1 00:00:07,179 --> 00:00:08,929 Previously on No Activity... 2 00:00:08,954 --> 00:00:11,437 It looks like my laptop was hacked. 3 00:00:11,462 --> 00:00:14,195 And the hacker activated the camera. 4 00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,601 You were jilling off. 5 00:00:15,626 --> 00:00:17,773 - Yeah, don't call it jilling off. - That's what it is. 6 00:00:17,798 --> 00:00:19,664 I mean, this is jacking off, this is jilling off. 7 00:00:19,689 --> 00:00:21,996 Half your softball team has gone down for corruption now. 8 00:00:22,186 --> 00:00:24,145 Throw me a block. Are you gonna ride with me? 9 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:25,844 Or are you gonna try your luck on your own? 10 00:00:26,812 --> 00:00:28,787 Another wise investment by Tolbeck. 11 00:00:28,812 --> 00:00:30,702 Man, you have been burning through the money lately. 12 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,867 Janice, he sent the video. 13 00:00:32,892 --> 00:00:34,676 Everyone in the office has the video. 14 00:00:34,816 --> 00:00:36,469 My name is Marco, I'm the new trainer. 15 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,585 My name is Frank. I don't get harassed. 16 00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:40,022 And I don't get fucking disrespected. 17 00:00:40,047 --> 00:00:41,678 - If you don't mind... - What the fuck? 18 00:00:41,703 --> 00:00:43,086 - Okay. - You can't take my picture. 19 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,373 I-I promise I'll erase it. 20 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,220 Frankie, I'm sorry to say, 21 00:00:46,245 --> 00:00:48,856 you've made the board. You're one of the bad guys. 22 00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:57,148 That is great coffee. 23 00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,103 Thank you so much. 24 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,984 My God, it's my pleasure. 25 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:04,289 Thank you guys... Thank you guys for having me. 26 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,554 This is, this is amazing. 27 00:01:05,579 --> 00:01:07,625 You guys just like, you have such, 28 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,625 like, amazing energy. 29 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,726 And I'm just, I just feel immersed in it. 30 00:01:11,858 --> 00:01:14,907 And this is just, it's really great for me to feed off of you guys. 31 00:01:14,932 --> 00:01:17,014 - You're super legit. Thank you. Cheers. - Yeah. 32 00:01:17,039 --> 00:01:18,488 - Hey, there we go. - Thank you. - Yeah. 33 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:21,140 - Well, we're big fans of your work, too, right? - Absolutely. 34 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:22,229 - Really? - Yeah. - It's a real honor 35 00:01:22,254 --> 00:01:23,299 to have you here with us. 36 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:24,984 So this is super weird. 37 00:01:25,009 --> 00:01:29,435 Maybe it's like a stereotype and I'm just, like, feeding into it, 38 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,687 but can-can we get doughnuts? 39 00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:33,779 - 'Cause we're cops. - Well, yeah, 'cause, you know, coffee and doughnuts. 40 00:01:33,804 --> 00:01:35,304 - Right. Right, right, right. - And you're, like, 41 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,146 doing stakeouts, and you, like, sit in the car and-and... 42 00:01:37,171 --> 00:01:39,031 I don't know if there's anywhere near here. 43 00:01:39,056 --> 00:01:41,257 There's one literally right there, right on the corner. 44 00:01:41,282 --> 00:01:43,234 It's just not the safest part of town, is all. 45 00:01:43,259 --> 00:01:44,953 You're so sweet for worrying about me. 46 00:01:44,978 --> 00:01:46,153 Well... 47 00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:47,983 My goodness. 48 00:01:50,101 --> 00:01:52,124 Well, she's nice. She's really nice. 49 00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:54,851 What has she been in? 50 00:01:54,876 --> 00:01:56,703 I don't know. I-I thought you knew. 51 00:01:56,728 --> 00:01:59,359 No. I just didn't want to seem rude. 52 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,426 Hey, is it me... 53 00:02:02,451 --> 00:02:04,945 or was there kind of a vibe going on there? 54 00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:07,364 - Between me and her? - No, between me and her. 55 00:02:07,389 --> 00:02:09,004 - Between you and her? - Yeah, I thought she 56 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,308 was maybe flirting with me a little bit. 57 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,848 Are you kidding me? 58 00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:12,973 No. 59 00:02:12,998 --> 00:02:14,782 She's, like, a major celebrity. 60 00:02:14,807 --> 00:02:16,387 You're a low-level detective. 61 00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:17,739 Okay. I-I'm being ridiculous. 62 00:02:17,764 --> 00:02:20,215 No, I'm kidding, there was a total vibe. 63 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,661 - Yeah? - Yeah. Dude, 64 00:02:21,686 --> 00:02:23,325 - when she touched your shoulder... - Yeah. 65 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,395 - I got a chill. - My God. 66 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:27,465 Okay. You think she'd like a guy like me? 67 00:02:27,490 --> 00:02:28,872 Yes. Are you...? 68 00:02:28,897 --> 00:02:31,434 - You got to stop undervaluing yourself. - Yeah. 69 00:02:31,459 --> 00:02:32,942 Dude, you're a total smoke show. 70 00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:34,333 - Don't say smoke show. - Go for it. 71 00:02:34,358 --> 00:02:36,000 Okay. Okay. I will. 72 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,418 - All right. - Okay. 73 00:02:37,692 --> 00:02:39,481 All right. Okay, I'm gonna, 74 00:02:39,506 --> 00:02:41,497 - I'm gonna give you guys some space, okay? - Yeah? 75 00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:43,622 - Let's come up with a code. - Okay, okay. 76 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,003 All right... 77 00:02:45,028 --> 00:02:46,098 - I got it. - Yeah. 78 00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:47,840 I'm gonna say, 79 00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:51,481 "Well, I think it's time for me to step out and have my cigar." 80 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,626 And then you'll say, 81 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,926 "Are you crazy? Those things will kill you." 82 00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,628 Okay. Why am I saying that? 83 00:02:59,653 --> 00:03:02,200 Because it just shows you have some compassion 84 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,512 - for other people. - Okay, okay. 85 00:03:03,537 --> 00:03:05,121 You care about my health, my well-being. 86 00:03:05,146 --> 00:03:07,098 Why a cigar, though? That seems a little silly. 