1
00:00:00,134 --> 00:00:03,970
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:10,151 --> 00:00:11,930
Hi. My name is Mike.

3
00:00:11,936 --> 00:00:14,020
And while your house is very nice,

4
00:00:14,022 --> 00:00:15,688
this isn't going to be a love letter

5
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,890
thanking you for letting us stay here.

6
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,959
We usually come to the
beach twice a year...

7
00:00:19,961 --> 00:00:21,560
A week at the beginning of the summer

8
00:00:21,562 --> 00:00:23,036
and a week at the end.

9
00:00:23,042 --> 00:00:25,610
My wife's sister owns a
place right on the water.

10
00:00:25,616 --> 00:00:27,148
Her husband is a lawyer.

11
00:00:28,423 --> 00:00:30,202
My family and I rent a condo

12
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,837
on the other side of the freeway

13
00:00:31,839 --> 00:00:34,206
because I'm not a lawyer.

14
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,708
Guys, you've got to pay attention.

15
00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:37,676
You're... You're dropping everything.

16
00:00:37,678 --> 00:00:40,346
How come Aunt Debbie gets
to stay on the beach?

17
00:00:40,348 --> 00:00:42,081
Because Aunt Debbie married well.

18
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,161
Shh!

19
00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:45,651
You want a dad who represents
multi-national corporations

20
00:00:45,653 --> 00:00:47,153
in tort litigation?

21
00:00:47,155 --> 00:00:49,455
Huh? Does that seem
like a fun dad to you?

22
00:01:14,102 --> 00:01:16,745
_

23
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:21,053
Getting a new credit card?

24
00:01:21,222 --> 00:01:23,389
Hopefully. Mine are maxed out.

25
00:01:23,391 --> 00:01:25,591
Last week, I hit the limit on my Target,

26
00:01:25,593 --> 00:01:26,944
and this morning, I used up my

27
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:28,682
Chevron card buying groceries.

28
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,596
Tommy tore my cards up.

29
00:01:30,598 --> 00:01:32,794
Apparently, we can't afford
my obsession with shoes

30
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,191
now that we have to save up to get

31
00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:35,501
married because we have a kid.

32
00:01:35,503 --> 00:01:36,779
Yeah.

33
00:01:36,785 --> 00:01:39,271
Speaking of that, I'm totally
available to babysit...

34
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,806
If the baby's already asleep

35
00:01:40,808 --> 00:01:42,775
and you want to pay someone to watch TV.

36
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:49,482
Hey. Something's wrong with my phone.

37
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,151
Every time I call you, it goes
straight to my own voicemail.

38
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,486
Oh, no. That's right.

39
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,287
After I dropped Clark at your sister's,

40
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,443
I stopped at the phone store to
see about reducing our bill,

41
00:01:57,449 --> 00:01:59,925
and after a brief, but spirited,
discussion on roaming charges,

42
00:01:59,927 --> 00:02:01,393
I ended up canceling my phone

43
00:02:01,395 --> 00:02:03,594
and just had them forward
all my calls to yours.

44
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,999
Oh, and I bought a churro.

45
00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:06,565
I'm telling you that
'cause I feel guilty

46
00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:07,925
about having a dessert
when it's not the weekend.

47
00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:10,465
Wait, so, you're just not gonna
have a phone anymore?

48
00:02:10,471 --> 00:02:12,671
Well, sure I will.
We'll just share yours.

49
00:02:16,844 --> 00:02:18,878
- Hello?
- Is this Nikki Gooze?

50
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,412
- Who's calling?
- Is it for me?

51
00:02:20,414 --> 00:02:22,314
If it's a survey, don't hang up.
I actually enjoy those.

52
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,516
Shh.

53
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,342
This is Shyrell from
Colton Laboratories.

54
00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:26,745
We received your DNA sample and your

55
00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:28,144
cash, but you didn't fill in your...

56
00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:30,022
Yeah, um, actually, we're not interested

57
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,390
in a home renovation right now,

58
00:02:31,392 --> 00:02:34,059
so, um, thank you so much
for calling, though.

59
00:02:38,933 --> 00:02:42,051
Oh, also, we only get 15
texts per month now, so...

60
00:02:42,277 --> 00:02:43,910
Make 'em count.

