1
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_

2
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_

3
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D'oh!

4
00:00:53,741 --> 00:00:55,273
Sorry, no room.

5
00:00:56,188 --> 00:01:02,827
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

6
00:01:02,852 --> 00:01:05,206
_

7
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:08,232
I am a broccoli, I help keep you lean.

8
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My head's on a stalk, and my color is...

9
00:01:12,163 --> 00:01:14,031
Is...

10
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,718
Uh, is... uh...

11
00:01:19,144 --> 00:01:20,638
Oh, come on, you little nitwit.

12
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:23,146
It's the color of your costume,
for God's sake.

13
00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:24,348
Purple.

14
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:26,570
Get off my stage, out of my sight,

15
00:01:26,595 --> 00:01:28,795
- and into your parents' car.
- Okay.

16
00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:31,623
You'll never work in
second grade theater again.

17
00:01:31,648 --> 00:01:32,826
Hooray!

18
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:35,487
Up next, the heartwarming story

19
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,663
of the origin of veal.

20
00:01:43,702 --> 00:01:45,656
Hello, friend-o.

21
00:01:49,361 --> 00:01:52,662
No, no! You promised
you would cut this scene.

22
00:01:52,687 --> 00:01:57,179
No, no, I cut your scene
because you were such a noodge.

23
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,952
- Forget it. Show's over!
- Woo-hoo!

24
00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:03,842
Ugh, fine.

25
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:07,366
Can I please get back
my after-show cupcakes?

26
00:02:07,402 --> 00:02:10,890
- We already ate them.
- No!

27
00:02:10,915 --> 00:02:13,070
Oh, I broke the cardinal rule,

28
00:02:13,095 --> 00:02:15,162
never invest in your own production.

29
00:02:15,410 --> 00:02:17,781
But I'm gonna take back my duct tape!

30
00:02:19,369 --> 00:02:23,137
And my bulbs. Ow, ow, ow. Hot, hot, hot.

31
00:02:23,251 --> 00:02:26,320
Am I acting? No.

32
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:32,191
I'm stuck in my pork chop suit.

33
00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:34,250
I've become everything I hate.

34
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,298
Huh? Oh. Uh, you were
the best one, sweetie.

35
00:02:39,323 --> 00:02:42,391
Wha...? I didn't even get to do my line.

36
00:02:42,437 --> 00:02:45,304
Oh, I think I'm gonna cry.

37
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:50,093
Oh, no. I hate to see a pork chop cry.

38
00:03:00,276 --> 00:03:01,068
Ooh!

39
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:06,046
Green! Green. Green. Green.

40
00:03:06,071 --> 00:03:09,265
Too late now, boy.
Just, uh, play with the siren.

41
00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:18,581
76. 82. 79.

42
00:03:19,054 --> 00:03:21,340
Homer, that's the weather.

43
00:03:21,992 --> 00:03:23,375
D'oh!

44
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:26,612
Homer, I want you
to do something with Lisa.

45
00:03:26,851 --> 00:03:28,514
I am.

46
00:03:28,549 --> 00:03:30,515
Isn't that right, honey? Oops.

47
00:03:31,452 --> 00:03:34,520
You're not speaking to her
or even making eye contact.

48
00:03:34,555 --> 00:03:36,489
Oh, you'd be surprised at the things

49
00:03:36,524 --> 00:03:38,324
my eyes are in contact with.

50
00:03:38,359 --> 00:03:41,327
Okay. Well, what is she doing right now?

51
00:03:41,362 --> 00:03:43,629
Uh, uh... she's riding her pony?

52
00:03:43,664 --> 00:03:46,298
Uh, uh... blowing her clarinet?

53
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:48,763
Ooh, ooh, ooh! Protesting a whale.

54
00:03:48,788 --> 00:03:51,337
I'm reading To Kill a Mockingbird.

55
00:03:51,372 --> 00:03:55,732
Now just remember, it's set
in the South a long time ago.

56
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,377
The terrible racism you're reading about

57
00:03:58,403 --> 00:04:01,076
is now everywhere.

