1 00:00:03,952 --> 00:00:05,052 Okay. Okay. Okay. 2 00:00:05,086 --> 00:00:06,553 Let's do sophomore year high school. 3 00:00:06,601 --> 00:00:08,823 - Nathan Burlingame. - Didn't like you. 4 00:00:08,825 --> 00:00:10,958 Huh. Kylie Mansard. 5 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,772 Thought you were cool but intimidating. 6 00:00:12,803 --> 00:00:15,771 No way. I thought she was intimidating. 7 00:00:15,773 --> 00:00:17,940 That's why I shoved her into that creek. 8 00:00:17,942 --> 00:00:20,409 Well, after my chili episode, 9 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,745 I asked the administration for a one-year sabbatical 10 00:00:22,747 --> 00:00:24,012 and, good news, 11 00:00:24,014 --> 00:00:25,681 they fired me. 12 00:00:25,683 --> 00:00:28,984 So I am free and easy. 13 00:00:28,986 --> 00:00:30,686 Well, the rest of the Soul Squad 14 00:00:30,688 --> 00:00:32,354 is off helping Jason's dad. 15 00:00:32,356 --> 00:00:34,022 Who are we saving? 16 00:00:34,024 --> 00:00:36,291 No one from my high school, I will tell you that much. 17 00:00:36,293 --> 00:00:38,927 Well, before we do anything, 18 00:00:38,929 --> 00:00:41,029 I have to break things off with Simone. 19 00:00:41,031 --> 00:00:42,865 If I slip up and tell her about the universe, 20 00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:44,700 it could doom her for eternity, 21 00:00:44,702 --> 00:00:46,802 and I've avoided talking to her for so long, 22 00:00:46,804 --> 00:00:48,937 she assumed I had laryngitis, and it went too far, 23 00:00:48,939 --> 00:00:51,707 - and now I'm on antibiotics. - Okay, settle down. 24 00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:53,995 Your moral code means you can't lie, right? 25 00:00:54,845 --> 00:00:56,945 You need to just ghost her. Disappear. 26 00:00:56,947 --> 00:00:59,648 Block her number. Bonus, anything she left 27 00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:01,450 in your apartment now legally belongs to you. 28 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,718 I've done that to dozens of people, 29 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,620 and all of them got over it. 30 00:01:04,622 --> 00:01:06,688 Actually, none of your exes have ever gotten over you. 31 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:08,357 You're damn right they didn't. 32 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,559 I just wish I could end things in a way 33 00:01:10,561 --> 00:01:12,394 that I knew wouldn't hurt her. 34 00:01:12,396 --> 00:01:13,695 Bing! 35 00:01:14,565 --> 00:01:15,964 I usually appear out of thin air 36 00:01:15,966 --> 00:01:17,866 and there would be a pleasant bing sound, 37 00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:21,470 but I don't have my powers, so I'm doing my own bings now. 38 00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,338 Bing! 39 00:01:24,074 --> 00:01:26,742 Chidi, what if I could create a virtual reality simulation 40 00:01:26,744 --> 00:01:28,811 where you could practice different breakup scenarios? 41 00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:30,646 - You can do that? - I think so. 42 00:01:30,648 --> 00:01:32,881 I do know everything about you and Simone 43 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:35,083 and computer programming and virtual reality 44 00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:36,819 and artificial intelligence and the human brain 45 00:01:36,821 --> 00:01:37,920 and everything else. 46 00:01:37,922 --> 00:01:39,488 I'm kind of a nerd. 47 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,523 I'll start building the simulator now. 48 00:01:41,525 --> 00:01:42,991 Bing! 49 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:49,565 Don't... Turn around. 50 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,767 It's embarrassing. 51 00:01:51,769 --> 00:01:53,083 Bing. 52 00:01:53,138 --> 00:01:57,919 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:02,346 --> 00:02:05,447 Jacksonville, what up? 54 00:02:05,449 --> 00:02:09,451 - Duval! - Duval! 55 00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:11,019 Poor Larry. 56 00:02:11,021 --> 00:02:12,754 But... 57 00:02:12,756 --> 00:02:16,058 "If you love someone set them free." 58 00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:18,026 My good friend and yoga pupil Sting, 59 00:02:18,028 --> 00:02:20,095 no last initial, told me that. 60 00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:21,530 I can't wait to show you guys 61 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:23,031 all the cool sites in Jacksonville. 62 00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:26,368 Like, that swamp is where me, Pillboi, and Donkey Doug 63 00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:27,970 used to stand and try and blind pilots 64 00:02:27,972 --> 00:02:29,571 with laser pointers, and... 65 00:02:29,573 --> 00:02:32,040 Maybe we should do the tour after we, 66 00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:34,710 you know, save your father's soul. 67 00:02:34,712 --> 00:02:36,144 Oh, I've been meaning to ask. 68 00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:37,980 Why are you trying to save your father? 