1
00:00:00,289 --> 00:00:01,802
What the hell?

2
00:00:01,887 --> 00:00:04,235
Oh, my God. He brought Mom's old car?

3
00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,022
You know,
that thing was perfect for Dede...

4
00:00:06,124 --> 00:00:07,590
loud, pulled way to the left,

5
00:00:07,692 --> 00:00:10,126
and constantly broke down in public.

6
00:00:10,194 --> 00:00:12,828
My ex-wife, Dede, died two months ago,

7
00:00:12,897 --> 00:00:15,264
and her husband, Jerry,
drove down with a bunch of junk

8
00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:16,699
she wanted us to have.

9
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:18,034
I always liked Jerry.

10
00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:20,303
Then why did you always
look at him funny?

11
00:00:20,371 --> 00:00:21,938
Because I knew what he was in for.

12
00:00:22,006 --> 00:00:23,239
Same way I look at the footage

13
00:00:23,308 --> 00:00:25,541
of those people boarding the Titanic.

14
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,910
Jay, this is for you.

15
00:00:28,012 --> 00:00:29,078
Oh, God. Is that her?

16
00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:30,947
No, no, no.
Apparently this is a jar of sand

17
00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:32,415
from your honeymoon in Miami Beach.

18
00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:34,483
Oh, yeah.
We stayed at the Fontainebleau.

19
00:00:34,552 --> 00:00:36,752
- Hmm.
- Guess who we took an elevator with?

20
00:00:36,821 --> 00:00:38,054
Jackie Gleason.

21
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,422
I told him we were the honeymooners,

22
00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:41,591
and, as a joke,
he threatened to punch Dede to the moon.

23
00:00:42,527 --> 00:00:43,459
Why is that funny?

24
00:00:43,528 --> 00:00:44,861
Well, that's my point. It wasn't right.

25
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:48,030
Claire, your mom wanted you
to have her old sports car.

26
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,198
Oh, great.

27
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:52,602
And Mitchell,
you get to keep her jewelry.

28
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:53,636
Oh, so Claire gets a car,

29
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,972
and I get a, uh, box of turquoise.

30
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,006
Want to trade?

31
00:00:57,075 --> 00:00:58,107
No. No, it's fine.

32
00:00:58,209 --> 00:01:00,409
I have a preteen girl at home,
and she likes to play dress-up.

33
00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:02,011
And, you know, Lily might like it, too.

34
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,814
Mitchell and Claire,
Dede wanted you two to decide

35
00:01:04,916 --> 00:01:06,182
who gets to keep her.

36
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:07,984
Sorry, Jay.
She left you out of this one.

37
00:01:08,052 --> 00:01:10,052
No worries, Jerr.
I'm good with the sand.

38
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:12,622
Hang on. Uh, what do you mean,
"gets to keep her"?

39
00:01:13,609 --> 00:01:14,857
That's Dede.

40
00:01:14,926 --> 00:01:17,326
We had her ashes organically
fused with the root ball.

41
00:01:17,428 --> 00:01:18,828
That is so Mom.

42
00:01:18,896 --> 00:01:21,897
I know. Setting up one last
thing for us to fight over,

43
00:01:21,966 --> 00:01:24,066
- because neither of us want that tree.
- Because both of us want the tree.

44
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,034
What?

45
00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:26,502
That was easy.

46
00:01:35,613 --> 00:01:37,880
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com

47
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,351
Oh, cool.

48
00:01:41,453 --> 00:01:43,819
Look. Nana left us her old
toy box from her house.

49
00:01:43,921 --> 00:01:46,155
Aww, bless her hoarding heart.

50
00:01:46,257 --> 00:01:50,559
Remember how I used to hide in here
and pop out like a scary monster?

51
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:52,695
I had so much promise back then.

52
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,799
A stick horse that vibrates?

53
00:01:56,901 --> 00:01:57,733
I never got the point.

54
00:01:57,835 --> 00:01:58,934
I don't know,

55
00:01:59,037 --> 00:02:01,504
but I remember spending
hours riding on it.

56
00:02:01,606 --> 00:02:02,538
Same.

57
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:03,639
Hm.

58
00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:06,342
Oh. Lookie here, Alex.

59
00:02:06,444 --> 00:02:08,844
The source of your greatest shame...

60
00:02:08,946 --> 00:02:11,714
the puzzle that I solved
but you never did.

61
00:02:12,357 --> 00:02:13,282
Who cares?

62
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:14,617
We were just dumb kids.

63
00:02:14,719 --> 00:02:15,718
Uh, no.

64
00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:17,586
We were dumb kids,

65
00:02:17,689 --> 00:02:19,422
and you were the genius.

66
00:02:19,524 --> 00:02:20,856
That must eat away at you.

67
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,058
Please.

68
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,493
I'm top of my class at a
prestigious university,

69
00:02:24,595 --> 00:02:26,629
and I co-invented a technology

70
00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:29,198
that has applications to
astrophysics and medicine.

71
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,199
And give me that damn puzzle!

72
00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:34,136
Oh, my God, it's Lulu!

73
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,791
She was my favorite toy.

74
00:02:36,674 --> 00:02:38,474
Mm.

75
00:02:42,623 --> 00:02:45,347
I guess I... I just really miss Nana.

76
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:46,816
Also I'm pregnant.