58
00:04:01,077 --> 00:04:02,592
_

59
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,943
We're gonna shop at all
the stores you like

60
00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:07,520
that have a chair I can sit in,
except the chair store.

61
00:04:07,555 --> 00:04:09,321
I'm not allowed back there.

62
00:04:09,357 --> 00:04:12,391
Kent Brockman here interviewing
three blue-collar men

63
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,945
who voted for Trump.
How do you feel now?

64
00:04:14,970 --> 00:04:17,763
- Please stop interviewing us.
- Never.

65
00:04:17,788 --> 00:04:18,952
Here's the store.

66
00:04:18,977 --> 00:04:21,277
Let's get something sweet
for my little girl.

67
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:24,359
Sugar and spice and
everything... What the?!

68
00:04:24,384 --> 00:04:26,184
"Twerking Girl"?

69
00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:29,038
"Ho, Sweet Ho"? "Baby's First Thong"?

70
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:31,287
Those are just a few
of our high-end brands.

71
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:34,187
We also have "Call of Booty,"
"Raggedy Anorexic,"

72
00:04:34,212 --> 00:04:37,193
"The Edge of 13," and, for boys,
"Jack the Stripper."

73
00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:38,631
Oh, for crying out loud.

74
00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:42,109
Okay, that's it. I've heard
enough and three past that.

75
00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:45,148
My daughter is still
a sweet little girl.

76
00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:48,413
What the? Oh, come on!

77
00:04:49,263 --> 00:04:53,165
My daughter's not a sex object.
She's a respect object.

78
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,370
Innocent girls.

79
00:05:00,732 --> 00:05:02,445
Knee socks.

80
00:05:04,619 --> 00:05:06,445
Grow up too fast.

81
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:13,205
I will see you all in court.

82
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,690
Hmm? Mm.

83
00:05:17,725 --> 00:05:20,584
Dad, I'm seeing you through new eyes.

84
00:05:20,609 --> 00:05:22,616
You've become the hero of my book.

85
00:05:22,641 --> 00:05:24,307
The guy who kills the mockingbird?

86
00:05:24,332 --> 00:05:25,631
No one kills a mockingbird.

87
00:05:25,666 --> 00:05:27,366
Whoa, whoa, whoa, spoiler alert.

88
00:05:27,401 --> 00:05:28,810
You're like Atticus Finch,

89
00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:32,504
a modest, heroic man
who stands up for what's right.

90
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,250
Uh, yeah, sure.

91
00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:37,376
And I love the way
you just made me feel safer.

92
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,478
She respects me.

93
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,702
This is even better
than the time the Milk Duds

94
00:05:41,727 --> 00:05:45,217
in the vending machine knocked
down a 3 Musketeers bar, too.

95
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,487
Woo-hoo! Man beats machine!

96
00:05:48,818 --> 00:05:49,984
Oh!

97
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:54,390
Well, I think that's all the reading
for tonight, honey. It's getting late.

98
00:05:54,415 --> 00:05:56,085
What time is it?

99
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,555
8:30.

100
00:05:58,266 --> 00:05:59,601
May I see your watch?

101
00:06:07,608 --> 00:06:10,454
"To Atticus, My Beloved Husband."

102
00:06:11,485 --> 00:06:15,016
Oh, black and white? The TV's broken.

103
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,351
Hey, we were watching that.

104
00:06:19,387 --> 00:06:22,038
Why, look, it's Bart Simpson

105
00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:24,657
in his short pants on the davenport.

106
00:06:24,692 --> 00:06:26,181
Are you nuts?

107
00:06:26,206 --> 00:06:28,206
Homer is my hero.

108
00:06:28,231 --> 00:06:29,946
Say it in American.

109
00:06:29,971 --> 00:06:31,171
He stood up for me.

110
00:06:31,196 --> 00:06:33,029
It was magnificent.

111
00:06:33,081 --> 00:06:37,156
- I wish my dad was a hero.
- Wish granted, son!

112
00:06:37,181 --> 00:06:38,282
Now let's move it.

113
00:06:38,307 --> 00:06:42,174
If I hand out 5,000 flyers,
I get all the turkey shreds

114
00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:44,220
I can dig out of the slicer trap.

115
00:06:44,245 --> 00:06:46,938
And dig I will.

116
00:06:47,415 --> 00:06:49,102
Well, I don't care if Dad's your hero.

117
00:06:49,127 --> 00:06:52,165
You know whose hero I am?
Maggie's. Come here, girl.

118
00:06:55,344 --> 00:06:58,470
Okay, the dog's your hero,
but I'm your human hero.

119
00:06:59,071 --> 00:07:00,126
Fine.

120
00:07:00,151 --> 00:07:01,835
But I'm your living human hero.

121
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:04,688
Are you saying I'm dead?
Put up your dukes.

122
00:07:05,032 --> 00:07:06,696
Now put up my dukes.

123
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:10,618
Now take down your dukes.

124
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,333
I'm the greatest!

125
00:07:13,806 --> 00:07:16,681
Oh... someone put down my dukes.

126
00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:34,241
I'd always liked my dad,

127
00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:36,735
but this was something new
and wonderful.

128
00:07:36,755 --> 00:07:38,391
I admired him.

129
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,610
The way he'd take me to
the science museum once a year.

130
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:44,596
D'oh!

131
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:47,498
D'oh!

132
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:54,346
And now we get ice cream.

133
00:07:55,304 --> 00:07:57,104
- Hmm.
- Mmm.

134
00:07:57,129 --> 00:07:59,429
Oh, sweetie, it's starting to melt.

135
00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:02,098
Daddy will give you a little help.

136
00:08:02,134 --> 00:08:03,821
A little more help.

137
00:08:04,338 --> 00:08:06,515
A little more. A little more.

138
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:09,878
Oops. Oh, Daddy ate yours.
You can have mine.

139
00:08:09,925 --> 00:08:11,474
- Thank you.
- Now let Daddy...

140
00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:13,232
I got it.

141
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:18,640
And he inspired me in school.

142
00:08:18,676 --> 00:08:20,227
The second grade was grim,

143
00:08:20,252 --> 00:08:22,577
but Jem assured me that the older I get,

144
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,187
the better school would be.

145
00:08:24,222 --> 00:08:27,123
Who says my class is grim? Who's Jem?

146
00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,632
What are you talking about?

147
00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:30,260
That's from To Kill a Mockingbird.

148
00:08:30,285 --> 00:08:33,286
Page 67. The book
you assigned us to read.

149
00:08:33,548 --> 00:08:36,329
I assigned you to read
the Wikipedia article.

150
00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,470
But my brother was not so happy.

151
00:08:43,032 --> 00:08:45,211
Mom, why can't we be like that?

152
00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:49,179
Well...

153
00:08:53,251 --> 00:08:54,583
I taste blue.

154
00:08:54,725 --> 00:08:56,610
Yeah, okay.

155
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:02,928
I tell you, guys,
having a kid that likes you

156
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:04,796
is the greatest feeling in the world.

157
00:09:04,821 --> 00:09:06,757
I never got along with my old man.

158
00:09:06,782 --> 00:09:08,468
He was always disappointed
I didn't follow him

159
00:09:08,493 --> 00:09:10,066
in the family business.

160
00:09:10,102 --> 00:09:12,531
- What did he do?
- He was editor of Life magazine.

161
00:09:12,556 --> 00:09:15,632
- I thought that was defunct.
- Eh, he keeps saying a real son

162
00:09:15,657 --> 00:09:17,140
would've bought it out of bankruptcy

163
00:09:17,175 --> 00:09:19,075
and launched it as a digital platform.

164
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,034
Well, angel funders
want too much equity.

165
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,798
Sorry, Dad.

166
00:09:25,368 --> 00:09:28,195
Yeah, my dad left
when I was most vulnerable,

167
00:09:28,352 --> 00:09:32,056
the day after Mom left.
That was a tough week there.

168
00:09:36,548 --> 00:09:39,239
Not a good time to film a commercial.

