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00:00:23,097 --> 00:00:31,992
credits

2
00:00:32,941 --> 00:00:35,423
Come on, guys. We
don't wanna be late.

3
00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:38,221
Do I have to go? It's the
only day I get to play games.

4
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,684
We're all going. Come on.

5
00:00:42,702 --> 00:00:45,089
I don't understand
why we have to go to church every Sunday.

6
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:46,739
Church is important, Stan.

7
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Way more important than
video games and TV.

8
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,689
Church is about community
and coming together...

9
00:00:51,714 --> 00:00:52,926
A lot of things.

10
00:00:52,951 --> 00:00:55,854
All I know is that after
church, I just feel better.

11
00:00:55,879 --> 00:00:57,802
Yeah. Me, too.

12
00:01:00,078 --> 00:01:01,513
Hey, mornin', Stephen, Linda!

13
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Morning, guys.

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Thanks, there, Randy.

15
00:01:04,749 --> 00:01:06,084
You got it. Where's Josie?

16
00:01:06,118 --> 00:01:07,819
Aw, she slipped her
disc in her neck.

17
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Poor thing can barely move.

18
00:01:09,221 --> 00:01:10,784
Aw, she's gonna miss church?
That's too bad.

19
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,110
Give her my best.

20
00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:15,494
For God so loved the world

21
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that he gave his
only begotten son

22
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so that whoever believed in
him should have eternal life.

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This is the gospel of the Lord.

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Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

25
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Today's gospel talks about
what the Lord has to give us.

26
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He did so because we could
not control our temptations.

27
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Kind of like a priest in a
room full of naked boys.

28
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Okay. Okay.

29
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Let's... let's try and
have none of that today.

30
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In John 3:16, the
gospel tells us how God so loved the world,

31
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he gave to us his only son.

32
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And a Catholic priest raped him.

33
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Okay, okay. Come
Come on, guys.

34
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N-Now, what greater gift could
the Lord have given to us?

35
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Children's underwear

36
00:01:57,002 --> 00:01:58,737
which priests couldn't
pull down so easily.

37
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Okay. Let's... Let's try
and compose ourselves.

38
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Let's try and just get through
this first one, okay, guys?

39
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What does it mean that the Lord
gave us his only begotten son?

40
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It means if you're a cute boy

41
00:02:10,215 --> 00:02:11,592
at a Catholic priest
swimming party,

42
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you better be gettin'!

43
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That was a great one, Nelson.

44
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Salvation in a
little boy's mouth.

45
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I'm gonna post
that one for sure.

46
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Who said the thing
about naked boy salad?

47
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That was Linda!

48
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Well, see ya next
week, everybody!

49
00:02:30,235 --> 00:02:32,204
- Yeah! See ya! -All right.
Take it easy, now!

50
00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:33,405
-Bye. -That was good.

51
00:02:34,565 --> 00:02:36,470
I really don't understand
the point of all that.

52
00:02:36,495 --> 00:02:38,510
Yeah, well, I used to
think that about church

53
00:02:38,543 --> 00:02:39,878
when I was a kid, too.

54
00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:42,047
But back then, I don't know
if church was that stupid.

55
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,935
Hey, don't say things
like that, Stan.

56
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,595
You wanna go to hell?

57
00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:07,839
Father, can I talk to you?

58
00:03:07,873 --> 00:03:11,376
Of course, my child.
What's troubling you?

59
00:03:11,409 --> 00:03:14,377
Well, what's troubling you?

60
00:03:17,182 --> 00:03:19,317
You know, at school,
the kids used

61
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to all make fun of me sometimes.

62
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One kid would say
something mean,

63
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and then the other
kids would laugh.

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I know how lousy it feels.

65
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I learned to just walk away,

66
00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:31,530
not give 'em all
the satisfaction.

67
00:03:31,563 --> 00:03:34,499
Well, we can't all walk away.

68
00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:37,102
The... The priesthood
is all I know.

