1 00:00:01,196 --> 00:00:03,285 Hey, hope I'm not interrupting. 2 00:00:03,286 --> 00:00:05,530 No, come on in. I'm just researching 3 00:00:05,531 --> 00:00:08,065 Lutheran Kindergarten options for the baby. 4 00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:10,835 - Wow, already? - Yeah, they fill up fast, 5 00:00:10,837 --> 00:00:12,706 especially the accredited ones. 6 00:00:12,707 --> 00:00:16,574 So, I've been doing a little future planning myself. 7 00:00:16,576 --> 00:00:19,373 And I was thinking that maybe 8 00:00:19,374 --> 00:00:23,981 I might wanna, um, become a manager like you. 9 00:00:27,179 --> 00:00:28,064 Like me? 10 00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:29,166 Yeah. 11 00:00:29,265 --> 00:00:33,638 Well... that is some interesting news. 12 00:00:33,639 --> 00:00:36,134 And I was wondering if maybe you'd be willing to write 13 00:00:36,135 --> 00:00:37,607 a letter of recommendation 14 00:00:37,608 --> 00:00:39,826 for the management training program. 15 00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:41,224 I'm sorry, are you okay? 16 00:00:42,278 --> 00:00:43,870 Yeah, I'm sorry. 17 00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:47,406 This is just like the happiest day of my life. 18 00:00:47,675 --> 00:00:50,710 I am gonna teach you everything that I know. 19 00:00:50,712 --> 00:00:53,851 You are gonna be the best manager... sorry... 20 00:00:54,272 --> 00:00:56,970 manage-ess that they have ever seen. 21 00:00:56,971 --> 00:00:58,738 I'm pretty sure that the training program 22 00:00:58,739 --> 00:00:59,960 will cover most of what I need... 23 00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:01,630 Oh, there is no way that I am sending you 24 00:01:01,631 --> 00:01:03,138 into that lion's den unarmed. 25 00:01:03,139 --> 00:01:05,289 I gotta start building your curriculum. 26 00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:08,008 Oh, um, that sounds like a lot work, 27 00:01:08,009 --> 00:01:10,179 and I know how valuable your time is. 28 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:12,830 No, do not even think about paying me for this. 29 00:01:12,832 --> 00:01:14,482 Lesson one: 30 00:01:14,484 --> 00:01:18,082 Typing using the "home row" method. 31 00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:23,200 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 32 00:01:23,225 --> 00:01:25,108 So, you wanna be a manager. 33 00:01:25,228 --> 00:01:26,976 You've worked your little tush off. 34 00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,592 You're on the fast track. 35 00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:32,274 But sloooow down. 36 00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:34,407 You still got a lot to learn. 37 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:38,608 Welcome to tape four of "Management Overview." 38 00:01:38,609 --> 00:01:40,581 - When did he make this? - Last night. 39 00:01:40,582 --> 00:01:42,013 He stayed up till 11:30. 40 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,878 He actually fell asleep through most of part one, 41 00:01:43,879 --> 00:01:45,810 but then he farted himself awake. 42 00:01:45,811 --> 00:01:47,787 This is what you get for wanting to be a manager. 43 00:01:47,788 --> 00:01:50,100 Just a sweaty idiot snoring 44 00:01:50,102 --> 00:01:51,609 and farting through his basement. 45 00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:52,538 You don't wanna be a manager? 46 00:01:52,539 --> 00:01:53,665 God, no. Why would I? 47 00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:55,636 I just figured since you're an assistant manager, 48 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,802 the next logical step would be... 49 00:01:56,803 --> 00:01:58,914 What's wrong with being an assistant manager? 50 00:01:59,001 --> 00:01:59,915 Nothing, nothing. 51 00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:02,109 If you're happy, I'm not judging you. 52 00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:03,393 It sounds like you're judging her. 53 00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,590 Guys, this really doesn't have to be a group thing. 54 00:02:05,591 --> 00:02:07,903 I wanna start my own business someday. 55 00:02:08,571 --> 00:02:09,994 Oh, my God, so do I. 56 00:02:11,318 --> 00:02:13,515 Wait, is this really happening? 57 00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:15,929 Are we really starting a business together? 58 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:18,898 You know what? I hate you for saying it first, but yes. 59 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:21,710 Guys, remember this moment... we just witnessed history. 60 00:02:21,711 --> 00:02:23,678 Sometimes, as a manager, 61 00:02:24,158 --> 00:02:25,859 you've gotta be a shark. 62 00:02:29,135 --> 00:02:31,151 I think he missed the pause button. 63 00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:34,005 I got tricked into starring in a video once. 64 00:02:34,006 --> 00:02:35,235 It was hilarious. 65 00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:52,279 Is everything okay? 66 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,494 Oh, yeah. 67 00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,982 I mean, come on, who'd have thunk it? 68 00:02:56,298 --> 00:02:59,278 Yesterday you were just some nobody floor manager, 69 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:04,004 and now here you are ordering ice pops all by yourself. 70 00:03:04,006 --> 00:03:05,572 - It's been a whirlwind. - Yeah. 71 00:03:05,574 --> 00:03:07,040 Okay, so, now I hit submit? 72 00:03:07,042 --> 00:03:08,754 Uh-buh-buh-buh! Euuuhh! 73 00:03:11,146 --> 00:03:15,417 "Always Check Everything Seven Times." 74 00:03:15,784 --> 00:03:17,320 Really, seven times? 75 00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:20,454 Isn't that five or six times too many? 76 00:03:20,456 --> 00:03:22,155 You would be surprised how many mistakes 77 00:03:22,156 --> 00:03:24,007 I pick up on the seventh check. 78 00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,019 Seven times, got it. 79 00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:28,011 Okay, and then I hit submit. 80 00:03:28,013 --> 00:03:31,201 Ah... yes, but if you ever forget where you are, 81 00:03:31,202 --> 00:03:33,150 here's a little mnemonic device, 82 00:03:33,152 --> 00:03:34,718 you know, to help you remember. 83 00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:39,398 ? And unit quantity ? 84 00:03:39,399 --> 00:03:41,441 ? Then triple check the product name ? 85 00:03:41,443 --> 00:03:42,976 ? 'Cause thorough's what you want be ? 86 00:03:42,978 --> 00:03:44,694 - Glenn, really, I... - ? Then look it over ? 87 00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:46,480 ? One more time in case there's a mistake ? 88 00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,115 ? Then sign it, date it, click submit ? 89 00:03:48,117 --> 00:03:49,519 ? And throw it in the lake ? 90 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,753 But don't do that last part, 'cause it's just for the rhyme. 91 00:03:53,287 --> 00:03:55,789 Hey, I've been thinking about what you said, 92 00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:57,474 about how I should be ashamed of my job. 93 00:03:57,476 --> 00:03:58,998 Oh, I didn't actually mean you should be ashamed... 94 00:03:58,999 --> 00:04:00,535 No, no, no. You were right to ridicule me 95 00:04:00,536 --> 00:04:01,485 in front of everyone. 96 00:04:01,486 --> 00:04:03,997 It was harsh but a real wake-up call. 97 00:04:03,999 --> 00:04:06,258 Okay, again, I wasn't trying to ridicule you. I... 98 00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:08,535 Truth is, I don't wanna do this for the rest of my life. 99 00:04:08,537 --> 00:04:12,072 But I don't wanna be a manager either, so... what do I do? 100 00:04:12,074 --> 00:04:14,834 I mean, you could do whatever you want. 101 00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:17,010 Oh, really? Could I be a giraffe? 102 00:04:17,012 --> 00:04:19,552 - Well, within reality. - Yeah, exactly. 103 00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:21,800 How quickly we go from "you can be whatever you wanna be" 104 00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:24,086 to "within reality." Okay, drop what you're doing. 105 00:04:24,087 --> 00:04:25,352 We have to figure this out. 106 00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:27,573 - We? - It is the least you can do 107 00:04:27,574 --> 00:04:29,381 after the way you humiliated me. 108 00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:32,005 You can't just shiv someone and then walk away. 109 00:04:32,047 --> 00:04:33,834 You need to help mop up the blood. 110 00:04:33,835 --> 00:04:35,419 Mop up my blood, Jonah. 111 00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:38,609 What if we call our business "Divinity"? 112 00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:41,138 But the word Divinity is written upside down. 113 00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,609 Mmm-hmm, love it, but also kind of hate it. 114 00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,416 What about "Just Us"? 115 00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:48,253 "Just Us" or just "Us"? 116 00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:49,560 Just "Just Us." 117 00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:54,643 "Just Just Us" or just..."Just Us"? 118 00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:57,284 Hey, any chance you guys could go talk over somebody else's head? 119 00:04:57,285 --> 00:04:57,669 Shh. 120 00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,077 We are trying to create a lifestyle brand 121 00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:00,667 slash multimedia platform. 122 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,501 Yeah, you obviously don't get Chateo. 123 00:05:04,351 --> 00:05:05,192 Chateo! 124 00:05:05,892 --> 00:05:07,121 I love it! 125 00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:08,881 I actually thought of it a while ago, 126 00:05:08,882 --> 00:05:10,297 but I was sitting on it, 'cause I just wanted it 127 00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:12,166 to, like, slip out and sound super casual. 128 00:05:12,168 --> 00:05:13,148 Oh, my God! 129 00:05:13,149 --> 00:05:14,621 Okay, so the guy that we're going to talk to 130 00:05:14,622 --> 00:05:17,526 at the distribution center is named Ronald Stimple. 131 00:05:17,527 --> 00:05:19,393 And here's a few tidbits I collected 132 00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:20,887 to help us out during the call. 133 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,477 We need to know that he wears a mouth guard at night 134 00:05:23,479 --> 00:05:25,082 - to order paper towels? - Okay, Amy, 135 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:28,136 managing a store is about relationships. 136 00:05:28,137 --> 00:05:28,911 Business is personal. 