1
00:00:01,816 --> 00:00:04,283
Hey, you guys have any
plans for Valentine's Day?

2
00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:05,951
Three months from now? No.

3
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:07,619
- What? No?
- I mean,

4
00:00:07,688 --> 00:00:10,143
secret romantic plans that
would be ruined if I told you.

5
00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:12,167
Oh.

6
00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:14,259
What's going on, Raj?

7
00:00:14,328 --> 00:00:16,328
Well, how would
you guys feel

8
00:00:16,397 --> 00:00:18,063
about going to India
for my wedding?

9
00:00:18,132 --> 00:00:20,699
Oh, that's so exciting!

10
00:00:20,768 --> 00:00:22,968
Penny, you will never guess
what I have planned

11
00:00:23,037 --> 00:00:25,838
for Valentine's Day.
- Uh-huh.

12
00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:28,307
Can I feed peanuts to
the elephants at your wedding?

13
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,010
- That is such a stereotype!
- There won't be any elephants?

14
00:00:31,078 --> 00:00:32,322
Of course there'll be elephants.

15
00:00:32,346 --> 00:00:35,047
It's a stereotype
that you feed them peanuts.

16
00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:37,516
Are you really gonna plan
a wedding in three months?

17
00:00:37,585 --> 00:00:39,852
Yeah, well, her family's
doing most of the work.

18
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,154
They're amazing.
We talk all the time.

19
00:00:42,223 --> 00:00:43,122
Why?

20
00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:45,290
Because we're
about to get married

21
00:00:45,359 --> 00:00:47,126
and they're gonna be my family.

22
00:00:47,194 --> 00:00:50,596
Amy and I are married, and
I never talk to her family.

23
00:00:50,664 --> 00:00:52,097
Really? My parents
love Leonard.

24
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:54,333
Yeah. And my mom loves
Penny, which is weird,

25
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,869
because I never
knew she could love.

26
00:00:58,072 --> 00:01:00,305
And my dad has grown
to really...

27
00:01:00,374 --> 00:01:02,007
like Howard.

28
00:01:03,244 --> 00:01:06,678
Yeah, there's a nice...
coolness between us.

29
00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:08,847
Hey, guys,
before Anu gets here,

30
00:01:08,916 --> 00:01:11,517
can I talk about
the seating situation?

31
00:01:11,585 --> 00:01:13,130
I really don't want her
to sit on the floor.

32
00:01:13,154 --> 00:01:15,854
Oh. No problem.
Bernadette, floor.

33
00:01:15,923 --> 00:01:17,923
- Hey!
- Yeah, you can't make my wife

34
00:01:17,992 --> 00:01:19,558
sit on the floor.
- Fine.

35
00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:21,593
Howard, floor.

36
00:01:21,662 --> 00:01:23,228
Fine, I'll sit on the floor.

37
00:01:23,297 --> 00:01:24,408
Thank you, Penny.
And, Leonard,

38
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,565
I was kind of hoping
I could sit next to Anu.

39
00:01:26,634 --> 00:01:28,634
So now I have to sit on the floor?
It's my house.

40
00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:30,013
Why can't Sheldon
sit on the floor?

41
00:01:30,037 --> 00:01:32,704
That might be the dumbest thing
you've ever said.

42
00:01:32,773 --> 00:01:34,506
Guys, guys,

43
00:01:34,575 --> 00:01:36,141
there's a simple solution.

44
00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:39,445
I am not breaking up with her.

45
00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:43,982
All right. Let's
keep thinking.

46
00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:46,285
Hey, everybody, it's Anu.

47
00:01:46,353 --> 00:01:47,719
Hi.

48
00:01:47,788 --> 00:01:48,754
Hi! Welcome!

49
00:01:48,755 --> 00:01:51,267
? The Big Bang Theory 12x08 ?
The Consummation Deviation

50
00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:54,359
? Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ?

51
00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:57,729
? Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ?

52
00:01:57,798 --> 00:01:59,298
? The Earth began to cool ?

53
00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:02,000
? The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ?

