1 00:00:03,376 --> 00:00:05,085 All right, well, that about does it, 2 00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:06,531 which means we are officially 3 00:00:06,556 --> 00:00:08,615 - on island time. - Yeah. 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,887 - Yeah, baby. Whoo-wee! - Here we go. 5 00:00:10,912 --> 00:00:12,054 - Island time. - Frank. 6 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,234 I'm so excited about this concert. 7 00:00:13,259 --> 00:00:14,693 - Thank you for the tickets. - Yeah. 8 00:00:14,717 --> 00:00:15,960 - I love Jimmy Buffett. - Yeah. 9 00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:18,847 And those Parrothead broads, they're wild. 10 00:00:18,872 --> 00:00:20,230 - I noticed that, they're nuts. - Yeah, yeah. 11 00:00:20,255 --> 00:00:22,862 - They are wild. -I hope he plays "The Piņa Colada Song," man. 12 00:00:22,887 --> 00:00:24,839 - Yeah, that's the best. - I gotta hear it. 13 00:00:24,864 --> 00:00:26,565 Yeah, I wish he would, too, but he won't, 14 00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:28,081 'cause that's, that's not Buffett. 15 00:00:29,223 --> 00:00:30,340 Yeah, no. H-He does. 16 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:31,630 It's, the one that goes, 17 00:00:36,951 --> 00:00:38,727 Yeah, no, I know the song, I know the song, 18 00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:40,860 but it's sung by a man named Rupert Holmes. 19 00:00:40,884 --> 00:00:43,107 - Who? -Are you sure? I feel like that's Buffett. 20 00:00:43,132 --> 00:00:44,543 We've been going to see Buffett for 20 years. 21 00:00:44,568 --> 00:00:45,387 Have you ever heard him play it? 22 00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:46,325 No, but he's not gonna play all 23 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,826 of his hits every single time. 24 00:00:47,851 --> 00:00:49,700 Yeah, no, he is. That's what he does. 25 00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,348 That's actually the only thing he does. 26 00:00:51,373 --> 00:00:52,927 And that's just not one of them, but, hey, listen, buddy, 27 00:00:52,951 --> 00:00:54,627 you want to hear that song, you go ahead 28 00:00:54,651 --> 00:00:56,682 and request away. I won't stop you. 29 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,176 I hope he plays that one. 30 00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:05,993 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all do. - Yeah, he won't, he won't. 31 00:01:06,017 --> 00:01:08,582 W-Were you in the women's room? 32 00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:11,340 - Well, don't do that. Don't use my bathroom. -Why not? 33 00:01:11,365 --> 00:01:13,293 'Cause it's my bathroom, and you're a man. 34 00:01:13,318 --> 00:01:15,184 No. Well, now, as a gay man, 35 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,727 I just feel more comfortable in the ladies' room. 36 00:01:16,751 --> 00:01:18,356 Come on, the... With the gay thing again. 37 00:01:18,381 --> 00:01:20,207 Like, look, it makes me uncomfortable 38 00:01:20,232 --> 00:01:22,207 that you're in there using my bathroom. How about that? 39 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:23,950 Look, the whole men's and women's 40 00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:25,332 bathroom thing is antiquated. 41 00:01:25,357 --> 00:01:26,893 - Maybe you're antiquated. - Maybe I'm... 42 00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:28,693 Get off me! Get off me! 43 00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:30,223 - Get him off me! - Settle down. 44 00:01:30,248 --> 00:01:31,184 Don't. Come on. L-L-Listen... 45 00:01:31,209 --> 00:01:32,692 I know, I know, listen. 46 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,549 We always do this. We... 47 00:01:34,651 --> 00:01:36,996 We always get in some major tiff right before Buffett, 48 00:01:37,021 --> 00:01:38,996 and then, you know, it just, it just ruins 49 00:01:39,021 --> 00:01:41,129 - the whole island vibe, you know? - Yeah. 50 00:01:41,154 --> 00:01:43,543 Come on. We're not doing that this time. 51 00:01:43,568 --> 00:01:45,317 All right? This whole bathroom issue 52 00:01:45,342 --> 00:01:47,319 is a simple problem with a simple solution. 53 00:01:47,344 --> 00:01:50,850 So why don't we just sit here and let's just figure it out. 54 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:54,007 _ 55 00:01:54,032 --> 00:02:01,977 credits 56 00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:19,282 All right, now we're talking. 57 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:21,327 I tell ya, there's never been a problem so big, 58 00:02:21,351 --> 00:02:22,560 couldn't be solved by a late night 59 00:02:22,584 --> 00:02:24,042 and a little Chinese takeout. 60 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,559 We should've got cheeseburgers. 61 00:02:25,584 --> 00:02:27,941 Well, Frank, you know, I'm saving my cheeseburgers 62 00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,192 for paradise. 63 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,293 That is Buffett, that one, right? 64 00:02:32,317 --> 00:02:33,862 - Yeah, that's Buffett. - That's Buffett, okay, cool. 65 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,894 If I may go first. I'd like to go first. 66 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,593 Are we doing the whole stand up...? 67 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,460 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gonna do it. 68 00:02:40,484 --> 00:02:42,327 Now, guys, I believe that as a gay man, 69 00:02:42,351 --> 00:02:43,560 I should be able to use the women's bathroom 70 00:02:43,584 --> 00:02:45,894 because I feel more comfortable around women. 71 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,964 - Okay, why? - Well, "A," we both like dudes, 72 00:02:48,989 --> 00:02:51,761 and "B," we both find women's bodies disgusting, 73 00:02:51,786 --> 00:02:53,620 - so there's no hanky-panky. - Well, that tracks. 74 00:02:53,645 --> 00:02:54,493 - Yeah, sure, that makes sense. - Yeah, yeah. 75 00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:55,839 Done! I'm using the ladies' bathroom, right? 76 00:02:55,864 --> 00:02:57,519 N-n-n-n-n-n... My turn. 77 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,293 - My turn, right? - Do you have to...? 78 00:02:59,317 --> 00:03:00,808 - The floor is yours. - I thought Mac just solved it. 79 00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:02,761 - No. No, no. - No. -All right. 