77
00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:48,317
Dylan and I haven't told anyone

78
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,152
because I'm still trying
to get my head around it,

79
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:55,091
but holding Lulu made it so real.

80
00:02:55,193 --> 00:02:58,294
I'm gonna have an actual baby.

81
00:02:58,396 --> 00:02:59,595
Aah, I'm so stressed!

82
00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:00,830
I wish it was the '50s

83
00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:02,298
when it was still healthy
to drink and smoke

84
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,799
when you're pregnant.

85
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:07,069
Wow.

86
00:03:07,171 --> 00:03:09,105
I cannot wait to restore this baby.

87
00:03:09,207 --> 00:03:10,740
My high school bully had one.

88
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:13,309
You'd be surprised how
fast this thing can go.

89
00:03:13,411 --> 00:03:16,112
No problem catching up
with a kid on a bike

90
00:03:16,214 --> 00:03:17,880
who left school 10 minutes early.

91
00:03:17,982 --> 00:03:20,015
I don't know if I want
another half-finished project

92
00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:21,450
rusting away in the garage.

93
00:03:21,552 --> 00:03:23,486
The only reason I stopped
working on robot lawnmower

94
00:03:23,588 --> 00:03:25,354
was 'cause he started getting too smart.

95
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,823
Come on, honey. Let's keep it.

96
00:03:27,925 --> 00:03:30,726
It reminds me of how
crazy my mom could be.

97
00:03:30,828 --> 00:03:33,229
I mean, what mother has a car like this?

98
00:03:33,331 --> 00:03:35,865
How's this? We take it for one drive.

99
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,633
If you're not smiling by
the time we come back,

100
00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:38,667
we get rid of it.

101
00:03:39,947 --> 00:03:40,803
- One drive?
- One drive.

102
00:03:40,905 --> 00:03:42,104
- One drive.
- One drive.

103
00:03:42,206 --> 00:03:44,373
Ugh, she used to double-buckle
me and Mitchell

104
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:45,641
into the front seat.

105
00:03:45,743 --> 00:03:47,676
Between that and the
homemade electric blankets,

106
00:03:47,779 --> 00:03:49,545
it's a wonder we're still alive.

107
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:53,015
What's with the plumber?

108
00:03:53,117 --> 00:03:55,042
Did Joe flush his Aquaman
down the toilet again?

109
00:03:55,053 --> 00:03:56,986
No. When my cousins left,

110
00:03:57,088 --> 00:03:59,288
they said that the hot
water in the guest bedroom

111
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:00,589
was not working.

112
00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:02,424
The plumber just said that
there's nothing wrong.

113
00:04:02,527 --> 00:04:04,860
Someone turned it off.

114
00:04:04,962 --> 00:04:06,195
Probably Joe.

115
00:04:06,297 --> 00:04:08,197
So, what are we thinking?
No play dates for a week?

116
00:04:08,299 --> 00:04:09,765
I know it was you.

117
00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:12,268
You wanted them gone,
and you froze them out.

118
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:14,203
I'm admitting nothing,

119
00:04:14,305 --> 00:04:17,072
but you said one cousin
would be here for one day,

120
00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:18,440
and there were three here for a week.

121
00:04:18,543 --> 00:04:19,875
I never said that.

122
00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:22,778
Why is Jerry still here?

123
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,047
I know. Something must be wrong.

124
00:04:25,149 --> 00:04:28,584
He's sitting in the car
like a sad little man.

125
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:30,219
We have to go and invite him in.

126
00:04:30,321 --> 00:04:32,154
No, no, no, no.
He'll move off eventually.

127
00:04:32,256 --> 00:04:34,723
Glor... Street sweeping is Thursday.

128
00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:38,360
Jerry, is everything okay?

129
00:04:38,462 --> 00:04:39,895
Yeah, does your truck need a push?

130
00:04:39,997 --> 00:04:41,664
It's the darnedest thing.

131
00:04:41,766 --> 00:04:43,632
I can't seem to drive away.

132
00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:46,368
Dropping off Dede's stuff was
the last check on the ol' list.

133
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:48,003
Heck if I'm not feeling pretty lost.

134
00:04:48,105 --> 00:04:50,639
Yeah, I get it.
Listen, you just drive down this street,

135
00:04:50,741 --> 00:04:52,274
turn right, and you'll hit the freeway.

136
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,909
Jerry, just come inside.

137
00:04:54,011 --> 00:04:55,010
No, I couldn't.

138
00:04:55,112 --> 00:04:56,579
Yeah, got to love a man with pride.

139
00:04:56,681 --> 00:04:58,881
That's the thing that'll
serve you well on the freeway.

140
00:04:58,983 --> 00:05:01,083
Just come inside,
I'll make you something to eat,

141
00:05:01,185 --> 00:05:02,585
and you can stay as long as you want.

142
00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:03,552
Right, Jay?

143
00:05:03,654 --> 00:05:05,187
One of these days, Gloria.

144
00:05:05,256 --> 00:05:06,522
One of these days what?

145
00:05:06,591 --> 00:05:08,757
Nothing. Just one of these days.

146
00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,827
All right. Where should we put Mom?

147
00:05:11,929 --> 00:05:13,362
Uh, not too close to the window.

148
00:05:13,431 --> 00:05:14,964
Don't want to spend the
next 20 years whispering.