69 00:02:37,982 --> 00:02:41,116 I've heard you mention your friend Pillboi many times, 70 00:02:41,118 --> 00:02:42,951 but you've not mentioned your father once. 71 00:02:42,953 --> 00:02:44,386 What do you mean? 72 00:02:44,388 --> 00:02:46,421 I talk about Donkey Doug all the time. 73 00:02:49,894 --> 00:02:52,594 I'm sorry. The man you call 74 00:02:52,596 --> 00:02:54,997 Donkey Doug is your father? 75 00:02:54,999 --> 00:02:56,498 Yeah. 76 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,966 The Donkey Doug with whom you tried 77 00:02:57,968 --> 00:03:00,669 to blind airline pilots with laser pointers? 78 00:03:00,671 --> 00:03:02,905 - Yeah. - The Donkey Doug who's banned 79 00:03:02,907 --> 00:03:06,074 from Disney World for biting Buzz Lightyear? 80 00:03:06,076 --> 00:03:08,710 In his defense, he thought it was someone else. 81 00:03:09,914 --> 00:03:11,613 Who? 82 00:03:11,615 --> 00:03:14,750 So Michael and I have a plan to save my dad. 83 00:03:14,752 --> 00:03:17,653 My whole life, Donkey Doug was always getting in trouble 84 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,522 because of some get-rich-quick scheme. 85 00:03:20,524 --> 00:03:22,157 He sold counterfeit truck nuts. 86 00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:24,426 He created a sport that was a cross between 87 00:03:24,428 --> 00:03:26,929 dodgeball and horseshoes and everybody died. 88 00:03:26,931 --> 00:03:28,931 - He glued... - This should be easy. 89 00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:30,832 We have plenty of money. 90 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,135 If we just give him money, he'll blow it. 91 00:03:33,137 --> 00:03:35,170 He's gotta feel like he did it himself. 92 00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:37,773 A few years ago, Donkey Doug was very close 93 00:03:37,775 --> 00:03:39,775 to getting his electrician's license. 94 00:03:39,777 --> 00:03:42,177 So if we get him to finish the training, 95 00:03:42,179 --> 00:03:44,146 he can earn an honest living and be on his way 96 00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,181 to getting more Good Place points, 97 00:03:46,183 --> 00:03:48,650 which is why we're all here. 98 00:03:48,652 --> 00:03:51,486 Okay, let's go save my dad. 99 00:03:51,488 --> 00:03:53,155 Taxi! 100 00:03:58,662 --> 00:04:00,829 - Ha! - Need help with your bags? 101 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,097 Nah, I got it. 102 00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:08,804 - Oh, damn, Jason! - Oh, dude, Donkey Doug! 103 00:04:08,806 --> 00:04:11,039 You call him Donkey Doug in person? 104 00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,507 Me and Jason are cool like that. 105 00:04:12,509 --> 00:04:14,076 I don't think of him as my son. 106 00:04:14,078 --> 00:04:16,645 I think of him as my boy! 107 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:19,081 I mean, I am your boy. 108 00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,582 Yeah, but it's more like, 109 00:04:20,584 --> 00:04:22,150 "That's my son right there, son." 110 00:04:22,152 --> 00:04:24,853 But not like, "Son, son." 111 00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:27,255 But like, "My boy." But not like... 112 00:04:27,257 --> 00:04:29,157 Yes, yes, we get it. Thank you. 113 00:04:29,159 --> 00:04:31,593 Oh, this is my friend Michael. 114 00:04:31,595 --> 00:04:33,495 Oh, crap. You look like a cop. 115 00:04:33,497 --> 00:04:35,263 Are you a cop? Because if you are, 116 00:04:35,265 --> 00:04:36,865 you have to tell me, and you're not allowed 117 00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:38,166 to arrest me for anything you saw 118 00:04:38,168 --> 00:04:40,235 before I knew you were a cop. 119 00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:43,205 - I-I'm not a police officer. - Yeah, Michael's cool. 120 00:04:43,207 --> 00:04:46,074 And this is Tahani, who is my wife, I guess. 121 00:04:46,076 --> 00:04:48,677 Dang, nice pull, son! 122 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,212 How about you and me go check out my Jacuzzi 123 00:04:50,214 --> 00:04:52,080 and put stuff in each other? 124 00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:54,583 Again, I'm his wife. 125 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:58,086 Wow, that's the first time that line has ever failed. 126 00:04:58,088 --> 00:05:00,188 You must really love him. 127 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:03,191 Welcome to the family! Come on in! 128 00:05:03,193 --> 00:05:04,793 This program knows everything about 129 00:05:04,795 --> 00:05:06,895 your personality, Simone's personality, 130 00:05:06,897 --> 00:05:08,697 and all human relationships. 131 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,966 It can't tell you exactly what will happen, 132 00:05:10,968 --> 00:05:12,734 but it will approximate Simone's reaction 133 00:05:12,736 --> 00:05:13,969 to anything you say to her. 134 00:05:13,971 --> 00:05:16,605 Plus, it has Tetris. 