1
00:00:01,576 --> 00:00:04,677
Sheldon, do you want to put
the tables after each section

2
00:00:04,746 --> 00:00:06,712
or in an appendix
at the end?

3
00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:09,048
You know what?
We wrote this paper together.

4
00:00:09,117 --> 00:00:10,816
I think we should
decide together

5
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:14,220
that they go in an appendix
at the end.

6
00:00:14,289 --> 00:00:16,522
How about that?
There is an "I" in "team."

7
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,563
- Look at what we made.
- I know.

8
00:00:23,631 --> 00:00:25,831
It really is the best
of both of us.

9
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,601
It's got my math
and your sassy takedown

10
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:30,236
of the fundamental nature
of symmetry.

11
00:00:30,305 --> 00:00:33,039
It's got my bottomless
intellectual curiosity

12
00:00:33,107 --> 00:00:34,874
and your petulant refusal

13
00:00:34,943 --> 00:00:37,777
to spell "gray" with an "a"
like an American.

14
00:00:37,845 --> 00:00:41,514
You realize we still have
a lot of work to do

15
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,882
before we can publish.

16
00:00:42,951 --> 00:00:44,784
Perhaps we should
divide and conquer.

17
00:00:44,852 --> 00:00:47,353
Now, you track down
all the citations

18
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,999
and properly note them
in our bibliography,

19
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:51,057
and I will roll up
my sleeves

20
00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:53,593
and decide what font
we want to use.

21
00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:57,430
Sheldon, there are hundreds
of citations to track down.

22
00:00:57,498 --> 00:01:00,433
And thousands of fonts, but
you don't hear me complaining.

23
00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:03,536
I am not gonna
spend weeks

24
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,705
in a library
looking up old papers.

25
00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,873
Can't we hire
a grad student to do it?

26
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,141
Yeah, a grad student?

27
00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,010
I am not trusting
our unpublished paper

28
00:01:11,079 --> 00:01:12,245
to some millennial.

29
00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:13,713
They'll put unicorn emojis on it

30
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,881
and then post it
on social media.

31
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,783
Why would they do that?

32
00:01:17,852 --> 00:01:20,686
Economic anxiety, too much
avocado toast, who cares?

33
00:01:20,755 --> 00:01:24,991
Look, the point is, we can't
afford to have this paper leaked

34
00:01:25,059 --> 00:01:26,325
before we're ready to publish.

35
00:01:26,394 --> 00:01:28,038
That's how you kiss
the Nobel Prize good-bye

36
00:01:28,062 --> 00:01:30,329
instead of hello
as I intend to do.

37
00:01:30,398 --> 00:01:31,764
I assume you mean
metaphorically.

38
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,000
Absolutely not. If the King
of Sweden hands me a medal,

39
00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:36,569
I intend to smear it with Purell
and then kiss it.

40
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,472
But what if we ask one
of our friends to help us out?

41
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:40,640
How about Leonard?

42
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:44,176
Gee, I don't know.
Can we trust him?

43
00:01:44,245 --> 00:01:47,079
He's your best friend
in the whole world.

44
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,481
Yes, but he's
always struck me

45
00:01:48,549 --> 00:01:50,082
as the guy in
the plane crash

46
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,185
who doesn't wait until you're
all the way dead to eat you.

47
00:01:54,255 --> 00:01:56,756
I think
you can trust him.

48
00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:59,825
Oh, Amy, you never lose
that childlike innocence.

49
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,930
Leonard, I need
to tell you something.

50
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,999
I'm having an affair.

51
00:02:11,072 --> 00:02:12,571
Okay.

52
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,875
You have to swear
not to tell anybody.

53
00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:17,243
Okay.

54
00:02:18,313 --> 00:02:20,079
You are the only one
who knows.

55
00:02:20,148 --> 00:02:22,114
Uh, well, you and Rita,
the cafeteria lady

56
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,650
who has been giving me
more than Tater Tots.

57
00:02:26,587 --> 00:02:28,154
Hey, Sheldon.

58
00:02:28,222 --> 00:02:30,189
Not a word.

59
00:02:35,296 --> 00:02:37,063
What did he want?

60
00:02:37,131 --> 00:02:38,842
Oh, nothing. He just concocted
some stupid test

61
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:40,433
to see if I can keep a secret.

62
00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:41,501
Ooh, what's
the secret?

63
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,305
I'm not gonna tell you that.

64
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,153
The test is stupid,
but I still want to pass.

65
00:02:48,154 --> 00:02:50,254
? The Big Bang Theory 12x09 ?
The Citation Negation

66
00:02:50,255 --> 00:02:53,790
? Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ?

67
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:57,083
? Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ?

68
00:02:57,151 --> 00:02:58,718
? The Earth began to cool ?

69
00:02:58,786 --> 00:03:01,454
? The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ?

70
00:03:01,522 --> 00:03:03,956
? We built the Wall ?
? We built the pyramids ?

71
00:03:04,025 --> 00:03:06,659
? Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ?

72
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,561
? That all started
with a big bang ?

73
00:03:08,629 --> 00:03:10,179
? Bang! ?

74
00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:15,883
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

75
00:03:15,984 --> 00:03:19,420
Congratulations, Leonard, you
passed my secret loyalty test.

76
00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:21,270
The truth is, I was
never having an affair

77
00:03:21,271 --> 00:03:22,604
with the
cafeteria lady.

78
00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:25,040
There's only one woman who
gets to touch my no-no parts,

79
00:03:25,109 --> 00:03:26,174
and she's right here.

80
00:03:27,177 --> 00:03:29,544
- Sheldon.
- No, no.

81
00:03:31,749 --> 00:03:33,648
Well, I am shocked,
Sheldon,

82
00:03:33,717 --> 00:03:35,851
because I totally believed
that the woman you reported

83
00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:38,453
for being stingy with the peas
couldn't keep her hands off you.

84
00:03:40,057 --> 00:03:42,224
Well, I am a little hurt
that you weren't gonna tell me

85
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:44,659
my husband was having an affair.
I thought we were friends.

86
00:03:44,728 --> 00:03:46,194
I didn't really believe him.

87
00:03:46,263 --> 00:03:48,441
Why not? You don't think
other women find him attractive?

88
00:03:48,465 --> 00:03:49,631
No.

89
00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:55,704
I suppose you're wondering why
I put you through all this.

90
00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:58,473
You mean the last two minutes
or the last 20 years?

91
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,877
We need to ask you
a big favor.

92
00:04:01,945 --> 00:04:04,846
Well, you've certainly
gone about it the right way.

93
00:04:04,915 --> 00:04:06,526
You know we're almost
finished with our paper;

94
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:09,050
we just need help
tracking down the citations.

95
00:04:09,119 --> 00:04:12,320
That's busywork. Can't you just
get a grad student to do it?

96
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,657
No, this paper is
incredibly important to us,

97
00:04:15,726 --> 00:04:17,259
and we need someone
we can trust.

98
00:04:17,327 --> 00:04:18,527
Please, it would
mean a lot.

99
00:04:18,595 --> 00:04:20,695
Y-You know what? Sure.

100
00:04:20,764 --> 00:04:23,165
The three of us in the library
looking up old papers--

101
00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,599
that actually
could be kind of fun.

102
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:25,901
Oh, no, we
won't be there.

103
00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:27,569
It just got more fun.

104
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:35,544
Bam, took him out.

105
00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,447
Now I'm doing a victory
dance to celebrate.

106
00:04:41,351 --> 00:04:43,919
Where are you?

107
00:04:43,987 --> 00:04:46,621
About to shoot
some dancing jackass.

108
00:04:49,259 --> 00:04:51,259
Hey!

109
00:04:51,328 --> 00:04:53,929
And now I'm doing
a victory dance.

110
00:04:53,997 --> 00:04:55,764
What you playing?

111
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:56,932
Fortnite.

112
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,667
A bunch of people parachute
onto an island

113
00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,735
and fight it out to be
the last man standing.

114
00:05:00,804 --> 00:05:01,903
Like Hunger Games?

115
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:03,338
More like Bachelor in Paradise,

116
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:04,706
but not as cutthroat.

117
00:05:05,809 --> 00:05:07,576
Sounds fun. Can I play?

