199 00:19:56,117 --> 00:19:58,782 You know what day it is today, don't you? 200 00:19:58,807 --> 00:20:00,452 The first of April. 201 00:20:00,477 --> 00:20:01,982 Fools' Day. 202 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:05,421 I think you've just been taken. 203 00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:10,572 Your time and effort in this matter are appreciated. 204 00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:14,062 Your time and effort in this matter are appreciated. 205 00:20:17,526 --> 00:20:20,062 Why's his chin all grey? 206 00:20:20,087 --> 00:20:21,262 Don't ask. 207 00:21:00,396 --> 00:21:02,621 Je vous salue, Marie, pleine de grace. 208 00:21:02,646 --> 00:21:04,862 Le Seigneur est avec vous. 209 00:21:04,887 --> 00:21:07,452 Vous etes benie entre toutes les femmes 210 00:21:07,477 --> 00:21:10,342 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 211 00:21:25,306 --> 00:21:28,491 Je vous salue, Marie, pleine de grace. 212 00:21:28,516 --> 00:21:31,851 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 213 00:21:33,186 --> 00:21:34,771 What offence? 214 00:21:40,356 --> 00:21:42,691 Je vous salue, Marie, pleine de grace. 215 00:21:42,716 --> 00:21:43,891 Le Seigneur est avec vous. 216 00:21:43,916 --> 00:21:45,921 Breaches of the peace, punch-ups, 217 00:21:45,946 --> 00:21:49,641 soliciting, and a boy broke the window of Ascher's tobacconists, 218 00:21:49,666 --> 00:21:52,771 but Mrs Ascher didn't answer the door so the constable concluded she was 219 00:21:52,796 --> 00:21:55,161 in the public house. 220 00:21:55,186 --> 00:21:56,851 Why is his chin all grey? 221 00:21:56,876 --> 00:21:59,081 Don't ask. 222 00:21:59,106 --> 00:22:02,181 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 223 00:22:02,206 --> 00:22:04,931 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 224 00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:06,571 The window of Ascher's tobacconists. 225 00:22:06,596 --> 00:22:09,211 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 226 00:22:09,236 --> 00:22:11,771 What offence do you think you might have caused, Mr Poirot? 227 00:22:16,996 --> 00:22:18,161 Assassin! 228 00:22:19,996 --> 00:22:22,081 Assassin. 229 00:22:36,276 --> 00:22:39,771 "I hope you're as excited as I am, Hercule. 230 00:22:39,796 --> 00:22:43,161 "I hope you're ready too. 231 00:22:43,186 --> 00:22:46,491 "31st March 232 00:22:46,516 --> 00:22:50,131 "Chin-chin. ABC." 233 00:22:51,876 --> 00:22:53,541 ABC. 234 00:22:59,276 --> 00:23:01,851 The usual run of drunk and disorderlies 235 00:23:01,876 --> 00:23:04,211 and breaches of the peace, punch-ups, soliciting 236 00:23:04,236 --> 00:23:06,971 and a boy broke the window of Ascher's tobacconists. 237 00:23:06,996 --> 00:23:10,051 And Mrs Ascher didn't answer the door. 238 00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:25,651 New tickets, please. 239 00:23:25,676 --> 00:23:27,521 New tickets. 240 00:23:27,546 --> 00:23:29,291 Thank you, sir. 241 00:23:31,596 --> 00:23:33,051 - Sir. - Merci. 242 00:23:46,186 --> 00:23:48,011 New tickets, please. 243 00:23:48,036 --> 00:23:49,161 Thank you, madam. 244 00:24:48,356 --> 00:24:49,691 Mrs Ascher? 245 00:24:54,756 --> 00:24:56,731 Madame? 246 00:26:02,116 --> 00:26:04,521 I will find this person, madame. 247 00:26:05,796 --> 00:26:07,651 I will find them. 248 00:26:11,116 --> 00:26:12,881 I give you my solemn word. 249 00:27:21,677 --> 00:27:24,732 ? Like the tick, tick, tock of the stately clock 250 00:27:24,757 --> 00:27:28,062 ? As it stands against the wall 251 00:27:28,087 --> 00:27:31,932 ? Like the drip, drip, drip of the raindrops 252 00:27:31,957 --> 00:27:36,171 ? When the summer shower is through 253 00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:40,132 ? So a voice within me keeps repeating 254 00:27:40,157 --> 00:27:43,532 ? You, you, you 255 00:27:43,557 --> 00:27:48,791 ? Night and day, you are the one 256 00:27:50,266 --> 00:27:55,491 ? Only you beneath the moon or under the sun 257 00:27:56,646 --> 00:28:00,572 ? Whether near to me or far ? 258 00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:04,062 Shut up, Lily! I can't hear myself bloody think! 259 00:28:25,316 --> 00:28:27,892 You murdering sack of shit bastard. 260 00:28:29,837 --> 00:28:30,982 Come on, then! 261 00:28:31,007 --> 00:28:33,012 Get in here! 262 00:28:33,037 --> 00:28:34,012 That's it. 263 00:28:38,837 --> 00:28:40,212 Get in! 264 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:47,171 Going to the rope for this, you know that? 265 00:28:47,196 --> 00:28:49,212 Going to crack your neck. 266 00:28:49,237 --> 00:28:50,702 It wasn't me. 267 00:28:50,727 --> 00:28:53,291 - Balls. - It isn't him. 268 00:28:54,646 --> 00:28:57,371 Use your eyes, Detective Bunce. 269 00:28:57,396 --> 00:29:01,171 Alice Ascher's neighbour said he was always threatening his wife, 270 00:29:01,196 --> 00:29:04,621 that he said he was going to cut her throat, 271 00:29:04,646 --> 00:29:07,012 then he was going to cut her head clean off 272 00:29:07,037 --> 00:29:10,251 and he practically did cut her head clean off. 273 00:29:10,276 --> 00:29:12,782 Her head? Her head was cut off? 274 00:29:12,807 --> 00:29:14,262 Like you don't know. 275 00:29:14,287 --> 00:29:18,371 To inflict such a mortal wound with a weapon inadequate to the task 276 00:29:18,396 --> 00:29:20,652 requires great strength. 277 00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:23,092 Monsieur Ascher is a dipsomaniac. 278 00:29:23,117 --> 00:29:25,212 He has delirium tremens. 279 00:29:25,237 --> 00:29:28,371 He could not strike a match, let alone wield a knife. 280 00:29:28,396 --> 00:29:32,092 And where is the blood? He's not washed his hands. 281 00:29:32,117 --> 00:29:35,782 There would be blood ingrained in the beds of his fingernails, 282 00:29:35,807 --> 00:29:38,452 the skin of his knuckles, his wrists, 283 00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:42,621 the cuffs of his shirt. There would be blood everywhere. 284 00:29:42,646 --> 00:29:44,932 It isn't him. 285 00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:48,572 He bought some gloves and then he chucked them after. 286 00:29:48,597 --> 00:29:53,812 Mon dieu, Detective Bunce, you are no student of human frailty. 287 00:29:54,316 --> 00:29:58,062 Any money he has, he spends on his demon. 288 00:29:58,087 --> 00:29:59,982 On alcohol. 289 00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:01,782 He would not buy gloves. 290 00:30:01,807 --> 00:30:04,572 And the cash register was undisturbed. 291 00:30:04,597 --> 00:30:07,342 If money were the motive, he would have taken it. 292 00:30:11,597 --> 00:30:15,371 You reckon you know it all, don't you? Hm? 293 00:30:15,396 --> 00:30:18,291 Well, you don't. 294 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:19,892 Case closed. 295 00:31:12,157 --> 00:31:14,972 If Mum knew what you were really like, Betty. 296 00:31:17,077 --> 00:31:19,241 If Donald knew. 297 00:31:19,266 --> 00:31:20,802 He'll find out. 298 00:31:20,827 --> 00:31:24,052 But not before I get bored of him. Because he is boring, Megan. 299 00:31:24,077 --> 00:31:27,882 The only thing interesting about him is his pay packet. 