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Today is the start of a
brand-new corporate initiative:

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"Going the Extra Smay-zle!"

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- A couple questions.
- Mm-hmm.

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What is a smayzle,
how do you go the extra one,

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and what if you probably weren't going

6
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the standard amount
of smayzles to begin with?

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I... well, Dina?

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00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:24,179
Uh, I think it's supposed
to be "Going the Extra Smile,"

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'cause that rhymes with "mile"

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- and we have "aisles."
- One interpretation.

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Basically they just want
everyone to start

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making small talk with the customers.

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Oh, come on. It'll be fun!

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You just put on your best
Cloud 9 smile...

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And then talk about whatever.

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You know, ask them about their purchases

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or ask about their Thanksgiving plans.

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Oh, you can talk about your pets.

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Does that include exotic pets?

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Oh, Sandra, for the last time.

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There's nothing exotic
about a cat with dementia.

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The point is,

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human connection is what sets
us apart from online retailers.

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That's our secret weapon.

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Oh, so this is how corporate
plans on taking down Amazon?

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By having Sandra
talk about her dying cat?

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He has plenty of time.

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credits

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Ugh. I hate making
small talk with old people.

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It's always a two-hour fiasco
about their children

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or what race they're worried
about getting robbed by.

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It's so weird how they always
have the most time to talk,

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and yet, the least time to live.

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Mm.

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- Rock-paper-scissors?
- Yeah.

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Boom! Have fun.

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Fine.

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- Hi.
- Hi.

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This lady is going to be
helping you out today.

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- Okay, thank you.
- Oh, thank you.

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- Hello.
- Hi.

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How are you doing today?

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- Oh, I'm great.
- Good.

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We're in town visiting our son.

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- He's in medical school.
- That's lovely.

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You wouldn't believe
some of his stories.

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I'm just going to give you the top ten.

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Ah, that is a fantastic drill
you're looking at.

49
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:05,041
Yeah. What's the difference
between this one and the F590?

50
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Uh, you know, well,

51
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they... they both have
their pros and cons.

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You know, this one is red,

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so that's a plus...

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if you like red.

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It also drills, like, super deep holes.

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Uh, or... or less deep, you know,

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if you just don't push
it in all the way.

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Hello there.

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I just wanted to say
thank you for supporting

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local retail instead of shopping online.

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To be honest, I probably
would've bought this on Amazon,

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- but I needed it today.
- Ah.

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Oh, you know they have
same-day delivery, right?

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Okay, nobody asked you.

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Don't you have to pay for Prime?

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- Ah!
- Oh, it's totally worth it.

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You get free shipping
plus movies, music.

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We... we've got music.

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Go check out our CD selection.

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It's all on clearance.

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Wait, what are you doing?
Don't... don't put it back.

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No, I don't want it anymore.

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Well, too late.
You touched it, you bought it.

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Yup, yup. It's pretty comfortable.

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But is it supportive?

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He's on his feet
all day at the hospital.

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Did I mention he's in medical school?

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Mm-hmm, you did. Quite a few times.

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Uh, my hand just touched your leg,

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but didn't mean anything.

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I know.

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You know, my cousin
deep-fried a turkey last year,

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but he didn't thaw it completely.

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Huge explosion.

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Bunch of his face just melted clean off.

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He's had to have a ton of surgeries.

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We keep telling him he looks
good as new, but

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really, he kind of looks like one of
those baseball mitts from the 1920s.

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Anyway, be safe. Gobble-gobble.

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Is that your idea
of going the extra smile?

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Talking about your cousin with no lips?

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Uh, he has lips.

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They used them to reshape his eyebrows.

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You know, forget it.

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This is a stupid initiative anyway.

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Hey, I'm there with you.

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I do not like small talk,

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and I hate smiling
all day like an idiot.

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Yeah, well it's harder
for you with that weak face.

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"Weak face"? How is my face weak?

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I don't know, it's just not strong.

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- It's as strong as yours.
- Oh, please.

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I have complete musculofascial control.

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When I was seven,
I corrected my own lazy eye.

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I could out-smile you any day.

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Okay, whatever.

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- Do you want to make a bet?
- No.

