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credits

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All right.

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Thanks for comin' in today

4
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to discuss your daughter's
behavior, m'kay.

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Exactly what kind of trouble is
Shelley in, Mr. Mackey?

6
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Well, unfortunately,
we found out

7
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our playground monitor
has been accepting favors

8
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to look the other way at recess
and, uh...

9
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your daughter sent him
an inappropriate picture.

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Of her butthole, m'kay.

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Her butthole?
Shelley!

12
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Why would the recess monitor

13
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want a picture
of my daughter's butthole?!

14
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We've been having
a lot of issues at the school

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with kids vaping lately,

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and they bribe
the recess monitor

17
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however they can.

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Jesus Christ!

19
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How much worse can things
get around here?!

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M'kay, but... but there
is good news, m'kay.

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We had the picture analyzed,
and it turns out it was

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actually just a picture
of a dog's butthole,

23
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m'kay, that your daughter
claimed was hers.

24
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M'kay, there it is...
A little fur right there.

25
00:01:30,285 --> 00:01:32,731
Seriously?
Dog's butthole?

26
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That's what we're
doing now, huh?

27
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There's not enough bad things
in the world?

28
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We get called into school,
here's a dog's butthole for ya.

29
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That's what it's all
come to, Shelley!?

30
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I'm over it, Sharon.
I am seriously over it.

31
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Don't you wanna just start over?
Go back to simpler times?

32
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What do you mean?

33
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,526
I've had it... school shootings,

34
00:01:55,551 --> 00:01:57,924
pieces of shit
taking Ambien and tweeting,

35
00:01:57,949 --> 00:02:00,557
priests raping kids,
and somehow...

36
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I'm not laughing anymore.

37
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Let's do it, Sharon,
what I've always talked about.

38
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Let's get outta here.

39
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,533
Go buy a farm
and live off the land.

40
00:02:08,558 --> 00:02:10,338
Are you being serious?

41
00:02:10,511 --> 00:02:12,095
I've never been more serious.

42
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Hey, the lights green!

43
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Shut up, Nelson!

44
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Let's move out to the country.

45
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Go back to simple living
when things mattered,

46
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,908
like hard work and tegridy.

47
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How will we make a living?

48
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By growing things

49
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,159
and selling what we make
with our hands.

50
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We can do this, Sharon.

51
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It's time.

52
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? This ol' world is
gettin' to me ?

53
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? There's just no trust,
no tegridy ?

54
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? So, I loaded up the kids,
took my wife by the arm ?

55
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? And I moved on out
to a Colorado farm ?

56
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? Now it's early to bed,
early to rise ?

57
00:02:58,330 --> 00:03:00,859
? The crops are plowed,
and it's no surprise ?

58
00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,658
? City folks are fightin',
and I don't give a darn ?

59
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,489
? Darn

60
00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:07,252
? Cause I make my livin'
on a Colorado farm ?

61
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,489
? I gotta drive the tractor,
gotta cut the grass ?

62
00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:16,489
? Chut-chut goes the baler
like it's never gonna last ?

63
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:19,306
? There's food in the kitchen,
and there's bud in the barn ?

64
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:20,326
? Barn

65
00:03:20,351 --> 00:03:23,158
? That's life
livin' on a Colorado farm ?

66
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? Ice cold beer, pickup truck

67
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? Country music,
listin' shit ?

68
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? We've got tegridy
to keep us warm ?

69
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? That's what you get
on a Colorado Farm ?

70
00:03:40,724 --> 00:03:42,933
? And I'm gonna stay
on a Colorado Farm ?

71
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Shit...

72
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So, just like that?

73
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Your parents sold your house
and everything?

74
00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:54,266
Yeah, it takes me like an hour
to get to school now.

75
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It sucks.

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All because Shelley bribed
the playground monitor

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to let her vape during recess.

78
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Why would your sister want

79
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to get addicted to those things?

80
00:04:01,363 --> 00:04:04,173
Well your little brother
does it too, Kyle.

81
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:05,711
What are you talking about?

82
00:04:06,064 --> 00:04:06,955
You didn't know?

