1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:05,155
_

2
00:00:06,232 --> 00:00:08,828
_

3
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,926
Happy birthday.

4
00:00:14,465 --> 00:00:17,445
_

5
00:00:25,491 --> 00:00:27,780
_

6
00:00:38,842 --> 00:00:40,241
D'oh!

7
00:01:01,764 --> 00:01:04,065
Merry Christmas!

8
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:11,866
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

9
00:01:24,616 --> 00:01:27,221
Another Thanksgiving is in the books.

10
00:01:27,257 --> 00:01:29,624
Which means Christmas is starting.

11
00:01:29,659 --> 00:01:33,060
Say, Lis, I couldn't help but notice
you're holding a piece of paper.

12
00:01:33,096 --> 00:01:34,629
Oh, this piece of paper?

13
00:01:34,664 --> 00:01:36,998
Why, it's just my
Christmas list, is all.

14
00:01:37,033 --> 00:01:38,299
What a coincidence.

15
00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:40,835
I also have my Christmas list
right here in my hand.

16
00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:42,937
Oh, you selfish little gangsters.

17
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,839
There's always another
shakedown, isn't there?

18
00:01:44,874 --> 00:01:48,242
What do you know, Bart? There's
only one present on my list.

19
00:01:48,278 --> 00:01:50,111
My word, that's reasonable.

20
00:01:50,146 --> 00:01:52,947
I, too, only found one present
to be list-worthy.

21
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:55,283
Oh, give me the lists.

22
00:01:57,187 --> 00:01:58,819
We already have a TV.

23
00:01:58,855 --> 00:02:00,488
We've been through ten Super Bowls,

24
00:02:00,523 --> 00:02:02,757
XLIV through LIII.

25
00:02:02,792 --> 00:02:05,593
But our dumb TV is not a smart TV.

26
00:02:05,628 --> 00:02:08,996
And I just want one other
smart thing in this house.

27
00:02:09,032 --> 00:02:10,798
Yeah, well, we'll think about it.

28
00:02:15,305 --> 00:02:17,972
I want everything about
Christmas to be perfect,

29
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:23,010
but that smart TV
the kids want is $2,400.

30
00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:24,612
That's ridiculous.

31
00:02:24,647 --> 00:02:27,815
Our TV may not be smart,
but it's street smart.

32
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:30,484
It's Sprawl-Mart's
huge Black Friday sale.

33
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,353
Jay-G headphones only $49.99.

34
00:02:32,388 --> 00:02:34,855
Two-piece sofa set only $249.99.

35
00:02:34,891 --> 00:02:39,827
And this GL50 9K Smart TV only $499.99.

36
00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:43,564
GL50 9K Smart TV.
Where have I heard that before?

37
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,833
The kids are chanting it nonstop.

38
00:02:45,868 --> 00:02:48,803
GL50 9K Smart TV.

39
00:02:48,838 --> 00:02:53,140
- GL50 9K Smart TV.
- Knock it off!

40
00:02:53,176 --> 00:02:54,342
Supplies are limited,

41
00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:56,410
so be here when the doors open
at 6:00 a.m.!

42
00:02:56,446 --> 00:02:58,746
Black Friday: like The Purge,
but for bargains.

43
00:02:58,781 --> 00:03:01,148
That's how we get it. We have to go.

44
00:03:01,184 --> 00:03:04,151
Oh, old TV, you really are dumb.

45
00:03:04,187 --> 00:03:07,321
You just told us how to replace you.

46
00:03:07,357 --> 00:03:10,825
Why do we have an antenna on an HDTV?

47
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,393
I thought it looked cool.

48
00:03:14,464 --> 00:03:16,931
So the customers
will be entering from here,

49
00:03:16,966 --> 00:03:18,232
here and here.

50
00:03:18,268 --> 00:03:20,668
Our biggest concern are the cutsies.

51
00:03:20,703 --> 00:03:23,537
- I hate those Nazis.
- I said "cutsies."

52
00:03:23,573 --> 00:03:26,507
- You think the Nazis didn't take cuts?
- Oh.

53
00:03:26,542 --> 00:03:29,944
I leave for Sprawl-Mart now,
getting us a good place in line.