135 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:19,207 Hmm, would this work with, say, me 136 00:05:19,209 --> 00:05:20,909 and, say, Jason Statham 137 00:05:20,911 --> 00:05:23,712 and instead of a café, it was, say, 138 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,882 a room with a futon and a bunch of Red Bull? 139 00:05:26,884 --> 00:05:29,051 Why is it that every time a new thing is invented, 140 00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:31,820 humans immediately try to use it for porn? 141 00:05:31,822 --> 00:05:33,655 - Because we're disgusting. - Huh. 142 00:05:33,657 --> 00:05:35,223 Eleanor and I will be watching on the monitor. 143 00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:37,726 We'll see what you see. Put these in your ears. 144 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,061 They'll play a tone that will trick your brain 145 00:05:39,063 --> 00:05:41,129 into seeing what I've programmed. 146 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,733 Ah... 147 00:05:45,903 --> 00:05:48,804 Wow, so this is... 148 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,606 - I'm here. - Hey, babe. 149 00:05:51,608 --> 00:05:53,241 What did you want to talk about? 150 00:05:53,243 --> 00:05:55,333 Go ahead, Chidi, practice what you want to say to her. 151 00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:56,755 Right. Um... 152 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,580 Simone, this has been the best year 153 00:05:58,582 --> 00:06:00,248 of my life because of you. 154 00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:04,619 Unfortunately, I have come to learn some information, 155 00:06:04,621 --> 00:06:08,757 and it means that we have to end this relationship. 156 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,859 - What information? - I... 157 00:06:10,861 --> 00:06:12,961 - can't say. - Why not? 158 00:06:12,963 --> 00:06:14,963 I-I can't say. 159 00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:16,865 Well, you've either gone crazy, 160 00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:18,300 or you're too much of a coward to tell me how you feel. 161 00:06:18,302 --> 00:06:21,803 - Which is it? - I-I can't because of... 162 00:06:21,805 --> 00:06:23,939 - Janet! - Who's Janet? 163 00:06:23,941 --> 00:06:25,674 And why are you screaming her name into the sky? 164 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,008 You know what? Whatever. 165 00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:29,644 - Good-bye, Chidi. - No. No. No. Wait... 166 00:06:29,646 --> 00:06:32,147 So... 167 00:06:32,149 --> 00:06:34,216 - that didn't go great. - I disagree. 168 00:06:34,218 --> 00:06:36,184 I thought it was hilarious. 169 00:06:36,186 --> 00:06:39,121 So, Donkey Doug, Jason told us about 170 00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:41,056 your electrician license, and we have 171 00:06:41,058 --> 00:06:42,891 a career opportunity for you. 172 00:06:42,893 --> 00:06:44,693 Yo, later for that. 173 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,696 I got a business proposition for you. 174 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:49,364 Pillboi! 175 00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:53,301 - Oh, dip! Jason! - Oh, dip! Pillboi! 176 00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:55,837 - Oh, dip! Pillboi! - Oh, dip! Donkey Doug! 177 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,839 - Oh, dip! Jason! - This is remarkable. 178 00:06:57,841 --> 00:07:00,408 - It explains so much. - Oh, dip! Pillboi! 179 00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:01,910 Jason, I thought you were dead. 180 00:07:01,912 --> 00:07:04,045 But I was alive. I was in Australia. 181 00:07:04,047 --> 00:07:05,413 I talked to you on the phone last week. 182 00:07:05,415 --> 00:07:08,049 - Yeah, but I forgot. - Oh. 183 00:07:08,051 --> 00:07:10,085 Me and Pillboi have been cooking up 184 00:07:10,087 --> 00:07:12,087 something real special. 185 00:07:12,089 --> 00:07:14,856 And this time, it's not fake meth. 186 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,261 All right, Pillboi, tell him about our new product. 187 00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,429 Sharks, how much do you spend on 188 00:07:21,431 --> 00:07:24,065 energy drinks and body spray in one week? 189 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,333 Three hundred dollars? 190 00:07:25,335 --> 00:07:27,002 Ten hundred dollars? 191 00:07:27,004 --> 00:07:28,703 What if I told you there was a product 192 00:07:28,705 --> 00:07:32,340 that combined these two things for one solution 193 00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:35,844 to all of life's problems and more? 194 00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,346 I give to you Double Trouble! 195 00:07:38,348 --> 00:07:42,184 The world's first energy drink/body spray. 196 00:07:42,186 --> 00:07:44,752 So do you spray it on yourself, 197 00:07:44,777 --> 00:07:46,021 or do you drink it? 198 00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:48,690 - You both it. - This is the one, Jason. 199 00:07:48,692 --> 00:07:50,692 We're gonna be so rich. 200 00:07:50,694 --> 00:07:52,194 I'll finally be able to pay to have 201 00:07:52,196 --> 00:07:55,030 my calf implants moved back up from my feet. 202 00:07:55,032 --> 00:07:56,865 This is gonna be a lot tougher than we thought. 