- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
? Yo, Leroy ?
? We the three MCs here to rock the beat ?
? Super rap, dynamite, Sagittarius C ?
? We got rhymes gala, we got rhymes galore ?
- ? It's time to come alive ? - Yes!
? Yo, party people in the place to be ?
? It's the dynamite... ?
Ohhh!
Fuck! Fuckin' shit. Guys!
Guys, guys.
I'm 30, and I'm a fucking Lyft driver. Fuck me.
- Fuck me. - You don't even look 25.
And that mask is gonna make you look like you're 20.
And you are getting fucking hotter and smarter
and more awesomer as you get older,
so don't even worry about it, right?
You guys sound like my parents.
That's... a good thing, right?
"Oh, my parents, they're always like boosting me
and like complimenting me, it's just so hard... "
- Shut up. - "Mom and Dad love you... "
- We love you, honey. - Love you.
I love you guys, too.
You look like a beautiful marshmallow right now.
What?
You guys.
Wait. Wait. Wait, wait.
We have...
We need to eat some real food.
- On it. - Because otherwise, uh,
we're gonna green out
and ruin your entire birthday weekend.
This isn't food?
Two veggie lovers
soy cheese gluten-free pizza crust,
here in less then 20 minutes!
- Yeah! Food! - It's on!
OK, one, two, three.
- Oh, yeah. - Perfect.
Smiles.
Yeah.
OK, wait. No, hold on.
It's very awkward.
My fat face.
No, hold on.
I look really good there.
OK. That's a good filter.
Don't post that!
- Jesus, dude. - Fuckin' shit.
What the fuck, man?
Sorry, I, uh, uh, um...
I just, um... We shouldn't be posting
any images on Twitter or Insta-stories
or, um, any Facebook or anything like that.
Fucking shit. I...
OK.
Why?
Karen.
I thought you said she couldn't come.
You didn't invite her.
Whoa!
You guys. I...
It's my fuckin' 30th, I just...
I couldn't, this weekend.
- Like, I wanted it to be... - Us.
I just wanted it to be this.
Is that... Am I a terrible person?
No. No. Look.
She's your sister, so, I mean...
I mean, she would be devastated if she found out.
Yep.
Like...
Fine, I'll say it.
We're all really glad she's not here. She sucks!
- She's the worst! - It's so true!
Especially since the divorce,
she's been like double-triple desperate
and weirdo lately.
I know. I... I... I feel awful,
I know I'm smiling, I can feel my face smiling,
but I feel fucking horrible, and I, you know, I couldn't.
- Awww. - Hey, I just wanna say
thank you for preserving this weekend.
You are an amazing friend to us.
Even though you are a fucking terrible sister.
Pizza! Yeah.
Finally.
Hi, guys!
How's it goin'?
Karen. Uh... you made it.
Um...
Um... come in.
Uh, um...
I just assumed you weren't gonna come,
with everything that's been going on, uh...
We, uh, we kinda got started without you,
sorry about that.
Huh.
When you didn't respond to the invite,
I just assumed that you were too busy to...
You sent me an invite?
Of course I did! I mean, it's my 30th birthday,
why wouldn't I want my sister there?
I didn't get an invite.
- You didn't? - Nope.
I just found out about this a little while ago.
From Mom.
That must have felt terrible
to think that maybe Grace didn't send you an invite.
But obviously she did,
because, um,
she's your sister.
But it's... you know,
they just...
It's the damn email servers.
- They just... - Yeah.
They'll send any old email into Spam these days.
They don't care how important it is, they just...
straight to your junk... folder.
Um, that's probably what happened.
'Cause mine was in the... in that folder.
But I found it.
Yeah. Mine too. Was in the junk folder.
Oh.
That, uh, must have been what happened.
Junk folder. Spam.
Fuckin' Spam, man.
You know, Spam.
Right. So...
Well, the good news is, you're here now,
and now we can all celebrate together!
? Happy birthday to you ?
