1 00:00:04,358 --> 00:00:06,358 Gah! Now? 2 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:09,067 You want to know what happened last week now? 3 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:11,399 Jesus, what are you, on drugs? 4 00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:13,650 Fuck, oh... ow, okay. 5 00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,733 I'll tell you what happened last week. 6 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:19,192 Call me a fucking lawyer, that's what happened last week! 7 00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:21,150 Okay? You got that? 8 00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:23,316 You're making a big mistake! 9 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,233 You're looking at the future site 10 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,524 of Sunset Brooks Senior Care, phase two. 11 00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:28,834 Is this the thing Whitford sucked you into? 12 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:30,375 Whitford didn't suck me into anything. 13 00:00:30,399 --> 00:00:32,316 I invested in a limited partnership. 14 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,043 Ah, so you can only lose all your investment, 15 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,108 - which was how much again? - $100,000. 16 00:00:37,192 --> 00:00:39,192 Why do you have two phones? 17 00:00:39,274 --> 00:00:41,858 It's for my mother. It's an international phone. 18 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,816 Your mother's Patty? 19 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,691 - Patricia, yeah. - Bullshit. 20 00:00:45,775 --> 00:00:46,524 You don't believe me? 21 00:00:46,608 --> 00:00:48,858 You want me to call her? 22 00:00:48,942 --> 00:00:50,691 Hey, looking for Vicodin? 23 00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:52,274 Always. 24 00:00:52,358 --> 00:00:53,983 Undo this belt, and I'll... I'll get it. 25 00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,775 No, I don't think I should do that. 26 00:00:55,858 --> 00:00:58,192 Oh, come on. 27 00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,358 You think I could actually get out of here? 28 00:01:00,441 --> 00:01:02,858 Oh, God! 29 00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:05,691 Say you're sorry, Timmy! 30 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,108 Say you're sorry! 31 00:01:14,025 --> 00:01:15,399 I set fire to a van, 32 00:01:15,483 --> 00:01:17,025 and in doing so, I turned 33 00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:18,626 what I intended to be a movement of love 34 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,233 into a movement of anger. 35 00:01:20,316 --> 00:01:21,626 I was crazy to let it go as far as I did. 36 00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:23,274 Truth is, I am bipolar. 37 00:01:23,358 --> 00:01:25,108 I plead not guilty by reason of insanity. 38 00:01:25,192 --> 00:01:27,025 What? 39 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,316 Order! Order! 40 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,139 CREDITS 41 00:02:56,775 --> 00:02:58,566 Hey. What you doing up there? 42 00:02:58,650 --> 00:03:00,942 Putting away my stuff till I get back. 43 00:03:01,025 --> 00:03:02,483 Hand me those bags. 44 00:03:02,566 --> 00:03:04,399 You decide what you want to do today yet? 45 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,233 I could call in sick from work. 46 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,918 Well, I don't think I want to do anything. 47 00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:09,168 Ah, come on, we got to do something. 48 00:03:09,192 --> 00:03:10,608 It's your last day of freedom. 49 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,274 Nah, I think I just want to 50 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,858 hang at the house. 51 00:03:13,942 --> 00:03:15,441 You heading into the shop today? 52 00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:17,192 I got a job as a sober companion 53 00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:18,524 for the next couple hours. 54 00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:20,025 Hey, uh, how about we ride 55 00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:21,375 the El up to Wrigley when I get back? 56 00:03:21,399 --> 00:03:22,900 Beat the shit out of some Cubs fans? 57 00:03:22,983 --> 00:03:25,025 Yeah, I don't need more time added to my sentence. 58 00:03:25,108 --> 00:03:26,983 What's a sober companion? 59 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,274 I'm babysitting some rich lush, 60 00:03:29,358 --> 00:03:30,775 making sure they don't drink. 61 00:03:30,858 --> 00:03:35,274 Anybody who can't stop drinking on his own is a pussy. 62 00:03:35,358 --> 00:03:37,168 We could take you to a gay bar and get you laid. 63 00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:39,150 Pretty sure I'll get laid a lot in prison. 64 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,025 Yo, what are we doing today? 65 00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:42,542 My new lady and I are supposed to go 66 00:03:42,566 --> 00:03:44,524 work out, but I could cancel it. 67 00:03:44,608 --> 00:03:46,025 He doesn't want to do anything. 68 00:03:46,108 --> 00:03:47,566 What? You don't want to steal a car, 69 00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:50,067 or drop bowling balls off a freeway? 70 00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:53,274 I'm good. 71 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,358 Liam, get your ass up. Need help. 72 00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:58,274 What's up, Frank? 73 00:03:58,358 --> 00:03:59,650 Met a woman. 74 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,399 Crazy as a loon, 75 00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:03,025 made my heart stir 76 00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:04,900 and my loins moist. 77 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:05,733 Ew. 78 00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,608 She's on a 72-hour 79 00:04:07,691 --> 00:04:09,150 eval at the psych ward. 80 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:11,316 Her name is Ingrid Jones. 81 00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:13,358 Want your opinion of her. 82 00:04:13,441 --> 00:04:15,192 - Why me? - 'Cause, 83 00:04:15,274 --> 00:04:17,816 you're the only little kid left who still needs a mommy. 84 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,483 Rest of them are already cooked. 85 00:04:19,566 --> 00:04:21,150 Can't. Gotta hang with Ian. 86 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:22,483 Seriously, guys, I'm good. 87 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,150 I just want to veg at the house, 88 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,733 eat a shit-ton of White Castle for dinner. 89 00:04:26,816 --> 00:04:29,025 I spent many a day in prison. 90 00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:30,900 It's a walk in the park. 91 00:04:30,983 --> 00:04:33,441 Three squares a day, lots of friends, 92 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,274 free gym membership, and all the books you can read. 93 00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:38,483 I suggest Ulysses. 94 00:04:38,566 --> 00:04:40,983 Shall we? 95 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,942 No, go. Go. 96 00:04:44,274 --> 00:04:45,983 See you later, Taraji. 97 00:04:48,108 --> 00:04:50,192 Liam! 98 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,067 Hey, uh, 99 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:54,858 how come you don't want to do anything? 100 00:04:54,942 --> 00:04:56,626 I'm about to spend the next two years of my life 101 00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:57,775 in fight-or-flight mode. 102 00:04:57,858 --> 00:04:58,858 I just want one last day 103 00:04:58,942 --> 00:05:01,608 where I feel safe and relaxed. 104 00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,566 Oh, okay. 105 00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:04,358 Sure? 106 00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:05,942 Yep. 107 00:05:06,025 --> 00:05:08,524 I guess I'll go to work then. 108 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:10,067 I'll be back for dinner, all right? 109 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:13,067 - Yeah, see you at dinner. - Okay. 110 00:05:26,858 --> 00:05:28,058 Have you seen these inglenooks 111 00:05:28,108 --> 00:05:29,274 and these lead windows? 112 00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:30,650 Did you see the second bathroom? 113 00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:31,983 We could each have our own. 114 00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:33,334 Dibs on the black-and-green-tile one. 115 00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:34,858 What's the rent? 116 00:05:34,942 --> 00:05:36,775 It's $3,000 a month. 117 00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,399 That's crazy. 118 00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:39,584 - We can't afford that. - Sure we can. 119 00:05:39,608 --> 00:05:41,168 You're gonna get at least 1,000 bucks for 120 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:43,399 renting your place, and I'll cover the rest. 121 00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:45,483 No, then it'll feel like it's your apartment 122 00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:47,524 that I'm just tippy-toeing around in. 123 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,900 Well, you can rustle up an extra 500 bucks a month, then. 124 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,483 Maybe. 