83
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The kindergartners are, like,

84
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:09,869
the biggest vapers
at this school.

85
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Vroom, vroom.

86
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I am a truck!

87
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Watch out for the monster!

88
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Ike!

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Ike, do you have a vaping pen?!

90
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Nope.

91
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,195
Dude! Gimme that!

92
00:04:25,244 --> 00:04:27,489
Hey!
Gimme back my vaporizer!

93
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What is this?

94
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Cherry-flavored nicotine?!
Are you joking?

95
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Aw, come on!
All the kids are doing it.

96
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:36,922
Yeah!
I like lemon flavor!

97
00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:39,024
I like raspberry!

98
00:04:39,049 --> 00:04:40,489
Why do you want nicotine?!

99
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:44,172
Do you know how hard it is
being a kindergartner?

100
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We need a break sometimes!

101
00:04:46,490 --> 00:04:49,050
These things are bad for you,
do you understand?!

102
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Bad kindergartners!

103
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Relax, bitch.

104
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Try some gummy bear surprise.

105
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All right.
Where'd you guys get these?

106
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Mornin', Joe.
How's the farmin'?

107
00:05:14,169 --> 00:05:15,625
Doing good, neighbor.

108
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Just planted some
Purple Skunky Kush.

109
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Harvested the Super Hindu Haze
last week.

110
00:05:21,095 --> 00:05:23,289
Well that's fine,
Joe, just fine.

111
00:05:23,314 --> 00:05:26,024
I'm growin' some
Green Willy Stranger myself.

112
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And the Catatonic Tegridy Bud
is takin' well.

113
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Well, see ya 'round, neighbor!

114
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So long, Joe!

115
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Kindergartners said
it's some big kid

116
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in a trench coat.

117
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Hey, look!

118
00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:42,832
That's gotta be him.

119
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What are you gonna do?

120
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I'm gonna tell him
if he sells a vape pen

121
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to my brother again,
I'm gonna kick his ass!

122
00:05:48,441 --> 00:05:49,440
Hey, you!

123
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,859
Oh! Hey, fellas!

124
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:52,797
Butters?!

125
00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:54,489
What are you guys doin?

126
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,489
Butters, are you selling vapes?

127
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,039
Well, sure!
Whatcha lookin' for?!

128
00:05:58,064 --> 00:06:01,489
I've got strawberry, vanilla,
tropical passion...

129
00:06:01,514 --> 00:06:03,408
- What?!
- Tropical passion.

130
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:04,688
It's like mango and kiwi.

131
00:06:04,939 --> 00:06:06,274
Butters, you understand
this stuff is

132
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,489
an epidemic at our school?!

133
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:10,031
Yeah, and at five bucks a pop,
we're gonna be rich!

134
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:12,220
Butters, this is for Kyle.

135
00:06:12,245 --> 00:06:13,916
Oof!

136
00:06:16,015 --> 00:06:18,014
Randy, I think we need
to have a talk.

137
00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:19,258
No time to talk.

138
00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:21,924
The agricultural inspector's
about to drop by.

139
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,588
Once we get certified from him,

140
00:06:23,613 --> 00:06:25,612
we can start selling
like a real farm.

141
00:06:26,015 --> 00:06:27,416
Have patience, wife.

142
00:06:27,441 --> 00:06:29,267
Soon our fortunes will change.

143
00:06:31,085 --> 00:06:32,330
Ooh, that must be him now!

144
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:37,258
Yes, I'm with
the State testing board.

145
00:06:37,283 --> 00:06:40,014
Is this...
Tegridy Farms?

146
00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:42,955
Name's right there on the sign.
Come on back!

147
00:06:45,015 --> 00:06:47,014
So, with this Vestin device,

148
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:50,014
I can check not only
the THC levels in your product,

149
00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:53,486
but also detect any impurities
and give you a final score

150
00:06:53,511 --> 00:06:55,830
based on overall
chemical makeup.

151
00:07:01,015 --> 00:07:01,799
Yep.

152
00:07:01,824 --> 00:07:03,220
That's good shit.

153
00:07:03,687 --> 00:07:07,642
Now let me test the levels
in your organic house blend.

154
00:07:11,679 --> 00:07:13,377
Yep.
That's good shit.

155
00:07:14,632 --> 00:07:16,990
Now what about
the Tegridy Jungle Bud?

156
00:07:17,015 --> 00:07:18,502
Let's test it out.

157
00:07:25,015 --> 00:07:26,014
Whoa.

158
00:07:26,015 --> 00:07:26,990
Yeah?

159
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,014
Whoa.
Yeeeah?!

160
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,234
I don't know what tegridy is,

161
00:07:31,259 --> 00:07:33,392
but that is some good shit!

162
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,795
All right!

163
00:07:35,658 --> 00:07:37,853
? Five, five dollar

164
00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:39,986
? Five-dollar footlooong

165
00:07:43,686 --> 00:07:44,685
Butters?!

166
00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:45,990
Why'd you punch me, Eric?!

167
00:07:46,015 --> 00:07:46,892
I had to!

168
00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:48,330
I thought we were partners!

169
00:07:48,355 --> 00:07:49,900
Butters, next time
when Kyle walks up to you

170
00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:51,572
and says "Are you
selling vape stuff,"

171
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,439
You say,
"No, I am not, Kyle."

172
00:07:53,464 --> 00:07:54,822
You punched me in the face!

173
00:07:54,847 --> 00:07:56,884
Butters, we have to be
extra cautious right now

174
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:58,416
or else we're...
Hang on, hang on...

175
00:08:00,466 --> 00:08:01,609
Hang on.

176
00:08:02,835 --> 00:08:03,877
Hang on.

177
00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:07,720
Okay, we have to be
extra cautious, Butters.

178
00:08:07,745 --> 00:08:09,744
The whole operation is
in a period of transition.

179
00:08:09,874 --> 00:08:11,455
What's that supposed to mean?!

180
00:08:11,522 --> 00:08:13,521
In case you haven't noticed,
we're falling behind.

181
00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:15,545
We haven't sold enough product
to pay off our overhead.

182
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,525
The people I bought from
are on my ass!

183
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:18,736
Everything costs money, Butters.

184
00:08:18,761 --> 00:08:20,533
The pens, the juice,
even that jacket I got you.

185
00:08:20,558 --> 00:08:21,666
We can't start
getting sloppy now.

186
00:08:21,691 --> 00:08:22,564
Do you understand?

187
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:23,634
Well, I don't know
how this means

188
00:08:23,659 --> 00:08:24,713
you can go and punch me
in the face...

189
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,533
Everything will make sense,
Butters, I told you.

190
00:08:26,558 --> 00:08:28,299
Just stick with the plan, okay?

191
00:08:32,327 --> 00:08:33,830
Did you know that vaping
is way healthier

192
00:08:33,855 --> 00:08:35,267
than smoking cigarettes?

193
00:08:40,015 --> 00:08:41,014
All right, everyone!

194
00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,728
Who's ready for some
farm-to-table supper?!

195
00:08:43,753 --> 00:08:45,752
We've got some hemp milk here...

196
00:08:45,777 --> 00:08:47,776
hemp-oil and vinegar
bruschetta...

197
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,650
some hemp seed tabouli.

198
00:08:49,675 --> 00:08:51,675
And guess what the napkins
are made from?

199
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,134
Oh, wonder who that could be.

200
00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:03,642
Howdy.
What can I do ya for?

201
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,666
Is this Tegridy Farms?

202
00:09:06,015 --> 00:09:08,502
Yeah, name's right there
on the sign.

203
00:09:08,527 --> 00:09:10,526
Our company is interested
in your product.

204
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,990
We'd like to do some business
with you.

205
00:09:12,015 --> 00:09:13,931
Really?!
Hey, that'd be great!

206
00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,049
What kind of company...

207
00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:19,094
We're one of the top
vape companies

208
00:09:19,119 --> 00:09:20,014
in the state.

209
00:09:20,015 --> 00:09:22,252
We'd like to add your product
to our line.

210
00:09:22,619 --> 00:09:24,353
Oh, no. Sorry.

211
00:09:24,378 --> 00:09:27,517
I don't want my Tegridy Bud
put in those pussy sticks.

212
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:29,224
Pussy sticks?

213
00:09:29,225 --> 00:09:30,345
Yeah, you know...

214
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,109
Penis pen, wussy vape,
lady joints.

215
00:09:32,134 --> 00:09:34,353
Not on my farm, no sirree.

216
00:09:34,378 --> 00:09:35,990
You got a problem with vaping?!

217
00:09:36,015 --> 00:09:38,861
It's cleaner and healthier
than traditional smoking!

218
00:09:38,886 --> 00:09:39,861
That's nice.

219
00:09:39,886 --> 00:09:41,767
Now, hows about
you take that pussy stick

220
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:43,791
and get off my farm
before I shove it up your ass

221
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,422
and you're blowing mist
out your butthole.

222
00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:46,822
All right.

223
00:09:47,562 --> 00:09:49,070
You can be a part of progress

224
00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:50,877
or you can get run over by it.

225
00:09:50,902 --> 00:09:51,901
Yeah, whatever.

226
00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:53,627
All you're doin' is
blowin' smoke...

227
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:55,990
Sorry, "fruity steam."
Pussy.

228
00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:57,736
What happened to your accent?

229
00:09:57,761 --> 00:09:59,861
Go vape some more, ya puss.

230
00:10:01,092 --> 00:10:02,853
You'll be sorry!

231
00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:12,735
I need to speak
with the principal.

232
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,681
Okay.
What is it regarding?

233
00:10:14,706 --> 00:10:16,213
I'd rather just talk to him.

234
00:10:16,238 --> 00:10:18,228
Right through there,
you're second in line.

235
00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:22,187
- Oh, hey, Kyle.
- Hi, Kyle!

236
00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:23,632
What are you up to?

237
00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:25,307
You know what I'm up to.

238
00:10:25,332 --> 00:10:26,533
Okay, cool.
But come check this out.

239
00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:27,674
- This is really cool...
- Don't touch me.

240
00:10:27,699 --> 00:10:29,019
- Just come... No, just come see.
- D-D-Don't touch me.

241
00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:30,044
This is really cool

242
00:10:32,813 --> 00:10:35,324
You know, Kyle,
people all need a way to relax.

243
00:10:35,349 --> 00:10:37,488
And there's no proof
that vaping is that bad for you.

244
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,253
You're selling it
to kindergartners!

245
00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:40,831
Kindergartners need a break,
too, Kyle!

246
00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,855
You know they
took away their nap time.

247
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,113
- You're such penises.
- Would you rather

248
00:10:45,138 --> 00:10:46,214
the kindergartners
smoke cigarettes?

249
00:10:46,239 --> 00:10:48,238
Would you rather they drank?!
That's not good!

250
00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:49,769
Kyle! Kyle, Kyle!
Okay, okay!

251
00:10:49,794 --> 00:10:50,995
Just please listen, all right?

252
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,152
The truth is...
we want out.

253
00:10:53,177 --> 00:10:54,925
Butters and I thought we
could just make some easy money.

254
00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:56,300
But you gotta pay off
the sixth graders,

255
00:10:56,325 --> 00:10:57,691
then you gotta pay off
the recess monitor

256
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:58,715
to look the other way.

257
00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:59,739
We're in deep, Kyle.

258
00:10:59,764 --> 00:11:01,511
Just let us sell enough
to get out of debt,

259
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,167
And we will stop, I swear it.

260
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,753
You're so full of shit.

261
00:11:04,778 --> 00:11:06,636
Come on, Kyle.
We all make mistakes.

262
00:11:06,661 --> 00:11:08,409
Did you already forget
last week?

263
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:09,722
You know...

264
00:11:10,372 --> 00:11:12,371
Ronan Farrow was here
asking about you.

265
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,863
Ronan Farrow?
No, he wasn't.

266
00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:16,659
Yes, Kyle.
He was right over there!

267
00:11:16,984 --> 00:11:18,292
Just, please, give us two days

268
00:11:18,317 --> 00:11:20,089
to make back the money we need
to get out from under this,

269
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,113
and we will stop.

270
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,137
You have my word.

271
00:11:22,454 --> 00:11:25,331
Fine. But no more pushing it
on little kids, you got that?

272
00:11:25,356 --> 00:11:27,886
Okay. I'll focus my marketing
another direction.

273
00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:29,503
Thank you, Kyle.

274
00:11:49,236 --> 00:11:50,995
What ya doin', Joe?

275
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,759
Oh, hey, Randy!
We, uh, we sold the farm.

276
00:11:54,128 --> 00:11:55,527
Just like that, huh?

277
00:11:55,552 --> 00:11:57,417
You gonna let those people
with pussy sticks

278
00:11:57,442 --> 00:11:58,824
take over everything?

279
00:11:59,069 --> 00:12:00,478
Yeah.
They paid us great!

280
00:12:00,503 --> 00:12:02,502
My wife and I are gonna move
to Maui!

281
00:12:02,527 --> 00:12:03,526
Oh.

282
00:12:03,736 --> 00:12:06,503
Well, I hope you didn't
pack your tegridy.

283
00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:10,839
'Cause clearly...
your tegridy ain't goin'.

284
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,573
Are you still here?

285
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:23,253
I-I didn't know
chickens wore suspenders.

286
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:25,376
Agh.

287
00:12:30,214 --> 00:12:32,394
Man, am I feeling tired!

288
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,418
All this hard work at school?

289
00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:37,442
Yeah! I wish I had
a little pick-me-up!

290
00:12:37,467 --> 00:12:39,659
Something fresh and fruity
to go with my lunch!

291
00:12:39,684 --> 00:12:42,222
Just stop. It's so obvious
what you guys are doing.

292
00:12:42,247 --> 00:12:44,152
It sounds so great right now!

293
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:47,058
Can anyone help with some
fun, fruity flavors?

294
00:12:50,626 --> 00:12:52,605
Oh, yeah!

295
00:12:54,424 --> 00:12:56,816
Hey, guys, it's the Vaping Man!

296
00:12:56,885 --> 00:12:59,089
What are you doing here,
Vaping Man?

297
00:12:59,114 --> 00:13:01,860
I'm here to offer
my fun, fruity flavors

298
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:03,644
in a refreshing mist.

299
00:13:03,713 --> 00:13:06,027
Vaping?
Hey, that's bad for you.

300
00:13:06,634 --> 00:13:08,634
Vaping's only for cool kids.

301
00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:11,089
Can I talk to you for a second?

302
00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:12,550
Sure, Kyle.
What is this about?

303
00:13:12,575 --> 00:13:13,988
Can I talk to you over here?

304
00:13:14,013 --> 00:13:15,013
Well, of course.

305
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,675
What did I say about pushing it
on little kids?

306
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,495
How is this pushing it
on little kids, Kyle?

307
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,120
Fun, fruity Vaping Man?!

308
00:13:22,145 --> 00:13:23,144
It's marketing!

309
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:25,120
Kyle, we have to make the money
to pay off our dealer.

310
00:13:25,145 --> 00:13:26,539
How else are we supposed
to do it?

311
00:13:26,564 --> 00:13:28,956
All right, how much
do you owe the dealer?

312
00:13:28,981 --> 00:13:30,847
- Why?
- How much?

313
00:13:36,507 --> 00:13:37,874
Isn't this great, Stan?

314
00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:39,348
Living off the land.

315
00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,171
No, it sucks.
I hate this.

316
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,437
I wanna go back home.

317
00:13:42,462 --> 00:13:44,461
Well, you see that?
We're talkin' now.

318
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,445
When was the last time
we really talked like this?

319
00:13:47,885 --> 00:13:49,687
I hate you so much.

320
00:13:50,016 --> 00:13:52,151
I think we're having
a breakthrough moment.

321
00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:54,641
I want to give
you something, son.

322
00:13:54,783 --> 00:13:57,516
Something I made
that I want you to have.

323
00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:59,540
- It's a hemp hat.
- No.

324
00:13:59,565 --> 00:14:01,118
Come on.
Let's just see how it fits.

325
00:14:01,143 --> 00:14:02,063
Please, no.

326
00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:04,087
Here just... just look.
Just try it.

327
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:07,422
? One, two princes kneel
before you ?

328
00:14:08,908 --> 00:14:09,907
? One, two
Whoa.

329
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,102
? Princes kneel before you

330
00:14:13,447 --> 00:14:15,087
? That's what I said, now

331
00:14:15,112 --> 00:14:16,212
? Princes

332
00:14:18,977 --> 00:14:19,977
There you go,

333
00:14:20,002 --> 00:14:21,782
and thanks for shopping
at Big Vape.

334
00:14:26,885 --> 00:14:27,782
That's him.

335
00:14:27,807 --> 00:14:28,806
That's my guy.

336
00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:30,831
There you are.
You got my money?

337
00:14:30,978 --> 00:14:31,978
Kyle.

338
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,618
Look, my friend is very stupid

339
00:14:34,643 --> 00:14:36,852
and should have never gone
into business with you.

340
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:37,938
Who are you?

341
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:39,860
I'm just seeing if I can
help settle things.

342
00:14:39,885 --> 00:14:41,087
You probably don't realize it,

343
00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:43,290
but vaping is a really big
problem at our school.

344
00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:44,704
Look, I'm just filling a job

345
00:14:44,729 --> 00:14:46,469
that somebody else
would fill, all right?

346
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,493
Okay, look,
this is the money I've saved up

347
00:14:48,518 --> 00:14:49,727
from my past three birthdays.

348
00:14:49,752 --> 00:14:51,422
Can we call this even
and end it?

349
00:14:51,814 --> 00:14:52,813
Aw, come on, man.

350
00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:54,524
I don't want to take
your birthday money.

351
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,516
Whoa.
Hey, dude.

352
00:14:55,541 --> 00:14:57,196
Why is there
a dead hooker next to you?

353
00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:58,220
- What?
- What?

354
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,399
Dude, that is a dead hooker.
What are you doing with it?

355
00:15:00,424 --> 00:15:01,423
I'm calling the cops!

356
00:15:01,448 --> 00:15:02,897
You just put
that dead hooker there.

357
00:15:02,922 --> 00:15:03,946
Cartman, what are you doing?

358
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,485
There's a dead hooker
at the vape store!

359
00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:06,649
There!

360
00:15:06,885 --> 00:15:07,884
Ow!
Oh, shit!

361
00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:09,477
Get the vaporizers and the cash!

362
00:15:09,502 --> 00:15:10,352
Get the cash, Kyle!

363
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,430
W-What... What are you doing?

364
00:15:11,455 --> 00:15:13,579
- Just get the... Oh, shit!
Ronan Farrow! - What?!

365
00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:14,704
Get the stuff
and the cash!

366
00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:16,571
Ronan Farrow, Kyle!
We got to get out of here!

367
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,532
Bless us, Lord,
and our little cannabis farm.

368
00:15:21,681 --> 00:15:24,141
And may we always keep
our tegridy.

369
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:25,485
Amen.

370
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:28,523
So, how was everyone's day?

371
00:15:28,885 --> 00:15:30,540
Uh, well, not great.

372
00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:32,885
Uh, Stan got caught
with a vaping pen.

373
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:35,594
With a what?!

374
00:15:35,619 --> 00:15:36,493
You know, those little

375
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,165
pen and cartridge things
with the mist?

376
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:39,189
Stan had a vape pen?

377
00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:42,214
You had a vaping...
Get up to your room right now!

378
00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:46,002
Way to underreact, Sharon!

379
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:49,554
Where did you get this?

380
00:15:49,885 --> 00:15:52,321
It's not mine.
I took it from a kindergartner.

381
00:15:52,346 --> 00:15:53,516
Yeah, right.

382
00:15:53,775 --> 00:15:56,133
My own son using a pussy stick.

383
00:15:56,158 --> 00:15:59,157
Don't you know what these things
are doing to our way of life?

384
00:15:59,351 --> 00:16:00,633
I've had enough!

385
00:16:00,885 --> 00:16:01,885
What are you gonna do?

386
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,774
You think I'm just gonna
stand around

387
00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:05,618
while they destroy my family?

388
00:16:05,643 --> 00:16:07,642
We've worked
this farm and this land

389
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,415
for over four days.

390
00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:11,649
I'm not about to let
some vape queens

391
00:16:11,674 --> 00:16:13,540
take it all away from us.

392
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,586
Oh, hello, Kyle!

393
00:16:22,611 --> 00:16:24,090
Mr. Mackey, I need
to talk to you

394
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:25,754
about some things
going on at school.

395
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,799
M'kay.
Like what?

396
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,799
Oh, hi, Kyle!

397
00:16:29,149 --> 00:16:30,430
Hey, Kyle!

398
00:16:31,393 --> 00:16:32,547
We were just talking
to the counselor

399
00:16:32,572 --> 00:16:33,775
about some college
opportunities.

400
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:34,799
What are you doing here?

401
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,610
You know what I'm doing here!

402
00:16:36,635 --> 00:16:39,077
- Okay, well, we really should
talk first, Kyle. - No.

403
00:16:39,102 --> 00:16:40,555
Mr. Mackey, there's a big
operation going on at the school.

404
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:41,579
Kyle, things have changed.
You need to listen.

405
00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:43,337
Things are getting out of control... Kyle,
Kyle, just one minute. You want to hear this.

406
00:16:43,362 --> 00:16:44,508
...and you need to know what's going on!
You need to hear this!

407
00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:46,532
What?! We'll be right
back, Mr. Mackey.

408
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,800
M'kay!

409
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:49,799
Let go of me!

410
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,799
Kyle, listen.
It's bad.

411
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,799
What's bad?

412
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,719
The guy we tried to frame
at the vape shop.

413
00:16:53,744 --> 00:16:55,743
He was the one who the sixth
graders got their shit from.

414
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,799
The sixth graders
are pissed at us, Kyle.

415
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,094
We have to break
into the vape shop

416
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,051
and steal enough stuff to make
the sixth graders happy.

417
00:17:01,076 --> 00:17:02,960
You guys decided
to beat up the dealer.

418
00:17:02,985 --> 00:17:05,610
- Yeah, but the sixth graders
know you were there! - How?

419
00:17:05,635 --> 00:17:06,976
'Cause Eric told them!

420
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:08,696
We are all in this
together, Kyle!

421
00:17:08,721 --> 00:17:09,774
We got to rob the vape shop,

422
00:17:09,799 --> 00:17:11,383
and then we can put this
all behind us.

423
00:17:11,636 --> 00:17:13,891
Please, Kyle, we still got
to pay people off.

424
00:17:17,323 --> 00:17:18,775
Oh, yeah!

425
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,799
- Hey, bitches!
- Where's my mother money?

426
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,438
Run!
Aah!

427
00:17:32,464 --> 00:17:36,463
? We're not indestructible

428
00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:40,247
? Baby,
better get that straight ?

429
00:17:40,272 --> 00:17:43,511
? I think it's unbelievable

430
00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:46,535
? How you give in
to the hands of fate ?

431
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,219
? One, two, princes
kneel before you ?

432
00:17:50,244 --> 00:17:51,594
? That's what I said

433
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,016
Randy, where are you going?

434
00:17:56,414 --> 00:17:58,909
Gonna go fight
for my children's future.

435
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:19,659
All right, you bunch
of vape-smoking pussies.

436
00:18:21,312 --> 00:18:23,311
You try and take my way of life?

437
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,405
Time to show you some tegridy.

438
00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:28,491
Tegridy?
What's tegridy?

439
00:18:29,391 --> 00:18:30,491
Yeah!

440
00:18:30,492 --> 00:18:31,491
Ow!

441
00:18:31,492 --> 00:18:33,491
Ouch! Hey!

442
00:18:33,492 --> 00:18:36,188
Hyah!
Hyah!

443
00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:38,212
Owie!

444
00:18:38,906 --> 00:18:43,164
Get your stupid mist
out of my fucking face!

445
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,467
Hey!
I like to vape.

446
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,491
You think I'm a pussy?

447
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:48,491
Yup.

448
00:18:48,492 --> 00:18:50,492
Ow!

449
00:18:53,118 --> 00:18:55,665
Wow. You're so smart to think
of a siphon, Kyle!

450
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:57,491
Just shut up and keep pumping.

451
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,501
What are you kids doing?

452
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,749
Aw, shit!

453
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:05,149
You little hoodlums
break in through the window?

454
00:19:05,174 --> 00:19:07,282
I ought to break
your little legs!

455
00:19:07,782 --> 00:19:09,491
I don't think so.

456
00:19:10,571 --> 00:19:11,911
Mr. Marsh.

457
00:19:12,302 --> 00:19:14,870
Just what the Sam hell
you boys doing here?

458
00:19:14,895 --> 00:19:16,270
All right, listen.

459
00:19:16,295 --> 00:19:18,262
I should have talked
to an adult from the beginning.

460
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,153
Kyle, what are you doing?

461
00:19:19,178 --> 00:19:21,467
There are these three big vaping
syndicates at our school,

462
00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:23,491
- and these guys are one of them.
- Kyle, no, no, no, no.

463
00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:25,302
They had someone buying stuff
from here for them,

464
00:19:25,327 --> 00:19:26,558
and then they sold it to kids.

465
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:27,964
Okay, Kyle,
I'm calling Ronan Farrow.

466
00:19:27,989 --> 00:19:29,847
The sixth graders, these guys,
and Becky Thompson

467
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,753
are all at each other
for control of the playground.

468
00:19:31,778 --> 00:19:33,581
Hello, Ronan?
Eric Cartman. Yeah, hey.

469
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,348
I was going to tell an adult,
but these guys said they'd stop.

470
00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:38,467
So, you know Kyle? Yeah, well,
you're right about him.

471
00:19:38,492 --> 00:19:41,083
It's good you came clean, son.

472
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:42,598
It shows that you've got...

473
00:19:46,614 --> 00:19:48,231
Didn't your mommy teach you

474
00:19:48,256 --> 00:19:50,255
it doesn't pay
to mess with progress?

475
00:19:50,492 --> 00:19:53,208
Yeah. She taught me
somethin' else, too.

476
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:56,106
If you're gonna fight
for your tegridy,

477
00:19:56,661 --> 00:19:58,989
don't forget to bring a towel.

478
00:19:59,492 --> 00:20:01,317
Vape on this, bitch!

479
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,187
Take that, stupid vaping!

480
00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:22,804
Move it, boys!
Come on! Go, go, go!

481
00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:55,702
Does this mean we're out
of the vaping business, fellas?

482
00:21:00,015 --> 00:21:02,132
? It's in you

483
00:21:02,157 --> 00:21:04,156
? It's in me

484
00:21:04,312 --> 00:21:08,538
? A little somethin'
called Tegridy ?

485
00:21:09,843 --> 00:21:11,467
Well, shit.

486
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,960
Looks like we made it
to another sunrise.

487
00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:17,467
Oh, God. This is just gonna
get worse, isn't it?

488
00:21:17,492 --> 00:21:20,491
Yup, son. I think the fight's
just startin'.

489
00:21:20,492 --> 00:21:23,491
Farmers like us
are under attack.

490
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:26,491
Yupper.
We gots a lot of work to do.

491
00:21:26,492 --> 00:21:29,491
We can't let 'em take
what makes us special.

492
00:21:29,492 --> 00:21:33,491
Tegridy Weed from Tegridy Farms.

493
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:37,491
Made with a little
Colorado tegridy.

494
00:21:37,492 --> 00:21:40,492
Comin' soon
to a dispensary near you.

495
00:21:40,796 --> 00:21:45,032
credits