54
00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:04,503
? We built the Wall ?
? We built the pyramids ?

55
00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:07,172
? Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ?

56
00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,108
? That all started
with a big bang ?

57
00:02:09,176 --> 00:02:10,676
? Bang! ?

58
00:02:10,677 --> 00:02:16,177
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

59
00:02:16,225 --> 00:02:18,225
Oh, I am stuffed!

60
00:02:18,294 --> 00:02:20,561
I should not have eaten
all those dumplings.

61
00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:24,231
I think we should have sex.

62
00:02:27,904 --> 00:02:30,304
Me, too.

63
00:02:30,373 --> 00:02:32,206
Yeah, it's just,
we haven't done it yet,

64
00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:33,507
and I think it's important

65
00:02:33,576 --> 00:02:35,387
to make sure we're compatible
before we get married.

66
00:02:35,411 --> 00:02:36,844
I totally agree.

67
00:02:36,913 --> 00:02:38,345
Oh, just one question.

68
00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:40,347
While we're doing it,
can I leave my shirt on?

69
00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:43,884
You know, the dumplings,
pretty salty.

70
00:02:43,953 --> 00:02:45,953
It doesn't have
to be tonight.

71
00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:47,454
How about this weekend?

72
00:02:47,523 --> 00:02:49,256
I can get us a room
at my hotel.

73
00:02:49,325 --> 00:02:50,424
Okay. Sounds nice.

74
00:02:50,493 --> 00:02:52,393
We can order
a bunch of room service,

75
00:02:52,461 --> 00:02:55,796
because I'm not eating anything
between now and then.

76
00:02:55,898 --> 00:02:57,731
Aw. Are you worried?

77
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,899
I am not worried.

78
00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:01,502
If anything, I'm overconfident.

79
00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:03,938
Edging into smug.

80
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:06,941
I'm sure it's
gonna be fine.

81
00:03:07,009 --> 00:03:08,909
Oh, it's gonna be
better than fine.

82
00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:10,878
Trust me,
I've had no complaints.

83
00:03:10,947 --> 00:03:11,845
Good to know.

84
00:03:11,914 --> 00:03:14,381
Well, I've had
questions, comments,

85
00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:15,883
some constructive criticism,

86
00:03:15,952 --> 00:03:18,052
but... no complaints.

87
00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,856
You're up early.

88
00:03:22,925 --> 00:03:25,125
Huh? Yes. I wanted
to get a jump

89
00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:27,294
on planning
a day of fun for you.

90
00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:28,707
Oh, that's sweet.
What are we doing?

91
00:03:28,731 --> 00:03:30,531
Oh, no. Just you.
I have other plans.

92
00:03:32,368 --> 00:03:35,869
Now, would you prefer
to see The Grinch in 2-D or 3-D?

93
00:03:35,938 --> 00:03:38,305
I don't want to see it at all.

94
00:03:38,374 --> 00:03:41,742
Well, let's go 2-D. No sense
in spending extra money.

95
00:03:41,811 --> 00:03:43,677
What are you
gonna be doing?

96
00:03:43,746 --> 00:03:45,312
Being a great husband.

97
00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:47,748
Yeah, you're gonna need
to show your work on that.

98
00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:51,118
After last night,
I got to thinking

99
00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:54,088
that I should have a better
relationship with your family.

100
00:03:54,156 --> 00:03:56,223
I think the one you have
with them is perfect.

101
00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:57,658
I hardly have one at all.

102
00:03:57,727 --> 00:03:59,760
Which is perfect.

103
00:03:59,829 --> 00:04:01,895
Oh, Amy, they're
important to you,

104
00:04:01,964 --> 00:04:03,764
and you're
important to me.

105
00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,477
Therefore, according to
the transitive property,

106
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:07,501
they're important to me.
It's the same reason

107
00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:09,203
I'm interested
in your big, flat feet.

108
00:04:11,474 --> 00:04:13,907
Well, you know
that my mom can be...

109
00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:16,443
well, difficult to get along with.
- Which is why

110
00:04:16,512 --> 00:04:19,546
I'm starting with your dad
and working my way up.

