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credits

2
00:00:47,031 --> 00:00:50,301
People, it's time
we faced some hard truths.

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The town is looking
to us for answers,

4
00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:55,253
and all we keep doing
is burying our heads.

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We need to cut the budget for
this year's Christmas pageant.

6
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My God.

7
00:01:02,631 --> 00:01:05,397
I've asked the director of
the holiday show to stop by

8
00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:07,566
so we can all give him the news.

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00:01:07,591 --> 00:01:09,314
He's not going to
take this well.

10
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If he doesn't, we
should just let him go.

11
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God knows it's about time.

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Hey, a lot of people
like him, all right?

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Yeah, and lot of people
think he stinks.

14
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Let's just get this over with.

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All right, send him in.

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Howwwwdy ho!

17
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You wanted to see me?

18
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Better hurry.

19
00:01:26,088 --> 00:01:29,058
We only have two months
before Christmas!

20
00:01:29,091 --> 00:01:31,827
Mr. Hankey, we called
you in to let you know that

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your Christmas-pageant
funding has been cut.

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By half.

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What?

24
00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:40,811
But I can barely make a good
Christmas show with what I have!

25
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We just don't have the support
for the Christmas show

26
00:01:43,112 --> 00:01:44,314
that we used to.

27
00:01:44,339 --> 00:01:47,184
The truth is, some people
find you offensive.

28
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Offensive? What about
me is offensive?

29
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Some people think that shit

30
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isn't the best
representation of Christmas.

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You... You people can't do this.

32
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Christmas is the most
magical time of the year.

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00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:01,600
The decision has
already been made.

34
00:02:01,624 --> 00:02:04,794
Thank you, Mr. Hankey,
and good luck with the show.

35
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:18,473
Okay, stop.

36
00:02:18,625 --> 00:02:21,377
Kids, the song's called
"Deck the Halls,"

37
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not "Let's All Suck Balls."

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Now, come on, kids.

39
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Why do we have to do this now?

40
00:02:26,485 --> 00:02:28,150
Yeah, It's not even
Halloween yet.

41
00:02:28,176 --> 00:02:31,288
Restoration Hardware put up
their Christmas decorations

42
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,289
two weeks ago, all right?!

43
00:02:33,322 --> 00:02:35,987
Now, listen, I didn't
want this, either.

44
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I wanted the Denver Symphony.

45
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But they cut my budget,
and I'm stuck with you.

46
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Now, let's take it from the top!

47
00:02:57,596 --> 00:02:59,657
Vice Principal Strong Woman?

48
00:02:59,682 --> 00:03:01,584
Yes, PC Principal?

49
00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:04,059
I was seeing if there's anything

50
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,355
you might want to
discuss with me.

51
00:03:06,389 --> 00:03:09,225
What would we need to discuss?

52
00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:12,953
I am so sorry that I took
advantage of my position

53
00:03:12,978 --> 00:03:16,165
and manipulated you into
a physical encounter.

54
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Hey, I am a strong
woman, all right?

55
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:20,136
I don't get manipulated.

56
00:03:20,169 --> 00:03:21,337
We both are guilty

57
00:03:21,370 --> 00:03:23,940
of an ill-advised relationship
at the workplace,

58
00:03:23,973 --> 00:03:25,174
but that was long ago,

59
00:03:25,207 --> 00:03:27,176
and I have decided
to move forward.

60
00:03:27,209 --> 00:03:29,245
Are you sure we
can move forward?

61
00:03:29,278 --> 00:03:32,281
Why not? We make a
mistake, we move forward.

62
00:03:32,315 --> 00:03:35,952
I was just thinking there might still
possibly be some fallout from...

63
00:03:35,985 --> 00:03:38,054
Nope. We're just gonna
forget about it

64
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,188
and put it to rest.

65
00:03:39,221 --> 00:03:41,190
You don't think
there's anything else

66
00:03:41,223 --> 00:03:42,291
to dis... to discuss?

67
00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:44,780
No, I don't. Bye-bye.

68
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,477
Dude. Kyle. Dude.