137 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,687 That's why when you ask a question that's too personal, 138 00:05:31,688 --> 00:05:33,430 they say "it's none of your..." 139 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,602 - "Business." - Exactly. 140 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,465 God, you're a fast learner. 141 00:05:37,466 --> 00:05:39,559 Would you mind actually putting that 142 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,203 in the recommendation letter? 143 00:05:41,204 --> 00:05:43,705 Which, by the way, they said "the sooner the better," 144 00:05:43,706 --> 00:05:44,722 but no pressure. 145 00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:46,037 Yeah, I'm not feeling any. 146 00:05:46,038 --> 00:05:48,880 Okay, so, Ronald is 47 years old, 147 00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:51,175 he's in a handball league, he had a deaf girlfriend 148 00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:54,839 when he was 16, and he's thinking about a vasectomy, 149 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,463 but I think he's showing off. 150 00:05:57,004 --> 00:05:57,648 Shipping. 151 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,619 Hey, Ronald, Glenn Sturgis here. 152 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,663 Time to order some more paper towels. 153 00:06:01,664 --> 00:06:02,557 Okay, no problem. 154 00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:04,487 Okay, anyway, how's it going with... 155 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:07,339 And that is how that is done. 156 00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:08,632 - So interesting... - Yeah. 157 00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:10,708 - To see behind the curtains. - Mm-hmm, yeah. 158 00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:12,944 All right, next up is Fern Rosato. 159 00:06:12,946 --> 00:06:14,913 Now, she's married to a woman, 160 00:06:14,915 --> 00:06:17,115 so watch how casually I bring up 161 00:06:17,117 --> 00:06:19,050 "Xena: Warrior Princess." 162 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,218 - How's training? - Ah! 163 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:30,506 I'm supposed to be tuning into the rhythms of the store. 164 00:06:30,508 --> 00:06:33,705 Or trusting my inner manager. I'm not sure. 165 00:06:33,706 --> 00:06:35,093 Glenn was playing "Chariots of Fire" 166 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,425 really loudly at the time. 167 00:06:36,427 --> 00:06:37,510 Sounds like you're learning a lot. 168 00:06:37,512 --> 00:06:39,011 Oh, yeah. Earlier today, 169 00:06:39,013 --> 00:06:41,295 I got to order ice pops all by myself. 170 00:06:41,296 --> 00:06:43,467 Nice! Sounds like it's totally worth it. 171 00:06:43,869 --> 00:06:45,301 Well, I think in the end it will be. 172 00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:46,686 I'm just glad to finally be 173 00:06:46,688 --> 00:06:48,521 taking control of my life again, you know? 174 00:06:48,523 --> 00:06:51,357 No more crying over stupid mistakes I made 175 00:06:51,359 --> 00:06:52,725 as a high school student. 176 00:06:52,727 --> 00:06:54,841 If I'm unhappy with my life, then you know, 177 00:06:54,904 --> 00:06:56,347 it's up to me to change that. 178 00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:58,147 For me, I think it started with my parents. 179 00:06:58,596 --> 00:07:01,200 They didn't love each other enough to love their kids. 180 00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:03,078 Oh, um, I... 181 00:07:03,981 --> 00:07:04,629 Oh. 182 00:07:08,836 --> 00:07:09,830 Okay, next question. 183 00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:12,741 "In your career, would you rather work with your hands or at a desk?" 184 00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:14,929 Well, if I choose the desk, am I not allowed to use my hands? 185 00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,367 I mean, am I typing with my face? 186 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:18,879 I think you're getting bogged down with the details. 187 00:07:18,881 --> 00:07:20,855 Just answer off the top of your head. 188 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,168 I mean, I don't... I don't know, it depends. 189 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,921 I mean, "work with your hands" could be code for "massage," 190 00:07:27,923 --> 00:07:29,589 which could be code for "prostitution." 191 00:07:29,591 --> 00:07:30,594 I mean, do I wanna be a prostitute? 192 00:07:30,595 --> 00:07:33,226 Again, depends. Who are my clients? 193 00:07:33,228 --> 00:07:35,512 Let's try a different section. 194 00:07:35,514 --> 00:07:37,013 Um, okay. 195 00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:38,932 "Rank the following four qualities 196 00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:41,068 "from most to least important: flexible hours, 197 00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:43,806 coworker relationships, social impact, salary." 198 00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:45,892 Four-way tie. 199 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,026 That's... okay. 200 00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,695 - Yeah. - I'll just... all right. 201 00:07:51,697 --> 00:07:53,890 Okay, uh, what about this one? 202 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:55,749 How does it make you feel? 203 00:07:56,326 --> 00:07:57,250 Scared. 204 00:07:58,087 --> 00:08:01,514 Interesting. You said the last one also made you feel scared. 