169
00:09:39,264 --> 00:09:41,131
Don't worry, we'll take these cameras

170
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:44,067
and we'll make a Netflix documentary.

171
00:09:44,102 --> 00:09:47,016
They will buy anything!

172
00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:08,765
For dessert, I made blackberry pie.

173
00:10:09,423 --> 00:10:11,749
Oh, I made Dad a blueberry pie.

174
00:10:11,774 --> 00:10:14,538
Oh, what to do, what to do?

175
00:10:14,563 --> 00:10:18,334
In the words of King Solomon,
I shall eat two pies.

176
00:10:18,541 --> 00:10:20,882
I don't think King Solomon said that.

177
00:10:20,907 --> 00:10:23,072
Maybe it was a king salmon.

178
00:10:23,108 --> 00:10:26,415
The point is, pies are good.

179
00:10:28,605 --> 00:10:31,773
Homer, I think Bart could use
a little attention.

180
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,734
Give attention to Lisa,
give attention to Bart.

181
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,759
What am I, made of attention?

182
00:10:42,415 --> 00:10:44,781
Okay, because of budget cutbacks,
you got 45 seconds each.

183
00:10:44,806 --> 00:10:46,640
40 after the explanation. You, get in!

184
00:10:46,665 --> 00:10:48,198
What you're experiencing is a phenomenon

185
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:49,465
known as transference,
where you project your feelings

186
00:10:49,501 --> 00:10:51,201
towards your mother
onto your art teacher.

187
00:10:51,236 --> 00:10:53,236
Anytime you find yourself
wanting to hug Mrs. Hakamuchi,

188
00:10:53,271 --> 00:10:55,371
- snap this rubber band on your wrist.
- Ow.

189
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:56,868
Next!

190
00:10:59,311 --> 00:11:00,376
What are you waiting for?
I'm here for an hour,

191
00:11:00,412 --> 00:11:01,411
then I'm off to 14 other schools.

192
00:11:01,446 --> 00:11:03,179
I eat lunch in my car
'cause they won't let me

193
00:11:03,215 --> 00:11:04,414
counsel kids with food in my mouth.

194
00:11:04,449 --> 00:11:06,349
Well, I always thought
my dad was a big fat loser

195
00:11:06,384 --> 00:11:08,428
until he started giving
attention to my lame-o sister.

196
00:11:08,453 --> 00:11:10,220
So why do I want his attention now?

197
00:11:10,388 --> 00:11:11,421
Why does this hurt?

198
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:13,843
Family members are locked into roles.
Change that, and what do you get?

199
00:11:13,868 --> 00:11:16,092
Resentment and acting out.
Acting out can take many forms,

200
00:11:16,127 --> 00:11:17,160
from pouting to armed robbery.

201
00:11:17,187 --> 00:11:18,710
- Time's almost up.
- So, what do I do?

202
00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:19,609
You have no choice.

203
00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:21,423
Act out until somebody
pays attention to you.

204
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,692
Next!

205
00:11:23,178 --> 00:11:25,178
Okay, couples therapy.
You got 90 seconds.

206
00:11:25,203 --> 00:11:27,673
I'm the oldest, and she won't admit it.

207
00:11:30,442 --> 00:11:32,208
Milhouse, I'm about to act out.

208
00:11:32,244 --> 00:11:35,399
After we leave an envelope
full of guilt.

209
00:11:35,563 --> 00:11:37,656
Also, we're stopping by the photo booth

210
00:11:37,681 --> 00:11:40,183
- and the perfume room.
- Enough.

211
00:11:49,618 --> 00:11:51,984
Come on, sweetie, pick up the pace.

212
00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:54,197
The sushi's been sitting out
for an hour.

213
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,749
When Willie turned 13, it was
time to work in the mines.

214
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,391
It's go time.

215
00:12:01,506 --> 00:12:04,207
Help. My friend's having
an asthma attack.

216
00:12:04,242 --> 00:12:07,777
Not yet, Bart. This is a real one.

217
00:12:08,345 --> 00:12:09,930
Even better.

218
00:12:11,743 --> 00:12:14,127
Please, we've got to get him
to the hospital.