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Yeah, that would be stupid anyway.

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I mean, how would we even test it?

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See who could smile the longest,

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but I don't see how we'd enforce that.

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It'd have to be the honor system.

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Yeah, the honor system would work, but

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why would we even do it?
What're we doing it for?

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- Uh, a nice bottle of Scotch?
- I like Scotch.

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So do I.

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I guess we're doing this?

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- I guess so.
- On three.

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One, two, three.

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God, you have a creepy smile.

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So this one, if I'm
remembering correctly,

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has a metal half-ratcheting chuck

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for superior bit-gripping strength.

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Yeah... oh, there it is, right there.

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I was right.

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One question is...

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Are these backwards compatible

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with the older generation
18-volt batteries?

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- 'Cause I'm installing a...
- Guess how he scored on his...

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- Oh, God.
- An AC unit in my shed,

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and when it comes down to...
I don't know. 1,600?

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Oh, okay. Oh, God.

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1,600?

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Scores only go to 528. That's it.

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- Jonah?
- Hey, guys.

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What are you doing here?

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Oh, how do you know...

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This is who we're visiting.

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It's our son who's in medical school.

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No... no, no. This is...

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Hi! Hi, I'm Jonah.

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It's nice to meet you.

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Oh.

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_

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So, uh, just to clarify,
this is your son?

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- Right.
- Mm-hmm.

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Oh.

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And... and how long have you
been in medical school?

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I'm a third year.

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Wow. Three years.

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That's... wow.

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Listen, do you carry men's briefs?

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We need a men's small or a boys' husky.

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Okay, you know what?
I think we can probably

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just find it on our own, so thank you

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so much for all of your help,

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uh, kind madam.

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Okay, uh... thank you.

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Children's underwear in aisle 12.

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Hi, I need to return this.

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It was a... anniversary present
for my wife,

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but... I don't need it anymore.

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Oh, you know what?

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We don't take back
engraved jewelry. Sorry.

165
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Is there anything you can do?
It was really expensive,

166
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and now I've got to pay for a divorce

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and I don't have a job anymore

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because her new boyfriend
is my now-ex-boss.

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Yikes, that's rough.

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It's not funny. I'm going through hell.

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My life is literally hell.

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Hey, man, I don't think it's funny,

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I'm just in this contest...

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Yeah, screw you!

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Um...

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I don't need this dog collar anymore.

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Did he... grow out of it?

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Mm-mm.

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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

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Oh, Dr. Simms.
Where are Richard and Marilyn?

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Uh, I told them I needed
a new 13-pin phone charger,

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so that should confuse
them for a little bit.

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Uh, look, I know this may all
seem a little weird...

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Insane. Cuckoo Bananas.

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Okay, uh, long story short:

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I dropped out of business school,

187
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my parents kept asking me
what my plan was,

188
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and I didn't want to tell them
I was working at Cloud 9...

189
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that's not a judgment on working here.

190
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It's just my parents have
really high expectations.

191
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That's so weird.
It was my parent's dream

192
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that I would stock shelves
for a living one day.

193
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Anyway, I told them that I was thinking

194
00:07:08,865 --> 00:07:12,740
about going to medical school,
which I was... kind of,

195
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,480
and then one thing led to another

196
00:07:14,505 --> 00:07:16,972
and now I'm doing
my rotation in hematology.

197
00:07:17,058 --> 00:07:18,991
And what is hematology?

198
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I think it's...
uh, it's the study of blood...

199
00:07:21,118 --> 00:07:24,263
or not... mm, not blood itself,
but, like, the vessels or...

200
00:07:24,288 --> 00:07:25,783
I don't know. I have to Google it again.

201
00:07:25,784 --> 00:07:27,827
Got it. So they're in electronics?

202
00:07:27,852 --> 00:07:28,972
Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, wait, wait.

203
00:07:28,973 --> 00:07:31,003
You're... you're not going
to say anything, are you?

204
00:07:31,072 --> 00:07:32,538
Oh, come on. Give me some credit.

205
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I'm not going to out you
to your parents.