69
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,145
- Dude.
- What?

70
00:04:03,179 --> 00:04:05,581
Did you read what Mr. Hankey
tweeted last night?

71
00:04:05,615 --> 00:04:07,383
What Mr. Hankey tweeted?

72
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:09,151
Yeah, I guess after
band rehearsals,

73
00:04:09,185 --> 00:04:10,799
he went on Twitter
to talk about us.

74
00:04:10,824 --> 00:04:11,767
Look.

75
00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:14,867
Jesus Christ, dude.

76
00:04:16,115 --> 00:04:18,236
? Santa Claus is on his way ?

77
00:04:18,261 --> 00:04:20,319
? He's loaded goodies
on his sleigh ?

78
00:04:20,725 --> 00:04:22,850
? He'll drop 'em off
on Christmas Day ?

79
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:23,747
Mr. Hankey?

80
00:04:23,772 --> 00:04:25,115
Kyle!

81
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,984
Howwwwwdy ho!

82
00:04:27,103 --> 00:04:29,543
Mr. Hankey, everyone's
really mad at you.

83
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,604
Were you on Twitter last night?

84
00:04:32,346 --> 00:04:34,143
Yeeeahhhh.

85
00:04:34,176 --> 00:04:36,112
Did you tweet, "The
kids of South Park

86
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,481
are retarded homos who
can't play music"?

87
00:04:39,035 --> 00:04:41,284
Eeeeeyeeaaahhhhh.

88
00:04:41,317 --> 00:04:42,451
Why would you tweet that?!

89
00:04:42,485 --> 00:04:44,120
All the kids are
really pissed off!

90
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,756
It was a bad attempt at a joke.
I'm sorry.

91
00:04:46,789 --> 00:04:49,659
Will you please tell the
kids I didn't mean it?

92
00:04:49,692 --> 00:04:51,036
What do you want me to say?

93
00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,663
The fact is, I couldn't
sleep last night,

94
00:04:53,696 --> 00:04:55,097
so I took some Ambien.

95
00:04:55,131 --> 00:04:56,547
You ever take that stuff?

96
00:04:56,572 --> 00:04:58,808
It turns your brains
into oatmeal.

97
00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:02,227
Please, Kyle, tell the kids
I didn't mean any harm.

98
00:05:02,252 --> 00:05:04,555
We've gotta focus on Christmas!

99
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:08,444
All right, everyone, listen up.

100
00:05:08,477 --> 00:05:11,480
The vice principal has asked
to speak with you today.

101
00:05:11,514 --> 00:05:14,450
She believes it is time
that we all as a school

102
00:05:14,475 --> 00:05:17,378
finally discussed in
vitro fertilization.

103
00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:18,688
That's right, kids.

104
00:05:18,721 --> 00:05:21,624
Many women today make the
choice to have children

105
00:05:21,657 --> 00:05:23,526
without a man in their lives.

106
00:05:23,559 --> 00:05:25,294
They can have their
eggs fertilized

107
00:05:25,328 --> 00:05:28,104
by an unknown person's
sperm in a lab.

108
00:05:28,129 --> 00:05:29,297
That's right, Strong Woman.

109
00:05:29,432 --> 00:05:31,367
In today's society, it
is wrong to just assume

110
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,656
that a pregnant woman had
intercourse with a man.

111
00:05:35,404 --> 00:05:37,607
St-Students at this school
need to be careful,

112
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because it can be offensive

113
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to asks questions like
"Who's the father?"

114
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You... You all
right, Strong Woman?

115
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I'm fine.

116
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So... So, we'd like to
have all our students

117
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talk to their parents tonight

118
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about in vitro fertilization,
and after that,

119
00:05:50,953 --> 00:05:53,049
let's just put the
whole issue behind us.

120
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That's my water breaking.

121
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Not a big deal.

122
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? Christmas time

123
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? It's Christmas time

124
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? Christmas time

125
00:06:11,741 --> 00:06:13,239
? Yeah, Christmas time

126
00:06:13,264 --> 00:06:14,588
Hankey!