80 00:03:02,786 --> 00:03:06,362 Okay, "A," not all women like dudes... lesbians, 81 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:09,362 for example... and, "B," I find you disgusting. 82 00:03:09,387 --> 00:03:11,091 I don't want men pooping next to me. 83 00:03:11,116 --> 00:03:13,075 - Would you let a trans woman go in there? - Of course I would. 84 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,817 - But not me? -No, not you, because you're a man. 85 00:03:14,842 --> 00:03:16,327 You're a gay man, but you're still a man. 86 00:03:16,351 --> 00:03:18,260 I don't know why you're being such a bitch 87 00:03:18,284 --> 00:03:20,393 about this, Dee. I've been pooping next to you for months. 88 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,527 - What are you talking about? -You've been in the stall next to me. 89 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:24,727 I-I recognize you from those pink heels you have. 90 00:03:24,751 --> 00:03:27,206 - I don't own pink heels. - Yes, you do. 91 00:03:27,231 --> 00:03:30,214 The ones with the straps that, that makes giant feet 92 00:03:30,239 --> 00:03:31,464 look so dainty and cute. 93 00:03:31,489 --> 00:03:33,067 Mac, I don't know what you're talking about. 94 00:03:34,478 --> 00:03:35,903 Okay, um... 95 00:03:37,942 --> 00:03:42,434 All right, I think I can actually explain this. 96 00:03:44,428 --> 00:03:47,459 Charlie, I do hope that the explaining you're gonna do 97 00:03:47,484 --> 00:03:50,592 is about why this bathroom is so much cleaner than ours. 98 00:03:50,617 --> 00:03:51,784 Don't worry about it, this is the last time 99 00:03:51,809 --> 00:03:52,862 you're gonna be in here. 100 00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:54,262 Charlie, what is taking so long? 101 00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:55,747 Give me a minute. Give me a minute! 102 00:03:57,223 --> 00:03:58,112 There they are. 103 00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,480 Those are the pink heels I was talking about. 104 00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:00,693 Charlie, are you a cross-dress? 105 00:04:00,717 --> 00:04:02,870 No. I just like to use the women's bathroom, 106 00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:05,469 because it's, you know, it's quieter, it's less crowded. 107 00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:06,559 And very clean. 108 00:04:06,584 --> 00:04:08,260 Yeah, and, look, I-I just, 109 00:04:08,284 --> 00:04:09,327 whatever, I slip on the heels, 110 00:04:09,351 --> 00:04:10,593 in case someone looked under the stall. 111 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,427 I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. 112 00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:15,182 - That's it. - Okay. But what's with the wig? 113 00:04:16,927 --> 00:04:17,777 Come on. 114 00:04:17,802 --> 00:04:19,360 Don't make me do the whole thing. 115 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,958 The wig is just in case someone peeks over the top. 116 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:23,706 How about the dress, bud? 117 00:04:24,114 --> 00:04:25,627 Goddamn it. It... 118 00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:28,382 Whoa. Whoa. 119 00:04:28,407 --> 00:04:30,327 Okay, okay. Look, the dress just ties 120 00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:31,527 the whole look together, so, you know. 121 00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:32,933 You are a cross-dresser. 122 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,460 No, I'm not. Look, I was raised 123 00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:36,362 by a single mother, you know. 124 00:04:36,387 --> 00:04:38,605 And we were always on the go, and sometimes, 125 00:04:38,630 --> 00:04:41,402 we'd be at, like, a museum, or, you know, a stadium, 126 00:04:41,427 --> 00:04:43,426 and I'd have to go to the bathroom, and my mom wasn't 127 00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,493 gonna put me in the men's room by myself, 128 00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:47,034 so she carried around a dress with her. 129 00:04:47,059 --> 00:04:49,495 She would slip it on, and I would go in and out 130 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,393 of the women's bathroom and no one would notice. 131 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,097 And then, you know, as the years went by, 132 00:04:53,122 --> 00:04:54,839 I just got more comfortable pooping 133 00:04:54,864 --> 00:04:57,515 with a dress, so whatever, it's not that weird. 134 00:04:57,617 --> 00:04:59,593 - Hold on, though, it's very, very weird. - It is so weird. 135 00:04:59,617 --> 00:05:01,393 Look, lots of people do it. It's... 136 00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:02,527 - I doubt it. - I don't know anybody. 137 00:05:02,551 --> 00:05:04,327 - No. - Not one person on the planet. 138 00:05:04,351 --> 00:05:05,592 It is what it is, I mean, 139 00:05:05,617 --> 00:05:07,460 it's the only way I can poop, so... 140 00:05:07,484 --> 00:05:09,293 - Okay. - I guess it is what it is. 141 00:05:09,317 --> 00:05:10,560 - It is what it is, and it is very strange, 142 00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:11,693 but it does bring up an interesting point. 143 00:05:11,717 --> 00:05:13,493 You see, Dee, you did mention moments ago 144 00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:14,980 that you would be comfortable having 145 00:05:15,005 --> 00:05:16,560 a transgender woman use your bathroom. 146 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:17,593 Of course I would, so what? 147 00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:19,581 - Well... - No. That's not, 148 00:05:19,614 --> 00:05:21,360 that's not the same thing, he's not transgender. 149 00:05:21,384 --> 00:05:23,260 Well, no. He's-he's not transgender, 150 00:05:23,284 --> 00:05:25,714 but he identifies as a woman when he poops. 151 00:05:25,739 --> 00:05:28,394 No. No. Goddamn it, you're only saying that 152 00:05:28,419 --> 00:05:29,517 'cause my bathroom's nicer. 153 00:05:29,551 --> 00:05:31,460 No, no. I-I think, I think Mac is right. 154 00:05:31,484 --> 00:05:33,493 I think this system is antiquated, and I think... 155 00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:34,760 - Is that, is that a hand dryer? - Damn. 156 00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:36,560 - Yeah, there's a hand dryer in here. - Goddamn it. 157 00:05:36,584 --> 00:05:38,427 - -Well, let's vote. All those in favor. 158 00:05:38,451 --> 00:05:41,215 - Aye. - No. Goddamn it. 159 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,293 Nice. Okay, well, I knew we could solve it, guys. 160 00:05:43,317 --> 00:05:46,347 - This is great. -And then should we also change the signs on the doors 161 00:05:46,372 --> 00:05:47,739 to reflect that it's not a boys' room 162 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,527 - and a girls' room anymore? - Right. Yeah, no. 163 00:05:49,551 --> 00:05:50,964 We'll pop some new signs on there real fast. 164 00:05:50,989 --> 00:05:53,206 You know, so it's clear that any gender can use any bathroom. 165 00:05:53,231 --> 00:05:55,292 - Yeah, yeah. - How hard could that be? 166 00:05:55,317 --> 00:05:57,393 - The dss is making me have to poop really bad, so I'm gonna... -Okay, let's do it. 167 00:05:57,417 --> 00:05:59,677 - Goddamn it. - Gotta poop, gotta poop. 168 00:06:07,794 --> 00:06:09,464 Wait, wait, wait, wait. So, I'm sorry, 169 00:06:09,489 --> 00:06:10,575 what's wrong with this one again? 170 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,693 Well, I think it's confusing, is what the problem is. 171 00:06:12,717 --> 00:06:14,060 - Like, maybe we need words or something. 172 00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:15,693 Well, also, like, what's with the floating starfish 173 00:06:15,717 --> 00:06:16,793 trying to eat the rock? 174 00:06:16,817 --> 00:06:18,355 - That's a baby. - That's a baby? 175 00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:20,402 - Yes, that's a... - That's a baby? 176 00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:22,222 So, now what's happening, you got wheelchair guy's back there 177 00:06:22,262 --> 00:06:24,895 throwing babies around trying to get them in wheelchairs? 178 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,206 - It's confusing. - Okay, all right. 179 00:06:26,231 --> 00:06:27,893 So what if I cover up the baby, how about now? 180 00:06:27,917 --> 00:06:29,160 I don't get it. Now it looks like you either got to be 181 00:06:29,184 --> 00:06:32,152 in a wheelchair or a he-she to go poop in there. 182 00:06:32,177 --> 00:06:34,060 - No, no, no, no, Frank, come on, don't say "he-she." -What? 183 00:06:34,084 --> 00:06:35,059 - It's hermaphrodite. - Nope. 184 00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:37,615 Dee, you can't say that anymore, either. 185 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,700 - It's intersex. - Well, this is all confusing. 186 00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:41,339 Why do I have to keep learning new things? 187 00:06:41,364 --> 00:06:42,792 How about this? 188 00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,860 We'll call the bathrooms gender neutral. 189 00:06:44,884 --> 00:06:47,003 That makes me uncomfortable, because I'm not neutral 190 00:06:47,028 --> 00:06:48,193 about my gender. 191 00:06:48,217 --> 00:06:50,331 - So now you're uncomfortable, okay. - Okay. 192 00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:53,815 We put one sign on each door, both of them say "gender fluid." 193 00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:56,193 Right. 'Cause that-that implies, like, you're this, 194 00:06:56,217 --> 00:06:58,927 - you're that. -I don't know. I don't like thinking about gender fluids. 195 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,071 Like, just, it's a gross image to me. 196 00:07:01,151 --> 00:07:02,160 - All right. Well... - You know what? Look, look. 197 00:07:02,184 --> 00:07:03,992 It's just all so confusing. 198 00:07:04,017 --> 00:07:06,167 You know, we got to make this much simpler. 199 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,581 I have an idea, if I could just go do one that I think will 200 00:07:08,606 --> 00:07:10,926 - clear it al -Great. Go for it, buddy. Hop to it. 201 00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:12,627 All right, do it, yeah. 202 00:07:12,651 --> 00:07:13,727 - Quick. - Is the Internet working? 203 00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:14,860 Well, hang on. Hey. 204 00:07:14,884 --> 00:07:16,093 Yes, but you stay off it. You stay... 205 00:07:16,117 --> 00:07:17,793 - No. No. - No, no. I'm just... 206 00:07:17,817 --> 00:07:18,960 You crashed our last three laptops, man. 207 00:07:18,984 --> 00:07:20,660 - You are not doing it again. - Bring it out here. 208 00:07:20,684 --> 00:07:21,893 Do it out here where we can see what you're doing. 209 00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:23,083 - No, I'll do it in the office. - Do it in front of us. 210 00:07:23,108 --> 00:07:24,684 It'll take me, like, two minutes. Two minutes. 211 00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,552 - My God. My God. - You go fast. 212 00:07:26,592 --> 00:07:27,659 _ 213 00:07:27,684 --> 00:07:28,675 I'm-I'm finished. 214 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,614 - I'm finally finished. -God. It's about time. -Goddamn it. 215 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,065 - He's limping. - Are you chafed? 216 00:07:32,091 --> 00:07:33,993 - He's chafed. -Yeah. Super chafed. Hey, do you know 217 00:07:34,017 --> 00:07:36,206 how to get Russian malware out of a computer? 218 00:07:36,231 --> 00:07:38,066 - No. -Wait. -Then the computer's broken. 219 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,727 - Yeah. - Yeah. 220 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,499 - Yeah, but the sign's done. - All right, man. 221 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:42,644 Let's see what you got. 222 00:07:43,403 --> 00:07:44,630 What do you think? 223 00:07:44,884 --> 00:07:46,760 Well, I don't know what I'm looking at. 224 00:07:46,784 --> 00:07:48,027 Yeah. What-what am I seeing here? 225 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,715 It's just dicks. 226 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:50,827 No. There's... I mean, yes. 227 00:07:50,851 --> 00:07:51,893 There are a couple of dicks, but... 228 00:07:51,917 --> 00:07:53,127 - It's mostly dicks. - That's a lot of dicks. 229 00:07:53,151 --> 00:07:54,727 Now... now all I see is dicks. 230 00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:55,860 No, there's also pictures 231 00:07:55,884 --> 00:07:57,860 of road kill and roast beef sandwiches 232 00:07:57,884 --> 00:08:00,464 to accurately depict what a vagina looks like. 233 00:08:03,409 --> 00:08:05,267 Okay. Anyone else uncomfortable? 234 00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:07,826 All right. Moving on. 235 00:08:07,851 --> 00:08:10,027 All right. I'm just gonna go back to the office. 236 00:08:10,051 --> 00:08:11,727 - No, you stay here. - No. No, no, no. No! 237 00:08:11,751 --> 00:08:13,031 You are not going back to the... 238 00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:17,353 - Yeah. - All right, all right. 239 00:08:17,378 --> 00:08:18,927 So, this... I think this covers it all, right? 240 00:08:18,951 --> 00:08:21,017 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that. There's the man. 241 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,134 The woman. 242 00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:23,830 That's the he-shes, 243 00:08:23,855 --> 00:08:25,634 or the interspecies, whatever it is. 244 00:08:25,659 --> 00:08:26,915 Yeah, whatever you said. 245 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,205 And this is Christians, 246 00:08:28,456 --> 00:08:29,859 - Muslims. - I assume 247 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,323 the dollar sign is meant to represent Jews? 248 00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:33,915 Well, it ain't the Mormons. 249 00:08:34,477 --> 00:08:35,564 Let's not get into that. 250 00:08:35,589 --> 00:08:36,727 Okay, you know what? 251 00:08:36,751 --> 00:08:37,927 - Why-why are we bringing...? - I was against it. Yeah. 252 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,862 Why are we bringing religion into this at all? 253 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,565 Because I want to know who's in there, 254 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:43,760 - because it'll make me feel safer. - Goddamn. 255 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,303 Can we please put two signs on the doors? 256 00:08:45,328 --> 00:08:47,698 - Both signs say "toilet." - Yeah... 257 00:08:48,815 --> 00:08:50,423 There's a toilet in there, 258 00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:51,859 and that's all you really to know. 259 00:08:51,884 --> 00:08:53,393 - That's a good point. I think that would work. - Could say "toilet," 260 00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:54,860 - and then it's kind of your choice which one you use. -Just "toilet." 261 00:08:54,884 --> 00:08:56,015 That actually does work. 262 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,160 - I feel like that totally works. - Yeah. -We solved it? 263 00:08:58,184 --> 00:08:59,960 - Okay, great. We so... -Did we do it? - We solved it! 264 00:08:59,984 --> 00:09:01,227 - We solved it! - Right! God! 265 00:09:01,251 --> 00:09:02,620 - Let's get the hell out of here. - All right. 266 00:09:02,645 --> 00:09:04,160 I think it was my idea, but, yeah. 267 00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:05,860 You son of a bitch. Just go. 268 00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:07,127 - I think I said it first. - Just go. 269 00:09:07,151 --> 00:09:09,665 You guys, you go, and I'll-I'll lock up, okay? 270 00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:11,290 I've had Chinese food. It wants out, so... 271 00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:13,093 - Yeah. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 272 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,927 Why aren't you using the good bathroom? 273 00:09:14,951 --> 00:09:16,727 Well, 'cause I'm about to do some real damage. 274 00:09:16,751 --> 00:09:18,627 I don't... I don't want to do it in the good bathroom. 275 00:09:18,651 --> 00:09:20,111 Well, I'm-I'm uncomfe with that. 276 00:09:20,136 --> 00:09:21,994 - How? - So close. 277 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:22,827 We were so close. 278 00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:25,189 Well, because I just don't want to share my bathroom 279 00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:27,361 - with a bunch of broads. - What happened, Frank? 280 00:09:27,386 --> 00:09:29,455 - We decided we were all cool with it. - We were fine. 281 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,926 I didn't know she was gonna smash in there. 282 00:09:31,951 --> 00:09:35,615 A woman is not a lady when she's dumping up a john. 283 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,344 Also, this brings up an interesting point. 284 00:09:37,378 --> 00:09:39,220 We should probably confine Dee's damage 285 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,860 to, like, one bathroom or the other, you know. 286 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:41,993 Otherwise, I'm gonna have to clean both. 287 00:09:42,017 --> 00:09:43,362 Charlie, you're the janitor. 288 00:09:43,387 --> 00:09:45,197 You should be cleaning both bathrooms regardless. 289 00:09:45,222 --> 00:09:47,415 - He hasn't been. -Clean both bathrooms! - I do it. 290 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,927 Yeah, all right. Well, now you're just, like, 291 00:09:48,951 --> 00:09:50,160 kind of getting off-topic here, you know. 292 00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:53,126 I have an idea. The guys should be able 293 00:09:53,151 --> 00:09:55,276 to pick whichever bathroom they want. 294 00:09:55,315 --> 00:09:57,048 - Dee has to stay in hers. - What?! 295 00:09:57,073 --> 00:09:58,827 - All in favor. - Hey, that's majority rules. 296 00:09:58,851 --> 00:09:59,993 - Get out of here. - Yeah, yeah. 297 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,060 - There you go. Solves it. - No. No, no, no. 298 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,439 Absolutely not. No. You guys can't take away 299 00:10:03,464 --> 00:10:04,759 my right to choose. 300 00:10:04,784 --> 00:10:06,760 - You want to go there? - I do want to go there. 301 00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:09,587 My body, my choice. It says so in the Constitution. 302 00:10:09,612 --> 00:10:10,927 - Okay, well, the Bible says... - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 303 00:10:10,951 --> 00:10:12,693 No, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, don't do this. No, come on. 304 00:10:12,717 --> 00:10:15,400 It's crazy. All right. Don't make this about abortion. 305 00:10:15,425 --> 00:10:17,759 Guys, we always do this. We veer wildly off-topic, 306 00:10:18,144 --> 00:10:20,300 and the next thing you know, we're having some ridiculous 307 00:10:20,325 --> 00:10:21,853 argument that has nothing to do with what we're trying 308 00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:23,760 - to solve, you know. - And then tempers flare. 309 00:10:23,784 --> 00:10:25,827 Exactly. We're talking about evolution all of a sudden. 