300 00:31:27,907 --> 00:31:29,882 He is so boring. 301 00:31:29,907 --> 00:31:31,932 It's like talking to a plate. 302 00:31:31,957 --> 00:31:34,052 How did you put up with him? 303 00:31:34,077 --> 00:31:35,212 I loved him. 304 00:31:37,157 --> 00:31:41,882 All I had to do was click my fingers and he came running. 305 00:31:41,907 --> 00:31:44,361 Threw you over like you were nothing. 306 00:31:44,386 --> 00:31:47,002 I did you a favour there, Megan. 307 00:31:47,027 --> 00:31:51,002 One day you'll see that and maybe then you'll stop being 308 00:31:51,027 --> 00:31:54,212 such a sour, joyless, vinegar tits. 309 00:31:54,237 --> 00:31:56,932 Anyway 310 00:31:56,957 --> 00:31:59,052 sweet dreams. 311 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:28,900 _ 312 00:33:05,677 --> 00:33:10,491 "Hello, Hercule. What did you think of Mrs Ascher? 313 00:33:10,516 --> 00:33:12,962 "She made a terrible mess." 314 00:33:12,987 --> 00:33:17,161 "You know what's next, don't you? 315 00:33:17,186 --> 00:33:19,052 "B" 316 00:33:19,077 --> 00:33:22,161 "But which B? And when?" 317 00:33:23,547 --> 00:33:24,652 "Chin-chin." 318 00:33:28,077 --> 00:33:30,132 "A- 319 00:33:30,157 --> 00:33:32,522 B- 320 00:33:32,547 --> 00:33:33,602 C" 321 00:33:48,757 --> 00:33:51,772 I should see the other chap, eh? 322 00:33:51,797 --> 00:33:53,602 Were you fighting over a girl? 323 00:33:53,627 --> 00:33:55,491 No. 324 00:33:55,516 --> 00:33:57,082 Oh, that's a shame. 325 00:33:57,107 --> 00:33:59,802 Girls love being fought over. 326 00:33:59,827 --> 00:34:02,411 Makes us feel all wanted and desirable. 327 00:34:04,266 --> 00:34:06,732 What you got in there? 328 00:34:06,757 --> 00:34:08,522 Family silver? 329 00:34:10,316 --> 00:34:12,012 I'm in sales. 330 00:34:12,037 --> 00:34:13,371 I travel 331 00:34:13,396 --> 00:34:14,602 with what I sell. 332 00:34:14,627 --> 00:34:17,692 It's polite to use a girl's name, you know. 333 00:34:20,107 --> 00:34:21,882 Betty. 334 00:34:21,907 --> 00:34:23,802 Now we're friends. 335 00:34:23,827 --> 00:34:25,852 What do you sell, then? 336 00:34:35,186 --> 00:34:40,241 Miss Barnard, table nine is waiting. Just coming, Mrs Welk. 337 00:34:40,396 --> 00:34:43,732 Oh, I'm definitely keeping these. 338 00:34:43,757 --> 00:34:45,491 They're lovely. 339 00:34:45,516 --> 00:34:47,442 And very reasonably priced. 340 00:34:50,597 --> 00:34:52,652 I mean, if you're too busy now to get your purse, 341 00:34:52,677 --> 00:34:54,932 I can come back when you've finished your shift? 342 00:34:54,957 --> 00:34:58,012 Oh, no, I don't pay for things. 343 00:34:58,037 --> 00:34:59,882 Men give them to me. 344 00:34:59,907 --> 00:35:03,962 I can't. This is my livelihood. 345 00:35:03,987 --> 00:35:06,291 You're a virgin, aren't you? 346 00:35:07,436 --> 00:35:08,772 What? 347 00:35:08,797 --> 00:35:12,452 You should be grateful that anything you've touched is now touching me. 348 00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:18,572 This is the closest you're ever going to get to my legs. 349 00:35:18,597 --> 00:35:21,652 Now slither off and play with yourself thinking about that. 350 00:36:12,657 --> 00:36:15,271 And that's how you play backgammon. 351 00:36:29,097 --> 00:36:30,632 Not your night. 352 00:36:33,887 --> 00:36:35,752 You're breaking my heart. 353 00:37:07,817 --> 00:37:10,192 Thank you. 354 00:37:10,217 --> 00:37:12,192 Get your sweaty hands off me. 355 00:37:12,217 --> 00:37:14,122 You owe me for the stockings. 356 00:37:19,097 --> 00:37:22,151 Debt paid. Virgin. 357 00:37:38,457 --> 00:37:42,351 - Donald. - You're coming home with me. - Let go, you dozy bastard. 