127
00:06:15,077 --> 00:06:17,580
We need to talk about
what you tweeted!

128
00:06:18,172 --> 00:06:20,149
I'm so sorry.

129
00:06:20,174 --> 00:06:21,884
I took Ambien two nights ago,

130
00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:24,186
and I called the
school kids homos.

131
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No, I'm talking about what
you tweeted last night.

132
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:28,758
"The city council members

133
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:31,294
are a bunch of
pussy-licking Islamists."

134
00:06:31,327 --> 00:06:34,330
Geez. Did I say that?

135
00:06:34,363 --> 00:06:37,066
Listen, if you're tired
and you can't sleep,

136
00:06:37,099 --> 00:06:38,821
do not take Ambien.

137
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Okay?

138
00:06:40,403 --> 00:06:43,406
I'm afraid we have no other
option but to fire you

139
00:06:43,439 --> 00:06:46,368
as executive planning manager
of the city council.

140
00:06:46,735 --> 00:06:48,076
Fire me?

141
00:06:48,101 --> 00:06:50,236
No, no, no, please.
I'm really sorry.

142
00:06:50,848 --> 00:06:52,515
No, wait! Wait!

143
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,108
Please give me another chance.

144
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:57,673
Don't do this! What
about Christmas?

145
00:06:57,697 --> 00:06:59,897
_

146
00:06:59,922 --> 00:07:01,624
It's okay. We'll be
at the hospital soon.

147
00:07:01,657 --> 00:07:02,792
Just keep breathing.

148
00:07:02,825 --> 00:07:04,894
I didn't need your help.

149
00:07:04,927 --> 00:07:08,164
I'm just a co-worker helping
another co-worker in need.

150
00:07:08,205 --> 00:07:10,607
Yeah, well, people might
get the wrong idea!

151
00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:12,268
I have worked my whole life

152
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,970
to be the strongest
woman possible...

153
00:07:14,003 --> 00:07:17,239
A person little girls
could look up to.

154
00:07:17,273 --> 00:07:19,375
If those girls thought
that I was the type

155
00:07:19,408 --> 00:07:21,344
to get knocked up by my boss...

156
00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:24,380
I certainly do not want to put any
pressures on you as a female,

157
00:07:24,413 --> 00:07:26,916
but at times I wonder if there
is more we should discuss.

158
00:07:26,949 --> 00:07:28,718
There's nothing to discuss!

159
00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:32,922
I made a mistake, and
I am moving forward!

160
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,793
My civil rights
are under attack.

161
00:07:37,827 --> 00:07:40,229
They can't just fire me
from the Christmas show!

162
00:07:40,262 --> 00:07:42,031
The whole thing is my creation!

163
00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:44,642
Last night, you tweeted,

164
00:07:44,667 --> 00:07:48,337
"The city council can
suck my Mexican dick."

165
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,439
It was a joke.

166
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:52,615
Look at me! I don't
even have a dick!

167
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,702
Get it?

168
00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:57,246
Okay, okay, look, I know
It wasn't a good joke.

169
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,015
But it really wasn't my fault.

170
00:07:59,048 --> 00:08:02,412
The fact is, I went home
last night, and I was angry.

171
00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:05,474
I couldn't sleep, so
I took some Ambien.

172
00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:07,366
And then I started tweeting.

173
00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:10,059
Ambien messes with my head.
You ever take that crap?

174
00:08:10,092 --> 00:08:12,128
You want us to take
this up against Ambien?

175
00:08:12,161 --> 00:08:14,063
They have the best
lawyers in the world.

176
00:08:14,096 --> 00:08:15,798
Well, I thought maybe
I could get them

177
00:08:15,831 --> 00:08:17,733
in a defecation lawsuit.

178
00:08:19,235 --> 00:08:20,403
Argh.

179
00:08:20,436 --> 00:08:22,705
And I never, ever would've
said those things

180
00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:23,940
about the city council,

181
00:08:23,973 --> 00:08:26,175
but the Ambien makes
me kind of black out.

182
00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:29,578
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't
represent pieces of shit.