125 00:05:51,566 --> 00:05:52,233 Come on, you're gonna be loaded 126 00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:53,650 off that senior center soon. 127 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:55,608 Can we look for something cheaper? 128 00:05:55,691 --> 00:05:57,691 This place has southern exposure. 129 00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,650 I don't even know why that's a good thing. 130 00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,108 It means this whole place will be 131 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:02,900 shit-tons of sunny in the winter. 132 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:04,358 Can we think about it? 133 00:06:04,441 --> 00:06:07,274 I got a meeting with Max right now anyway. 134 00:06:07,373 --> 00:06:09,180 We'll let you know, okay? 135 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,192 Um, sure. 136 00:06:10,274 --> 00:06:11,441 I can't guarantee 137 00:06:11,524 --> 00:06:13,067 it'll still be available, though. 138 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:14,650 Come here. 139 00:06:19,942 --> 00:06:22,067 Mm. 140 00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:23,691 I thought we were ready to take 141 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,274 this relationship to the next level. 142 00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:28,192 I just didn't realize that would be so expensive. 143 00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:30,168 Well, to get ahead in life, you have to push past 144 00:06:30,192 --> 00:06:32,483 your comfort zone. 145 00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:36,900 Okay. 146 00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:38,483 - Yeah? - Let's do it. 147 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,067 Great. 148 00:06:49,358 --> 00:06:50,358 Ah! Ah! 149 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,900 - What are you guys doing? - Survival training. 150 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,650 Kelly has a black belt in krav maga. 151 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,108 She's teaching me some moves. 152 00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:02,483 All right. 153 00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:03,942 Survival training, huh? 154 00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:07,816 Yeah. Ooh! 155 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,108 Ah! 156 00:07:10,192 --> 00:07:11,524 - Hi. - Hey. 157 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,358 You know what, can you guys show me some moves? 158 00:07:15,441 --> 00:07:17,108 - Sure. - Okay. 159 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,900 Oh. 160 00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:26,816 Go. 161 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:27,900 Go! 162 00:07:27,942 --> 00:07:29,608 - Hey, man. - Hey. 163 00:07:29,691 --> 00:07:31,168 Hey, man, thanks for covering for me. 164 00:07:31,192 --> 00:07:32,650 Yeah, yeah, of course. 165 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,316 - Client's in the room now. - Okay. 166 00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:35,983 Hey, took an Ambien. 167 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,192 She'll probably be asleep till tonight. 168 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:39,108 Great, yeah. 169 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,192 She got a stockholders' 170 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,441 meeting in the morning 171 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:42,942 with Highland Cosmetics. 172 00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:45,566 She's their keynote speaker, Jen Wagner. 173 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,192 If she shows up hammered, 174 00:07:47,274 --> 00:07:49,608 the company's gonna drop her as their spokesperson. 175 00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:51,751 You're talking about Jen Wagner, the movie star chick? 176 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,358 Yeah, that's the one. 177 00:07:53,441 --> 00:07:55,399 Uh, I didn't know she was a boozer. 178 00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:56,983 Everybody got their demons, right? 179 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:58,733 - Yeah. - I should be back 180 00:07:58,816 --> 00:08:00,524 from dropping off my kid at camp 181 00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:02,233 around 5:00 to relieve you. 182 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,566 All right. Yeah-yeah, I got you. 183 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,566 - Thank you. - Yeah. 184 00:08:18,775 --> 00:08:20,816 Why does Paw Patrol only have one girl? 185 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,816 Shh, I'm trying to watch. 186 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,691 No job is too big. No pup is too small. 187 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,025 This cartoon is sexist. 188 00:08:30,108 --> 00:08:31,983 V, when I watch with the girls, 189 00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,983 we don't criticize Ryder and his team. 190 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,775 We just laugh and enjoy it. 191 00:08:39,316 --> 00:08:42,775 I've got something else you can enjoy. 192 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,983 See ya, Paw Patrol. 193 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,650 Let's work off these donuts. 194 00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:50,399 I ate a lot of crullers. 195 00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:52,274 Mm-hmm. 196 00:08:53,691 --> 00:08:55,483 Who is that? 197 00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:56,858 Probably a Gallagher. 198 00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:57,733 Or a Jehovah. 199 00:08:57,816 --> 00:08:59,608 I'll get rid of them. 200 00:09:04,316 --> 00:09:06,566 Sister Frances. 201 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,441 - Good morning. - Good mor... 202 00:09:09,524 --> 00:09:11,150 Please, won't you come in? 203 00:09:14,358 --> 00:09:17,942 Good morning. Have a... have a seat. 204 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:21,566 Amy brought this in for show-and-tell today. 205 00:09:24,025 --> 00:09:26,816 That's weird. 206 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,566 I wonder where she got it from. 207 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,168 The children were supposed to bring in something 208 00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:33,150 that represents their parents' love for each other. 209 00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:35,900 Most brought in hearts or pictures of their siblings. 210 00:09:35,983 --> 00:09:37,441 Amy brought this. 211 00:09:39,608 --> 00:09:40,608 I'm so sorry. 212 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:41,942 It'll never happen again. 213 00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:47,483 It's double-click. 214 00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:52,358 In order for Amy to return back to school on Monday, 215 00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:54,150 Father D'Amico has requested 216 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,733 that you come to his office today and speak with him. 217 00:09:56,816 --> 00:09:58,250 You're gonna kick her out because of this? 218 00:09:58,274 --> 00:10:00,192 We would love to speak with the priest. 219 00:10:00,274 --> 00:10:02,358 My wife and I just need to say our morning prayers, 220 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:03,792 and then we'll meet you at the rectory. 221 00:10:03,816 --> 00:10:04,733 I can take that... Or you can 222 00:10:04,816 --> 00:10:06,942 keep it as a parting gift. 223 00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:09,483 Thank you, Sister Frances, for coming. 224 00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:15,483 Hey, Fiona! 225 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:17,524 - Hello. - Hi. 226 00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,067 Everybody, this is Fiona. 227 00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,942 This is Gil, Jessica, and Sandy. 228 00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:22,733 - Hello. - Hey, how's it going? 229 00:10:22,816 --> 00:10:24,108 - Hi. - Please, sit down. 230 00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:26,108 So, what did the hearing board say 231 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,608 about the Sunset Brook project? 232 00:10:27,691 --> 00:10:29,358 They denied our request on rezoning. 233 00:10:29,441 --> 00:10:30,691 - Mm. - What? 234 00:10:30,775 --> 00:10:33,358 Yeah, well, we expected that. 235 00:10:33,441 --> 00:10:35,150 I did not expect that. 236 00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:36,566 What were they asking for? 237 00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,001 Traffic and environmental impact report? 238 00:10:38,025 --> 00:10:39,483 Oh, of course. 239 00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:41,166 City's gonna try to force us to do street 240 00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:43,566 and sewer upgrades, plus, there was a gas station 241 00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:45,150 on that corner in the '20s, 242 00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:46,900 so they want to see what's underneath, 243 00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:48,691 and we gotta pay for it. 244 00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:50,733 Usual bureaucratic bullshit. 245 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,150 So if they don't rezone, 246 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,983 can the old age home still go in there? 