310 00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:28,682 Then we're arguing about racism or whether or not ghouls exist. 311 00:10:28,784 --> 00:10:30,693 - They do, though, 'cause I've seen one. - No, they don't. 312 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,760 - No, they do. - You-you've never seen them. 313 00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:32,927 - Yes, I have seen them. - No, you haven't. 314 00:10:32,951 --> 00:10:34,727 - Yes, I have! ! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 315 00:10:34,751 --> 00:10:35,927 - No, wait! Hey, stop! Hey, stop! - Charlie! 316 00:10:35,951 --> 00:10:39,026 - You stupid twink! - I'm a bear! I'm a bear! 317 00:10:39,051 --> 00:10:40,980 - You wish you were a bear! - Take it easy, guys. 318 00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:42,790 Stop! We're off-topic. This is not Buffett. 319 00:10:42,815 --> 00:10:44,150 This is not... We're not being very Buffett right now. 320 00:10:44,175 --> 00:10:45,927 - That was not Buffett at all. - We're not being very Buffett. 321 00:10:45,951 --> 00:10:47,093 - It wasn't very Buffett of me. - It's not Buffett, man. 322 00:10:47,117 --> 00:10:49,540 All right, all right. I got an idea. 323 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,595 It should just be about what's going on in there, right? 324 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:52,882 What if we have 325 00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:56,737 separate bathrooms... for separate bodily functions? 326 00:10:56,762 --> 00:10:58,860 Like a piss room and a shit room. 327 00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:01,306 Yeah. Exactly, okay? And, we just 328 00:11:01,331 --> 00:11:03,726 put very slabels on the door. 329 00:11:04,058 --> 00:11:07,056 Room number one for when you got to empty your balls, 330 00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:10,715 and room number two for when you got to empty your butt. 331 00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:13,409 Pee is not in your balls, but... yeah. Okay. 332 00:11:13,442 --> 00:11:15,093 No. I don't think it's gonna work because 333 00:11:15,117 --> 00:11:17,649 nobody can shit when everybody knows you're shitting. 334 00:11:17,674 --> 00:11:19,060 - Why not? Everybody shits. - Yeah. 335 00:11:19,084 --> 00:11:21,892 Yeah, but it's a shameful act that we all do in secret. 336 00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:23,993 - Well, that's true. - Even dogs know that. 337 00:11:24,196 --> 00:11:26,072 You ever see their eyes when they're doing it? 338 00:11:27,097 --> 00:11:28,160 They know. 339 00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:29,158 They look at you like this. 340 00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:31,159 - Yeah. - Yeah. They're ashamed. 341 00:11:31,184 --> 00:11:33,060 Yeah, well, guys, it's a system that invites abuse. 342 00:11:33,084 --> 00:11:35,064 I mean, who here would use the piss room to shit? 343 00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:37,060 No, that's the whole point, is that you just pee in it. 344 00:11:37,084 --> 00:11:38,660 - I wouldn't do that. - In the shit room, you shit. 345 00:11:38,684 --> 00:11:39,693 Yeah. No one's gonna do that. 346 00:11:39,717 --> 00:11:40,927 - Pee over there. - Really? 347 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,793 Yeah. I'd-I'd poop in the pee room. 348 00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:43,860 I would poop immediately in the pee room. 349 00:11:43,884 --> 00:11:45,760 100% of the time I will shit in the piss room. 350 00:11:45,784 --> 00:11:46,793 - You're totally right. - Actually, don't like this idea. 351 00:11:46,817 --> 00:11:48,027 See? There you go. I rest my case. 352 00:11:48,051 --> 00:11:49,860 Yeah. But you know what? Maybe people would be 353 00:11:49,884 --> 00:11:51,893 a little less inclined to cheat, and they wouldn't feel ashamed, 354 00:11:51,917 --> 00:11:53,793 if they had a little bit more privacy. 355 00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:54,927 Like, what if the partitions 356 00:11:54,951 --> 00:11:56,127 went all the way down to the ground? 357 00:11:56,151 --> 00:11:57,503 Yeah? 358 00:11:57,528 --> 00:11:59,827 And you created sort of a dome of privacy. 359 00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:01,127 - So you're closed in. - You're closed in. 360 00:12:01,151 --> 00:12:02,860 You know what you could do? You could add 361 00:12:02,884 --> 00:12:04,827 a scented candle in there for the smells. 362 00:12:04,851 --> 00:12:07,093 -Right. - And some noise to cover the sounds. 363 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,949 - Yes. -A loud noise, like screaming. 364 00:12:10,558 --> 00:12:12,127 Or just music. 365 00:12:12,152 --> 00:12:14,666 Let's do music. Guys, we're making progress. This is great. 366 00:12:14,691 --> 00:12:16,885 I'll tell you what. Dee, why don't you go grab some cardboard 367 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,103 - for the partitions. - Yep, yep. 368 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:20,205 And, um, I'll order us some breakfast burritos. 369 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,060 - It's getting to that time. - 'Cause I'm getting hungry. 370 00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:23,927 - Yeah! -Tasty. - Extra bacon for you? 371 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:26,105 - Okay, okay. Yeah. -Extra bacon, baby. - All right. 372 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,191 The screaming's kind of cool, right? 373 00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,853 It's better. It's better. Works better than the music. 374 00:12:38,878 --> 00:12:40,057 - I never would've thought. - Yeah, yeah. 375 00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:41,760 The mut was like, I felt like I could hear maybe 376 00:12:41,784 --> 00:12:43,860 - a poop or a pee happening, but the screams are... -Right. 377 00:12:43,884 --> 00:12:45,827 And I honestly, I feel like I'm not even in a bathroom 378 00:12:45,851 --> 00:12:47,860 - right now. -Yeah. Here you are eating a burrito. 379 00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:49,982 - Yeah. Yeah. - In a bathroom. 380 00:12:50,161 --> 00:12:52,892 - That was great. - Yeah, how'd that go? Yeah? 381 00:12:52,917 --> 00:12:55,027 I did something in there. I'm not gonna tell you what, though. 382 00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:56,960 Well, there's no need. I couldn't hear a thing, 383 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,227 - and I can't smell a thing, so... - Yeah. 384 00:12:58,251 --> 00:13:00,160 Hey, Frank, how's it going in there, man? 385 00:13:00,378 --> 00:13:02,541 The walls are too high. I don't know where to aim. 386 00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:05,033 - Aim? Aim-aim at the bowl. The toilet. - You just aim at the toilet. 387 00:13:05,058 --> 00:13:07,152 - The same spot. - What are you talking about? 388 00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:09,826 - Whoa! Hey! -Whoa! Goddamn it. 389 00:13:09,851 --> 00:13:11,760 Never sneak up on a man like that, 390 00:13:11,784 --> 00:13:13,944 especially when he's at his most vulnerable. 391 00:13:13,984 --> 00:13:15,727 Why do you have a gun on the toilet? 392 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,196 I always carry a gun on the toilet. 393 00:13:17,221 --> 00:13:18,353 Otherwise, I can't make. 394 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:19,793 Well, now I'm very uncomfortable. 395 00:13:19,817 --> 00:13:20,959 Well, tough titties. 396 00:13:20,984 --> 00:13:22,727 I got the right to defend myself. 397 00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,064 It's in the Constitution. 398 00:13:24,089 --> 00:13:25,486 Have you ever read the Constitution? 399 00:13:25,511 --> 00:13:26,566 Yes. 400 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,230 No. 401 00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:33,666 This is wild stuff. 402 00:13:33,698 --> 00:13:37,822 There's a part in here that says that freed slaves 403 00:13:37,847 --> 00:13:40,275 are only three-fifths of a person. 404 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,927 - It's wild. Yeah. - Really? It says that in there? 405 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,727 I can't imagine where you're going with this, Frank. 406 00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:45,127 Well, I was figuring that if we handled 407 00:13:45,151 --> 00:13:47,916 this problem like the Constitution, that would mean 408 00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:51,478 that white landowners would get a full bathroom. 409 00:13:51,503 --> 00:13:53,228 Everybody else gets three-fifths. 410 00:13:53,253 --> 00:13:54,927 How do you use three-fifths of a bathroom? 411 00:13:54,951 --> 00:13:56,003 Piss in the sink. 412 00:13:57,433 --> 00:14:00,251 I beg you to stop using the Constitution 413 00:14:00,276 --> 00:14:01,480 in the way that you're using it. 414 00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:04,089 - Listen. Frank just gave me - Okay. 415 00:14:04,114 --> 00:14:06,727 Reparations. Look, minorities have been treated 416 00:14:06,751 --> 00:14:08,760 like shit in this country for so long, right? 417 00:14:08,784 --> 00:14:11,549 So, I say we give them the good bathroom. 418 00:14:11,574 --> 00:14:15,057 You know? I mean, for years and years, they've been oppressed. 419 00:14:15,082 --> 00:14:16,627 The least we can give them is, you know, 420 00:14:16,651 --> 00:14:18,060 a nice place to piss and shit, right? 421 00:14:18,084 --> 00:14:20,792 And we got to put up a sign so that they know their place. 422 00:14:20,817 --> 00:14:22,760 Now, are-are you proposing that we put a sign 423 00:14:22,784 --> 00:14:25,455 on one of the bathrooms that says "minorities only"? 424 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,759 What does the other sign say? 425 00:14:26,784 --> 00:14:28,727 - "No minorities allowed." - That's crazy. 426 00:14:28,751 --> 00:14:29,993 - Do you hear yourself? -CHARLIE: That's bad. - You hear where 427 00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:30,892 you're running into trouble there, right? 428 00:14:30,917 --> 00:14:31,927 No, no, it's super progressive. 429 00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:33,831 - No... - Yeah, i-it's a bathroom 430 00:14:33,946 --> 00:14:36,964 for women, non-whites, and gays. 431 00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:39,705 I get it. 432 00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:41,314 And I-I'm 100% on board. 433 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:42,659 I agree. I'm with you. 434 00:14:42,684 --> 00:14:43,760 Wait a second, Dee. So now you're okay 435 00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:44,960 with Mac using your bathroom? 436 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,727 Yeah. As long as the majority of the people 437 00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:48,093 aren't taking a shit in my bathroom, sure. 438 00:14:48,117 --> 00:14:50,992 Okay, well, let's just go ahead and vote for it. Ch-Charlie? 439 00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:52,693 W-Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second there. 440 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,760 Before you vote, Charlie, you know, 441 00:14:54,784 --> 00:14:56,160 consider this... There's-there's no shame 442 00:14:56,184 --> 00:14:58,611 in doing what's best for the majority. 443 00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:01,189 I mean, that is what a democracy is, right? 444 00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:02,927 It's trying to please the greatest number 445 00:15:02,951 --> 00:15:03,993 of people in a country. 446 00:15:04,017 --> 00:15:05,793 - White people. - Please don't help. 447 00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,093 Okay? Yeah. What I'm saying is 448 00:15:07,117 --> 00:15:08,960 that you're nevea be able to please everybody. 449 00:15:08,984 --> 00:15:10,727 It's just... There's no way, you know what I mean? 450 00:15:10,751 --> 00:15:11,927 And, of course, everybody wants their own little piece 451 00:15:11,951 --> 00:15:13,760 of paradise, right? I like mine with... 452 00:15:13,785 --> 00:15:15,785 I like mine with lettuce and tomato. 453 00:15:16,308 --> 00:15:18,955 Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes. 454 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,330 But that's just me, you know? 455 00:15:20,355 --> 00:15:21,860 There's a small minority of people out there, 456 00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:23,760 they like their cheeseburgers with pineapple. 