183
00:08:30,081 --> 00:08:31,147
Why not?

184
00:08:32,114 --> 00:08:33,082
Argh.

185
00:08:33,115 --> 00:08:34,617
And I just thought
maybe we could

186
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:36,886
convince the city council
to hire me back.

187
00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:39,755
Look, I'm sorry, but I
learned a long time ago

188
00:08:39,789 --> 00:08:42,611
that if you defend
poop, you get stained.

189
00:08:49,786 --> 00:08:50,666
Mr. Hankey?

190
00:08:51,249 --> 00:08:52,301
Kyle.

191
00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:54,575
Howwwwdy ho.

192
00:08:54,606 --> 00:08:55,741
What are you doing here?

193
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,601
Just trying to find some help.

194
00:08:57,945 --> 00:09:01,082
There isn't a lawyer in
town who will take me.

195
00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:03,846
Wait a minute... You!

196
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:05,448
You're the son of a lawyer.

197
00:09:05,481 --> 00:09:07,617
You have lawyer blood
inside your veins!

198
00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:10,620
You can help me with my
defecation lawsuit, Kyle!

199
00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:12,388
Me? What can I do?

200
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:13,381
Please, Kyle.

201
00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:15,646
You're the only person
left who can help me.

202
00:09:15,759 --> 00:09:19,096
You and me, pal, we are
gonna fight the system!

203
00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:21,772
Dr. Bender. Paging Dr. Bender.

204
00:09:21,797 --> 00:09:24,410
Your vice principal gave
birth to all five babies

205
00:09:24,435 --> 00:09:25,593
with no epidural.

206
00:09:25,618 --> 00:09:27,937
I must say, she's a
very strong woman.

207
00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:29,238
That she is.

208
00:09:29,272 --> 00:09:31,974
The quintuplets are all
healthy and resting away.

209
00:09:32,252 --> 00:09:34,404
There are her
babies right there.

210
00:09:38,743 --> 00:09:40,549
Dude. Bro.

211
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,652
Yes, cute, little
buggers, aren't they?

212
00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,153
Three boys and two girls.

213
00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:46,674
I think it's wrong to force
gender specification upon them

214
00:09:46,699 --> 00:09:48,023
at this young age.

215
00:09:48,048 --> 00:09:50,251
Funny. That's exactly
what their mother said.

216
00:09:50,326 --> 00:09:52,495
The quints are all
Caucasian, blue-eyed,

217
00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:54,397
and something kind of weird.

218
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:55,404
What's that?

219
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,075
Well, the babies are
all extremely PC,

220
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,510
the likes of which
I have never seen.

221
00:09:59,535 --> 00:10:00,772
Watch this.

222
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:02,962
Three
black guys walk into a bar...

223
00:10:06,392 --> 00:10:07,504
It's okay! It's okay!

224
00:10:07,529 --> 00:10:08,758
They left! They left!

225
00:10:11,386 --> 00:10:14,016
Doctor, would it
be possible for me

226
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:16,719
to hold the PC Babies?

227
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,496
I'm sorry. That's only for
the mother and father.

228
00:10:19,522 --> 00:10:21,390
Though, according to
the vice principal,

229
00:10:21,424 --> 00:10:23,947
the father doesn't even exist.

230
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:30,755
You guys! Hey, guys!

231
00:10:30,789 --> 00:10:32,800
- I think I figured it out. - What?

232
00:10:32,825 --> 00:10:34,760
How to get Mr. Hankey
another chance.

233
00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:37,229
There's by-laws in
the city council

234
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,372
that community service leaders

235
00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:39,931
can't be terminated
without a hearing.

236
00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,260
I need you guys there
as character witnesses.

237
00:10:42,736 --> 00:10:43,835
N-N-Nope.

238
00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:45,437
Not getting the stink on me.

239
00:10:45,796 --> 00:10:47,172
He has a right to be heard.

240
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:49,074
He's meant a lot to this town.

241
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,976
Dude, why do you keep
defending him, Kyle?

242
00:10:51,009 --> 00:10:53,511
Yeah, you know everyone in town
thinks he's a piece of shit.

