1 00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:15,089 Evening. What can I get you? 2 00:00:15,175 --> 00:00:17,124 Oh, just the usual. 3 00:00:18,806 --> 00:00:20,672 Another long haul tonight? 4 00:00:20,697 --> 00:00:22,764 Oh, roger that, little honey. 5 00:00:22,816 --> 00:00:26,267 You know, talking on the CB, 6 00:00:26,336 --> 00:00:30,039 you know, pulling the little string to beep the horn. 7 00:00:30,171 --> 00:00:32,062 You know, uh, you've been coming in here 8 00:00:32,087 --> 00:00:34,112 every night since I started here, 9 00:00:34,113 --> 00:00:35,756 so I just wanted to let you know 10 00:00:35,757 --> 00:00:38,301 that tonight is my last night. 11 00:00:38,302 --> 00:00:40,865 Really? Uh, where you going? 12 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:44,102 Back to my old job. This was just temporary. 13 00:00:44,232 --> 00:00:45,431 A few months ago, 14 00:00:45,456 --> 00:00:47,181 a coworker and I were suspended for... 15 00:00:47,182 --> 00:00:49,341 I don't need to hear the details! 16 00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:50,384 Thank you. 17 00:00:51,464 --> 00:00:53,325 I've got this manager, 18 00:00:54,092 --> 00:00:55,135 great guy. 19 00:00:55,547 --> 00:00:56,468 Aw. 20 00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:59,072 I bet he misses you. 21 00:01:00,304 --> 00:01:01,920 I bet he would have done anything 22 00:01:01,945 --> 00:01:03,805 to see you while you were gone. 23 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:06,981 He was allowed to see me if he wanted. 24 00:01:07,111 --> 00:01:10,710 Yeah... better safe than sorry. 25 00:01:10,776 --> 00:01:12,421 You know, um... 26 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:16,341 Well, I better get back to the big rig. 27 00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:18,536 You know, the road is calling. 28 00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:21,929 Thanks for the company. 29 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,870 Yep, and, um... 30 00:01:24,895 --> 00:01:28,797 thank you for always tipping 20 bucks 31 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,009 on a $2 coffee that you never drink. 32 00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:34,281 Yeah... ten-four, good buddy. 33 00:01:35,351 --> 00:01:38,812 Hope I get to see you around sometime. 34 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,231 Who knows? 35 00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:43,242 Might be sooner than you think. 36 00:01:43,515 --> 00:01:48,389 credits 37 00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:51,483 Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers... 38 00:01:51,484 --> 00:01:52,959 it's "back to school" time, 39 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,253 so check out our discounts on notebooks, 40 00:01:55,254 --> 00:01:57,441 pencils, art supplies, rulers, 41 00:01:57,442 --> 00:02:00,467 dictionaries, weekly planners, and calculators. 42 00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:03,546 Or you guys can just use your phones for all that stuff. 43 00:02:04,826 --> 00:02:07,084 At least Black Friday's only a day. 44 00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:09,386 This... this is two weeks 45 00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:11,495 of watching ugly kids try on pants. 46 00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,832 And I cannot wait for all the crap 47 00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,023 we're gonna get for our sex tape. 48 00:02:16,273 --> 00:02:18,351 Was it a sex tape? 49 00:02:18,379 --> 00:02:20,844 'Cause it wasn't on tape. 50 00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:23,315 It was more like a sex stream. 51 00:02:23,316 --> 00:02:25,128 Oh no, sex stream is something else. 52 00:02:25,129 --> 00:02:26,778 That involves a stepladder and a tarp. 53 00:02:26,891 --> 00:02:28,190 Everyone's gonna be like, 54 00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,542 "Oh, better keep these two out of the photo lab." 55 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,061 Or like, "Uh, why aren't you guys together now?" 56 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,652 Is that supposed to be me? 57 00:02:34,732 --> 00:02:36,031 What? No. 58 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,506 Oh, okay. 59 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,758 Why aren't you guys together now? 60 00:02:40,887 --> 00:02:43,233 Like, if some dummy asks that question... 61 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,928 what would you say to her? 62 00:02:44,953 --> 00:02:46,498 I don't know... for starters, 63 00:02:46,523 --> 00:02:48,629 the fact that I'm extremely pregnant 64 00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:50,596 with my ex-husband's child is not a great time 65 00:02:50,621 --> 00:02:52,074 to start a new relationship. 66 00:02:52,099 --> 00:02:53,899 I'm not letting my pregnancy slow me down. 67 00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:56,421 I'm banging my way through my whole indoor-soccer team... 68 00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:57,847 and the refs. 69 00:02:57,872 --> 00:02:59,570 If you do decide to have sex again, 70 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,567 - just check for cameras. - We're not... 71 00:03:01,601 --> 00:03:03,529 Or have sex on a green sheet. 