118
00:05:07,644 --> 00:05:10,045
I don't know if you'd like it.
It's kind of for gamers.

119
00:05:10,113 --> 00:05:13,014
Hey, I'm a gamer.
I play Candy Crush, Bejeweled,

120
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,323
and Sesame Street
Letter School,

121
00:05:14,384 --> 00:05:16,224
which I beat our daughter at
every single time.

122
00:05:18,121 --> 00:05:19,588
All right, give it a shot.

123
00:05:19,656 --> 00:05:21,234
This one's how you move,
this is how you shoot.

124
00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:23,325
"A" jumps, "B" puts
you into build mode.

125
00:05:23,393 --> 00:05:24,960
And depending on what
you want to build,

126
00:05:25,028 --> 00:05:26,761
you can use LB, RB,
LT, or RT.

127
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:29,097
Just put me in,
I'll figure it out.

128
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:31,466
Oh, sounds like me
on our honeymoon.

129
00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:35,604
Okay, you're
skydiving down.

130
00:05:35,672 --> 00:05:37,706
You're almost
to the ground.

131
00:05:37,774 --> 00:05:39,808
Now, when you land,
you're gonna want...

132
00:05:39,877 --> 00:05:41,943
Okay, you're dead.

133
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:45,814
Wait, that's it?
That wasn't fun at all.

134
00:05:45,883 --> 00:05:47,749
Oh, now it sounds like
you on our honeymoon.

135
00:05:50,487 --> 00:05:52,988
Thanks for helping with this.

136
00:05:53,056 --> 00:05:54,756
What are friends for?

137
00:05:54,825 --> 00:05:57,759
My friend sent me down to this
basement to do his grunt work,

138
00:05:57,828 --> 00:06:01,329
so I wouldn't know.

139
00:06:01,398 --> 00:06:03,198
Hey, probably shouldn't
say anything,

140
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,535
but did you hear about
Sheldon and the lunch lady?

141
00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:08,904
Yeah, uh, that's not true.

142
00:06:08,972 --> 00:06:10,906
That's just something
Sheldon made up to test us.

143
00:06:10,974 --> 00:06:14,809
I wish I'd known that
before I called her a floozy

144
00:06:14,878 --> 00:06:17,812
in front of
the whole lunch line.

145
00:06:17,881 --> 00:06:20,715
This is a list of the papers
we need to pull.

146
00:06:20,784 --> 00:06:23,218
Why don't we split up?
You take half, I take half.

147
00:06:23,287 --> 00:06:24,986
I don't know, it's pretty
creepy down here.

148
00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:26,454
Maybe we should
stay together.

149
00:06:26,523 --> 00:06:28,290
Come on, Raj,
it's just a library.

150
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:30,125
You could say that
about anything.

151
00:06:30,193 --> 00:06:32,073
It's just a cemetery.
It's just a haunted house.

152
00:06:32,129 --> 00:06:34,129
It's just a portal to hell.

153
00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:36,798
F-Fine, how about we split up

154
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,711
but we stay in constant
communication with each other?

155
00:06:38,735 --> 00:06:40,702
Yeah, thank you.

156
00:06:48,645 --> 00:06:49,911
Leonard?

157
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,780
- Still here.
- Okay.

158
00:06:56,353 --> 00:06:58,587
- Leonard?
- Still here.

159
00:06:58,655 --> 00:07:00,255
Okay.

160
00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:08,730
Leonard?

161
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,933
Leonard?

162
00:07:14,371 --> 00:07:15,737
Oh, God!

163
00:07:18,642 --> 00:07:20,275
Too much dust.

164
00:07:26,950 --> 00:07:28,249
Hey, ready for lunch?

165
00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:29,417
Hang on.

166
00:07:29,486 --> 00:07:31,753
Really, video games?

167
00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:33,388
Is this some sort of
Freaky Friday thing

168
00:07:33,457 --> 00:07:35,624
where you're actually Howard?

169
00:07:35,692 --> 00:07:38,660
Please, if I were Howard,
I'd be doing this.

170
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:45,467
You know what? He's not wrong.

171
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:46,768
All right, great,
can we go?

172
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,437
In a minute. I want to show
Howard I can play this game.

173
00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:51,973
You know, you make
a lot more money than he does.