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I-I dedicated my
entire life to it.

70
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I don't know anything else.

71
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I know it seems impossible.

72
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I thought I'd be a punching
bag my whole life,

73
00:03:46,478 --> 00:03:49,281
but now, I'm one of
the popular kids.

74
00:03:49,314 --> 00:03:50,348
I even get invited

75
00:03:50,382 --> 00:03:52,350
to board game night
at Stan's house.

76
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My point is, sometimes,

77
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y-you just gotta put
yourself out there.

78
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I wanna be Calamity
Jane this time.

79
00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:06,574
How many cards do you
start with, Kenny?

80
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Two cards.

81
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,576
There's Butters!

82
00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:10,869
Hey, fellas!

83
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,537
I hope you don't mind
I brought a friend.

84
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Come on in!

85
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:16,074
Hello, my children.

86
00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:20,712
Okay, so, I-I guess I'm
gonna go to the saloon

87
00:04:20,745 --> 00:04:22,147
and try to arrest Cartman.

88
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Let's see what you got, bitch.

89
00:04:23,873 --> 00:04:27,486
So, Kyle, did you know Father
is a really good singer?

90
00:04:27,519 --> 00:04:28,987
You like to sing,
too, don't you?

91
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:29,990
No.

92
00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:32,268
Praise the Lord for
the Lord is good.

93
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:35,163
Sing praise to his name,
for that is pleasant.

94
00:04:35,188 --> 00:04:36,228
Ace. You lose.

95
00:04:36,261 --> 00:04:37,629
Hey, Stan.

96
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Have you seen my...

97
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,036
No way!

98
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,639
Hang on! Hang on! I
gotta post this!

99
00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:49,040
I shouldn't be here.

100
00:04:49,074 --> 00:04:50,116
This is hilarious.

101
00:04:50,141 --> 00:04:51,952
Four boys and a priest
playing a board game!

102
00:04:51,977 --> 00:04:53,778
- Aw, Father wait a...
- I should go.

103
00:04:53,812 --> 00:04:55,755
No, no, no wait. Let
me get the picture.

104
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:57,328
Father!

105
00:04:57,449 --> 00:04:59,184
Aw, shit! I missed it.

106
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,022
Why did you invite
Butters to game night?

107
00:05:02,154 --> 00:05:03,389
I didn't invite him.

108
00:05:04,606 --> 00:05:06,825
Come on, Father. You
can't give up so fast!

109
00:05:06,858 --> 00:05:09,006
This is just gonna
make things way worse.

110
00:05:09,031 --> 00:05:10,389
People will rip on me.

111
00:05:10,414 --> 00:05:12,645
Who cares? Who cares
what people say?

112
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I do.

113
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Aw, come on. You
gotta be strong!

114
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Why do you care?!

115
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Because I was you. Okay?

116
00:05:19,604 --> 00:05:22,674
I wasn't always this cool.
I've been through it.

117
00:05:22,707 --> 00:05:24,976
But then, one day, somebody
told me something.

118
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He said, "Life is full of love
and light and bountiful things,"

119
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and you know who told me that?

120
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You did! Two years
ago in church!

121
00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:33,819
You have a right to
go and be happy,

122
00:05:33,852 --> 00:05:35,797
and if people wanna keep
trying to knock you down,

123
00:05:35,821 --> 00:05:37,472
well 'em!

124
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,428
Hey. Morning, Mackey.

125
00:05:43,462 --> 00:05:45,964
Happy Sunday!
Mornin', Ted, Hazel.

126
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,899
Mornin'! Mornin'!

127
00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:49,201
Mornin'! Mornin'!

128
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Doin' better. Josie?

129
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A lot better, thank you.

130
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All right.

131
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What the...?

132
00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:01,613
It's not open.

133
00:06:01,646 --> 00:06:02,814
Let me try.

134
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,918
Hey! Hey, it's 9:00! Hey!

135
00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:08,353
What's going on?