219
00:12:14,152 --> 00:12:17,204
Wow. I'm gonna meet a nurse.

220
00:12:25,534 --> 00:12:29,422
And now we're gonna party
like it's 5799.

221
00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:30,913
Wait, wait, wait.

222
00:12:30,938 --> 00:12:33,782
Before you leave, I am going to talk.

223
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:38,107
And I'm going to tell you
a very long joke.

224
00:12:38,143 --> 00:12:39,409
Please stand.

225
00:12:40,962 --> 00:12:44,859
So, an old rabbi was
confronted with squirrels

226
00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,249
in the attic.

227
00:12:46,284 --> 00:12:49,085
Get to the punch line
or your son flunks geometry.

228
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,219
He gave the squirrels a bar mitzvah

229
00:12:50,255 --> 00:12:51,420
and never saw them in temple again.

230
00:12:51,445 --> 00:12:52,511
Amen.

231
00:12:57,262 --> 00:12:59,195
I don't drive a minivan.

232
00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:02,452
Do I look like a suburban
soccer mom from Phoenix?

233
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,827
Well, sometimes, when you're tired.

234
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,658
- Shut up!
- I should be first.

235
00:13:06,683 --> 00:13:07,648
I own a Tesla.

236
00:13:07,673 --> 00:13:09,164
Those are my keys.

237
00:13:09,207 --> 00:13:11,665
Prepare for the boning of your life.

238
00:13:16,608 --> 00:13:20,177
To repeat, I own a Tesla,
and I'm going to use "summon."

239
00:13:24,829 --> 00:13:28,622
Who is responsible
for this meshugana behavior?

240
00:13:28,647 --> 00:13:30,462
He did it.

241
00:13:48,071 --> 00:13:49,137
Oh...

242
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:52,672
Hey, Mr. Cunningham.

243
00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:55,084
I said hey, Mr. Cunningham.

244
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,577
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it.

245
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,521
They know I did it. Protect me, Dad.

246
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,845
Don't you remember me, Mr. Cunningham?

247
00:14:01,844 --> 00:14:03,571
I'm Jean Louise Finch.

248
00:14:11,298 --> 00:14:12,491
Where's your boy?

249
00:14:12,516 --> 00:14:14,343
What's your hurry, friend?

250
00:14:14,368 --> 00:14:17,702
Now, Homer, don't you try to disarm us

251
00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:21,734
with your genteel mannerisms
of a bygone era there.

252
00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:27,225
Why, I haven't a notion as to what
you are importuning, good sir.

253
00:14:36,856 --> 00:14:37,922
_

254
00:14:39,742 --> 00:14:41,484
Excuse me, Mr. Szyslak.

255
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,210
Mr. Szyslak, we know you.

256
00:14:44,235 --> 00:14:47,103
My father likes to drink at your bar.

257
00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:49,364
You can't say hi to me?

258
00:14:51,176 --> 00:14:53,176
And how 'bout you, Chief Wiggum?

259
00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:55,585
I go to school with your boy, Ralph.

260
00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:58,796
Give my regards to Ralph,
would you, please?

261
00:14:58,821 --> 00:15:01,281
All right, let's go, people.
They've defused us.

262
00:15:01,306 --> 00:15:03,907
Everyone get, uh,
get one last mutter in.

263
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:10,827
Oh, Lisa, sweetie, you saved me.

264
00:15:10,852 --> 00:15:13,351
No, Dad, you saved us all

265
00:15:13,376 --> 00:15:15,445
with your calmness and bravery.

266
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:18,034
- Thanks. Just one thing.
- Yes, Dad?

267
00:15:18,235 --> 00:15:19,773
Don't tell your mother about the mob

268
00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:21,370
that almost killed your brother.

269
00:15:21,395 --> 00:15:22,761
She's taken a liking to him.

270
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,150
The what?

271
00:15:24,175 --> 00:15:26,749
You're hearing things
in the shower again, Marge.

272
00:15:26,774 --> 00:15:28,516
Oh, okay.

273
00:15:30,565 --> 00:15:31,828
Sorry.

274
00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:41,020
Okay, Maggie, you give me your binky,

275
00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:45,625
and I'll give you this
substitution bear doll.

276
00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:50,749
You can't beat addiction, Marge.

277
00:15:50,774 --> 00:15:53,297
I got addicted to Agatha Christie books.

278
00:15:53,332 --> 00:15:56,952
I always thought the murderer
was that know-it-all Belgian.

279
00:15:56,977 --> 00:15:59,436
Turns out, he was the detective.

280
00:15:59,596 --> 00:16:02,630
41 books, and I never saw it coming.

281
00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:07,311
- What happened?
- Got in a fight.

282
00:16:07,346 --> 00:16:09,346
Why? What did the other kid do?

283
00:16:09,382 --> 00:16:11,734
Said Dad was lazy and incompetent.

284
00:16:11,759 --> 00:16:13,450
And where is this other kid?

285
00:16:13,475 --> 00:16:14,412
Yo.

286
00:16:14,437 --> 00:16:16,601
You got in a fight with your brother?

287
00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:18,656
I won a fight with my brother.

288
00:16:18,681 --> 00:16:20,165
- Liar.
- Let's go again.

289
00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:21,489
Stop her, Mom.

290
00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:26,263
To combat bed-wetting, doctors recommend

291
00:16:26,299 --> 00:16:27,498
shifting times for drinking,
scheduling bathroom breaks,

292
00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:29,600
and being encouraging.
I'll deny having said this,

293
00:16:29,635 --> 00:16:31,402
but the next time you wet
your bed, have 'em spank you.

294
00:16:31,437 --> 00:16:32,618
Next.

295
00:16:34,329 --> 00:16:35,671
Wait, you're not a kid. Doesn't matter.

296
00:16:35,696 --> 00:16:36,890
You've got 45 seconds. Go.

297
00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:39,443
I'm worried that my daughter
is ruining her family

298
00:16:39,478 --> 00:16:41,478
idolizing her father.

299
00:16:41,514 --> 00:16:43,447
I see. Wow. Marge, it's totally normal

300
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:45,382
for a little girl to be
infatuated with her father.

301
00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:46,650
It's safe and comes from a good place,

302
00:16:46,686 --> 00:16:48,552
and when it ends, it's another
thing she'll blame you for.

303
00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:51,455
Yes, well, I'm afraid
my husband isn't always

304
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:53,657
a perfect influence.

305
00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:56,657
Marge, I've got a legal matter
to deal with.

306
00:16:57,566 --> 00:16:58,899
I'll be outside.

307
00:17:00,891 --> 00:17:03,634
Also, I'm worried that my son
is feeling neglected.

308
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:05,531
Your husband has to give your
daughter the perfect speech,

309
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:07,404
which lets her down
but doesn't snap her in two.

310
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,079
And make sure you don't
have any more kids.

311
00:17:09,104 --> 00:17:11,048
Sounds like it'll be a disaster.

312
00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:14,062
Whoa, nice to meet you.
See you in three years.

313
00:17:14,087 --> 00:17:15,345
Now, good-bye.

314
00:17:19,043 --> 00:17:21,429
- Homer?
- Huh? What?

315
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:24,452
Homer, it's sweet that
Lisa idolizes you,

316
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,357
but I think it's gone too far.

317
00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:27,624
You're right.

318
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,259
Tell her she's right.

319
00:17:29,295 --> 00:17:30,361
I just did.

320
00:17:30,386 --> 00:17:32,353
I'm on a five-second delay.

321
00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:34,734
The kids are at each other's throats.

322
00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:37,915
Look, you can't be my dog
and hers; pick a side.

323
00:17:40,023 --> 00:17:41,823
You can't hide in there forever.

324
00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:46,820
Okay, I'll talk to Bart,
you talk to Lisa.

325
00:17:46,845 --> 00:17:49,213
We've got to put this family
back in place.

326
00:17:49,248 --> 00:17:51,448
Okay. Why do you always tell me

327
00:17:51,484 --> 00:17:54,773
the most important things just
when I'm about to fall asleep?