? Happy birthday to-ooh you ?
? Happy birthday ?
? My little baby sister ?
? Happy birthday ?
? To you ?
The pizza's... pizza's here.
Thank God.
Oh. Do you know what we should do later?
A little group selfie action to commemorate the occasion.
Yeah.
Wow, you guys are really
hittin' that ganja tonight, huh?
- Well, it's a party. - Yeah, I gue...
I don't know, I've just never really...
felt like I needed that, ya know?
Not that I'm a prude or anything, it just...
I guess I just don't have those inhibitions.
Life is just fun enough for me as is.
I don't need the extra lube.
Sure you don't wanna try it?
Yeah. No, I'm fine. But thank you. You do you.
OK.
How's your love life these days, Matty?
- It's pretty good. Thanks. - Yeah? Anything steady?
Not really. Not really.
So just hookin' up a bunch...
with a bunch of guys?
Yeah. Hookin' up with a bunch of guys.
'Cause it's what I do. 'Cause I'm gay. Right?
Gay.
When did you figure that out?
Hmm?
That you wanted to be gay.
- Should we go out? - That I...
- That I wanted to be gay? - Mm-hmm.
Karen, it's not actually a choice.
Well, have you never been with a girl before?
Yeah, I mean, in high school before I came out.
Exactly. So you technically can be with a girl.
- Oh, my God. - Shall we go to Miller's? Get $3 PBRs?
I'm just saying that I think about it. OK?
Ya know, for myself. Like, when I see boobs,
I know I'm not gay, but...
kinda makes me tingle a little bit, ya know?
Makes my crotch tickle.
And I'm just wondering if you get that
when you see boobs.
- Or pussies. - Karen...
I'm curious!
Matty gets it, right?
No, I don't tingle
when I see pussies, 'cause I am gay,
- I'm a gay man... - Right. But I wonder
if that's because you prefer to be gay, or...
It's not a fucking preference, Karen,
'cause if it were, everybody would prefer to be gay!
OK. So if you closed your eyes right now
and I started to jerk you off,
you're telling me that you wouldn't enjoy it?
If I showed you my tits you wouldn't wanna
- lick them and suck on 'em? - Karen, come on!
- Come on, Matty. - What?!
Gimme that D!
Gimme that D, Matty, 'cause I wanna whack it!
- Oh, my God! - Got him!
Jesus! Fuck!
Look who got a little bit jealous!
- Tanya! - All right.
Oh.
Matty, check out Dem tig Ole Tanya bitties!
Whoo! Dem tig Ole bitties!
? Tig Ole bitties, tig Ole bitties ?
Fuck, man, Jesus!
Fuck!
Oh, wow!
Just tryin' to have a little fun.
Ya got great titties, Tanya.
And Matty, I know you like Dem boys.
OK? Dem hairy, hairy boys
with Dem hairy, hairy balls.
Just messin' around.
Fuck this. I'm gonna get some air.
Oh...
I'm gonna go check on her.
Oh, my God. Fuck!
What the fuck was that?
I mean, that was intense.
That was intense, even for her. I...
I'm so fucking sorry.
It's not your fault.
I just feel like my heart is racing
like I'm having a fucking panic attack or something.
Maybe you should take it easy on that thing.
Well, I need something.
I don't know how I'm gonna make it
through the weekend with that.
She's not gonna stay all weekend.
Fuck! Ohh, fuck her!
Fuck! You're right.
She'll never leave the fucking party.
She's not gonna fuckin' leave.
I know this is really hard, but, ya know,
I was talking to one of my rides the other day,
and hearing it out loud, I...
My parents having her super-young
and then them adopting me
and then them overcompensating,
trying to make me feel at home, I...
it really fucked her up.
Yeah, I get that, that makes sense.
Um... it's just she tried to grab my dick
and rub her tits in my face,
so, you know, boundaries and stuff.
I get it. I...
I didn't even fuckin' invite her.
But I don't know what to do. I...