136
00:06:12,379 --> 00:06:13,747
Ohhhhh!

137
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There's no church today!

138
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You all are just gonna have to
find something better to do!

139
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,334
Hey.

140
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Hey! Open the door!

141
00:06:23,802 --> 00:06:25,741
Hey! Come on!

142
00:06:28,537 --> 00:06:29,808
Well, this sucks.

143
00:06:29,841 --> 00:06:31,877
What are we supposed
to do without church?

144
00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:34,179
I just feel so empty.

145
00:06:34,212 --> 00:06:35,747
What are you guys
so upset about?

146
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,349
Shut up, Shelly!

147
00:06:39,256 --> 00:06:40,927
Isn't this great, Father?

148
00:06:40,952 --> 00:06:42,354
Fresh, mountain air.

149
00:06:42,387 --> 00:06:43,688
Nice, warm fire.

150
00:06:43,722 --> 00:06:47,058
I have to admit, it's a pretty
nice way to spend a Sunday.

151
00:06:47,092 --> 00:06:49,261
How many are your works, Lord?

152
00:06:49,294 --> 00:06:51,496
In wisdom, you made them all.

153
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:54,132
Yeah. The
Lord's pretty cool.

154
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:55,467
He is...

155
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,903
because he brought me you.

156
00:06:59,309 --> 00:07:02,007
? Faith in Christ

157
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,609
? Faith in Christ

158
00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:15,954
? Faith in Christ

159
00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:22,894
? Faith in Christ

160
00:07:24,229 --> 00:07:26,932
? Faith in Christ

161
00:07:29,768 --> 00:07:32,637
? Faith in Christ

162
00:07:37,843 --> 00:07:41,179
? Faith in Christ

163
00:08:00,215 --> 00:08:03,831
? Faith in Christ

164
00:08:13,478 --> 00:08:16,314
Denver Archdiocese.
The Lord be with you.

165
00:08:16,348 --> 00:08:18,683
And with your spirit, m'kay.

166
00:08:18,717 --> 00:08:20,652
My name is counselor Mackey,

167
00:08:20,685 --> 00:08:22,587
and w-we seem to be
having a little problem

168
00:08:22,621 --> 00:08:24,890
with our local church
here in South Park.

169
00:08:24,923 --> 00:08:27,526
Our, our priest
has gone missing.

170
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,528
Not another one!

171
00:08:29,561 --> 00:08:31,496
All right. Listen
to me carefully.

172
00:08:31,530 --> 00:08:34,533
Your local priest has not
done anything wrong.

173
00:08:34,566 --> 00:08:36,501
Probably just taking
some time off.

174
00:08:36,535 --> 00:08:38,303
Why is that suspicious?

175
00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:39,704
Well, it's not suspicious.

176
00:08:39,738 --> 00:08:42,140
We just kind of don't know
what to do, you know?

177
00:08:42,174 --> 00:08:43,341
We'll take care of it.

178
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:44,886
There's no need to
involve the authorities.

179
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,587
Just sit tight.

180
00:08:48,022 --> 00:08:50,691
Send in a clean-up crew now.

181
00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:55,061
We've got another one.

182
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:57,489
A priest in South
Park has gone rogue

183
00:08:57,522 --> 00:08:59,758
and is probably out
doing his thing.

184
00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:03,161
I need you guys to get up
there and clean up his mess.

185
00:09:03,195 --> 00:09:04,729
Don't worry, Your Holiness.

186
00:09:04,763 --> 00:09:06,465
By the time we're
done with that town,

187
00:09:06,498 --> 00:09:08,748
there won't be a lick
of cum anywhere.

188
00:09:19,442 --> 00:09:20,843
Happy Birthday, Clyde!

189
00:09:21,673 --> 00:09:23,612
Hope you don't mind
I brought a friend!

190
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:27,216
For we are God's handiwork,
created in Christ Jesus

191
00:09:27,249 --> 00:09:29,218
to do good works.