72 00:03:03,554 --> 00:03:05,651 That way, you can superimpose yourself 73 00:03:05,676 --> 00:03:09,161 doing it on a magic carpet or in outer space. 74 00:03:09,186 --> 00:03:10,854 Bo did that for our anniversary. 75 00:03:10,879 --> 00:03:12,445 The bed of my truck is always available. 76 00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:14,335 I'm happy to drive around the whole time. 77 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,288 Less likely somebody will film you. 78 00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:19,858 These are all excellent ideas, thank you. 79 00:03:21,253 --> 00:03:23,262 So Amy and Jonah are back. 80 00:03:23,263 --> 00:03:25,903 That's got to be a real kick in your crotch. 81 00:03:25,928 --> 00:03:27,328 No, it's fine. 82 00:03:27,421 --> 00:03:30,045 I mean, I thought that it would feel weird 83 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:31,357 to see Jonah again, 84 00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:33,632 but I actually think that I'm over it. 85 00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:35,290 You're over it. 86 00:03:36,187 --> 00:03:37,651 That's boring. 87 00:03:38,823 --> 00:03:39,791 Uh... 88 00:03:40,925 --> 00:03:43,125 thanks for checking in, though! 89 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,271 Okay. So, Sara, I need you to keep cycling out the bins. 90 00:03:53,296 --> 00:03:55,443 Mateo, if you could move salvage off the floor, 91 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,990 you can just stick it in the... 92 00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,350 in the p-photo lab. 93 00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:00,992 Photo lab. Okay, you got it. 94 00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,085 Okay. Um... 95 00:04:06,517 --> 00:04:08,851 Carol and Justine, I'm moving you to school supplies. 96 00:04:08,886 --> 00:04:10,623 We need to keep everything organized this year, 97 00:04:10,648 --> 00:04:12,537 or we're gonna get screwed. 98 00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:15,419 Okay. Sorry, that was a poor choice of words. 99 00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:18,085 - School supplies! Got it. - Sure thing, Amy. 100 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,229 Okay... 101 00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:23,398 Um... 102 00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:26,826 let's just make sure that everything is restocked at all times. 103 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:30,367 We... we don't want to get caught with our pants down. 104 00:04:30,411 --> 00:04:31,323 - Mm. - Mm. 105 00:04:33,137 --> 00:04:34,042 Huh. 106 00:04:34,804 --> 00:04:35,867 What's so funny? 107 00:04:35,892 --> 00:04:37,718 No, nothing's funny. Nothing's funny. 108 00:04:37,719 --> 00:04:40,030 This is going so much better than I thought. 109 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:42,765 You're literally just reading words off a clipboard. 110 00:04:43,682 --> 00:04:46,171 Oh, hey, no, no, no, no, no. 111 00:04:46,196 --> 00:04:47,603 Have you met J-Bone? 112 00:04:47,604 --> 00:04:50,132 Oh, we're calling you J-Bone now? 113 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,153 This makes me happy. 114 00:04:51,178 --> 00:04:54,526 - This guy shreds ass. - Mm-hmm. 115 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,750 You want to learn how to shred ass, you go see J-Bone. 116 00:04:56,751 --> 00:05:00,375 I-I'm not... there's... better people. 117 00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:02,439 Hey! So give us the scoop, J-Bone. 118 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,509 Sex with Amy, was it awesome? 119 00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:05,958 You know, I... 120 00:05:05,983 --> 00:05:07,549 we don't really need to talk about this. 121 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:08,950 Why? 'Cause the sex sucked? 122 00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:10,779 It did kind of look like it sucked. 123 00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:12,181 No, it didn't suck. It... 124 00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:14,689 Yeah! I knew it! I knew it didn't suck! 125 00:05:14,992 --> 00:05:17,669 Oh, yeah! Yeah, baby! 126 00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,154 - You get it, girl. - Yeah! In and out! 127 00:05:19,179 --> 00:05:20,996 Your body is a wonderland! 128 00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:23,064 You're enjoying this sex, aren't you? 129 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,676 Mateo! 130 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,646 Ugh. He's back. 131 00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:28,431 Oh, he's such a thirsty bitch. 132 00:05:28,456 --> 00:05:30,480 - I know... - Hey, there he is! 133 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,757 At first, I was like, "Is that Mateo or the Rock?" 134 00:05:32,782 --> 00:05:33,810 Hi, Jeff. 135 00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:36,096 What brings you to the store... again? 