205 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,173 Yeah. 206 00:08:02,659 --> 00:08:04,659 - Okay. - And what about this one? 207 00:08:05,427 --> 00:08:06,927 Hey, is that the Pizza Hut font? 208 00:08:06,929 --> 00:08:09,296 Yes. Just how does it make you feel? 209 00:08:09,298 --> 00:08:12,549 Like, um... hungry. 210 00:08:12,551 --> 00:08:16,219 No. We want sophisticated, bold, 211 00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:18,054 offensive, inclusive. 212 00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:19,890 Wait. Okay... I'm sorry, 213 00:08:19,892 --> 00:08:21,691 I thought that we weren't doing "bold." 214 00:08:21,693 --> 00:08:23,894 I thought we were doing "bold." 215 00:08:24,472 --> 00:08:25,896 Okay, maybe we should just forget the whole thing. 216 00:08:25,898 --> 00:08:27,564 - Okay, I'm out. - What? 217 00:08:27,566 --> 00:08:31,125 What if instead of "bold" we did "extreme"? 218 00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:33,962 Okay, okay, back in. 219 00:08:33,963 --> 00:08:35,789 I love "extreme." 220 00:08:36,187 --> 00:08:39,042 We just solved our first business crisis. 221 00:08:39,044 --> 00:08:41,586 I love making business decisions. 222 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,215 Okay, I have hidden several rule violations 223 00:08:45,217 --> 00:08:47,134 somewhere in this section. 224 00:08:47,136 --> 00:08:48,585 And, go. 225 00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,372 That trash can is overflowing. 226 00:08:50,374 --> 00:08:52,257 That fluorescent light bulb is out. 227 00:08:52,258 --> 00:08:53,841 That mannequin's missing an arm. 228 00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:55,389 There is a bottle of grape soda 229 00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,521 that doesn't belong in women's wear and it's leaking. 230 00:08:57,631 --> 00:08:58,796 These sweaters aren't really folded. 231 00:08:58,797 --> 00:09:00,636 They're just sort of wadded up into balls. 232 00:09:00,637 --> 00:09:02,785 And Brett should be wearing a shirt. 233 00:09:04,635 --> 00:09:05,901 That was really good. 234 00:09:05,902 --> 00:09:07,894 You even found some I didn't notice. 235 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:11,129 Okay, so, this next part is called: 236 00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,932 "Backwards and on Roller-Skates." 237 00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:15,409 'Cause a great manager should be able to do this job 238 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:18,172 backwards and on roller-skates. 239 00:09:18,173 --> 00:09:20,878 Glenn, this really isn't necessary. 240 00:09:21,389 --> 00:09:23,106 I mean, I know all of this stuff, 241 00:09:23,107 --> 00:09:27,075 and what I don't know, I'm sure I'll learn in actual management training. 242 00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:31,433 So, you don't want my fake management training, 243 00:09:31,434 --> 00:09:32,683 is what you're saying. 244 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,246 I mean, I wanna say exactly, 245 00:09:35,405 --> 00:09:37,790 but I'm trying not to hurt your feelings. 246 00:09:38,726 --> 00:09:40,370 Sorry I wasted your time. 247 00:09:43,903 --> 00:09:46,273 Brett, for future reference, if a manager asks you 248 00:09:46,274 --> 00:09:48,530 to take off your clothes, you can say no. 249 00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:53,044 Okay, what about Professional flavor tester? 250 00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:55,331 Pass. I don't want my sister's job. 251 00:09:55,332 --> 00:09:56,318 Maritime law? 252 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,560 Legislative or enforcement? 253 00:09:58,561 --> 00:09:59,886 - Enforcement. - Pass. 254 00:10:00,285 --> 00:10:01,864 - Legislative? - Also, pass. 255 00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:03,056 Why didn't you just say that to being with? 256 00:10:03,057 --> 00:10:04,267 I'm trying to be open. 257 00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:05,800 Maybe you could be a bike messenger. 258 00:10:05,802 --> 00:10:08,946 Uh, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in "Premium Rush"? 259 00:10:09,197 --> 00:10:11,448 I think I'll pass on being chased around by a corrupt cop 260 00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:13,533 because I'm unknowingly delivering $50,000 261 00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:15,717 to a Chinese human trafficker, thanks. 262 00:10:15,718 --> 00:10:17,151 What are you trying to do, get her killed? 263 00:10:17,152 --> 00:10:19,239 What about scuba cop? Is that a job? 264 00:10:19,241 --> 00:10:21,686 I don't think I see that listed here. 265 00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:23,666 - It's a pass anyway. - Ah. 266 00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:25,336 Too worried about the bends. 267 00:10:25,714 --> 00:10:27,848 Amy, hey. 268 00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:29,890 Are you the one who keeps putting 269 00:10:29,891 --> 00:10:31,841 pictures of naked horses in my locker? 270 00:10:31,842 --> 00:10:33,223 Aren't all horses naked? 271 00:10:33,544 --> 00:10:34,672 Not this naked. 272 00:10:34,993 --> 00:10:37,519 They're just... putting it all out there. 273 00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:39,540 No, Marcus, no. 274 00:10:39,541 --> 00:10:42,428 I am not the one putting naked horses in your locker. 275 00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:43,267 Okay. 276 00:10:44,713 --> 00:10:47,484 Also, did you septuple-check this purchase order? 