206
00:07:34,191 --> 00:07:35,847
- Okay.
- But I do think

207
00:07:35,848 --> 00:07:37,870
it would be highly irresponsible
to let them leave

208
00:07:37,895 --> 00:07:39,845
without getting more
embarrassing childhood stories.

209
00:07:39,870 --> 00:07:41,589
Ideally, they have photos.

210
00:07:41,634 --> 00:07:43,749
No, no, that's... you don't need to...

211
00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:46,431
Hello there. How's your day going?

212
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:47,920
Fine.

213
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,283
Wow, you've got quite
the full cart, huh?

214
00:07:50,308 --> 00:07:54,147
You got a shovel, a tarp,
and some duct tape and...

215
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,922
kitchen knives and garbage bags...

216
00:07:58,852 --> 00:08:00,073
and a saw?

217
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,247
Whoo. Big Thanksgiving plans?

218
00:08:05,272 --> 00:08:07,640
Just a small dinner with my mom.

219
00:08:07,665 --> 00:08:09,614
We have a lot of catching up to do.

220
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,205
Where do you keep your bleach?

221
00:08:13,061 --> 00:08:15,661
I think we're actually out of bleach.

222
00:08:16,506 --> 00:08:18,090
It's fine. I'll get it online.

223
00:08:18,318 --> 00:08:19,252
No!

224
00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:22,986
Wait, we... we have bleach.
It's aisle nine.

225
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,740
You've been very helpful.

226
00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:26,120
Thank you.

227
00:08:29,246 --> 00:08:32,481
His older brothers convinced
him it was a nude pool.

228
00:08:32,571 --> 00:08:36,280
And so everyone at the Radisson
saw his tiny little tush.

229
00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:37,390
His tiny tush?

230
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:40,039
Okay, well, everybody's tush
was tiny at that age, so...

231
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,485
He was so embarrassed that he
tried to hide under the water

232
00:08:42,510 --> 00:08:45,459
until everyone left, and he...
He almost drowned.

233
00:08:45,553 --> 00:08:47,701
Jonah was always almost drowning.

234
00:08:47,702 --> 00:08:49,299
- True.
- It was a cry for attention.

235
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,717
Okay guys, I don't think
the nice sales lady

236
00:08:51,786 --> 00:08:53,074
needs to hear all of this.

237
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,366
You know, actually, the more
I know about your life,

238
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,773
the more able I am
to direct you to items

239
00:08:57,858 --> 00:08:59,586
that would assist
you in your living space.

240
00:08:59,587 --> 00:09:01,182
I don't see how that's helpful.

241
00:09:01,183 --> 00:09:03,590
Well, you've never worked retail, so...

242
00:09:03,591 --> 00:09:05,494
Well, he's in medical school.

243
00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:06,765
- He is.
- Mm-hmm.

244
00:09:06,766 --> 00:09:09,291
So, tell me about extracurriculars.

245
00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:11,481
I'm thinking
captain of the football team?

246
00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:13,238
Not exactly.

247
00:09:13,307 --> 00:09:14,687
Just the opposite.

248
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,483
Really? I would have never guessed that.

249
00:09:19,194 --> 00:09:21,194
Excuse me, do you know
anything about drills?

250
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,369
Oh, God, no. Ew.

251
00:09:27,428 --> 00:09:28,318
Um, Dina?

252
00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:30,666
You know how you always tell us

253
00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:32,815
not to leave the Sudafed case open,

254
00:09:32,816 --> 00:09:34,421
especially when teens are around,

255
00:09:34,422 --> 00:09:36,345
'cause one of them might distract you

256
00:09:36,346 --> 00:09:38,674
with skateboard tricks
and all of their friends

257
00:09:38,699 --> 00:09:40,661
will come and steal all the Sudafed?

258
00:09:41,695 --> 00:09:42,928
Well, that happened.

259
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,879
What? Are you serious?

260
00:09:45,756 --> 00:09:47,726
Guess it is kind of funny.

261
00:09:47,742 --> 00:09:49,965
I was so scared that you'd be mad at me.

262
00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,825
No, I am mad. You're an idiot.

263
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:54,317
"You're an idiot! I'm so angry!"

264
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,685
I love our jokey "I hate you",

265
00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:00,852
"but I really love you" back-and-forth.

266
00:10:00,853 --> 00:10:04,046
No, this is not a joke.
I really, really hate you.

267
00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:05,933
I "hate" you too.

268
00:10:07,801 --> 00:10:08,908
He would brush the hair

269
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,676
of these strange horse figurines

270
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,968
hour after hour, and then
when we'd take them away,

271
00:10:12,969 --> 00:10:13,994
he'd start crying.

272
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:15,416
- Oh.
- He was always crying.

273
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:19,905
Hey! I am so glad to see that
you're engaging with customers,

274
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:22,408
but I need you to go
empty the rat traps.

275
00:10:22,409 --> 00:10:24,990
- They're overflowing with...
- Okay, I will get on it.

276
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,608
- No, I was talking...
- No, Glenn, I want to do it.

277
00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:29,127
- Why?
- Because...

278
00:10:30,143 --> 00:10:31,140
I love it.

279
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:34,835
Okay. Knock yourself out.

280
00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:37,675
Um, if she's doing the rats,

281
00:10:37,676 --> 00:10:40,037
then I need you to go clean
the men's washroom.

282
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:43,445
Someone did not make it to the
toilet in an explosive way.

283
00:10:43,998 --> 00:10:45,397
Excuse me, why are you telling him

284
00:10:45,466 --> 00:10:46,634
that he should clean the bathroom?

285
00:10:46,635 --> 00:10:48,567
Because I'm the one who did it,

286
00:10:48,636 --> 00:10:50,836
uh, and you caught me red-handed,

287
00:10:50,921 --> 00:10:53,472
so I'm gonna go ahead
and take care of that

288
00:10:53,524 --> 00:10:55,297
and see you guys at home.

289
00:10:55,298 --> 00:10:59,407
- Wait, do you know each other?
- We're his parents.

290
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,368
Oh... oh, my!

291
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,183
Oh, it's... It's so nice to meet you.

292
00:11:04,268 --> 00:11:06,518
We have a lot of employees
go through this store...

293
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:07,139
Glenn!

294
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,448
But it has been such a pleasure...

295
00:11:08,449 --> 00:11:10,325
Oh!

296
00:11:10,326 --> 00:11:11,680
Ow!

297
00:11:12,336 --> 00:11:13,437
Why?

298
00:11:24,493 --> 00:11:25,308
I'm sorry.

299
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,037
You were about to give away his secret,

300
00:11:27,079 --> 00:11:28,662
and I didn't know how else to stop you.

301
00:11:28,714 --> 00:11:31,559
So you pegged me in the face with a yam?

302
00:11:31,584 --> 00:11:32,976
Why didn't you just shout, "Hey Glenn",

303
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:34,805
I really need to talk to you?"

304
00:11:35,054 --> 00:11:36,503
'Cause that wouldn't have worked.

305
00:11:37,443 --> 00:11:38,370
Oh, yeah.

306
00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:40,944
Hey, so, uh, let me explain.

307
00:11:40,969 --> 00:11:43,713
- I already told him.
- Yeah, I don't get it though.

308
00:11:43,714 --> 00:11:46,820
Why are you lying to your
parents about working here?

309
00:11:46,849 --> 00:11:49,094
I just... I didn't want
to disappoint them.

310
00:11:49,634 --> 00:11:51,556
Why would your parents be disappointed

311
00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:53,216
about you working at Cloud 9?

312
00:11:53,217 --> 00:11:54,957
No I... Th-they, they, they, well...

313
00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:58,775
Because they're crazy people.
Their expectations are insane.

314
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:00,310
- Yeah.
- They wouldn't have been happy

315
00:12:00,362 --> 00:12:01,611
unless he was president.

316
00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:04,314
- Yeah.
- That's ridiculous.

317
00:12:04,366 --> 00:12:05,746
You're too short to be president.

318
00:12:05,747 --> 00:12:07,899
Even Jimmy Carter was 5'10".

319
00:12:08,487 --> 00:12:09,748
It's a good point.

320
00:12:09,749 --> 00:12:11,654
Glenn, do you mind if I clock out early

321
00:12:11,707 --> 00:12:13,323
so I can leave with them?