87 00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:08,965 I mean, why don't you just step out and make a call? 88 00:03:08,990 --> 00:03:11,215 No, I'm gonna have my cigar, okay? 89 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,668 So it's not code at all? Y-You're gonna be smoking it. 90 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,622 When did you start smoking a cigar? 91 00:03:15,647 --> 00:03:17,040 It's been a few weeks. 92 00:03:17,065 --> 00:03:18,607 I just wanted to see what it looks like. 93 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,591 You know, see how I look with a cigar. 94 00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:23,293 Man, this is gonna be a great night for you. 95 00:03:23,318 --> 00:03:25,363 It's gonna be a fun, sexy night. 96 00:03:26,756 --> 00:03:28,715 I'm so excited for my man. 97 00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:30,046 Come on. 98 00:03:30,629 --> 00:03:32,411 Fun, sexy night. 99 00:03:32,436 --> 00:03:33,543 Yeah. 100 00:03:33,568 --> 00:03:34,903 You say it. Fun, sexy night. 101 00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:36,059 It's gonna be a fun, sexy night. 102 00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:37,476 Come on. Say it like you mean it. 103 00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:38,856 Fun, sexy night. 104 00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:46,379 I got to lay off these things. 105 00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:23,239 www.subtitulamos.tv 106 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,054 Fatima. 107 00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:33,168 - Hi. - Hi. 108 00:04:33,193 --> 00:04:34,981 Hi, I'm Hazel from HR. 109 00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:37,323 Yeah, that's right. 110 00:04:37,348 --> 00:04:38,614 I've heard so much. 111 00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:39,973 That's Janice's chair. 112 00:04:39,998 --> 00:04:41,430 No, she's working in my office today, 113 00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:43,108 just while we have this session. 114 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,168 - Are we doing this right here? - Yeah. 115 00:04:49,567 --> 00:04:51,299 It'll just be, like, a couple of questions 116 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,276 and then you'll sign a form, and I'll be gone. 117 00:04:53,301 --> 00:04:55,346 - It's really easy, okay. - Okay. 118 00:04:55,487 --> 00:04:57,097 So do you know why you're talking 119 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,037 to an HR representative today? 120 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,058 Yeah, the video hacking. 121 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,112 It was a video.. 122 00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:05,156 Did-did you not see it? 123 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:08,184 No, no. That would be receipt of pornography. 124 00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:10,353 - It's not... - Please describe for me 125 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:13,690 in your own words the offensive or inappropriate act? 126 00:05:13,715 --> 00:05:15,620 Well, I don't really... 127 00:05:15,645 --> 00:05:17,628 Fatima, don't be nervous. 128 00:05:17,653 --> 00:05:19,995 Whatever you have to say, I've heard it, like, a million times. 129 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,327 Honestly, it is my job, 130 00:05:22,352 --> 00:05:24,495 so just give it to me. 131 00:05:24,823 --> 00:05:26,369 No judgment. 132 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,838 Just for the paperwork. 133 00:05:27,863 --> 00:05:30,000 And it's safe. You're in a safe space. 134 00:05:31,924 --> 00:05:34,638 Well, girl, I was masturbating. 135 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:35,838 Gross. 136 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,384 Did you just say "gross"? 137 00:05:39,409 --> 00:05:42,708 Eh, I did, but that's just... It's a reflex. 138 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:45,362 I just, I think it's gross, but it's not, it's normal. 139 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,954 - It's normal. - Yeah. 140 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,026 Normal hormal. 141 00:05:49,284 --> 00:05:50,872 You're so normal. 142 00:05:52,768 --> 00:05:57,088 Which hand did you use when you masturbated? 143 00:05:57,113 --> 00:05:58,401 Is that a question? 144 00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:00,760 I ask the questions, not you. 145 00:06:00,807 --> 00:06:03,815 And it's not, I just know that I shook your hand when I came in, 146 00:06:04,159 --> 00:06:05,804 and I feel really weird. 147 00:06:06,057 --> 00:06:08,193 Can you pass me that? 148 00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,959 - Real quick. - Thank you. 149 00:06:10,391 --> 00:06:11,694 God, it's not contagious. 150 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,329 Just, thank you. It's okay. It's... 151 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,828 I just, I'd feel better if I just did this. 152 00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:15,925 It's cool, like... 153 00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:17,507 Okay. 154 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,596 How long have you been in HR? 155 00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:23,383 Gosh. Two days. 156 00:06:23,628 --> 00:06:25,318 But I was sick yesterday. 157 00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:29,563 SDPD's still on stakeout in the area. 158 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,349 Should we let them know we have an FBI operative inside? 159 00:06:32,374 --> 00:06:34,376 Negative. The less they know, the better. 160 00:06:34,401 --> 00:06:36,447 They wouldn't know their asses if it han... 161 00:06:37,466 --> 00:06:38,833 Shit. 162 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,443 Is everything all right? 163 00:06:41,325 --> 00:06:43,263 No. I just... 164 00:06:43,732 --> 00:06:45,372 I think I might have lost the bird. 165 00:06:45,397 --> 00:06:47,704 - No, are you sure? - Yeah. 166 00:06:47,729 --> 00:06:49,943 - Yeah, I'm gonna have to get back to you. - Okay. 167 00:06:49,968 --> 00:06:51,833 - Okay. - All right, talk later. 168 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,028 What's happening? 169 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:01,396 Where is Seņor Feathers? 170 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,458 Yeah. No, he's, like... 171 00:07:03,568 --> 00:07:05,309 He's in here somewhere. 172 00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:07,252 I let him out to stretch his legs. 173 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,810 Okay, so where the fuck is he? 174 00:07:08,835 --> 00:07:11,185 You know, you got to let him explore the environment, 175 00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:12,543 you know, get to know the ring, 176 00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:14,599 get to know the smells and the sounds 177 00:07:14,624 --> 00:07:16,628 and the tastes of the room. It's important for him, 178 00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,911 psychologically speaking, as a champion. 