1
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,840
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

2
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:08,360
OK, I'm back.

3
00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:11,360
I can tell you're not
really working, bitch.

4
00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:12,999
I know about iMessage for the computer.

5
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,899
That's how I failed to absorb the
last month of my gov seminar.

6
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,560
Was that what you were wearing?

7
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,769
I just got out of my stats midterm.

8
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:23,560
- Was that relevant?
- I don't know, bitch.

9
00:01:23,660 --> 00:01:24,699
Was it relevant?

10
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:26,649
This is the 500th time
you've made me do this.

11
00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:29,279
Maybe that's the detail that
finally makes sense to you.

12
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Oh, also, I broke my
pencil lead in the exam,

13
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and I had to get get a
refill, so I had to click it

14
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really loudly for like 30 seconds,

15
00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:38,689
and that stress might
have damaged my psyche.

16
00:01:38,690 --> 00:01:41,020
Also, I had a chicken
Caesar salad for dinner.

17
00:01:41,030 --> 00:01:43,129
I couldn't quite make out the
expiration date on the dressing,

18
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:45,759
so I may be battling the
early stages of E. coli.

19
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Is that relevant?

20
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,300
I forgot what an asshole I was.

21
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,899
Not an asshole. I'm just
trying to make sure

22
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:53,540
that no stone is left unturned
for the great wise elder.

23
00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:54,559
The sooner you get this done,

24
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,379
the sooner you can get
on with your life.

25
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,710
I'm really shitting my pants

26
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,909
in anticipation of getting here.

27
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Well, you should, because
you're a writer now.

28
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,220
A playwright. There.
I'll tell you that much.

29
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,400
Sick! Does that mean I don't
have to go to law school?

30
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,850
Well, you might, if you
don't crack this story

31
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and your agent drops you
and you get blacklisted

32
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,690
from the entire industry,

33
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,420
which is why I actually need
you to work with me right now.

34
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OK?

35
00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,729
I'm sorry, um...

36
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I'm just trying to figure this out,

37
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and I'm missing something.

38
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OK, well, for the record,

39
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this is what I was wearing that day.

40
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This is what I would call the
"dress for success" model.

41
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,609
I read this article
before I took the SATs,

42
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and it said that if you dress
professionally before an exam,

43
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you'll subliminally make yourself
more confident and do better.

44
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I've been doing it ever since.
I got a 2370, as you know,

45
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and I'm pretty sure I just knocked
my stats midterm out of the park.

46
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Anyway, that's what I was wearing.

47
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Not that it matters.

48
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It matters to me.

49
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:57,329
Can you please just go
through it one more time?

50
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Please? For me?

51
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Just guide me through
each step of the night.

52
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Fine.

53
00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:06,870
OK, get up.

54
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,219
Just take me through
it from the beginning

55
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like I've never heard it before.

56
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You sound like a dirty cop.
Do you know that?

57
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- You ready?
- Yeah.

58
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,860
- OK.
- Let's go.

59
00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:26,680
This is about to be the
perfect Friday night.

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Everybody just finished
their first round of midterms,

61
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so they're either
super-stoked on themselves

62
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for being the brilliant little prodigies

63
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they were always told they were,

64
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or they're morbidly depressed

65
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and they need to drink their pain away.

66
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Everyone spent the last
two weeks in the library,

67
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so they're gonna have all this
repressed energy they need to release,

68
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and that can only be done by
getting into a cramped space

69
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and touching each other.

70
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Oh, no! Did I not tell you

71
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that the "dress for success"
model can be modified

72
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to fit a variety of applications?

73
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You are not nearly as charming
as you think you are.

74
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And do you know that every
time you interrupt me

75
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it slows down the process?

76
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Oh. Emily's coming.

77
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I'm not going out tonight.

78
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:12,399
Then why are you dressed like that?

79
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It's comfortable.

80
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You're wearing a strapless bra.

81
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Comfortable strapless bras don't exist.

82
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,940
You're coming out with me.

83
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Hold, please.

84
00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:21,750
Sorry, I just quickly want to address

85
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,419
a misconception about smart girls.

86
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I think people think
their precious daughters

87
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recoil at the scent of alcohol,
or, like, if they come home drunk

88
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it's because someone poured
liquor down their throat.

89
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,819
But in reality, no other group of people

90
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:37,420
can get a girl drunk faster and with
more efficacy than other girls.

91
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,900
Can we please just do shots?

92
00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:42,099
I'm really close to
hitting my calorie limit.

93
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I'll set you up.