149
00:05:15,032 --> 00:05:18,734
Okay, so, your mom can be a tree,
but when I told you my Uncle Honus

150
00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:20,536
fell into a thresher
and the next spring,

151
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:23,873
an owl appeared with his exact face
and pocket watch, you poo-pooed it.

152
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,407
Why are you being so difficult?

153
00:05:25,476 --> 00:05:27,343
Because when we first got together,

154
00:05:27,445 --> 00:05:29,378
you promised that someday
we would move back

155
00:05:29,447 --> 00:05:31,413
to my family farm, and every year,

156
00:05:31,515 --> 00:05:33,415
the someday gets kicked
further down the road

157
00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:34,483
like a nosy census taker.

158
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,186
And... And once you plant your mom here,

159
00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:38,187
we're never gonna leave.

160
00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:39,221
That's crazy.

161
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:42,424
And I-I-I don't think you want to
talk about promises we made back then.

162
00:05:42,493 --> 00:05:43,492
What are you suggesting?

163
00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:45,861
- I've kept every promise I've made.
- Really?

164
00:05:45,963 --> 00:05:48,931
You promised me a rose a
month for the rest of my life,

165
00:05:49,033 --> 00:05:51,233
so I guess I dropped dead 15 years ago.

166
00:05:51,302 --> 00:05:52,902
I read an article that said
it was environmentally ins...

167
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,503
I've never seen you read an article.

168
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,606
Also, you said
you'd finally watch "E.T.,"

169
00:05:57,708 --> 00:05:58,941
my all-time favorite movie.

170
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:00,376
Oh, it just seems so stupid.

171
00:06:00,478 --> 00:06:01,810
What am I caring about?

172
00:06:01,913 --> 00:06:04,904
A wrinkly puppet with a Christmas
light at the end of his creepy finger?

173
00:06:04,916 --> 00:06:08,717
And really? Me saying I would watch
some pandering sap-fest is the same

174
00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:12,054
as you saying I would someday
be reunited with my family?

175
00:06:12,156 --> 00:06:13,522
A promise is a promise.

176
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,258
I couldn't agree more.

177
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,459
I couldn't agree more.

178
00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:24,529
So, anyway,
you haven't missed much around here.

179
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:29,650
I'm sorry to be such a burden.

180
00:06:29,719 --> 00:06:31,852
It's just I don't know how to move on.

181
00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:34,054
I've been going through
incense like crazy.

182
00:06:34,156 --> 00:06:35,489
Oh, poor man.

183
00:06:35,591 --> 00:06:36,857
Here. Eat something.

184
00:06:36,926 --> 00:06:39,678
I know you're a vegetarian,
so I made you tomato soup.

185
00:06:39,713 --> 00:06:40,227
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

186
00:06:40,296 --> 00:06:42,096
That looks pretty good.
You have any left over for me?

187
00:06:42,198 --> 00:06:43,597
Aw, I threw it out.

188
00:06:43,666 --> 00:06:46,767
I know that you don't like
things staying around too long.

189
00:06:46,869 --> 00:06:48,002
Mmm.

190
00:06:48,104 --> 00:06:49,737
She's mad at me.

191
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:51,805
Her family overstayed their welcome,

192
00:06:51,874 --> 00:06:53,407
and I turned off the hot water,

193
00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:54,541
took a few bulbs out of the room.

194
00:06:54,644 --> 00:06:55,843
You know how it is when you're married.

195
00:06:55,945 --> 00:06:57,678
Dede and I never had a cross word.

196
00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:58,812
What?

197
00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:00,214
That is not possible.

198
00:07:00,283 --> 00:07:02,182
Yep. If things ever got heated,

199
00:07:02,251 --> 00:07:03,651
I'd come up behind her,

200
00:07:03,753 --> 00:07:04,685
put my hands on her neck...

201
00:07:04,787 --> 00:07:05,986
I'm with you so far.

202
00:07:06,055 --> 00:07:08,088
...then massage her and
tell her she was right.

203
00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:09,890
But what if she wasn't right?

204
00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:12,459
That's ego talking.

205
00:07:12,528 --> 00:07:14,895
In Buddhism, we believe it's
better to conquer yourself

206
00:07:14,997 --> 00:07:16,230
than win a thousand battles.

207
00:07:16,265 --> 00:07:18,832
That's why Nepal is always
crushing it at the Olympics.

208
00:07:18,901 --> 00:07:20,734
Jay, an enlightened man
would go over there

209
00:07:20,836 --> 00:07:23,070
and say, "Gloria,
I love and respect you,

210
00:07:23,139 --> 00:07:25,072
"so of course I love
and respect your family.

211
00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:26,573
I am sorry."

212
00:07:26,642 --> 00:07:27,908
But it was all her fault.

213
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:29,944
She wouldn't admit it, but she told me

214
00:07:30,012 --> 00:07:32,780
one person was staying
with us for one day.

215
00:07:32,848 --> 00:07:36,116
That's her text,
but what was her subtext?

216
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,852
Jerry, you're a genius.

217
00:07:38,955 --> 00:07:40,888
She sent me a text.

218
00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:41,889
I have the proof.

219
00:07:41,991 --> 00:07:42,856
Gloria?

220
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:44,425
- What?
- Right here.

221
00:07:44,527 --> 00:07:46,860
You don't have to walk over here.

222
00:07:46,929 --> 00:07:49,096
I can read your giant
font from across the room.