111
00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:21,181
All right.
I'm just worried

112
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:23,517
you might have
a rather unpleasant day.

113
00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:25,185
Yeah, back at ya.
I watched the trailer

114
00:04:25,254 --> 00:04:26,614
for The Grinch--
it looks terrible.

115
00:04:30,593 --> 00:04:32,993
- Hi, Sheldon.
- Oh, good. You're right on time.

116
00:04:33,062 --> 00:04:35,195
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey, pumpkin.

117
00:04:35,264 --> 00:04:38,532
Pumpkin? I've been
calling her spaghetti squash.

118
00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:40,100
It's amazing
that one woman

119
00:04:40,169 --> 00:04:42,603
can be different vegetables
to different men.

120
00:04:42,672 --> 00:04:44,204
Bye.

121
00:04:44,273 --> 00:04:45,639
Bye.

122
00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:47,641
So, how does this work
with in-laws?

123
00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:49,643
Am I supposed
to be calling you Dad?

124
00:04:49,712 --> 00:04:51,045
Because I don't want to.

125
00:04:51,113 --> 00:04:53,414
- You don't have to.
- Oh, thanks, Larry.

126
00:04:53,482 --> 00:04:55,382
Ooh. That doesn't
sound right.

127
00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:58,018
Maybe I should pick
a vegetable for you.

128
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:04,725
Hey, Leonard, can you pause
the game for a second?

129
00:05:04,794 --> 00:05:07,461
- Uh, hang on.
- I'm about to beat Howard.

130
00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:08,796
What? Hey!

131
00:05:08,864 --> 00:05:10,397
What?

132
00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:11,832
He's our friend.

133
00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:14,001
What's up, pal?

134
00:05:15,738 --> 00:05:18,005
I... I don't know
how else to say this,

135
00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:21,775
but, um, Anu and I are going
to have sex tonight.

136
00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:24,211
Yeah...

137
00:05:25,314 --> 00:05:27,681
Do you know how creepy
that sounds?

138
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:30,017
Yeah...

139
00:05:32,488 --> 00:05:34,655
So, is this the first time?

140
00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:35,724
Yeah.

141
00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:37,691
- How you feeling about it?
- Uh...

142
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,293
to be honest,
I'm pretty anxious.

143
00:05:39,361 --> 00:05:42,529
I mean, this is the woman I'm
marrying-- what if it's no good?

144
00:05:42,598 --> 00:05:44,198
Do we break up?
Do we...

145
00:05:44,266 --> 00:05:47,134
sign on for a lifetime
of mediocre sex?

146
00:05:47,203 --> 00:05:49,236
Just don't put
so much pressure on it.

147
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,305
It's always a little awkward
in the beginning.

148
00:05:51,373 --> 00:05:53,640
I remember the first time
I slept with Penny.

149
00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:54,709
It was bad?

150
00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:56,944
Oh, it was awesome!

151
00:05:59,515 --> 00:06:02,783
I will replay it in my head
until the day I die.

152
00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:04,818
Well, if it helps,
I was really nervous

153
00:06:04,887 --> 00:06:06,587
my first time with Bernie.

154
00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:11,291
Mostly because I was worried
my mom would walk in.

155
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,059
Did she?

156
00:06:12,128 --> 00:06:14,428
Yea-- Yeah.

157
00:06:15,865 --> 00:06:17,209
I'll tell you one thing.

158
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:19,266
Lock the door.

159
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,635
Yeah, Raj, you're
gonna be fine.

160
00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:23,637
Just break out some
of your Kama Sutra moves.

161
00:06:23,706 --> 00:06:25,639
I don't really know
any of that stuff.

162
00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,741
I just pretend I do
to impress women.

163
00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:28,742
And by the way,

164
00:06:28,811 --> 00:06:30,344
Anu is Indian--
she's gonna know

165
00:06:30,412 --> 00:06:33,914
there's no sexual position
called a "screeching lotus."