54
00:03:29,979 --> 00:03:33,447
And I go to sleep now, waking up
in the middle of the night,

55
00:03:33,483 --> 00:03:35,349
rested and ready to relieve you

56
00:03:35,385 --> 00:03:37,051
- at 3:00 a.m.
- That's right.

57
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:40,021
Godspeed, hot woman.

58
00:03:44,727 --> 00:03:47,928
I love you, too, Homie,
but I have to go.

59
00:03:47,964 --> 00:03:51,632
My tongue is frozen to your zipper.

60
00:04:00,243 --> 00:04:03,044
Aw, Marge, great to see you out here.

61
00:04:03,079 --> 00:04:05,646
You want a Cup O' Noodles
to chase away the chill?

62
00:04:05,682 --> 00:04:08,115
- How sweet.
- It's just water.

63
00:04:08,151 --> 00:04:09,750
I can't afford the real thing,

64
00:04:09,786 --> 00:04:12,053
but if you stare at the label
while you drink it,

65
00:04:12,088 --> 00:04:14,922
you'd swear there was real
chicken powder in there.

66
00:04:14,957 --> 00:04:18,492
Oh.

67
00:04:18,528 --> 00:04:21,228
What bargain are you busting
down the door for?

68
00:04:21,264 --> 00:04:24,799
I'm getting a Futon Friend
for my granddaughter.

69
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,568
I want her to remember me
as more than just a grandpa

70
00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:28,769
who lives at the airport.

71
00:04:28,805 --> 00:04:31,105
The trick is to carry
a piece of empty luggage

72
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,007
because then they... they...

73
00:04:45,621 --> 00:04:47,855
Sorry, Ralphie, it's just too cold.

74
00:04:47,890 --> 00:04:49,757
Even my blubber isn't helping.

75
00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:52,493
Cold in the winter, hot in the summer.

76
00:04:52,528 --> 00:04:55,296
Why did I grow you?

77
00:04:56,999 --> 00:04:59,934
Oh, your hands feel cold.
Let me look at them.

78
00:04:59,969 --> 00:05:03,771
Whoa, that's toasty! Am in Ipanema?

79
00:05:06,476 --> 00:05:08,342
Hmm? Hmm?

80
00:05:09,912 --> 00:05:11,946
I can do this. It's 2:30.

81
00:05:11,981 --> 00:05:13,781
Homer's gonna be here any minute.

82
00:05:20,423 --> 00:05:22,223
What?

83
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,576
_

84
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,849
_

85
00:05:24,873 --> 00:05:26,595
_

86
00:05:26,596 --> 00:05:28,154
- _
- What the...?

87
00:05:28,898 --> 00:05:31,165
Ooh, got to relieve Marge!

88
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,412
My hands are starting to freeze.

89
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:46,480
I hope Homer gets here soon.

90
00:05:46,516 --> 00:05:48,682
Why are we standing?

91
00:05:48,718 --> 00:05:51,218
We still have hours
before the store opens.

92
00:05:51,254 --> 00:05:52,586
To keep out the cutters.

93
00:05:52,622 --> 00:05:54,555
Ow! You're punching me in the back.

94
00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:55,756
I ain't doin' it.

95
00:05:55,792 --> 00:05:58,395
It's the baby what's in my belly
thrashing about.

96
00:05:58,420 --> 00:06:00,254
If you go into labor,
I'll help you deliver,

97
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,563
but then that baby has to go
to the back of the line.

98
00:06:02,598 --> 00:06:04,679
Yeah!

99
00:06:04,704 --> 00:06:08,105
I know how to hold a baby in.

100
00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:15,910
Have a safe Black Friday,

101
00:06:15,945 --> 00:06:18,913
and welcome to Thunderdome.

102
00:06:29,603 --> 00:06:32,103
My hands are frozen,

103
00:06:32,128 --> 00:06:35,334
which makes it easier to do this.

104
00:06:41,672 --> 00:06:43,247
The electronics department.

105
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,738
I'm going to make it.

106
00:06:44,774 --> 00:06:46,592
I'm not gonna make it!

107
00:06:48,795 --> 00:06:52,803
Is there one drop of humanity
in this big-box store?