243
00:10:53,545 --> 00:10:56,314
Come on, guys. We can't
just turn our backs.

244
00:10:56,348 --> 00:10:59,128
How many times has Mr. Hankey
been there for us?

245
00:10:59,351 --> 00:11:01,119
Once, kind of?

246
00:11:01,152 --> 00:11:03,221
Look, he messed up,

247
00:11:03,254 --> 00:11:04,731
but I don't know if he
deserves everything

248
00:11:04,756 --> 00:11:05,766
that's coming down on him.

249
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,392
I wanna stand by my friend.

250
00:11:08,312 --> 00:11:10,822
Let's see how that
goes for you in 2018.

251
00:11:18,729 --> 00:11:20,572
Vice Principal?

252
00:11:20,605 --> 00:11:22,107
My babies! Where are they?

253
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,775
Shh. It's okay. The
babies are fine.

254
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,521
Resting in the nursery.

255
00:11:26,011 --> 00:11:27,705
They're the most...

256
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,890
They're the most PC
babies I've ever seen.

257
00:11:29,915 --> 00:11:31,116
You shouldn't be here.

258
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,884
People will start
getting suspicious!

259
00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,753
Look, I was the one who
abused my position

260
00:11:34,786 --> 00:11:35,963
and took advantage
of a subordinate...

261
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,798
- Nobody took advantage of me!
- Not took advantage.

262
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,500
- You know what I'm saying.
- And I'm a strong woman!

263
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:40,992
All I want to do is help.

264
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,827
We can say I'm the manny.

265
00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:44,272
And if anyone has a
problem with that,

266
00:11:44,296 --> 00:11:45,573
then they have a problem
with gender biases,

267
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:46,932
and they can take it up with me!

268
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:49,334
We can keep the truth about
the babies totally hidden.

269
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:51,970
Yes, that curriculum
should be fine

270
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,205
for the students.

271
00:11:53,238 --> 00:11:55,407
I'll start working on
an all-school proposal.

272
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,175
Yes, very good,
Vice Principal.

273
00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:59,578
See that it is done by
back-to-school night.

274
00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:00,679
All right, Mommy!

275
00:12:00,712 --> 00:12:02,314
Your little bundles
of joys are here.

276
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,815
And who's this.

277
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,183
I am the manny.

278
00:12:05,217 --> 00:12:06,494
Anyone have a problem with that?

279
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,353
No, not at all.

280
00:12:08,386 --> 00:12:09,853
Everything good here?

281
00:12:13,091 --> 00:12:15,093
Aw! Are these PC babies?

282
00:12:17,429 --> 00:12:20,337
And now, live from
the town courthouse,

283
00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:23,305
It's the Hankey Hearings
on South Park 13.

284
00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:28,673
Mr. Hankey?

285
00:12:30,685 --> 00:12:33,688
14 hours ago, did
you or did you not say,

286
00:12:33,745 --> 00:12:37,052
"Everyone in South Park is
a goddamn douche bag"?

287
00:12:37,525 --> 00:12:38,593
Yes.

288
00:12:38,618 --> 00:12:41,656
That was a bad
attempt at a Christmas joke.

289
00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:44,723
But there's nothing in
that statement about Christmas.

290
00:12:44,748 --> 00:12:47,005
That's was I said,
it was a bad attempt.

291
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,303
What part of the
statement was actually...

292
00:12:49,334 --> 00:12:51,458
You wanna hear
a good Christmas joke?

293
00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:54,599
In 2005, you said that...

294
00:12:57,135 --> 00:12:59,222
You said that you
had no recollection...

295
00:13:00,849 --> 00:13:02,641
Sorry. I got the sniffles.

296
00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:04,476
Mr. Hankey, do you understand

297
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:05,987
how important
these statements are

298
00:13:06,011 --> 00:13:07,812
to the
citizens of this town?

299
00:13:07,846 --> 00:13:11,116
All I understand is, it's
only eight weeks until Christmas.