61
00:02:44,238 --> 00:02:48,440
So, guys, I have a
little surprise for you.

62
00:02:48,442 --> 00:02:50,643
I was thinking, when we
come back in a few months,

63
00:02:50,645 --> 00:02:52,250
maybe we can get a house

64
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,926
on the beach, like Aunt Debbie.

65
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,151
This place looks awesome.

66
00:02:59,153 --> 00:03:01,287
Honey, what are you doing?

67
00:03:01,289 --> 00:03:03,289
A place like that... that's
gonna cost an arm and a leg.

68
00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:05,124
I'll figure it out. Don't worry.

69
00:03:05,126 --> 00:03:07,793
You married better
than these kids think.

70
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:15,267
Colton Laboratories. This is Shyrell.

71
00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:17,703
Hi. This is Nikki Gooze.
You just called.

72
00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:19,238
Do you, um, have my DNA results?

73
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,273
Sweetheart, we just got
your samples today.

74
00:03:21,275 --> 00:03:23,409
Results can take up to 12 weeks.

75
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:26,478
I was calling you because you
didn't fill in your address.

76
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,180
Yeah, that's because
I live with my fiancée,

77
00:03:28,182 --> 00:03:29,510
and he can't know I'm doing this.

78
00:03:29,516 --> 00:03:31,984
Okay, so, then, we should
call you with your results.

79
00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:34,987
You need to quit it.

80
00:03:34,989 --> 00:03:36,188
Hold on a sec.

81
00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:37,623
Hello?

82
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:38,891
Uh, is Tommy there?

83
00:03:38,893 --> 00:03:40,088
Can you call back in a few minutes?

84
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,294
Okay, but I was...

85
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:44,207
Okay, you can't call me. No. Yo...
you ha... in fact, you need to

86
00:03:44,213 --> 00:03:46,832
take this number out of your system.
Never call this number again.

87
00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:48,734
Okay, then, we will need an address.

88
00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,202
How about your work?

89
00:03:50,204 --> 00:03:53,239
Uh, work's no good. Let me think.

90
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,943
I swear to God, I will come over
there and punch your ass.

91
00:03:57,945 --> 00:03:59,378
That's right. Punch it.

92
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:02,214
I'd kick it, but my arms
are stronger than my legs.

93
00:04:02,216 --> 00:04:03,749
Oh, come on. You know I'm just playing.

94
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:05,517
Hey. Put a stamp on this, would you?

95
00:04:05,519 --> 00:04:07,274
Vivian didn't have
one, so I told her I'd

96
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,988
mail it for a dollar. Doubled our money.

97
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:10,573
Told you buying those forever stamps

98
00:04:10,579 --> 00:04:12,162
10 years ago was going to pay off.

99
00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,033
You know what?

100
00:04:16,039 --> 00:04:19,267
Send it to 638 Carp Lane.

101
00:04:21,802 --> 00:04:23,535
Hiiii.

102
00:04:23,537 --> 00:04:25,237
If you're tired of living in a tent,

103
00:04:25,239 --> 00:04:27,473
you can totally stay at my apartment.

104
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,675
Ah, thanks, but the tent's not that bad.

105
00:04:29,677 --> 00:04:30,992
And somebody keeps dropping off food

106
00:04:30,998 --> 00:04:32,344
in the morning, so, I mean, it's...

107
00:04:32,346 --> 00:04:34,480
Well, I have those pillows
that memorize your head

108
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,982
and a vegetable crisper
full of Red Bull.

109
00:04:40,174 --> 00:04:42,174
- I'm in.
- Okay.

110
00:04:42,897 --> 00:04:44,685
It's for you.

111
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,476
Hello?

112
00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,627
Yes, I was calling about
the house for rent.

113
00:04:48,629 --> 00:04:50,996
I was wondering if it's
available the week of, uh...

114
00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:53,432
I'm sorry. One second.
I'm getting a bad connection.

115
00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:55,245
I've got an echo.
I'm going to head outside.

116
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,435
Okay.

117
00:04:56,441 --> 00:04:58,934
He's gonna head outside.
He's getting a bad echo.

118
00:05:03,402 --> 00:05:04,902
As luck would have it,

119
00:05:04,908 --> 00:05:08,042
your house was available
the week we needed it.