136 00:05:36,097 --> 00:05:37,886 Yeah, for someone who works at corporate, 137 00:05:37,911 --> 00:05:39,107 you're here a lot. 138 00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:41,253 Well, I'm not gonna forget about my peeps 139 00:05:41,278 --> 00:05:42,707 just 'cause I got promoted. 140 00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:44,781 I mean, I can still stop by now and then. 141 00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:47,611 Isn't it, like, a five-hour drive from Chicago? 142 00:05:47,636 --> 00:05:49,670 Not on a corporate jet. 143 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,568 Which I didn't take this time, 144 00:05:52,593 --> 00:05:54,493 but I have seen the corporate jet. 145 00:05:54,518 --> 00:05:56,234 Really cool wings. 146 00:05:56,669 --> 00:05:59,514 Anyway, uh, if you guys ever wanted to come visit me, 147 00:05:59,539 --> 00:06:01,238 I'd love to show you around Chi-Town. 148 00:06:01,263 --> 00:06:03,190 They've got some great museums, I think, 149 00:06:03,215 --> 00:06:05,009 and, you know, if it's a fun night, 150 00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:06,221 I've got a big place, you could stay over... 151 00:06:06,222 --> 00:06:08,139 Jeff, I've moved on. 152 00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:10,448 Okay, I've moved on, too. 153 00:06:10,473 --> 00:06:13,187 God, get over yourself. 154 00:06:13,212 --> 00:06:14,721 I am doing very well. 155 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,988 So, anyways, let me give you guys my business card. 156 00:06:18,013 --> 00:06:20,101 Just give me a call for... any reason is fine, of course. 157 00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:22,026 I'm always here to help. 158 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:25,633 Are you not gonna... 159 00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,309 Only 'cause if... 160 00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:29,098 I get a finite amount, and they eventually... 161 00:06:29,099 --> 00:06:30,055 It starts to come out of my paycheck. 162 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,835 You know, I'm gonna go ahead and take it back now. Okay. 163 00:06:33,363 --> 00:06:37,109 Well, well, look at you, back at it, huh? 164 00:06:37,892 --> 00:06:41,445 God, no one can stack things in a pile like my gal Amy. 165 00:06:41,470 --> 00:06:43,078 You know, I thought it was going to be 166 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:46,296 nonstop people talking about the... incident. 167 00:06:46,321 --> 00:06:48,383 But no one's even mentioning it. 168 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,219 Of course not. 169 00:06:50,288 --> 00:06:52,165 There's no need for people to bring up something 170 00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:53,974 that you're already embarrassed about. 171 00:06:53,975 --> 00:06:55,424 Yeah, but when we found out 172 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,065 Gene was having sex on his lunch break, 173 00:06:57,090 --> 00:06:59,094 people called him Sex-Ma-Gene for a year. 174 00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:01,057 I mean, it barely made sense, but it stuck. 175 00:07:01,058 --> 00:07:03,376 Yeah. I know, but come on, that's different, 176 00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:06,281 Sex-Ma-Gene's a guy. It's less embarrassing for him. 177 00:07:07,507 --> 00:07:09,265 Um... that's... that's sexist. 178 00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:13,281 No. No. No, no, no, I-I did not mean that 179 00:07:13,306 --> 00:07:14,987 in a sexist way. 180 00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,756 What you're saying is that 181 00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:19,826 no one is talking to me about the whole sex thing 182 00:07:19,851 --> 00:07:22,119 because they think, as a woman, 183 00:07:22,144 --> 00:07:24,511 I must be filled with shame about it. 184 00:07:25,232 --> 00:07:26,328 Maybe... 185 00:07:27,191 --> 00:07:28,462 or maybe I'm wrong! 186 00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:30,531 I don't know. I mean, things are changing. 187 00:07:31,086 --> 00:07:33,982 I haven't really caught up with this whole MeToo thing. 188 00:07:34,007 --> 00:07:36,803 All I know is that one day Charlie Rose was there, 189 00:07:36,828 --> 00:07:39,201 and the next day he wasn't. 190 00:07:42,519 --> 00:07:44,025 - Hey. - Hey. 191 00:07:44,032 --> 00:07:45,796 Are people talking to you about the sex tape? 192 00:07:45,797 --> 00:07:47,390 Oh, my God, it's nonstop. 193 00:07:47,475 --> 00:07:49,358 No one has said anything to me. 194 00:07:49,589 --> 00:07:51,515 Oh. That's cool. 195 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,226 No. It sucks. 196 00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:55,317 But I thought you don't want people to talk about it. 197 00:07:55,318 --> 00:07:56,265 I don't. 198 00:07:56,765 --> 00:07:59,345 - And people aren't talking about it. - Right... 