247 00:10:54,067 --> 00:10:55,775 Of course. It'll just take longer. 248 00:10:55,858 --> 00:10:56,858 How much longer? 249 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,816 A year or so, most likely. 250 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,209 You know, I've been using Hilford and Carson to get 251 00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:01,459 reports on my Glendale project. 252 00:11:01,483 --> 00:11:02,524 Sounds good to me. 253 00:11:02,608 --> 00:11:04,025 How much are they? 254 00:11:04,108 --> 00:11:04,942 We can probably get all the reports 255 00:11:05,025 --> 00:11:07,483 done that we need for about 256 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:09,524 $100,000, so 20 grand apiece. 257 00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:12,192 Hm. You cool with PayPal? 258 00:11:12,274 --> 00:11:15,983 - Of course. - I'll write you a check. 259 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,566 I don't think I have my checkbook with me. 260 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:20,450 Ah, just get it to me later today or tomorrow. 261 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:22,150 Sure, yeah. 262 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:23,733 So it's probably time for us to talk 263 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:24,876 about hiring a lawyer, too. 264 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,775 I can talk to this guy I know, 265 00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:28,441 put him on a retainer. Um. 266 00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:30,483 Should cost us about $5,000 each. 267 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:31,983 Nice. Yeah. 268 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,775 Great. 269 00:11:46,441 --> 00:11:48,025 Oh, look at that, someone got 270 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,608 some pretty balloons! 271 00:11:49,691 --> 00:11:51,399 The hell? 272 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:54,067 You can't visit the mentally ill empty-handed. 273 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:57,608 Hey, Baxter, what's shaking? 274 00:11:57,691 --> 00:11:59,483 Frankie! 275 00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:01,025 - Hey. - Wow. 276 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,524 Long time. 277 00:12:02,608 --> 00:12:05,608 That's because my Monica died. 278 00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:07,650 - No. - Yeah. 279 00:12:07,733 --> 00:12:09,650 I am so sorry, buddy. 280 00:12:09,733 --> 00:12:11,483 Thanks, 281 00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:13,566 but it's gonna be okay. 282 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,858 Got a new lady. 283 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,192 Hey, good for you. 284 00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:18,816 And by my calculations, 285 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,816 she should be finishing up her 72 hours today. 286 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,942 So my son and I are just gonna 287 00:12:24,025 --> 00:12:26,192 hunker down until she gets released. 288 00:12:26,274 --> 00:12:28,108 Wait, this is Liam? 289 00:12:28,192 --> 00:12:29,483 Yep. 290 00:12:29,566 --> 00:12:31,483 Wow. Last time I saw you, 291 00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:33,399 you must have been two years old, 292 00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:35,399 just talking up a storm. 293 00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:36,316 Oh, yeah? 294 00:12:36,399 --> 00:12:37,150 Yeah. 295 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,441 Hey, listen. 296 00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,108 I remember 297 00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,691 your mom's face just always lit up 298 00:12:43,775 --> 00:12:44,858 every time she saw you 299 00:12:44,942 --> 00:12:46,524 when she got released from here. 300 00:12:46,608 --> 00:12:49,108 Sure it wasn't the Thorazine? 301 00:12:49,192 --> 00:12:51,233 Hey, Baxter, could I get the, uh, remote? 302 00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:54,025 Yeah. 303 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,900 Oh, hey. 304 00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:18,067 Hi. 305 00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:19,524 Hey, are you going somewhere? 306 00:13:19,608 --> 00:13:21,274 Who the hell are you? 307 00:13:21,358 --> 00:13:23,150 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm Lip. 308 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,067 Um, Philip. 309 00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:28,067 Covering for Barney for a couple hours. 310 00:13:29,192 --> 00:13:30,192 Excuse me? 311 00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:33,067 Hey. 312 00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,067 Um, hi! 313 00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:36,316 W... 314 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:39,233 Hey, I... 315 00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:55,524 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 316 00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:10,233 Hi. 317 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,900 Thought I lost you. Um. 318 00:14:12,983 --> 00:14:14,983 Uh, hey, could you wait up? 319 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:17,441 L... I'm... I'm supposed to... To be with you. 320 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,900 My sober companion, yeah, I know, I got it. 321 00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,858 I'm just going for a little walk. 322 00:14:21,942 --> 00:14:23,608 I... 323 00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:30,816 Hey, you could slow down a little bit? 324 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,358 You seem like a nice kid. 325 00:14:32,441 --> 00:14:34,942 I just... I just need some space, all right? 326 00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:36,942 Yeah, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. 327 00:14:37,025 --> 00:14:38,775 Actually, it's a great idea. 328 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,691 See, this is like a mini-vacation for me. 329 00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,043 - Mm-hm. - Got no work, no husband, 330 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,192 no screaming kids. 331 00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,358 No one knows I'm in town, 332 00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:45,816 so I'm... I'm anonymous here. 333 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:46,775 - Yeah, I'm... - I just... I just... 334 00:14:46,858 --> 00:14:47,942 I need some alone time. 335 00:14:48,025 --> 00:14:50,858 I'm concerned you might drink. 336 00:14:50,942 --> 00:14:53,524 Don't be concerned, bunny. 337 00:14:53,608 --> 00:14:55,001 Look, does that mean you are gonna drink, 338 00:14:55,025 --> 00:14:56,108 or you're not gonna drink? 339 00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:57,566 It means if I do drink, 340 00:14:57,650 --> 00:14:59,441 everything's gonna be okay. 341 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,441 You've got a meeting tomorrow. 342 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,025 Yeah, in like 20 hours. 343 00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:04,150 Yeah, a lot can happen in that time. 344 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,150 A few drinks is not gonna kill me. 345 00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:08,316 I... I'll be back at the hotel by mid-afternoon. 346 00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:10,233 I'll chug a gallon of Evian; I'll eat a pizza; 347 00:15:10,316 --> 00:15:12,192 hit the steam room; get a great night's sleep, 348 00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:13,751 and be as good as new for my meeting. 349 00:15:13,775 --> 00:15:16,566 Really, it's no big whoop. No one will know. 350 00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:19,150 I will. 351 00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:20,983 Aren't you a sweet Boy Scout? 352 00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:22,358 No... 353 00:15:26,942 --> 00:15:28,150 Are you serious? 354 00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:02,900 Hey, Barney. 355 00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:05,650 Yeah, no, everything's good. 356 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,691 No, yeah, she's still sleeping. 357 00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:08,858 Okay. 358 00:16:08,942 --> 00:16:10,483 Talk to you later. Bye. 359 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:21,358 - Stop! - Oh, my God! 360 00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,274 Hey, look, I'm sorry. Are you okay? 361 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,483 - You gave me no choice. - Get off me! 362 00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:27,483 Not until you promise you're not gonna drink. 363 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:29,375 Look, I'm not getting off you until you promise! 364 00:16:29,399 --> 00:16:32,108 - No! - This is my job! 365 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,358 - To sit on top of me? - To make sure you don't drink! 366 00:16:34,441 --> 00:16:35,816 Oh, my God, I told you, 367 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:36,900 it's no big deal. 368 00:16:36,983 --> 00:16:38,816 Yes, it is. All right? 369 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,775 Don't fuck up this gig for me. 370 00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:42,334 My brother's going to prison tomorrow. 371 00:16:42,358 --> 00:16:44,043 I need the money for his commissary account. 