300
00:13:11,149 --> 00:13:13,351
If we don't
stop wasting our time,

301
00:13:13,385 --> 00:13:14,595
we're all
gonna miss out

302
00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:17,556
on the most magical
part of the whole year.

303
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:20,162
What did you mean
last night when you tweeted,

304
00:13:20,187 --> 00:13:23,196
"The Mayor of South
Park is a titless whore"?

305
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:27,566
Come on! It was a joke!

306
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:28,776
That's it! That's it.

307
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,778
I've had enough of
this whole fucking sham!

308
00:13:30,802 --> 00:13:33,738
Fuck all you and
this whole system!

309
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,574
It's Christmas time!

310
00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:38,977
It's okay.

311
00:13:39,002 --> 00:13:39,878
Shh.

312
00:13:39,911 --> 00:13:41,680
We just need to
get some diapers.

313
00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:42,681
Shh.

314
00:13:42,714 --> 00:13:45,478
What adorable little babies!

315
00:13:45,503 --> 00:13:46,518
Thank you.

316
00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:49,521
My, they look very PC!

317
00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:50,422
No, no.

318
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,857
They're not very PC, at all.

319
00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:54,025
Aww! Look at the PC babies!

320
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:55,829
They actually aren't PC.

321
00:13:55,854 --> 00:13:56,610
No?

322
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:59,405
Did you hear Monica Lewinsky's
becoming a Republican?

323
00:13:59,698 --> 00:14:01,977
The Democrats left a bad
taste in her mouth.

324
00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:07,405
God. Shhhh! No,
no, no, no, no!

325
00:14:08,028 --> 00:14:09,307
Shhhh! Is everything all right?

326
00:14:09,341 --> 00:14:12,477
- Look! More PC babies!
- They're everywhere!

327
00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:14,579
I told you we need
to shop separately!

328
00:14:14,613 --> 00:14:16,248
Shh! Shh.

329
00:14:16,281 --> 00:14:18,617
Excuse me, where is the
Oriental food aisle?

330
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,471
Shhh!
Quiet! There's PC babies!

331
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,358
Gee-whiz.

332
00:14:26,391 --> 00:14:28,260
Thanks for comin'
out with me, Kyle.

333
00:14:28,293 --> 00:14:31,217
These days, it's like
you're my only friend.

334
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,468
So what's the plan?

335
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,503
What you got figured out
to get my job back?

336
00:14:38,537 --> 00:14:39,971
I had a plan.

337
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,240
You decided to call the
mayor a titless whore.

338
00:14:43,097 --> 00:14:44,876
It was a joke, Kyle.

339
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:46,912
Sometimes, when I take Ambien,

340
00:14:46,945 --> 00:14:49,047
I'm really groggy and
moody the next day.

341
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,148
It's a real side affect.

342
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,516
It's printed right
on the bottle!

343
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,027
I don't
know how much longer

344
00:14:53,051 --> 00:14:54,219
I can defend you.

345
00:14:54,252 --> 00:14:56,254
People are starting
to think I'm shitty.

346
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,364
Kyle, don't you understand
this whole thing

347
00:14:58,390 --> 00:14:59,791
is a smear campaign?

348
00:14:59,824 --> 00:15:02,594
Why are people focusing on
a few stupid words I said

349
00:15:02,627 --> 00:15:05,286
when Christmas is just
around the corner?!

350
00:15:05,311 --> 00:15:08,316
It's like everyone's forgot
about what Christmas means...

351
00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:11,002
My God!

352
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:14,472
Kyle! That's it! The
holiday spirit!

353
00:15:14,506 --> 00:15:15,574
It's October!

354
00:15:15,599 --> 00:15:17,868
And that's the point!
Don't you see?

355
00:15:17,909 --> 00:15:19,010
What we need to do

356
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,279
is get everyone in
the Christmas mood!

357
00:15:21,313 --> 00:15:24,749
We can bring the whole spirit
of the holidays early!

358
00:15:24,783 --> 00:15:25,884
Okay, you do that.

359
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,586
No, no, no. Kyle,
you gotta help me!

360
00:15:27,619 --> 00:15:29,120
I can't do this alone.