203 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,466 Tell me about it. 204 00:07:58,468 --> 00:08:00,902 Double Trouble sounds amazing. We should bid fast. 205 00:08:00,904 --> 00:08:02,771 The other sharks are gonna want in. 206 00:08:05,175 --> 00:08:08,808 So I just have to be simple, honest, and declarative 207 00:08:08,847 --> 00:08:10,981 and somehow still protect her feelings. 208 00:08:10,983 --> 00:08:12,282 I don't know, man. 209 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,544 Maybe just tell her that you're gay. 210 00:08:13,569 --> 00:08:15,676 - I'm not gay. - Fine, bi. 211 00:08:15,708 --> 00:08:17,550 - I'm not bi either. - Why not? 212 00:08:17,575 --> 00:08:19,876 More guys should be bi. It's 2018. 213 00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:21,745 It's like, get over yourselves. 214 00:08:21,747 --> 00:08:23,747 Is there any way I can try 215 00:08:23,749 --> 00:08:26,011 a bunch of different things in a row 216 00:08:26,051 --> 00:08:27,584 - to see what works? - Bing. 217 00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:30,214 Sure, if you want to reset, just snap your fingers. 218 00:08:30,239 --> 00:08:32,741 Also, I made some modifications to the tone, 219 00:08:32,757 --> 00:08:34,590 so it should make your transition easier. 220 00:08:34,592 --> 00:08:36,092 Oh. 221 00:08:39,097 --> 00:08:41,563 Mm! 222 00:08:41,866 --> 00:08:44,149 Hey, babe. 223 00:08:44,313 --> 00:08:45,579 What did you want to talk about? 224 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,743 Well, I don't love you anymore. 225 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:50,595 - What? - No, no. You don't understand. 226 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:54,666 I don't technically love you in the same way 227 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,335 because of circumstances. 228 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,770 What? 229 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,439 Hang on. 230 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,375 I don't know how to tell you this, 231 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,544 but I'm dying. 232 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,546 - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. 233 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:10,515 Because we're all dying slowly, when you think about it. 234 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,017 We start dying the moment we're born. 235 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,085 So not a lie. 236 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,790 Okay, here it is. 237 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,926 I'm just gonna be perfectly honest. 238 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:25,697 My real name is Special Agent Rick Justice, FBI. 239 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,700 Nope. 240 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,836 Simone... 241 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:33,038 the last year has been 242 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,708 truly amazing, and with that in mind... 243 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:42,547 - Will you marry me? - Yes! Yes! 244 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,649 Of course I will! Oh! 245 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:47,686 Wait, what am I doing? 246 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,688 Why did I think this would work? 247 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,590 Chidi, I'm gonna go ahead and reboot this one myself. 248 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,891 Yeah, good call. 249 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,993 - So, Simone... - Wait. 250 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,862 Before you say anything, 251 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,097 - I think we should break up. - You do? 252 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,099 Yes, I love and respect you very much, 253 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,702 but we're heading in different directions. 254 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,071 And don't worry, we don't have to make a big thing of it. 255 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,073 Oh, my God. Okay. This is the one. 256 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,608 Remember everything. Right leg crossed over left. 257 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,076 Coffee's right there. 258 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:14,579 Oh, one more thing. Suck it, you doink. 259 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,181 Sorry? 260 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,583 This is Eleanor, you idiot. 261 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:19,851 Janet let me mess with the simulator 262 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,019 to screw with you. 263 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,754 - Janet, come on! - Hi, Chidi. 264 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:25,524 This is Janet now. Sorry, it won't happen again. 265 00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:27,592 - Thank you. - Psych! It's still Eleanor! 266 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,095 I can't believe you fell for that, you doink. 267 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,599 We need to break up, but here's a puppy. 268 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,468 Aw! Wait, what? 269 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,869 He's a puppy, it's over between us, 270 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,437 and he's cute. 271 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,906 Do you think I don't hear the bad parts 272 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,440 - of these sentences? - His name is Martin, 273 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,744 I need my keys back, and he's a puppy. 274 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,646 You are very bad at this. 275 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,114 That's because I don't actually want 276 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,782 - to break up with her. - What, do you need me 277 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,217 to break up with her for you 278 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,618 like we're in middle school or something? 279 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,987 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, please. 280 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,956 - Do that for me. Please. - Fine. 281 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,960 Hey, Eleanor. 282 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,261 Hey. 283 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,930 What did you want to talk about? 284 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,998 Well, first of all, you and Chidi 285 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,266 are so great together. 286 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,569 He really loves you, and I can see why. 287 00:11:10,571 --> 00:11:13,572 You know, you're brilliant, charming, obviously gorgeous. 288 00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:16,374 - Aw, you're sweet to say that. - And your accent is so cute. 289 00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:17,884 Your accent is so cute. 290 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,178 What? I don't think I have an accent. 291 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,047 I don't think I have an accent. 292 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,181 Stop it! 293 00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:34,259 What is happening? 294 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,129 No! No. This is over. 295 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,965 Whoa, man, come on. It was just getting good. 296 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,967 Let's remember the mission. 297 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:46,805 Your father needs to focus on long-term stability. 298 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,140 Also, and perhaps this is less important, 299 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:52,110 but there's an awful lot of dog hair on the furniture, 300 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,312 and I have not seen a dog. 301 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,247 Not bad, right? 302 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,284 Double Trouble comes in three delicious smell-flavors: 303 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,787 Raspberry Perspirant, Cedarwood Melon Blast, 304 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:06,124 and 24-Hour Lemon Musk Xtreme. 305 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,393 That one is also a lube. 306 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,663 Look, Donkey Doug, Double Trouble is dope. 307 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:14,099 On that much, we can all agree on. 308 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,434 But you got to think long-term. 309 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,803 You were good at electricity stuff. 310 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,138 You hooked us up with free porno channels 311 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,807 every year ever since the third grade. 312 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,342 It's good, honest work. 313 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,978 Honest work? Whatever, Dad. 314 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,114 You're his dad. 315 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,982 This is huge, J. 316 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,251 When Double Trouble pops off, I'll be able to quit my job 317 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,120 at the old folks' home. 318 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,988 Buy a big-ass mansion. 319 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,289 Every day, I'll wake up, 320 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,658 get out of bed, brush my teeth, 321 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,794 rinse, go downstairs, 322 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,763 open the fridge, "Damn, we out of milk," 323 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:45,997 get in my car... 324 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,165 You don't have to run through 325 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,767 the whole imaginary day. 326 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,969 Jason, I believe in Double Trouble. 327 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,338 Why won't you believe in me? 328 00:12:56,343 --> 00:13:00,011 Well, I suppose a little entrepreneurial spirit 329 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,813 never hurt anyone. 330 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,482 You know, reach for the stars, as I said to my good friend 331 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,284 Elon Musk. 332 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,987 And then he shot his car into space. 333 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,790 What a weird creep. Why was I friends with him? 334 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:15,226 Maybe this is what'll put your father on the right path. 335 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:18,329 And, hey, it's not like he's robbing a bank. 336 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,431 Yeah, it's a factory. 337 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,201 - Excuse me? - Tonight we're gonna 338 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,403 steal some energy drinks from an energy drink factory, 339 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,305 then still some cologne from a cologne factory. 340 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,008 So it's actually two factories. 341 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,243 Then we just got to bottle it all up. 342 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,412 Ah, dip, we gotta rob a bottle factory. 343 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,215 - Three factories. - Three factories. 344 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,517 Stupid Donkey Doug. 345 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,886 I mean, two factories I can understand, 346 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,354 but... but three? 347 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,023 You... you might want to consider 348 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,793 the possibility that your father's a lost cause. 349 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,163 I have an idea, but I need your help. 350 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,732 Will you guys help me? 351 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,697 I mean, yeah, that... that's why we're here, Jason. 352 00:13:57,722 --> 00:13:58,808 What's your idea, darling? 353 00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:01,306 We're gonna save Pillboi. 354 00:14:02,761 --> 00:14:05,105 Okay, real life. I think I'm ready. 355 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,661 I've analyzed the ten most successful scenarios 356 00:14:07,663 --> 00:14:08,936 and compiled the statistically 357 00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:10,287 most effective breakup strategy. 358 00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:11,951 Who said you weren't a romantic? 359 00:14:11,999 --> 00:14:13,131 Every girlfriend I've ever had. 360 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,666 Ooh, there she is. Okay. 361 00:14:14,668 --> 00:14:16,668 Wish me luck. 362 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,241 - Oh, hi. Uh... - Is something wrong? 363 00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:25,477 No, it's just that we're usually over there. 364 00:14:26,547 --> 00:14:28,680 Doesn't matter. 365 00:14:28,682 --> 00:14:32,084 Okay, so I've spent 366 00:14:32,086 --> 00:14:33,518 a lot of time thinking about everything 367 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,087 that's happened in the last year... 368 00:14:35,089 --> 00:14:36,922 Hi there, what can I get you to drink? 369 00:14:36,924 --> 00:14:38,090 I'll have an iced tea, please. 370 00:14:38,092 --> 00:14:40,592 - Mm-hmm. - Water, thanks. 371 00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:42,494 It's been a time of massive personal 372 00:14:42,496 --> 00:14:44,262 and professional growth... 373 00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:45,564 Sorry, sugar with that iced tea? 374 00:14:45,566 --> 00:14:47,265 - Yes, please. - Right. 375 00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:49,601 All in all, it's been overwhelmingly positive, 376 00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:52,170 and I think that's due in large part to you... 377 00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:53,939 Sorry, real quick, I'm gonna go on break, 378 00:14:53,941 --> 00:14:55,574 so Helmut will be taking care of you. 379 00:14:55,576 --> 00:14:57,109 Hello. 380 00:14:57,111 --> 00:14:58,725 Will you be eating with us today? 381 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:00,250 Just please give us one second. 382 00:15:00,252 --> 00:15:02,185 Yeah, okay. One. 383 00:15:02,187 --> 00:15:04,254 That was one second. That was a joke. 384 00:15:04,256 --> 00:15:05,588 Please get out of here, Helmut! 385 00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:07,523 - Okay, yeah. - All right, look, just... 386 00:15:07,525 --> 00:15:08,758 we need to break up. 387 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,426 I am... I am breaking up with you. 388 00:15:10,428 --> 00:15:12,495 - Why? - I can't... it's... 389 00:15:12,497 --> 00:15:14,697 it's complicated, but it's happening. 390 00:15:14,699 --> 00:15:16,165 Ya dumped. 391 00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:21,104 - Okay. - Wait. Wait, no. 392 00:15:21,106 --> 00:15:22,772 Come back, please. 393 00:15:22,774 --> 00:15:25,708 - Yeah, okay! I'm back. - Not you, Helmut. 394 00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:32,282 Hey, now, listen, Judy, you can't mix xannys 395 00:15:32,284 --> 00:15:33,883 with these little pink fools. 396 00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:35,785 You'll be tripping balls like Clarence was 397 00:15:35,787 --> 00:15:37,787 when he crawled into the ice machine. 398 00:15:37,789 --> 00:15:39,622 Here. 399 00:15:39,624 --> 00:15:41,557 Take half of one of these, 400 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:43,926 wash it down with a 5-Hour ENERGY, 401 00:15:43,928 --> 00:15:45,461 and you'll be golden. 402 00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:47,597 Body high with mild visuals. 403 00:15:47,599 --> 00:15:49,565 Thanks, Pillboi. 404 00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:51,801 Yo, I gotta take off 405 00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:53,936 'cause I gotta go do a robbery. 406 00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:56,539 I mean... I'm sick. 407 00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:00,476 Hello, Pillboi. 408 00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:02,278 I'm here on behalf of Jason. 409 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,780 You won't be attending 410 00:16:03,782 --> 00:16:06,449 the job with Donkey Doug today. 411 00:16:06,451 --> 00:16:08,785 There's been a change of plans. 412 00:16:08,787 --> 00:16:10,553 Okay. 413 00:16:11,389 --> 00:16:12,755 That's it? 414 00:16:12,757 --> 00:16:15,224 You don't need any more information? 415 00:16:15,226 --> 00:16:17,160 I mean, do you want to tell me? 416 00:16:17,162 --> 00:16:19,462 - Not really. - Cool. 417 00:16:20,298 --> 00:16:21,731 Want some pills? 418 00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,302 I hate this. What if I ruined her? 419 00:16:26,304 --> 00:16:27,470 What if I sent her down the wrong path 420 00:16:27,472 --> 00:16:29,172 and she ends up in the Bad Place? 421 00:16:29,174 --> 00:16:31,808 I have to undo what I did. Janet, fire up the simulator. 422 00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:33,576 Dude, no more simulations. 423 00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:35,645 Just talk to her. 424 00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:38,614 Breakups never end with both people feeling great. 425 00:16:38,616 --> 00:16:41,584 But she's a badass, and her world 426 00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,519 is bigger than your relationship. 427 00:16:43,521 --> 00:16:45,521 She'll recover. 428 00:16:45,523 --> 00:16:46,923 Just go. 429 00:16:46,925 --> 00:16:49,192 Be a person. 430 00:16:49,194 --> 00:16:50,693 Right. 431 00:16:50,695 --> 00:16:52,261 Here I go. 432 00:16:54,866 --> 00:16:57,367 Janet, can I use the simulator? 433 00:16:57,369 --> 00:16:59,702 There's a very specific Lenny Kravitz concert 434 00:16:59,704 --> 00:17:01,804 - I want to be front row at. - Sure. 435 00:17:01,806 --> 00:17:03,673 FYI, when the system boots up, 436 00:17:03,675 --> 00:17:05,708 you might find yourself in a steam room 437 00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:08,978 with Jason, who will be wearing an old-timey strongman onesie. 438 00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,347 It's a bug in the system. 439 00:17:14,686 --> 00:17:15,885 Pillboi? 440 00:17:15,887 --> 00:17:18,955 No, it's me, Pillboi's friend Jason. 441 00:17:18,957 --> 00:17:20,790 Pillboi's not coming. 442 00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:22,558 If you're here to tell me an energy drink body spray 443 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,794 is a bad idea, I've heard it before 444 00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:26,562 from a bank and some doctors. 445 00:17:26,564 --> 00:17:28,464 I'ma help you make Double Trouble, 446 00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:31,334 but you got to leave Pillboi alone from now on. 447 00:17:31,336 --> 00:17:33,236 I'm trying to save him. 448 00:17:33,238 --> 00:17:36,572 Oh, dip. You got religious and shiz? 449 00:17:36,574 --> 00:17:39,409 - Amen. - Amen. 450 00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:41,511 Okay, hurry up and get this crap in my truck. 451 00:17:42,914 --> 00:17:44,313 Jacksonville Police! 452 00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:46,549 Come out with your hands up! 453 00:17:46,551 --> 00:17:48,418 Are you a cop? 'Cause if you are, 454 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:50,353 you have to tell us. 455 00:17:50,355 --> 00:17:52,321 Yes, this is the police. 