223
00:07:49,198 --> 00:07:51,231
"Jay, don't call the police
when you come home.

224
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:52,333
"It's my cousin.

225
00:07:52,435 --> 00:07:55,369
He's staying with us for one day."

226
00:07:55,438 --> 00:07:57,071
Let me see.

227
00:08:05,147 --> 00:08:07,414
Walk me through that
Buddhist nonsense again.

228
00:08:07,483 --> 00:08:09,550
Whoo-hoo!

229
00:08:09,652 --> 00:08:12,219
Fun, huh?
Feel that wind and smell that air.

230
00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:13,988
Yeah, it's so bumpy.

231
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:16,323
Sports suspension.
Nothing between me and the road

232
00:08:16,392 --> 00:08:17,858
except my knuckle-less gloves.

233
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,460
Why do you even have those?

234
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:20,527
Oh, a quirk of the Dunphys.

235
00:08:20,596 --> 00:08:22,196
My fingers get cold,
but my knuckles get hot.

236
00:08:22,298 --> 00:08:23,197
Ah.

237
00:08:23,265 --> 00:08:24,531
Check it out!

238
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,899
There's an 8-track player. I love it.

239
00:08:25,968 --> 00:08:27,401
Let's crank something.

240
00:08:27,503 --> 00:08:30,004
Never heard of this band...
Head Cleaner.

241
00:08:30,106 --> 00:08:32,306
Yeah, why don't we just
listen to whatever's in there?

242
00:08:33,909 --> 00:08:35,409
Oh, my God.

243
00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:38,512
- Oh, this takes me back.
- Yeah, I love it.

244
00:08:38,614 --> 00:08:41,915
? Get your motor goin' ?

245
00:08:41,984 --> 00:08:44,351
? Heading for the doorway ?

246
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,888
? Cooking an adventure ?

247
00:08:47,957 --> 00:08:50,557
? And then we make that doorway ?

248
00:08:50,659 --> 00:08:51,992
So fun!

249
00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:53,827
You're smiling. You love the car.

250
00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:55,229
Ah, I just remembered something.

251
00:08:55,297 --> 00:08:56,230
What? Tell me.

252
00:08:56,298 --> 00:08:58,065
It's a... It's a thing from high school.

253
00:08:58,134 --> 00:09:00,134
Come on.
There are no secrets on the open road.

254
00:09:00,236 --> 00:09:03,237
I just remembered that I lost
my virginity in this car.

255
00:09:03,703 --> 00:09:04,738
What's that now?

256
00:09:04,807 --> 00:09:07,307
Yeah, my boyfriend
snuck the car out at night

257
00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:08,509
and then, you know...

258
00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:09,843
? He found the doorway ?

259
00:09:12,581 --> 00:09:13,781
Oh, my knuckles are overheating.

260
00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:15,315
This isn't bothering you, is it, Phil?

261
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:16,850
I mean,
you told me about your first time.

262
00:09:16,919 --> 00:09:19,019
I told you about that to
explain why I hate bees so much.

263
00:09:19,121 --> 00:09:20,220
Let's just not talk about this anymore.

264
00:09:20,322 --> 00:09:21,255
Okay.

265
00:09:21,357 --> 00:09:25,359
? Born to be wild ?

266
00:09:25,461 --> 00:09:27,261
This is the song that was playing,
isn't it?

267
00:09:27,329 --> 00:09:28,262
It's one of them.

268
00:09:31,485 --> 00:09:32,733
I'm gonna fix lunch. Want some?

269
00:09:32,802 --> 00:09:34,104
You're eating lunch?

270
00:09:34,137 --> 00:09:36,036
Is there some new Internet
challenge I'm not aware of?

271
00:09:36,105 --> 00:09:37,738
And why is your doll in bandages?

272
00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:40,507
You know me.
I always loved playing doctor.

273
00:09:40,576 --> 00:09:42,743
The truth is,
I accidentally ran her over

274
00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:44,645
and ripped her arm off,
which might have been fine

275
00:09:44,713 --> 00:09:48,248
if that was the only
baby-mangling issue I had today.

276
00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:53,253
Oh, my God!

277
00:09:53,355 --> 00:09:54,688
Oh, uh, uh...

278
00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:57,157
Oh, my God.

279
00:09:57,259 --> 00:09:58,759
I'm not cut out to be a mother.

280
00:09:58,861 --> 00:10:02,029
Then again, a real baby
is easier than a doll, right?

281
00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:05,199
Like, a real baby would let you know

282
00:10:05,301 --> 00:10:07,334
if it was on fire.

283
00:10:08,404 --> 00:10:10,938
Oh, God, why are you crying?

284
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,307
Did you just win the
weirdest beauty pageant ever?

285
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,143
Promises kept, Mitchell...
180 months of roses,

286
00:10:16,245 --> 00:10:19,213
and I just watched the
most beautiful love story

287
00:10:19,315 --> 00:10:21,348
between boy and alien.

288
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:24,251
Why can't the world have
the hearts of children?

289
00:10:24,353 --> 00:10:25,686
Uh-huh.

290
00:10:26,248 --> 00:10:27,621
You know, I think the thing
that touched me the most

291
00:10:27,723 --> 00:10:32,593
was how we were really rooting
for E.T. to find his way home.

292
00:10:32,695 --> 00:10:35,295
I bet you were pretty thrilled
to stumble upon that coincidence.

293
00:10:35,397 --> 00:10:36,236
I didn't hate it.

294
00:10:36,332 --> 00:10:38,866
Anyway, I'm all caught up
in the promises department.

295
00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:39,933
Your serve.

296
00:10:40,002 --> 00:10:42,035
Cam, I just started
at the D.A.'s office.

297
00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:43,904
I... I can't move anytime soon.

298
00:10:43,973 --> 00:10:45,472
Plus, what about Lily's school?

299
00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:47,074
They have schools in Grasshopper.

300
00:10:47,176 --> 00:10:48,242
Do they?

301
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,844
- Plus, Lily has so many friends here.
- Does she?

302
00:10:50,913 --> 00:10:52,846
Did I hear my name?

303
00:10:52,915 --> 00:10:55,182
What are you two yentas gabbing about?

304
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:58,252
We were just talking about moving
to Grandma and Grandpa's farm

305
00:10:58,354 --> 00:11:00,020
in... in the heart of Tornado Alley.

306
00:11:00,089 --> 00:11:03,059
Oh, God. Cam... Cam.
Look, she's clearly terrified.

307
00:11:03,094 --> 00:11:05,359
Yeah, well, don't worry, sweetie,
because it's already been determined.

308
00:11:05,461 --> 00:11:06,827
We're staying here forever,

309
00:11:06,929 --> 00:11:10,998
because other daddy is planting
dead Nana in the backyard.

310
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:11,965
I'm out.

311
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,800
Okay, it was my mother's last wish

312
00:11:13,903 --> 00:11:15,936
that one of us take her,
and Claire doesn't want her.

313
00:11:16,038 --> 00:11:16,970
What do you want me to do?

314
00:11:17,072 --> 00:11:18,172
Well, what do you want me to do?

315
00:11:18,274 --> 00:11:20,274
The farm has been in my
family for 100 years.

316
00:11:20,376 --> 00:11:22,306
You know, I'm next in line,
and you know Daddy.

317
00:11:22,341 --> 00:11:23,544
H-He's slowing down.

318
00:11:23,646 --> 00:11:27,314
Your mother just sent us a video of
him winning a log-rolling contest.

319
00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:30,117
Only in his age group,
and he was so spent the next day,

320
00:11:30,219 --> 00:11:31,652
he slept through his first rooster crow

321
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:33,587
and his snooze rooster crow.

322
00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,321
Just admit it... you have no intention

323
00:11:35,322 --> 00:11:36,989
of keeping your promise
of moving to Missouri.

324
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:38,209
You know what? You're right.

325
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:41,446
I... I can't ever imagine myself
living on that farm. I'm sorry.

326
00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:42,447
Well, there it is.

327
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:46,565
I'm just glad E.T. didn't
land at your house.

328
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,922
Okay, don't give me that look.

329
00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:51,249
You'll get to go back to Missouri

330
00:11:51,322 --> 00:11:54,022
when your mom gets released from pris...
uh, princess camp.

331
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:56,491
You're really hitting the
gum pretty hard, aren't you?

332
00:11:56,526 --> 00:11:59,027
How do I do this?
Do I... Do I just push down?

333
00:11:59,095 --> 00:11:59,994
I don't know.

334
00:12:00,505 --> 00:12:01,796
Nope.

335
00:12:02,866 --> 00:12:04,032
I got off to a slow start,

336
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,900
but eventually I... I found my rhythm.

337
00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:07,502
And...
And once I broke that sprinkler line,

338
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:09,404
the... the water
did most of the digging for me.

339
00:12:09,472 --> 00:12:12,707
All right, let's go. Just one last pull.

340
00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:14,942
Ah! Ah, okay, that's my ankle.

341
00:12:15,123 --> 00:12:16,323
I'm stuck.

342
00:12:16,413 --> 00:12:19,347
Cal, so, what I'm gonna
need you to do is go insi...

343
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:22,150
Cal. Cal!

344
00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:26,087
What? What is it, boy?

345
00:12:27,312 --> 00:12:29,023
Mitchell? H-He's in trouble?

346
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,859
Trapped in a hole? Show me.

347
00:12:34,064 --> 00:12:36,464
- Oh, my God, you're cheating.
- No.

348
00:12:36,533 --> 00:12:37,965
You're looking at ways
to solve the puzzle.

349
00:12:38,068 --> 00:12:40,535
How'd you do it, you pea-brain?

350
00:12:40,637 --> 00:12:41,636
Aah!

351
00:12:42,839 --> 00:12:44,205
What is wrong with me?

352
00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:45,973
Maybe Dr. Johnson is right.

353
00:12:46,042 --> 00:12:47,909
Maybe I don't have what
it takes to live on Mars.

354
00:12:49,179 --> 00:12:50,878
Stop! Stop.

355
00:12:50,947 --> 00:12:51,913
It's not you.

356
00:12:51,981 --> 00:12:53,214
After I solved the puzzle,

357
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:54,882
I wanted to make sure you couldn't,

358
00:12:54,951 --> 00:12:56,517
so I broke a few pieces,

359
00:12:56,586 --> 00:12:57,618
glued some others together.

360
00:12:57,687 --> 00:12:58,753
It can't be solved.

361
00:12:59,901 --> 00:13:01,823
I've had nightmares over that puzzle!

362
00:13:01,891 --> 00:13:03,024
I cried about it in therapy!

363
00:13:03,093 --> 00:13:04,025
Stop! Not the hair!
You're gonna fizz it.

364
00:13:04,127 --> 00:13:06,861
Hey, what the hell? Break it up.

365
00:13:06,963 --> 00:13:08,129
Luke's not playing fair.

366
00:13:08,198 --> 00:13:09,964
Yeah, well, you make him feel dumb,

367
00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:11,299
and he acts like it doesn't bother him,

368
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:13,301
but it does. And, Luke,

369
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:15,436
you know better than to mess
with someone so uptight.

370
00:13:15,505 --> 00:13:16,704
What do we always say?

371
00:13:16,773 --> 00:13:18,940
Don't break Alex. She's our safety net.

372
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:20,742
Now, you both need to calm down.

373
00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:21,843
Luke, walk it off.

374
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:24,312
Oh, no.

375
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:25,480
Where's Lulu?

376
00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:26,914
Wh... Huh?

377
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:27,949
The doll?

378
00:13:28,051 --> 00:13:29,984
Who cares?

379
00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:35,857
Haley, what's going on with you today?

380
00:13:35,925 --> 00:13:36,858
Are you okay?

381
00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:39,327
Okay, um...

382
00:13:39,395 --> 00:13:42,463
So, no one else knows,
especially Mom and Dad,

383
00:13:42,532 --> 00:13:46,100
so you can't tell anybody, but...

384
00:13:46,169 --> 00:13:47,635
I'm pregnant.

385
00:13:47,737 --> 00:13:48,703
You're pregnant?

386
00:13:48,805 --> 00:13:50,872
Damn it, Luke!

387
00:13:52,308 --> 00:13:53,241
Wow.

388
00:13:53,343 --> 00:13:55,910
Guys, don't look at me like that, okay?

389
00:13:56,012 --> 00:13:59,280
You must think I'm some
irresponsible idiot, don't you?

390
00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:02,717
Um, uh, it's a... Wow, that's...

391
00:14:02,786 --> 00:14:04,619
You got... That's a lot to process.

392
00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:06,487
I...

393
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,456
D-Do you know who's the...

394
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:09,490
It's Dylan's.

395
00:14:09,592 --> 00:14:10,992
Oh. What a joyous...

396
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,026
Oh, save it.

397
00:14:12,128 --> 00:14:13,861
He's been great, actually.

398
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:17,064
I'm the disaster. I mean, look at Lulu.

399
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,814
I'm gonna be a horrible mother.

400
00:14:19,372 --> 00:14:23,471
Okay, first, it's just a doll.

401
00:14:23,573 --> 00:14:26,166
And you've been taking
care of us our whole lives.

402
00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:29,310
Yeah. Remember how you used to pick out

403
00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:31,813
my first day of school outfit
so I wouldn't get beat up?

404
00:14:31,881 --> 00:14:35,216
Or how you'd hold the book while
I read myself a bedtime story?

405
00:14:35,285 --> 00:14:36,951
And you're still doing it.

406
00:14:37,053 --> 00:14:40,421
You just swooped in and
handled our fight like a pro.

407
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:43,925
And you're understanding and
loving and a total badass.

408
00:14:44,027 --> 00:14:45,393
She's right.

409
00:14:45,461 --> 00:14:47,562
You're the kind of person
that can patch things up

410
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:50,031
if, say, Alex ever found out

411
00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:52,266
that I re-arranged the
stickers on her Rubik's Cube.

412
00:14:52,368 --> 00:14:55,002
You son of a...

413
00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:57,171
Aah! Hair, hair! Haley, help!

414
00:14:58,575 --> 00:15:00,775
Oh. Well, I'm smiling,

415
00:15:00,877 --> 00:15:02,510
so I guess we're keeping the car.

416
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:04,078
No, you know what? You're right.

417
00:15:04,147 --> 00:15:06,380
It's not safe,
and it's just gonna take up space.

418
00:15:06,935 --> 00:15:08,783
Honey, did I say something wrong?

419
00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:09,817
Are you feeling bad?

420
00:15:09,886 --> 00:15:11,819
Well, I-I guess if I'm being honest,

421
00:15:11,888 --> 00:15:13,621
I'm a-a little worried that
every time I get in the car,

422
00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:15,957
I'll picture you and, uh...

423
00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:16,924
Todd.

424
00:15:17,026 --> 00:15:18,226
- Todd?
- Todd.

425
00:15:18,294 --> 00:15:19,794
Todd was the name of my bully.

426
00:15:19,863 --> 00:15:20,895
It's getting realer.

427
00:15:20,964 --> 00:15:22,430
I mean, how would you feel

428
00:15:22,532 --> 00:15:25,299
about driving around in the
sweet ride I lost my virginity in?

429
00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:28,836
Do you really think you can track down
the ox cart from the Renaissance fair?

430
00:15:28,905 --> 00:15:31,472
I only got to second
base in the ox cart.

431
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:33,908
If it makes you uncomfortable,
we can sell the car.

432
00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:35,743
- Really?
- Yeah.

433
00:15:35,845 --> 00:15:36,644
Thank you.

434
00:15:36,713 --> 00:15:39,013
But for what it's worth,

435
00:15:39,082 --> 00:15:41,782
I don't want to keep it because
I had so much great sex in it.