361
00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:30,589
I have homework and stuff!

362
00:15:30,622 --> 00:15:32,424
You're all I have!

363
00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:34,226
Even my wife left
with the nuggets

364
00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:35,460
'cause of all the pressure!

365
00:15:35,493 --> 00:15:36,228
Please!

366
00:15:36,261 --> 00:15:37,629
Okay, fine!

367
00:15:37,662 --> 00:15:38,630
I'll help you.

368
00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:39,731
But listen to me,

369
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:42,334
I don't care how restless
you get tonight.

370
00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:43,969
No Ambien.

371
00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:46,872
Well, maybe just a "liddol"
if I really can't sleep.

372
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,573
No! None!

373
00:15:48,607 --> 00:15:49,784
If you want my help this time,

374
00:15:49,808 --> 00:15:51,343
you aren't taking
any Ambien tonight.

375
00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:52,143
That's the deal!

376
00:15:52,177 --> 00:15:53,979
Yay! It's a deal!

377
00:15:54,012 --> 00:15:56,147
Boy! Kyle, I'm so excited!

378
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:58,183
We're gonna bring the
spirit of Christmas

379
00:15:58,216 --> 00:15:59,618
to South Park!

380
00:16:04,613 --> 00:16:07,616
Aww, look at the
little PC babies!

381
00:16:07,649 --> 00:16:09,752
No. We're from Missouri.

382
00:16:09,785 --> 00:16:12,254
I know a PC baby when I see one!

383
00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:14,165
Who
loves social justice?

384
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,700
Who's the future? Who's
the big bad future?

385
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,447
Yes, they are.

386
00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:20,996
Aww, PC babies!

387
00:16:21,029 --> 00:16:22,240
All right. Please,
move along folks.

388
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:24,556
We don't want the
babies to get excited.

389
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:34,498
Hello, South Park!

390
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,640
Come on, everybody!
Get over here!

391
00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:41,225
Who wants to see a miracle?!

392
00:16:43,685 --> 00:16:45,721
Howwwwdy ho, everyone!

393
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,391
Guess what time it is?

394
00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:49,500
It's Christmastime!

395
00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,961
Ohhhhh.

396
00:16:52,985 --> 00:16:55,435
? Deck the halls and
trim the trees ?

397
00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:58,196
? Christmastime is here ?

398
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,943
? Gonna sing and flush
our worries away ?

399
00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:03,818
? It's the best
time of the year ?

400
00:17:03,843 --> 00:17:06,580
That's right, everybody!
Who loves the holidays?

401
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:09,754
Just like when Christ was born,

402
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,414
let's all be with our
mothers and fathers...

403
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,984
Let's not forget
that boys and girls

404
00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:17,974
all over the world are...

405
00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:23,325
Hey! Hey, careful! You're
upsetting the PC babies!

406
00:17:23,358 --> 00:17:24,593
The PC what? Listen!

407
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,229
Christmas season
means peace on earth

408
00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:29,164
and good will towards men.

409
00:17:30,999 --> 00:17:33,752
Look, what is the
holiday season about?

410
00:17:33,777 --> 00:17:35,679
It's about loving
each other, right?

411
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,673
Loving and... What?!

412
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,341
What are they crying about now?

413
00:17:39,374 --> 00:17:40,743
Sometimes, PC Babies

414
00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:42,444
don't even know what
they're crying about.

415
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,772
Well, then tell the babies
to shut the fuck up!

416
00:17:45,852 --> 00:17:47,616
Who the
brings a goddamn baby

417
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:49,294
a Christmas show anyway?!

418
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,712
Mr. Hankey, stop!

419
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,843
Lemme go, Kyle! These
people are idiots!

420
00:18:10,606 --> 00:18:12,541
Mommy, something stinks.

421
00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:14,524
Yeah, like shit.

422
00:18:18,317 --> 00:18:20,137
You stand up for all
pieces of crap?

423
00:18:20,162 --> 00:18:21,955
Asshole!

424
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,359
2018.

425
00:18:40,396 --> 00:18:42,404
Kyle, listen.