120
00:05:08,127 --> 00:05:11,395
I just had to figure out
a way to pay for it,

121
00:05:11,413 --> 00:05:13,346
which meant pulling
double shifts at work

122
00:05:13,352 --> 00:05:14,819
for the next two months.

123
00:05:14,825 --> 00:05:16,955
And the plan was going
pretty smooth until one night,

124
00:05:16,957 --> 00:05:19,892
during the tail end of a double
shift, I was really tired,

125
00:05:19,894 --> 00:05:21,927
and I wasn't paying attention
to where I was walking...

126
00:05:23,243 --> 00:05:25,343
Whoa!

127
00:05:26,467 --> 00:05:29,068
... which led to a bit of an accident.

128
00:05:33,054 --> 00:05:35,570
Turns out, my wife was
wrong about your house.

129
00:05:35,576 --> 00:05:38,277
It didn't cost me an arm and a leg.

130
00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:42,290
Just a leg.

131
00:05:46,668 --> 00:05:49,491
You learn a lot of things
when you lose a limb.

132
00:05:49,497 --> 00:05:51,197
For one, you learn you don't just

133
00:05:51,203 --> 00:05:53,052
buy a prosthetic leg off the rack.

134
00:05:53,058 --> 00:05:54,520
They have to fit you for it, and

135
00:05:54,526 --> 00:05:56,169
it takes a few months to get made.

136
00:06:02,877 --> 00:06:05,443
You also learn that children get pretty

137
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:07,680
freaked out by a missing limb...

138
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:11,751
no matter how hard your wife
tries to make it fun for them.

139
00:06:11,757 --> 00:06:13,090
All right, kids.

140
00:06:13,096 --> 00:06:16,865
Who wants to meet Daddy's
new friend, Mr. Whiskers?

141
00:06:19,327 --> 00:06:20,893
You go.

142
00:06:20,895 --> 00:06:22,095
Go.

143
00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:33,919
And while they prescribe
anti-bacterial soap

144
00:06:33,925 --> 00:06:36,809
to help protect you from infection...

145
00:06:37,072 --> 00:06:38,497
You learn they don't prescribe

146
00:06:38,503 --> 00:06:40,207
anything to protect your feelings.

147
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,747
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

148
00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:46,173
It's the first time that
I've seen it naked.

149
00:06:46,855 --> 00:06:48,287
It's not that bad.

150
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,002
The next thing you learn
is that you don't

151
00:06:55,008 --> 00:06:56,375
get to pick your home nurse.

152
00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:58,277
That's good. That's good. Okay.

153
00:06:58,283 --> 00:06:59,382
Oh!

154
00:06:59,384 --> 00:07:02,020
Relax. Relax. Let me steer.

155
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:05,030
I am the captain now.

156
00:07:07,892 --> 00:07:09,859
That was from a movie with Tommy Hanks.

157
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,627
"I am the captain now."

158
00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:12,928
You see, there was a gentleman

159
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:14,864
who sounded like me who was a pirate,

160
00:07:14,866 --> 00:07:17,433
and when he took charge
of Tommy Hanks' boat,

161
00:07:17,435 --> 00:07:18,868
he looked at him and he said...

162
00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:21,170
"I am the captain now."
Yeah. I saw the movie.

163
00:07:21,172 --> 00:07:22,805
Yeah, we saw it.

164
00:07:22,807 --> 00:07:24,776
Then, you learn you can't even

165
00:07:24,782 --> 00:07:26,876
sleep in your own bed anymore.

166
00:07:26,878 --> 00:07:28,811
Oh, Mike!

167
00:07:28,813 --> 00:07:31,080
Oh, it touched me again.

168
00:07:31,082 --> 00:07:32,581
The stump... It poked through

169
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:33,825
the pillow barrier, and it touched me.

170
00:07:33,831 --> 00:07:35,342
What the hell do you want me to do?!

171
00:07:35,348 --> 00:07:36,462
I thought you were gonna wear

172
00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:37,820
the kitty-cat cozy that I made for you.

173
00:07:37,822 --> 00:07:40,623
When I wear Mr. Whiskers,
my stump gets hot, it sweats,

174
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:42,625
and you complain it smells
like old mayonnaise.

175
00:07:42,627 --> 00:07:45,261
Pick your poison, Lisa.
Pick your poison!