358 00:37:42,376 --> 00:37:45,872 You stay here, we're through... I won't marry you. 359 00:37:47,457 --> 00:37:50,151 Oh, my broken heart. 360 00:37:50,176 --> 00:37:53,872 I have a chap in here who's got more about him than you'll ever have. 361 00:37:53,897 --> 00:37:56,021 So off you trot and stop getting on my nerves. 362 00:38:02,937 --> 00:38:04,712 Don't run after him, Megan. 363 00:38:05,897 --> 00:38:07,792 Have some bloody dignity. 364 00:38:37,787 --> 00:38:41,072 "You know what's next, don't you? 365 00:38:41,097 --> 00:38:42,912 "B. 366 00:38:42,937 --> 00:38:45,712 "But which B?" 367 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:31,100 _ 368 00:39:31,125 --> 00:39:32,824 _ 369 00:40:16,506 --> 00:40:18,481 Who is she? 370 00:40:18,506 --> 00:40:20,021 Elizabeth Barnard. 371 00:40:20,046 --> 00:40:21,992 Known as Betty. 372 00:40:22,017 --> 00:40:24,351 She works down at the Ginger Cat Cafe. 373 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:30,000 _ 374 00:42:02,506 --> 00:42:04,351 My darling. 375 00:42:04,376 --> 00:42:07,642 My special darling baby! 376 00:42:07,667 --> 00:42:11,351 Who? Who would do something like this? 377 00:42:11,376 --> 00:42:12,762 Who? 378 00:42:16,417 --> 00:42:18,151 I've just been told. 379 00:42:18,176 --> 00:42:19,842 It can't be true. 380 00:42:19,867 --> 00:42:25,062 Someone took our girl from us, Donald. Our perfect angel! 381 00:42:27,817 --> 00:42:29,512 What are we going to do without her? 382 00:42:31,587 --> 00:42:33,592 I'll make some tea. 383 00:42:40,306 --> 00:42:43,281 I thought you might require some assistance. 384 00:42:46,056 --> 00:42:48,312 "Our special darling. 385 00:42:48,337 --> 00:42:49,872 "Our perfect angel." 386 00:42:49,897 --> 00:42:52,592 Betty wasn't either of those things. My sister was a slut. 387 00:42:52,617 --> 00:42:55,361 Mademoiselle, your sister is dead. 388 00:42:55,386 --> 00:42:57,512 She was still a slut. 389 00:42:57,537 --> 00:42:59,481 I can make the tea by myself. 390 00:43:15,947 --> 00:43:18,392 Do you want your walk? Mm? 391 00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:21,562 Do you? Oh, very well. 392 00:43:23,337 --> 00:43:24,922 I've finished my work. 393 00:43:24,947 --> 00:43:26,922 Would you mind if I joined you, Sir Carmichael? 394 00:43:26,947 --> 00:43:29,922 Not at all, but it is quite wild out there. 395 00:43:29,947 --> 00:43:31,952 Well, I could use the fresh air. 396 00:43:31,977 --> 00:43:34,082 And wild weather is exhilarating. 397 00:43:34,107 --> 00:43:37,872 Ha! Well, in that case, we'd love your company. 398 00:43:37,897 --> 00:43:40,722 Come on, Wilbur. Come on. 399 00:43:40,747 --> 00:43:42,432 Come on. 400 00:43:42,457 --> 00:43:43,512 Franklin? 401 00:43:48,256 --> 00:43:49,872 Go with them. 402 00:43:53,617 --> 00:43:56,592 You're the best brother-in-law a girl could have. 403 00:43:56,617 --> 00:43:59,592 Darling, I'm the only brother-in-law you have. 404 00:44:21,256 --> 00:44:26,512 ? I think of you, night and day 405 00:44:27,867 --> 00:44:30,512 ? Day and night ? 406 00:44:31,867 --> 00:44:34,442 You're Mr Cust. 407 00:44:34,467 --> 00:44:35,562 Yes. 408 00:44:37,027 --> 00:44:38,952 Is there something you want? 409 00:44:42,747 --> 00:44:45,442 - Is your mother in? - She's out. 410 00:44:45,467 --> 00:44:48,031 One of her meetings. She'll be ages 411 00:44:48,056 --> 00:44:51,002 and be rat-arsed when she gets in. 412 00:44:51,027 --> 00:44:52,122 I see. 413 00:44:55,467 --> 00:44:56,752 Did you want to book? 414 00:45:00,176 --> 00:45:02,512 Cos if you did, you could book direct with me. 415 00:45:02,537 --> 00:45:04,231 Then I could keep the money. 