174
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:54,809
Can't you just rub
his nose in that?

175
00:07:54,878 --> 00:07:57,912
I can, but I want
to rub his nose in this.

176
00:07:57,981 --> 00:08:01,182
Ugh, damn it,
why can't I hit anybody?

177
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:02,617
Here, let me try.

178
00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:05,487
Lots of luck--
it's way harder than it looks.

179
00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:07,322
Got him.

180
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:14,696
Okay, this citation
is correct. How you doing?

181
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,398
Pretty good. I'm just
looking through

182
00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:19,601
"The Effect of High Energy Muons
on Proton Pion Scattering

183
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,604
at the National Accelerator..."

184
00:08:26,843 --> 00:08:28,476
"...Laboratory."

185
00:08:28,545 --> 00:08:31,279
Hey, should we take
a break?

186
00:08:31,348 --> 00:08:33,415
No, this actually
makes it more exciting.

187
00:08:33,483 --> 00:08:36,484
We have to get through all of
this before I run out of this.

188
00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:39,421
It's like the movie Speed,
but instead of a bus,

189
00:08:39,489 --> 00:08:41,256
it's your lungs.

190
00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,392
And instead of Sandra Bullock,
it has sadness.

191
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:47,395
Why did you pull
this Russian paper?

192
00:08:47,464 --> 00:08:49,008
Oh, it was cited
in this paper over here,

193
00:08:49,032 --> 00:08:50,532
so I thought
we should check it out.

194
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,467
Mm, it's not
translated.

195
00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:54,580
Maybe we should talk to Howard;
his Russian's pretty good.

196
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:57,972
We don't need Howard.
I've got Google Translate.

197
00:08:58,041 --> 00:09:00,842
Okay, here we go,

198
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:02,744
from Russian to English.

199
00:09:04,147 --> 00:09:08,850
"Examinations of moose chowder
in lemon parachutes."

200
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:14,589
Yeah, okay, now I know why
this app is free.

201
00:09:16,059 --> 00:09:19,861
Oh, gosh, my Russian's
a little rusty.

202
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:22,864
If it helps, this word
may be "moose."

203
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:29,003
Okay.

204
00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:30,438
This paper is called

205
00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:34,242
"Examinations of a

206
00:09:34,311 --> 00:09:37,445
Super-Asymmetric Model
of the Universe"

207
00:09:37,514 --> 00:09:40,715
by Dr. Vasily
Gregora-poli-popivich.

208
00:09:40,784 --> 00:09:42,650
W-Wait, so Amy
and Sheldon

209
00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:44,519
weren't the first
to think of super-asymmetry?

210
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:46,821
No, doesn't look like it.
This is from 1978.

211
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:50,425
Okay, well, they might need
to rename their theory

212
00:09:50,494 --> 00:09:54,362
"The Cooper-Fowler
Gregora-poli-popivich Theory."

213
00:09:54,431 --> 00:09:56,311
Kind of rolls right off
your tongue, doesn't it?

214
00:09:58,001 --> 00:09:59,868
Sheldon is not gonna be
happy about this.

215
00:09:59,936 --> 00:10:02,570
Well, he's gonna be less happy
about this, uh...

216
00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:05,206
"The super-asymmetric model

217
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,809
"is inherently flawed

218
00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,780
and does not bear the weight
of further examination." Hmm.

219
00:10:11,848 --> 00:10:14,349
So this disproves their theory?

220
00:10:14,417 --> 00:10:15,483
Sounds like it.

221
00:10:15,552 --> 00:10:17,719
Oh, how are we gonna tell him?

222
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:20,588
That's easy. Just go up to him
and say, "Sheldon,

223
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,590
Raj has something to tell you."

224
00:10:24,161 --> 00:10:26,494
Why do I have to tell him?

225
00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:27,862
You did find it.

226
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,611
I fou-- but he's the one
who translated it.

227
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,233
Okay, okay, h-how about this?
We all tell him.

228
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:33,735
Or even better: you tell him.

229
00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:37,472
Yeah, that makes the most sense.

230
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,874
You guys are such cowards.

231
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,843
Yes, we are.