176
00:07:46,697 --> 00:07:48,130
Mayonnaise.

177
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:52,034
But the worst thing was the boredom.

178
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,620
The days turned into weeks,

179
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:55,438
the weeks turned into months,

180
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,832
and before you know it,

181
00:07:56,838 --> 00:07:58,532
we lose all track of time.

182
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,435
Lisa!

183
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:06,976
Why are you yelling?

184
00:08:06,982 --> 00:08:08,748
Why aren't we at the beach?

185
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,772
We were supposed to start using
the house three days ago.

186
00:08:10,778 --> 00:08:13,155
I just figured with
everything going on...

187
00:08:13,157 --> 00:08:15,258
Mike, I mean, you haven't
left the house all summer.

188
00:08:15,264 --> 00:08:18,461
I lost 9 inches of my leg
for a week in that house, Lisa!

189
00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:21,497
Every day we don't use it
is 1.3 inches of flesh

190
00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:22,765
I lost for nothing.

191
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:24,974
I lost an ankle for nothing!

192
00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:27,670
Kids, pack your shit!

193
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:29,071
We're going to the beach!

194
00:08:30,174 --> 00:08:33,309
Good morning. Oh, wonderful.
You're off the chair.

195
00:08:33,311 --> 00:08:35,845
I'll take this opportunity
to Febreze the cushions.

196
00:08:35,847 --> 00:08:37,179
We're going to the beach!

197
00:08:37,181 --> 00:08:38,573
Splendid. The salt water is

198
00:08:38,579 --> 00:08:40,378
actually good for healing wounds.

199
00:08:40,384 --> 00:08:43,385
You hear that, Lisa?
Maybe my leg will grow back!

200
00:08:43,387 --> 00:08:45,002
Perhaps it will!

201
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,957
That will never happen.

202
00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:49,358
But they told us in nursing school

203
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,550
that optimism has been clinically proven

204
00:08:51,556 --> 00:08:54,143
aster get a patient back
on their feet... foot.

205
00:08:55,984 --> 00:08:57,483
Every second I wasn't

206
00:08:57,489 --> 00:08:59,189
in your rental house,
I was losing money.

207
00:08:59,195 --> 00:09:01,884
So we packed up the wagon
and hauled ass to the beach.

208
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,091
Yes!

209
00:09:24,023 --> 00:09:25,297
Vivian?

210
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:28,100
Vivian?

211
00:09:28,608 --> 00:09:29,907
Yeah?

212
00:09:29,913 --> 00:09:31,780
Look what I found in the bathroom.

213
00:09:32,547 --> 00:09:33,879
What is that?!

214
00:09:33,885 --> 00:09:36,419
It's a camera in a tissue box.

215
00:09:52,103 --> 00:09:54,466
Where did you get this tissue box?

216
00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:57,387
Um, I... I think that I got it

217
00:09:57,393 --> 00:10:00,042
at the drug store over on Maple.

218
00:10:00,044 --> 00:10:01,912
Some creep at the drug store

219
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,984
must be putting cameras in tissue boxes

220
00:10:03,986 --> 00:10:06,387
so he can watch women
shower from his computer.

221
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:07,922
- What?
- Yeah.

222
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,757
We should go down to that drug store

223
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:12,822
and buy all the tissue boxes so
that no other women have to...

224
00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:14,228
Do I smell Hot Pockets?

225
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:15,329
Oh. Yeah.

226
00:10:15,518 --> 00:10:17,451
Bacon and cheddar... Your favorite.

227
00:10:17,457 --> 00:10:19,858
I'm cooking them in the oven
because you said the microwave

228
00:10:19,864 --> 00:10:21,563
doesn't crust them up like you like.

229
00:10:21,569 --> 00:10:22,835
And... and if that doesn't work,

230
00:10:22,837 --> 00:10:24,737
I can start experimenting with basting.

231
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:28,141
- Wow. Vivian, you're the best.
- Oh.

232
00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:29,335
I don't know how I'm ever gonna

233
00:10:29,341 --> 00:10:30,762
repay you for letting me stay here.

234
00:10:30,768 --> 00:10:34,654
Well, I'm sure we'll think of something.

235
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:36,871
In the meantime, why don't
you give me this camera,

236
00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:39,752
and I'm gonna make a formal complaint.

237
00:10:39,754 --> 00:10:41,854
You know what? I've got a better idea.

238
00:10:41,856 --> 00:10:43,356
I'm going to put this
back in the bathroom,

239
00:10:43,358 --> 00:10:46,359
stand right in front of
it, and jerk off. Yeah.

240
00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:47,860
Let's give that drug-store creep

241
00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,796
a whole lot more than he bargained for.

242
00:10:58,473 --> 00:11:00,306
Oh, yeah.

243
00:11:04,312 --> 00:11:06,946
Hey. Hey! There's lotion under the sink!

244
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:13,579
Anyway, my point in writing
all of this is that

245
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,528
you should think about
lowering your rental

246
00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:17,435
price, so an average
family of four can go

247
00:11:17,441 --> 00:11:19,292
on a nice vacation
without losing a limb.

248
00:11:19,294 --> 00:11:21,678
That's right. I blame you.

249
00:11:21,837 --> 00:11:23,003
Mike.

250
00:11:29,037 --> 00:11:31,337
That's not funny!

251
00:11:31,339 --> 00:11:34,307
Oh, come on. They're just having fun.

252
00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:36,342
Look at the little seashells
they used as toenails.

253
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:37,877
Tell me that doesn't make you smile.

254
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,780
You think this is funny?!

255
00:11:40,782 --> 00:11:42,048
I'm crippled!

256
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:43,416
Why don't you go tell your parents

257
00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:44,784
you made fun of a cripple,
you little pricks?!

258
00:11:44,786 --> 00:11:46,486
Go on! Get!

259
00:11:50,859 --> 00:11:55,346
Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.
Hot. Hot! Hot! Hot!

260
00:11:55,352 --> 00:11:57,396
Maybe the kids can all sleep
over at my place tonight.

261
00:11:57,398 --> 00:12:01,082
Mike seems like he could use
a break... or a blowjob.

262
00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:03,035
Thanks.

263
00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:08,808
Mike?

264
00:12:14,015 --> 00:12:15,882
Mike?! Where are you going?!

265
00:12:15,884 --> 00:12:17,650
I'm going home. The sand is too hot.

266
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:21,220
People keep staring at me.
This was a stupid idea.

267
00:12:21,222 --> 00:12:23,089
Wait, you're just gonna leave us here?

268
00:12:23,091 --> 00:12:25,258
You're acting insane!

269
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:28,528
Insane?! I'm acting like a guy
who lost his leg, Lisa!

270
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:31,247
Trust me. You have no idea

271
00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:34,805
what it's like to be in my shoe!

272
00:12:37,171 --> 00:12:38,779
The second we get back to the house,

273
00:12:38,785 --> 00:12:40,373
I'm checking these things for cameras.

274
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:41,841
Good idea.

275
00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:43,376
You know, we should probably

276
00:12:43,378 --> 00:12:45,344
also check each other for cameras.

277
00:12:45,346 --> 00:12:47,613
You know, kind of like
how, after you go hiking,

278
00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:49,048
you check for ticks.

279
00:12:51,411 --> 00:12:52,556
Eddie?!

280
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,350
I got to go.

281
00:12:55,356 --> 00:12:57,590
Buddy. Where have you been?

282
00:12:57,592 --> 00:13:00,192
If you've been hiding,
you don't have to.

283
00:13:00,194 --> 00:13:03,362
I'm not pissed that you
burned down my van/home.

284
00:13:03,364 --> 00:13:04,964
I know it was an accident.

285
00:13:04,966 --> 00:13:07,099
I'm not gonna kick your ass.

286
00:13:07,101 --> 00:13:09,135
Okay, uh, first of all, I'm pretty sure

287
00:13:09,137 --> 00:13:10,536
I could beat the shit out of you,

288
00:13:10,538 --> 00:13:12,438
but let's put a pin in
that for the moment.

289
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,074
I was hoping the next time I
saw you, I would be finished.

290
00:13:15,076 --> 00:13:16,509
Finished with what?

291
00:13:19,914 --> 00:13:22,682
I got it from a yard sale of sorts.

292
00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:24,684
Basically, I saw it
sitting in someone's yard

293
00:13:24,686 --> 00:13:26,319
and I asked if it was for sale.