192
00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:31,420
Dude, what are you
talking about?

193
00:09:31,454 --> 00:09:32,455
Come on, Father!

194
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,457
Let's go tear up
the skating rink!

195
00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:36,692
Just leave it alone, Clyde.

196
00:09:36,718 --> 00:09:38,682
- Butters brings him everywhere.
- I don't care.

197
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:41,373
I don't want a priest at
my birthday party!

198
00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,898
It's all right, Clyde.
It's all right.

199
00:09:47,864 --> 00:09:49,661
That's it! You're doin' great!

200
00:09:51,146 --> 00:09:52,675
Mother Mary.

201
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:55,015
I feel like everyone's
staring at me.

202
00:09:57,146 --> 00:09:58,180
Nobody's staring!

203
00:09:58,214 --> 00:09:59,749
I'm gonna go get
us some soda pop.

204
00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:01,717
You just mingle with
the other fellas!

205
00:10:07,713 --> 00:10:09,992
What's it all about?

206
00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:12,128
Are we just bags of
carbon and water

207
00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:14,163
put on this planet
for no purpose?

208
00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:15,770
You're born.

209
00:10:15,931 --> 00:10:17,288
You die.

210
00:10:17,313 --> 00:10:20,049
Then you're just
food for the worms.

211
00:10:20,074 --> 00:10:23,055
It all does seem
pretty meaningless.

212
00:10:23,572 --> 00:10:25,307
Hey! The church is back open!

213
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:26,776
There's people inside!

214
00:10:26,809 --> 00:10:28,644
- What? -They church
is back open?

215
00:10:28,677 --> 00:10:29,912
Boy! Let's go! Let's go!

216
00:10:29,945 --> 00:10:32,681
- The church is back open!
- Thank God! - Let's go!

217
00:10:35,209 --> 00:10:36,585
Scrub everything.

218
00:10:36,619 --> 00:10:37,686
Police can detect

219
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,530
even a milligram of
cum and rectal blood.

220
00:10:39,995 --> 00:10:40,956
Hey!

221
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,591
Hello, my children.

222
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:43,692
The Lord be with you.

223
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,628
And with your spirit.

224
00:10:45,661 --> 00:10:47,063
What, what are you guys doing?

225
00:10:47,096 --> 00:10:49,131
We're just giving the
place a nice scrub down

226
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,866
while we wait for your
priest to come back.

227
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,835
He was called to South
America last week.

228
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,278
Last week?

229
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:56,426
No, he was at my house
a couple days ago

230
00:10:56,451 --> 00:10:58,052
playing board games
with the boys.

231
00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,643
No, he wasn't.

232
00:11:00,676 --> 00:11:02,211
Look. I assure you
everything is fine.

233
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:05,014
Your priest will be back.
Just have some patience.

234
00:11:05,047 --> 00:11:06,382
Aw!

235
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,084
Come on, guys.

236
00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:10,796
Scrub everything.

237
00:11:10,821 --> 00:11:12,421
Bleach those board-game pieces.

238
00:11:12,455 --> 00:11:14,323
You find something
on that chair?

239
00:11:14,356 --> 00:11:16,592
It's either blood and cum
or ketchup and mayo.

240
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:17,993
Well, just get rid of it.

241
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,595
Bleach the entire
top of the table.

242
00:11:19,628 --> 00:11:21,778
That's probably where
he mounted them.

243
00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:24,500
Excuse me?

244
00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:26,702
Hello, my son.

245
00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:28,037
What are you doing?

246
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:29,638
What are we doing about what?

247
00:11:29,672 --> 00:11:30,973
Well, I mean, it looks like

248
00:11:31,006 --> 00:11:32,951
you're scrubbing and bleaching
our table and chairs.

249
00:11:32,975 --> 00:11:35,111
Mnh-mnh. That's not
what's going on.

250
00:11:35,144 --> 00:11:37,613
Your local priest was
never here, actually.

251
00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:39,315
Yeah, he was. I played with him.

252
00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:41,107
You did?

253
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,652
Better get the Kumby.

254
00:11:43,686 --> 00:11:45,020
What's a Kumby?

255
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:47,323
We're just here to cleanse
your spirit, my child.

256
00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:48,858
Praise be to Christ.

257
00:11:55,523 --> 00:11:58,801
? Happy birthday, dear Clyde

258
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:02,204
? Happy birthday to you

259
00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:03,572
Yay!

260
00:12:03,606 --> 00:12:05,508
And now, let us pray.

261
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:06,709
Awwww.

262
00:12:06,742 --> 00:12:09,879
Bless us, Lord,
and these thy gifts,

263
00:12:09,912 --> 00:12:11,355
which we are about to receive...

264
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,082
Kyle, will you do
something, please?

265
00:12:13,115 --> 00:12:15,151
- Why me? - Kyle!

266
00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:19,255
Through Christ, Our Lord.
Amen.

267
00:12:19,288 --> 00:12:22,024
Butters, can I talk
to you really fast?

268
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:24,660
Sure, Kyle. Be
right back, Father.

269
00:12:24,693 --> 00:12:26,162
All right, my child.

270
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:28,397
What's up?

271
00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:29,732
Butters, you know,

272
00:12:29,765 --> 00:12:33,302
you can't just bring your
priest with you everywhere.

273
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:36,305
I mean, sometimes the
guys just wanna do stuff

274
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,407
and not have a priest around.

275
00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:39,775
What are you saying, Kyle?

276
00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:42,044
I'm saying it's just kind
of awkward, Butters.

277
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:43,546
He's bumming everybody out.

278
00:12:43,579 --> 00:12:46,115
Nobody wants to hear about
Jesus at a birthday party.

279
00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:47,583
Well, of course you don't.

280
00:12:47,616 --> 00:12:49,985
It's not just me. It's
everybody, Butters.

281
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:53,089
He can try all he wants, but
he just doesn't belong here.

282
00:12:53,122 --> 00:12:55,424
Well, I'm sorry for
trying to help out

283
00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:57,660
somebody who didn't have
anywhere else to turn.

284
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,628
We'll both just leave.

285
00:12:59,662 --> 00:13:02,407
I thought you were
better than that, Kyle.

286
00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:08,137
? Faith in Christ

287
00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:10,573
? Faith in Christ

288
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,076
All right, clean and
scrub everything.

289
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:15,411
I want it spotless!

290
00:13:15,444 --> 00:13:17,980
Get any evidence the priest
might have left behind.

291
00:13:18,013 --> 00:13:19,600
There's something over here.

292
00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:22,918
But I can't tell if
it's cum or frosting.

293
00:13:22,952 --> 00:13:25,020
It's an 8-year-old's
birthday party.

294
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,056
Of course it's cum.
Get the Kumby!

295
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,332
Praise be to Christ.

296
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:34,029
Hello, young man.

297
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,564
We're looking for
your town priest.

298
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:36,644
Was he here?

299
00:13:37,064 --> 00:13:39,288
Yeah, but he left with Butters.

300
00:13:39,702 --> 00:13:41,771
Tell me about this Butters.

301
00:13:41,804 --> 00:13:43,126
All right, that does it!

302
00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:45,441
Get outta my birthday party,

303
00:13:45,474 --> 00:13:47,676
or else I'm gonna
call the police!

304
00:13:51,141 --> 00:13:52,162
Father!

305
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:53,230
Father?

306
00:13:53,516 --> 00:13:55,117
Has anybody seen my priest?

307
00:13:55,381 --> 00:13:56,982
Father, where'd you go?

308
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,132
There you are! I been
lookin' everywhere.

309
00:14:01,517 --> 00:14:03,259
Just leave me alone.

310
00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:05,027
But you're missin' the party.

311
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:07,063
Look, your friends
are right, okay?

312
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,798
I don't belong there.

313
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:10,900
I-I don't belong anywhere.

314
00:14:11,839 --> 00:14:14,094
They just don't
understand you like I do.

315
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,972
Stop defending me! There's
things you don't know!

316
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,340
But it's not your fault.

317
00:14:18,374 --> 00:14:21,228
Yes, it is. It i my fault! Why?!

318
00:14:21,253 --> 00:14:23,428
Because I knew! All right?!

319
00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:26,883
I knew.

320
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:29,218
Years ago,

321
00:14:29,251 --> 00:14:31,830
when bad things started coming
out about the Catholic Church,

322
00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:34,724
I went to Vatican,
and I... I found out

323
00:14:34,757 --> 00:14:37,359
that the problem was worse
than anyone even thought.

324
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:42,998
I thought I could help fix
it, so I kept my mouth shut.

325
00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:45,267
I thought there was a
cancer in the Church

326
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,802
that we could get rid of.

327
00:14:46,836 --> 00:14:49,739
But the Church is the cancer.

328
00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:52,108
It's not about a few bad apples.

329
00:14:52,522 --> 00:14:54,418
There's only a few good apples,

330
00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:56,912
and I'm clearly not one of them.

331
00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:58,814
So just stay away from me!

332
00:14:59,955 --> 00:15:02,518
But... I thought we were pals.

333
00:15:03,953 --> 00:15:05,921
You thought wrong.

334
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:25,016
Hey.

335
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:26,976
Hey, there.

336
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,565
What's the matter, my child?

337
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,164
Did you know that
Jesus loves you?

338
00:15:33,219 --> 00:15:34,950
Sometimes I wonder.

339
00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:37,386
"And the life I now
live in the flesh

340
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:40,871
I live by faith in the Son
of God, who loved me."

341
00:15:41,263 --> 00:15:42,977
Wanna Three Musketeers?

342
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:45,061
No, thanks.

343
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:47,930
You like camping trips?
You wanna go camping?

344
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,444
No.

345
00:15:50,147 --> 00:15:52,702
I got a bunny in the back.
You wanna see the bunny?

346
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,570
Well, okay!

347
00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:58,007
Stan?

348
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,109
I have no idea what's going on.

349
00:16:00,142 --> 00:16:02,120
Worst birthday ever!

350
00:16:06,369 --> 00:16:07,837
Boring.

351
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,372
Dumb.

352
00:16:09,405 --> 00:16:11,240
Stupid.

353
00:16:11,273 --> 00:16:14,199
Good, but dated in its
view of gender norms.

354
00:16:17,955 --> 00:16:19,390
Hello, Mr. Marsh.

355
00:16:19,415 --> 00:16:20,279
Father!

356
00:16:20,304 --> 00:16:22,021
Hey, Sharon, it's Father!

357
00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:23,195
- Mr. Marsh, please
- He's back!

358
00:16:23,219 --> 00:16:24,086
Father's back!

359
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,121
I'm just going around

360
00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:26,967
trying to locate
little Butters Stotch.

361
00:16:26,992 --> 00:16:28,024
I thought he might be here

362
00:16:28,057 --> 00:16:29,558
playing a board
game with your son?

363
00:16:29,592 --> 00:16:32,828
No, I haven't seen Butters.
Or Stan.

364
00:16:32,862 --> 00:16:36,242
But, Father, please,
we all need church.

365
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:38,334
I'm sorry, but I have
to keep looking.

366
00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,102
I said some terrible things.

367
00:16:40,136 --> 00:16:41,704
Please, Father, we're all lost,

368
00:16:41,737 --> 00:16:43,917
and the clean-up crew
hasn't helped at all.

369
00:16:46,545 --> 00:16:48,340
What clean-up crew?

370
00:16:54,868 --> 00:16:56,264
Any sign of him?

371
00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:57,520
No, but this should
draw him out.

372
00:16:57,553 --> 00:16:58,788
The cute one says it's where

373
00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,356
he and the priest
first got together.

374
00:17:00,389 --> 00:17:02,358
All right. When the
priest gets here,

375
00:17:02,391 --> 00:17:03,726
we'll take care of him

376
00:17:03,759 --> 00:17:06,562
and then eradicate this
entire place of any evidence.

377
00:17:06,595 --> 00:17:08,264
Should I bring out the Kumby?

378
00:17:08,297 --> 00:17:10,633
No, this is gonna be a
bigger job than that.

379
00:17:10,714 --> 00:17:13,446
Bring out the Cumboni.

380
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:24,982
Hey, Randy, what's up?

381
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:25,981
Stephen!

382
00:17:26,015 --> 00:17:27,772
Stephen, listen... The
boys are missing.

383
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,774
Father Maxi thinks they've been
taken by the other priests!

384
00:17:31,074 --> 00:17:32,663
Taken by priests?

385
00:17:32,688 --> 00:17:34,957
Should we call the police
or buy some condoms?

386
00:17:35,242 --> 00:17:37,278
Okay.
O-Okay, that was good.

387
00:17:37,303 --> 00:17:39,278
But, seriously, we have
to find these guys!

388
00:17:39,303 --> 00:17:40,471
The boys are in danger!

389
00:17:40,496 --> 00:17:42,865
But where would priests
go this late at night?

390
00:17:42,898 --> 00:17:45,866
To a midnight sale at Boys-R-Us?

391
00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:47,282
Wha... What'd she say?

392
00:17:47,307 --> 00:17:49,739
She said, "to a midnight
sale at Boys-R-Us."

393
00:17:49,772 --> 00:17:51,644
Can... Can I post that?

394
00:17:51,669 --> 00:17:52,765
Sure, she doesn't care.

395
00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:53,709
Give me that!

396
00:17:53,743 --> 00:17:55,678
Mr. Stotch, have you heard
from Butters at all?

397
00:17:55,719 --> 00:17:57,855
Well, yeah, we got a
really weird text from him

398
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,149
saying not to worry, he
needed to do some camping.

399
00:18:00,695 --> 00:18:03,116
My Lord. I know where to go.

400
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,687
And when we get there...

401
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,622
I'll need to go in alone.

402
00:18:06,655 --> 00:18:08,790
Yeah, I'll bet.

403
00:18:09,807 --> 00:18:11,168
He's not showing up.

404
00:18:11,193 --> 00:18:12,936
Try the Priest Call.

405
00:18:14,707 --> 00:18:16,353
I love Jesus!

406
00:18:16,378 --> 00:18:18,346
I love Jesus!

407
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,603
I don't think he's coming.

408
00:18:20,636 --> 00:18:22,705
He's coming all
right, just not here.

409
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:24,340
Let's start packing up.

410
00:18:24,373 --> 00:18:27,410
You... Get on the Cumboni
and eradicate this place

411
00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:28,878
along with everything in it.

412
00:18:28,911 --> 00:18:30,379
Yes, Your Holiness.

413
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:31,413
Wait!

414
00:18:33,494 --> 00:18:34,505
Father.

415
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,453
You wanted to find me.
Well, here I am.

416
00:18:37,486 --> 00:18:39,155
I know why you're here.

417
00:18:39,188 --> 00:18:42,079
The church can't
have someone like me

418
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:44,075
going around,
making it look bad.

419
00:18:44,345 --> 00:18:46,727
So go ahead. Do it.

420
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,785
Just get it over with.

421
00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:50,666
What?! No!

422
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,735
You think we searched
all over town

423
00:18:52,768 --> 00:18:54,704
and set up this
trap to kill you?

424
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:56,189
We're Catholics.

425
00:18:56,214 --> 00:18:58,274
We're here to give you
what you deserve.

426
00:18:58,307 --> 00:19:01,493
A full transfer to the
beautiful Maldive Islands!