179 00:07:18,936 --> 00:07:20,646 Did you lose the fucking bird? 180 00:07:21,169 --> 00:07:22,075 No. 181 00:07:22,278 --> 00:07:23,464 Did I lose the bird? 182 00:07:23,935 --> 00:07:25,568 C-Classic. No. No, no, no. 183 00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:27,857 The bird is for sure here. 184 00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,333 Just give me a second. 185 00:07:29,358 --> 00:07:31,142 He's just probably playing hide-and-seek. 186 00:07:31,443 --> 00:07:34,466 Seņor? Hola, Seņor. 187 00:07:36,271 --> 00:07:37,357 SF? 188 00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:38,825 Are you whistling for the bird? 189 00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:40,303 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the way to get him. 190 00:07:40,328 --> 00:07:42,319 Come on, Seņor SF. 191 00:07:42,678 --> 00:07:43,854 Here we go. 192 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:48,095 Hey, Marco, can I ask you something else? 193 00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,140 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. 194 00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:50,319 - Fire away. Yeah. - Great. 195 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:51,872 How long you been training roosters? 196 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,780 I don't know. Since I was a kid. 197 00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,436 - Wow, since you were a kid. Okay. - Yeah. 198 00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:58,092 And how many rounds 199 00:07:58,117 --> 00:08:00,171 did Seņor Feathers go in his last fight? 200 00:08:00,196 --> 00:08:02,116 - In his last fight? - Yeah, if you had to guess. 201 00:08:02,461 --> 00:08:04,717 It wasn't many. He won very quick. 202 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,038 I'm gonna say, like, three rounds. 203 00:08:06,063 --> 00:08:07,616 - Wow. - Yeah. 204 00:08:07,898 --> 00:08:09,281 Wrong fucking answer! 205 00:08:09,306 --> 00:08:10,524 There are no fucking rounds. 206 00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:11,687 This is a fight to the death! 207 00:08:11,712 --> 00:08:13,323 Fuck. 208 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:18,249 Okay, fine. I'm sorry. This is my first fight. 209 00:08:19,952 --> 00:08:24,460 - Are you fucking kidding me? - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? 210 00:08:24,485 --> 00:08:26,487 Fucking shit. Do you understand 211 00:08:26,512 --> 00:08:28,765 what's at stake here, you little bitch? 212 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,010 Do you have any idea what the cartel would do 213 00:08:31,035 --> 00:08:33,690 if they found out how fucking inept you are at your job? 214 00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:34,779 I'll tell you what they'd do. 215 00:08:34,825 --> 00:08:37,218 Bang. Bang. 216 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,170 Bang. 217 00:08:39,788 --> 00:08:40,694 Okay, so... 218 00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:42,585 - That's a fucking gunshot. - Yeah, I get it. 219 00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:44,240 - You're dead. - No, I'm... Yes, I'm dead. You know what? 220 00:08:44,265 --> 00:08:46,273 - By way of gunshot. - I'm dead... 221 00:08:46,298 --> 00:08:48,474 You bled out from the head and from the dick. 222 00:08:48,583 --> 00:08:50,117 And joke's on them, okay? 223 00:08:50,265 --> 00:08:51,742 I'm gonna die at the head shot. 224 00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:53,593 I'm not gonna feel either of the two dick shots. 225 00:08:53,765 --> 00:08:56,468 I'm gonna go outside and I'm gonna find this bird. 226 00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:58,656 If I don't find it, I'm gonna come back 227 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,876 and we're gonna think of a solution to fix this problem. 228 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,806 If you don't find the fucking bird, 229 00:09:02,831 --> 00:09:04,529 don't bother coming back. 230 00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:08,577 Okay. You know, honestly, your leadership skills are lacking. 231 00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:11,958 You're not incentivizing me to fix this problem. 232 00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:14,476 Fuck you. Pussy. 233 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:17,406 Wow. 234 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:21,721 Seņor Feathers. Hola, Seņor. 235 00:09:21,953 --> 00:09:23,650 Maybe she's a singer. 236 00:09:23,967 --> 00:09:26,186 Why would a singer be doing a police ride-along? 237 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,820 If she was doing a album of cop songs, 238 00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:30,023 like The Police? 239 00:09:31,891 --> 00:09:33,980 They don't sing about cops, they're just... 240 00:09:34,005 --> 00:09:35,311 Here she comes, we should... 241 00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:37,671 D-D-D-Doughnuts. 242 00:09:37,696 --> 00:09:38,874 Okay. 243 00:09:38,899 --> 00:09:41,671 - I got all the things. - Here we go. 244 00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:44,046 Look at... this. 245 00:09:44,071 --> 00:09:45,171 - Wow. - My goodness. 246 00:09:45,196 --> 00:09:46,906 Blueberry, old-fashioned. 247 00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:48,648 And you... What is your specialty? 248 00:09:48,673 --> 00:09:50,288 I actually won't. I'm-I'm trying 249 00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:52,202 - to dodge the old gluten. - Come on. 250 00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:54,226 - Come on. - No, I'm sorry. No, I really... 251 00:09:54,251 --> 00:09:56,718 - One little tiny bite. - I got to stay the course. I mean... 252 00:09:56,743 --> 00:09:58,571 Just, like, a tiny, tiny one, just a little... 253 00:09:58,596 --> 00:10:00,182 No, I really shouldn't. I shouldn't. I... 254 00:10:00,207 --> 00:10:01,992 - Really? - Really, yeah, but thank you. 255 00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:03,398 I respect your restraint. 256 00:10:03,423 --> 00:10:04,992 - Thank you. - Fine. 257 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:06,831 I mean, you look like you're in pretty good shape 258 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,093 - anyway. - Well, thank you. You know, you got to... 259 00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:11,642 You got to keep it... you got to keep it tight-ish. 260 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,429 You know, things can get real at any moment. 261 00:10:13,454 --> 00:10:15,140 - Listen to him. - You know. So... 262 00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:17,538 - Look at those biceps. - I'm... It's... 263 00:10:17,563 --> 00:10:20,085 Just, like, giving us raw cop vibes. 264 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:22,234 I wish my co-star was more like you. 265 00:10:22,417 --> 00:10:25,148 Wait. I just got, like, the craziest idea. 266 00:10:25,173 --> 00:10:26,515 Here we go. 267 00:10:26,983 --> 00:10:28,507 I think you should be in the show. 268 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,367 - What show? - Like, you should play a cop in the show. 269 00:10:31,392 --> 00:10:33,546 You should be, like, one of the main characters in my show. 270 00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:34,528 In your show? In my show, yeah. 271 00:10:34,553 --> 00:10:38,440 - No, I can't do that. - Yeah, 100%. The director would love you. 272 00:10:38,465 --> 00:10:40,119 She's so into, like, 273 00:10:40,144 --> 00:10:43,984 realness and, like, not acting like an actor. 274 00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,593 - Well... - You're like a real cop. 275 00:10:45,618 --> 00:10:47,506 - I am a real cop. - I... yeah. 276 00:10:47,531 --> 00:10:48,663 - Yeah. - It's perfect. 277 00:10:48,688 --> 00:10:49,570 Really? 278 00:10:49,595 --> 00:10:50,671 What about that chin? 279 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,515 Especially because of the chin. 280 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:56,935 I mean, strong jawlines are out. 281 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,656 Everyone wants, like... 282 00:10:58,681 --> 00:11:01,327 you know, like a chin that's just, like, soft 283 00:11:01,352 --> 00:11:03,226 and-and unassuming, and that, like, 284 00:11:03,251 --> 00:11:05,265 it just sort of, like, melts into the neck. Yeah. 285 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,562 Everyone wants that? 286 00:11:06,587 --> 00:11:08,720 Yeah. That's the thing now. 287 00:11:08,745 --> 00:11:09,820 You know what? 288 00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:12,585 - We should take a headshot. - No. I mean, no. 289 00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:14,156 Yeah, we should do, like, a quick headshot. 290 00:11:14,181 --> 00:11:15,519 - Yes, we should. - That's crazy. 291 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:16,562 - Don't you think? - For him. 292 00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:18,617 - Okay. What should I do? - So, like... 293 00:11:18,642 --> 00:11:20,445 Okay. That, like, it's, like, you want to bone 294 00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:22,624 and you, like, have a secret. 295 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,627 - I want abone, or I...? - You want to bone. You want to... 296 00:11:24,652 --> 00:11:25,843 - I want tobone. - You want to bone me. 297 00:11:25,944 --> 00:11:27,424 - And you have a secret. - Okay, okay. 298 00:11:27,449 --> 00:11:28,929 - Like, that's how you look at me. - Okay. 299 00:11:34,788 --> 00:11:36,116 Nailed it. 300 00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:37,621 - Yeah? - Nail... Yeah, one take. 301 00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:39,517 - Look at you. - I could do more. I mean... 302 00:11:39,717 --> 00:11:42,242 Listen to you. You're, like, giving me options. 303 00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:44,486 You are a director's dream. 304 00:11:44,511 --> 00:11:46,273 This headshot is perfection. 305 00:11:46,298 --> 00:11:47,437 Okay. 306 00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:49,882 Except you have, like, a little... 307 00:11:50,984 --> 00:11:52,577 I can-I can touch that up, 308 00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:55,304 but you have, like, a little eyelash right here. 309 00:11:57,615 --> 00:11:59,791 You smell great. Do you wear cologne? 310 00:12:00,085 --> 00:12:02,538 - Yeah. - Yeah, it's... Keep doing that. 311 00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:03,915 - Okay. - All right, make a wish. 312 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,132 Okay. 313 00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:08,074 You're so cute. He's so cute. 314 00:12:08,099 --> 00:12:09,810 - He just closed his eyes. - No, I mean... 315 00:12:09,835 --> 00:12:11,489 - That was like a real wish? - Yeah. 316 00:12:11,514 --> 00:12:13,037 My God. 317 00:12:13,062 --> 00:12:14,672 My heart just broke in half. 318 00:12:15,241 --> 00:12:16,701 I can't, with you. 319 00:12:16,726 --> 00:12:18,357 No. I literally can't. 320 00:12:18,382 --> 00:12:21,029 - Shouldn't have to. - I think you'd be a really good dad. 321 00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:24,498 - Really? - Yeah, 'cause you kind of are giving me DILF vibes. 322 00:12:24,523 --> 00:12:26,654 Agent Code Name Goldilocks, I need a rooster, 323 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,812 - browny-black, stat. - Where am I gonna get a rooster now? 324 00:12:29,837 --> 00:12:31,880 I don't know, Helen, but you're my support, 325 00:12:31,905 --> 00:12:33,482 so how about supporting me and trying 326 00:12:33,507 --> 00:12:34,959 to find me a fucking rooster? 327 00:12:34,984 --> 00:12:36,349 All right, fine. I'm on it. 328 00:12:36,374 --> 00:12:38,685 Jesus, everything's a fucking drama with you. 329 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:39,710 Hello? 330 00:12:42,431 --> 00:12:43,724 I'm so sorry. I forgot. 331 00:12:43,749 --> 00:12:45,560 We have to record this session. 332 00:12:45,935 --> 00:12:47,193 Really? 333 00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:50,855 Two. Two. Yeah. 334 00:12:51,132 --> 00:12:53,576 Two. Okay. Okay. 335 00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:54,904 So, just to recap... 336 00:12:54,929 --> 00:12:58,367 The camera on your laptop recorded you... 337 00:12:59,435 --> 00:13:01,427 - I was masturbating. - Louder. 338 00:13:02,389 --> 00:13:04,990 - I... There's a mic right... - Yeah, it's old. 339 00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,951 It's just such an old machine. 340 00:13:07,935 --> 00:13:10,740 I... I was mastur... 341 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:14,130 - I was mas... - Just a couple more times. I think we got it. 342 00:13:14,155 --> 00:13:16,638 I was... masturbat... Okay. 343 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:17,771 You know what? I don't think we got it. 344 00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,406 That... Well, keep going. 345 00:13:20,110 --> 00:13:21,646 So, do you think that masturbating 346 00:13:21,671 --> 00:13:23,586 for your co-workers was A: Appropriate, 347 00:13:23,705 --> 00:13:25,793 B: Not appropriate, 348 00:13:25,818 --> 00:13:27,193 or C: Not sure? 349 00:13:27,218 --> 00:13:30,474 I wasn't masturbating for my co-workers. 350 00:13:30,499 --> 00:13:32,755 That's... I was hacked. 351 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,584 Would you say C: Not sure, then? 352 00:13:34,609 --> 00:13:37,090 No. I would... I am not answering the question. 353 00:13:37,115 --> 00:13:39,107 I don't believe in the premise of the question. 