416 00:45:04,256 --> 00:45:06,312 It could be just our arrangement. 417 00:45:12,947 --> 00:45:15,562 She tell you what it was? 418 00:45:15,587 --> 00:45:16,952 Shilling for ordinary. 419 00:45:18,056 --> 00:45:20,231 This isn't ordinary. 420 00:45:20,256 --> 00:45:22,082 It never is, Mr Cust. 421 00:45:22,107 --> 00:45:23,752 It never is. 422 00:45:59,977 --> 00:46:02,442 I see what you're doing! Whore! 423 00:46:02,467 --> 00:46:04,642 For God's sake! I see what you are! Capstick! 424 00:46:04,667 --> 00:46:08,002 She's the secretary, she's staff. 425 00:46:08,027 --> 00:46:10,361 She's trying to take you away from me, Car. 426 00:46:10,386 --> 00:46:12,842 Come on, my darling. Come on, let's get you to bed. 427 00:46:12,867 --> 00:46:18,082 She can't wait for me to be dead. 428 00:46:28,157 --> 00:46:30,802 Sorry, Thora. She doesn't mean any of it. 429 00:46:30,827 --> 00:46:32,281 It's not really her speaking. 430 00:46:42,587 --> 00:46:43,722 Thank you, Lily. 431 00:46:43,747 --> 00:46:45,562 Mr Cust. 432 00:47:04,587 --> 00:47:06,752 Yes, Mr Treadgold. 433 00:48:24,177 --> 00:48:27,232 Warrant to search and seize evidence pertaining to crime, 434 00:48:27,257 --> 00:48:29,873 evidence which you have withheld from the proper authorities. 435 00:48:29,898 --> 00:48:35,093 When I tried to tell you about it, you told me it was April Fools' Day. 436 00:48:35,377 --> 00:48:38,843 Please listen to me, Inspector Crome. 437 00:48:38,868 --> 00:48:41,563 A copy of the ABC railway guide 438 00:48:41,588 --> 00:48:46,763 was left beside the bodies of both dead women. Do you know why? 439 00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:51,352 It is the killer telling us "les regles du jeu" 440 00:48:51,377 --> 00:48:53,313 the rules of the game. 441 00:48:53,338 --> 00:48:55,352 Every railway line, 442 00:48:55,377 --> 00:49:00,513 any station, in the country, all letters of the alphabet. 443 00:49:00,658 --> 00:49:03,793 - That is private! - Warrant. 444 00:49:11,538 --> 00:49:14,923 "Dear Monsieur Poirot, my wife and I think 445 00:49:14,948 --> 00:49:16,743 "you're really rather marvellous." 446 00:49:18,538 --> 00:49:21,232 Old fan letters. Sweet. 447 00:49:22,698 --> 00:49:24,873 Pack the lot. You don't need them. 448 00:49:24,898 --> 00:49:26,843 He knows you, 449 00:49:26,868 --> 00:49:28,102 the killer 450 00:49:30,127 --> 00:49:32,073 so we'll be going through everything. 451 00:49:32,098 --> 00:49:34,383 Nothing's private any more. 452 00:49:34,408 --> 00:49:36,713 This was on the mat. 453 00:49:36,738 --> 00:49:38,032 I'll read it to you. 454 00:49:40,228 --> 00:49:42,232 What is the postmark? 455 00:49:43,738 --> 00:49:46,352 Cricklewood. 456 00:49:46,377 --> 00:49:48,563 "Hello, Hercule." 457 00:49:48,588 --> 00:49:51,152 "Betty was a pretty girl, wasn't she? 458 00:49:51,177 --> 00:49:52,463 "There was a moment 459 00:49:52,488 --> 00:49:56,232 "when she realised that death was waiting with open arms. 460 00:49:56,257 --> 00:49:58,563 "She surrendered to me 461 00:49:58,588 --> 00:50:02,563 "and I leaned over her and inhaled her last breath 462 00:50:04,618 --> 00:50:08,793 "..drew it into my mouth and it tasted so sweet. 463 00:50:08,818 --> 00:50:11,393 "I felt my blood sing with its sweetness. 464 00:50:12,978 --> 00:50:14,793 "But I'm tired, Hercule, 465 00:50:14,818 --> 00:50:18,563 "so we'll have a little rest and we'll pick up where we left off. 466 00:50:20,818 --> 00:50:22,393 "Chin-chin." 467 00:50:32,257 --> 00:50:35,313 - Telephone the doctor now. - I'm not here for domestic duties. 