294
00:13:30,358 --> 00:13:33,359
I tried to replace all the
stuff that was inside.

295
00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:35,561
Here's a new action figure.

296
00:13:35,563 --> 00:13:36,996
Handsome Man.

297
00:13:36,998 --> 00:13:38,497
I made his gi flame-retardant,

298
00:13:38,499 --> 00:13:41,925
so, God forbid, he doesn't
die the same way twice.

299
00:13:43,204 --> 00:13:45,171
I don't know what to say.

300
00:13:45,173 --> 00:13:47,406
I can't believe you did this.

301
00:13:47,408 --> 00:13:48,808
Well, I had to, man.

302
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:50,543
My substandard joint extinguishment

303
00:13:50,545 --> 00:13:52,178
destroyed your van/home.

304
00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:53,980
I would never blame you for that!

305
00:13:53,982 --> 00:13:56,952
Well, I know. That's why I had to do it.

306
00:14:01,856 --> 00:14:03,789
Were you the one who
was leaving the food

307
00:14:03,791 --> 00:14:05,992
outside my tent on the beach?

308
00:14:05,994 --> 00:14:08,661
I didn't want you to be hungry.

309
00:14:08,663 --> 00:14:10,196
Thanks.

310
00:14:10,198 --> 00:14:11,754
But for the record,

311
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,199
I like my peanut butter
smooth, not crunchy.

312
00:14:15,436 --> 00:14:17,703
I wish I would have known that!

313
00:14:35,089 --> 00:14:36,609
God damn it!

314
00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:39,458
I left my credit card at the beach.

315
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:40,893
Let's go.

316
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:49,446
Keep it running? Yeah.

317
00:14:58,391 --> 00:15:00,825
Lisa!

318
00:15:00,982 --> 00:15:03,916
Shit. Mike! This is nothing!

319
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:07,453
I had too many beers, and he
let me cry on his shoulder.

320
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:10,122
And then, we just...
We smoked a little hash,

321
00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:13,092
and we watched a little
porn on his phone,

322
00:15:13,094 --> 00:15:15,294
and then, this just happened!

323
00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:19,500
Mike! Mike!

324
00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:21,167
Mike, wait!

325
00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:23,729
Oh, my God. What did I do?

326
00:15:23,735 --> 00:15:25,304
What did I do?

327
00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:28,441
This is not your fault. I am to blame.

328
00:15:28,443 --> 00:15:31,243
Sometimes, I can't control
my desire to comfort.

329
00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:32,978
No, you need to leave.

330
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:34,346
Are you sure?

331
00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:36,115
Because I believe the orgasm count

332
00:15:36,117 --> 00:15:38,340
is Lisa: 1, Kwame: 0.

333
00:15:38,346 --> 00:15:40,318
Don't we think should even things out...

334
00:15:40,324 --> 00:15:41,371
No.

335
00:15:41,377 --> 00:15:43,177
- Huh?
- No.

336
00:16:55,522 --> 00:16:58,456
Perspective is an interesting thing.

337
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,134
And sometimes, to truly understand

338
00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,535
why someone does the things they do,

339
00:17:02,541 --> 00:17:04,564
you need to imagine what
would have happened

340
00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:06,885
if the shoe wasn't on the other foot.

341
00:17:16,364 --> 00:17:18,998
Instead of being wrapped up
in your own problems,

342
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,733
you need to consider what other people

343
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,067
might be going through...

344
00:17:25,773 --> 00:17:27,606
...the things they're
having to deal with...

345
00:17:27,608 --> 00:17:29,675
Sorry.

346
00:17:29,677 --> 00:17:32,177
... and how you might
not be the only person

347
00:17:32,179 --> 00:17:34,842
trying to cope with a shitty situation.

348
00:17:38,419 --> 00:17:41,053
Ooh! Lisa! No, your
stump touched me again!

349
00:17:41,055 --> 00:17:42,955
You're gonna have to pick
your poison, Mike!

350
00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:44,723
Pants?

351
00:17:44,725 --> 00:17:47,693
I lost 9 inches of my leg
for that beach house, Mike.

352
00:17:49,997 --> 00:17:52,064
Pack your shit! We're
going to the beach!