456 00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:53,890 Yup, I knew it. It's the cops. 457 00:17:53,892 --> 00:17:56,025 What do we do? Yo, let's get out of here. 458 00:17:56,027 --> 00:17:57,126 No. 459 00:17:58,430 --> 00:18:00,763 I know I haven't been the best father in the world. 460 00:18:00,765 --> 00:18:03,599 I might not have even been in the top five. 461 00:18:03,601 --> 00:18:05,902 I wanna make up for that. 462 00:18:05,904 --> 00:18:08,337 I'll distract 'em. You run out the back. 463 00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:09,439 No, that's crazy. 464 00:18:09,441 --> 00:18:10,606 It's what my dad did for me 465 00:18:10,608 --> 00:18:11,874 and his dad for him. 466 00:18:11,876 --> 00:18:13,443 And someday, 467 00:18:13,445 --> 00:18:15,445 you'll do this exact thing for your son. 468 00:18:15,447 --> 00:18:17,613 I mean, I hope not, 469 00:18:17,615 --> 00:18:20,049 but thanks, Donkey Doug. 470 00:18:20,051 --> 00:18:21,951 Hey... 471 00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:24,887 - call me Donkey Dad. - Okay. 472 00:18:24,889 --> 00:18:26,622 Donkey Dad. 473 00:18:26,624 --> 00:18:30,460 Nah, that sounds wack. Call me Donkey Doug. 474 00:18:30,462 --> 00:18:32,695 Cool. 475 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,100 Bortles! 476 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:48,306 Uh... 477 00:18:48,533 --> 00:18:51,261 Here's the truth. You're amazing. 478 00:18:52,019 --> 00:18:54,353 And my feelings have changed. 479 00:18:54,419 --> 00:18:55,952 I wish I could tell you why. 480 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,813 I really, really do, 481 00:18:58,962 --> 00:19:00,954 but... 482 00:19:01,403 --> 00:19:03,102 I can't. 483 00:19:04,233 --> 00:19:06,166 Well... 484 00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:08,535 you seem to know what you want, 485 00:19:08,537 --> 00:19:10,569 which is rare for you. 486 00:19:10,688 --> 00:19:13,689 Well, I hope you keep the study going. 487 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:17,240 Might help a lot of people. 488 00:19:18,477 --> 00:19:20,243 Well... 489 00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:21,644 see you in the next life. 490 00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:24,414 What? Why would you say that? What do you know? 491 00:19:24,416 --> 00:19:26,483 It's a figure of speech. 492 00:19:26,485 --> 00:19:28,218 You're so weird, man. 493 00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:30,520 I think maybe this is for the best. 494 00:19:31,556 --> 00:19:34,624 So your covert mission is to continue 495 00:19:34,626 --> 00:19:36,259 to report to this job 496 00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:38,795 until you receive our signal. 497 00:19:38,797 --> 00:19:40,697 Now, this is the most important thing. 498 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,634 You cannot commit any more crimes, 499 00:19:44,636 --> 00:19:47,470 and you must help these people 500 00:19:47,472 --> 00:19:49,906 as much as you can. 501 00:19:49,908 --> 00:19:52,642 - The mission depends on it. - Roger that. 502 00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:55,178 Man, I can't believe this whole time, 503 00:19:55,180 --> 00:19:57,313 you guys were with NASA. 504 00:19:57,315 --> 00:20:01,451 Yes, we are secret astronaut spies. 505 00:20:01,453 --> 00:20:03,486 That is indeed what Jason told you. 506 00:20:04,623 --> 00:20:06,623 Take good care of these old fools, 507 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,825 and stay out of trouble. 508 00:20:09,661 --> 00:20:11,194 I love you, bro. 509 00:20:11,196 --> 00:20:13,263 I love you, bro. 510 00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:24,307 - Psych. - I got you, bro. 511 00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:26,543 - I got you, bro. Jag... - ...uars... 512 00:20:26,545 --> 00:20:28,511 Rule. 513 00:20:35,654 --> 00:20:38,321 Well, my sister's museum exhibit opens tomorrow. 514 00:20:38,323 --> 00:20:41,958 Are you all ready for some Al-Jamil family reconciliation? 515 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,561 You know it, wifey. Soul Squad is on a roll. 516 00:20:44,563 --> 00:20:46,329 I pretty much nailed that Pillboi thing, 517 00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:48,798 and I got closure with my dad, Donkey Doug. 518 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,667 That remains depressing, 519 00:20:50,669 --> 00:20:52,335 but I'm happy for you, bud. 520 00:20:52,337 --> 00:20:53,670 I never got to do that with my parents, 521 00:20:53,672 --> 00:20:57,340 and now they're both dead, so it's impossible. 522 00:20:57,342 --> 00:21:00,910 So the thing is, one of your parents 523 00:21:00,912 --> 00:21:04,848 is not technically actually dead. 524 00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,750 - What are you talking about? - Your mother's alive. 525 00:21:07,752 --> 00:21:10,787 She faked her own death. 526 00:21:12,224 --> 00:21:13,656 I'm sorry, Tahani, I don't think 527 00:21:13,658 --> 00:21:16,226 I'll be able to stay with you here in Budapest. 528 00:21:16,228 --> 00:21:17,827 Turns out my mom isn't dead, 529 00:21:17,829 --> 00:21:20,430 so I need to fly back to America 530 00:21:20,432 --> 00:21:22,432 to murder her.