277 00:10:47,486 --> 00:10:48,214 It just showed up. 278 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,518 No, because you don't need to check something seven times. 279 00:10:52,132 --> 00:10:53,572 That is not right. 280 00:10:54,061 --> 00:10:57,545 Obviously, it was a typo. I meant to write 120. 281 00:10:57,546 --> 00:11:00,484 Who would need 12,000 boxes of ice pops? 282 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:01,648 We don't have room for that. 283 00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:04,052 No, sorry, sir. Can you not bring this in? 284 00:11:04,053 --> 00:11:05,678 Sorry, lady, not my problem. 285 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,615 You cannot hold us to this deal. 286 00:11:07,616 --> 00:11:11,361 No, okay, sir, you may not bring this in here. 287 00:11:11,362 --> 00:11:13,293 Absolutely not. All right, fine. 288 00:11:13,295 --> 00:11:16,478 You are not going anywhere. 289 00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:17,317 Oh, God. 290 00:11:17,318 --> 00:11:19,708 Okay, these shoes have no traction. 291 00:11:22,839 --> 00:11:24,845 This is way too many ice pops. 292 00:11:25,092 --> 00:11:26,726 It's fine. It's fine. 293 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:30,013 We just have to sell them as quickly as possible. 294 00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:32,101 Now, in the middle of winter. 295 00:11:32,102 --> 00:11:34,439 Yeah, it's like when you were playing in the snow as a kid, 296 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,403 and your mom would come out with a delicious tray 297 00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,158 of ice-cold milkshakes. 298 00:11:38,607 --> 00:11:40,690 Um, does Glenn know about this? 299 00:11:40,692 --> 00:11:43,841 No, and he doesn't need to, so let's get all these 300 00:11:43,842 --> 00:11:45,624 into the freezer before he sees them. 301 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,637 The freezer's full. 302 00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:47,874 And based on my experience with ice, 303 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,515 these things are gonna melt. 304 00:11:49,516 --> 00:11:51,275 Well, it's January, Marcus. 305 00:11:51,276 --> 00:11:54,421 Outside is a freezer, so just hide them somewhere outside. 306 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,256 You want me to just hide 307 00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:58,425 all of these boxes somewhere outside? 308 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,074 - Can you? - Absolutely. 309 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:01,607 I'm pretty good at hiding things. 310 00:12:01,608 --> 00:12:03,442 My girlfriend lived with me for an entire year 311 00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:05,514 during high school. My mom had no idea. 312 00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:07,517 I hid her in my stuffed animals like E.T.. 313 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,266 Why did you have so many stuffed animals in high school? 314 00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,610 Do we need someone to distract Glenn 315 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:11,470 while we try to sell them? 316 00:12:11,471 --> 00:12:13,798 I can make myself cry on command. Watch. 317 00:12:15,273 --> 00:12:16,682 Ooh, it's not happening. 318 00:12:16,683 --> 00:12:18,048 Oh wait, here it comes. 319 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:21,496 Okay, everyone look away. I'm gonna pull out a nose hair. 320 00:12:21,497 --> 00:12:22,673 - Ugh! - You know what? 321 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:23,989 Cheyenne and I will distract him. 322 00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:25,503 Okay, yeah, great. 323 00:12:25,504 --> 00:12:27,144 That's a plan. We have a plan. 324 00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:30,457 Yeah, Marcus is just gonna hide these boxes somewhere. 325 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,460 Mateo and Cheyenne are gonna distract Glenn with something. 326 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,872 And Justine's gonna cry. 327 00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:37,400 This is some "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" level [bleep]. 328 00:12:37,401 --> 00:12:38,741 Yeah. 329 00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:40,232 It's pretty good. 330 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:51,620 Hey, Glenn. 331 00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,430 I don't know if you heard, 332 00:12:53,432 --> 00:12:55,982 but Mateo and I are starting a business. 333 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:56,992 "Chateo." 334 00:12:57,306 --> 00:12:59,306 Oh, that's really great. 335 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,738 Well, and since you're a businessman, 336 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,670 we were wondering if we could sit here with you 337 00:13:04,671 --> 00:13:08,806 for the next... couple of hours, 338 00:13:08,807 --> 00:13:10,664 and just really learn from you. 339 00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,582 Really, you want my help? 340 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:13,971 - Oh, yes. - Uh, yes. 341 00:13:13,972 --> 00:13:15,710 - Please. - Absolutely. 