199 00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:01,848 So... you win? 200 00:08:02,017 --> 00:08:03,850 No! It's messed up. 201 00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,954 Why should I be ashamed of having sex with you? 202 00:08:05,955 --> 00:08:07,303 - You shouldn't. - I know! 203 00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,289 - You should be proud! - Yes! 204 00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:12,277 No! No. Not because of this... 205 00:08:12,302 --> 00:08:14,111 because it's a double standard. 206 00:08:14,136 --> 00:08:17,053 So, for men, sex is, like, an accomplishment. 207 00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:19,804 And for women, it's that I got taken advantage of? 208 00:08:19,829 --> 00:08:22,162 Trust me, you do not want to have the day that I'm having. 209 00:08:22,248 --> 00:08:25,966 They... they keep, like, like, thrusting their pelvises 210 00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:27,976 and calling me J-Bone. 211 00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:31,358 You have a nickname? I didn't get a nickname. 212 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,774 I feel like you're missing the point. 213 00:08:32,775 --> 00:08:36,609 If you're J-Bone, then I want to be A... hole. 214 00:08:38,670 --> 00:08:39,679 You... you sure? 215 00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,684 Obviously not. 216 00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:45,516 See you around, A-hole. 217 00:08:45,541 --> 00:08:46,608 Shut up! 218 00:08:47,106 --> 00:08:49,583 I mean, it's like he's mad at me for no reason at all. 219 00:08:49,608 --> 00:08:51,135 He's not mad at you for no reason. 220 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,773 He's mad at you because you sold out Myrtle 221 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:54,062 for a corporate job. 222 00:08:54,094 --> 00:08:55,609 But... Well... 223 00:08:55,998 --> 00:08:57,406 You guys don't hate me. 224 00:08:57,497 --> 00:08:59,757 Oh, yeah, we do. We all hate you. 225 00:08:59,782 --> 00:09:00,996 Okay, fine. 226 00:09:00,997 --> 00:09:03,670 Um, what can I do to make it up to you guys? 227 00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:05,266 Give Myrtle her job back. 228 00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,935 I don't have the power to do that. 229 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,344 I'm not even allowed to spend more than $12 on lunch without authorization. 230 00:09:10,904 --> 00:09:12,896 There's got to be something I can do 231 00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:15,378 to make you guys love me the way you used to. 232 00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:17,499 Um, we never loved you, so... 233 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:21,625 Wait! Why... why wouldn't... why not? 234 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,367 We don't know what you're talking about. 235 00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:25,291 Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. 236 00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,382 Okay, I can't get you Myrtle, 237 00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:29,330 but I can get you something better. 238 00:09:29,331 --> 00:09:31,298 Just get ready, okay? 239 00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:35,343 For the surprise! 240 00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:38,242 This afternoon! 241 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,138 I saw some kids getting high on the markers. 242 00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:46,513 - Mm-hmm. - Is it my job to stop them? 243 00:09:46,514 --> 00:09:48,812 Nope, just recap the markers when they're done. 244 00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:51,085 Hey guys! Excuse me. 245 00:09:51,086 --> 00:09:53,516 Um, could we just gather around 246 00:09:53,518 --> 00:09:55,007 for a quick sec? 247 00:09:55,268 --> 00:10:00,264 Um... I know that everyone is walking on eggshells around me. 248 00:10:00,648 --> 00:10:02,757 And I just want you to know, 249 00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:07,166 that I am not embarrassed that I had sex. 250 00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,522 Oh, Amy, sure you're not, sweetie. 251 00:10:09,523 --> 00:10:11,808 - You don't have to say that. - No, I mean it! 252 00:10:12,335 --> 00:10:14,796 Guess what, people... I have sex. 253 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,759 And I like having sex. 254 00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:20,690 There's nothing wrong with someone liking and having sex. 255 00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:22,637 Yeah! Even a woman, believe it or not! 256 00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:24,828 Take notes, young man, the future is female. 257 00:10:24,829 --> 00:10:25,953 And I get it! 258 00:10:26,465 --> 00:10:28,084 Okay! Well, that's it. 259 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,095 That's all I wanted to say, so... 260 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,978 I'm gonna go back to work now, 261 00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:35,658 and I will be thinking about sex, if I want to. 262 00:10:36,323 --> 00:10:39,882 Got sex on my mind, and my mind on my sex! 263 00:10:40,796 --> 00:10:42,508 Aren't you a little child? 264 00:10:43,218 --> 00:10:45,928 _ 265 00:10:45,953 --> 00:10:50,383 _ 266 00:10:50,408 --> 00:10:52,257 It doesn't matter what the surprise is, okay? 267 00:10:52,258 --> 00:10:54,643 I'm not getting back together with him. It's over. 268 00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:56,662 I bet Jeff's getting us a taco truck. 269 00:10:56,663 --> 00:10:59,231 Ooh, or maybe an ice cream truck. 270 00:10:59,232 --> 00:11:01,355 Ooh, I hope it's a pizza truck. 271 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,367 Sorry, guys, kind of a pizza freak. 272 00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:05,909 Everyone loves pizza, so it's not a personality trait. 273 00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:08,614 Here's a crazy idea... what if it's not a food truck? 274 00:11:08,615 --> 00:11:11,562 Ooh, maybe he's gonna give us each, like, $50. 275 00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:13,957 Maybe he's planning on murdering Mateo. 276 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,083 Think about it, big surprise, 277 00:11:16,084 --> 00:11:17,672 nobody's gonna see it coming. 278 00:11:17,673 --> 00:11:20,394 I mean, If anybody was gonna snap, it'd be that guy. 279 00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:22,509 Okay, so it's either a snack, 280 00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:25,195 an arbitrary amount of money, or Mateo dies. 281 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,531 I guess it's got to be one of those three things. 282 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,993 - Mm. - It's got to be. 283 00:11:29,018 --> 00:11:30,882 Shredder! 284 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,312 All right, okay. 285 00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:34,579 Hey, man, this guy shreds ass! 286 00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:35,609 Sorry, I... 287 00:11:35,634 --> 00:11:37,069 Guys, stop, all right? 288 00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:38,749 You know what? It's... it's demeaning. 289 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:42,442 You guys are acting like sex was something I did to Amy. 290 00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:43,606 You know, like I conquered her. 291 00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:45,208 - Oh! - Yeah, you did! 292 00:11:45,209 --> 00:11:47,416 All hail J-Bone, the conqueror! 293 00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,807 I feel like you're grasping on to the wrong words here. 294 00:11:49,808 --> 00:11:52,699 Uh, Amy was an equal participant, okay? 295 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,960 So all also hail Amy, 296 00:11:54,985 --> 00:11:57,800 the mutual intercourse partner! 297 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,838 - Uh... - We'll handle the nicknames. 298 00:11:59,839 --> 00:12:01,700 You just keep shredding, shredder. 299 00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:02,671 Yeah. 300 00:12:03,627 --> 00:12:06,570 Hey, is your favorite movie "Waking Shred Devine"? 301 00:12:06,864 --> 00:12:08,413 That's what she shred. 302 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,349 Excuse me, Amy? 303 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:16,909 - Yeah? - I just wanted to say... 304 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:20,163 I totally get what you were saying before about liking sex. 305 00:12:20,585 --> 00:12:22,120 I think that's really cool. 306 00:12:23,554 --> 00:12:25,343 Okay. Thank you. 307 00:12:26,608 --> 00:12:27,562 So... 308 00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:30,038 do you want to, like, do it? 309 00:12:31,998 --> 00:12:33,265 Excuse me? 310 00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,242 I have a condom. 311 00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:36,941 Oh, my God! No! No! 312 00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:39,226 But you said you like sex. 313 00:12:39,553 --> 00:12:40,955 Not with you. 314 00:12:42,425 --> 00:12:44,429 No, no. No. Don't... 315 00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:47,764 Um, Noam, don't cry. 316 00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:49,504 I'm not crying. 317 00:12:51,132 --> 00:12:52,749 I don't even like you! 318 00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:57,607 Noam, it's okay, come out! 319 00:12:57,632 --> 00:12:59,935 No. Can someone call my mom 320 00:12:59,936 --> 00:13:01,521 or my stepdad's work number? 321 00:13:01,546 --> 00:13:02,936 Your mom's at the dentist, 322 00:13:02,971 --> 00:13:05,021 and your stepdad said that he doesn't care. 323 00:13:05,046 --> 00:13:06,116 Okay. 324 00:13:06,141 --> 00:13:08,775 Noam? Sweetie? 325 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,205 You're gonna come out of that tent, okay, hon? 326 00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:14,781 Now, whether you're conscious or unconscious is up to you. 327 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,211 Are you really gonna throw a bug bomb in there? 328 00:13:17,236 --> 00:13:18,785 No! 329 00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:20,153 Yeah, I am. 330 00:13:20,178 --> 00:13:21,288 What happened? 