322
00:12:14,087 --> 00:12:16,246
- Sure, I guess.
- Thank you so much.

323
00:12:17,035 --> 00:12:18,959
And why did you throw it at my face?

324
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,816
Why didn't you just throw
it at my legs or my chest?

325
00:12:22,578 --> 00:12:25,572
Because it had to be the face.

326
00:12:26,393 --> 00:12:27,526
Yeah, I know.

327
00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:31,409
It's too bad, 'cause that really hurt.

328
00:12:32,526 --> 00:12:38,901
_

329
00:12:38,971 --> 00:12:42,165
So you've just been lying to
your parents for three years?

330
00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:44,397
You're a psycho.
You're, like, psychotic.

331
00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:45,674
It's like...

332
00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,546
- Psycho much?
- He's not a psycho.

333
00:12:48,548 --> 00:12:50,828
He's just a wuss who's
still afraid of his parents.

334
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:52,562
What are they going to do, take
you off their cell phone plan?

335
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:53,542
I'm not on their plan.

336
00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:55,119
We're on a shared family plan,

337
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,081
which actually saves them money.

338
00:12:57,092 --> 00:12:59,586
And you guys are telling me none of
you have ever lied to your parents?

339
00:12:59,587 --> 00:13:01,143
I once stole money from my mom,

340
00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:03,623
and then I broke a window
and flushed her jewelry

341
00:13:03,708 --> 00:13:05,375
down the toilet to make it
look like a robbery.

342
00:13:05,427 --> 00:13:06,267
- Hmm.
- I used to tell my parents

343
00:13:06,268 --> 00:13:08,081
I was meeting friends at Imo's Pizza,

344
00:13:08,082 --> 00:13:11,346
but really, I was eating
alone at Imo's Pizza.

345
00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:13,557
My parents still think I'm straight.

346
00:13:13,697 --> 00:13:14,413
Really?

347
00:13:14,414 --> 00:13:16,130
What? I could be straight.

348
00:13:16,812 --> 00:13:18,378
Oh, my God, a football.

349
00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:19,832
Throw!

350
00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:23,361
But at some point, aren't you gonna
have to tell them you work here?

351
00:13:23,362 --> 00:13:24,295
Not necessarily

352
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,661
I mean, why upset them
when I'm not going to be here

353
00:13:26,662 --> 00:13:28,000
that much longer anyway?

354
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:29,257
Oh, where are you going?

355
00:13:29,264 --> 00:13:32,105
I don't know, but it's not like
I'm going to be here forever, you know.

356
00:13:32,106 --> 00:13:33,456
This is all temporary.

357
00:13:33,801 --> 00:13:35,777
Oh. It's all temporary.

358
00:13:36,872 --> 00:13:38,582
No, no, not at all, no, I...

359
00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:42,073
there are definitely parts
of this job that I really like.

360
00:13:42,074 --> 00:13:44,521
I just don't know
where my life is going.

361
00:13:44,818 --> 00:13:46,230
- Cool.
- That's not... I...

362
00:13:46,231 --> 00:13:47,527
I have to go put bait in the rat traps.

363
00:13:47,528 --> 00:13:49,234
- No, you don't have...
- I love it.

364
00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:55,890
I hate to see her go,
but I love looking at her butt.

365
00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:59,607
See? This is easy for me.

366
00:14:01,456 --> 00:14:02,987
Garrett, hey.

367
00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:05,740
Hey, Tiffany! Wow. Long time no see.

368
00:14:05,822 --> 00:14:07,842
Yeah, it's been, like,
three and a half years.

369
00:14:07,843 --> 00:14:10,607
Wow, really? That long.
What have you been up to?

370
00:14:10,659 --> 00:14:13,863
Well, mostly raising this little guy.

371
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:17,844
Garrett, this is Jaylen.
Jaylen, this is your daddy.

372
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:19,571
Hi, Daddy.

373
00:14:24,927 --> 00:14:28,308
So you tracked down my ex-girlfriend
who I haven't seen in years

374
00:14:28,309 --> 00:14:30,365
and paid her to say
I was the father of her child

375
00:14:30,366 --> 00:14:32,795
just so I would momentarily stop smiling

376
00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:34,632
and you could win a stupid bet?

377
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:36,689
Hey, when I play, I play hard.

378
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:39,135
Huh. Okay.
All right, let's do this then.

379
00:14:39,221 --> 00:14:42,178
Someday, all the birds
you have are gonna die.

380
00:14:42,936 --> 00:14:44,051
Doesn't bother me.

381
00:14:44,244 --> 00:14:46,357
You're bad at sex,
and your penis is weird.

382
00:14:46,478 --> 00:14:47,606
Really?

383
00:14:47,607 --> 00:14:50,720
Yeah, every time we had sex,
I was horny again by noon.

384
00:14:50,721 --> 00:14:53,146
Interesting. Interesting.

385
00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:56,523
I just don't want to pay for two boxes
of crackers when I only bought one.

386
00:14:56,524 --> 00:14:59,322
It was 1987. Please, can we let it go?

387
00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:03,290
- After lunch?
- Hey, um, we're leaving, so...

388
00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:04,987
Yes, thank you for all the help.

389
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,344
Yeah, we told the cashier

390
00:15:06,345 --> 00:15:08,401
that you helped us, so...

391
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:10,385
Great, well, we don't
work on commission,

392
00:15:10,386 --> 00:15:12,283
but I appreciate it.
Have a heavenly day.

393
00:15:12,284 --> 00:15:14,289
- No, wait, Amy.
- No, I think her name

394
00:15:14,290 --> 00:15:15,672
- is Gabriella.
- No, no, no, no, Mom.

395
00:15:15,757 --> 00:15:16,674
Actually, it's Amy.

396
00:15:16,675 --> 00:15:19,676
Um, she switches her name tag
all the time, and I know that...

397
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:20,540
Jonah, you don't have to do this.

398
00:15:20,541 --> 00:15:21,870
Because I work here.

399
00:15:22,534 --> 00:15:23,283
What?

400
00:15:24,869 --> 00:15:25,714
He does.

401
00:15:26,073 --> 00:15:29,986
Yup, he works in the café all the time.

402
00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:32,125
He brings his med books,
and he studies...

403
00:15:32,126 --> 00:15:34,027
No, no, no that's... that's not true.

404
00:15:34,028 --> 00:15:39,053
I have been working here as
an employee for three years.

405
00:15:41,914 --> 00:15:43,196
This is my job.

406
00:15:45,155 --> 00:15:46,011
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

407
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,509
It's just a lot to process.

408
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:54,619
Oh!

409
00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:55,705
It's okay.

410
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,545
Listen, we're gonna get through this.

411
00:15:59,661 --> 00:16:02,025
Okay, Mom, uh, people are staring.

412
00:16:02,026 --> 00:16:03,658
Could you...

413
00:16:03,683 --> 00:16:05,850
Look, we just want what's
going to make you happy,

414
00:16:06,107 --> 00:16:08,510
and if managing this
store makes you happy,

415
00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:09,818
then we're happy.

416
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,508
Oh, I'm... I'm not the manager.

417
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:12,693
I'm just a floor worker.

418
00:16:15,912 --> 00:16:17,817
I'm just gonna sit for a second.

419
00:16:21,685 --> 00:16:23,105
This is hard to watch.

420
00:16:23,535 --> 00:16:25,241
Mm, I know, right?

421
00:16:27,188 --> 00:16:30,679
There is no easy way to say
this so, here it goes.

422
00:16:31,453 --> 00:16:32,381
You're fired.

423
00:16:32,954 --> 00:16:34,397
- I'm so... what?
- Yup.

424
00:16:34,398 --> 00:16:38,091
You are grossly incompetent
and unpleasant to be around,

425
00:16:38,159 --> 00:16:40,508
so why don't you just go be a doctor

426
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,072
or something else great.

427
00:16:42,157 --> 00:16:44,610
Okay, I... I see what you're doing here.

428
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:47,086
No, I said get out of here, Jonah!

429
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:51,054
Go chase your dreams and let
imagination be your guide.

430
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:53,265
Glenn, um...

431
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:57,110
I appreciate whatever this is,

432
00:16:57,145 --> 00:16:58,778
but you don't have
to worry about me, okay?

433
00:16:58,813 --> 00:17:00,680
I'm... I'm staying.

434
00:17:03,274 --> 00:17:04,172
Okay.

435
00:17:05,061 --> 00:17:07,893
But I know that things have been rocky

436
00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,457
between you and your parents lately,

437
00:17:09,458 --> 00:17:11,145
so if you need a father figure...

438
00:17:11,146 --> 00:17:12,837
No, that's... thank you, thank you.

439
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:15,453
I really... that's kind, but, um,
I'm okay.

440
00:17:15,766 --> 00:17:17,071
- You sure?
- Yup.

441
00:17:17,072 --> 00:17:19,685
Because we could go out back
and throw a ball around or...

442
00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:21,279
That's... that's okay.

443
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,232
Hey, um...

444
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,716
listen, don't be too mad at Jonah.

445
00:17:27,059 --> 00:17:28,608
I mean, if you think about it,

446
00:17:28,972 --> 00:17:31,709
he wants to please you so much

447
00:17:31,998 --> 00:17:34,734
that he spent three years
constantly lying to you.

448
00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:36,900
That's got to make you feel good.

449
00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:38,753
Yeah, not really, no. Mm-mm.

450
00:17:39,936 --> 00:17:43,039
Well, look, he was lying about his job,

451
00:17:43,815 --> 00:17:45,099
not about who he is.

452
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,004
He's a good person. That is real.

453
00:17:48,592 --> 00:17:50,479
You know what? She's right.

454
00:17:51,064 --> 00:17:53,175
I mean, if he's happy and
Natalie is okay with it...

455
00:17:53,176 --> 00:17:54,767
- Well...
- We should be happy too.

456
00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:56,017
- You're right.
- Natalie?

457
00:17:56,018 --> 00:17:57,067
Who's Natalie?

458
00:17:57,068 --> 00:17:58,091
His fiancée.

459
00:17:58,839 --> 00:17:59,913
His fiancée?

460
00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:02,613
Oh, I didn't know...

461
00:18:03,897 --> 00:18:08,392
uh, and how long has...
has he been fiancée'd?

462
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:10,632
Well, um, they've been dating

463
00:18:10,633 --> 00:18:12,174
- about three years now.
- Three years.

464
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,749
- Three years?
- Mm-hmm.

465
00:18:14,342 --> 00:18:16,775
Wow, that's... that's... that's as long

466
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:18,191
as I've known him. Um...

467
00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:21,345
I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm very weirded out

468
00:18:21,346 --> 00:18:22,751
that I have never met her.

469
00:18:22,752 --> 00:18:23,825
- Well...
- Well, we haven't either.

470
00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:24,990
She's always off somewhere filming.

471
00:18:24,991 --> 00:18:26,205
No, she's an actress.

472
00:18:26,641 --> 00:18:28,886
Have you seen "The Garden States"?

473
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,419
- "Garden State"?
- Mm-hmm.

474
00:18:31,727 --> 00:18:32,603
Natalie...

475
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:35,188
I'm sorry, what's her last name?

476
00:18:35,189 --> 00:18:36,052
Portman.

477
00:18:36,913 --> 00:18:38,269
- Portman?
- Mm-hmm.

478
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,288
- Natalie Portman.
- Right.

479
00:18:40,289 --> 00:18:43,802
Jonah told you that he's
engaged to Natalie...

480
00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:45,192
Natalie Portman, mm-hmm.

481
00:18:45,193 --> 00:18:46,516
Oh, my God.

482
00:18:47,847 --> 00:18:50,069
He was lying.
He was lying about that too.

483
00:18:50,076 --> 00:18:52,289
- Oh...
- No, I don't... I don't know.

484
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:53,520
I knew it was weird. I knew it.

485
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,706
I read in that magazine article

486
00:18:54,707 --> 00:18:56,188
that she was married to some dancer.

487
00:18:56,189 --> 00:18:59,564
You know what? Actually,
now that I am thinking about it

488
00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:03,119
I have seen Natalie in our store.

489
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,132
And she was all up on Jonah.

490
00:19:06,293 --> 00:19:09,183
Now... now I get it.
It totally makes sense.

491
00:19:09,408 --> 00:19:11,983
It was so nice meeting you people.

492
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:14,424
Well...

493
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,016
that explains why she wouldn't
hug me in the airport that time.

494
00:19:18,017 --> 00:19:20,546
Who have I been emailing? Who?

495
00:19:20,749 --> 00:19:21,924
Do you ever think about all the things

496
00:19:21,925 --> 00:19:23,791
you can't do 'cause
you're in a wheelchair?

497
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:26,434
Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do.

498
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:27,965
But you know what?

499
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,998
Your sister Denise
is a lot prettier than you.

500
00:19:30,999 --> 00:19:33,970
And that's why your mom gave
her the grandfather clock.

501
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:35,971
Hmm. You may have a point.

502
00:19:36,413 --> 00:19:37,394
Do you ever think about

503
00:19:37,395 --> 00:19:38,597
how no one's ever going to love you

504
00:19:38,598 --> 00:19:40,336
and you're going to die alone?
'Cause personally,

505
00:19:40,337 --> 00:19:42,224
I think you are going to die alone.

506
00:19:42,225 --> 00:19:44,225
Oh. Well, speaking of alone,

507
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:46,396
remember that time when you were a kid

508
00:19:46,397 --> 00:19:48,914
and your dad abandoned
you at a gas station?

509
00:19:48,915 --> 00:19:50,315
Yup. Mm-hmm.

510
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,584
- It's hard to forget.
- Yeah.

511
00:19:55,969 --> 00:19:57,969
- Why are we doing this?
- It's a bet.

512
00:19:59,087 --> 00:20:00,182
This is fun.

513
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,577
So, yeah, no, I told my mom
I was "going to a movie

514
00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,276
with Natalie Portman", and
she thought I was seeing

515
00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:06,151
a movie with Natalie Portman,

516
00:20:06,175 --> 00:20:08,744
And she was so happy and proud.

517
00:20:08,778 --> 00:20:11,780
And she believed you,
which is the weirdest part

518
00:20:11,814 --> 00:20:13,682
because you are so out of her league.

519
00:20:13,716 --> 00:20:15,782
I am. I'm completely out of her league.

520
00:20:16,986 --> 00:20:18,526
Well, no more secrets.

521
00:20:19,322 --> 00:20:21,179
Except, of course...

522
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:22,958
Yes, no, obviously.

523
00:20:22,992 --> 00:20:25,307
I mean, we don't...
you know, just until...

524
00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:28,163
- we know...
- Right, I mean, we...

525
00:20:28,197 --> 00:20:29,966
we wouldn't want anybody to...

526
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,168
to...

527
00:20:35,071 --> 00:20:37,502
Hey, guys, uh...

528
00:20:38,331 --> 00:20:40,976
so Jonah and I have kinda been dating.

529
00:20:42,786 --> 00:20:43,512
Okay.

530
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,180
Hasn't that been going on for a while?

531
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,465
No... well, yes, but we'd
been keeping it secret.

532
00:20:49,567 --> 00:20:52,821
Now we're... announcing it.

533
00:20:52,855 --> 00:20:53,488
Yep.

534
00:20:53,908 --> 00:20:55,904
So what do you want from us?

535
00:20:56,893 --> 00:20:59,071
- Nothing.
- We just thought you'd...

536
00:21:00,897 --> 00:21:02,197
Never mind.

537
00:21:02,231 --> 00:21:03,166
Okay.

538
00:21:03,526 --> 00:21:06,468
Are we doing announcements?
I lost my favorite pen.

539
00:21:06,502 --> 00:21:09,471
It's a blue pen. The ink is also blue.

540
00:21:09,505 --> 00:21:11,073
- Click or cap?
- Click.

541
00:21:11,107 --> 00:21:12,340
On it.

542
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:15,454
Wow. I gotta say that was underwhelming.

543
00:21:15,479 --> 00:21:17,696
Yeah, I thought
that'd be so much bigger.

544
00:21:17,721 --> 00:21:23,117
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