372 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,608 Are you trying to play on my emotions? 373 00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:46,775 Is it working? 374 00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:48,483 No, because I don't have any! 375 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,250 All right, well, then, suck it up until Barney 376 00:16:50,274 --> 00:16:52,274 gets back at 5:00, all right? He can deal with you. 377 00:16:52,316 --> 00:16:53,876 What am I supposed to do if I'm not drinking? 378 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,001 Just sit in the hotel room all day, 379 00:16:55,025 --> 00:16:56,566 watching SpectraVision? 380 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,043 Uh, we could hang out here in the park. 381 00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,108 It's a beautiful day out. 382 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,775 You are such a sap. 383 00:17:00,858 --> 00:17:02,858 Look, just relax, all right? 384 00:17:02,942 --> 00:17:04,524 Enjoy, and 385 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:06,775 take it one moment at a time, all right? 386 00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,691 Oh, jeez. AA crap. 387 00:17:08,775 --> 00:17:10,650 All right, fine. 388 00:17:10,733 --> 00:17:12,733 We'll just hang out in this stupid park. 389 00:17:12,816 --> 00:17:13,733 - All right. - Okay. 390 00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:14,942 Now I'm gonna get off you, 391 00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:16,733 but I swear, if you run, 392 00:17:16,816 --> 00:17:18,274 I will tackle the fuck out of you. 393 00:17:18,358 --> 00:17:19,942 You are so dramatic. 394 00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:22,441 Hey, look who's talking, commercial actress chick. 395 00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:25,566 I'll have you know, I have done 17 films and 4 TV shows. 396 00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:27,441 Whatever. 397 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,025 Hey! 398 00:17:29,108 --> 00:17:32,067 I'm just kidding, you little shit. 399 00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:52,025 What are you doing? 400 00:17:52,108 --> 00:17:53,524 Packing for our move. 401 00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:57,358 I'm having second thoughts. 402 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,025 We paid a deposit. 403 00:18:01,108 --> 00:18:03,192 We'll just cancel the check. 404 00:18:03,274 --> 00:18:05,858 We signed a lease. 405 00:18:05,942 --> 00:18:07,691 The realtor won't care. 406 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:12,067 She said tons of people are interested, anyway. 407 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,608 What's this about? 408 00:18:21,441 --> 00:18:24,691 To be honest, I smelled mold in there. 409 00:18:24,775 --> 00:18:27,274 These old apartments, they got so much water damage, 410 00:18:27,358 --> 00:18:29,399 and mold is so bad for your lungs. 411 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,816 Hm. And where's this coming from? 412 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,733 I just think we can find something better and cheaper. 413 00:18:38,691 --> 00:18:41,483 What's your excuse gonna be in the next apartment? 414 00:18:41,566 --> 00:18:43,025 Excuse me? 415 00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:44,126 You're not remotely serious about 416 00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:44,983 us getting a place together. 417 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:45,983 That is not true. 418 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:46,858 Bullshit. 419 00:18:46,942 --> 00:18:48,025 I have a perfectly 420 00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:49,150 good apartment right here. 421 00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:50,483 Which is too small 422 00:18:50,566 --> 00:18:51,751 for me to move any of my stuff into. 423 00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:53,233 It's not the right time for me 424 00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:54,542 to be spending that kind of money. 425 00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:55,876 Well, let me know when it is the right time, 426 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,358 and maybe, I might still be around. 427 00:18:57,441 --> 00:18:58,566 Where are you going? 428 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,691 To cancel a check and break a lease 429 00:19:00,775 --> 00:19:02,895 so God forbid, we don't have to fucking live together. 430 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,108 Yo, bitch. 431 00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,775 My cell, now. 432 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,942 No way, Larry. Ow. 433 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,274 See, wrong move. 434 00:19:13,358 --> 00:19:14,459 You just got your throat slit. 435 00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:15,900 Ah! 436 00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:19,816 - And now you're dead. - Shit. 437 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,316 Dude, what the hell did we teach you? 438 00:19:22,399 --> 00:19:24,608 Your ass gonna get fucked up in prison. 439 00:19:24,691 --> 00:19:25,691 Run it again. 440 00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:30,733 My cell, bitch. 441 00:19:30,816 --> 00:19:32,691 You don't roll into the blade. 442 00:19:32,775 --> 00:19:35,233 Use your left hand to grab her wrist with the knife. 443 00:19:35,316 --> 00:19:38,150 Grab her elbow, then throw. 444 00:19:43,358 --> 00:19:44,399 You good? 445 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,524 Yeah. 446 00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:52,399 Yeah? 447 00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:58,441 Ian here? 448 00:19:58,524 --> 00:19:59,900 Who wants to know? 449 00:19:59,983 --> 00:20:01,233 My name's Antonio. 450 00:20:01,316 --> 00:20:03,192 Joselito sent me. 451 00:20:03,274 --> 00:20:04,942 Oh. Yeah, I'm Ian. 452 00:20:05,025 --> 00:20:08,316 Come in. 453 00:20:08,399 --> 00:20:10,858 We talking Joselito from County? 454 00:20:10,942 --> 00:20:12,733 How's he doing? 455 00:20:12,816 --> 00:20:15,691 Jackass got extra 20 years. Stabbed a guard. 456 00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:18,192 That sucks. 457 00:20:18,274 --> 00:20:20,150 Uh, is he still with Leo? 458 00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:22,566 Nah, they broke up after Leo got released. 459 00:20:22,650 --> 00:20:24,192 That long-distance shit never works. 460 00:20:24,274 --> 00:20:25,858 So what's going on? 461 00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:27,582 Joselito wanted me to give you an in-depth 462 00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:29,524 safety orientation about Beckman Correctional 463 00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:30,942 before they send you up. 464 00:20:37,358 --> 00:20:38,566 Is that my Ingrid? 465 00:20:39,942 --> 00:20:42,067 No, it's just some crazy dude. 466 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,816 What's so special about 467 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:45,608 this chick we're waiting for, anyway? 468 00:20:45,691 --> 00:20:48,983 Well, son, it's a great gift in this life 469 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,900 to know what you're good at. 470 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,150 And, uh, 471 00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:55,441 I'm good at crazy. 472 00:20:55,524 --> 00:20:58,399 I'm a caretaker to it. Makes me feel needed. 473 00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:00,399 It's how I felt with your mother. 474 00:21:00,483 --> 00:21:04,358 Plus, it's never boring. Look at this. 475 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,150 What the hell is that? 476 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,399 Monica. 477 00:21:09,483 --> 00:21:11,358 I was asleep. 478 00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:13,192 Decided she was gonna light me on fire, 479 00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:15,441 one body part at a time. 480 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,942 - Why? - Hard to say 481 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,067 with a crazy person. 482 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:19,399 That's the thrill. 483 00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:20,542 You never know what you're gonna get, 484 00:21:20,566 --> 00:21:21,858 moment to moment. 485 00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:23,566 Thankfully, 486 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,025 she passed out before she could torch 487 00:21:26,108 --> 00:21:28,358 the rest of my body. 488 00:21:28,441 --> 00:21:31,067 I'd given up trying to find 489 00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:35,399 excitement like that again, till now. 490 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,775 I'm gonna get some more of those, um, fudge stripes, 491 00:21:38,858 --> 00:21:40,417 and then I'll tell you about the time Monica 492 00:21:40,441 --> 00:21:42,108 shattered my kneecap with a pool cue. 493 00:21:42,192 --> 00:21:45,983 It was the best sex of my life. 494 00:21:48,733 --> 00:21:50,608 That cloud up there looks like a martini glass. 495 00:21:50,691 --> 00:21:52,900 Nah, it's clearly a beer funnel. 496 00:21:55,025 --> 00:21:56,441 When did you start drinking? 497 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,650 Nine? 498 00:21:58,733 --> 00:21:59,983 Maybe earlier. 499 00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:01,983 I was 12. 500 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,233 We had a beer keg tapped in our backyard at all times. 501 00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:07,608 Grow up in a fraternity? 502 00:22:07,691 --> 00:22:08,858 You ever try and stop? 503 00:22:08,942 --> 00:22:10,816 Course. 504 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:12,316 Life's hard. 505 00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:14,441 Booze is my only escape. 506 00:22:14,524 --> 00:22:17,025 Why'd you hire a sober companion, then? 507 00:22:17,108 --> 00:22:19,233 I didn't. 508 00:22:19,316 --> 00:22:21,274 Highland Cosmetics did after the incident, 509 00:22:21,358 --> 00:22:23,524 where we're doing this Christmas commercial 510 00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:25,566 in the fall, and I was riding a horse 511 00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:26,959 through Central Park, and I fell off. 512 00:22:26,983 --> 00:22:28,483 Drunk? 513 00:22:28,566 --> 00:22:31,274 I was plastered. 514 00:22:31,358 --> 00:22:32,608 Course, the horse got spooked 515 00:22:32,691 --> 00:22:34,150 and took off, and guess what I did? 516 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:36,150 Start chasing after him. 517 00:22:36,233 --> 00:22:37,459 - Sure. - I was wearing high heels 518 00:22:37,483 --> 00:22:39,691 and this snow angel thing. 519 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,608 Yeah. I almost caught it, and I promise you, 520 00:22:42,691 --> 00:22:44,566 - I could've, had I not puked. - Sure. 521 00:22:44,650 --> 00:22:46,441 I'm surprised you didn't see it. 522 00:22:46,524 --> 00:22:48,084 It was all over the Internet. You didn't see the gif? 523 00:22:48,108 --> 00:22:51,025 - No. - The... 524 00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:53,775 Aw, man. 525 00:22:53,858 --> 00:22:55,566 Oh. 526 00:22:58,358 --> 00:23:00,108 Let's go get some lunch. 527 00:23:00,192 --> 00:23:03,025 I'm fucking starving. 528 00:23:03,108 --> 00:23:04,816 Sure, yeah. 529 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:11,858 Hey, Max. You got a second? 530 00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:14,566 Yeah, what's up? Late for a thing. 531 00:23:14,650 --> 00:23:17,858 - I need to get out of our deal. - What? 532 00:23:17,942 --> 00:23:20,233 Another opportunity came up, and I'm short on cash. 533 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,524 What other opportunity? 534 00:23:22,608 --> 00:23:24,650 Is it something I want to invest in? 535 00:23:24,733 --> 00:23:27,816 I'm not allowed to say, but I gotta act fast. 536 00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:29,608 Are you kidding me? 537 00:23:29,691 --> 00:23:31,316 You bullied your way onto my project, 538 00:23:31,399 --> 00:23:32,983 and I can't get in on yours? 539 00:23:33,067 --> 00:23:35,108 I'm sorry. My hands are tied. 540 00:23:35,192 --> 00:23:37,209 So how can I get my money out of the Sunset Brook project? 541 00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:39,775 You can't. I mean, it's been invested. 542 00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,126 And the paperwork's already been 543 00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:43,358 filed on the partnership, so... 544 00:23:43,441 --> 00:23:45,316 Well, I wasn't expecting a 12-month delay 545 00:23:45,399 --> 00:23:47,192 on the senior center. 546 00:23:47,274 --> 00:23:49,150 None of us were. 547 00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,959 So what's the other thing? You getting a better return? 548 00:23:50,983 --> 00:23:53,900 Is that, uh... Is that why you want to bail? 549 00:23:53,983 --> 00:23:55,108 Something like that. 550 00:23:55,192 --> 00:23:57,067 Jesus. 551 00:23:57,150 --> 00:23:58,459 You know, I thought we had a good 552 00:23:58,483 --> 00:24:00,900 business thing going here. 553 00:24:00,983 --> 00:24:04,150 I scratch your back, you scratch mine. 554 00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:06,192 See how you are, Gallagher. 555 00:24:06,274 --> 00:24:08,733 All right, don't forget my 25K. 556 00:24:17,025 --> 00:24:19,399 So we have a little sex toy obsession, do we? 557 00:24:19,483 --> 00:24:20,942 Obsession? No, no, I would... 558 00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:22,524 I wouldn't say that at all. 559 00:24:22,608 --> 00:24:23,876 It's actually the only sex toy we have, Father. 560 00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:25,942 Well, I'm sure you would both agree that 561 00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:28,524 exposing Amy to this kind of depravity 562 00:24:28,608 --> 00:24:29,626 is not in her best interest. 563 00:24:29,650 --> 00:24:31,441 With all due respect, Father, 564 00:24:31,524 --> 00:24:33,858 we're not exposing our daughter to any depravity. 565 00:24:33,942 --> 00:24:34,983 Need I remind you 566 00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:36,650 that your daughter brought 567 00:24:36,733 --> 00:24:39,274 a massive, veiny, vibrating dildo 568 00:24:39,358 --> 00:24:42,067 into preschool? 569 00:24:42,150 --> 00:24:44,524 Now, you may be asking yourselves how 570 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,566 a pious man like myself 571 00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:48,566 could have such carnal knowledge 572 00:24:48,650 --> 00:24:51,650 of sexual fetishes and addictions. 573 00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:53,566 Yeah, no, we weren't asking that. 574 00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,274 I'm actually kind of curious. Yeah? 575 00:24:55,358 --> 00:24:57,608 Well, prior to serving God, 576 00:24:57,691 --> 00:24:59,608 I was in the United States Navy. 577 00:25:00,816 --> 00:25:02,775 You have no idea what loneliness is 578 00:25:02,858 --> 00:25:04,775 until you're trapped out at sea, 579 00:25:04,858 --> 00:25:07,775 away from home for months at a time. 580 00:25:09,983 --> 00:25:12,274 I was at a low point in my life as our ship 581 00:25:12,358 --> 00:25:14,399 pulled into Subic Bay. 582 00:25:14,483 --> 00:25:17,691 Little did I know that my life was about to spiral downward. 583 00:25:17,775 --> 00:25:19,566 As we disembarked from our ship, 584 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:22,983 my fellow seamen and I were greeted by the warm smiles 585 00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,858 of the Subic Bay women. 586 00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:27,608 Let me tell you, a hug from a Subic Bay woman 587 00:25:27,691 --> 00:25:29,608 can take away all your loneliness, 588 00:25:29,691 --> 00:25:33,025 especially from one woman, 589 00:25:33,108 --> 00:25:35,192 named Ming-hang. 590 00:25:35,274 --> 00:25:36,816 Of course, I had to pay 591 00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:39,233 for her companionship, but what's a few pesos 592 00:25:39,316 --> 00:25:41,067 when you're treated like a king for an hour? 593 00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:44,441 Or in my case, a few hours, which turned into days, 594 00:25:44,524 --> 00:25:46,566 which turned into weeks, 595 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:49,025 and then, eventually, my going AWOL, 596 00:25:49,108 --> 00:25:50,316 and being served 597 00:25:50,399 --> 00:25:52,566 a military warrant for my arrest. 598 00:25:54,691 --> 00:25:57,274 Is this $22 for a grilled cheese? 599 00:25:57,358 --> 00:25:59,733 Who cares? Get what you want. 600 00:25:59,816 --> 00:26:01,816 I'm gonna splurge and get the Cobb salad. 601 00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:03,316 Final answer. 602 00:26:03,399 --> 00:26:04,691 Oh, salad's splurging? 603 00:26:04,775 --> 00:26:06,067 It has creamy dressing. 604 00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:07,942 Oh. 605 00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:11,900 So what qualifies you to be a sober companion? 606 00:26:11,983 --> 00:26:14,233 I don't know, really. 607 00:26:14,316 --> 00:26:16,150 I mean, I've never done it before. 608 00:26:16,233 --> 00:26:17,233 Um. 609 00:26:17,316 --> 00:26:19,650 Barney trusts me, I guess, 610 00:26:19,733 --> 00:26:22,358 and I know how a drunk thinks. 611 00:26:22,441 --> 00:26:25,025 Here we go. Virgin Bloody Mary. 612 00:26:25,108 --> 00:26:26,691 Are you positive it's virgin? 613 00:26:26,775 --> 00:26:29,524 It's absolutely, 100%, a virgin. 614 00:26:29,608 --> 00:26:32,108 Uh, and Coke for the gentleman. 615 00:26:32,192 --> 00:26:33,650 Let me put this tray down. 616 00:26:33,733 --> 00:26:34,650 I'll be right back to take your order. 617 00:26:34,733 --> 00:26:36,858 Kay. This is, like, an entire salad 618 00:26:36,942 --> 00:26:38,441 - on my glass. - Oh, yeah. 619 00:26:38,524 --> 00:26:40,444 Guess they have to make up for it being a virgin. 620 00:26:40,524 --> 00:26:42,900 Oh, my God. 621 00:26:42,983 --> 00:26:44,542 Hey, you told Fred the waiter that a virgin meant 622 00:26:44,566 --> 00:26:47,816 to make it a double when I was in the bathroom. 623 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,858 Fuck, I miss Barney. 624 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:52,108 Sh... 625 00:26:52,192 --> 00:26:55,150 Jesus Christ. 626 00:26:57,358 --> 00:26:59,192 Anyway, at first, Ming-hang and I 627 00:26:59,274 --> 00:27:02,399 just talked and made love. 628 00:27:02,483 --> 00:27:05,108 Then she introduced me to something called the Hot Carl. 629 00:27:05,192 --> 00:27:06,524 Do you know what the Hot Carl is? 630 00:27:06,608 --> 00:27:08,150 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We got it. 631 00:27:08,233 --> 00:27:10,566 That quickly led to the Dirty Sanchez, 632 00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:12,150 and then the gorilla mask. 633 00:27:12,233 --> 00:27:13,983 It got to the point where I couldn't orgasm 634 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:17,441 unless I was doing the Alabama Hot Pocket. 635 00:27:18,816 --> 00:27:19,608 Oh, that's when you defecate... 636 00:27:19,691 --> 00:27:21,775 Nope, Father. Too far. 637 00:27:21,858 --> 00:27:23,150 Oh, you're gonna stop him now? 638 00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:26,108 Anyway, the next time you reach for that dildo, 639 00:27:26,192 --> 00:27:28,025 or that butt plug, or that ball gag, 640 00:27:28,108 --> 00:27:29,441 you remember me, 641 00:27:29,524 --> 00:27:31,192 an innocent seaman 642 00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:33,192 just trying to serve his country 643 00:27:33,274 --> 00:27:35,942 while getting choked out to the point of asphyxiation 644 00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:38,316 by a Subic Bay woman named... 645 00:27:38,399 --> 00:27:41,566 Ming-hang. 646 00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:42,983 Father, our penance. 647 00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:44,650 Oh, yes, right. 648 00:27:44,733 --> 00:27:46,942 Um, say four Hail Marys 649 00:27:47,025 --> 00:27:48,358 and six Our Fathers. 650 00:27:49,441 --> 00:27:51,274 Thank you. 651 00:28:05,399 --> 00:28:07,150 Okay. 652 00:28:07,233 --> 00:28:09,358 - I just need your license. - Sure. 653 00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:13,524 Thank you. 654 00:28:16,566 --> 00:28:19,775 I see that you already have two mortgage loans with us. 655 00:28:19,858 --> 00:28:20,898 Yes. How long would it take 656 00:28:20,942 --> 00:28:22,942 to get more money against my property? 657 00:28:23,025 --> 00:28:26,274 - How much were you looking for? - $25,000. 658 00:28:26,358 --> 00:28:28,500 Well, we would have to start the whole approval process again 659 00:28:28,524 --> 00:28:30,274 and run a new credit check. 660 00:28:30,358 --> 00:28:32,441 We would need copies of your tax returns for the last 661 00:28:32,524 --> 00:28:35,108 two years, pay stubs for the last three months. 662 00:28:35,192 --> 00:28:37,108 Then we'll review all of your bank statements, 663 00:28:37,192 --> 00:28:39,192 just to ensure that you can complete the payments. 664 00:28:39,274 --> 00:28:40,816 After we have everything we need, 665 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:41,650 it usually takes the underwriter 666 00:28:41,733 --> 00:28:43,733 about six weeks to approve. 667 00:28:43,816 --> 00:28:46,483 Six weeks? 668 00:28:46,566 --> 00:28:48,441 I need the money immediately. 669 00:28:48,524 --> 00:28:50,067 Well, there is an expedited procedure, 670 00:28:50,150 --> 00:28:51,274 but that will cost you 10%. 671 00:28:51,358 --> 00:28:53,233 - How expedited? - Ten days. 672 00:28:53,316 --> 00:28:55,274 Do you want to start the application process? 673 00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:56,358 Yes. 674 00:28:59,150 --> 00:29:00,150 Okay. 675 00:29:00,233 --> 00:29:01,983 So this is the layout 676 00:29:02,067 --> 00:29:04,233 of Beckman Correctional, all right? 677 00:29:04,316 --> 00:29:05,542 This is the area you want to avoid. 678 00:29:05,566 --> 00:29:07,524 Anything on the west side, 679 00:29:07,608 --> 00:29:09,733 the showers, this side of the yard, 680 00:29:09,816 --> 00:29:11,192 and these cells. 681 00:29:11,274 --> 00:29:12,983 That is a lot of area I'm avoiding. 682 00:29:13,067 --> 00:29:13,983 You'll thank me later. 683 00:29:14,067 --> 00:29:15,192 All the inmates over here 684 00:29:15,274 --> 00:29:17,691 are murderers. Murderer, 685 00:29:17,775 --> 00:29:19,858 murderer, murderer. 686 00:29:19,942 --> 00:29:21,108 Jesus. 687 00:29:21,192 --> 00:29:23,316 So this 688 00:29:23,399 --> 00:29:25,900 is the primo area at Beckman. 689 00:29:25,983 --> 00:29:27,274 All right? I'm talking about 690 00:29:27,358 --> 00:29:29,399 Disney compared to that shit over there. 691 00:29:29,483 --> 00:29:31,399 So over here, you'll get your good weed, 692 00:29:31,483 --> 00:29:33,650 your coke, your smoke, and your Snicker bars. 693 00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:35,399 Anything you need. 694 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:37,084 Assume that anything you get from the west 695 00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:38,334 is gonna be laced with some shit 696 00:29:38,358 --> 00:29:39,375 that's gonna fucking kill you. 697 00:29:39,399 --> 00:29:40,608 Got it. 698 00:29:40,691 --> 00:29:42,025 Now, back in Disney, 699 00:29:42,108 --> 00:29:43,691 is where you'll find the guys 700 00:29:43,775 --> 00:29:45,858 that give the best blowies. 701 00:29:45,942 --> 00:29:47,524 All right? There's Ralphie. 702 00:29:47,608 --> 00:29:49,816 Clean, quick, easy. 703 00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:51,441 Old Man Stewie? 704 00:29:51,524 --> 00:29:53,650 He's good. The Senator. 705 00:29:53,733 --> 00:29:54,816 Oh, and Sasquatch. 706 00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:56,441 I don't know if he's still there. 707 00:29:56,524 --> 00:29:57,942 Big Pete, Medium Pete. 708 00:29:58,025 --> 00:29:58,858 All good. 709 00:29:58,942 --> 00:30:00,524 - Okay. - Hi. 710 00:30:00,608 --> 00:30:02,608 Anybody got any cash? I need $25,000. 711 00:30:02,691 --> 00:30:04,524 What? For what? 712 00:30:04,608 --> 00:30:06,792 I gotta put more money into this investment that I made. 713 00:30:06,816 --> 00:30:08,108 What investment? 714 00:30:08,192 --> 00:30:09,608 I put $100,000 into a 715 00:30:09,691 --> 00:30:10,983 parking lot that's gonna be... 716 00:30:11,067 --> 00:30:12,566 You got 100 grand? 717 00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:14,566 No, the... the bank gave me a line 718 00:30:14,650 --> 00:30:16,209 of credit against my apartment building. 719 00:30:16,233 --> 00:30:17,316 That's just dumb. 720 00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:18,983 Don't pay it back. 721 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:20,608 No, then they'll take the building. 722 00:30:20,691 --> 00:30:22,192 You could try to sell something. 723 00:30:22,274 --> 00:30:23,150 What about your car? 724 00:30:23,233 --> 00:30:24,733 It's a lease. 725 00:30:24,816 --> 00:30:27,566 I can do you a solid. 726 00:30:27,650 --> 00:30:28,691 Who are you? 727 00:30:28,775 --> 00:30:29,483 Antonio. 728 00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,274 He's a friend. 729 00:30:31,358 --> 00:30:33,358 Pleasure. I know some guys 730 00:30:33,441 --> 00:30:37,192 that know some guys, get you 25 grand, take a cut. 731 00:30:42,483 --> 00:30:44,067 I'm good. 732 00:30:44,150 --> 00:30:45,900 I think I figured it out. Thanks. 733 00:30:45,983 --> 00:30:47,733 Don't forget, 734 00:30:47,816 --> 00:30:50,067 I'm driving you to prison in the morning. 735 00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:52,316 Okay. 736 00:30:52,399 --> 00:30:56,067 Why is my sobriety so important to you anyway? 737 00:30:56,150 --> 00:30:58,399 It's not. My sobriety is important to me. 738 00:30:58,483 --> 00:31:00,358 That makes no sense. 739 00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:02,274 Look, if I help you stay sober, 740 00:31:02,358 --> 00:31:03,775 it helps me stay sober. 741 00:31:03,858 --> 00:31:06,150 So narcissistic. 742 00:31:08,441 --> 00:31:10,650 What if I let you touch these? 743 00:31:10,733 --> 00:31:13,192 This is Highland. This is Cosmetics. 744 00:31:13,274 --> 00:31:16,316 It's nice to meet you, ladies, but I'm... I'm not interested. 745 00:31:21,691 --> 00:31:23,858 - Shit. - What? 746 00:31:23,942 --> 00:31:25,816 Barney's gonna be a couple hours late. 747 00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:27,399 Are you kidding me? 748 00:31:27,483 --> 00:31:29,983 Look, um, I've got my brother's last dinner, all right? 749 00:31:30,067 --> 00:31:31,209 So your ass is coming with me. 750 00:31:31,233 --> 00:31:35,192 Fuck that. I am going to the bar. 751 00:31:35,274 --> 00:31:37,233 Jesus. 752 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:41,566 Two Flaming Dr. Peppers, please. 753 00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:43,983 You got it. 754 00:31:44,067 --> 00:31:45,650 What are you doing? 755 00:31:45,733 --> 00:31:46,983 Ordering us cocktails. 756 00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:48,192 Hey, she doesn't want those. 757 00:31:48,274 --> 00:31:49,483 Yes, she does. 758 00:31:49,566 --> 00:31:51,274 Well, I'm not gonna let you do this. 759 00:31:51,358 --> 00:31:54,025 You're such a buzzkill. 760 00:31:54,108 --> 00:31:57,150 It's only alcohol. Stop giving it so much power. 761 00:31:57,233 --> 00:31:59,274 It's like flavored water, for God's sake. 762 00:31:59,358 --> 00:32:01,775 Booyah! 763 00:32:03,816 --> 00:32:05,016 That's what I'm talking about. 764 00:32:05,067 --> 00:32:07,067 Thank you. 765 00:32:07,150 --> 00:32:09,025 Here you go. 766 00:32:09,108 --> 00:32:10,983 Come on, take it, you wuss. 767 00:32:12,483 --> 00:32:13,566 Hm. 768 00:32:13,650 --> 00:32:15,108 Please don't drink that. 769 00:32:15,192 --> 00:32:18,150 Douche-canoe, I'm a grown-ass woman. 770 00:32:18,233 --> 00:32:19,900 If I want to drink it, I'm gonna drink it. 771 00:32:19,983 --> 00:32:22,608 Hey, everybody, look, it's Jen Wagner, right here! 772 00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:23,691 Look! 773 00:32:25,150 --> 00:32:27,358 Hi. Hi. 774 00:32:28,441 --> 00:32:29,858 You asshole. Hi. 775 00:32:35,067 --> 00:32:36,858 I don't think you're gonna qualify. 776 00:32:37,983 --> 00:32:39,358 What? 777 00:32:39,441 --> 00:32:41,858 Uh, yeah, you don't have enough revenue 778 00:32:41,942 --> 00:32:43,733 to carry a third loan. 779 00:32:43,816 --> 00:32:45,126 Do you have any additional assets, 780 00:32:45,150 --> 00:32:46,858 bonds, stocks? 781 00:32:48,108 --> 00:32:49,399 No. 782 00:32:50,108 --> 00:32:52,192 Sorry. I can go ahead and push 783 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:54,067 this expedited application through 784 00:32:54,150 --> 00:32:56,067 and we'll see what the underwriter says, but 785 00:32:56,150 --> 00:32:58,399 I don't think you're gonna get approved. 786 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:07,942 Ah. 787 00:33:08,025 --> 00:33:09,375 You think this stuff makes us depraved? 788 00:33:09,399 --> 00:33:10,650 Fuck, no. 789 00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:12,650 Yeah, but the priest said that we're... 790 00:33:12,733 --> 00:33:14,067 Well, it's his job, Kev, 791 00:33:14,150 --> 00:33:15,274 to make us feel like shit 792 00:33:15,358 --> 00:33:16,542 about having a healthy sex life 793 00:33:16,566 --> 00:33:18,358 because he can't anymore. 794 00:33:18,441 --> 00:33:22,900 When is the last time we used any of this stuff, anyway? 795 00:33:22,983 --> 00:33:24,650 Like this butt plug? 796 00:33:24,733 --> 00:33:26,483 Watching the White Sox double-header. 797 00:33:26,566 --> 00:33:28,816 Oh, yeah. 798 00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:31,483 The rain delay. 799 00:33:31,566 --> 00:33:33,733 We just need to be more careful with the girls around. 800 00:33:33,816 --> 00:33:35,176 I don't want them walking in on us 801 00:33:35,233 --> 00:33:37,566 using any of this anytime soon. 802 00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:39,358 It'll probably just fall out, anyway. 803 00:33:39,441 --> 00:33:40,524 Excuse me? 804 00:33:40,608 --> 00:33:42,900 Of me. It'll fall out of me. 805 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:48,067 Let's just throw it all out. 806 00:33:48,150 --> 00:33:51,150 Hell, no. 807 00:33:51,233 --> 00:33:53,775 We're gonna have a ceremony, 808 00:33:53,858 --> 00:33:55,942 a proper good-bye. 809 00:34:00,233 --> 00:34:01,108 Hey, Fiona, can you take the Sprite 810 00:34:01,192 --> 00:34:02,566 off this check for me, please? 811 00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,108 Um, just, um, comp the whole thing. 812 00:34:37,816 --> 00:34:39,358 Fuck. 813 00:34:39,441 --> 00:34:41,608 - Knock, knock. - What? 814 00:34:41,691 --> 00:34:42,942 Sorry to interrupt, boss. 815 00:34:43,025 --> 00:34:44,775 It's Linus' birthday. 816 00:34:44,858 --> 00:34:46,667 We're gonna have a few drinks later if you want to join. 817 00:34:46,691 --> 00:34:48,483 Sure. 818 00:34:48,566 --> 00:34:50,983 Okay. 819 00:35:20,483 --> 00:35:22,816 Is that her? 820 00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:24,775 Stay here. I'll go get your medications. 821 00:35:24,858 --> 00:35:26,983 Yeah, okay. 822 00:35:27,067 --> 00:35:28,775 Hey, hey. 823 00:35:28,858 --> 00:35:30,025 Looking good, Dr. Jones. 824 00:35:30,108 --> 00:35:31,566 Thanks, Baxter. 825 00:35:36,942 --> 00:35:39,108 Uh, Dr. Jones? 826 00:35:39,192 --> 00:35:40,858 Dr. Ingrid Jones? 827 00:35:40,942 --> 00:35:41,858 That's her? 828 00:35:41,942 --> 00:35:43,775 Yes? 829 00:35:43,858 --> 00:35:45,608 We met the other day in the ER. 830 00:35:45,691 --> 00:35:47,816 You lured me in with Vicodin? 831 00:35:49,192 --> 00:35:52,025 Bitch-slapped me, called me Timmy? 832 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:55,108 You kissed me on behalf of Sarah Beth? 833 00:35:58,358 --> 00:36:00,108 You must have the wrong person. 834 00:36:03,775 --> 00:36:06,483 Baxter, tell Randy I'll be in my car. 835 00:36:06,566 --> 00:36:07,816 Oh, but... uh... 836 00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:10,399 Um... 837 00:36:10,483 --> 00:36:13,358 She was so different the other day. 838 00:36:13,441 --> 00:36:16,524 We really had a connection. She's so normal now. 839 00:36:16,608 --> 00:36:17,751 Well, they're always that way when they get released 840 00:36:17,775 --> 00:36:19,067 from here, Frank. You know that. 841 00:36:19,150 --> 00:36:20,192 I guess it's been a while. 842 00:36:20,274 --> 00:36:21,816 That man she was with, Randy? 843 00:36:21,900 --> 00:36:24,900 Yeah, her ex-husband. 844 00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,441 Good to know. 845 00:36:26,524 --> 00:36:28,316 W-w-what do you think? 846 00:36:28,399 --> 00:36:29,816 I don't know. 847 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:31,733 Looks like she could shatter your kneecap. 848 00:36:31,816 --> 00:36:33,691 She really does, doesn't she? 849 00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:35,316 Come on. 850 00:36:38,691 --> 00:36:40,751 - That's some bullshit! - Where's my shit, motherfucker? 851 00:36:40,775 --> 00:36:42,751 You didn't tell me we were having dinner in the ghetto. 852 00:36:42,775 --> 00:36:44,459 Hey, you had me running around the city all day. 853 00:36:44,483 --> 00:36:46,983 Least you could do is hang here until Barney comes to pick you up. 854 00:36:47,067 --> 00:36:50,025 Hope I don't get mugged in the meantime. 855 00:36:50,108 --> 00:36:51,691 Hurry up. 856 00:36:51,775 --> 00:36:53,816 You're gonna be late for your gang initiation. 857 00:37:05,274 --> 00:37:07,483 There she is. 858 00:37:09,983 --> 00:37:11,650 - They're leaving. - Shit. 859 00:37:16,483 --> 00:37:18,816 What? 860 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:20,399 Frank, what about me? 861 00:37:20,483 --> 00:37:23,108 Uh, take the, uh, number 16 bus. 862 00:37:26,441 --> 00:37:28,733 Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, I have a better one. 863 00:37:28,816 --> 00:37:30,616 So Carl's, like, five or six years old, right? 864 00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:32,733 Enough with these Carl stories. 865 00:37:32,816 --> 00:37:34,292 - Hey, let me get that. - No way. I want more. 866 00:37:34,316 --> 00:37:35,900 Me too. 867 00:37:35,983 --> 00:37:37,942 Wow, looks like you're the one going to prison. 868 00:37:38,025 --> 00:37:40,150 Mm, this is amazing. 869 00:37:40,233 --> 00:37:42,441 I can't believe you've never had White Castle before. 870 00:37:42,524 --> 00:37:44,650 I only eat carrots, and then I throw them up. 871 00:37:44,733 --> 00:37:46,733 Come on, tell the story. 872 00:37:46,816 --> 00:37:48,608 All right, so he's five or six years old... 873 00:37:48,691 --> 00:37:50,209 Wait-wait-wait, is this the penis or the cat story? 874 00:37:50,233 --> 00:37:51,900 - Penis. - Shit. 875 00:37:51,983 --> 00:37:54,399 And he thought pee was stored in his scrotum. 876 00:37:54,483 --> 00:37:56,441 - No. - But he called it his... 877 00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:57,524 - Bubble gum. - Yeah. 878 00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:58,792 'Cause it looks like bubble gum. 879 00:37:58,816 --> 00:38:00,192 He took a screwdriver... 880 00:38:00,274 --> 00:38:02,108 - No! - Yeah. Yep. 881 00:38:02,192 --> 00:38:03,626 - Is that what that scar is? - Uh-huh. 882 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:05,775 Well, and why the hell'd you do that? 883 00:38:05,858 --> 00:38:07,816 I thought I'd save some time, bypass the penis. 884 00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:08,816 Creative. 885 00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:10,192 See? I'm a genius. 886 00:38:10,274 --> 00:38:11,483 Yeah, you're a genius. 887 00:38:11,566 --> 00:38:12,775 Did pee come out? 888 00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:14,025 It smelled like pee. 889 00:38:14,108 --> 00:38:15,691 - Oh, God. - What a genius. 890 00:38:15,775 --> 00:38:17,858 Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. 891 00:38:17,942 --> 00:38:19,422 I got stuck on the El for 20 minutes. 892 00:38:19,483 --> 00:38:20,233 - Nice. - Hey, what's going on, Deb? 893 00:38:20,316 --> 00:38:22,858 Ooh. 894 00:38:22,942 --> 00:38:24,942 Yes. 895 00:38:25,025 --> 00:38:27,900 - Was it two? - Was it? 896 00:38:27,983 --> 00:38:29,942 Why is that chick from those makeup commercials 897 00:38:30,025 --> 00:38:32,566 having dinner with us? 898 00:38:32,650 --> 00:38:33,942 Oh, shit, that's you. 899 00:38:34,025 --> 00:38:35,816 - Mm. - Hey, she's also done 900 00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:38,524 17 movies and 4 TV shows. 901 00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:40,524 And nominated for three Golden Globes 902 00:38:40,608 --> 00:38:41,667 - and a People's Choice Award. - Whoa. 903 00:38:41,691 --> 00:38:42,691 You're famous. 904 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:43,733 You make a lot of money 905 00:38:43,775 --> 00:38:44,691 doing those commercials, huh? 906 00:38:44,775 --> 00:38:45,775 Hey. 907 00:38:45,858 --> 00:38:46,983 What? 908 00:38:47,067 --> 00:38:48,358 Say the line. 909 00:38:48,441 --> 00:38:50,399 - No. - Oh, you guys, 910 00:38:50,483 --> 00:38:51,816 come on, come on, come on. 911 00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:52,983 Come on. 912 00:38:53,067 --> 00:38:54,399 Come on. 913 00:38:58,399 --> 00:39:00,441 Face it. You're gorgeous. 914 00:39:00,524 --> 00:39:01,608 Wow. 915 00:39:01,691 --> 00:39:02,900 Whoo, whoo! 916 00:39:02,983 --> 00:39:04,274 Nice. 917 00:39:04,358 --> 00:39:06,274 Okay, now the Carl cat story. 918 00:39:06,358 --> 00:39:07,678 - Debs, you take this one. - Shit. 919 00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:18,441 Hey, turn off the music! 920 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:22,942 ? Happy birthday to you ? 921 00:39:23,025 --> 00:39:27,441 ? Happy birthday to you ? 922 00:39:27,524 --> 00:39:29,858 ? Happy birthday ? 923 00:39:29,942 --> 00:39:32,691 ? Dear Linus ? 924 00:39:32,775 --> 00:39:36,775 ? Happy birthday to you ? 925 00:39:36,858 --> 00:39:38,942 Whoo! 926 00:39:39,025 --> 00:39:40,858 Yeah! 927 00:39:42,192 --> 00:39:45,608 Ugh, I ate more tonight than I've eaten in a month. 928 00:39:45,691 --> 00:39:48,316 Hey, uh, you realize 929 00:39:48,399 --> 00:39:49,709 you haven't talked about having a drink 930 00:39:49,733 --> 00:39:51,316 since you've been here? 931 00:39:51,399 --> 00:39:53,108 I guess I felt comfortable. 932 00:39:53,192 --> 00:39:54,584 Plus, I can't drink after 7:00 anyway, 933 00:39:54,608 --> 00:39:55,792 because everyone's gonna smell it on me 934 00:39:55,816 --> 00:39:57,108 at my meeting tomorrow morning. 935 00:39:57,192 --> 00:39:58,691 Aye. 936 00:39:58,775 --> 00:40:00,733 How's my shiv looking? 937 00:40:00,816 --> 00:40:02,608 Mm, sharper. 938 00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,150 That thing can't puncture flesh. 