354 00:13:39,132 --> 00:13:42,135 Was M-bating for your colleagues on camera 355 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,206 A: To impress them, B: To degrade them, 356 00:13:44,231 --> 00:13:46,233 C: To get promoted, D: Not sure? 357 00:13:46,966 --> 00:13:48,779 Don't say "D." 358 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,435 Okay, I'm just gonna put "A," 359 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:57,646 because, the guys in my office were really impressed. 360 00:13:58,809 --> 00:14:00,028 A. 361 00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:06,821 All right. 362 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,612 Did I tell you I'd find the bird, or what? 363 00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:13,359 Say welcome back to Seņor Feathers. 364 00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,157 That's not Seņor Feathers. 365 00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:20,947 - What? Of course it is. - It's 100% not. 366 00:14:20,972 --> 00:14:23,168 I don't know who that bird is, but it's not Seņor Feathers. 367 00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,603 - How do you know? - How do I know? 368 00:14:25,628 --> 00:14:28,196 Yeah. I run cockfights. I know a fucking fighting bird 369 00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:30,441 when I see one. I'm the Jay Gatsby of cockfighting. 370 00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:32,306 This bird may as well have a fucking iron spike 371 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:34,048 shoved up its ass and be on the top of a barn. 372 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,674 Okay. Wow. 373 00:14:35,699 --> 00:14:39,766 - Wait. Did you just fucking coo at me? - Nah. 374 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,231 - You little bitch. - I don't think so. 375 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,603 - What, are you fucking trying to imprint on me? - No. 376 00:14:42,628 --> 00:14:45,416 I'm not your new mom, you piece of garbage shit bird. 377 00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:49,801 Where did you get this fucking bird? 378 00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:51,728 - What? - It smells shampooed. 379 00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:53,471 - Nah. - Is this someone's fucking pet? 380 00:14:53,496 --> 00:14:55,120 - I don't think so. - You don't think so? 381 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:58,148 - I know it's not. - It smells like ocean breeze. 382 00:14:58,173 --> 00:14:59,874 Maybe Seņor Feathers was just on vacation. 383 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,378 Where the fuck did you get this bird? 384 00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,284 Okay, okay, fine, all right? 385 00:15:03,309 --> 00:15:06,565 It's not Seņor Feathers. Busted. You got me, all right? 386 00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:09,332 I got it from the zoo, okay? The San Diego Zoo. I've got a guy 387 00:15:09,357 --> 00:15:10,830 who hooks me up with animals. 388 00:15:10,855 --> 00:15:13,104 Listen to me, you fucking turd person. 389 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,628 While you were skipping around the San Diego Zoo, I got word 390 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,004 that Big Boy is feeling better, and the fight is back on 391 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,267 for tomorrow night. Meanwhile, we're sitting here 392 00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:21,877 with our fucking dicks in our hands 393 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,445 with a bird from the fucking petting zoo. 394 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,463 It's the premier zoo in the western hemisphere. 395 00:15:26,488 --> 00:15:28,995 Shut the fuck up. We have 24 hours 396 00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:31,065 to turn this soft cock into a fighting bird, 397 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:33,570 or he is dead and we are fucking dead. 398 00:15:33,748 --> 00:15:36,252 Do you understand that part... That we will cease to live? 399 00:15:36,277 --> 00:15:37,888 - Okay. - Our lives will be taken from us. 400 00:15:37,913 --> 00:15:39,739 Okay, you're being really negative, 401 00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,612 and I don't want to say anything, but it might be 402 00:15:41,637 --> 00:15:43,330 affecting the bird's performance in the ring. 403 00:15:43,355 --> 00:15:47,768 - Suck my dick. - I am literally doing the best that I can, 404 00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,403 and I would appreciate your support. 405 00:15:49,428 --> 00:15:52,603 If this was my best, I would kill myself. 406 00:15:52,775 --> 00:15:55,712 So, yes, one time we had to sleep in the same bed. We had... 407 00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,304 - Really? - Yeah, it was... 408 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,108 - On a fishing trip, or...? - Yeah, it was fishing, yeah. 409 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,220 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. 410 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,004 - Wow. - Hey. 411 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,180 - Hey. - Where'd you go? 412 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:06,835 Nothing. Just cop stuff. 413 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,141 He had to empty his pee bottle. 414 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:09,838 - My God. Really? - Yeah. 415 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,468 You-you guys pee in bottles? 416 00:16:11,493 --> 00:16:12,667 For real? 417 00:16:12,692 --> 00:16:14,181 - Wow. - Yeah, yeah, we have to. 418 00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,863 You know, we stay here for such long hours, 419 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,474 you know, we got to... got to go, and then we... 420 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,779 We empty it when we get the chance. Yeah. 421 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,675 - Wow. That's so intense. - Yeah. 422 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,807 So, I don't... 423 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:25,201 I want to... I want to ask you guys something, 424 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,594 but I just... I think it's... 425 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,074 It's, like, kind of awkward. 426 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,684 No. Come on, we've been talking. 427 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,638 - Nothing is weird. What is...? - It's silly. 428 00:16:32,194 --> 00:16:34,138 Can-can I hold your gun? 429 00:16:35,624 --> 00:16:37,148 No. I'm sorry. It's... 430 00:16:37,173 --> 00:16:38,914 It's, like, weird. 431 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,435 No, no, no. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's like... 432 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,065 It's just, the department, you know... 433 00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,631 - It's pretty strict about that kind of thing. - Yeah. 434 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,068 Yeah. I mean, as they should. 435 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,354 - Right. - It's, like, a gun. 436 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:48,679 You know, I don't really believe in them, 437 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,313 and I would never own a gun 438 00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:51,706 in my-in my real, actual life... 439 00:16:51,731 --> 00:16:52,824 - Right... - but I'm playing a cop, 440 00:16:52,849 --> 00:16:56,378 - and I have to, you know, be authentic and-and... - Yeah. 441 00:16:56,403 --> 00:16:58,275 Maybe I'm-I'm just, like, being too actressy, 442 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,081 - and I'm just, like, you know... - No, no, no, no, no. And I would love 443 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,238 to help you. I mean, I'd really... I mean, 444 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,347 - really, but, you know, rules are rules, so... - Yeah, yeah. 445 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,547 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Totally. Totally get it. 446 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:07,956 I get it. It's fine. 447 00:17:09,371 --> 00:17:11,978 - Well, maybe just for a second... - My gosh, 448 00:17:12,003 --> 00:17:14,097 - that would be awesome. - No, no. I mean... 449 00:17:14,122 --> 00:17:16,124 No. I mean, we... we... 450 00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:17,617 Yeah. I'll just... No. Look, how about this, 451 00:17:17,642 --> 00:17:19,557 how about this, how about this. 452 00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:22,097 Here we go. I will take out the bullets, 453 00:17:22,122 --> 00:17:24,183 and then, you can... you can have a quick hold. 454 00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:25,706 - No. - No? 455 00:17:25,731 --> 00:17:27,542 No, it's not, like... I'm just... 456 00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:31,702 I'm really just searching for that, like, authentic police experience. 457 00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:34,206 And I just want the real thing, you know? 458 00:17:34,231 --> 00:17:36,943 Like, I want to hold a real firearm... 459 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,493 like yours... you know? 460 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:40,589 Yeah. 461 00:17:40,614 --> 00:17:42,200 I just want to know what that feels like. 462 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,175 - Yeah. - Yeah. 463 00:17:44,589 --> 00:17:45,865 I get it. 464 00:17:46,597 --> 00:17:47,936 Well... 465 00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:50,919 just for a second. 466 00:17:50,952 --> 00:17:52,208 - Okay, Dad. - Okay? 467 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,042 - Okay. - Okay. 468 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:56,871 Here we go. Safety's on. 469 00:17:57,112 --> 00:17:59,740 - Feels so good. - Yeah. I'll just... 470 00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,341 My God. Let me take it back. 471 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,699 Wow. It's just... 472 00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:05,644 So, there's this one scene. 473 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,105 It's, like, my opening scene. 474 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:08,449 You know, it's, like, my big scene. 475 00:18:08,474 --> 00:18:12,003 And I have to, like, go in with two guns 476 00:18:12,028 --> 00:18:13,878 and, like, shoot the bad guys. 477 00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:15,191 You know, with a gun in each hand. 478 00:18:15,216 --> 00:18:16,565 Can I...? Do you mind? 479 00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:17,785 - Yeah, sure. - I don't think... No, no. 480 00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,472 - My God, thank you. - You're welcome. 481 00:18:19,497 --> 00:18:21,253 This is fucking intoxicating. 482 00:18:21,278 --> 00:18:23,019 Yeah, it can be. It can be. Yeah. 483 00:18:23,044 --> 00:18:24,741 Okay, we'll grab 'em back? 484 00:18:24,766 --> 00:18:27,488 My God. Just, like, give me a minute. 485 00:18:31,072 --> 00:18:32,551 You know what's crazy? 486 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,437 I could just, like, snap, 487 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:36,972 and, like, kill you both right now. 488 00:18:36,997 --> 00:18:38,476 Isn't that insane? 489 00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:40,410 So... Okay, lady, you're scaring me. 490 00:18:40,435 --> 00:18:42,714 Can I please have my gun back? Thank you. 491 00:18:44,024 --> 00:18:45,329 Bang! 492 00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:48,506 - Okay. - You're dead! 493 00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:52,675 Okay, now that your partner's dead, what do you do? 494 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:57,331 In this situation here, you shot my partner. 495 00:18:57,356 --> 00:18:58,988 - Yeah. - I would check his vitals. 496 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,392 - His vitals? His vitals? - And... 497 00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,751 His brains are everywhere. 498 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,261 Well, maybe you just grazed me. 499 00:19:05,286 --> 00:19:06,831 Shut the fuck up! 500 00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:08,167 You're dead! 501 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:10,980 Not a peep. 502 00:19:12,199 --> 00:19:13,480 Close your eyes. 503 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,518 Be dead. 504 00:19:18,386 --> 00:19:19,480 So, now what? 505 00:19:19,505 --> 00:19:21,066 Well, I would negotiate with you 506 00:19:21,091 --> 00:19:22,925 in a calm and reasonable manner. 507 00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:25,015 I don't even know what you mean. There's no negotiating. 508 00:19:25,213 --> 00:19:28,085 - Okay, I see. Hypothetically, I get it. - No, this is... 509 00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,677 There's no hypothetical. This is the reality of the situation. 510 00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:33,777 You gave me your loaded gun, 511 00:19:33,802 --> 00:19:37,316 and now it's pointed at your skull. 512 00:19:37,341 --> 00:19:39,042 That's what's happening right now. 513 00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:40,850 So you do what I say. 514 00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:43,074 And I say... 515 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,109 What do I say? 516 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,490 Doughnuts. 