166
00:06:33,983 --> 00:06:35,849
Screeching lotus?

167
00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:38,619
Sometimes I get leg cramps.
It's my cover story.

168
00:06:39,722 --> 00:06:41,655
Look, she's probably
nervous, too.

169
00:06:41,724 --> 00:06:44,158
Yeah, what if you're great
and she's bad?

170
00:06:44,226 --> 00:06:45,325
How can she be bad?

171
00:06:45,394 --> 00:06:48,295
Raj, women can be
bad at sex, too.

172
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,464
No, that's silly.

173
00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:56,303
Hey, have you checked
the dates on these?

174
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,771
They're all expired.

175
00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,741
You buy candy in a comic book
store, you get what you get.

176
00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:03,911
It's called
Lethal Weapon,

177
00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:05,679
but isn't that
redundant?

178
00:07:05,748 --> 00:07:07,815
Aren't weapons,
by their very nature, lethal?

179
00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:09,316
I suppose you're right.

180
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,785
Yeah, and don't even get me
started on Unsolved Mysteries.

181
00:07:11,854 --> 00:07:14,221
I didn't get you started
on Lethal Weapon.

182
00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:17,991
All right, this is another one
of my favorite places,

183
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:20,894
the comic book store.
Feel free to look around.

184
00:07:20,963 --> 00:07:24,765
Vintage comics in back,
vintage candy right here.

185
00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,867
What are you guys up to?

186
00:07:26,936 --> 00:07:29,436
Oh, father-in-law, son-in-law bonding.
It's going great.

187
00:07:29,505 --> 00:07:31,505
Look at what he bought me
at the train store.

188
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:36,443
Yeah, it sounded louder
in the car.

189
00:07:36,512 --> 00:07:37,978
Cool. Can I see it?

190
00:07:38,047 --> 00:07:39,047
Hmm? Sure.

191
00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,448
Oh. Interesting.

192
00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:44,051
I think this is one of those
disappearing whistles.

193
00:07:44,119 --> 00:07:46,119
What are you
talking about?

194
00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:48,755
Voilà!

195
00:07:48,824 --> 00:07:51,124
Amazing.

196
00:07:51,193 --> 00:07:54,027
Where did it go?

197
00:07:54,096 --> 00:07:55,929
Look in your pocket.

198
00:07:57,032 --> 00:07:58,332
Oh! Oh!

199
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,068
Oh, how did you do that?

200
00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:05,906
Sorry, a magician
never shares his secrets.

201
00:08:05,975 --> 00:08:07,052
I'll give you
a hundred bucks.

202
00:08:07,076 --> 00:08:08,642
Sold!

203
00:08:08,711 --> 00:08:09,711
Okay.

204
00:08:09,778 --> 00:08:11,445
Hey.

205
00:08:11,513 --> 00:08:13,614
- Where's my wallet?
- Voilà!

206
00:08:16,986 --> 00:08:19,119
Hey, Penny.
I need your help.

207
00:08:19,188 --> 00:08:21,121
I am freaking out.

208
00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:22,356
Okay, is she there yet?

209
00:08:22,424 --> 00:08:24,391
No, I got here first.
You know...

210
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,227
get the lay of the land.

211
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:29,062
Raj, it's gonna be okay.
Look, sex isn't

212
00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:30,864
the most important thing
in a relationship.

213
00:08:30,933 --> 00:08:35,035
My first time with Leonard
was nothing to write home about.

214
00:08:35,104 --> 00:08:36,203
Really?

215
00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:38,171
Yeah, but, you know,
over time it got better.

216
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,806
S-So practice makes perfect?

217
00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:42,643
Well, practice makes better.

218
00:08:45,114 --> 00:08:48,215
Oh, my God, oh, my God, she just
texted. She's on her way up!

219
00:08:48,284 --> 00:08:49,983
Raj, calm down.
You got this.

220
00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:52,252
Yes. Thank you, thank you.
I got this.

221
00:08:52,321 --> 00:08:54,399
Just remember, the most
important thing is to have fun.