Can we just fake it
and make the best of this birthday weekend?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Listen.
Tanya just had a... little talk with me outside,
and she made me realize how inappropriate I was.
And I see that now. Totally.
So I just...
I would like to apologize.
I'm so sorry.
Uh, it's OK. It's cool.
Thank you, Matty.
Where's Tanya?
Oh, uh, her dad called her,
something about her aunt being sick.
- You OK, Matty? - Hmm?
Yeah, are you OK? You do look very pale.
I feel like I'm greening out a little bit,
'cause I'm starting to feel...
a little panicky?
You have had a lot.
Think I'm gonna take a shower.
See if I can sh... shake it off.
Poor guy.
Little too much of the ganja, huh?
Hey... honey...
are you OK?
Yeah, I... I'm fine.
Fine?
It's your birthday.
You should be more than fine.
This should be epic for you.
- I'm gonna go find Tanya. - She's fine.
Matty?
Just dropped the shampoo.
I'm gonna go check on him.
Gracie, you are spending way too much of your birthday
worrying about your friends, OK?
That's not the way that this should be.
I want you to sit down here...
and you are gonna find
the cheesiest '80s movie.
OK? And we'll get some snacks
and we'll do each other's hair like we we used to.
And it's gonna be so fun, I promise.
I'll be right back. I'm just gonna check
on Matty, make sure he's OK.
- Maybe I should. - No, no,
I got it. I'm an EMT.
This is what I do. I got you.
Oh, God.
Huh? What the fuck!
_
Poor guy passed out.
- Is he OK? - Yeah, yeah. He's fine.
No worries.
Hey, it's Tanya,
I'm doing something better right now,
so you know what to do.
Hey, uh, where are you?
Can you just give me a call whenever you get this, please?
Well, I guess it's just the two of us now.
Just like it used to be.
I'm worried about Tanya.
She's on the phone.
I just called her, and went outside,
and she's not anywhere.
Hmm. Well, maybe it really was a family emergency.
- Her car is outside. - Gracie...
you're so stressed out on your birthday,
and we should just be celebrating.
But Karen, I'm worried about my friend.
Well, I'm here, I mean, we can have a party
just the two of us.
You're not understanding what I'm saying.
- Yes, I am. - No, you're not.
My friend is missing,
my other friend is passed out on the bathroom floor
because he was so stressed out he smoked himself
into a fucking weed coma.
I see.
I think I understand.
Grace, I have a question for you.
Did you really...
invite me to your birthday party?
You know, honestly,
at this point, what does it even matter?
It matters a lot.
To me.
What do you want to hear, Karen?
- Just the truth. - I don't think you do.
I think you want to hear that
you were the only person I invited to my birthday
because you're my only friend.
Just like when I was a kid and I used to cling to you,
and that everything's just fucking perfect
like when I first joined the family.
You know what else you want to hear?
That I don't notice that you ostracize
and push away my friends
by you acting like a total fucking weirdo freak,
all so you can have me to yourself.
Wow.
I cannot believe that you would say those things about me.
I mean, what do you think is going on here tonight?
Do you really think I'm trying to get rid of your friends?
What, that I... followed Tanya out
and killed her by the vending machine
and hid her body behind a dumpster?
And what about Matty?
That I lied about going in to help him,
and instead strangled him
and laid him on the bathroom floor like he was sleeping
so you wouldn't be suspicious?
Is that what you think is going on here tonight?
I didn't say that.
Good.
Because that's not what's happening.
- Matty! - He's sleeping.
- Matty! - He's sleeping, Grace!
Come on! Why are you acting so difficult?
This is your birthday.
Where are you going?
I'm going for a walk.
Well, then, I'll go with you.
That's OK. OK?
I want to come with you.
But I don't want you to.
You don't mean that. You're just upset right now.
No, I fucking mean it.
Get the fuck out of my fucking life!
I'm done!
Grace!
Come back here!
Leave me alone!
_
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --