1
00:00:01,608 --> 00:00:03,850
I turned 12 in the summer of 1972...

2
00:00:03,858 --> 00:00:05,726
an awesome time to be a kid.

3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,427
It was the Wild West.

4
00:00:07,462 --> 00:00:09,930
Bike helmets hadn't been
invented yet or car seatbelts

5
00:00:09,964 --> 00:00:12,900
or even normal adult supervision.

6
00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:15,335
Dads weren't around as
much as they are now.

7
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:18,005
Mine was too busy with his job
at a big defense contractor,

8
00:00:18,039 --> 00:00:20,874
keeping our neighborhood safe
from North Vietnamese invasion.

9
00:00:20,909 --> 00:00:23,677
And my mom was busy running the house.

10
00:00:23,711 --> 00:00:25,279
She had a lot on her plate.

11
00:00:25,313 --> 00:00:26,780
Did I mention we were Catholics?

12
00:00:26,814 --> 00:00:30,117
There were eight of us kids, all boys.

13
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That was a lot of
testosterone for one house,

14
00:00:33,054 --> 00:00:35,589
and it was about to become even more.

15
00:00:35,693 --> 00:00:36,693
I just said that one of them

16
00:00:36,694 --> 00:00:38,372
would have to give up
their bed to Lawrence

17
00:00:38,396 --> 00:00:40,330
- for the summer.
- Knock it off.

18
00:00:40,365 --> 00:00:42,933
You are not gonna ruin
your brother's homecoming.

19
00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:45,179
My dad was so excited because
my oldest brother, Lawrence,

20
00:00:45,203 --> 00:00:48,438
filled an obligation all
big Catholic families felt...

21
00:00:48,473 --> 00:00:50,841
sending a son to the seminary.

22
00:00:56,214 --> 00:00:57,214
Having a future priest

23
00:00:57,215 --> 00:00:59,383
was a big source of
status for our family,

24
00:00:59,417 --> 00:01:01,385
putting us way ahead of the Harrigans.

25
00:01:01,419 --> 00:01:03,520
12 kids, and all they
came up with was a nun.

26
00:01:05,757 --> 00:01:07,067
But having Lawrence back from college

27
00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:09,860
made me, the needy middle child,

28
00:01:09,894 --> 00:01:12,863
feel more forgotten than ever.

29
00:01:12,897 --> 00:01:14,665
This is my body,

30
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,967
which will be given up for you.

31
00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:23,840
That was the day I famously
decided to upstage God.

32
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,677
What the hell is wrong with that kid?

33
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,660
You made a spectacle
of yourself in there.

34
00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:34,051
You should be ashamed of yourself.

35
00:01:35,787 --> 00:01:37,097
My family just couldn't appreciate

36
00:01:37,121 --> 00:01:38,755
my lively sense of showmanship.

37
00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:39,790
Clearly, I would need to look

38
00:01:39,791 --> 00:01:42,592
- for a wider, more sophisticated audience.
- _

39
00:01:42,627 --> 00:01:44,995
_

40
00:01:45,029 --> 00:01:46,563
Yes.

41
00:01:46,597 --> 00:01:47,998
Yes, I do.

42
00:01:48,966 --> 00:01:52,536
? I am I, Don Quixote ?

43
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,938
? The Lord of La Mancha ?

44
00:01:54,972 --> 00:02:00,110
? My destiny calls, and I go ?

45
00:02:00,144 --> 00:02:01,355
How's college going anyway, college man?

46
00:02:01,379 --> 00:02:03,880
- Uh, it's...
- There's food!

47
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,083
School's okay. I took a
math class last semester.

48
00:02:06,117 --> 00:02:07,284
They teach math there, too?

49
00:02:07,318 --> 00:02:09,119
Hey. You're embarrassing yourself.

50
00:02:09,153 --> 00:02:11,221
St. Joe's is a
fully-accredited university.

51
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:12,889
You get into Pythagoras' theorem yet?

52
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,292
It's a hell of a theorem, Pythagoras'.

53
00:02:15,326 --> 00:02:17,194
Yeah. I'm a fan.

54
00:02:17,228 --> 00:02:19,262
Bless us, O Lord, and
these, Thy gifts...

55
00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,864
Which we are about to receive

56
00:02:20,898 --> 00:02:23,767
from Thy bounty through
Christ our Lord. Amen.

57
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,404
- Careful.
- This ketchup tastes funny.

58
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,306
It's only different because Mom made it,

59
00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:30,918
and then she put it
in the regular bottle.

60
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,043
- Mom made the ketchup?
- What, His Majesty's so fancy now

61
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:35,545
he can only eat store-bought ketchup?

62
00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:36,924
Lawrence, I want to pick your brain

63
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,049
about how young people
see our president.

64
00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:41,485
I find it informative
hearing all points of view.

65
00:02:41,519 --> 00:02:42,963
Nixon's in the pocket of big business.

66
00:02:42,987 --> 00:02:44,087
Nobody asked you, fathead.

67
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,589
Joey, make room for your brother.

68
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,000
Hey, I wasn't done with my pork chop.

69
00:02:47,024 --> 00:02:48,158
Eat it over the sink.

70
00:02:48,192 --> 00:02:49,960
I mean, is Nixon even on the level?

71
00:02:49,994 --> 00:02:51,405
I mean, what about
that Watergate break-in?

72
00:02:51,429 --> 00:02:53,163
No, no. Nixon had
nothing to do with that.

73
00:02:53,197 --> 00:02:54,975
You know what I call Watergate?

74
00:02:54,999 --> 00:02:56,666
That's phony news.

75
00:02:56,701 --> 00:02:58,735
Would you tell him to cut that racket?

76
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,570
Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

77
00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:02,572
- I'm not upset.
- You seem pretty upset.

78
00:03:02,607 --> 00:03:03,817
- You want to stay out of this?
- You know what?

79
00:03:03,841 --> 00:03:07,744
I actually, uh, promised I'd
drop in and see my friend AJ,

80
00:03:07,779 --> 00:03:10,013
and I promised to go right now,

81
00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:12,983
so I'm gonna go get changed.

82
00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:15,786
? The Lord of La Mancha ?

83
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,788
? A name... ?

84
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,090
Hey. Mom, I have to learn these songs.

85
00:03:20,124 --> 00:03:21,458
Why, so you can scare away bats?

86
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,160
No one wants to hear you caterwauling.

87
00:03:23,194 --> 00:03:25,028
- What is this?
- N... nothing.

88
00:03:25,062 --> 00:03:26,263
Just having fun.

89
00:03:26,297 --> 00:03:28,064
Well, stop that.

90
00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:31,301
What are you really doing?

91
00:03:31,335 --> 00:03:33,503
Okay, I'll tell you, but it's a secret.

92
00:03:33,538 --> 00:03:35,138
I'm auditioning for a very prestigious

93
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,640
children's theater in Hollywood.

94
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:37,674
- Mom!
- No!

95
00:03:37,678 --> 00:03:38,678
Why can't I?

96
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,214
'Cause nobody's driving
you to Hollyweird

97
00:03:40,244 --> 00:03:42,813
- to be in some ridiculous show.
- I could take a bus

98
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,015
- or hitchhike.
- You know I don't approve that,

99
00:03:45,049 --> 00:03:46,149
wasting good money on buses.

100
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,028
Look at me. I'm Timmy. I'm special.

101
00:03:48,052 --> 00:03:50,230
Yeah, no, sorry. We do not have
the wherewithal in this family

102
00:03:50,254 --> 00:03:52,222
for any of you kids to be special.

103
00:03:52,256 --> 00:03:53,867
And thank goodness you mostly
turned out uninteresting,

104
00:03:53,891 --> 00:03:55,125
like Frank here.

105
00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:58,295
Hey. Here's a summer
project... foreign missions.

106
00:03:58,329 --> 00:04:00,063
Poor pagan babies are starving to death,

107
00:04:00,097 --> 00:04:01,208
and the church needs money to save them

108
00:04:01,232 --> 00:04:03,200
by baptizing them before they die.

109
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,144
Something's yours around here,

110
00:04:14,178 --> 00:04:16,313
you really got to hold onto it, okay?

111
00:04:21,085 --> 00:04:23,053
Mommy, my lungs hurt. I have asthma.

112
00:04:23,087 --> 00:04:24,364
No, you don't. We can't afford asthma.

113
00:04:24,388 --> 00:04:27,257
That's just smog. Go
back outside and play.

114
00:04:27,291 --> 00:04:29,526
- Going to bingo tonight with Dad.
- Ooh, he's got you

115
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,661
wearing your collar
like his prize poodle.

116
00:04:31,696 --> 00:04:33,363
Hey, I don't mind you
being the favorite.

117
00:04:33,397 --> 00:04:35,242
It's less pressure on the
rest of us not to suck.

118
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,534
Ah, well, I might be stepping
off the pedestal soon.

119
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,236
I'm not just home for the summer.

120
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:41,738
I'm thinking about not going
back to the seminary at all, man.

121
00:04:41,772 --> 00:04:43,273
Mike and Peggy won't like that.

122
00:04:43,307 --> 00:04:45,008
Well, it's my decision, my life.

123
00:04:45,042 --> 00:04:46,910
You think so? Seriously?

124
00:04:46,944 --> 00:04:49,212
I'm the next in line, so if
you don't join the priesthood,

125
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,580
they'll definitely make me.

126
00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:52,182
When Notre Dame beat Michigan State,

127
00:04:52,216 --> 00:04:53,717
Dad promised God one priest.

128
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,519
- Just tell 'em "no."
- I'm not you.

129
00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:58,755
I don't get to grow my hair
and argue politics with Dad.

130
00:04:58,789 --> 00:05:00,423
Don't do this.

131
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:02,125
I've got a girlfriend now,

132
00:05:02,159 --> 00:05:04,094
a secret girlfriend,
and she's really cool,

133
00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:06,263
but not so cool that she'll
keep making out with me

134
00:05:06,297 --> 00:05:07,564
once I'm Father Eddie.

135
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,276
Just tell 'em the truth.
They can handle it.

136
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,902
No way! Mom would wig out.

137
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,313
Mom must never know.

138
00:05:13,337 --> 00:05:15,205
Then you shouldn't talk so loudly

139
00:05:15,239 --> 00:05:17,240
- right next to the bathroom.
- You didn't hear a thing.

140
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,875
Mm, I'll have to sleep on that,

141
00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:21,278
tonight, in my own bed.

142
00:05:21,312 --> 00:05:22,422
You'll like it where
I've been sleeping...

143
00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:23,446
under the dining room table.

144
00:05:23,481 --> 00:05:25,282
You can still smell where the dog died.

145
00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:27,717
Narc!

146
00:05:27,752 --> 00:05:28,952
Aaaaah!

147
00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,355
Excuse me, Mama.

148
00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:34,001
You should probably know
that Frank and Edd...

149
00:05:34,025 --> 00:05:35,892
Eddie's killing Frank!

150
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,564
Ow!

151
00:05:42,099 --> 00:05:43,500
As ignored as I was generally,

152
00:05:43,534 --> 00:05:45,135
I was absolutely invisible

153
00:05:45,169 --> 00:05:46,313
whenever my brothers were fighting,

154
00:05:46,337 --> 00:05:49,239
so, really, most of the time.

155
00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:52,442
There's... cat... poop... in... here.

156
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:53,510
Ugh!

157
00:05:55,212 --> 00:05:57,814
Hi, I was interested in
auditioning for your show.

158
00:05:59,016 --> 00:06:00,517
As the star...

159
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:02,285
or some other very large role?

160
00:06:03,788 --> 00:06:05,255
Performing experience?

161
00:06:05,289 --> 00:06:07,357
Well, uh, nothing you'd have seen.

162
00:06:07,391 --> 00:06:10,827
I... Oh! I sing the
Oscar Meyer Wiener song

163
00:06:10,861 --> 00:06:12,262
whenever relatives come over.

164
00:06:12,296 --> 00:06:13,463
It's very good.

165
00:06:13,497 --> 00:06:14,998
I'll explain.

166
00:06:15,032 --> 00:06:16,433
- I heard the whole thing.
- No, stop.

167
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,338
I should be the one to tell them.

168
00:06:23,307 --> 00:06:25,108
Mom, Dad, um...

169
00:06:27,244 --> 00:06:29,613
... I'm thinking about
leaving the seminary,

170
00:06:29,647 --> 00:06:31,481
- not becoming a priest.
- What?!

171
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:32,515
- What?
- What?

172
00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:34,027
I'm sorry. I didn't
hear the priest part.

173
00:06:34,051 --> 00:06:35,896
All I heard about was
Eddie's secret girlfriend.

174
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,221
I know this feels like
a big deal right now...

175
00:06:38,255 --> 00:06:40,357
Eddie has a secret girlfriend?

176
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,800
How long has this been going on?

177
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:47,350
I've been weighing the
decision for a while now.

178
00:06:47,368 --> 00:06:49,700
I was talking about Eddie's girlfriend.
I'd like to meet this person.

179
00:06:49,774 --> 00:06:51,241
I seriously hate you.

180
00:06:51,276 --> 00:06:52,720
I already knew you were up to something.

181
00:06:52,744 --> 00:06:55,512
Remember, I do your laundry.

182
00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:57,381
What are you planning
on studying instead?

183
00:06:57,415 --> 00:06:59,216
- Me, for starters.
- "Me."

184
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:02,152
And not in any classroom, but out
experiencing the world, you know?

185
00:07:02,186 --> 00:07:03,987
M... maybe I'll backpack across Europe.

186
00:07:04,022 --> 00:07:06,089
I backpacked across
Europe when I was your age,

187
00:07:06,124 --> 00:07:08,870
- except there were Germans shooting at me.
- You were actually younger,

188
00:07:08,871 --> 00:07:10,827
and you forged Grandpa's
signature to enlist

189
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,006
because you believed
in what you were doing.

190
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,397
Hey, you want to kill Germans?

191
00:07:13,431 --> 00:07:15,198
I'll sign the papers right now.

192
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:16,667
Lawrence isn't killing any Germans!

193
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:18,535
He's gonna be a priest! Or somebody is.

194
00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:20,014
If not him, Eddie for sure.

195
00:07:20,038 --> 00:07:22,516
Right now, you need to get down to
that church and help Father Dunne.

196
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:24,274
The man has diabetes!

197
00:07:24,309 --> 00:07:26,610
You're right. I made a commitment,

198
00:07:26,644 --> 00:07:28,084
a word that you might want to look up

199
00:07:28,112 --> 00:07:29,446
in that new collegiate dictionary

200
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,682
that we had to buy you for 22 bucks

201
00:07:31,716 --> 00:07:34,851
because our old dictionary
didn't contain hip new lingo

202
00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:37,154
like "Congressperson" and "gorp."

203
00:07:38,256 --> 00:07:40,090
I will see you...

204
00:07:40,124 --> 00:07:41,425
at bingo.

205
00:07:45,396 --> 00:07:46,964
And get a haircut!

206
00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:54,371
It was that easy.

207
00:07:54,405 --> 00:07:56,073
One phone call,

208
00:07:56,107 --> 00:07:58,442
and I found my first
paying show-business job...

209
00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:01,044
"paying" meaning I had to pay.

210
00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:08,051
I had more money than this.

211
00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:10,220
You had 9 bucks, an Abba-Zaba,

212
00:08:10,254 --> 00:08:11,788
and a picture...

213
00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:14,491
of Laurie Partridge.

214
00:08:14,525 --> 00:08:16,159
What happened to my money, Joey?

215
00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:18,128
I saw Jethro Tull at
The Forum on Saturday.

216
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:20,664
That man don't blow his flute for free.

217
00:08:20,698 --> 00:08:22,265
I have an audition tomorrow!

218
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,234
It costs 40 bucks!

219
00:08:24,268 --> 00:08:25,402
Take a chill pill.

220
00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:27,371
Hang on.

221
00:08:30,375 --> 00:08:33,510
Let's reconvene where
there's a modicum of privacy.

222
00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:34,945
10 minutes, in my office.

223
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,015
Bring ice.

224
00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:45,455
I've given some thought
to your money problem.

225
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:47,791
My problem is you stealing my money.

226
00:08:47,825 --> 00:08:49,760
You're really going
to have to let that go.

227
00:08:51,195 --> 00:08:54,097
My suggestion is take
your little mission box

228
00:08:54,132 --> 00:08:55,799
up to the rich, douchebag neighborhood

229
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,534
and ring a few douchebag doors.

230
00:08:57,568 --> 00:08:59,279
With your big brown
eyes and big round head,

231
00:08:59,303 --> 00:09:01,204
you'll clear 40 bucks in an hour.

232
00:09:01,239 --> 00:09:02,939
That money's for the pagan babies.

233
00:09:02,974 --> 00:09:04,307
Rich people don't care.

234
00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:06,209
They get off on giving their dough away.

235
00:09:06,244 --> 00:09:08,378
They just want to feel
good about themselves

236
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:10,347
and get you the hell off their porch.

237
00:09:10,381 --> 00:09:12,482
A normal family, I could
just ask Mom or Dad,

238
00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:14,685
but Dad's too cheap.

239
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:18,722
If he could, Dad would enjoy
tossing his dough around,

240
00:09:18,756 --> 00:09:21,291
taking us all out to a
Ponderosa Steakhouse, say,

241
00:09:21,325 --> 00:09:23,460
or Sizzler.

242
00:09:23,494 --> 00:09:25,395
But that Great Depression thing

243
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:26,897
always kicks in, and, instead,

244
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:29,833
we come home to the
taste of fried bologna

245
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,334
and sadness.

246
00:09:32,537 --> 00:09:34,304
Okay, blow. I got things to do.

247
00:09:34,338 --> 00:09:35,516
Dad let Joey build a tree house

248
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,375
because he liked that Joey
wanted to use his hands.

249
00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:40,577
He had no idea how much.

250
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:46,216
Look... No more holes.

251
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:47,317
And so groovy.

252
00:09:47,351 --> 00:09:48,852
You'd be right at home at a love-in.

253
00:09:51,022 --> 00:09:52,355
Hey, that's the style these days.

254
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:54,424
Trust me... ratty
dungarees with patches.

255
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,760
Well, you certainly get it.

256
00:09:56,794 --> 00:09:59,996
Mom, this is my girlfriend, Wendi.

257
00:10:00,031 --> 00:10:01,231
Girlfriend.

258
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,868
Eddie has a girlfriend.

259
00:10:04,902 --> 00:10:06,436
- How come?
- I'm sorry?

260
00:10:06,471 --> 00:10:07,904
Oh, no need to be sorry.

261
00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:10,073
Look, I love Eddie.
Well, I love all my boys.

262
00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:13,744
I have to. But how on earth
would Eddie get a girlfriend?

263
00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:15,512
Lots of kids our age are going together.

264
00:10:15,546 --> 00:10:17,714
Yeah, but not with Eddie.

265
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,193
How long have you two known each other?

266
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:21,585
- A... around four months.
- Ah, see, that explains it.

267
00:10:21,619 --> 00:10:23,386
I always say it takes
four and a half months

268
00:10:23,421 --> 00:10:25,689
before you really see
the flaws in a person.

269
00:10:25,723 --> 00:10:27,134
Now you can move on to some other boy,

270
00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:28,692
and I just saved you two weeks.

271
00:10:31,329 --> 00:10:33,563
I think you are amazing, Mrs. Cleary.

272
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:36,633
Running this home is a
huge managerial achievement.

273
00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:40,237
Modern women look up to
Indira Gandhi and Golda Meir,

274
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:42,139
but those who choose a domestic career

275
00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:44,207
are no less viable a role model.

276
00:10:47,345 --> 00:10:50,247
I mean, that's just
silly. I'm no role model.

277
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:53,116
Though, I would like to see
Golda handle all my housework

278
00:10:53,151 --> 00:10:55,752
and still make franks
and beans for Mister Meir.

279
00:10:55,787 --> 00:10:57,754
You're so slim, Wendi.

280
00:10:57,789 --> 00:10:59,389
I'm gonna make you a shift.

281
00:10:59,423 --> 00:11:02,826
I have this Dacron
fabric. It is so colorful.

282
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,328
It's like an LSD acid trip.

283
00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:07,464
- I wouldn't know.
- Correct answer.

284
00:11:07,498 --> 00:11:09,499
Come with me. Let's
take your measurements.

285
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:12,936
Good night.

286
00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:20,177
Thank you so much, ma'am, on
behalf of the foreign missions.

287
00:11:20,211 --> 00:11:22,345
So, listen,

288
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:24,147
there's another good cause I wondered

289
00:11:24,182 --> 00:11:25,816
if you might give to. Um...

290
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:29,486
I've always had this dream of
singing and dancing in shows.

291
00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:36,293
I-17.

292
00:11:36,327 --> 00:11:37,828
I-17.

293
00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:40,096
As in what you never
want to hear the girl say.

294
00:11:40,131 --> 00:11:41,498
"I 17."

295
00:11:41,532 --> 00:11:43,500
Good luck to you.

296
00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:49,506
You came.

297
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:50,640
I'm glad.

298
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,019
Oh, I've spotted Lawrence Cleary,

299
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:54,010
our handsome seminarian.

300
00:11:54,045 --> 00:11:55,823
Mike, could you have
your son call some numbers

301
00:11:55,847 --> 00:11:57,447
and give this old voice a rest?

302
00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:02,319
Back off, girls. That
part of his life is over.

303
00:12:07,592 --> 00:12:08,658
Okay.

304
00:12:08,693 --> 00:12:10,026
G-50.

305
00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:12,295
As in, "Gee, where have
the last 50 years gone?"

306
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,707
Well, I'll tell you where they went.

307
00:12:13,731 --> 00:12:15,532
Me calling bingo numbers. Whoo!

308
00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:25,275
I-20. That would be I-20.

309
00:12:27,445 --> 00:12:29,012
I-20.

310
00:12:30,514 --> 00:12:33,383
As in I am 20,

311
00:12:33,417 --> 00:12:35,485
which means I'm an adult.

312
00:12:35,519 --> 00:12:38,154
But am I really an adult
if I can't even stand up

313
00:12:38,189 --> 00:12:40,323
for who I am and what I want to be?

314
00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:42,525
Dad, I'm sorry. I don't
want to be a priest,

315
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,427
and I'm dropping out of the seminary.

316
00:12:48,566 --> 00:12:50,600
Bingo!

317
00:12:51,524 --> 00:12:53,830
He's quitting, and he said it
in front of the whole bingo.

318
00:12:54,371 --> 00:12:56,606
There is no putting the
toothpaste back in the tube.

319
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:57,974
Don't be silly.

320
00:12:58,008 --> 00:13:00,309
I've been refilling that
same Pepsodent for years.

321
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,577
I don't get it.

322
00:13:01,612 --> 00:13:02,945
Priesthood was always his idea

323
00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:04,814
since he was little, not mine.

324
00:13:04,848 --> 00:13:05,982
Remember his 10th birthday

325
00:13:06,016 --> 00:13:07,683
where all he asked for was a chalice?

326
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,686
How'd you leave things with him?

327
00:13:10,721 --> 00:13:11,865
Ah, he's staying with his friend AJ.

328
00:13:11,889 --> 00:13:14,490
- And where does he live?
- Don't know. Don't care.

329
00:13:14,525 --> 00:13:16,526
In Burbank, across from Shafer Field.

330
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,094
Thanks. Okay.

331
00:13:18,128 --> 00:13:20,296
After work, you go make
things right with him.

332
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:21,631
You're telling me what to do now?

333
00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:23,199
I am, when you're being dumb.

334
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:24,511
Mike, I know I'm not
up on current events

335
00:13:24,535 --> 00:13:26,669
like Nixon a... a... and Pythagoras,

336
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:29,772
but I am smart when it comes
to this house and these kids.

337
00:13:29,806 --> 00:13:31,507
Some might even say I'm a role model.

338
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:33,442
- Who might say that?
- Some!

339
00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:35,355
There's a whole generation
gap happening out there,

340
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:37,290
which I know more about 'cause
I watch "Sonny and Cher,"

341
00:13:37,314 --> 00:13:40,249
but I will not have any gaps
in my house with my boys.

342
00:13:41,685 --> 00:13:43,196
The truth is, I never really cared

343
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,687
about Lawrence being a priest.

344
00:13:44,721 --> 00:13:46,289
I don't care what any of my kids do,

345
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:48,457
- as long as...
- I know, "as long as they're happy."

346
00:13:48,492 --> 00:13:49,836
Oh, I don't even care
about them being happy.

347
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:51,694
I just want them around.

348
00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:54,564
They'll scatter to the
four winds soon enough.

349
00:13:54,598 --> 00:13:57,066
I won't have you pushing
one of them out the door.

350
00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:03,485
I'll take it under advisement.

351
00:14:05,943 --> 00:14:08,177
I might go for a drive
after work tonight.

352
00:14:11,181 --> 00:14:13,683
Clear my head.

353
00:14:13,717 --> 00:14:16,185
No particular destination.

354
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,120
- Across from Shafer Field.
- Shut up.

355
00:14:23,193 --> 00:14:24,727
I'm off to save more souls.

356
00:14:24,761 --> 00:14:26,295
You're not going anywhere...

357
00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:29,832
without your mission box.

358
00:14:29,866 --> 00:14:32,435
Nice work. There's a lot of money there.

359
00:14:32,469 --> 00:14:34,347
Now, I know this wasn't
the summer you pictured,

360
00:14:34,371 --> 00:14:36,839
but you did well, and honestly, Timmy,

361
00:14:36,873 --> 00:14:39,085
if you had any talent at all,
I think I would've noticed.

362
00:14:39,109 --> 00:14:41,210
Thanks, Mom. I should go.

363
00:14:41,245 --> 00:14:43,079
Hey, bring William with you, okay?

364
00:14:43,113 --> 00:14:44,457
You haven't ventured outside in days.

365
00:14:44,481 --> 00:14:46,882
You're gonna get rickets.

366
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:48,417
Mommy?

367
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:50,419
Will I get rickets, too?

368
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,221
Oh, Pat...

369
00:14:52,256 --> 00:14:53,256
maybe.

370
00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,323
Lawrence, I think it's your dad.

371
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,992
I guess there's no
pretending you're AJ's mom.

372
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:08,831
Mom, Timmy's not out

373
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:10,599
collecting for the foreign missions.

374
00:15:10,634 --> 00:15:13,669
He's auditioning for the
stupid show you told him not to.

375
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,371
That kid is a mental case.

376
00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:16,672
And, Frank,

377
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,841
about you being such
a big tattle-tale...

378
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:22,111
Thank you. Eddie, watch
the baby! Frank, keys.

379
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:29,719
William.

380
00:15:29,753 --> 00:15:31,287
Am I a good singer?

381
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:34,190
No, but confidence helps.

382
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,559
You really seem to have a lot of it.

383
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:38,160
God only knows why.

384
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:43,999
And with one tug of a
disarmingly sticky door handle,

385
00:15:44,034 --> 00:15:46,836
I took my first step into show business.

386
00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:52,875
What are we doing out here?

387
00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:55,845
You know a lot of people saw me
get in the car with you, right?

388
00:15:57,848 --> 00:16:00,216
You quit the seminary over a girl?

389
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,651
No. AJ's a recent development.

390
00:16:02,686 --> 00:16:04,197
I don't even know what's
going on there, to be honest.

391
00:16:04,221 --> 00:16:07,223
Oh, don't worry. She'll
figure it out and tell you.

392
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:11,160
You know, this isn't
about celibacy, Dad.

393
00:16:11,194 --> 00:16:12,572
There are big changes
right now, and I want

394
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,236
- to be a part of them.
- Hey, trust me, I know about the changes, okay?

395
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,834
Your mother watches "Sonny and Cher."

396
00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:20,613
Look, you've been jerking our chain

397
00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:23,072
about this priest thing
for years, all right?

398
00:16:23,106 --> 00:16:24,940
And maybe...

399
00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:27,009
I got excited

400
00:16:27,043 --> 00:16:29,745
because it's respectable.

401
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,847
It's certainly a step
up for the Clearys.

402
00:16:33,884 --> 00:16:36,752
My dad worked his whole
life in a coal mine.

403
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,120
That man never had two...

404
00:16:38,155 --> 00:16:40,656
Whoa. Whoa!

405
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:44,093
There she is... the LGM Minuteman III.

406
00:16:44,127 --> 00:16:45,294
Wait, it's going to the moon?

407
00:16:45,328 --> 00:16:48,030
Yeah, we're sending a nuclear
warhead to blow up the moon.

408
00:16:48,064 --> 00:16:50,366
We're fed up with tides
and women's periods.

409
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:53,569
It's a test.

410
00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:56,405
She'll ditch in the
ocean 800 miles that way,

411
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,240
maybe take out a few sea otters.

412
00:16:58,275 --> 00:17:00,443
You know, for something so dreadful,

413
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:03,712
which I abhor on principle,

414
00:17:03,747 --> 00:17:05,114
it's pretty cool.

415
00:17:06,783 --> 00:17:08,050
Did you build it?

416
00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:11,487
Son, I am a machinist.

417
00:17:11,521 --> 00:17:12,788
Engineers, the scientists,

418
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,057
they figure out what they need.

419
00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:17,226
I grind a few pieces on a lathe...

420
00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:18,794
grommets, some sheeting.

421
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,930
They're down there right now,

422
00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:25,801
my bosses, the big brains that
took us to the moon, and...

423
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,403
they own the future.

424
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:30,306
I'm just a guy holding their coats...

425
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,941
because I didn't go to college.

426
00:17:34,611 --> 00:17:36,847
Look, if you are

427
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,547
determined to quit the seminary...

428
00:17:41,651 --> 00:17:45,454
... might I suggest some
version of a college degree?

429
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:51,026
My father, Michael Lawrence Cleary,

430
00:17:51,061 --> 00:17:53,696
he scratched at the earth for a living.

431
00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:55,898
I want my sons reaching for the stars.

432
00:18:02,005 --> 00:18:03,038
You know...

433
00:18:05,242 --> 00:18:07,877
... there's a tiny fixed
nozzle with the TVC system

434
00:18:07,911 --> 00:18:10,613
on the third-stage
booster when it separates.

435
00:18:12,082 --> 00:18:14,850
It's just a few centimeters.

436
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,853
It has to hold up against 400,000 PSI.

437
00:18:21,258 --> 00:18:23,459
There you go.

438
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,194
I made that nozzle.

439
00:18:27,364 --> 00:18:28,964
Screw it.

440
00:18:28,999 --> 00:18:30,366
Let's get some waffles.

441
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,969
Our revels now are ended.

442
00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:35,971
These are our actors.

443
00:18:36,006 --> 00:18:39,241
The solemn temple,
the great Globe itself,

444
00:18:39,276 --> 00:18:40,843
yea, all which it inherits...

445
00:18:40,877 --> 00:18:42,545
Maybe you can get your 40 bucks back.

446
00:18:48,618 --> 00:18:51,053
Oh, those sneakers
look like Eddie's size.

447
00:18:51,087 --> 00:18:52,647
We should come back later with a ladder.

448
00:18:56,026 --> 00:18:58,027
Okay. Next up is...

449
00:18:58,061 --> 00:18:59,895
Timmy Cleary.

450
00:19:05,235 --> 00:19:06,902
Do you have sheet music?

451
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,171
Never mind. Just, uh...

452
00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:10,873
You'll be fine.

453
00:19:15,979 --> 00:19:18,280
? Sing ?

454
00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:21,617
? Sing a song ?

455
00:19:21,651 --> 00:19:24,453
? Sing out loud ?

456
00:19:24,487 --> 00:19:27,056
? Sing out strong ?

457
00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:31,727
? Sing of good things

458
00:19:31,761 --> 00:19:33,729
? Not bad ?

459
00:19:35,665 --> 00:19:38,133
? Sing of happy ?

460
00:19:38,168 --> 00:19:40,536
? Not sad ?

461
00:19:42,739 --> 00:19:44,139
? Sing ?

462
00:19:44,174 --> 00:19:47,610
? Sing a song ?

463
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,712
? Make it simple ?

464
00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:54,450
? To last your whole life long ?

465
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,886
? Don't worry that
it's not good enough ?

466
00:19:57,921 --> 00:20:01,123
? For anyone else to hear ?

467
00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:03,926
? Just sing ?

468
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,097
? Sing a song ?

469
00:20:08,131 --> 00:20:10,299
? Sing ?

470
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:13,435
? Sing a song ?

471
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:16,505
? Let the world ?

472
00:20:16,539 --> 00:20:18,507
? Sing along ?

473
00:20:18,541 --> 00:20:20,075
Okay, we should go.

474
00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:21,520
But... But what about Timmy disobeying?

475
00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:23,646
- What about him wasting 40...
- He's excellent.

476
00:20:26,883 --> 00:20:29,752
? Sing for you and ?

477
00:20:29,786 --> 00:20:32,921
? For me ?

478
00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:35,324
? Sing ?

479
00:20:35,358 --> 00:20:38,694
People remember the 1970s
as a tense and divisive time

480
00:20:38,728 --> 00:20:40,329
with war and Watergate

481
00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:42,998
and the generations
pulling against each other,

482
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,100
but I think back on
my ridiculous family,

483
00:20:45,135 --> 00:20:46,869
and it gives me hope for today

484
00:20:46,903 --> 00:20:49,048
that tense times are something
we just have to go through

485
00:20:49,072 --> 00:20:51,006
once in a while to
come out the other side

486
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,275
a changed, more accepting world.

487
00:20:53,309 --> 00:20:57,179
? Sing a song! ?

488
00:20:58,455 --> 00:21:00,915
Time to try on your pantaloons, milord.

489
00:21:00,989 --> 00:21:02,522
It's stupid going to all this trouble.

490
00:21:02,624 --> 00:21:04,902
- He's the understudy.
- An excellent understudy.

491
00:21:05,286 --> 00:21:07,064
You heard him sing. He's
practically an Osmond.

492
00:21:07,088 --> 00:21:09,448
- I'm a heartbeat away from the star.
- And anything could happen.

493
00:21:09,524 --> 00:21:11,035
That boy could get sick or he could fall

494
00:21:11,059 --> 00:21:12,469
and break a leg on the way to rehearsal.

495
00:21:12,493 --> 00:21:13,504
And if no one else was around,

496
00:21:13,528 --> 00:21:14,805
who's to say if he fell or got pushed.

497
00:21:14,829 --> 00:21:17,229
- Right, Joey?
- Kid sounds like a klutz to me.

498
00:21:17,331 --> 00:21:18,597
You'll need to point him out.

499
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:21,033
? I am I, Don Quixote ?

500
00:21:21,135 --> 00:21:23,369
? The Lord of La Mancha ?

501
00:21:23,471 --> 00:21:25,705
? A name all the world soon will... ?

502
00:21:25,706 --> 00:21:30,706
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -