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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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Everyone...

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Was napping.

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- Ahmed Adoody.
- Wait, there's...

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- ? My people. ?
- come down to the Stu...

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Steamed ham.

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The cosmic ballet goes on.

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- Gigantism.
- King of the world!

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Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer.

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- It is?
- What's his name?

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Number Eight.

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Uh, I mean, Santa's Little Helper.

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Why does Homer talk like Walter Matthau?

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_

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Hey, Martin Princess.

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If you like that cello so much,
why don't you marry it?

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- No heckling.
- Way to quash 'em, sir.

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Hey, Skinner, if you
like Chalmers so much,

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why don't you marry him?

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Well, as the superintendent,

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he's married to all the principals.

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Thank you. You've made the anniversary

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of my wife's death even more depressing.

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Who likes happy songs?

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Well, for those of you who didn't cheer,

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here's a very sad song
about the world today.

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She loves me. She loves me not.

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Oh, why do I always use
flowers with two petals?

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Simpson, pull the fire alarm.

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You want me to embarrass my sister

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in front of the whole school?

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No.

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I dared you.

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Don't do it, Bart.

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Please. I love you.

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I'm not doing it. I'm refusing a dare.

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You just signed your
death warrant, Simpson.

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And we're the witnesses.

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All we need is a notary.

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- Notary. Notary.
- We'll see.

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Oh, it's that kid who refused a dare.

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His life is ruined.

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I'm turning my back on you.

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Hi, Bart.

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Simpson, I'd like to
see you in my office.

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Your parents are waiting.

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Whoa.

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Bart's got a dad.

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Bart's got a dad.

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I do not.

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Bart, I just want to say...

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I'm so proud of you.

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Dad, do you think I did the right thing?

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Of course, absolutely.

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You did the worst thing any boy can do.

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It's worse than wetting your
pants while on Santa's lap,

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and I've been on both sides of that one.

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I'm sorry.

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Bart, you have to take a dare.

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- B-B-But what if it's...?
- Any dare.

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GRAMPA, Dad says I have to take a dare.

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I had Homer on a dare,

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and as horrible as that worked
out, I'd do that again.

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Why did someone dare you to have Homer?

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It was after the war; we needed babies.

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Bart, I have a secret.

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I've never been happier
to be your mother.

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You're a good boy.

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Mom, please. Somebody might hear you.

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Oh, look at him!

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Ha-ha. Bart's mom wears a seat belt.

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Let them laugh, Bart.

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This is wonderful.

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Every laugh turns into one
more smoochie-poo from Mom.

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Cut it out.

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Three cheers for the mama's boys.

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Sorry to do this on Mother's Day!

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So, Simpson, word on the street is

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you're looking for a dare.

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Yeah, fine.

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I need to get this monkey off my back.

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Hey, how about that for a dare?

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Putting a monkey on his back.

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And after we're done, then what?

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We have a monkey that's our
permanent responsibility.

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Yeah, think ahead, dingus.

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Simpson, I dare you to
jump into the reservoir

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from Dead Boy's Ledge.

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We'll be watching from Haw-Haw Heights.

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_

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Simpson, is that your kid?

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Oh, my God. I've got to stop him!

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I dare you not to.

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Oh, uh, oh.

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It was a joke, idiot. Get your kid.

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Bart!

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Do I really have to do this?

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I dare you.

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Dare you. Dare you.

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Dare you.

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I love Echo Canyon.

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Oh, this place sure has a lot of names.

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Cowabunga!

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We've done all we could.

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Run!

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Beat it!

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He'll be fine.

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And my burrito's ready.

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Mmm.

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Your boy should wake up soon. Mmm.

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All right. This time,
he's really done it.

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We're gonna have to do something.

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Change schools. Move.

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Whatever it takes.

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Mom?

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- Sweetie, are you okay?
- I am.

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Then why would you do such
a stupid, stupid thing?

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Marge, Marge. As someone
who's fallen off

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a cliff multiple times,

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the best thing we can do

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is teach him how to fall off cliffs.

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I just want to know, Bart.

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I had hope and now I don't. Why?

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Please, O Lord.

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Let him think of an awesome lie.

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Well, when I was in the other world...

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What other world?

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Hmm, hmm...

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I'm not sure.

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But it was joyful, clouds,
harps, Abe Lincoln.

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Oh, my God, Marge!

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I think our son went to heaven.

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Were there any other presidents?

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- No.
- It was heaven. What else, boy?

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I have a message for you, Mom.

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- From who?
- Jesus.

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Don't say that if it's not true.

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You have to believe him, Marge.

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It's a deathbed confession.

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He's not on his deathbed.

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The guy in the bed before him died.

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Mom. Jesus said to tell you,
"Things will get better."

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Oh, I really want to believe that.

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If you saw Jesus, did
you see anything else?

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I saw your dad, Grandpa Bouvier.

146
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Tell me something he said
that only I would know.

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- He said...
- Hmm?

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he thinks Homer is an idiot.

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Oh, my God, I can hear
his voice through you.

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Excuse me a minute.

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Good work, boy.

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You got us off the hook
in the short term,

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which is all that ever matters.

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- Tell me more about heaven, son.
- Jesus rides a rainbow horse.

155
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Fascinating. Is the
horse rainbow-colored?

156
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Or does it walk on a rainbow?

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Uh... rainbows come out its butt.

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Let me ponder that with joy.

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Mmm. Tell me more, son.

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Well, there's no cracks
on the sidewalks.

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And saying you brushed
your teeth makes it true.

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_

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You can go to baseball games
with all the dead players.

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And you always catch a home run.

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And the angels talk to
each other like this:

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Does this, uh, Jesus have any tattoos

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or distinguishing marks?

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No, but he really thinks
the sermons are too long.

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Boys, we're gonna have a
talk with the Reverend.

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_

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Bart. I've held my tongue,
because I appreciate

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you not ruining my song.

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Can't ruin what already sucks. Burn.

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All right. I'm just gonna say it.

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I don't think you really saw Jesus.

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You know, the Lord warned me

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there'd be disbelievers. Begone!

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I don't know why you're
doing this, but beware,

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little lies lead to big lies.

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And big lies get punished.

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Ooh! That's the Devil ringing that bell.

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Are you gonna answer?

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Hey, don't think you can
scare the boy who died

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and went to heaven.

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Get the door.

186
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Hey, cut it out.

187
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Oh, no, it's stuck.

188
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Hello, Bart.

189
00:07:53,329 --> 00:07:55,643
We are Christian movie producers.

190
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So... you give all your
profits back to the church?

191
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Uh...

192
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You... uh... Could you, uh, uh...

193
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Could you get your dad?

194
00:08:06,622 --> 00:08:09,023
Homer, we're the best in the business.

195
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Our films average 98% on
Rotten Communion Wafers.

196
00:08:12,395 --> 00:08:16,030
Now, we'd like to tell your son's story.

197
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You want to make a movie out
of what happened to Bart?

198
00:08:19,468 --> 00:08:20,634
Well, absolutely.

199
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Unless it's not true.

200
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Okay, I could admit the boy totally lied

201
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or I could make a movie
inspired by true events.

202
00:08:33,182 --> 00:08:35,549
Brother Homer, why do you hesitate?

203
00:08:35,585 --> 00:08:39,179
I hesitate because I am stunned

204
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that you doubt the Word of God!

205
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Whoa.

206
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:43,357
Then we have a deal.

207
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,725
Not so fast.

208
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,661
Like most of America, I think
I know the movie business.

209
00:08:47,697 --> 00:08:49,863
Please. What would you like?

210
00:08:49,899 --> 00:08:51,465
I want input on the script.

211
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,820
I want two seats to the premiere.

212
00:08:53,845 --> 00:08:55,469
And my wife needs a seat as well.

213
00:08:55,504 --> 00:08:57,984
And I'm not thanking the
Georgia Film Commission,

214
00:08:58,009 --> 00:08:59,173
no matter what.

215
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:01,875
We will need to pray on
this, Brother Homer.

216
00:09:01,911 --> 00:09:03,811
Of course. So will we.

217
00:09:03,846 --> 00:09:05,312
Kneel down, boy.

218
00:09:05,348 --> 00:09:06,480
What for?

219
00:09:06,515 --> 00:09:11,485
Because we're going to
pray like we often do.

220
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,922
Heavenly God, who art in
heaven, holler out your name.

221
00:09:14,957 --> 00:09:17,691
Thy Kingdom come. I'm almost done.

222
00:09:17,727 --> 00:09:20,227
Ooh. Can this square join your circle?

223
00:09:20,263 --> 00:09:22,329
Absotively-posilutely.

224
00:09:22,365 --> 00:09:24,531
In that same spirit,
I'm glad to hear it.

225
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:25,897
- Oh, hi-diddly-do.
- A-dum-dum-diddly.

226
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,901
- Diddly-doodly, brother.
- Diddly-doodly-diddly-dice.

227
00:09:27,937 --> 00:09:29,737
- Nice to diddly meet you.
- Brotherino.

228
00:09:29,772 --> 00:09:33,440
I heard movie meetings were
horrible, but I had no idea.

229
00:09:33,476 --> 00:09:35,156
Well, perhaps you could write

230
00:09:35,181 --> 00:09:37,077
the screenplay with Brother Homer.

231
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,460
Um, eh, I don't think so.

232
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:40,414
Wait, wait, wait.

233
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,449
I'm being filled with
the spirit of Jesus.

234
00:09:43,946 --> 00:09:45,586
Oh, yeah? What's he saying?

235
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:48,389
He says he wants Dad and Mr. Flanders

236
00:09:48,424 --> 00:09:51,820
to work together day after
day in a tiny room,

237
00:09:51,845 --> 00:09:53,394
preferably holding hands.

238
00:09:53,439 --> 00:09:54,705
Why, you...

239
00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:57,023
No booze, sodas, or chocolate milk.

240
00:09:57,048 --> 00:09:59,433
And the only snacks are celery sticks.

241
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,035
Celery sticks.

242
00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:03,257
Not done yet.

243
00:10:03,293 --> 00:10:05,968
Dad, Jesus wants you to
take Flanders bowling.

244
00:10:06,935 --> 00:10:08,195
Tie his shoes for him.

245
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,960
- What for?
- And kiss his ball.

246
00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,710
- Why, you...
- This is the Word of the Lord.

247
00:10:12,735 --> 00:10:15,616
With that kind of attention,
I could roll a 73.

248
00:10:15,651 --> 00:10:21,021
Oh...

249
00:10:21,115 --> 00:10:24,377
_

250
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,790
What are you guys doing?

251
00:10:30,815 --> 00:10:32,566
What's it look like? We're working.

252
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,580
Maybe we should take a break.

253
00:10:36,605 --> 00:10:38,605
Good idea.

254
00:10:39,901 --> 00:10:41,065
Okay, come on.

255
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:44,789
Lenny, you've pitched "That's
what she said" 30 times already.

256
00:10:44,814 --> 00:10:46,947
I highly doubt that's the Word of God.

257
00:10:46,982 --> 00:10:49,011
- Try something else.
- That's what she said.

258
00:10:50,308 --> 00:10:52,029
That's great! That's going in.

259
00:10:52,054 --> 00:10:54,254
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

260
00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:57,524
Lenny and me. Mine.
Mostly mine. Mine. Mine.

261
00:10:57,598 --> 00:11:00,135
I was thinking it when
Barney said it. Mine.

262
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,963
Reading for Marge... Emily Deschanel.

263
00:11:02,998 --> 00:11:05,499
Oh, yeah. Uh, first,
I have a question for you.

264
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:08,963
On Bones, did you ever have any
bones with meat left on them,

265
00:11:08,988 --> 00:11:10,771
and if so, where are those bones?

266
00:11:10,806 --> 00:11:13,141
Maybe she should just read the part.

267
00:11:13,447 --> 00:11:16,290
Homie, because of
everything that's happened,

268
00:11:16,315 --> 00:11:18,045
I think we need to take a break.

269
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,514
No! Marge, no!

270
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,259
A break means forever.

271
00:11:22,284 --> 00:11:23,907
I'll change. I will.

272
00:11:23,932 --> 00:11:25,986
No, Homer, she's just acting the part.

273
00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:28,889
Oh. Oh, of course, of course, yes.

274
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,368
As a help to me, when you're acting,

275
00:11:31,393 --> 00:11:33,660
could you hold up one hand so I'll know?

276
00:11:33,696 --> 00:11:35,229
Oh, o-okay.

277
00:11:35,264 --> 00:11:37,064
- Thank you.
- Homie.

278
00:11:37,099 --> 00:11:38,619
Yes, Marge. You have a question?

279
00:11:38,644 --> 00:11:40,077
Ugh. She's acting!

280
00:11:40,169 --> 00:11:42,669
Right, right, right. She's acting.

281
00:11:42,696 --> 00:11:44,929
When you're acting,
could you raise one arm

282
00:11:44,963 --> 00:11:47,485
and swing your foot in a
circle and keep winking?

283
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,594
Listen, Homie.

284
00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:51,790
Marge, what are you doing?!
You're acting really weird.

285
00:11:51,815 --> 00:11:53,213
Is he okay?

286
00:11:53,249 --> 00:11:55,582
You thought I was okay
when you married me.

287
00:11:56,119 --> 00:11:57,217
Actors.

288
00:11:57,253 --> 00:11:59,219
Gal Gadot reading for Lisa.

289
00:11:59,255 --> 00:12:01,204
- You've got the part!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

290
00:12:01,229 --> 00:12:03,257
I know you were great
in Fast and Furious,

291
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:05,025
but what else have you been in?

292
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,884
Uh... did you see Wonder Woman?

293
00:12:06,909 --> 00:12:10,063
Whenever I see the DC logo,
I immediately fall asleep.

294
00:12:10,099 --> 00:12:11,665
Homer, she's got the part.

295
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,266
Okay, you get this and I
get Gene Hackman for me.

296
00:12:15,291 --> 00:12:16,673
Huh. He already said no.

297
00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:18,141
Then you have to help me kidnap him.

298
00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:19,373
Excuse me.

299
00:12:19,408 --> 00:12:21,759
So, do you want to put me on tape or...?

300
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:25,580
Hey! Can we use your magic
lasso to kidnap Gene Hackman?

301
00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:26,513
No.

302
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,171
Barney is here to read for Noah.

303
00:12:28,217 --> 00:12:30,417
There's no Noah in this movie.

304
00:12:30,453 --> 00:12:33,104
All right, but you
better tell the camels.

305
00:12:37,729 --> 00:12:40,694
Mom, do you really believe Bart's story?

306
00:12:40,729 --> 00:12:43,864
Lisa, do you know how I've
gotten to this point in life?

307
00:12:43,899 --> 00:12:46,967
Two things... blind faith
and a little wine.

308
00:12:47,002 --> 00:12:49,805
Can you get me the wine that I
keep in Mommy's knitting basket?

309
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:51,440
I know where you keep it.

310
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:54,643
There was no knitting in there.

311
00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:56,944
Ah!

312
00:12:57,252 --> 00:13:01,157
Jesus said to tell you,
"Things will get better."

313
00:13:01,182 --> 00:13:03,317
And... cut.

314
00:13:03,352 --> 00:13:05,953
I wish you and I had
a relationship like that.

315
00:13:05,988 --> 00:13:07,654
Why, you little...

316
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:13,460
They wish they had
a relationship like us!

317
00:13:13,496 --> 00:13:17,297
Uh, there is nothing a director
can do on set that's wrong.

318
00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:20,467
Take five, everybody.

319
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:21,690
What do you want?

320
00:13:21,715 --> 00:13:24,248
I told you, lies lead to punishment,

321
00:13:24,273 --> 00:13:26,626
especially when you film them.

322
00:13:26,651 --> 00:13:28,742
What are you talking about?

323
00:13:28,777 --> 00:13:31,001
If you really saw Grandpa Bouvier,

324
00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:32,657
which finger was he missing?

325
00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:34,844
I believe he was wearing
a beekeeping outfit

326
00:13:34,869 --> 00:13:36,283
when I saw him.

327
00:13:36,318 --> 00:13:39,198
Trick question. He's missing a leg.

328
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,464
Okay.

329
00:13:40,489 --> 00:13:42,289
So maybe I fudged a few things.

330
00:13:42,324 --> 00:13:44,915
It's not the original lie
that gets people.

331
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:46,470
It's the cover-up.

332
00:13:46,495 --> 00:13:48,595
It's gonna get worse and worse

333
00:13:48,631 --> 00:13:51,365
and worse and worse and worse.

334
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,333
Dad, I'm starting to feel weird.

335
00:13:53,369 --> 00:13:55,877
I'm not your Dad.
I'm the actor playing him.

336
00:13:56,557 --> 00:13:58,516
You need all that padding to play Homer?

337
00:13:58,541 --> 00:14:00,406
Yes, and I'm fat to begin with.

338
00:14:03,211 --> 00:14:04,694
Okay, this one's for China.

339
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,461
This one's for Australia.

340
00:14:07,462 --> 00:14:09,561
And this one's for the youth market.

341
00:14:09,597 --> 00:14:12,249
- Dad?
- This is all because of you.

342
00:14:12,274 --> 00:14:14,046
I have never been so excited.

343
00:14:14,071 --> 00:14:15,342
Now what do you want to say?

344
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:18,155
Um, is there anything
you want to tell anyone?

345
00:14:18,180 --> 00:14:20,985
Any inaccuracies or blatant lies?

346
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,710
The scene we said is New York

347
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:27,791
is actually downtown Calgary,

348
00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:29,316
and vice versa.

349
00:14:33,954 --> 00:14:36,855
No, no. I'm going to heaven!

350
00:14:41,906 --> 00:14:43,022
Hello, Bart.

351
00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:44,796
Didn't they give you
a real leg in heaven?

352
00:14:44,821 --> 00:14:46,208
I lost it in a bet.

353
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:49,116
A bet that my grandson was a good boy.

354
00:14:49,141 --> 00:14:50,469
Save me, Jesus!

355
00:14:50,504 --> 00:14:52,604
I'm trying very hard to forgive you.

356
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,106
It is very tough.

357
00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:56,474
What are you gonna do to me?

358
00:14:56,499 --> 00:14:58,299
Bart, God is love.

359
00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:15,129
And here's Marge with the
actress who played her.

360
00:15:15,154 --> 00:15:17,016
Oh, in real life we don't get along.

361
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:22,554
Who are you worshipping?

362
00:15:22,579 --> 00:15:24,069
Are you telling the truth?

363
00:15:24,104 --> 00:15:25,537
He will not be taking any questions

364
00:15:25,573 --> 00:15:26,972
unless they're submitted in writing

365
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,341
on an index card with some bacon on it.

366
00:15:29,366 --> 00:15:31,332
Turkey bacon does not count.

367
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:35,981
Tell the people what you
have witnessed, Bartholomew.

368
00:15:36,016 --> 00:15:39,662
And if they doubt you, viciously
attack their character.

369
00:15:39,687 --> 00:15:41,687
Yes, Jesus.

370
00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:46,663
Bart, you're my hero.

371
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:48,655
Now, who wants a hamburger?

372
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,993
I would never say any of those things.

373
00:15:52,689 --> 00:15:54,155
Now sing, Bart.

374
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:56,415
Sing because I cannot.

375
00:15:58,939 --> 00:16:01,540
? One more chance ?

376
00:16:01,575 --> 00:16:04,243
? It is my destiny ?

377
00:16:04,278 --> 00:16:06,612
? To start my road ?

378
00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:10,682
? To Christianity ?

379
00:16:10,718 --> 00:16:16,022
? I always knew he had a mission ?

380
00:16:16,047 --> 00:16:20,125
? Thank God we called
off the mortician ?

381
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,060
? One more chance ?

382
00:16:22,096 --> 00:16:27,532
? He's alive, someone
quick call Channel 5 ?

383
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:30,358
? One more chance. ?

384
00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:32,937
_

385
00:16:32,962 --> 00:16:35,274
_

386
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:38,170
_

387
00:16:38,195 --> 00:16:40,061
Eh. Not enough Bart.

388
00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:44,328
Oh, someone pinch me.

389
00:16:44,353 --> 00:16:47,266
Thank you. Thank you
for this Christian Oscar.

390
00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:49,254
And I'd like to thank
the Academy of Arts

391
00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:50,845
and Anti-Sciences.

392
00:16:51,992 --> 00:16:53,392
Are you guys awake?

393
00:16:53,427 --> 00:16:55,627
Mm. What's the matter, sweetie?

394
00:16:55,663 --> 00:16:58,727
Mom, I lied about everything.

395
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:00,098
Oh, my God!

396
00:17:00,134 --> 00:17:01,633
Don't worry, Marge.

397
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:03,820
It's just a little movie.
Nobody will see it.

398
00:17:03,845 --> 00:17:05,531
Mr. Flanders just called.

399
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:08,883
The movie's on pace to make
a hundred million dollars.

400
00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:11,453
It crushed all the good movies
that came out this week.

401
00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:13,539
Take that, Paul Thomas Anderson.

402
00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:17,047
Oh, my God. Our movie's a hit and a lie.

403
00:17:17,072 --> 00:17:19,469
Oh, all hit movies are lies, Marge.

404
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:20,836
Did you see Argo?

405
00:17:20,861 --> 00:17:22,120
None of that happened.

406
00:17:22,156 --> 00:17:24,727
And I have strong doubts
about The Incredibles.

407
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,977
Well, we have to tell people the truth.

408
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,242
Of course, of course.

409
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:29,761
Could we do it after the Golden Globes?

410
00:17:29,797 --> 00:17:31,163
MARGE, LISA AND BART: No!

411
00:17:31,198 --> 00:17:32,698
But that's the one with TV people

412
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,632
and movie people in the same room.

413
00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:36,090
We said no!

414
00:17:39,853 --> 00:17:40,891
First off,

415
00:17:40,916 --> 00:17:44,086
we will donate every penny
of our profits to charity.

416
00:17:44,111 --> 00:17:46,094
Keeping only enough money

417
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,938
to cover changing our
lives in a major way.

418
00:17:49,158 --> 00:17:51,211
Hey, what is this?

419
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,220
Fine, fine, fine, all of it.

420
00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:55,422
Okay, look, I just want to say,

421
00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:58,289
I'm just a man trying to raise his son.

422
00:17:58,314 --> 00:17:59,711
I make mistakes.

423
00:17:59,736 --> 00:18:01,969
Sometimes they're little,
sometimes they're big.

424
00:18:01,994 --> 00:18:05,564
Blame me, but don't blame
the boy for being a boy.

425
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:08,233
Oh.

426
00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:10,908
And let me just ask this. Is it possible

427
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:14,189
any other religious beliefs
are founded on myths?

428
00:18:14,214 --> 00:18:15,627
This interview is over.

429
00:18:15,652 --> 00:18:17,720
God created the world
in seven days. See you later.

430
00:18:17,745 --> 00:18:19,994
In what some are calling
the worst scandal

431
00:18:20,019 --> 00:18:22,572
in the history of religion,
Bart Simpson lied

432
00:18:22,597 --> 00:18:25,101
when he claimed he had talked to Jesus.

433
00:18:25,126 --> 00:18:27,640
But maybe part of the fault lies with us

434
00:18:27,665 --> 00:18:30,756
for desperately wanting a
miracle in these troubled times.

435
00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:34,476
Times which we bring into your
homes at 5:00, 6:00 and 11:00.

436
00:18:34,501 --> 00:18:36,722
Here's a hobo lost in a hurricane.

437
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,314
Um, I had a hat!

438
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,390
Hey, Bart.

439
00:18:41,415 --> 00:18:42,646
I brought you some ice cream.

440
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:43,804
Up here.

441
00:18:46,438 --> 00:18:49,406
The only friend I have is
the Frisbee on the roof.

442
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:52,971
Hmm. Well, you'll always have me.

443
00:18:53,377 --> 00:18:54,385
Careful.

444
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,166
Dad didn't nail these in too well.

445
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,486
You think God'll forgive me?

446
00:18:58,511 --> 00:18:59,783
Don't tell anyone I said that.

447
00:18:59,808 --> 00:19:02,916
Well, if there is a God,
from what I know,

448
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,744
said God will forgive you

449
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,166
if you truly have remorse in your heart.

450
00:19:07,191 --> 00:19:08,338
Well, thanks, Lis.

451
00:19:08,363 --> 00:19:09,799
Don't tell anyone I asked you that.

452
00:19:09,824 --> 00:19:12,127
I did it 'cause you're the
smartest person I know.

453
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,877
And don't tell anybody I said that.

454
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,025
I won't!

455
00:19:19,508 --> 00:19:21,885
Dad must have raked the leaves today.

456
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,586
Now that's a miracle.

457
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:26,554
_

458
00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:29,475
_

459
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,667
I made it.

460
00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:38,269
Gal Gadot?!

461
00:19:38,294 --> 00:19:40,526
They like me so much, I get to visit.

462
00:19:40,988 --> 00:19:44,651
I made it, too, boy, and Jesus
really wants to meet you.

463
00:19:44,676 --> 00:19:45,901
Go on in!

464
00:19:45,926 --> 00:19:47,292
Where are you going?

465
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:50,401
This place is so boring.

466
00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:52,793
Time for another game
of "Mother, May I?"

467
00:19:52,818 --> 00:19:54,745
Oh!

468
00:19:55,373 --> 00:19:57,230
Please send me back to Earth.

469
00:19:57,255 --> 00:20:00,542
Yes, yes. You can be a turtle
or a pharmaceutical CEO.

470
00:20:00,668 --> 00:20:01,737
Turtle, please.

471
00:20:01,762 --> 00:20:03,495
Hmm.

472
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:10,224
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