108
00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:56,550
Don't look, Marge.
At any other time of year,

109
00:06:56,586 --> 00:06:59,342
that man's life would be worth
more than a TV,

110
00:06:59,367 --> 00:07:00,933
but not at Christmas.

111
00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:04,559
Tell my granddaughter I existed.

112
00:07:33,032 --> 00:07:35,199
This will help raise the little one.

113
00:07:35,224 --> 00:07:37,591
? Jangle bells, jangle bells ?

114
00:07:37,627 --> 00:07:39,994
? We gots a TV ?

115
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:42,285
? Now the only thing we lack ?

116
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:44,965
? Is e-lectricity, hey! ?

117
00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:46,600
You did it, Marge.

118
00:07:46,636 --> 00:07:50,104
You've given a poor old man
the greatest gift of all,

119
00:07:50,139 --> 00:07:53,040
- a grandchild's love.
- Well, that makes it all...

120
00:07:53,075 --> 00:07:54,817
I can't leave without one of those.

121
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,288
I'll give you a hundred bucks for it.

122
00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:58,576
- Can't say no to that.
- Oh...

123
00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:07,788
Oh! Marge, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to let you down.

124
00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:11,051
I'm not mad at you. I won't
let myself be mad at you.

125
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:14,418
This is Christmas, and Christmas
is great for our kids,

126
00:08:14,443 --> 00:08:16,434
and I vow on my life

127
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:18,632
to make it a great Christmas.

128
00:08:18,668 --> 00:08:20,034
I totally agree.

129
00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:23,443
Now because you've been
through so much, let me drive.

130
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:30,373
Let me call you an Uber.

131
00:08:37,715 --> 00:08:40,215
So I'm afraid you won't be getting

132
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,207
the smart TV for Christmas.

133
00:08:42,242 --> 00:08:43,708
We figured.

134
00:08:43,744 --> 00:08:45,877
Never get your hopes up around here.

135
00:08:45,912 --> 00:08:49,848
But I promise you, Christmas
will be better than ever.

136
00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:51,750
I'll sweep that up, sweetie.

137
00:08:54,873 --> 00:08:57,255
Your mother froze her fingers

138
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,057
trying to get a Christmas gift for you,

139
00:08:59,092 --> 00:09:00,825
and what were you going to give her?

140
00:09:00,861 --> 00:09:02,994
- Lanyard.
- Poem.

141
00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,429
I thought as much.

142
00:09:04,464 --> 00:09:07,242
Well, we're gonna make this
Christmas about your mother.

143
00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:09,753
- But Christmas is for kids.
- Her.

144
00:09:09,778 --> 00:09:11,945
Hi, guys, it's Monica here

145
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,913
with five easy hacks for resetting

146
00:09:13,949 --> 00:09:15,676
your threshold Christmas caroler.

147
00:09:15,701 --> 00:09:19,057
Number one, locate the P.I.X.
input on the pressure strip.

148
00:09:19,082 --> 00:09:21,683
I already did that, Monica.

149
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,368
I think I've got it.

150
00:09:25,393 --> 00:09:28,595
What if we take Mom on a Florida
vacation for Christmas?

151
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,540
Hoy, hoy, hoy.

152
00:09:30,565 --> 00:09:32,432
I ride on a pig.

153
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:35,702
Don't forget to leave me porridge!

154
00:09:35,737 --> 00:09:38,304
Ugh, I've got it set on Norwegian.

155
00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:40,039
Well, at least we're
not planning a vacation

156
00:09:40,075 --> 00:09:43,209
at the last second, we're
planning at the last minute.

157
00:09:43,244 --> 00:09:45,545
Can't afford Nine Flags Underwater,

158
00:09:45,724 --> 00:09:47,513
Yankees Fantasy Camp,

159
00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:49,482
Yankees Suck Fantasy Camp...

160
00:09:50,014 --> 00:09:52,254
Oh, my God, there's a place
we can afford.

161
00:09:53,289 --> 00:09:54,564
I've never heard of it.

162
00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:57,323
How can we be sure
it's what it seems in the ad?

163
00:09:57,392 --> 00:09:59,369
That's a good point.
On the other hand...