232
00:10:51,281 --> 00:10:53,214
Hey, Denise. Is Stuart here?

233
00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:54,782
Oh, no. Doctor's appointment.

234
00:10:54,851 --> 00:10:55,883
Oh, is he okay?

235
00:10:55,952 --> 00:10:58,386
Not since I've known him.

236
00:10:58,454 --> 00:11:01,489
Which brings up
an interesting question.

237
00:11:01,558 --> 00:11:05,826
You and Stuart. Why?

238
00:11:05,895 --> 00:11:08,596
I don't know.
My parents owned a funeral home.

239
00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:10,464
Read into that what you will.

240
00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:13,067
What can I help you with?

241
00:11:13,136 --> 00:11:16,103
I was hoping Stuart could show
me how to play Fortnite.

242
00:11:16,172 --> 00:11:17,972
- Mm, I can teach you.
- Really, you good?

243
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:21,342
Look at my skin. I haven't been
outside in six years.

244
00:11:21,411 --> 00:11:22,810
So you'll coach me?

245
00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:25,146
Sure. Now let me ask
you a question.

246
00:11:25,215 --> 00:11:27,582
Howard. Why?

247
00:11:28,685 --> 00:11:31,285
You got eyes--
what do you think?

248
00:11:56,045 --> 00:11:58,279
Wow, I really wish
I didn't see this.

249
00:11:58,348 --> 00:12:00,381
Oh, hey.

250
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:03,251
I just need to give Sheldon
some bad news,

251
00:12:03,319 --> 00:12:05,119
and I really don't want to.

252
00:12:05,188 --> 00:12:07,366
- Oh, my God. Is everything okay?
- No, I-I found a paper

253
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,323
that proves their theory wrong.

254
00:12:09,392 --> 00:12:11,325
They thought this was gonna
be their Nobel Prize.

255
00:12:11,394 --> 00:12:12,827
It's gonna break his heart.

256
00:12:12,895 --> 00:12:16,230
Oh, man. Maybe leave
an anonymous note, you know,

257
00:12:16,299 --> 00:12:18,232
like in high school,
when you want to let

258
00:12:18,301 --> 00:12:21,569
your best friend know that
her boyfriend's cheating on her.

259
00:12:21,638 --> 00:12:24,305
Why wouldn't
you just tell her that?

260
00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:27,141
I don't know.
Maybe you had a hickey.

261
00:12:30,046 --> 00:12:31,790
I-Isn't it better
to get bad news from a friend?

262
00:12:31,814 --> 00:12:33,080
Trust me, it's not.

263
00:12:33,149 --> 00:12:35,383
I went to prom
with a hickey and a black eye.

264
00:12:36,986 --> 00:12:38,706
Come on, knock on the door.
You can do this.

265
00:12:38,755 --> 00:12:40,721
All right, a-all right,
here I go.

266
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,556
Oh, wait, just let me
get inside.

267
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,225
Why?

268
00:12:44,294 --> 00:12:46,894
"Why"? Come on.

269
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,768
Oh, hey, Leonard.

270
00:12:53,836 --> 00:12:55,069
Is the podcast too loud?

271
00:12:55,138 --> 00:12:56,370
I didn't hear a podcast.

272
00:12:56,439 --> 00:13:00,358
I told you no one could hear it.

273
00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:03,194
Well, I heard Ira Glass,
so he's either in your earbuds

274
00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:05,713
or clinging to the ceiling
like a gecko.

275
00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:11,068
Actually, I-I need to talk to
both of you about your paper.

276
00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:12,887
Oh, right,
how are the citations coming?

277
00:13:12,955 --> 00:13:14,433
Well, Raj and I were
chasing them down

278
00:13:14,457 --> 00:13:17,458
like you asked us to, and, um,

279
00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:18,826
we came a-across a,

280
00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:23,230
a Russian paper that seems
to disprove super-asymmetry.

281
00:13:23,299 --> 00:13:25,599
Are you sure?

282
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:28,703
Yeah, uh, Howard translated it.

283
00:13:30,206 --> 00:13:32,139
I'm so sorry.

284
00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:37,445
Sheldon,
are you, are you all right?

285
00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:39,714
Oh, yes, of course.