468 00:50:35,338 --> 00:50:38,352 You telephone the doctor or get one of the maids to do it. 469 00:50:38,377 --> 00:50:40,753 I am carrying a bowl of her ladyship's blood that she's 470 00:50:40,778 --> 00:50:44,073 just coughed up and the maids are changing her blood-soaked sheets 471 00:50:44,098 --> 00:50:47,313 so get off your skinny arse and telephone the doctor. Now. 472 00:51:11,177 --> 00:51:13,313 Thora, tell him to hurry. 473 00:51:13,338 --> 00:51:15,203 She's in a lot of pain. 474 00:51:15,228 --> 00:51:17,003 Of course. 475 00:51:46,498 --> 00:51:49,593 I'll send a constable morning and evening to collect your post. 476 00:51:49,618 --> 00:51:52,362 And don't make any more day trips to crime scenes. 477 00:51:52,387 --> 00:51:54,643 You will not catch ABC without me. 478 00:51:54,668 --> 00:51:55,923 Yes, I will. 479 00:51:57,208 --> 00:52:00,753 My friend Inspector Japp had the grace and wit 480 00:52:00,778 --> 00:52:04,593 to know the limitations of his intellect. 481 00:52:04,618 --> 00:52:07,232 I wish you had one ounce of his humility. 482 00:52:08,668 --> 00:52:11,593 Your friend, Japp, who you deceived, who you lied to for years. 483 00:52:11,618 --> 00:52:12,953 I never lied. 484 00:52:12,978 --> 00:52:15,923 You told him you were a policeman in Belgium before the war, 485 00:52:15,948 --> 00:52:17,923 a detective, but you weren't. 486 00:52:17,948 --> 00:52:21,393 Questions were asked about you, high up in the food chain. 487 00:52:21,418 --> 00:52:25,032 Questions about me? Why? I have served this country. 488 00:52:25,057 --> 00:52:29,003 People don't like it when the force are made to look like half-wits 489 00:52:29,028 --> 00:52:30,593 by a foreigner. 490 00:52:30,618 --> 00:52:34,003 It's out of step with the public mood so questions were asked. 491 00:52:34,028 --> 00:52:36,313 Japp swore that you were genuine. 492 00:52:36,338 --> 00:52:39,003 That was him, loyal as a dog. 493 00:52:40,307 --> 00:52:44,313 But you were looked into and there's no record of you. 494 00:52:44,338 --> 00:52:48,433 You are lucky you never lived through an invasion. 495 00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:51,112 Things are burnt. Buildings. People. 496 00:52:51,137 --> 00:52:53,003 Records turned to ash. 497 00:52:53,028 --> 00:52:55,953 No-one had ever heard your name. 498 00:52:57,468 --> 00:52:59,593 No Hercule Poirot registered 499 00:52:59,618 --> 00:53:02,723 anywhere in the Belgian police before 1914. 500 00:53:02,748 --> 00:53:05,643 Japp staked his reputation, his whole career on you 501 00:53:05,668 --> 00:53:07,193 and that was him over. 502 00:53:07,218 --> 00:53:10,833 His funeral should have been packed, a guard of honour, 503 00:53:10,858 --> 00:53:14,753 but all he got was a handful of old timers and you and me. 504 00:53:14,778 --> 00:53:19,793 He didn't die of a heart attack. I reckon he just broke. 505 00:53:19,818 --> 00:53:22,473 And that's down to you and your lying. 506 00:53:22,498 --> 00:53:23,923 He told me none of this. 507 00:53:23,948 --> 00:53:25,923 Inspector Crome, 508 00:53:25,948 --> 00:53:28,443 I gave my word to the dead. 509 00:53:28,468 --> 00:53:32,282 I cannot abandon them. I must not. 510 00:53:34,057 --> 00:53:36,313 Your word is worthless. 511 00:53:37,778 --> 00:53:40,563 You're not who you say you are. 512 00:53:40,588 --> 00:53:42,032 Who the hell are you? 513 00:53:58,538 --> 00:54:00,193 Ils arrivent! 514 00:54:02,338 --> 00:54:03,673 Ils arrivent! 515 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,400 _ 516 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:16,700 *CREDITS*