436
00:15:41,851 --> 00:15:45,086
- So much?
- No, it's because of what happened the next day.

437
00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:49,123
My mom, ugh,
she found the condom wrapper

438
00:15:49,192 --> 00:15:52,693
under the seat,
and it must have freaked her out.

439
00:15:52,762 --> 00:15:56,163
But instead of shaming me

440
00:15:56,199 --> 00:16:01,035
or... or embarrassing me with some long,
awful lecture,

441
00:16:01,104 --> 00:16:03,437
she was cool.

442
00:16:03,473 --> 00:16:05,907
She wanted to make sure that
I was okay with everything

443
00:16:05,975 --> 00:16:08,309
and that it had all
been a good experience.

444
00:16:08,411 --> 00:16:09,267
But...

445
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:12,280
Wow.

446
00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:15,716
That must be why she
wanted me to have the car.

447
00:16:15,785 --> 00:16:18,819
That talk meant as much
to my mom as it did to me.

448
00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:21,222
That's incredibly sweet,

449
00:16:21,257 --> 00:16:23,958
and, if it means that much to you,
you should keep it.

450
00:16:24,027 --> 00:16:25,826
But I doubt I'll ever
feel comfortable in it.

451
00:16:26,721 --> 00:16:28,562
We can fix that.

452
00:16:32,468 --> 00:16:33,868
I like where this is going.

453
00:16:33,937 --> 00:16:37,038
I'm gonna make you the best
sex I ever had in this car.

454
00:16:37,106 --> 00:16:38,739
That's a lot of pressure.
Let's aim for top three.

455
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:39,840
Mm.

456
00:16:44,196 --> 00:16:47,114
Gloria. I have something to say.

457
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:50,985
My approach cost me a phone and
a second visit from the plumber,

458
00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:53,554
so I decided to try Jerry's advice

459
00:16:53,589 --> 00:16:56,924
and give Gloria a heartfelt,
sincere apology.

460
00:16:57,026 --> 00:16:58,426
How hard could that be to fake?

461
00:16:58,494 --> 00:17:01,996
I was wrong to chase off your cousins.

462
00:17:02,065 --> 00:17:04,765
I'm sorry that I didn't...

463
00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:07,034
take your feelings into consideration.

464
00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:10,938
You deserve to be respected.

465
00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:13,007
What I should've said was I love you,

466
00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:14,775
so I love your family.

467
00:17:14,877 --> 00:17:17,778
Please forgive me for my rude behavior.

468
00:17:17,847 --> 00:17:20,781
Jay, this is all I ever wanted.

469
00:17:21,335 --> 00:17:24,585
For you to come to me like this,
it means the world to me.

470
00:17:24,687 --> 00:17:25,886
I'm sorry.

471
00:17:25,955 --> 00:17:28,990
I should've been more forward
about my cousin's visit.

472
00:17:29,092 --> 00:17:32,593
And I was wrong for
crushing your cellphone.

473
00:17:32,695 --> 00:17:33,928
Can you ever forgive me?

474
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,263
Well, it may take a little while,
but sure,

475
00:17:36,332 --> 00:17:37,264
I guess I can.

476
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:38,766
You know what I'm going to do?

477
00:17:38,835 --> 00:17:42,370
I'm gonna go to that
butcher shop that you like.

478
00:17:43,139 --> 00:17:45,406
And, if Jerry doesn't mind,

479
00:17:45,508 --> 00:17:48,309
I'm gonna buy you
a beautiful steak for dinner.

480
00:17:48,411 --> 00:17:50,277
Hey, it's your house.
You do what's best for you.

481
00:17:50,346 --> 00:17:51,846
Come to my house, I'm going to be nude.

482
00:17:51,914 --> 00:17:54,015
We're never going to go
to your house, Jerry.

483
00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:55,616
Did you hear that, Stella?

484
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:56,784
We're gonna have a steak.

485
00:17:56,853 --> 00:17:57,985
Jerry, you're a genius.

486
00:17:58,054 --> 00:17:59,720
- This is life-changing.
- What did I tell you?

487
00:17:59,789 --> 00:18:01,455
I wish I had tried this years ago.

488
00:18:01,557 --> 00:18:04,492
This would've made my life
with Dede downright tolerable.

489
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,493
Who knows?

490
00:18:05,561 --> 00:18:06,794
Maybe we even could've been happy.

491
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:07,862
I'm glad you think so.

492
00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,231
But I'm not the one you need to tell.

493
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:13,868
Hey, Dede, it's me, Jay.
Just wondering how you're doing.

494
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:14,902
Dad?

495
00:18:15,004 --> 00:18:16,737
Uh, it's Saturday here.

496
00:18:16,806 --> 00:18:18,906
You're not leaving a voicemail.

497
00:18:18,975 --> 00:18:19,907
- From the heart.
- Yeah.

498
00:18:20,009 --> 00:18:22,009
What I wanted to say is

499
00:18:22,111 --> 00:18:25,413
I could've handled a lot of
things better in our relationship.

500
00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:26,414
Mm.

501
00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:27,982
I guess I wasn't a very good partner.

502
00:18:28,051 --> 00:18:29,216
I dug in a lot.

503
00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:32,086
I never thought of things
from your point of view.

504
00:18:32,155 --> 00:18:35,456
I guess I always needed
to get my own way.