164
00:09:59,394 --> 00:10:01,060
only three rooms left!

165
00:10:01,096 --> 00:10:03,496
And 58 people are looking at them.

166
00:10:03,531 --> 00:10:05,632
All right, kids, let this be a lesson.

167
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:08,134
You should never succumb to something

168
00:10:08,169 --> 00:10:09,802
just because you are pressured to...

169
00:10:09,838 --> 00:10:11,471
One room left!

170
00:10:11,506 --> 00:10:14,576
I got it! Full price,
nonrefundable! Boom!

171
00:10:17,912 --> 00:10:20,213
Christmas is on me. Christmas is on me.

172
00:10:20,248 --> 00:10:22,882
Marge, darling, remember when we agreed

173
00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:24,917
you should take it down a few notches?

174
00:10:24,953 --> 00:10:27,387
Yeah, the notches.
Always with the notches.

175
00:10:27,422 --> 00:10:29,022
Marge, have you considered

176
00:10:29,057 --> 00:10:31,676
that we could spend Christmas
somewhere else?

177
00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:32,504
Home.

178
00:10:32,529 --> 00:10:34,621
If it's not home, it's not Christmas.

179
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:36,429
Home, home, home!

180
00:10:36,581 --> 00:10:38,548
We're gonna have to take her out cold.

181
00:10:53,662 --> 00:10:54,864
You're getting one little...

182
00:10:54,889 --> 00:10:56,349
sleeve and there you go.

183
00:10:56,384 --> 00:10:58,184
- Mom?
- Yes, Lisa? Yes?

184
00:10:58,211 --> 00:11:00,795
- That's not our cat.
- Damn it.

185
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,534
Mom, we came to sing some carols.

186
00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,404
And I'll pour the tea.

187
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:11,246
? Silent night ?

188
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,411
? Holy night ?

189
00:11:14,436 --> 00:11:17,570
? All is calm ?

190
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:20,873
? All is bright ?

191
00:11:20,909 --> 00:11:26,842
? Start counting backwards
from ten to one ?

192
00:11:26,998 --> 00:11:29,371
? When you wake up ?

193
00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:32,943
? We'll have Christmas fun... ?

194
00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:36,332
Wake up, sleepyhead.

195
00:11:36,357 --> 00:11:38,856
- We're in Tennessee.
- Tennessee?

196
00:11:38,881 --> 00:11:40,754
We packed all the luggage ourselves.

197
00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:42,645
After all that you've been through,

198
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,264
this Christmas is about you.

199
00:11:45,710 --> 00:11:47,676
The warm air helped my hands.

200
00:11:47,701 --> 00:11:49,645
I like Tennessee.

201
00:11:49,670 --> 00:11:51,381
That's fantastic.

202
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,062
However, we just entered Georgia.

203
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,054
Change the bumper sticker, boy.

204
00:11:57,732 --> 00:11:59,942
Dirty Birds! You got that right!

205
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:02,232
Yeah! Go, area team!

206
00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:15,098
Enjoying the sunshine?

207
00:12:15,123 --> 00:12:17,598
That's the Christmas gift
we get all year long.

208
00:12:17,623 --> 00:12:19,365
Can we please get to our room?

209
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,020
We just drove 2,000 miles in four hours.

210
00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:24,449
Of course.

211
00:12:24,474 --> 00:12:28,368
And thank you for reminding me
why I never had kids.

212
00:12:28,393 --> 00:12:29,896
Let's go, shall we?

213
00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:37,197
All of us in this one little room?

214
00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:38,621
I call sleeping in the bathtub!

215
00:12:38,646 --> 00:12:40,153
I want to sleep in the bathtub.

216
00:12:40,188 --> 00:12:43,090
There's no bathtub.
Just a combo shower and toilet.

217
00:12:43,115 --> 00:12:44,443
We call it a shoilet.

218
00:12:44,468 --> 00:12:46,835
Well, the fun is outside.

219
00:12:48,029 --> 00:12:50,326
Ooh, that's gonna be a big one.

220
00:12:52,524 --> 00:12:55,378
Oh, I don't know how we're gonna
give you kids a Christmas.

221
00:12:56,373 --> 00:12:58,738
Dad, Bart, meet me in the shoilet.

222
00:13:00,326 --> 00:13:01,174
D'oh!

223
00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:03,457
Let me tell you something
about your mother.

224
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,842
She is always as happy
as the saddest one of us.

225
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,207
I'm not always the saddest one.

226
00:13:10,232 --> 00:13:12,404
Polar bears are dying.

227
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,270
Oh, that's so sad.

228
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,996
So, rain or shine, we will
all have smiles on our faces.

229
00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:22,079
Her mood will be based
on the signals we are giving.

230
00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:23,270
All hands in.

231
00:13:23,295 --> 00:13:25,935
Okay, three, two, one...

232
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,496
Fake enthusiasm.

233
00:13:27,521 --> 00:13:29,068
What are you guys doing in here?

234
00:13:29,103 --> 00:13:30,703
Uh, having a great time.

235
00:13:30,738 --> 00:13:32,614
That's about to get better.

236
00:13:32,639 --> 00:13:34,271
Really?

237
00:13:35,662 --> 00:13:37,610
Who wants room service?

238
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,215
_

239
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,018
This is cool. Cartoon characters
no one's ever heard of.

240
00:13:46,054 --> 00:13:49,722
That's Mulberry Mutt, Tremendous
Boar and Thelonious Skunk.

241
00:13:49,757 --> 00:13:52,520
- Does somebody want a hug?
- No.

242
00:13:52,545 --> 00:13:55,372
- Oh, I think you do.
- Really, I don't.

243
00:13:55,397 --> 00:13:57,097
Hug the bull, boy.

244
00:13:57,122 --> 00:14:01,232
That's right, kid. Legally,
you have to initiate it.

245
00:14:04,857 --> 00:14:06,806
That's so sweet.

246
00:14:16,184 --> 00:14:19,324
You know, they say whenever
you travel, it grows your brain.

247
00:14:19,349 --> 00:14:21,332
This place is fantastic.

248
00:14:21,357 --> 00:14:22,755
This place is a dump.

249
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:27,035
I picked it! If you criticize this
place, you're criticizing me!

250
00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:29,184
Well, in that case,
this place is a loser

251
00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:30,699
with a gambling problem.

252
00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:33,512
That's the worst thing
the kids could possibly hear.

253
00:14:33,537 --> 00:14:36,102
I won once, when I met you.

254
00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:37,603
Aw...

255
00:14:37,873 --> 00:14:39,939
Come here.

256
00:14:42,138 --> 00:14:44,748
Oh, for God's sake. I'll stop this.

257
00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:53,483
Get this over with quick!
There's kids next door!

258
00:14:53,508 --> 00:14:55,141
There's kids in here, too!

259
00:14:59,787 --> 00:15:02,615
Makes you feel kind of
lonely, doesn't it?

260
00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:06,576
- Yeah.
- Well, it all starts with a hug.

261
00:15:06,987 --> 00:15:08,239
You want a hug?

262
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,142
Aw...

263
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,232
_

264
00:15:25,477 --> 00:15:27,877
Oh, boy. You kids are up early.

265
00:15:27,912 --> 00:15:30,013
Bart and I are going
to engage in perhaps

266
00:15:30,048 --> 00:15:33,616
the most popular Florida tradition...

267
00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:36,386
complaining to the manager.

268
00:15:37,256 --> 00:15:39,568
Hey, come on in.

269
00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:42,912
This place is nothing
like it looked on the Internet.

270
00:15:42,937 --> 00:15:45,105
We can't compete with the big boys.

271
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:48,521
Disney's already laying ground
for a new Family Guy World.

272
00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:51,614
? Lucky there's a family guy... ?

273
00:15:51,639 --> 00:15:54,951
I was the "it" boy in 2006.

274
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:57,246
I don't know when and I don't know how,

275
00:15:57,271 --> 00:15:59,474
but I am gonna get you.

276
00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:05,205
Well, at least something
in this place is clean now.

277
00:16:06,678 --> 00:16:09,917
That was the most horrifying
ride I've ever been on.

278
00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,668
_

279
00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:14,170
- _
- Where's Maggie?