342 00:13:15,947 --> 00:13:17,279 Okay, have a seat. 343 00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:21,925 Ugh, I thought I was starting to find Coat Guard interesting, 344 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,178 but I think I'm just enjoying this octopus in a sailor hat. 345 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,609 Well, I think we've been through every job, 346 00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:28,955 and there's nothing left. 347 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,542 There's gotta be something. 348 00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:32,505 Do you think space mailman will ever be a thing? 349 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:35,477 Look, you can't expect to figure out your entire future in a day. 350 00:13:35,478 --> 00:13:37,764 I spent 200 grand on higher education, 351 00:13:37,765 --> 00:13:39,049 and I still haven't figured it out. 352 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,753 200 grand? Your parents must be pissed. 353 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,613 Nope. All student loans. 354 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,616 You have $200,000 in student loan debt? 355 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,735 Ha! I mean, the interest on that alone 356 00:13:48,737 --> 00:13:50,537 must be more than you make here. 357 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:53,187 Well, yeah. I mean, sure... 358 00:13:53,188 --> 00:13:54,405 That means every single day, 359 00:13:54,406 --> 00:13:56,174 even after you've worked a full day, 360 00:13:56,175 --> 00:13:58,295 you are more in debt than you were the day before. 361 00:13:58,297 --> 00:13:59,579 Uh-huh. 362 00:13:59,581 --> 00:14:01,318 Wow, I thought I was in trouble, 363 00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:03,717 but... ha! I mean, you're just as lost as I am, 364 00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,585 and you're 2 hundy in the hole. 365 00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:07,137 That's pretty weird to think about, huh? 366 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,091 That is weird. 367 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,726 Attention shoppers: 368 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,394 it's 10 degrees Fahrenheit outside, 369 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:17,480 so why not take home a frosty case of ice pops? 370 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,765 It makes about as much sense 371 00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,517 as most of the stuff you buy here. 372 00:14:20,519 --> 00:14:22,986 I'm looking at you, Spoon Painting Guy. 373 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:28,408 Sir, would you like to try a tasty ice pop? 374 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,410 Ma'am, you look like you could use 375 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,912 a refreshing pick-me-up. 376 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:35,570 Celebrate winter with yummy, ice-cold ice pops. 377 00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:38,737 Are these okay for a diabetic? 378 00:14:39,037 --> 00:14:40,837 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 379 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:41,955 Thanks. 380 00:14:41,957 --> 00:14:43,757 And just like that, 381 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:47,209 you have a mug of steaming hot purple cider. 382 00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:50,259 Get your ice pops, ice pops, ice pops. 383 00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:51,598 Hey, oh. 384 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,550 Look alive, look alive. 385 00:14:53,552 --> 00:14:55,885 Half a cup of milk, a handful of kale, 386 00:14:55,887 --> 00:15:00,106 a scoop of protein powder, add three ice pops, 387 00:15:01,916 --> 00:15:04,027 That's what fiber sounds like. 388 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:08,114 Have a heavenly day. Have a heavenly day. 389 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:10,847 And then... voila. 390 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,454 Mmm. 391 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,873 If your daddy says you can't have them, 392 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,624 then you scream and scream and scream your head off 393 00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:22,329 until he says yes. 394 00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:24,526 Just a little like... it's like popcorn. 395 00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:28,385 They said it couldn't be done, but just like that, 396 00:15:28,643 --> 00:15:31,285 12,000 ice pops disappeared. 397 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:35,912 Mindfreak, right? 398 00:15:36,678 --> 00:15:38,429 I think this is one of those situations where 399 00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:40,824 the job you did is so incredibly bad 400 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,439 and such a massive waste of time 401 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,699 that it circled around to genius. 402 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,743 So, it's not good? 403 00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:51,193 It's not good. 404 00:15:51,725 --> 00:15:54,392 ? On the ninth day of business ? 405 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:55,779 - ? My employees said... ? - [knock on door] 406 00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:58,669 Glenn, oh... uh... sorry, I can come back. 407 00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:00,022 No, no, what is it? 408 00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:02,880 I just wanted to come see if I could take you to lunch 409 00:16:02,881 --> 00:16:06,589 to discuss, um, my... my salary. 410 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,610 That sounds great. We'll all go. 411 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,010 All of us? 412 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,313 But... what about the learning? 413 00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:14,597 This will be a teachable moment. 414 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,690 The best negotiations always happen over a meal. 415 00:16:17,691 --> 00:16:19,269 Write that down. Come on! 416 00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,742 But we wanna learn about your filing system. 417 00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:22,652 - Glenn? - Um... 418 00:16:22,653 --> 00:16:24,107 - Glenn. - Yeah, Glenn, 419 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,525 let's stay in the office. 420 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:28,300 I love ice pops. 421 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,114 Justine, what are you doing? 422 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,305 Sex sells, Amy. 423 00:16:32,984 --> 00:16:36,036 Mmm, I can't wait to put this in my mouth. 424 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,154 Okay, stop! 425 00:16:38,156 --> 00:16:40,265 Oh, sensitive teeth. 426 00:16:41,636 --> 00:16:43,827 Oh, Glenn, where... where are you going? 427 00:16:43,829 --> 00:16:46,996 Just out for a business lunch with my protégés. 428 00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:48,266 We're gonna talk about a raise 429 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,303 over a nacho tower at Red Robin 430 00:16:50,304 --> 00:16:51,595 with a bunch of my coworkers. 431 00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:52,879 Yeah, let's go. 432 00:16:53,839 --> 00:16:55,862 Give yourself that look. 433 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,718 Um, Glenn. Glenn... 434 00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:01,478 - Um, Glenn. - Yeah? 435 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,174 Glenn. 436 00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:04,312 Whoa! 437 00:17:04,654 --> 00:17:06,153 Okay. 438 00:17:06,351 --> 00:17:07,015 What? 439 00:17:07,357 --> 00:17:11,376 Uh, I am just, uh, stunned 440 00:17:11,377 --> 00:17:15,442 by how nice our parking lot is. 441 00:17:15,444 --> 00:17:18,945 Well done. Very well done. 442 00:17:18,947 --> 00:17:21,977 It is. It is a nice parking lot. 443 00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:24,033 Oh! 444 00:17:24,035 --> 00:17:25,335 Oh... oh... 445 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:27,177 oh... oh! 446 00:17:28,084 --> 00:17:30,590 You're not supposed to cut through like that. 447 00:17:33,155 --> 00:17:34,775 Do you think Glenn was really mad? 448 00:17:34,776 --> 00:17:36,574 I mean, it's hard to tell with him. 449 00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:38,326 He turns purple for so many reasons. 450 00:17:38,328 --> 00:17:38,964 Mm-hmm. 451 00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:40,828 Hey, this might not be the best time, 452 00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,213 but I need to get reimbursed 453 00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:43,631 for the giant photo of the parking lot. 454 00:17:44,241 --> 00:17:46,366 Kinda maxed out my mom's credit card. 455 00:17:46,414 --> 00:17:49,323 Uh... no. 456 00:17:52,357 --> 00:17:54,092 But you said "hide the ice pops." 457 00:17:54,839 --> 00:17:57,431 I did exactly what you said. 458 00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:00,932 So let me know if any of these feel right to you. 459 00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:03,326 First up, me as a chef. 460 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,187 Yummers. 461 00:18:05,778 --> 00:18:06,628 Firefighter. 462 00:18:06,629 --> 00:18:08,506 Whoa, somebody call 9/11! 463 00:18:09,315 --> 00:18:10,989 - You mean 9-1-1? - I did. 464 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,450 - You have to say "9-1-1." - Okay. 465 00:18:13,452 --> 00:18:15,234 Okay. Astronaut. 466 00:18:15,748 --> 00:18:18,540 Come on, she obviously just made a mistake. 467 00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:20,333 We don't take returns. You know that. 468 00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:23,039 Well, maybe you could just take half of them back, 469 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,842 and then in future purchases... 470 00:18:24,843 --> 00:18:26,357 Amy, I got this. 471 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:30,481 Come on, Donovan, like, we... we know each other. 472 00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:32,289 We've worked together for years. 473 00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:35,174 Like, I know that you tore your meniscus 474 00:18:35,175 --> 00:18:36,803 playing handball, remember? 475 00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:39,386 And you've got a bulldog named Velvet. 476 00:18:39,387 --> 00:18:40,787 There's nothing I can do. 477 00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:44,812 I also know about the waitress. 