222
00:08:54,423 --> 00:08:56,690
Stop putting
so much pressure on me!

223
00:08:59,762 --> 00:09:01,795
Hi.

224
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:13,774
Everything okay?

225
00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:20,614
Why are you acting
so weird?

226
00:09:23,919 --> 00:09:26,053
Raj? What's going on?

227
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:30,791
Be right out!
You look beautiful!

228
00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:40,752
Sorry, I had to use
the facilities.

229
00:09:41,955 --> 00:09:44,189
With a bottle of champagne?

230
00:09:44,257 --> 00:09:46,658
Mm, I like to celebrate
the little things in life.

231
00:09:47,894 --> 00:09:50,428
You need to go?
There's still some left.

232
00:09:51,755 --> 00:09:53,234
Raj, what is going on?

233
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:55,067
No, no, it's not
what's going on,

234
00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:57,001
it's what's comin' off.

235
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,303
Stop it.

236
00:09:58,371 --> 00:10:01,372
You're acting weird,
and it's freaking me out.

237
00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:03,975
Why? Because I couldn't talk
and ran in the bathroom

238
00:10:04,044 --> 00:10:05,810
to slug back a
bottle of champagne

239
00:10:05,879 --> 00:10:08,112
when I pretended to pee?

240
00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:10,415
Okay, I think I'm gonna leave.

241
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,851
No, no, wait, wait,
don't-- okay, don't go.

242
00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,086
Fine. Then tell me
what's going on.

243
00:10:16,189 --> 00:10:17,987
Well, funny story...

244
00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:18,637
The truth.

245
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,942
Oh, God, the truth is
so not good for me!

246
00:10:25,332 --> 00:10:27,298
Voilà.

247
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,633
Darn it.

248
00:10:28,702 --> 00:10:29,868
It's okay.

249
00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:31,402
Here, let me
show you again.

250
00:10:35,742 --> 00:10:38,510
It's like you're
actually magic.

251
00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:43,748
You can do that but you still
can't get my bra off.

252
00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:48,686
The rings don't roll
their eyes at me.

253
00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:52,156
Excuse me, Turnip,
we need to get going.

254
00:10:52,259 --> 00:10:55,527
But-but Howard was gonna show me
some close-up magic.

255
00:10:55,595 --> 00:10:57,195
Well, if you want
to see real magic,

256
00:10:57,264 --> 00:10:58,763
I'll take you
to Union Station,

257
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,932
home to trains, subways
and busses that,

258
00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:04,235
every half hour-- voilà--
drive to the airport.

259
00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:06,571
I'd like to stay,
if you don't mind.

260
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,972
Oh, not at all.

261
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,808
Howard. A word.

262
00:11:12,412 --> 00:11:13,912
What's up?

263
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:17,015
- I need you to stop being so delightful.
- What?

264
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:18,394
I'm supposed to be
bonding with him.

265
00:11:18,418 --> 00:11:20,552
You have your own father-in-law;
leave mine alone.

266
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,598
Tell you what, you take my
father-in-law, I'll take yours.

267
00:11:22,622 --> 00:11:23,862
I don't want
your father-in-law.

268
00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:27,458
What if I throw in
a quarter?

269
00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:29,827
Do it again.
Do it again.

270
00:11:31,164 --> 00:11:34,566
Mrs. Fowler.
Mrs. Fowler.

271
00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:36,568
Mrs. Fowler.

272
00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:39,604
Sheldon, what's going on?

273
00:11:39,673 --> 00:11:40,905
Where is Larry?

274
00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:43,741
Oh, Turnip's out;
I'm bonding with you.

275
00:11:48,281 --> 00:11:51,449
Okay, you wanted the truth,
here it is.

276
00:11:51,518 --> 00:11:52,750
You have a drinking problem.

277
00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:56,621
No. I, uh,
I have a talking problem,

278
00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:59,290
and a drinking solution.

279
00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:00,825
What does that mean?

280
00:12:03,463 --> 00:12:06,831
Oh, Anu, for
most of my life,

281
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,900
I got so nervous
around women

282
00:12:08,969 --> 00:12:11,069
that I couldn't talk
to them without alcohol.

283
00:12:11,137 --> 00:12:14,038
So you've been drunk every time
we've seen each other?

284
00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:15,940
No. No. It hasn't
happened in a long time.

285
00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:17,575
And I really thought
I was over it,

286
00:12:17,644 --> 00:12:20,612
but I guess...
I-I don't know,

287
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,214
I guess I-I wanted so much
for tonight to go well,

288
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,450
that I-I stressed
myself out.

289
00:12:25,518 --> 00:12:26,985
It came back.

290
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:30,989
Why didn't you tell me
about this before?

291
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:33,758
I was embarrassed.

292
00:12:33,827 --> 00:12:35,727
I get that.

293
00:12:38,064 --> 00:12:39,430
If it makes you
feel any better,

294
00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:42,467
I've got things
I'm embarrassed about, too.

295
00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:44,902
Really? Will you
tell me one?

296
00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:47,872
Okay. Um...

297
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:50,575
Ugh. I hate
telling people this.

298
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:54,412
I don't like music.

299
00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:57,081
What kind of music?

300
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,751
Just all of it.

301
00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:03,621
It sort of seems
like a waste of time.

302
00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:07,792
Even Beyoncé?

303
00:13:07,861 --> 00:13:09,427
See, this is why
I don't tell people.

304
00:13:09,496 --> 00:13:11,095
No. Um, it's fine.
It's just,

305
00:13:11,164 --> 00:13:15,033
have you heard
"Single Ladies"?

306
00:13:15,101 --> 00:13:16,868
Yeah, and I don't get it.

307
00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:19,103
I mean, the lyrics are
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."

308
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:22,874
Y-You have to sing it in
the voice of a goddess.

309
00:13:22,942 --> 00:13:24,742
Like: ? Oh, wa-ah, oh ?

310
00:13:24,811 --> 00:13:26,244
? Wa-ah, oh ?

311
00:13:26,312 --> 00:13:27,512
? Oh, oh, oh ?

312
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:30,014
? Wa-ah, oh. ?

313
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:33,851
My point is, we both have
our little eccentricities.

314
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,720
Little eccentricities?

315
00:13:35,789 --> 00:13:38,589
One is a deep-seated
psychological disturbance,

316
00:13:38,658 --> 00:13:40,992
and the other can be solved by
half a glass of chardonnay.

317
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:48,533
So the doctor prescribed Nizoral
and it blocked enzyme action,

318
00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:52,036
and the fungus
cleared right up.

319
00:13:52,105 --> 00:13:55,840
That's a very
disturbing picture.

320
00:13:55,909 --> 00:13:58,176
Yes, well, they say a picture's
worth a thousand words,

321
00:13:58,244 --> 00:14:01,045
but I say nothing beats a
picture and a thousand words.

322
00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:05,717
Still, you might want
to take it off Facebook.

323
00:14:05,785 --> 00:14:07,919
Oh, no. It's in my nature
to share.

324
00:14:07,987 --> 00:14:10,855
So, your turn.

325
00:14:10,924 --> 00:14:12,590
Uh, other than Amy,

326
00:14:12,659 --> 00:14:16,461
have you every had anything
removed from your body?

327
00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:22,433
I am not going to answer that.

328
00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:25,303
Smart. Save something for
our next get-together.

329
00:14:25,371 --> 00:14:28,172
Oh, we should commemorate
this one with a selfie.

330
00:14:31,478 --> 00:14:35,880
Oh, look at us,
two peas in a pod.

331
00:14:35,949 --> 00:14:37,448
Oh, speaking of vegetables,

332
00:14:37,517 --> 00:14:40,885
how about I start calling you
Old Lady Green Beans?

333
00:14:45,725 --> 00:14:47,558
Hey, you look
deep in thought.

334
00:14:47,627 --> 00:14:50,294
- Ah, I'm just reflecting.
- About what?

335
00:14:50,363 --> 00:14:52,630
The first time
we slept together.

336
00:14:52,699 --> 00:14:55,333
Oh, honey. Don't beat
yourself up; it's great now.

337
00:14:57,837 --> 00:15:00,338
This is not good.

338
00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:01,806
Sheldon is hanging out
with my mom.

339
00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,074
Yeah. O-One sec.

340
00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:05,743
W-What do you mean,
"don't beat myself up"?

341
00:15:05,812 --> 00:15:07,879
Guys, focus.

342
00:15:07,947 --> 00:15:09,914
My mom thinks
that Sheldon is the reason

343
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:11,260
I don't spend a lot of time
with her.

344
00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,583
Well, why would
she think that?

345
00:15:12,652 --> 00:15:13,785
Because I told her.

346
00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:16,320
You need a cup of coffee?
Wake up!

347
00:15:16,389 --> 00:15:18,823
So you've been using Sheldon
as an excuse

348
00:15:18,892 --> 00:15:20,458
to get out of
seeing your mother?

349
00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:22,226
I know.

350
00:15:22,295 --> 00:15:23,828
I feel terrible.

351
00:15:23,897 --> 00:15:26,330
I love my mom but,
you know, sometimes...

352
00:15:26,399 --> 00:15:29,333
Yeah. We-We've met her. Yeah.

353
00:15:29,402 --> 00:15:32,036
And it's easier to say
I can't spend time with her

354
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:36,140
because of Sheldon than to admit
that I just, I don't want to.

355
00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:37,942
Totally understandable.

356
00:15:38,011 --> 00:15:39,443
I'll ask again,
what do you mean,

357
00:15:39,512 --> 00:15:41,412
"don't beat myself up"?

358
00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:45,783
And then you ask me 20
questions to try to determine

359
00:15:45,852 --> 00:15:48,052
which Nobel Prize-winning
physicist I am.

360
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,654
Ready? Go.

361
00:15:53,259 --> 00:15:55,760
Can I give up?

362
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:58,462
No. 19 questions left.

363
00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:06,704
Are you gonna get that?

364
00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:08,573
Oh, no. We're in the
middle of a game.

365
00:16:10,877 --> 00:16:13,511
18 questions left.

366
00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:16,948
Answer the phone,
Sheldon.

367
00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:19,817
Hello, Amy.

368
00:16:19,886 --> 00:16:21,652
Hey, how's it going?

369
00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:24,889
Well, Howard lured your dad away
with magic,

370
00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:26,524
so now I'm bonding
with your mom.

371
00:16:29,629 --> 00:16:31,696
I think she likes me.

372
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:35,666
I'd like you a lot better

373
00:16:35,735 --> 00:16:37,902
if you weren't keeping
my daughter away from me.

374
00:16:37,971 --> 00:16:39,270
Uh, wh-- Hang on, Amy.

375
00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:42,173
What's the problem,
Green Beans?

376
00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:45,509
Amy said she couldn't come
to Thanksgiving dinner

377
00:16:45,578 --> 00:16:47,745
because you always have
to spend it with your mother.

378
00:16:47,814 --> 00:16:50,214
I haven't spent Thanksgiving
with my mother in years.

379
00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:52,984
Amy, why would you tell
your mother

380
00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:54,652
that I spend Thanksgiving
with my mother?

381
00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:57,488
Uh, no time
to talk about that now.

382
00:16:57,557 --> 00:16:59,423
All your action figures
are on fire.

383
00:16:59,492 --> 00:17:01,092
Harrison Ford's in the lobby.
Come quick.

384
00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,075
And Amy never joins us
for Sunday dinners

385
00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,199
because you refuse to go out
on a school night.

386
00:17:08,268 --> 00:17:10,835
Sh-- I can go out
on a school night

387
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,070
as long as I'm in
my PJs by 10:00.

388
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,573
Sheldon, don't listen to her.

389
00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:16,919
She doesn't know
what she's talking about.

390
00:17:16,943 --> 00:17:19,877
She's crazy!

391
00:17:19,946 --> 00:17:21,712
Hello, Amy.

392
00:17:23,683 --> 00:17:24,916
Hello, Mother.

393
00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:31,756
Great news. We-we can come
for Thanksgiving this year.

394
00:17:33,192 --> 00:17:35,159
I can't believe it.

395
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,928
All this time
I've been angry at you

396
00:17:36,996 --> 00:17:38,436
when I should have
been angry at Amy.

397
00:17:38,464 --> 00:17:40,965
Look at that.
We're both angry at Amy.

398
00:17:41,034 --> 00:17:43,668
Maybe that's something
we could bond over.

399
00:17:44,837 --> 00:17:46,037
Let me ask you this:

400
00:17:46,105 --> 00:17:48,105
how do you feel about Howard?

401
00:17:48,174 --> 00:17:51,809
Oh, is he that odd little friend
you have with the haircut?

402
00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:55,079
I may have married
the wrong Fowler.

403
00:17:57,617 --> 00:18:01,218
Why would Amy feel
the need to lie to me?

404
00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:02,665
Well, perhaps because
you're her mother

405
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,169
and she didn't want
to disappoint you.

406
00:18:04,223 --> 00:18:06,123
Really?

407
00:18:06,192 --> 00:18:08,192
Even after she threw you
under the bus,

408
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,894
you're still
gonna defend her.

409
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,395
Oh, yes.

410
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:13,030
She's my wife
and I love her.

411
00:18:13,099 --> 00:18:15,311
And if I can forgive her for
putting ketchup on her eggs,

412
00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:17,568
I can forgive her for this.

413
00:18:17,637 --> 00:18:21,339
Her father does that,
it's disgusting.

414
00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:24,608
Amy's crazy,
you are a delight.

415
00:18:33,052 --> 00:18:34,819
Good morning.

416
00:18:34,887 --> 00:18:36,520
Mm. Good morning.

417
00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:37,922
I ordered some coffee for us.

418
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,791
Oh, fantastic.

419
00:18:42,495 --> 00:18:44,195
Last night was...

420
00:18:44,263 --> 00:18:45,930
wonderful.

421
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,500
But all we
did was talk.

422
00:18:49,569 --> 00:18:52,103
Yeah. And it was wonderful.

423
00:18:52,171 --> 00:18:54,305
Am I safe to assume
you talking to me now

424
00:18:54,374 --> 00:18:56,374
is a good sign
for our marriage?

425
00:18:56,442 --> 00:18:58,743
Yeah,
and-and for my liver.

426
00:19:00,546 --> 00:19:02,079
Hey, about the other thing.

427
00:19:02,181 --> 00:19:03,981
Um...

428
00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:06,283
Should we just wait
for another night?

429
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:10,955
Or I go take a shower,

430
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,257
and you decide how
you want to play this.

431
00:19:19,232 --> 00:19:21,499
Take a shower with me, Raj.

432
00:19:28,506 --> 00:19:29,972
Thank you, Amy.

433
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,852
It's so nice of you
to have us over for dinner.

434
00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:36,044
Couldn't think
of a single reason not to.

435
00:19:36,113 --> 00:19:38,380
Yeah, and boy,
did she try.

436
00:19:38,449 --> 00:19:40,349
Thank you, honey.

437
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:43,051
Oh, you're welcome, dear.

438
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,654
Would anyone like to see the
magic trick Howard taught me?

439
00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:48,190
I'd love to see your trick,
Daddy.

440
00:19:51,529 --> 00:19:54,730
A perfectly ordinary
table knife.

441
00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,936
Watch closely.

442
00:20:01,005 --> 00:20:03,138
Voilà.

443
00:20:03,207 --> 00:20:06,408
Oh, my gosh,
that was so good.

444
00:20:12,216 --> 00:20:14,917
Well, look,
there's fake blood, too.

445
00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:18,353
I'll be right back.

446
00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:25,685
I don't know about you,
but I don't really like magic.

447
00:20:25,754 --> 00:20:29,922
You just keep getting
better and better.

448
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:38,665
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man