457 00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:25,893 - Yeah, I know. Get the hell out of here. -Ew. 458 00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,960 - Gross. -What are you thinking? You know what I mean? 459 00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,727 But there is a minority out there, and that's how 460 00:15:29,751 --> 00:15:31,760 they like it. But are we saying that, for those people's sake, 461 00:15:31,784 --> 00:15:33,463 we got to have every single hamburger store 462 00:15:33,488 --> 00:15:35,557 in the whole country offer pineapples 463 00:15:35,582 --> 00:15:38,080 on their cheeseburgers? I don't think that's right. 464 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,126 We ought to take it off the pizza, too. 465 00:15:40,449 --> 00:15:41,892 Hawaiians are savages. 466 00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:43,127 Okay, you're not helping, all right? 467 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,782 Your racism is making... I hate when you're on my side. 468 00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:48,719 Okay, all good points, you know, strongly made. 469 00:15:48,753 --> 00:15:51,432 I like the hat. I was focused on that most of the time. 470 00:15:51,457 --> 00:15:53,291 But I-I'm kind of leaning towards you. 471 00:15:53,316 --> 00:15:55,027 I don't know why. It might be the shirt. 472 00:15:55,051 --> 00:15:57,853 Look, majority rules may have worked in medieval times, 473 00:15:57,878 --> 00:15:59,667 but we live in a civil society now. 474 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,807 And societies are judged on how 475 00:16:01,832 --> 00:16:03,447 they treat their most vulnerable. 476 00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:06,799 See, we have to give voices to those who have no voice. 477 00:16:06,824 --> 00:16:08,432 - He's right... - Shut up, Dee! I'm talking! 478 00:16:08,457 --> 00:16:10,849 Women are always... Goddamn it. 479 00:16:10,951 --> 00:16:15,119 Look, what I was saying was that we need to protect 480 00:16:15,144 --> 00:16:17,692 those most marginalized, okay? 481 00:16:17,794 --> 00:16:19,692 We need to change our attitudes. 482 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:22,478 We need to change our latitudes. 483 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:25,597 And we need to vote for a minorities-only bathroom. 484 00:16:25,622 --> 00:16:29,627 Okay, also good, strong points there made forcefully. 485 00:16:29,652 --> 00:16:31,659 I was distracted by the shiny shirt. That's cool. 486 00:16:31,684 --> 00:16:33,307 I liked when you snapped at Dee. 487 00:16:33,513 --> 00:16:35,041 It was annoying when she chimed in. 488 00:16:35,066 --> 00:16:37,127 Um, so maybe I'm leaning towards you now. I don't know. 489 00:16:37,151 --> 00:16:40,649 - Okay, well, then that means we're all voting for... ! 490 00:16:40,784 --> 00:16:44,221 Wait, wait, wait! I just looked up the demographics of Philly. 491 00:16:44,246 --> 00:16:48,892 It says here that this city is 54% women 492 00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:51,849 and 68% Christian. 493 00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,869 - Whoa. - Which means that Mac and Dee 494 00:16:54,894 --> 00:16:56,092 are in the majority. 495 00:16:56,117 --> 00:16:58,060 Wait, wait, wait, is that true? 496 00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:01,349 It also says that 52% are black, 497 00:17:01,374 --> 00:17:03,826 which means white men, 498 00:17:03,873 --> 00:17:06,052 like me and Dennis, 499 00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:07,692 are in the minority. 500 00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:09,060 We're minorities, which means that, 501 00:17:09,084 --> 00:17:11,013 by your own argument, 502 00:17:11,038 --> 00:17:13,782 we actually should get the good bathroom. 503 00:17:13,807 --> 00:17:15,412 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I-I'm gay, 504 00:17:15,437 --> 00:17:17,224 so that-that still means that I'm a minority. 505 00:17:17,249 --> 00:17:19,216 Yeah, but are you more gay than you are Catholic? 506 00:17:19,874 --> 00:17:21,123 I don't know. They're at war. 507 00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,693 It's all very confusing. Where... 508 00:17:22,717 --> 00:17:24,757 What does it say about transgenders...? 509 00:17:24,817 --> 00:17:26,388 - Less than one percent. - Yeah. 510 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,245 So what am I? 511 00:17:29,968 --> 00:17:31,365 You are white. 512 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:32,615 Okay, and I'm a...? 513 00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:33,959 Man. 514 00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:36,099 And that would make me...? 515 00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:38,659 - In the minority. - Which means I go towards...? 516 00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,435 Us. Y-You know what? Frank, you explain it to him. 517 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,793 I'm gonna... I'm g... I'll-I'll kill... 518 00:17:41,817 --> 00:17:43,893 - I'll-I'll smash him and... - You get the good bathroom. 519 00:17:43,917 --> 00:17:44,993 - If I come with you? Okay, it was clear... -Yes. 520 00:17:45,017 --> 00:17:46,127 It wasn't totally clear before, 521 00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:47,160 - but I get it now. - It should've been. 522 00:17:47,184 --> 00:17:49,026 Boy. Yeah, okay, so yes. 523 00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:51,260 - So all those in favor of doing the actual right thing -I got it. 524 00:17:51,284 --> 00:17:53,160 And giving the minorities the good bathroom, 525 00:17:53,184 --> 00:17:54,893 - let's go ahead and raise your hand. - Yeah. Hey! 526 00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:56,193 - Okay, all rightt, hey. - Okay. 527 00:17:56,217 --> 00:17:57,927 - Finally, a win for straight white men, right? -Great. 528 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,760 - Now we're talking. Yeah. -Yeah! Finally, something for us. 529 00:17:59,784 --> 00:18:01,060 - We got it. Yeah. Something for the guys. - Something for us. Okay. 530 00:18:01,084 --> 00:18:02,127 - Yeah, let's go to Buffett! - All right, we're gonna... 531 00:18:02,151 --> 00:18:03,927 - Anybody want cheeseburgers? - All right. 532 00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,793 - I'm gonna get the grill ready. - Well, yeah, hey, if I'm headed 533 00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:08,060 - to paradise, I'm gonna want a cheeseburger. -Let's roll! 534 00:18:08,084 --> 00:18:09,927 - What-what are you guys doing? Let's go. -Let's go. 535 00:18:10,084 --> 00:18:11,437 We're not going. 