426
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,149
It was 3:00 a.m.
last night,

427
00:18:44,173 --> 00:18:46,306
and I still hadn't
slept, so I d...

428
00:18:46,331 --> 00:18:47,132
Kyle!

429
00:18:47,157 --> 00:18:48,392
Kyle, please!

430
00:18:48,474 --> 00:18:50,788
They're gonna run me
out of town, Kyle.

431
00:18:50,813 --> 00:18:52,614
They're going to erase me

432
00:18:52,648 --> 00:18:55,323
and everything I ever did.

433
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,604
You want them to erase me, too?

434
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:04,116
Kyle... we can all be
shitty sometimes.

435
00:19:18,182 --> 00:19:19,917
They're so strong...

436
00:19:19,942 --> 00:19:21,398
like their mother.

437
00:19:21,423 --> 00:19:23,987
They're so PC, like...

438
00:19:24,012 --> 00:19:26,256
whoever their father is.

439
00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:28,450
We'll never keep them quiet.

440
00:19:28,484 --> 00:19:31,353
Our only hope is to
keep them hidden.

441
00:19:32,957 --> 00:19:34,893
Can they ever know
that I'm their dad?

442
00:19:34,918 --> 00:19:37,801
We did the most un-PC
thing imaginable.

443
00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:40,162
Think about what that
would do to them.

444
00:19:40,187 --> 00:19:42,156
We can never let them
know the debaucherous,

445
00:19:42,197 --> 00:19:45,501
sickening circumstances that
brought them into this world.

446
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:48,504
Then, I'll just try to be
the best principal to them

447
00:19:48,537 --> 00:19:50,017
that I possibly can.

448
00:19:50,372 --> 00:19:53,075
And I'll be their
strongest vice principal,

449
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,911
and hopefully... the
world will calm down

450
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,327
and not do anything
to upset them.

451
00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:01,171
Today...

452
00:20:01,222 --> 00:20:04,610
South Park says goodbye
to Mr. Hankey.

453
00:20:05,156 --> 00:20:08,884
The longtime union of this
town and the holiday figure

454
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,721
is over for good.

455
00:20:11,305 --> 00:20:14,175
We should all feel pretty
great about ourselves,

456
00:20:14,502 --> 00:20:17,106
give ourselves a little,
nice pat on the back,

457
00:20:17,677 --> 00:20:20,513
as we, as a society, continue

458
00:20:20,538 --> 00:20:23,099
to try and sweep
away all the poop.

459
00:20:31,643 --> 00:20:35,347
Well, everyone... I
guess this is goodbye.

460
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,519
It sure has been swell...

461
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,888
No good-byes, Hankey.
You just need to go.

462
00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:41,533
We've already
called you a "Poober."

463
00:20:41,557 --> 00:20:43,926
A Poober
They have that?

464
00:20:46,295 --> 00:20:48,230
You mean Lyft.

465
00:20:48,263 --> 00:20:50,866
Well, okay. Goodbye, everyone.

466
00:20:50,899 --> 00:20:54,103
I hope I brought a few
smiles and a few laughs

467
00:20:54,136 --> 00:20:55,738
into your hearts.

468
00:20:58,586 --> 00:21:01,139
Goodbye, Mr. Hankey.

469
00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:16,649
Where will he go?

470
00:21:17,214 --> 00:21:18,627
He'll have to find a place

471
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:21,830
that accepts racist,
awful beings like him.

472
00:21:21,855 --> 00:21:23,565
There are still places out there

473
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:26,339
who don't care about
bigotry and hate.

474
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,136
Howwwwwdy ho!

475
00:21:31,161 --> 00:21:33,006
Cool, man.
Talking crap.

476
00:21:33,031 --> 00:21:34,265
Welcome, my friend.

477
00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:35,886
Please, rest your wary feet

478
00:21:35,911 --> 00:21:37,813
and make
yourself at home here!

479
00:21:37,846 --> 00:21:39,181
Hooray!

480
00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:40,687
_

481
00:21:40,712 --> 00:21:44,842
credits