331 00:13:21,323 --> 00:13:22,789 Oh, Noam assaulted Amy, 332 00:13:22,824 --> 00:13:24,291 and now he won't come out of the tent. 333 00:13:24,326 --> 00:13:25,292 - What? - No... 334 00:13:25,327 --> 00:13:26,810 it was not an assault, 335 00:13:26,835 --> 00:13:28,939 it was a... misunderstanding. 336 00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:30,130 Exactly! 337 00:13:30,165 --> 00:13:32,524 And misunderstandings can't be assault. 338 00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:34,061 Well... they can. 339 00:13:34,086 --> 00:13:36,280 Yes, they can, and they usually are. 340 00:13:36,305 --> 00:13:38,575 Attention, employees... make your way to the break room 341 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,099 for a harassment meeting. 342 00:13:40,124 --> 00:13:41,641 Shoppers, go about your business. 343 00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:42,687 This is a private matter 344 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:45,812 concerning our floor manager, Amy, and a 14-year-old boy. 345 00:13:45,847 --> 00:13:48,158 Dina, please, can we just not? 346 00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:49,983 I-I was hoping to get through my first day 347 00:13:50,018 --> 00:13:51,332 without a harassment meeting. 348 00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,320 Oh, you should have started up last Friday. 349 00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:55,832 We didn't need any harassment meetings last Friday. 350 00:13:55,857 --> 00:13:57,406 Perfect swish. 351 00:13:57,812 --> 00:14:00,349 Hey, guys, he's not coming out. 352 00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:03,467 Well, then we can't do this meeting. Bummer. 353 00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:06,265 I got this. Giuseppe! Alex! 354 00:14:06,523 --> 00:14:09,385 Giuseppe W.! Everybody grab a corner. 355 00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:10,928 We're taking this thing to the break room. 356 00:14:10,953 --> 00:14:12,956 Hey, uh, Glenn, should we all 357 00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:14,841 really be leaving the floor during back to school? 358 00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:16,343 I mean, come on, that's like... 359 00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,178 that's like playing the Super Bowl with only... 360 00:14:18,213 --> 00:14:19,990 uh, with fewer players 361 00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:21,992 than a football team would normally have. 362 00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:23,350 Good point. 363 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,873 Okay, we'll leave a skeleton crew. 364 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:28,515 Kelly! You're in charge. 365 00:14:29,158 --> 00:14:30,890 Of... the store? 366 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:39,951 We'll make this quick. 367 00:14:39,976 --> 00:14:41,342 There was an incident 368 00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:44,263 relating to a sexual proposition 369 00:14:44,288 --> 00:14:46,800 between Amy and another employee. 370 00:14:46,825 --> 00:14:48,208 No need to name names. 371 00:14:48,663 --> 00:14:50,053 It was Noam. 372 00:14:50,174 --> 00:14:51,474 - Who? - Noam. 373 00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,057 - Oh. Hi, Noam. - Hi. 374 00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:56,049 Do you want me to get the harassment video? 375 00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:58,051 Oh, no, the old videos don't apply anymore. 376 00:14:58,086 --> 00:15:01,471 We are living in a brave, new, MeToo, Time's Up, 377 00:15:01,496 --> 00:15:03,607 "This Is Us" kind of world. 378 00:15:03,632 --> 00:15:05,318 There are no rules anymore. 379 00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:07,487 But also, there's nothing but rules. 380 00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:09,873 Wait. So Amy banged Noam, too? 381 00:15:09,898 --> 00:15:11,992 No! God, no, nothing happened. 382 00:15:12,017 --> 00:15:14,701 Good, 'cause he's a child. He can't consent. 383 00:15:14,726 --> 00:15:16,967 They say consent is irrelevant. 384 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,826 I think you mean "intent is irrelevant." 385 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,176 Consent is pretty much the whole point. 386 00:15:21,177 --> 00:15:24,303 Also, she's a supervisor, so double illegal. 387 00:15:24,328 --> 00:15:25,505 So was it illegal 388 00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:27,381 when Amy forced Jonah to have sex with her? 389 00:15:27,406 --> 00:15:29,717 Nobody forced me to have sex with them. 390 00:15:29,742 --> 00:15:31,751 But you might have felt like you couldn't say no 391 00:15:31,787 --> 00:15:33,430 because Amy was in the power position. 392 00:15:33,455 --> 00:15:35,568 Nuh-uh, Jonah was on top. 393 00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:37,067 Does it matter who's on top? 394 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,236 - It really doesn't. - It really does. 395 00:15:39,261 --> 00:15:42,960 I like reverse cowgirl because there's no eye contact. 396 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:46,085 Cool info. 397 00:15:46,535 --> 00:15:50,109 Does anybody know what a "DCPI" is? 398 00:15:50,546 --> 00:15:54,284 Or "Quadrant 12"? Where is Quadrant 12? 399 00:15:54,535 --> 00:15:55,852 Oh, Dan! 400 00:15:56,311 --> 00:15:58,445 Dan, are you going to Quadrant 12? 401 00:15:59,078 --> 00:16:00,090 Dan! 402 00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:02,420 Is this a MeToo situation? 403 00:16:02,445 --> 00:16:04,545 Because who MeToo'd who? 404 00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:07,357 I mean, Jonah's the man, but Amy's the one in charge. 405 00:16:07,382 --> 00:16:10,050 A woman can't take advantage of a man. 406 00:16:10,075 --> 00:16:12,631 Hey! Amy can force an underling to have sex 407 00:16:12,656 --> 00:16:14,310 just as easily as a man! 408 00:16:14,335 --> 00:16:15,638 - Right! - What? 409 00:16:15,663 --> 00:16:18,529 I mean, I didn't, and I wouldn't, but I could. 410 00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:20,917 - And she will. - Yeah, that was not my point. 411 00:16:20,942 --> 00:16:22,302 Hey, I'm trying really hard to defend you, 412 00:16:22,337 --> 00:16:23,795 but you're making it pretty tough. 413 00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:25,115 This isn't harassment. 414 00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,284 Jonah and Amy are meant for each other. 415 00:16:27,309 --> 00:16:28,428 Then why aren't they together? 416 00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:29,653 I know, right? 417 00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:31,873 Maybe the sex was bad. It looked bad. 418 00:16:31,898 --> 00:16:33,123 Guys, we shouldn't be talking 419 00:16:33,148 --> 00:16:34,357 about this in front of Amy. 420 00:16:34,382 --> 00:16:35,899 No! That is... 421 00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:38,078 Okay, you guys want to talk about what happened? 422 00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,152 Let's talk about it. 423 00:16:39,187 --> 00:16:40,487 What do you want to know? 424 00:16:40,522 --> 00:16:41,988 Don't fall for it. It's a trick. 425 00:16:42,023 --> 00:16:43,662 No, no, no. I'm serious! 426 00:16:43,687 --> 00:16:46,985 Let's just get it all out there once and for all, 427 00:16:46,986 --> 00:16:49,864 and then we never have to talk about it ever again. 428 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,406 Bring it on! 429 00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,145 Are you still in love with each other? 430 00:16:55,170 --> 00:16:57,097 What a stupid waste of a first question. 431 00:16:57,122 --> 00:16:59,607 Who cares? Did you have an orgasm? 432 00:16:59,632 --> 00:17:01,998 - Yeah, boy! - Guys, come on! 433 00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:05,178 No, it's fine, I don't want there to be any unanswered questions. 434 00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:07,357 Technically, I did not have an orgasm. 435 00:17:07,382 --> 00:17:09,299 But it still felt good. Next question. 436 00:17:09,384 --> 00:17:11,885 Did Jonah have an orgasm? 437 00:17:16,892 --> 00:17:18,459 Yes, yes, I did. 438 00:17:18,484 --> 00:17:20,504 "Noice"! Yeah! 439 00:17:20,529 --> 00:17:23,062 No! I am not high-fiving one man 440 00:17:23,087 --> 00:17:24,864 over another man's orgasm. 441 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,033 Stop using me as a human shield! 442 00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:29,202 Cease fire! Cease fire! 443 00:17:29,237 --> 00:17:31,146 Around the 14-minute mark in the video, 444 00:17:31,171 --> 00:17:33,678 Jonah appeared to whisper something to you. What did he say? 445 00:17:33,703 --> 00:17:35,277 Oh, I think it was something about 446 00:17:35,278 --> 00:17:37,687 the cord from the scanner was chafing his thigh. 447 00:17:37,712 --> 00:17:39,139 - I knew it. - Oh, really? 448 00:17:39,615 --> 00:17:40,614 Wow. 449 00:17:40,639 --> 00:17:42,058 Now, as a pregnant woman, 450 00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:44,217 was it weird having two people inside of you at once? 451 00:17:44,252 --> 00:17:45,562 No, not really. 452 00:17:45,587 --> 00:17:47,387 Follow up on Mateo's question... 453 00:17:47,422 --> 00:17:51,141 Jonah, was it weird being one of two people inside Amy? 454 00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:52,369 I didn't think about it. 455 00:17:52,394 --> 00:17:53,593 Following up on Cheyenne, 456 00:17:53,618 --> 00:17:55,478 is it weird thinking about it now? 457 00:17:55,564 --> 00:17:56,740 It's getting a little weird, yeah. 458 00:17:56,765 --> 00:17:58,419 Okay, keep 'em coming, people! 459 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,210 We'll be here as long as it takes. 460 00:18:00,235 --> 00:18:01,568 For my next question, 461 00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:04,256 I'm gonna need a church candle and a bagel. 462 00:18:07,072 --> 00:18:09,782 For the first part, I would say I don't really believe in soul mates, 463 00:18:09,783 --> 00:18:12,943 more like different people for different phases of your life type of thing. 464 00:18:12,945 --> 00:18:15,746 And for the second part, circumcised. 465 00:18:16,282 --> 00:18:17,844 Yeah? Yeah. 466 00:18:18,033 --> 00:18:19,456 All right, who's next? 467 00:18:20,589 --> 00:18:21,785 Anybody? 468 00:18:21,787 --> 00:18:23,254 Come on, guys, don't be shy. 469 00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:26,889 Justine? Anything? 470 00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:28,253 No? Okay. 471 00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:30,569 Noam, anything you want to say in there? 472 00:18:31,609 --> 00:18:34,225 - I think he's asleep. - Yeah, he had a big day. 473 00:18:35,194 --> 00:18:37,778 All right, guys, well, this is your last chance, 474 00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:40,872 'cause after today, we are never talking about this again. 475 00:18:41,357 --> 00:18:42,413 Anyone? 476 00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:44,441 Okay! 477 00:18:44,887 --> 00:18:47,608 Well, then we are done-zo. 478 00:18:49,326 --> 00:18:53,186 Okay. Let's get back to work. 479 00:18:53,305 --> 00:18:55,953 Actually, the store closed, like, 15 minutes ago. 480 00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:57,585 - Oh. - Come on. 481 00:18:57,610 --> 00:18:59,210 Good day, everyone. 482 00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:01,992 Boom. 483 00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,966 Good stuff out there, Miss Sue. 484 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:06,442 Hey, nice hustle, Dan! 485 00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:09,500 So proud of us! Love you guys! 486 00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,739 Dina! It went great! 487 00:19:12,764 --> 00:19:13,860 Well, not at first. 488 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,493 At first, I got very overwhelmed, 489 00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:17,528 and I started to get this rash on my chest, 490 00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:19,196 but then I thought to myself, 491 00:19:19,198 --> 00:19:21,499 "Kelly, girl, you have been through 492 00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:23,834 Miss St. Louis, you can handle this." 493 00:19:23,836 --> 00:19:26,370 And so I delegated, and I problem-solved, 494 00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,193 and I rallied the troops, and... 495 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,201 I did it. 496 00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:33,236 Okay. 497 00:19:37,756 --> 00:19:39,380 I am Myrtle, 498 00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:42,095 your Cloud 9 virtual greeter. 499 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,104 What do you think? 500 00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:46,317 You said you wanted Myrtle, so I got you Myrtle. 501 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,359 Meet our new automated greeter. 502 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,560 Hello, Myrtle. 503 00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:51,460 Welcome to Cloud 9. 504 00:19:52,085 --> 00:19:53,718 This is the big surprise? 505 00:19:53,743 --> 00:19:54,833 Cool, huh, right? 506 00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,484 I mean, it's got over 50 programmable greetings, 507 00:19:56,485 --> 00:19:58,869 plus you can change the background. 508 00:19:58,871 --> 00:19:59,954 She's flying. 509 00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:02,290 Who would want this? 510 00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:04,742 Um, you were mad at me about Myrtle, 511 00:20:04,744 --> 00:20:07,745 so this is, like, the next best thing 512 00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,264 to having her back. 513 00:20:09,799 --> 00:20:11,697 I did this for you. 514 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,721 - It's not Myrtle. - Bye-bye now. 515 00:20:16,723 --> 00:20:19,757 Wait, don't go! Look! She's at the beach, guys! 516 00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,309 And now a snowstorm! 517 00:20:21,311 --> 00:20:22,593 And hang on, hang on, hang on, 518 00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:24,428 I can fix this, right, real quick. 519 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,764 Menu, function... Guys! I can fix this! 520 00:20:26,766 --> 00:20:28,482 I did a good thing! 521 00:20:34,489 --> 00:20:35,823 Hey. 522 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,408 Hey. 523 00:20:37,964 --> 00:20:40,778 So you made it through your first day back. 524 00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:44,142 And you only sexually harassed one teen. 525 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,671 Yep, took a lot of self-control. 526 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,836 Uh, quick question... 527 00:20:48,838 --> 00:20:50,921 So many questions... 528 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,457 Mexican or Italian? 529 00:20:53,964 --> 00:20:55,512 We had Italian last night. 530 00:20:55,514 --> 00:20:56,348 Mexican. 531 00:20:56,373 --> 00:20:57,628 Okay, I'll pick it up. 532 00:20:57,653 --> 00:20:59,464 - I'll get the wine. Hey! - What? 533 00:20:59,489 --> 00:21:00,630 What if they see us? 534 00:21:00,631 --> 00:21:02,319 Nobody's around! 535 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,916 Alright. See ya soon J-Bone. 536 00:21:12,764 --> 00:21:14,421 Looking forward to it A-Hole, 537 00:21:14,446 --> 00:21:22,196 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com