286
00:13:39,782 --> 00:13:41,682
Thank you for telling us,
Leonard.

287
00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:42,850
I'm sure that wasn't easy.

288
00:13:45,188 --> 00:13:47,121
I guess we don't need
this anymore.

289
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:10,711
So what are you listening to,
This American Life?

290
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:16,150
Okay, so walk up to
that chest and push X.

291
00:14:16,219 --> 00:14:18,285
X. Push X.

292
00:14:18,354 --> 00:14:19,453
Which one's X?

293
00:14:19,522 --> 00:14:22,556
The one with the X on it.

294
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,125
Take it easy,
I'm new at this.

295
00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:26,460
What, the alphabet?

296
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:28,662
You don't have to be snarky.

297
00:14:28,731 --> 00:14:29,942
Hey, do you want
to play the game,

298
00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:31,206
or do you want to crawl back up

299
00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:34,268
your mommy's shirt
and chow down like a baby?

300
00:14:34,337 --> 00:14:36,670
Damn, what is wrong with you?

301
00:14:36,739 --> 00:14:38,617
I'm sorry, I thought you
wanted to beat your husband.

302
00:14:38,641 --> 00:14:40,307
- I do.
- Well, then suck it up!

303
00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:41,942
Okay!

304
00:14:48,918 --> 00:14:51,152
Hi.

305
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:52,586
Can I do anything?

306
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:55,356
No.

307
00:14:55,425 --> 00:14:58,025
I can make you some tea,
I-I could sing "Soft Kitty."

308
00:14:58,094 --> 00:15:00,361
I don't understand how
you're not more upset by this.

309
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:01,529
This is your paper, too.

310
00:15:01,597 --> 00:15:04,565
I am upset, Sheldon.

311
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,568
I'm just trying to hold
it together for you.

312
00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:11,972
Like when that goose wouldn't
leave us alone at brunch.

313
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,574
That thing scared you, too?

314
00:15:13,643 --> 00:15:18,546
Well, of course it did.
I was wearing a down jacket.

315
00:15:18,614 --> 00:15:21,048
Well, I don't need you
to pretend to be okay for me.

316
00:15:21,117 --> 00:15:22,361
If anything,
that makes it worse.

317
00:15:22,385 --> 00:15:26,954
Fine. I'm not okay.

318
00:15:27,023 --> 00:15:29,156
We came up with this idea
at our wedding.

319
00:15:29,225 --> 00:15:32,159
We poured months
of our lives into it.

320
00:15:32,228 --> 00:15:34,328
I thought we were changing
the course of science,

321
00:15:34,397 --> 00:15:37,698
and now it's all gone.
I'm devastated.

322
00:15:39,101 --> 00:15:41,035
I was wrong,
that makes it worse.

323
00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:42,203
Go back to being happy.

324
00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:51,111
Hey, guys.

325
00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:52,580
- Hey.
- Hey.

326
00:15:52,648 --> 00:15:54,882
You, uh, playing that,
what's it called again?

327
00:15:54,951 --> 00:15:57,418
Fortnow?

328
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:59,253
- Fortnite.
- Right.

329
00:15:59,322 --> 00:16:01,622
I guess I forgot 'cause I only
played it that one time

330
00:16:01,691 --> 00:16:05,226
and I was so bad at it.

331
00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:07,528
Don't beat yourself up.
It's a hard game.

332
00:16:07,597 --> 00:16:09,697
Would you mind if I gave it
another shot?

333
00:16:09,765 --> 00:16:11,265
Mm, maybe later, Berna...

334
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,934
Give me.

335
00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:17,304
Where are you, Howard,
where are you?

336
00:16:17,373 --> 00:16:21,242
Let me just build a little ramp,
get some height.

337
00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:25,379
You want to press B to go into
build-- oh, you already did it.

338
00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:27,815
Did I? I'm just hitting buttons.

339
00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,116
Wee!

340
00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:33,420
I see your ramp.
I'm coming for you.

341
00:16:33,489 --> 00:16:35,456
You can try, but...

342
00:16:35,525 --> 00:16:36,924
Gotcha.

343
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:41,061
Son of a bitch.

344
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,329
Want to play again?

345
00:16:42,398 --> 00:16:43,531
No!

346
00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:47,568
- Howard.
- What?

347
00:16:47,637 --> 00:16:50,104
I make more money than you.

348
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:56,277
You got yourself
a good one there, buddy.

349
00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:01,682
So neither of them
showed up for work today?

350
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,295
No, I tried calling
and no one picked up.

351
00:17:03,319 --> 00:17:04,718
Look, I'm sure
they're fine.

352
00:17:04,787 --> 00:17:06,765
They were probably up all night
coming up with a new theory.

353
00:17:06,789 --> 00:17:09,590
I-I also texted to see
if he wanted to go to the new

354
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:12,159
Fantastic Beasts movie
and he didn't respond.

355
00:17:12,228 --> 00:17:14,788
All right, well, they're already
dead. There's nothing we can do.

356
00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:22,336
Come in.

357
00:17:26,842 --> 00:17:28,809
Hey...

358
00:17:28,878 --> 00:17:32,646
You guys look all comfy.
Did-did you take the day off?

359
00:17:32,715 --> 00:17:35,049
It's Saturday.

360
00:17:35,117 --> 00:17:37,217
No, it's not.

361
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:41,021
Great, another thing
we're wrong about.

362
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,892
How many does
that make, Amy?

363
00:17:44,961 --> 00:17:48,329
Two.

364
00:17:48,397 --> 00:17:50,164
Two things.

365
00:17:50,232 --> 00:17:53,033
What happened to us?

366
00:17:53,102 --> 00:17:55,169
I'll tell you what happened.

367
00:17:55,237 --> 00:17:58,205
Professor Gregoropovich.

368
00:17:58,274 --> 00:18:00,808
I-I think it's
Gregora-poli-popivich, but...

369
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:09,516
Three.

370
00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:13,520
Look, you guys, you had a,
you had a setback, you know?

371
00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:16,156
This is the time you got to
dig in and-and try harder.

372
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:19,059
It's like halftime
and you're down by seven.

373
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,362
What are you doing?

374
00:18:21,430 --> 00:18:22,563
All right,
it's-it's like

375
00:18:22,632 --> 00:18:25,132
Bat-halftime and you're down
by Bat-seven.

376
00:18:26,802 --> 00:18:28,202
Let me try.

377
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:30,838
You-you guys can't just give up.

378
00:18:30,906 --> 00:18:32,818
Uh, individually, you are
the smartest people I know.

379
00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:35,209
Together, you can do anything.

380
00:18:35,277 --> 00:18:37,322
I appreciate what you're trying
to do but please stop.

381
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:39,546
You can't make this better.

382
00:18:39,615 --> 00:18:41,548
- All right, Amy, listen...
- I'm with Sheldon.

383
00:18:41,617 --> 00:18:43,283
We worked our butts off
on this paper

384
00:18:43,352 --> 00:18:44,852
and it was all for nothing.

385
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,087
And if you think
some pep talk can fix that,

386
00:18:47,156 --> 00:18:50,424
then you don't understand
how much this meant to us.

387
00:18:50,493 --> 00:18:51,725
Is there anything we can do?

388
00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:53,560
No.

389
00:18:53,629 --> 00:18:55,195
Yeah-- wait.

390
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,064
Do I smell Siam Palace?

391
00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:59,566
Oh, yeah, it's our dinner.

392
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,774
I mean, it's your dinner.

393
00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:09,543
Any mango sticky rice?

394
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:10,711
No.

395
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:13,113
And the blows keep coming.

396
00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:20,660
I see you. I see you...

397
00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:22,161
and boom.

398
00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:25,164
Gotcha! How's it feel, Penny?

399
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:28,534
Like I don't care at all.

400
00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,270
Wrong, it feels bad because
you lost and I won.

401
00:19:31,339 --> 00:19:33,372
Whoo! What a rush!

402
00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:35,708
All right, can we go eat now?

403
00:19:35,777 --> 00:19:36,777
- Hell yeah.
- All right.

404
00:19:36,844 --> 00:19:37,977
Hey, how's it going?

405
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:40,579
Boom!

406
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:45,017
Okay, I'm-I'm gonna drive.

407
00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:52,563
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man