505
00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:36,957
Anyway, you were a good woman,

506
00:18:37,026 --> 00:18:38,292
and we had some fun times,

507
00:18:38,394 --> 00:18:40,261
especially in the sack.

508
00:18:40,363 --> 00:18:41,829
Never had a problem there.

509
00:18:41,898 --> 00:18:43,731
Careful.
That's my wife you're talking to.

510
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,566
- Oh, sorry, Jerr, yeah.
- Okay.

511
00:18:45,635 --> 00:18:47,868
I hope you grow up into a nice,
big tree,

512
00:18:47,970 --> 00:18:50,104
a-and I hope you don't
get any of those beetles

513
00:18:50,206 --> 00:18:51,172
that are killing everything.

514
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,107
And when you settle
in in a little while,

515
00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:55,242
maybe I'll bring Joe over
and he can climb you.

516
00:18:55,311 --> 00:18:57,645
- Mm.
- Amen.

517
00:18:58,335 --> 00:18:59,513
You done?

518
00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:00,748
Yeah, I think so.

519
00:19:00,817 --> 00:19:02,149
Mind if I say a word?

520
00:19:02,251 --> 00:19:04,051
She's all yours.

521
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:06,253
Jay was a big man.

522
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:08,456
He apologized to his wife.

523
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,357
And do you know what she did?

524
00:19:10,426 --> 00:19:11,959
She apologized back!

525
00:19:12,508 --> 00:19:14,628
Did you ever do that even once?!

526
00:19:14,730 --> 00:19:18,799
I apologized to you a thousand times,
and you let me just eat it.

527
00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,301
Well, I'm tired of telling
you you're always right,

528
00:19:20,403 --> 00:19:21,569
'cause guess what?

529
00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:24,071
That dolphin did not recognize you.

530
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:25,840
Your haikus had too many syllables.

531
00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:28,342
And trust me, vegans do need deodorant!

532
00:19:28,444 --> 00:19:31,312
All right. Come on.

533
00:19:31,414 --> 00:19:32,847
Come on, kid.
Let me buy you a nice steak.

534
00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:33,881
Yeah.

535
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:35,916
Hey. Here.

536
00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:37,485
I-I want you to eat something.

537
00:19:37,587 --> 00:19:38,586
Be careful.

538
00:19:38,654 --> 00:19:40,521
Thank you for taking
such good care of me,

539
00:19:40,623 --> 00:19:41,555
even when you're mad.

540
00:19:41,624 --> 00:19:43,691
No. My gosh, I am not mad.

541
00:19:43,793 --> 00:19:45,059
And I shouldn't have pushed.

542
00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:48,429
I-I'm sorry, but, you know,
if we learn one thing today,

543
00:19:48,531 --> 00:19:51,365
it's that you couldn't
survive on a farm.

544
00:19:51,467 --> 00:19:52,900
I'll be fine,

545
00:19:53,002 --> 00:19:55,302
- because I'll be with you.
- What?

546
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:58,272
I guess w-when I look at
things from your point of view,

547
00:19:58,374 --> 00:20:00,808
I... I made a promise.

548
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:03,310
When your dad needs you
to take over the farm,

549
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:04,345
I'm in.

550
00:20:04,447 --> 00:20:06,614
Mitchell, that means so much to me,

551
00:20:06,716 --> 00:20:08,616
and you're gonna love it.

552
00:20:08,718 --> 00:20:10,851
The fresh air, and there's no traffic.

553
00:20:10,953 --> 00:20:13,954
Oh, and with a second lawyer in town,
we could reopen the courthouse.

554
00:20:14,056 --> 00:20:16,056
H-Have you ever milked a goat?

555
00:20:16,159 --> 00:20:18,402
Have you ever had fresh
milk right from the spigot?

556
00:20:18,495 --> 00:20:20,027
Oh, unbelievable.

557
00:20:20,129 --> 00:20:21,795
You do have to be careful
of snakes and mice and rats.

558
00:20:21,898 --> 00:20:23,864
There's a ton of field mice.

559
00:20:23,966 --> 00:20:26,484
They scare me. One ran up my
sleeve one time when I was a kid.

560
00:20:28,385 --> 00:20:31,493
This car is smaller than I remember.
I think I'm just less flexible?

561
00:20:31,595 --> 00:20:33,628
- I think I threw out my lap.
- Oh.

562
00:20:34,112 --> 00:20:36,098
We were, um,
just cleaning out the garage.

563
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,532
Mm, nice try. We heard everything.

564
00:20:37,634 --> 00:20:38,733
Yeah, although around the finish line,

565
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:40,969
we kind of lost track of who was who.

566
00:20:41,071 --> 00:20:44,272
I can't believe Mom caught you
having sex in her car again.

567
00:20:44,374 --> 00:20:46,808
You're calling the tree Mom? Okay.

568
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,710
So, listen, after some reflection,

569
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,191
we decided that she
might be better off here.

570
00:20:51,226 --> 00:20:52,314
Now, before you say no...

571
00:20:52,349 --> 00:20:53,582
I'd actually really like that.

572
00:20:54,247 --> 00:20:55,217
Hey!

573
00:20:55,319 --> 00:20:57,168
What was all that
screeching in the garage?

574
00:20:57,203 --> 00:20:58,086
Are the raccoons back?

575
00:20:58,088 --> 00:20:59,254
Damn it!

576
00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:05,392
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