517 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:47,980 - Sure. - The doughnuts. 518 00:19:48,005 --> 00:19:49,722 - Do you remember those? - Yeah. Yeah. 519 00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:50,925 - Yeah. - Yeah. 520 00:19:50,949 --> 00:19:53,855 See, earlier, I wanted you to eat the doughnuts. 521 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,347 You were like, "No, thank you. 522 00:19:56,372 --> 00:19:58,363 No, I'm gluten-free." 523 00:19:58,388 --> 00:20:00,259 - Like a little pussy. - Right. 524 00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,058 But now you're gonna eat the fucking doughnuts. 525 00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:03,998 - Okay. - So pick up the doughnut, 526 00:20:04,439 --> 00:20:06,267 stick it in your fucking mouth, 527 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,534 and chew. 528 00:20:07,988 --> 00:20:09,066 Go. 529 00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:13,113 Faster. Eat it faster. 530 00:20:13,138 --> 00:20:14,748 - Come on. Eat up, boy. - Okay. 531 00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:18,410 Eat 'er up. Come on, come on. Eat up. 532 00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:20,144 Eat it faster. 533 00:20:21,401 --> 00:20:23,581 All right, now you need something to wash it down. 534 00:20:27,373 --> 00:20:29,506 How about... how about that... 535 00:20:29,531 --> 00:20:31,503 the bottle of piss that's under your seat. 536 00:20:31,528 --> 00:20:33,144 I emptied mine out earlier, so... 537 00:20:33,169 --> 00:20:35,488 - Right, you did. But your partner didn't. - Yeah. 538 00:20:36,877 --> 00:20:38,385 Get the piss bottle. 539 00:20:38,941 --> 00:20:41,363 Don't talk. Get the piss bottle. 540 00:20:41,388 --> 00:20:44,464 - You took it out, didn't you? Emptied it out. - No. No. He didn't. 541 00:20:50,967 --> 00:20:52,578 I don't need to drink the piss. 542 00:20:52,603 --> 00:20:53,928 - Drink his piss. - I don't... There's... 543 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,794 Drink his fucking piss! 544 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,785 - Now! - Okay. 545 00:21:01,191 --> 00:21:04,237 Drink it up. Drink it up. 546 00:21:06,471 --> 00:21:07,964 Why didn't you fucking empty your bottle? 547 00:21:07,989 --> 00:21:09,686 Don't talk to him. He's dead. 548 00:21:10,904 --> 00:21:12,058 Drink it up. 549 00:21:20,643 --> 00:21:22,863 - Okay, Hazel? - Yeah. 550 00:21:23,102 --> 00:21:26,050 My computer was hacked. That's the offense here. 551 00:21:26,075 --> 00:21:28,988 The fact that I was masturbating with whatever pillows. 552 00:21:29,013 --> 00:21:32,699 Doesn't even matter. It-it shouldn't be on trial. 553 00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:34,144 I-I shouldn't be on trial here for that. 554 00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,066 Totally. No one wants this to go to trial. 555 00:21:36,091 --> 00:21:38,605 That's why we're here. Next question. 556 00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:40,728 Do you have cultural reasons 557 00:21:40,753 --> 00:21:42,839 for masturbating? Yes or no? 558 00:21:42,864 --> 00:21:44,722 Okay, Hazel... 559 00:21:45,479 --> 00:21:47,885 you, like, showed up really unexpectedly 560 00:21:47,910 --> 00:21:49,949 in the middle of me working, 561 00:21:49,974 --> 00:21:51,878 and-and then you make me say the word 562 00:21:51,903 --> 00:21:53,738 "masturbation," like, ten times, 563 00:21:53,763 --> 00:21:56,152 which is so embarrassing for me. 564 00:21:56,177 --> 00:21:59,488 I feel like you, who is in HR, 565 00:21:59,513 --> 00:22:01,371 in sensitivity training, is, like... 566 00:22:01,396 --> 00:22:03,354 like, one of the most insensitive people. 567 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,777 This is, like, really upsetting. 568 00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:08,109 Do you get that I'm, like, really upset by this? 569 00:22:08,242 --> 00:22:10,574 - Are you upset? - Yes! 570 00:22:10,599 --> 00:22:12,652 What are you, freaking autistic or something? 571 00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:19,230 You shouldn't have called me freaking autistic. 572 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,121 I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have said that. 573 00:22:21,146 --> 00:22:22,713 So, we have to get another form... 574 00:22:23,272 --> 00:22:25,926 because you did that... to me. 575 00:22:26,402 --> 00:22:27,863 Hate speech. 576 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:31,113 The autistic one's an A-24. That's a big form. 577 00:22:31,223 --> 00:22:32,877 Do you have dinner plans tonight? 578 00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:34,932 - No. - Well, cancel them. 579 00:22:45,369 --> 00:22:47,542 All done? Yeah? 580 00:22:47,925 --> 00:22:50,621 Yeah, all done. All done. No more. 581 00:22:51,988 --> 00:22:53,511 Which one was your favorite? 582 00:22:54,586 --> 00:22:56,260 Which one was your favorite? 583 00:22:56,684 --> 00:22:58,771 The-the third one to the last. 584 00:22:58,949 --> 00:23:00,553 Antepenultimate. 585 00:23:00,596 --> 00:23:02,675 - Yeah, that's what that means. - Yeah. Yeah. 586 00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:05,138 Third one to last. Antepenultimate. 587 00:23:05,390 --> 00:23:08,636 - And fourth to last is preantepenultimate. - Okay. 588 00:23:08,912 --> 00:23:11,044 I love words. It's kind of pretentious, but... 589 00:23:11,566 --> 00:23:12,886 you know, for us actors 590 00:23:12,911 --> 00:23:14,738 words are our weapons. 591 00:23:15,698 --> 00:23:18,048 So, how are we gonna get out of this? 592 00:23:18,389 --> 00:23:21,621 We've established that I'm the one in power 593 00:23:21,646 --> 00:23:23,317 and you're weak as fuck. 594 00:23:23,342 --> 00:23:24,735 - Right. - Right? 595 00:23:24,975 --> 00:23:26,285 - Yeah. - Can you say that? 596 00:23:26,627 --> 00:23:29,543 Say, "I'm weak as fuck, like a widdle baby." 597 00:23:29,568 --> 00:23:30,786 I'm weak as fuck. 598 00:23:30,811 --> 00:23:33,231 - Like a widdle baby. - Like a little baby. 599 00:23:33,256 --> 00:23:34,942 Like a widdle baby. 600 00:23:34,967 --> 00:23:36,446 Like a widdle baby. 601 00:23:36,471 --> 00:23:37,801 That's right. 602 00:23:37,826 --> 00:23:39,379 So, I guess the only way 603 00:23:39,404 --> 00:23:41,629 to really get out of this is to beg. 604 00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:43,496 - You want me to beg? Okay. - Beg for your fucking life. 605 00:23:43,521 --> 00:23:44,856 Okay. I'm s... 606 00:23:45,277 --> 00:23:47,488 I'm sor... Could you please not shoot me? 607 00:23:47,786 --> 00:23:49,471 Don't fucking cough. 608 00:23:50,020 --> 00:23:51,692 Or swallow. 609 00:23:51,756 --> 00:23:53,497 Or blink... 610 00:23:53,864 --> 00:23:55,121 you corpse. 611 00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,371 You're not taking me seriously. 612 00:23:58,396 --> 00:23:59,934 - No, I am. - This is crazy. 613 00:23:59,959 --> 00:24:02,744 - No, I am. - After all this time, you're treating me like this? 614 00:24:03,159 --> 00:24:05,237 - Like I'm a fucking joke? - No, you're not a joke. 615 00:24:05,271 --> 00:24:07,465 - Is that what's happening right now? - No, no, no, you're not a joke. 616 00:24:07,490 --> 00:24:08,926 Beg for your fucking life! 617 00:24:09,035 --> 00:24:10,993 - Three, two, one! - Wait, no, no, no! 618 00:24:11,018 --> 00:24:12,301 Please don't shoot me! Please don't shoot me! 619 00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:14,239 I'm so sorry. Please, I beg you. I beg you. 620 00:24:14,264 --> 00:24:16,223 Please. Please, let me live. 621 00:24:16,314 --> 00:24:17,621 Please let me live. 622 00:24:17,646 --> 00:24:20,590 I-I have done nothing worthwhile in my life. 623 00:24:20,615 --> 00:24:23,090 I know that. I haven't done anything good. 624 00:24:23,115 --> 00:24:26,020 And I'm 42, and that's just shameful, and I am ashamed. 625 00:24:26,045 --> 00:24:28,481 I am ashamed that I haven't done anything good in my life, okay? 626 00:24:28,506 --> 00:24:29,496 And I was... I meant to. 627 00:24:29,521 --> 00:24:31,090 I always meant to do something good, 628 00:24:31,115 --> 00:24:33,465 and I just never got... I just never did it. 629 00:24:33,627 --> 00:24:35,629 'Cause I... When I was a kid, I just, I thought... 630 00:24:35,654 --> 00:24:38,012 I thought I would never grow old, and now I'm old. 631 00:24:38,037 --> 00:24:39,661 I mean, I'm half-old, and I'm just... 632 00:24:39,686 --> 00:24:41,207 I feel like I've never done anything. 633 00:24:41,232 --> 00:24:42,418 And I wanted to be in the FBI. 634 00:24:42,443 --> 00:24:43,684 I wanted to be the head of the FBI, 635 00:24:43,709 --> 00:24:45,192 and I wanted them to name an airport after me, 636 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,028 but the FBI, they wouldn't take me. 637 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:48,489 They wouldn't take me when I was younger, 638 00:24:48,514 --> 00:24:50,348 so I'm hoping I get in this time, 'cause... 639 00:24:50,715 --> 00:24:52,184 you know, life got in the way. 640 00:24:52,209 --> 00:24:55,231 You know, my dad got sick. You know, life got really hard, 641 00:24:55,408 --> 00:24:56,707 and I got lazy. 642 00:24:56,732 --> 00:24:58,754 And I know that, and I'm... I've been... 643 00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,637 I'm so sorry. I'm... 644 00:25:01,369 --> 00:25:02,793 Feeling this gun against my head, 645 00:25:02,818 --> 00:25:05,098 I just feel like I-I know... I know I haven't done anything, 646 00:25:05,123 --> 00:25:06,481 and I know I will do something, please, 647 00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:07,715 if you just don't kill me. I will, I will not... 648 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:08,959 I will do something good. 649 00:25:08,984 --> 00:25:10,434 I promise you, I promise you, 650 00:25:10,459 --> 00:25:12,331 I will do something good. 651 00:25:12,356 --> 00:25:16,309 Please, please, please, please, 652 00:25:16,554 --> 00:25:19,301 please, please, please, please, 653 00:25:19,326 --> 00:25:22,434 please, please, please, please, 654 00:25:22,459 --> 00:25:23,903 please, don't kill me. 655 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:26,012 Please. 656 00:25:31,737 --> 00:25:32,781 Okay. 657 00:25:34,435 --> 00:25:35,801 That was really good. 658 00:25:36,192 --> 00:25:38,928 That was totally believable. 659 00:25:40,801 --> 00:25:42,011 Thank you. 660 00:25:42,351 --> 00:25:45,485 And thank you for these. 661 00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:47,801 That was awesome. 662 00:25:47,826 --> 00:25:49,611 This was, like, the best. 663 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:51,957 A once-in-a-lifetime experience. 664 00:25:51,982 --> 00:25:54,707 I will never forget this. This was so cool. 665 00:25:54,732 --> 00:25:56,098 Okay, thank you. 666 00:25:56,123 --> 00:25:59,121 Thank you. I mean, I just feel like we had, 667 00:25:59,146 --> 00:26:00,669 I don't know, like... 668 00:26:01,104 --> 00:26:02,996 I just feel connected to you in some way. 669 00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,786 I-I don't... Do you feel it, too? 670 00:26:04,811 --> 00:26:07,637 - Yeah. - Like, maybe we had, like, a past life... 671 00:26:07,662 --> 00:26:09,051 - thing. - Yeah. 672 00:26:09,076 --> 00:26:11,078 - Yeah. We should hang out. - I think so. 673 00:26:11,103 --> 00:26:12,871 I'd love that. Like, we-we should all hang out. 674 00:26:12,896 --> 00:26:15,090 - Like, game night at my house or something. - That'd be great. 675 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:17,450 And you can come, too. Like, it can be so fun. 676 00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:19,250 - Thank you so much. - Yeah. 677 00:26:19,275 --> 00:26:20,606 - Okay, cool. - Okay. 678 00:26:20,631 --> 00:26:22,590 All right. So, I'm gonna go, 679 00:26:22,615 --> 00:26:25,340 and... I'm gonna miss you guys. 680 00:26:25,567 --> 00:26:27,472 - So... - Well, I-I'm sorry. I forgot something. 681 00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:28,745 It's time for my cigar. 682 00:26:28,778 --> 00:26:30,258 No, no, no, no, it's okay. 683 00:26:30,335 --> 00:26:31,379 - No. Just... - All right. 684 00:26:31,404 --> 00:26:32,666 . Okay, bye. - Cool. 685 00:26:33,011 --> 00:26:34,668 Okay. Pound it. 686 00:26:36,457 --> 00:26:37,683 All right. 687 00:26:38,604 --> 00:26:40,800 - Bye, guys. - Bye. - Bye. 688 00:26:45,629 --> 00:26:48,660 Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not going to game night. 689 00:26:49,283 --> 00:26:50,535 I'll go if you go 690 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,574 and you want me to come to keep you company, but... 691 00:26:54,031 --> 00:26:55,685 No, I'm not going to game night. 692 00:26:57,239 --> 00:26:59,035 You know, the more I think about it, 693 00:26:59,060 --> 00:27:00,761 I really don't like her for you. 694 00:27:01,624 --> 00:27:03,284 I think you can do better. 695 00:27:03,645 --> 00:27:05,879 Well, you know, different. 696 00:27:09,082 --> 00:27:11,785 A little bit on the wild side. 697 00:27:12,263 --> 00:27:13,519 A little bit. 698 00:27:14,491 --> 00:27:17,191 Well, we learned that... 699 00:27:17,216 --> 00:27:19,074 Never give your gun to anyone, 700 00:27:19,099 --> 00:27:21,589 regardless of how nice they are to you. 701 00:27:21,894 --> 00:27:24,348 Because it'll always end up in tears. 702 00:27:27,559 --> 00:27:31,432 Cullen. Cullen. Cullen. 703 00:27:32,293 --> 00:27:34,675 - Cullen. - Stop it, Tolbeck. 704 00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:36,808 My God, I just realized who that was. 705 00:27:36,833 --> 00:27:39,574 That was Jessica Alba, the actress. 706 00:27:39,599 --> 00:27:41,808 My God. That's a great story. 707 00:27:41,833 --> 00:27:44,589 No, it's not. I drank your piss. 708 00:27:44,614 --> 00:27:46,529 Okay, that part of it is not great, but... 709 00:27:46,554 --> 00:27:49,175 Jessica Alba... she made you drink my piss. 710 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,730 That's one for the grandkids. 711 00:27:50,755 --> 00:27:52,322 No, it's fucking not! 712 00:27:52,346 --> 00:27:59,400 www.subtitulamos.tv