478 00:18:45,071 --> 00:18:46,143 - The waitress? - Yeah. 479 00:18:46,144 --> 00:18:48,435 On April 7th, you told me that your wife 480 00:18:48,437 --> 00:18:49,487 was going out of town for a month. 481 00:18:49,488 --> 00:18:51,460 But then on April 21st, you told me 482 00:18:51,461 --> 00:18:52,853 that you'd "pounded a waitress, 483 00:18:52,854 --> 00:18:54,934 until her eyes rolled back in her head." 484 00:18:55,611 --> 00:18:57,277 I didn't wanna hear about it at the time, 485 00:18:57,279 --> 00:18:58,652 but now I'm glad I did. 486 00:19:02,819 --> 00:19:03,901 I'll take them back. 487 00:19:04,169 --> 00:19:06,189 That is wonderful! 488 00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:08,642 See, I knew we could come to an understanding, Donovan. 489 00:19:08,643 --> 00:19:09,957 Thanks for stopping by. 490 00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:11,468 Go [bleep] yourself, Glenn. 491 00:19:12,717 --> 00:19:14,601 Again, I'm sorry about the typo. 492 00:19:14,932 --> 00:19:16,756 I didn't know it would get so dark. 493 00:19:17,037 --> 00:19:19,168 I feel like everyone works Monday to Friday, 494 00:19:19,203 --> 00:19:21,342 so we should do Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday 495 00:19:21,343 --> 00:19:22,805 from 10:00 pm to 2:00 am. 496 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:23,709 Smart. 497 00:19:23,711 --> 00:19:25,972 Then we could do lots of business with Tokyo. 498 00:19:25,973 --> 00:19:26,467 Yes. 499 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,987 Hey, if you guys are serious 500 00:19:28,989 --> 00:19:30,963 about starting a business, would it be crazy 501 00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:31,987 if we teamed up? 502 00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:34,135 - Teamed up? - Yeah, yeah. 503 00:19:34,136 --> 00:19:36,519 I mean, I went to business school. 504 00:19:36,553 --> 00:19:38,176 It was only a year, but you know, it's something. 505 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,045 And I have a lot of great ideas. 506 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,280 Hey, you know what? How 'bout this? 507 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,825 The next day that we all have off, 508 00:19:42,826 --> 00:19:45,164 let's get together and just brainstorm some business ideas. 509 00:19:45,165 --> 00:19:46,647 Maybe we could do some research... 510 00:19:46,648 --> 00:19:47,850 I'm gonna cut you off right there. 511 00:19:47,851 --> 00:19:51,033 You know we're not actually gonna start a business, right? 512 00:19:51,068 --> 00:19:51,903 You're not? 513 00:19:51,904 --> 00:19:53,594 No, I mean, we always tell ourselves 514 00:19:53,595 --> 00:19:54,689 that we're gonna do something, 515 00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:56,025 but I think in the back of our heads, 516 00:19:56,026 --> 00:19:58,479 we both know we're never actually gonna do it. 517 00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,689 - Right? - God, no. 518 00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:01,511 Ah... oh, okay. 519 00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:04,079 It's like when people talk about starting a band. 520 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,121 Oh, my God, we should start a band. 521 00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:08,217 - Yes! - You in? 522 00:20:08,252 --> 00:20:09,840 I don't play any instruments. 523 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:12,256 Again, we're not actually gonna do this. 524 00:20:12,257 --> 00:20:14,724 Oh, right... yes. So then, yeah, sure. 525 00:20:15,092 --> 00:20:16,340 What should our name be? 526 00:20:16,342 --> 00:20:17,869 You know, I always thought a good name for a band 527 00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:19,610 would be the Hardtime Ramblers. 528 00:20:20,439 --> 00:20:21,141 - All in favor... - Ugh! 529 00:20:21,142 --> 00:20:22,954 Of voting Jonah out of the band? 530 00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:27,300 Glenn, I'm really sorry I messed up the order. 531 00:20:33,036 --> 00:20:34,062 What is this? 532 00:20:35,112 --> 00:20:37,340 My recommendation for the program. 533 00:20:37,848 --> 00:20:39,248 - What? - Mm-hmm. 534 00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:40,565 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 535 00:20:41,218 --> 00:20:42,405 Glenn, thank you. 536 00:20:43,658 --> 00:20:45,855 You know, I made a mistake or two coming up. 537 00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:47,104 - What? - Mm-hmm. 538 00:20:47,105 --> 00:20:48,292 - You? - Oh, yeah. 539 00:20:48,293 --> 00:20:49,574 - Really? - Yeah. 540 00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:49,969 Oh. 541 00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:53,092 One time, I gave $100 bill in change 542 00:20:53,093 --> 00:20:55,328 when it was only supposed to be 35 cents. 543 00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:56,219 Oh. 544 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:57,257 And then another time, 545 00:20:57,258 --> 00:21:00,440 I forgot to put anybody on the schedule, 546 00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:03,250 and I had to work the whole day alone in the store. 547 00:21:03,251 --> 00:21:04,195 Hmm. 548 00:21:04,226 --> 00:21:06,093 And then, uh, and then one time 549 00:21:06,094 --> 00:21:08,106 I ate everybody's lunch by accident. 550 00:21:08,497 --> 00:21:12,598 And, um... oh, I accidentally ordered some adult toys 551 00:21:12,599 --> 00:21:14,538 'cause I thought they were puzzles.