427
00:19:01,518 --> 00:19:04,134
Luxury airfare and
beach house included!

428
00:19:05,981 --> 00:19:07,183
A transfer?

429
00:19:07,303 --> 00:19:08,971
The church took
care of everything,

430
00:19:08,996 --> 00:19:11,316
just like it always has
from the beginning.

431
00:19:11,877 --> 00:19:14,645
"Thank you for cleaning
up all my cum."

432
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,427
I can just go?

433
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,497
I can start over
in the Maldives?

434
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,492
No one will make
fun of you there.

435
00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:24,769
They can't even speak English.

436
00:19:24,794 --> 00:19:26,969
And don't worry... there'll
be plenty of priests

437
00:19:26,994 --> 00:19:28,437
to take your place here.

438
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,840
Look, I know it's a
big change, but...

439
00:19:30,873 --> 00:19:33,319
you know what you have to do.

440
00:19:34,112 --> 00:19:36,012
Yes, I do.

441
00:19:36,045 --> 00:19:38,323
I don't think I have
any other choice.

442
00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:42,385
No. He can't.

443
00:19:42,622 --> 00:19:44,324
Well, our work here is done!

444
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,913
Praise be to Christ, guys.

445
00:19:45,938 --> 00:19:47,642
It certainly was a tough one,

446
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,897
but I think we got everything
cleaned up and...

447
00:19:58,504 --> 00:19:59,968
The Cumboni!

448
00:19:59,993 --> 00:20:03,639
Aah! Aaaaaagh!

449
00:20:03,673 --> 00:20:04,774
Aah!

450
00:20:04,807 --> 00:20:06,876
Aaaaaagh!

451
00:20:11,614 --> 00:20:13,717
Nooooooooo! Br-br-br-br-br-br!

452
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,344
Father, you did it!

453
00:20:21,369 --> 00:20:23,257
I'm so sorry, my child.

454
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,307
I never meant to say
we weren't pals.

455
00:20:25,332 --> 00:20:27,335
Does that mean
you're gonna stay?

456
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,372
Of course.

457
00:20:28,397 --> 00:20:31,567
Now I have purpose,
and I have meaning.

458
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,237
My job here is to protect you.

459
00:20:35,271 --> 00:20:37,106
All of you.

460
00:20:41,731 --> 00:20:43,558
The Lord be with you.

461
00:20:44,004 --> 00:20:46,472
And with your spirit.

462
00:20:47,575 --> 00:20:51,654
Today, I'd like to talk on
the subject of penance.

463
00:20:51,687 --> 00:20:54,790
The penitent have deep remorse,

464
00:20:54,824 --> 00:20:58,494
but for true penance, we
must be humble enough

465
00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:03,099
to admit that the Lord's
forgiveness is undeserved.

466
00:21:03,132 --> 00:21:05,457
Kind of like how getting
raped by a Catholic priest

467
00:21:05,482 --> 00:21:06,610
is undeserved.

468
00:21:07,957 --> 00:21:10,114
In Job 42:6, we read,

469
00:21:10,139 --> 00:21:12,408
"Therefore I reprehend myself

470
00:21:12,441 --> 00:21:15,011
and do penance in
dust and ashes."

471
00:21:15,044 --> 00:21:17,520
And in choir boys'
butts and asses.

472
00:21:18,481 --> 00:21:20,883
So we are not to
punish ourselves,

473
00:21:20,916 --> 00:21:24,453
but instead we are to make
ourselves passionate.

474
00:21:24,487 --> 00:21:26,946
Like a Catholic priest at a Chuck E.
Cheese.

475
00:21:28,424 --> 00:21:30,559
God, it's good to
have my faith back!

476
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:34,030
Passionate to understand
all that Christ sacrificed

477
00:21:34,063 --> 00:21:36,432
and how hard it truly was.

478
00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:38,434
How hard what truly was?

479
00:21:38,458 --> 00:21:45,212
credits