94
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What do you want?

95
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:48,480
I'll just have some OJ.

96
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,180
- Getting soft in your old age?
- OK. Just surprise me.

97
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,910
Some girls like vodka
and cranberry juice,

98
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,749
and some girls like
rum and orange juice,

99
00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:00,890
but by far the most
popular pregame mixer

100
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,119
has gotta be the crippling
dietary restrictions

101
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,360
and body image issues

102
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that we are unable to
shed until we're wasted

103
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and we order and consume an
entire cheese pizza in 15 minutes.

104
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Cheers.

105
00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:14,869
Thank you.

106
00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:17,599
So you're not gonna hook
up with Derek tonight.

107
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,250
Oh, my God. Why would you even ask that?

108
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,270
- It's not a question.
- Of course not.

109
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- I'm so done.
- That's what you said last week.

110
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His name is Derek.

111
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That's like the Kmart version of Eric.

112
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You are so mean.

113
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So is he! You can't be mean and ugly.

114
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You know what?

115
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I heard that Sean-in-Beta
thinks you're hot.

116
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I thought Beta-Sean was gay.

117
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Oh, my God. Do you think that
because he showers every day?

118
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Just focus on Beta-Sean,
and I assure you,

119
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you will forget all about Derek.

120
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Fine! Fine.

121
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We're gonna go and see what it's like,

122
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and if it's fun, it's fun,

123
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and if it's not fun, we'll leave.

124
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Totally. But finish your drink.

125
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Got enough info for your little play?

126
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Jesus Christ.

127
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Sorry.

128
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So, I know what you're thinking.

129
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Why am I standing here freezing

130
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my ass off outside a fuckin' frat

131
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waiting for some idiots
to deign to let me in

132
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so I can join in on
the unmitigated swamp

133
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of booze and testosterone?

134
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Why am I, a modern woman,
a card-carrying feminist,

135
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subjecting myself to this war zone?

136
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Don't I know it's kind of hypocritical

137
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to voluntarily subject myself

138
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to the moral, physical,

139
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:52,030
and psychological degradation
that comes with that?

140
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,299
Maybe.

141
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,029
But I do it anyway.

142
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Why, you ask? Have I
completely lost my mind?

143
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Because I want to.

144
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Yes!

145
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Nobody here knows that I
am a gender studies minor.

146
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I spend all day being
critical and discerning

147
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,549
and posting liberal Facebook rants,

148
00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:19,519
but no one's dragging me here, ya know?

149
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,859
I come here of my own volition,

150
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:25,440
to let loose and dance
badly and kiss boys.

151
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,399
It can be nice to forget
who you're supposed to be.

152
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,969
Thank you, Santa.

153
00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:32,139
One of the frats puts blood thinners

154
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in there to get you drunk faster.

155
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,759
Sorry, one of the frats allegedly puts

156
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,360
blood thinners in it to
get you drunk faster.

157
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:43,299
One of the frats allegedly
has their pledges pee in it

158
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before serving.

159
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,059
Oh, my God, unclench. OK?

160
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:49,680
And that's not this. This is just bad.

161
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,350
Besides, this is my third year here,

162
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I know how to keep my
shit together, right?

163
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Unlike Becky here.

164
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,090
You're in my socy class!

165
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,929
You have such pretty hair.

166
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,499
Hey, where are your friends?

167
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,230
I don't know, but can you
be my friend, maybe?

168
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,759
I thought I already was your friend.

169
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,209
Oh, my God!

170
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:13,139
Are you hungry?

171
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:15,460
- Can we get a pizza?
- Let's definitely do that.

172
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,499
Can you help me out here?

173
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,149
Of course. Where do you live?

174
00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:20,149
Bradford? Oh, my God,

175
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:24,420
it's so shitty. My
roommate is such a fake.

176
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,950
Let's go.

177
00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:31,559
Oh, my God, like, I'm
not judging, but...

178
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,429
OK, I'm judging a little bit.

179
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,230
I'm just saying that this
is not my first rodeo.

180
00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:38,799
Hey, Josie.

181
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,830
Hey, fancy meeting you guys here.

182
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,199
You missed a great time last night.

183
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,269
Oh, yeah, well,

184
00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:45,080
I did, actually, like, have to study.

185
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,400
That's kind of the thing about
graduating in four years,

186
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:48,809
you kinda have to do that.

187
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Can't relate.

188
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:51,509
Wanna play pong?

189
00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:53,050
Obviously.

190
00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:59,350
Um, 'kay. So, there actually is
something you can help me with.