939 00:40:04,233 --> 00:40:06,150 E... see, look at mine. Mm? 940 00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:07,566 Oh, wow. 941 00:40:07,650 --> 00:40:10,192 Take that, you rape-y pillow. 942 00:40:10,274 --> 00:40:12,691 Uh, can I give my two cents about prison? 943 00:40:13,983 --> 00:40:14,691 Sure. 944 00:40:14,775 --> 00:40:16,192 Find a hobby. 945 00:40:16,274 --> 00:40:18,108 Makes the time go so much faster. 946 00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:19,900 Oh, papier-mâché's good. 947 00:40:19,983 --> 00:40:22,483 Easy to do with toilet paper, glue, and water. 948 00:40:22,566 --> 00:40:24,233 You learn that from one of your movies? 949 00:40:24,316 --> 00:40:25,691 Bitch, please. 950 00:40:25,775 --> 00:40:27,233 I served time. 951 00:40:27,316 --> 00:40:29,192 48 hours for DUI. 952 00:40:29,274 --> 00:40:31,233 Oh, I didn't know I was in the company 953 00:40:31,316 --> 00:40:33,608 of such a badass. 954 00:40:33,691 --> 00:40:35,399 Maybe I should go to prison, too. 955 00:40:35,483 --> 00:40:37,900 Seems like the only way I'll find a real relationship. 956 00:40:37,983 --> 00:40:39,233 That's not true. 957 00:40:39,316 --> 00:40:41,233 It is. I'm unlucky in love. 958 00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:42,650 Men, women... 959 00:40:42,733 --> 00:40:45,566 Hey, you're a special woman. 960 00:40:45,650 --> 00:40:47,858 You don't want just anyone. 961 00:40:47,942 --> 00:40:50,566 No, you... you want somebody who gets you. 962 00:41:03,067 --> 00:41:04,375 I played a lesbian once in a movie. 963 00:41:04,399 --> 00:41:06,566 - Whoa. - Wow. 964 00:41:06,650 --> 00:41:07,650 Face it, 965 00:41:07,691 --> 00:41:09,108 you're gorgeous! 966 00:41:15,274 --> 00:41:20,150 If I don't come up with 25 grand... 967 00:41:20,233 --> 00:41:22,816 I'm gonna be in default on my partnership agreement 968 00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,150 and lose 969 00:41:24,233 --> 00:41:27,108 my $100,000 investment. 970 00:41:28,858 --> 00:41:30,858 I got my car repo-d this week. 971 00:41:35,150 --> 00:41:37,441 And I'll have to foreclose 972 00:41:37,524 --> 00:41:39,816 on my apartment building, 973 00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:43,942 and my credit will just be... ruined. 974 00:41:46,316 --> 00:41:47,716 My mom and I are getting kicked out 975 00:41:47,775 --> 00:41:49,524 of our Section 8 housing. 976 00:41:52,858 --> 00:41:54,192 That sucks. 977 00:41:55,733 --> 00:41:56,942 I'm sorry. 978 00:42:04,233 --> 00:42:06,108 What was that? 979 00:42:06,192 --> 00:42:07,524 Looked like a dick. 980 00:42:17,067 --> 00:42:18,067 Huh. 981 00:42:23,691 --> 00:42:25,358 Bye-bye, hot pink anal beads. 982 00:42:25,441 --> 00:42:28,067 We never really used them, anyway. 983 00:42:28,150 --> 00:42:29,733 I did. 984 00:42:31,358 --> 00:42:33,192 When you were visiting your mother. 985 00:42:33,274 --> 00:42:34,399 You did? 986 00:42:34,483 --> 00:42:36,233 Oh, yeah. 987 00:42:36,316 --> 00:42:37,733 I was so stressed that night. 988 00:42:37,816 --> 00:42:39,274 I thought I lost one inside me. 989 00:42:39,358 --> 00:42:41,192 I couldn't remember 990 00:42:41,274 --> 00:42:43,067 if I started out with five or six beads. 991 00:42:45,274 --> 00:42:46,816 Good riddance. 992 00:42:50,858 --> 00:42:53,942 Someone is up there, throwing stuff. 993 00:43:00,274 --> 00:43:02,316 No. 994 00:43:02,399 --> 00:43:04,691 I... I can't. I... I... 995 00:43:04,775 --> 00:43:06,983 I have a boyfriend. Oh, 996 00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:08,483 and I... I lied to him, 997 00:43:08,566 --> 00:43:11,150 and he's really mad at me. 998 00:43:11,233 --> 00:43:13,775 I might've fucked the whole thing up. 999 00:43:17,399 --> 00:43:19,274 I have to apologize. 1000 00:43:45,566 --> 00:43:46,733 Hey. 1001 00:43:48,150 --> 00:43:50,233 For your commissary account. 1002 00:43:55,358 --> 00:43:56,566 I'll pay you back. 1003 00:43:56,650 --> 00:43:58,399 No, you won't. 1004 00:44:56,524 --> 00:44:57,858 Are you stalking me? 1005 00:44:57,942 --> 00:45:00,691 Do I need to call the police? 1006 00:45:00,775 --> 00:45:01,983 I know it was you. 1007 00:45:04,650 --> 00:45:07,108 I was having a bad day. 1008 00:45:07,192 --> 00:45:09,816 My medications were off. 1009 00:45:09,900 --> 00:45:11,650 Wasn't the real me. 1010 00:45:11,733 --> 00:45:15,108 I think it was the real you, and I loved it. 1011 00:45:15,192 --> 00:45:17,192 What? 1012 00:45:17,274 --> 00:45:19,566 You don't have anything to be ashamed of. 1013 00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:21,399 You are fantastic. 1014 00:45:23,733 --> 00:45:25,733 I wish I were normal. 1015 00:45:26,483 --> 00:45:27,608 Why? 1016 00:45:29,192 --> 00:45:31,900 I-I don't really like that part of me. 1017 00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,233 I do. 1018 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:44,733 Hi, it's me. 1019 00:45:46,900 --> 00:45:49,233 I'm sorry about our stupid fight. 1020 00:46:03,358 --> 00:46:04,441 You... 1021 00:46:11,233 --> 00:46:14,233 Hi, it's me. You didn't come home. 1022 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:16,441 Call me. 1023 00:46:20,524 --> 00:46:23,483 Oh. 1024 00:46:27,192 --> 00:46:29,441 Oh, I can't... 1025 00:46:45,848 --> 00:46:47,481 _ 1026 00:46:48,816 --> 00:46:50,090 _ 1027 00:47:41,858 --> 00:47:43,983 Hi. Is Ford here? 1028 00:47:44,067 --> 00:47:46,108 Do you know what time it is? 1029 00:47:46,192 --> 00:47:47,566 What's going on? 1030 00:47:52,274 --> 00:47:53,274 Fiona. 1031 00:47:55,858 --> 00:47:57,150 I got this, Patty. 1032 00:47:58,441 --> 00:48:00,192 Patty. 1033 00:48:00,274 --> 00:48:03,358 You s... You said Patty was your mother. 1034 00:48:03,441 --> 00:48:04,983 I'm his wife. 1035 00:48:05,942 --> 00:48:07,524 Daddy... 1036 00:48:08,900 --> 00:48:10,691 I can't sleep. 1037 00:48:10,775 --> 00:48:12,358 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 1038 00:48:12,441 --> 00:48:13,858 Let's go back to bed. 1039 00:48:13,942 --> 00:48:14,733 Fiona... 1040 00:48:14,816 --> 00:48:17,399 I'm such a fucking idiot. 1041 00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:20,067 Fiona, wait. Patty and I are separated. 1042 00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:21,691 That didn't look separated to me. 1043 00:48:21,775 --> 00:48:22,816 We're getting a divorce. 1044 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,399 Why wouldn't you just 1045 00:48:24,483 --> 00:48:25,983 tell me that you're married? 1046 00:48:26,067 --> 00:48:27,566 We stayed together for the kid. 1047 00:48:27,650 --> 00:48:29,524 Oh. 1048 00:48:29,608 --> 00:48:32,858 Holy shit, you're a fucking asshole. 1049 00:48:32,942 --> 00:48:35,150 Fiona, just listen to me. 1050 00:48:35,233 --> 00:48:36,067 Fiona. 1051 00:48:36,150 --> 00:48:37,566 Can't believe this... 1052 00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:39,456 Fiona, listen to me for a second. 1053 00:48:39,481 --> 00:48:41,150 This is fucking... take your fucking 1054 00:48:41,181 --> 00:48:42,441 - hand off my car. - Don't do this, Fiona. 1055 00:48:42,524 --> 00:48:43,751 - Take your fucking hand... - No way! Fucking no! 1056 00:48:43,775 --> 00:48:45,608 Take your fucking hands off my car! 1057 00:48:45,691 --> 00:48:48,025 Fiona! Fiona! 1058 00:48:54,358 --> 00:48:55,650 Fiona! 1059 00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:57,608 Fiona! 1060 00:49:02,608 --> 00:49:05,233 Don't touch me. Don't touch me. 1061 00:49:05,316 --> 00:49:07,900 - Relax, relax. - Fu-fuck. 1062 00:49:07,983 --> 00:49:10,650 She's bleeding. She's fucking bleeding. 1063 00:49:10,733 --> 00:49:12,316 Oh, fuck... 1064 00:49:12,399 --> 00:49:14,566 - Fiona... - Fuck.... 1065 00:49:16,733 --> 00:49:18,192 Oh, fuck. 1066 00:49:18,274 --> 00:49:19,483 Fuck. 1067 00:49:19,566 --> 00:49:21,650 Fiona! 1068 00:49:29,608 --> 00:49:31,248 You sure she said she was gonna drive you? 1069 00:49:31,274 --> 00:49:32,691 Yep. 1070 00:49:32,775 --> 00:49:34,399 Still going to voice mail. 1071 00:49:37,025 --> 00:49:38,399 How about Uncle Kev drives you? 1072 00:49:40,983 --> 00:49:42,691 I'll go get my truck. 1073 00:49:42,775 --> 00:49:44,025 Thanks, man. 1074 00:50:19,108 --> 00:50:20,358 All right. 1075 00:50:22,316 --> 00:50:24,274 I, uh... 1076 00:50:24,358 --> 00:50:25,838 thought Geneva and some of the others 1077 00:50:25,900 --> 00:50:27,358 would be here, but... 1078 00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:31,316 You can only count on family, dude. 1079 00:50:35,025 --> 00:50:36,733 I'm gonna miss you. 1080 00:50:49,358 --> 00:50:50,983 Don't get too raped in there, all right? 1081 00:50:51,067 --> 00:50:52,483 - Kevin! - I'm sorry. 1082 00:50:52,566 --> 00:50:54,168 I don't know what to say in these situations. 1083 00:50:54,192 --> 00:50:55,942 How about "Bye" and "I love you"? 1084 00:50:57,358 --> 00:50:59,150 B-bye, man. 1085 00:50:59,233 --> 00:51:00,775 I love you. 1086 00:51:00,858 --> 00:51:02,274 I love you guys, too. 1087 00:51:08,775 --> 00:51:10,441 Hey, uh... 1088 00:51:14,399 --> 00:51:16,108 Thanks for being my brother. 1089 00:51:16,192 --> 00:51:18,650 Uh, never had a choice. 1090 00:51:26,233 --> 00:51:28,816 All right. 1091 00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:30,025 See you guys. 1092 00:51:31,816 --> 00:51:32,816 Have a good one. 1093 00:51:32,858 --> 00:51:33,858 See ya. 1094 00:51:34,983 --> 00:51:36,358 Open up! 1095 00:51:39,025 --> 00:51:40,025 Let's go. 1096 00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:20,566 Knock it off. 1097 00:52:50,524 --> 00:52:52,233 I rolled on the cartel I was working for, 1098 00:52:52,316 --> 00:52:54,942 and in exchange, guess who gets 1099 00:52:55,025 --> 00:52:56,733 to pick where he gets locked up? 1100 00:52:56,816 --> 00:52:58,983 Holy fuck. 1101 00:52:59,067 --> 00:53:01,858 Oh, hey, I got bottom, 1102 00:53:01,942 --> 00:53:03,566 so... 1103 00:53:03,650 --> 00:53:06,233 you're on top. 1104 00:53:27,845 --> 00:53:33,595 CREDITS