What the hell is wrong with you?!
I-I don't even remember getting in the car. Is she okay?
She's fine.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened.
You're coked up and drunk again, that's what happened.
You could have killed our daughter!
Son, I know you've been resistant in the past,
but I think it's time for you to get some help.
You're right. I'm ready.
- Come on, son. - I'll call a tow truck.
How'd it go?
5 grand, baby.
Rock Bottom Industries.
Yeah, I know the place.
We can be there in about an hour.
I'm wearing a plaid shirt and green khakis.
I'll be wearing blue jeans.
Her name is Angel. She's my sister.
What's she got a taste for?
You name it... Booze, coke, pills.
I think she was on ecstasy for Easter.
She dressed up like a bunny
and gave our uncle a six-hour foot rub.
Okay. You know it's cash only, right?
Yeah, yeah, the... the guy at work told me.
But he wouldn't give me a lot of details.
What is it you guys do, exactly?
90% of addicts refuse to seek help
until they've hit rock bottom.
The problem is, 30% of the time, rock bottom means death.
We try to prevent that from happening.
- Who are you? - Whoa.
First thing we do is we get close to the subject
by bonding over similar interests.
Then we party.
Well, they party. My wife and I fake it.
It's a lot easier than you think
to pull the wool over somebody's eyes.
Then when the moment is right,
we slip 'em a Mickey...
...and safely stage the perfect rock-bottom scenario.
Ooh.
A quick shot of epinephrine, and they wake up to a scene
that sends them running straight to rehab.
All right. So, look. We know that she's homeless
and she lives on the beach, but we need more.
So I want you to write down everything you know about her...
What she's been through already,
what she loves, what she fears.
Bloody Mary and a shot of Tito's.
- Um... - Mm.
Hair of the dog, baby.
You know what? I think I saw a flier
for a beach house for rent when we came in.
Maybe it's available this weekend.
How do you spell "arachnophobia"?
It's not the SATs. Just put "fear of spiders."
Where are those keys? I'm sorry.
I have a tendency to misplace things.
Mother says I get that from Grandpa,
and he died of dementia in August.
Or was it April?
Shit, shit, shit.
- Shit, shit, shit! - Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar,
sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar.
Ah, here they are. Great.
Um, cash okay?
Oh, yeah. Sure. Cash is great, yeah.
It's, uh... It's Mother's property.
Usually people book online, but this way,
I don't have to tell her anyone rented the place.
Just if you do me a solid and don't write in the guest book.
Don't worry. We're good at keeping secrets.
Shit!
Should she be at a hospital?
Oh, our insurance only pays for one day,
so we're trying to wait till, uh, after midnight.
Vivian, uh, could you take my car, see if you can find Bodhi?
The sound system is acting up, and we got that band
that you introduced me to playing tonight.
One Bodhi coming up.
Sweetheart, do you want a muscle relaxer?
If the vagina's a muscle, yes.
Holy shit.
Overdosed five times.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
Legally dead twice.
Says here last time, she O.D.'d on purpose
so she could finish her argument with God.
What's all that?
Thought you said you wanted, uh, all the newspapers
so you could look for an apartment.
But these are all the same newspaper.
Yeah. We only have one newspaper, The Morning Tide.
I thought you wanted all of them
so that no one else could read 'em
and there'd be no competition for the apartments.
That's not what I meant,
but it makes a hell of a lot of sense.
Lot of stuff about dogs in here.
Oh, really?
Yeah, she had a bunch growing up
and used to work at a shelter
before they fired her for stealing ketamine.
She even has a tattoo that says "Black Labs Matter."
Hey, remember that job we did in Miami?
What, the one with the homeless guy?
I hated that one. Too much blood.
- Yeah, but it worked. - Hmm.
So what if we did the same thing but with a dog?
Mm. You are sick.
All right. I'll go find our gal.
You go find our dog.
There's a police report in here
about a guy who's been spotted down at the beach
trying to have sex with conch shells.
Oh, I know that dude.
He's not a bad guy, just has a type.
Hey!
The sound system at the restaurant is acting up.
I don't know. Tommy wants to know if you can come fix it.
Sure.
Whoa.
Tommy's air freshener kind of smells like
the inside of my grandma's purse.
Yeah.
Mind if I ride in the back?
Oh.
I mean, suit yourself.
- This might take a while. - Damn it.
Make yourself at home, buddy.
You got a light?
Yeah, you got an extra ciggy, I do.
Sure.
- Thank you. - Uh-huh.
Oh, thank you.
- You live around here? - On vacation... kinda.
It's a working vacation.
I'm, um... I am writing a book...
- Hmm. - ... about, uh...
About out-of-body experiences.
- Mm! - Yeah. So, I rented a house.
I kind of thought the peace and quiet would help me focus,
but I'm kind of going a little stir-crazy.
Yeah, you seem a little antsy.
- Too much coffee? - Something like that.
Mm-hmm. Still got a little
"something like that" under your nose.
Oh, shit.
I-It helps me write.
I don't... I don't do it every day.
Just a couple lines in the morning.
Mmm!
That's good shit.
_
And then God looks at me,
and he goes, "Angel, what's with those pants?"
It's like, "Well, what do you mean, God?"
What you talking about... The style, the color?
"What exactly is your beef with my choice of dungarees?"
And then he just stares at me for a while.
Now, I hesitate saying it was a sexual stare,
what, with him being God and all,
but I think he wanted me to take off my pants.
You know what? I bet he did.
He's probably a freak. I mean, come on.
You don't make every woman scream your name during sex
if you're not super into yourself.
Right.
I found the problem.
Baby, I think we got to get in the car.
I'm pretty sure I see a nose.
Oh, God. Okay, okay. Uh, I'm gonna go get my purse.
- You have rats. - Shh!
What are you talking about? We don't have rats in here.
Something chewed these things up good.
I need to go buy more wires.
I can go with you to buy more wire if you want.
You know, if you just, like, need some help
picking out a color.
There's a RadioShack right near my apartment.
I thought they went out of business.
Me too.
No, but this one's still open.
I guess nobody told them. It can be our little secret.
- I don't like secrets. - I don't like secrets, either.
I think we should tell them.
- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. - Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar.
- Shi-i-i-t! - Sugar-r-r-r!
I'll take that one.
- Here we are. - Whew.
You got a dog!
- Oh, yeah. - Oh, I love dogs.
What's his name?
Uh, Tater Tot?
Tater Tot.
Okay, baby.
Mm. There we go.
- How's it going? - Oh, great.
It is going... so great.
I'm just here to get the roofies. Roofies.
? With so much drama in the L-B-C ?
? It's kinda hard bein' Snoop D-O-double-G ?
? But I, somehow, some way ?
? Keep comin' up with funky-ass shit nearly every single day ?
? And can I kick a little somethin' for the G's? ?
? And make a few friends is a breeze through ?
? Don't you know it's 2:00 in the mornin' ?
? And the party's still jumpin' ?
? 'Cause my mama ain't home ?
? And I'll be rollin' down the street, smokin' Indo ?
? Sippin' on gin and juice, laid back ?
? With my mind on my money and my money on my mind ?
? So later on that day ?
? My homey Dr. Dre ?
? He came by with a gang of Tanqueray ?
? And a fat-ass J of some bubonic chronic ?
? You know it made me choke ?
? It ain't no joke, I had to back up off of it ?
? Set my cup of gin down ?
? Don't you know, Tanqueray and chronic ?
? Well, I'm up now ?
What the hell's going on?
Well, you're in the hospital.
And, um, I don't know how to...
To tell you this, um,
but you were under the influence of some substances,
and it appears that you...
Ate a woman's dog.
I what?
You ate a dog.
Oh.
But you just have to remember that it wasn't you.
It was the drugs.
Addiction is serious,
and there are a lot of ways that you can get help.
I ate a dog?
That's insane!
Well, I guess I ain't a vegetarian no more.
You must...
You're probably just still a little bit high.
I contacted your brother. He's on his way to come get...
Wait, what? Steve?
- Yes, Steve. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
Not Steve. No! No. Steve's a buzzkill.
- Wait. Buzzkill? - No. Mnh-mnh!
Mnh-mnh! No!
Up high!
I was right. This is gonna be a tough one.
Can't believe she thinks she ate a dog,
- and she still wanted to get high. - Hmm.
Guy in Miami couldn't hand over
those bath salts quick enough.
Which reminds me, what did we do with those?
My back's a little tight. I could use a soak.
Just in and out, okay?
Just hold it in for five seconds and then let it out.
How long are the contractions?
Uh, we are not here right now.
I told you we are not here until midnight, so you can't talk to us.
Ohh. Do you think you can get me some ice chips, honey?
Um...
- They're free. - Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
How much does the baby either look like
or not look like the father when it's born?
Was the other guy you had sex with
the same color as your fiancé?
Kinda. I mean...
According to the paint swatches at Lowe's,
uh, my fiancé's more of a summer linen.
The other guy is a toasted coconut.
Well, as long as your fiancé isn't a house painter,
I'd say you should be safe for a while.
Dr. Elton to the emergency room.
Billy's back.
Hey, Steve, um, I hope you get this.
Listen, we're just, uh... We're running a little behind
schedule. Nothing... Nothing to worry about, and...
Hey, Shelley, I can't see through this wrinkled glass.
She's back. Hey, hey, answer the door.
Shelley!
Sorry I ate your pet.
I could not find you another dog,
but I caught you a parrot.
Mm.
Oh.
Shit.
Oh, I got oxy. Ah.
Take two, and we'll be riding the same cloud.
What, uh... What's going on?
She's making snow angels on the shag carpet.
Oh, you know what? You ought to hydrate.
- Mm-hmm, yeah. - All right, listen.
We got another shot at this before her brother gets here,
so we got to think about what we can do
to make this lunatic hit rock bottom.
I got it.
We make her believe she had sex with an 8-year-old.
- What? - It's great.
See, you go, and you find an 8-year-old boy.
And then you lure him in here
with one of those spinner things.
And then as soon as she's passed out,
we strip them both naked and put them in the bed together.
Yeah, I'm not luring an 8-year-old anywhere.
Okay. So, we'll get a midget.
But you have to shave him so he looks 8.
And I'm also not shaving a midget.
Do whatever you want, man. It's cool.
Meantime, I'm gonna go knock her out, so give me a roofie.
No, I'm not giving her two roofies in the same day,
no matter how in shape her heart is from all the cocaine.
- It's not safe. - Fine.
Then... we'll go old-school.
I'll drink her under the table.
Who the hell were you yelling at in there?
I saw a ghost.
Rock Bottom Industries.
Hey, it's Steve.
Hey, um, listen.
We're gonna need another hour.
An hour?
What the hell?! You promised me this would be safe!
- It usually is. - You were the ones who got her drunk.
You were the ones who drugged her.
I thought you said you were a doctor!
Practically a doctor!
Practically. There were no guarantees.
And you were the one who told us she loved dogs,
so who was wrong about that, huh?
What happened?
Oh, look who's up.
Oh, shit. I must have passed out before her.
Oh, you didn't shave a midget, did you?
I started thinking about one I went to high school with,
and I felt kind of bad about it.
She's dead!
- What?! - We gotta go. We gotta go.
- What's hap... - Come on. Let's go.
If I were you, I'd leave her out on the beach.
And remember, you hired us, so you're equally responsible.
Come on, come on.
You okay?
I just still can't believe it.
Look, it's not our fault, Shelley.
That woman was gonna die at some point,
and there was nothing that anyone could have done about it.
I just can't believe I'm still alive.
We both did the same drugs.
How come she's gone and I'm not?
What are you talking about? You were faking the drugs.
I haven't faked it for over a year.
Oh, honey.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I think I need help.
Okay.
We'll get you some help.
Well, that worked like a charm.
I was so nervous.
I thought for sure she was going to figure out
I was faking the drugs.
Yeah, tell me about it.
She almost caught me slipping a roofie into her water.
She's making snow angels on the shag carpet.
I can't believe we pulled it off.
Well, when I saw you in that improv
show, I knew you could do it.
Mm. Thank you, but most of that
stuff is planned out beforehand.
We tell the audience it isn't, but it really is.
Wait. Are you telling me that all improv is fake?
- Yep. - Yep.
Huh.
You think it'd be better. Well, thanks.
I never thought I'd be on the other side of this.
Hey, how long's she going away for?
90 days.
Good for her.
Rock Bottom Industries?
Um, sure. One... One second, sir.
Could you hold... I am trying to do business right now.
? Baby, I know there's somethin' you're not tellin' me ?
? Darlin', you were a weight on every smile ?
? Honey, I can see your lips just tremblin' ?
? Achin' just to break and tell me why ?
? But I-I-I-I don't wanna know ?
? Don't spill, baby, don't confess ?
? I don't wanna love you less ?
? I-I-I-I-I don't want to hear ?
? Something that'll crush me, dear ?
? I don't wanna know ?
? I do ?
? Wanna see you laughin' loud ?
? I do want you and me ?
? To hover up above the ground ?
? I-I-I-I-I don't wanna know ?
I'm sorry. The keys have got to be here somewhere.
I'm just a bit out of sorts.
My fiancée gave birth last week,
and I haven't really been sleeping.
I looked down. I shouldn't have looked down.
Oh, well, not a problem.
My family doesn't arrive till the evening.
Normally I'd be counting the seconds, but I'm cured.
Hey, Vivian, could you check and see
if the keys to the beach house are back there?
Okay!
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com -