191
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,919
And you're old, so you might
see something that I don't.

192
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,659
So, here's my dilemma.

193
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,360
Over here, that's Donovan,
he is very stupid,

194
00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:11,050
but he kinda has this douchey-hot
thing going for him,

195
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,669
like a douchebag was surgically
implanted into a ten-foot-tall child.

196
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:16,839
But his dad is super-loaded,

197
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,469
so he could kinda come in handy

198
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,570
for a non-disgusting sugar daddy

199
00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:22,379
to support me while I'm
becoming a writer.

200
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:25,120
So he's a great option, ya know?

201
00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:28,590
And then over here we have Jon.

202
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,219
Jon will probably make zero
dollars outta graduation

203
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:33,660
working for Greenpeace or some shit,

204
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,019
but he has this kind of
self-flagellating brand

205
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:38,120
of questionably authentic male feminism

206
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:40,580
which indicates to me that
he definitely eats pussy,

207
00:09:40,590 --> 00:09:43,429
which is like finding a diamond
in a pile of horseshit.

208
00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:46,329
It's just a really rare
commodity in this economy.

209
00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:48,699
So, ya know, they're both great options.

210
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,770
You see my dilemma. What should I do?

211
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:55,659
- Uh, uh, well, I think, um...
- Sorry, now, I should never have asked you.

212
00:09:55,660 --> 00:09:56,839
You're completely useless.

213
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:57,879
I'm just gonna go home with one of them,

214
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,880
so I guess place your bets?

215
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,280
- Hey!
- Ahh!

216
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,680
Right this way, my lady.

217
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:07,020
Donovan rushes ahead right out the gate.

218
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,620
Jon is the dark horse.
Will he give up entirely?

219
00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:13,680
Will he sulk and pick up
an unsuspecting freshman

220
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,459
with a sob story about how,
as a sensitive frat boy,

221
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:19,060
he's really disgusted with
the behavior of his peers?

222
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:20,730
Only time will tell.

223
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,740
That kid is gay as fuck.

224
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,969
Oh, no. Are we still
using that as an insult?

225
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:29,839
Don't you guys have a rainbow
flag in your window?

226
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,279
Yeah, I mean, I support his
right to be gay as fuck 100%.

227
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,839
Oh, God. He's managed to disappoint me

228
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,249
before he even pulled out his dick.

229
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,680
Oh!

230
00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:07,649
Oh...

231
00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:09,849
I know whose Animal House poster

232
00:11:09,850 --> 00:11:12,020
I'm getting fingered under tonight.

233
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:20,220
Wait. I actually have to worry
more about appearances,

234
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,019
because it doesn't take
much to get you labeled

235
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,200
as a slut around here.

236
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:25,459
Qualifiers include but
are not limited to

237
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:28,869
showing an interest in sex
before midnight. Hmm.

238
00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:31,680
Do you ever think about
just leaving? You're wasted.

239
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,359
No. To leave would be
to admit to everyone

240
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,079
that I'm... what is the word?

241
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,200
mature.

242
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,220
- Wait.
- Oh, my God, what?

243
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,919
- Is that a karaoke machine?
- Yeah,

244
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,439
I think actually the theme was
supposed to be eighties.

245
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,419
Nobody here is dressed in a theme.

246
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:51,780
I guess if there was a
theme, you could call it

247
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,889
"Battle of the girls who are
skinny enough to wear crop-tops

248
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:57,890
versus the girls who can't,
and are salty about it."

249
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,140
You could totally wear a crop-top.

250
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,699
No, I couldn't, and I
don't want to anyway.

251
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:03,720
Yeah, you could.

252
00:12:03,730 --> 00:12:06,100
You could wear a high-waisted
legging with a control top

253
00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:07,980
and then just show a
sliver of your belly.

254
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,779
If you can drink six beers and
still suck in your stomach,

255
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:13,279
like, go for it.

256
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,519
This is the time to do it.

257
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,249
Hell, yeah! Go topless, even!

258
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,849
- Free the nipple.
- Tits out!

259
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:19,680
- It's called empowerment.
- Yeah, man.

260
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,249
I'll show you empowerment.

261
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,689
Sorry.

262
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,740
? You are the fuel, I'm the light ?

263
00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:32,680
? You light a match
and I watch it ignite ?

264
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,929
? We gonna fly... ?
You know the lyrics, shit!

265
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:40,280
? We gonna fly till
we h-hit the ground ?

266
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:43,110
? Can you feel it, in the night ?

267
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,620
? Like the floor's on fire,
like the floor's on fire ?

268
00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:49,209
? Can you feel it ?

269
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:50,879
? Hotter than the sun ?

270
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,860
? Like the floor's on fire ?

271
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,219
? Like the floor's on fire ?

272
00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:58,420
Dance break!

273
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:10,420
? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?

274
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,200
? When you fly ?

275
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,469
? Oh, yeah ?

276
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:21,560
Do you feel it, feel it?

277
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,540
Can you feel it?

278
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:25,950
Can you feel it?!

279
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,649
Can you feel it? Whoo!

280
00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:39,160
Did you see when I died and
then I came back to life?

281
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,780
Are you kidding me? What
is wrong with this guy?

282
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,899
His attention span is so freaking short.

283
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,000
Maybe he does need all that Adderall.

284
00:13:57,950 --> 00:14:00,760
- Yo.
- Oh, hey.

285
00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:02,860
Thought I lost you to
Donovan back there.

286
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,480
Oh. No, I just... I did a lap.

287
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,820
God... I'm pretty wasted.

288
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,059
Doubtful. That's just an excuse

289
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,600
for whatever insane
shit he's about to say.

290
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,999
Um, yeah, so am I.

291
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,080
Well, do you... wanna sober up a little?

292
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,930
Uh, yeah?

293
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,020
I actually do.

294
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,740
I feel like there's always
a point in the night

295
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:30,440
where you get kinda tired
of being hammered.

296
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,940
Like this one time, I was so stoned

297
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,600
and I Googled "How to be less high,"

298
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:41,519
and then I was so high, I
couldn't read the Google result.

299
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,790
But, yeah, I wish I
could get sober quickly

300
00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:49,360
when I'm tired of saying stupid
shit and the room is spinning.

301
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,060
Oh.

302
00:14:52,110 --> 00:14:54,300
This is some really good shit.

303
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:58,470
I know what I'm doing.

304
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:08,180
And you thought romance was dead.

305
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,889
Wouldn't it be, like, even more badass

306
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:16,489
if we just did it straight
off the toilet seat?

307
00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:18,459
We're already destroying our bodies,

308
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,690
we may as well snort up some
invisible poop particles.

309
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:24,230
It's like adding insult to injury.

310
00:15:34,610 --> 00:15:37,079
Didn't I tell ya that
was some good stuff?

311
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,449
Yeah, that's great. I bet
they call you El Chapo.

312
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:43,200
Oh, my God, that's crazy!
How did you know?

313
00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:51,260
Let's get outta here.

314
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,040
It's so cool to meet a
girl who does coke.

315
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,069
I don't do coke. I party, I drink,

316
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:09,909
I occasionally abuse a stimulant

317
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,760
that was not prescribed to me
by a medical professional,

318
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,840
but I don't do coke.

319
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,779
OK.

320
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,610
I am cool, though.

321
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:55,150
Oh, shit.

322
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:03,240
You on the pill?

323
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:05,329
Uh-huh.

324
00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:06,400
Hold, please.

325
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,030
Isn't he dreamy?

326
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,869
I would say that that is
the height of romance,

327
00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:16,900
but I have a friend who once
had a guy buy Plan B for her.

328
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,780
So that kinda set the bar.

329
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,710
Ow. Ahh.

330
00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:30,189
Ahh. Um...

331
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:33,420
Ow.

332
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,799
Ow!

333
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,870
Dude, what the fuck! Jesus!

334
00:17:47,710 --> 00:17:49,720
Can we make out for two seconds?

335
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,080
Yeah.

336
00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:57,509
You're so beautiful.

337
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:01,080
I've had a thing for you for so long.

338
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:08,220
Wait. Wait.

339
00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:14,459
Wait.

340
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:15,899
Relax.

341
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,440
Is this your first time or something?

342
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,440
No...

343
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,420
Wait...

344
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:45,260
Wait.

345
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,670
Oh, that was... that was fuckin' great.

346
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,519
Where you going?

347
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,209
Wanna stay the night?

348
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:43,010
Um, I'm... I got work tomorrow, so..

349
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,850
All right.

350
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:52,000
Actually, I'm not sure. I'm just
gonna get a glass of water.

351
00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:54,030
Hurry back.

352
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,760
You get what you needed?

353
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,669
Um, I-I don't...

354
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:16,670
- Fuck!
- I'm sorry. I just...

355
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,209
Why do you keep making
me redo this night?

356
00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:22,440
I party all the time, you
have a lot to choose from.

357
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,010
I know, I'm sorry.

358
00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:25,760
And what are you even writing about?

359
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,739
Like, binge drinking? Drugs?

360
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:29,550
I'm clearly not the poster child

361
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,759
for the next parental sob story.

362
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,059
Clearly I turn out fine, or at least OK.

363
00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:36,930
Can you just listen
for a second? Please?

364
00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:39,520
First of all, I'm not that old.

365
00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:42,270
But I do have enough
distance from where you are

366
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,520
to know that...

367
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,969
most of the specifics about college

368
00:21:48,970 --> 00:21:50,739
have faded away by now.

369
00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:53,209
You are worried about so many things

370
00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:54,909
that do not matter anymore.

371
00:21:54,910 --> 00:21:56,979
You're worried about your
GPA, you're worried about...

372
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:58,879
finding a date to formal,

373
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,680
you think your arms are too fat.

374
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:02,360
Are you saying my arms aren't fat?

375
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:03,619
I'm saying it could be worse,

376
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:05,920
and you waste too much
time thinking about it.

377
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,920
This stage of our life
is such a blur to me,

378
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,360
and I only remember a few
things really, really vividly.

379
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,500
And this night is one of those things.

380
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,900
What is your play about?

381
00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,500
It's about rape.

382
00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:29,979
Then you need to find another topic,

383
00:22:29,980 --> 00:22:32,010
because that is not what happened.

384
00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:34,319
News flash: Frat guys are bad at sex.

385
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,019
You know, like, maybe it wasn't
the most consensual thing, I...

386
00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:38,439
There it is. That's it.

387
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,689
I mean if you can hear
one thing that I say,

388
00:22:40,690 --> 00:22:42,920
please let it be that
there is no such thing

389
00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:44,629
as nonconsensual sex.

390
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,929
There is just consensual
sex, and there is rape.

391
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:48,599
Those are the only options.

392
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,570
If it's that simple, then
why am I still here?

393
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,839
I kissed him first.

394
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,570
You've seen it a million times.
I kissed him first.

395
00:22:58,580 --> 00:23:02,420
- I know.
- But I've never b... There's no way that...

396
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,179
Ooohhh! Like, aughhh!

397
00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:07,200
I was drunk, I kissed him first,

398
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,840
there's nothing that I can do with that.

399
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,880
I'm not telling you what you
should or shouldn't do, I just,

400
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,639
I just want you to know that it's OK

401
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,459
to feel bad about what happened.

402
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,289
I'm fine.

403
00:23:17,290 --> 00:23:18,990
OK.

404
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,340
You're the one who's
still hung up on it.

405
00:23:21,350 --> 00:23:23,360
I know.

406
00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:25,599
I just... I need to forget.

407
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,300
I wish that a butterfly
would clap its wings

408
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,209
somewhere between you and I

409
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,939
and then I would forget about it

410
00:23:32,940 --> 00:23:35,109
before I got to your age.

411
00:23:35,110 --> 00:23:36,980
You don't forget.

412
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:44,180
Can I go?

413
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,160
Uh, yeah. Yeah.

414
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:48,040
You should get some sleep.

415
00:23:48,070 --> 00:23:50,759
Your friends are gonna randomly
decide to go on a hike tomorrow,

416
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:51,879
and it's gonna be really fun,

417
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,020
so you should make sure you're
awake on time for that.

418
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:56,940
OK.

419
00:23:59,740 --> 00:24:01,469
Sorry, wait.
Just really quickly.

420
00:24:01,470 --> 00:24:04,169
I just want to know,
what do I end up doing?

421
00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:06,940
Um, you're a writer. You know that.

422
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,940
No, I mean about this.

423
00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:13,139
Well, I can't really
tell you what to do.

424
00:24:13,140 --> 00:24:16,580
You'll get here eventually, but
the choices have to be yours.

425
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,219
I should have known you
would say something stupid

426
00:24:19,220 --> 00:24:21,220
and fake-deep like that.

427
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,559
Does it get any easier?

428
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,090
What?

429
00:24:30,530 --> 00:24:34,860
I don't know, like, um... adulthood?

430
00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:38,970
No. Just gets different.

431
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,809
OK.

432
00:24:42,810 --> 00:24:45,540
I'll let you finish your play now.

433
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:48,840
Sucks that I don't ever get
any better at deadlines.

434
00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:54,319
Hey, do I get an "A" in stats?

435
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,490
Oh, my God, get the fuck outta here.

436
00:25:20,740 --> 00:25:25,460
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