328
00:17:54,798 --> 00:17:58,601
Because I think the pillow talk
between a woman and her husband

329
00:17:58,626 --> 00:18:00,145
is the most important...

330
00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:04,012
What? How did I wind up in church?

331
00:18:07,025 --> 00:18:08,353
What's wrong, sweetie?

332
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,578
I've got that terrible feeling
where I'm almost

333
00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:12,369
at the end of a great book,

334
00:18:12,405 --> 00:18:15,406
and once I finish, it's over forever.

335
00:18:15,474 --> 00:18:18,275
Well, that's kind of what
I wanted to talk to you about.

336
00:18:18,354 --> 00:18:21,422
You and I have had a lot of fun
these past few weeks,

337
00:18:21,447 --> 00:18:23,447
but you aren't always gonna
look up to your dad

338
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:25,090
as much as you do now.

339
00:18:25,115 --> 00:18:26,004
Bup, bup, bup.

340
00:18:26,029 --> 00:18:29,839
Great man, there is nothing you
could do to make me lose one iota

341
00:18:29,864 --> 00:18:31,192
of respect for you.

342
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:38,406
When I was a kid,
I wanted to be that guy,

343
00:18:38,431 --> 00:18:40,823
but now I can't fit behind a door.

344
00:18:40,848 --> 00:18:43,644
You'll discover I'm not
the perfect man you think.

345
00:18:43,929 --> 00:18:45,862
Okay, I'll finish my book.

346
00:18:45,887 --> 00:18:48,439
But always remember you're my dad,

347
00:18:48,474 --> 00:18:51,475
and I'll never forget the way you and...

348
00:18:53,756 --> 00:18:54,821
Damn it.

349
00:18:56,697 --> 00:18:58,457
I'm home!

350
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,197
She's moved on,

351
00:19:03,222 --> 00:19:05,542
which, let's face it,
is the way things should be.

352
00:19:05,737 --> 00:19:07,628
Kids grow up, daddies die,

353
00:19:07,653 --> 00:19:09,801
and then the wind whispers, "Why?"

354
00:19:12,231 --> 00:19:14,298
Oh, I don't know. I've been hurt before.

355
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:17,134
I don't want to mess you up
by getting close to you.

356
00:19:17,196 --> 00:19:19,426
_

357
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,121
_

358
00:19:21,146 --> 00:19:23,090
_

359
00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:24,739
_

360
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,363
Aw.

361
00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:28,065
_

362
00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:29,552
No problem.

363
00:19:30,144 --> 00:19:32,004
Marge, get in here.

364
00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:36,893
Okay Bart, because we treasure you too,

365
00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:40,278
I'm gonna let you do one thing
just for yourself.

366
00:19:40,303 --> 00:19:41,610
Kick Homer in the butt?

367
00:19:41,635 --> 00:19:44,278
Uh, why don't you give it some thought.

368
00:19:44,815 --> 00:19:47,616
Kick Lisa in the butt.
Have a birthday party every day?

369
00:19:47,641 --> 00:19:49,574
Never brush my teeth again.

370
00:19:49,599 --> 00:19:51,332
Be homeschooled by the dog.

371
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,754
Drive a tank through Skinner's house.

372
00:19:52,779 --> 00:19:54,679
Open a casino in the basement.

373
00:19:54,704 --> 00:19:56,271
Have an affair?

374
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:59,200
- You haven't decided yet?
- Don't rush me.

375
00:19:59,225 --> 00:20:01,597
Convert my Roth IRA to a 401K?

376
00:20:01,622 --> 00:20:02,731
Have an affair?

377
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:03,832
Take a mulligan?

378
00:20:03,857 --> 00:20:05,524
Okay, I've decided.

379
00:20:05,592 --> 00:20:07,364
I'll kick Homer in the butt.

380
00:20:08,223 --> 00:20:12,207
You can kick it if you can find it.

381
00:20:12,232 --> 00:20:13,398
D'oh.

382
00:20:13,423 --> 00:20:19,581
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