280
00:16:17,629 --> 00:16:20,966
_

281
00:16:23,974 --> 00:16:27,412
Oh, this is so much fun.
You know how I love history.

282
00:16:27,949 --> 00:16:32,084
It's like looking at a rogues
gallery of America's villains.

283
00:16:32,246 --> 00:16:35,747
According to the soundtrack to
Hamilton, you were a real jerk.

284
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,362
Vice presidents rule!

285
00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:42,398
Aw. Are you really having a great time?

286
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:47,036
Really? Because I sure as heck am not.

287
00:16:48,142 --> 00:16:51,417
No, I'm FaceTiming Milhouse
'cause it's more fun.

288
00:16:51,663 --> 00:16:53,042
Whassup?

289
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:54,554
Milhouse, give me something.

290
00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:56,746
I'm trapped in The Hall
of Vice Presidents.

291
00:16:56,781 --> 00:17:00,283
Well, I'm kind of
the vice president of us.

292
00:17:00,328 --> 00:17:01,861
Got to go.

293
00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:04,474
And we've got to go. Back home.

294
00:17:04,499 --> 00:17:06,389
We can be in Springfield by Christmas

295
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:08,958
if we can just get our money back.

296
00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:10,764
Leave that to me.

297
00:17:28,718 --> 00:17:31,350
I shot my best friend in the face.

298
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:44,791
_

299
00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:46,815
_

300
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:55,480
There it is, the first snow.

301
00:17:55,505 --> 00:17:57,696
It smells so clean.

302
00:17:58,446 --> 00:18:01,807
_

303
00:18:02,189 --> 00:18:04,072
_

304
00:18:21,689 --> 00:18:23,064
Oh, my God.

305
00:18:23,089 --> 00:18:26,502
Moe serves Christmas dinner
to the old and needy.

306
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,540
Yeah, look, it's the one
nice thing I do. Ha.

307
00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:33,376
Guess old Moe's got a heart.

308
00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:36,797
Also, if I turn the rummy away,
they might wind up in church.

309
00:18:36,822 --> 00:18:38,188
That could turn their life around.

310
00:18:38,213 --> 00:18:39,882
That's bad for business.

311
00:18:39,907 --> 00:18:43,976
Moe, I never dreamed you were
capable of such a sweet thing.

312
00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:46,696
Oh, no... I beg you,
don't make a moment out of this.

313
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,157
Oh.

314
00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:51,439
Ha. You missed my tongue there,
but, eh, that's all right.

315
00:18:54,603 --> 00:18:57,018
Everyone, please close your eyes.

316
00:18:57,141 --> 00:18:59,374
Boy, you do the honors.

317
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:02,304
Dear Lord, we didn't get
the gift we wanted,

318
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,106
a GL50 9K Smart TV.

319
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:05,841
The place we went was a dump.

320
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:08,125
But isn't Christmas really about

321
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:10,500
being with your family
and your bartender?

322
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:12,688
We have traveled many miles to learn

323
00:19:12,713 --> 00:19:15,151
there's no place like Moe's.

324
00:19:15,176 --> 00:19:17,002
Amen.

325
00:19:17,836 --> 00:19:19,836
_

326
00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:22,221
- _
- If you're not going to buy something,

327
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,291
leave.

328
00:19:26,617 --> 00:19:29,804
Bart, I disrespected you and I'm sorry.

329
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,899
I've refunded your money plus $2,400

330
00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:36,150
if you pledge to never come here again.

331
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,043
And please tell
your sister she's pretty.

332
00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:41,679
Not Lisa, the baby.

333
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,525
You can't win in Florida.

334
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,772
Oh, my God, why don't
your batteries die?

335
00:19:45,797 --> 00:19:48,166
I have a solar head.

336
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:49,805
_

337
00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:51,022
Well, you'll be happy to know

338
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,877
we've put the money to good use.

339
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:57,416
Now, to celebrate Christmas
the way our ancestors did.

340
00:19:59,986 --> 00:20:03,336
You know, there's a real log
burning below it, right?

341
00:20:03,361 --> 00:20:05,603
Yeah, but is it HD?

342
00:20:05,628 --> 00:20:11,910
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