353
00:17:55,336 --> 00:17:57,002
Hey, that's not funny.

354
00:17:57,004 --> 00:17:59,471
I'm acting like a woman
who lost her leg, Mike!

355
00:18:00,642 --> 00:18:03,108
You have no idea what it's
like to be in my shoe!

356
00:18:04,745 --> 00:18:07,980
And when we're hurting,
stressed, and vulnerable,

357
00:18:07,982 --> 00:18:10,215
we're all capable of making decisions

358
00:18:10,217 --> 00:18:11,656
that we might later regret.

359
00:18:13,354 --> 00:18:14,687
Mike?

360
00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:15,955
Oh, shit. No, no, no, no.

361
00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:17,790
This isn't what it looks like.

362
00:18:22,964 --> 00:18:24,797
So, I'm sure you have a good reason

363
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,332
why you charge the rent you charge

364
00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:27,680
for your beach house.

365
00:18:27,686 --> 00:18:29,453
And if I was in your situation,

366
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:30,992
I might do the same.

367
00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:33,581
I apologize for what I wrote earlier...

368
00:18:33,798 --> 00:18:35,836
Your pal, Mike.

369
00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:38,544
Mike.

370
00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:40,446
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

371
00:18:40,448 --> 00:18:42,114
I understand.

372
00:18:42,116 --> 00:18:43,983
- You do?
- Yes.

373
00:18:46,587 --> 00:18:49,621
I've been so focused on
what I was going through,

374
00:18:49,623 --> 00:18:52,558
I didn't realize what
you were going through.

375
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,150
I know this hasn't been
easy on you, either.

376
00:18:56,639 --> 00:18:58,190
I forgive you.

377
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,126
Oh. I... I should brush my teeth first.

378
00:19:02,771 --> 00:19:04,437
I think I blew Kwame.

379
00:19:04,638 --> 00:19:05,871
I appreciate that.

380
00:19:08,342 --> 00:19:10,109
? Walk a mile in my shoe ?

381
00:19:10,111 --> 00:19:12,378
Hey!

382
00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:16,782
? Walk a mile in my sho-o-oe ?

383
00:19:16,784 --> 00:19:20,652
? Before you abuse,
criticize, and accuse ?

384
00:19:20,654 --> 00:19:24,433
? Walk a mile in my shoe ?

385
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:29,528
? Now, your whole world
you see around you ?

386
00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:32,743
? Is just a reflection ?

387
00:19:34,135 --> 00:19:35,968
? And the law of karma ?

388
00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:40,648
? Says you're gonna reap
just what you sow ?

389
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:45,811
- ? So, unless you've lived a life ?
- Hey!

390
00:19:45,813 --> 00:19:48,881
? Of total perfection ?

391
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,783
She's stealing my mail!

392
00:19:50,785 --> 00:19:52,851
? You'd better be careful ?

393
00:19:52,853 --> 00:19:57,101
? Of every stone that you should throw ?

394
00:19:59,026 --> 00:20:00,993
? And yet we spend the day ?

395
00:20:00,995 --> 00:20:05,174
? Throwing stones at one another ?

396
00:20:07,234 --> 00:20:10,042
? 'Cause I don't think or wear ?

397
00:20:10,048 --> 00:20:14,344
? my hair the same way you do ?

398
00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:19,578
? Yeah, well, I may be common people ?

399
00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:21,914
? But I'm still your sister ?

400
00:20:24,018 --> 00:20:28,087
? When you strike out
and try to hurt me ?

401
00:20:28,089 --> 00:20:31,523
? It's hurting you ?

402
00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:35,694
? Walk a mile in my shoes ?

403
00:20:35,696 --> 00:20:40,199
? Walk a mile in my shoes ?

404
00:20:40,201 --> 00:20:44,269
? Before you abuse,
criticize, and accuse ?

405
00:20:44,271 --> 00:20:48,006
? Walk a mile in my shoes ?

406
00:20:48,008 --> 00:20:49,708
Woman: Hey, Clem. It's me.

407
00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:51,310
We're renting a beach
house this weekend,

408
00:20:51,312 --> 00:20:52,945
and we'd love to see you.

409
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,481
Maybe you can bring that
girl we've heard about.

410
00:20:55,487 --> 00:21:00,513
_

411
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:06,502
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