536 00:18:11,462 --> 00:18:12,727 What do you mean you're not going? What? 537 00:18:12,774 --> 00:18:13,849 You used Buffett's words 538 00:18:13,874 --> 00:18:15,329 to promote discrimination, dude. 539 00:18:15,354 --> 00:18:16,209 It's not cool. 540 00:18:16,234 --> 00:18:17,860 No, but you guys have to go. I mean, 541 00:18:17,884 --> 00:18:20,443 you're the only two other real Parrotheads of the bunch. 542 00:18:20,468 --> 00:18:22,935 I mean, Frank's just going 'cause the chicks are wild. 543 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:23,951 You know what I mean? 544 00:18:23,976 --> 00:18:25,793 - And, Charlie, he doesn't know what's going on. -I know. 545 00:18:25,817 --> 00:18:27,627 - Yes, I do. -He has no... No. What are the songs? 546 00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:29,506 -What's another Buffett song? # 547 00:18:29,531 --> 00:18:30,693 - That's Beach Boys. - It is. 548 00:18:30,717 --> 00:18:31,927 - I don't know the songs. - Yeah. That's the Beach Boys. 549 00:18:31,951 --> 00:18:33,993 Well, there's no sense in going to Buffett 550 00:18:34,017 --> 00:18:35,860 if we're not... We're not all gonna go. 551 00:18:35,884 --> 00:18:37,187 Then we're not going to Buffett. 552 00:18:53,226 --> 00:18:54,927 Please don't, Charlie. It's too... it-it... 553 00:18:54,951 --> 00:18:56,793 - It hurts too much. - I thought you... Come on, man. 554 00:18:56,817 --> 00:18:57,960 I thought you said it wasn't Buffett. 555 00:18:57,984 --> 00:18:59,882 Yeah, but i-it's close enough. 556 00:18:59,907 --> 00:19:01,027 You guys ever listened to the lyrics to that song? 557 00:19:01,051 --> 00:19:02,621 - It's super dark. - Is it? 558 00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:03,646 Yeah, it's about 559 00:19:03,671 --> 00:19:04,827 a guy trying to cheat on his wife. 560 00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:06,727 Don't tell me that, man. It's, like, such a happy song. 561 00:19:06,751 --> 00:19:08,615 You know? Whn't like piņa coladas? 562 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,857 I don't. You know, they're not my first choice. 563 00:19:11,075 --> 00:19:12,920 Just as a woman on the go, I got to be able 564 00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:15,021 to really put 'em back, and if you drink those too fast, 565 00:19:15,046 --> 00:19:16,760 - you'll get that-that frozen headache. - 566 00:19:16,784 --> 00:19:18,660 As a straight man, I actually love piņa coladas, 567 00:19:18,684 --> 00:19:20,631 but I don't like getting caught in the rain. 568 00:19:20,656 --> 00:19:22,582 It flattens my hair. Yeah. 569 00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:24,507 And you guys know how great I look in leather. 570 00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:26,793 - As a gay man, I do. -And that's what's so annoying about you, Mac. 571 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,760 - That's not really a gay thing. That's just a you thing. -It's so annoying. 572 00:19:28,784 --> 00:19:31,984 What about that bullshit about making love until midnight? 573 00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:33,263 I mean, as a senior citizen, 574 00:19:33,288 --> 00:19:35,662 I can't get it up past 6:00, 6:30, tops. 575 00:19:35,687 --> 00:19:36,584 - ... -Really? -Geez. I got that 576 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,027 - to look forward to? - Really. 577 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,249 You know, as a straight man who poops transgender... 578 00:19:40,274 --> 00:19:42,793 - You got to just let that go. - I'll probably stop doing that. 579 00:19:42,817 --> 00:19:43,960 - It's not a thing. -It's time to stop doing that. - I guess, you know, 580 00:19:43,984 --> 00:19:45,592 guys, when it comes down to it, 581 00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:47,366 we all identify very differently out here. 582 00:19:47,742 --> 00:19:49,186 You know? But in there... 583 00:19:49,984 --> 00:19:51,513 in there, we're not so different. 584 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,052 In there, we're all the same. 585 00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,992 In there, we're all just disgusting, vulnerable, ashamed. 586 00:19:56,017 --> 00:19:59,162 Like a bunch of filthy animals dumping in a shithouse. 587 00:19:59,187 --> 00:20:02,412 It's the one common thing amongst a-a king and a pauper. 588 00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:04,027 - Right. -You know? We all got to take a shit. 589 00:20:04,051 --> 00:20:05,127 Yeah, right. Why are we trying to make everyone 590 00:20:05,151 --> 00:20:06,860 feel comfortable in there? When the truth is 591 00:20:06,884 --> 00:20:08,893 no one's ever gonna feel comfortable shitting next 592 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,727 - to another human being. It's just awkward. - Well, if we're never gonna get 593 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,027 anybody to feel good about shitting together, 594 00:20:12,051 --> 00:20:13,859 how are we gonna solve problem? 595 00:20:13,884 --> 00:20:15,760 Hold on a second. Hold on. Listen. 596 00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:18,715 If we're all the same in there... 597 00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:22,793 Then why don't we just focus on treating other people 598 00:20:22,827 --> 00:20:25,507 the way that we want to be treated? 599 00:20:28,265 --> 00:20:29,468 Dee... 600 00:20:30,515 --> 00:20:31,926 we were just talking, 601 00:20:31,951 --> 00:20:33,793 - and you just barged right in. - Yeah, shut the fuck up. 602 00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:35,027 - Shut the fuck up. -Like, interrupting and talking nonsense. 603 00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:36,793 - That was, like, so pretentious. - Yeah. 604 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:38,093 - Something very pretentious about it. - We were talking. 605 00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:40,546 - I really feel like we're right in the... - All right. Okay. 606 00:20:40,571 --> 00:20:43,374 Hey, you know what, guys? I think I may have just come up 607 00:20:43,399 --> 00:20:45,406 with a solution for our bathroom problem. 608 00:20:51,441 --> 00:20:53,382 - Yeah, that'll do it. - There we go. 609 00:20:53,406 --> 00:20:54,597 _ 610 00:20:54,645 --> 00:20:57,675 Guys, if we leave right now, we can still make the concert. 611 00:20:57,847 --> 00:20:59,268 - Whoo...! -Let's do it. - Buffett! 612 00:20:59,293 --> 00:21:00,441 Ooh, let's go. 613 00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:12,901 _ 614 00:21:12,926 --> 00:21:19,938 credits