1 00:00:01,445 --> 00:00:03,523 So you're the only new kid. Big deal, right? 2 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,586 You are gonna crush first grade, Soph. 3 00:00:05,688 --> 00:00:06,754 Thanks, Dad. 4 00:00:06,856 --> 00:00:09,090 A-A-And in case you do get nervous, 5 00:00:09,192 --> 00:00:11,092 I got you something special. 6 00:00:11,281 --> 00:00:13,648 A magical amulet. 7 00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:16,390 Nothing bad can happen to you when you got this guy on. 8 00:00:16,444 --> 00:00:19,454 Careful! Ooh, don't let the magic out! 9 00:00:21,324 --> 00:00:23,858 Did you make this out of Post-its? 10 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,426 No! 11 00:00:26,429 --> 00:00:27,328 Yes. 12 00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:28,763 It's gonna be way worse for me 13 00:00:28,865 --> 00:00:30,665 if I'm wearing sticky notes around my neck. 14 00:00:30,767 --> 00:00:32,500 I'm good on my own. 15 00:00:32,602 --> 00:00:34,502 You're good on your own? 16 00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:37,171 Yeah. See you at pickup. 17 00:00:37,273 --> 00:00:38,339 Okay. 18 00:00:38,441 --> 00:00:40,608 Bye. 19 00:00:41,678 --> 00:00:46,080 # I've been staring at the edge of the water # 20 00:00:46,182 --> 00:00:49,584 # Long as I can remember # 21 00:00:49,686 --> 00:00:52,053 # Never really knowing why, cha cha cha cha cha # 22 00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:54,222 Are you whisper-singing "Moana" at me? 23 00:00:54,324 --> 00:00:56,290 Well, yeah, 'cause it always calms you down. 24 00:00:57,654 --> 00:00:59,086 But not now. Bad timing. 25 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,422 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Read the room, right? 26 00:01:01,447 --> 00:01:02,500 Okay, you got this. 27 00:01:02,525 --> 00:01:03,558 - Bye, I love you. - Bye. 28 00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:05,493 - It's gonna be fun. - What if I miss you? 29 00:01:05,595 --> 00:01:06,661 Look, buddy, we talked about this. 30 00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:08,829 It's only six hours. You're gonna do great. 31 00:01:08,932 --> 00:01:10,398 Can I have your scarf? 32 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:11,732 Graham, we're not doing the scarf thing. 33 00:01:11,834 --> 00:01:14,569 Please. It helps when I have something of yours to sniff. 34 00:01:14,671 --> 00:01:16,237 Look, I don't want you sitting at your desk 35 00:01:16,339 --> 00:01:18,239 during recess sniffing my stuff. 36 00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:23,177 Okay, fine, but you're gonna eat vegetables tonight, 37 00:01:23,279 --> 00:01:24,345 the green bummer ones. 38 00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:26,514 Mmm. 39 00:01:26,616 --> 00:01:28,349 Like coconuts and safety. 40 00:01:28,451 --> 00:01:29,984 Mom? I'm regretting the purple. 41 00:01:30,086 --> 00:01:32,320 I should have dressed like a normal kid. 42 00:01:32,422 --> 00:01:34,989 Hey. What's the one thing you always have to be? 43 00:01:35,091 --> 00:01:36,524 - Myself? - And who are you? 44 00:01:36,626 --> 00:01:38,025 Honestly, Mom, I don't even know right now. 45 00:01:38,127 --> 00:01:41,195 Hey, you are a smart, stylish young man 46 00:01:41,297 --> 00:01:43,931 who could pull off jewel tones better than anyone I know. 47 00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:45,700 And you can cut a rug. 48 00:01:45,802 --> 00:01:47,034 Okay. 49 00:01:47,136 --> 00:01:48,803 Today, I am a grape! 50 00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:51,472 You heard him. My kid's living his truth. 51 00:01:51,574 --> 00:01:53,808 Dad, you forgot our lunch boxes. 52 00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:55,509 Okay, tell you what. 53 00:01:55,612 --> 00:01:58,346 Take 20 bucks and buy yourself a burger from the grill, huh? 54 00:01:58,448 --> 00:02:01,148 Dad, this isn't the club. There's no grill. 55 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,817 Right. Here, sweetheart. 56 00:02:02,919 --> 00:02:04,986 Get yourself some crap with a rainbow on it. 57 00:02:05,088 --> 00:02:06,320 - My kid's taking your lunch. - Hey! 58 00:02:06,422 --> 00:02:08,155 No one ever packed me snacks. Make it work. 59 00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,157 Dad, you can't call girls "sweetheart." 60 00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,492 It's not empowering. 61 00:02:11,594 --> 00:02:13,327 Okay, let me tell you what is empowering... 62 00:02:13,429 --> 00:02:14,795 fending for yourself. 63 00:02:14,897 --> 00:02:17,298 Kids today, they're treated like morons. 64 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,399 But not you two. 65 00:02:18,501 --> 00:02:20,401 I would share a foxhole with both of you, 66 00:02:20,503 --> 00:02:22,403 and that is the highest compliment I can give you. 67 00:02:22,505 --> 00:02:24,372 All right, hit me with the family motto. 68 00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:25,706 No weakness. 69 00:02:25,808 --> 00:02:27,375 Drain the swamp. 70 00:02:27,477 --> 00:02:30,044 Excuse me. Sir? Are you supposed to be here? 71 00:02:30,146 --> 00:02:31,879 Do you have a child in this class? 72 00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:33,914 Oh, uh, he's my neighbor. 73 00:02:34,017 --> 00:02:36,651 He's 20, and he's raising a baby alone. 74 00:02:36,753 --> 00:02:37,852 He hasn't fully accepted 75 00:02:37,954 --> 00:02:39,520 that his life has changed forever, you know? 76 00:02:39,622 --> 00:02:41,656 Yeah, um, I'm not running a support group. 77 00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:43,691 You're a little mean. I like it. 78 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:45,559 Where am I? 79 00:02:45,662 --> 00:02:47,895 Oh, I had the strangest dream. 80 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:51,766 Oh. 81 00:02:51,868 --> 00:02:53,701 Sir, I'm gonna ask you to leave. 82 00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:54,935 He goes where we go. 83 00:02:55,038 --> 00:02:57,038 Here you go. Get yourself something nice. 84 00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:58,372 I can't accept tips. 85 00:02:58,474 --> 00:03:01,075 Okay. It, uh, "dropped on the floor." 86 00:03:02,653 --> 00:03:06,627 Attention! Excuse me! Hello, hi! 87 00:03:06,713 --> 00:03:08,916 Quiet coyotes. Quiet coyotes. 88 00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:09,950 Thank you. 89 00:03:10,053 --> 00:03:11,952 My name is Will Cooper, 90 00:03:12,055 --> 00:03:15,623 and I have the honor of being your Room Parent. 91 00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:16,791 - Nice. - Oh, that's exciting. 92 00:03:16,893 --> 00:03:18,626 - Oh, no. - Ooh, this is bad. 93 00:03:18,728 --> 00:03:21,095 Is he wearing a necklace made of garbage? 94 00:03:21,197 --> 00:03:23,564 Uh, Sophie and I are new to the school, 95 00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:25,132 and we are so looking forward 96 00:03:25,234 --> 00:03:27,468 to getting to know every one of you. 97 00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:29,970 I am single. 98 00:03:30,073 --> 00:03:31,105 Um... 99 00:03:31,207 --> 00:03:33,274 Always try to get that out there. 100 00:03:33,376 --> 00:03:34,942 Just never quite sure how to work it in. 101 00:03:35,044 --> 00:03:36,444 But that just means I have more time 102 00:03:36,546 --> 00:03:39,780 for creating a little hot lunch option I call... 103 00:03:39,882 --> 00:03:42,114 ... "Taco Tuesday," y'all! 104 00:03:42,184 --> 00:03:43,250 Right? 105 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,418 Did he just "Oprah" that? 106 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,787 - He know he's white, right? - Everybody knows. 107 00:03:46,889 --> 00:03:49,457 - Come on! Give me fives! All right! - Somebody tell me when it's safe 108 00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:51,425 for my nuts to return to my body. 109 00:03:51,527 --> 00:03:52,760 Now, I see a lot of you are wondering, 110 00:03:52,862 --> 00:03:54,628 "Where do I fit into the equation?" 111 00:03:54,731 --> 00:04:01,001 Five words... "One hundred percent parent participation." 112 00:04:01,104 --> 00:04:02,036 He's got to be kidding. 113 00:04:02,138 --> 00:04:03,671 - I am not kidding. - Not happening. 114 00:04:03,773 --> 00:04:04,972 I'm gonna be standing right outside that door 115 00:04:05,074 --> 00:04:08,075 with this sign-up sheet, okay? 116 00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:10,411 This is what's become of the American male. 117 00:04:10,513 --> 00:04:12,034 We used to make things. 118 00:04:12,104 --> 00:04:14,088 Empathy, Douglas. He's single. We're single. 119 00:04:14,183 --> 00:04:16,283 No, I've never been that single. 120 00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,685 Do not try to avoid me, 121 00:04:17,787 --> 00:04:20,321 'cause I will hunt you down and circle you like a shark. 122 00:04:21,591 --> 00:04:24,925 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 123 00:04:26,963 --> 00:04:28,696 Okay, guys, we need to talk babysitting. 124 00:04:28,798 --> 00:04:29,830 I'll need help Thursday because 125 00:04:29,932 --> 00:04:31,799 all the paralegals are going out to karaoke. 126 00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,801 Just kidding. We're staying late to file. 127 00:04:33,903 --> 00:04:34,969 On Thursday, I'm busy. 128 00:04:35,071 --> 00:04:36,337 I got to 'Gram my new Yeezys. 129 00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,506 - You're a ridiculous person. - Thanks, man! 130 00:04:38,608 --> 00:04:39,874 Well, at least he doesn't eat steak 131 00:04:39,976 --> 00:04:41,942 with the same pasty old white guys night after night. 132 00:04:42,044 --> 00:04:43,444 We're not pasty old white guys. 133 00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:44,779 We're dermatologists 134 00:04:44,881 --> 00:04:46,814 saving the lives of pasty old white guys. 135 00:04:46,916 --> 00:04:48,883 Hey, guys, I need some help. 136 00:04:48,985 --> 00:04:50,851 Found this in Graham's backpack. 137 00:04:50,953 --> 00:04:53,888 - Aww, Graham wrote a love letter. - Aww. 138 00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:54,922 - Oh, no, to Zoe? - Yes. 139 00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:56,257 That girl who always wears bunny ears? 140 00:04:56,359 --> 00:04:57,625 - She's crazy. - She runs the school. 141 00:04:57,727 --> 00:04:58,959 And if she breaks Graham's heart, 142 00:04:59,061 --> 00:05:01,228 I will chop off her feet and turn them into keychains. 143 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:03,230 - Huh? - Just kidding. 144 00:05:03,332 --> 00:05:04,832 But I'll be really mad. 145 00:05:04,934 --> 00:05:06,367 Oh, God, the new guy. 146 00:05:06,469 --> 00:05:08,536 ...field trips? Actually, are you insured drivers? 147 00:05:08,638 --> 00:05:09,804 We have got to deal with him. 148 00:05:09,906 --> 00:05:12,325 But I have no time to be handing out tacos all year. 149 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,284 - No. - Word. 150 00:05:13,309 --> 00:05:14,375 I'm still in awe of how you did away 151 00:05:14,477 --> 00:05:15,543 with last year's Room Parent. 152 00:05:15,645 --> 00:05:17,578 You wiped all trace of us from that phone tree. 153 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:18,646 It's kind of my thing. 154 00:05:18,748 --> 00:05:20,481 Parents! Will Cooper! 155 00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:22,650 I just wanted to, uh, circle back 156 00:05:22,752 --> 00:05:25,152 and see where we are vis-à-vis committees. 157 00:05:25,254 --> 00:05:26,587 You know what? Let me say it plain... 158 00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:28,589 we're not gonna do anything you want us to do. 159 00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:30,257 No, man. We're single parents. 160 00:05:30,359 --> 00:05:32,259 We don't volunteer. We just try and survive 161 00:05:32,361 --> 00:05:34,762 until a time in the day when it's appropriate to open wine. 162 00:05:34,864 --> 00:05:35,930 I don't know if you heard my announcement, 163 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,307 - but I'm single, as well. - We heard. 164 00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:38,539 - We... We heard. - We heard, bro. 165 00:05:38,634 --> 00:05:40,434 So I have no wiggle room on parent participation. 166 00:05:40,536 --> 00:05:42,770 You're in deep, aren't you? 167 00:05:42,872 --> 00:05:44,371 Deep in what? 168 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,106 The vortex. 169 00:05:46,209 --> 00:05:48,609 That place where you're so wrapped up in your kid 170 00:05:48,711 --> 00:05:50,778 that you've lost all touch with your adult life 171 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,413 and the person you used to be. 172 00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:55,771 I know, 'cause I've been there. 173 00:05:55,852 --> 00:05:58,919 # The wheels on the bus go round and round # 174 00:05:59,021 --> 00:06:01,255 # Round and round, round and round # 175 00:06:01,357 --> 00:06:03,924 # The wheels on the bus go round and round # 176 00:06:05,061 --> 00:06:06,560 It happens to all of us. 177 00:06:06,662 --> 00:06:08,128 But I don't think I'm in a vortex. 178 00:06:08,231 --> 00:06:11,232 Will, when was the last time you stayed up past 10:00? 179 00:06:11,334 --> 00:06:12,299 In the nighttime? 180 00:06:12,401 --> 00:06:14,101 Okay, when's the last time you made love? 181 00:06:14,203 --> 00:06:15,102 Oh, my... 182 00:06:15,204 --> 00:06:16,770 It's okay. There's no judgment here. 183 00:06:16,873 --> 00:06:18,105 This is a safe space. 184 00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:19,273 - Yeah, for real. - Yeah, just tell us. 185 00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:20,441 - Yeah? - Just ballpark. 186 00:06:20,543 --> 00:06:23,277 All right, ballpark... 187 00:06:23,379 --> 00:06:25,779 give or take a month, it's been about... 188 00:06:25,882 --> 00:06:27,114 five years. 189 00:06:27,216 --> 00:06:28,449 - Oh, baby, no. - Whoo! 190 00:06:29,552 --> 00:06:30,584 - Dang! - Oh, my God. 191 00:06:30,686 --> 00:06:32,152 You guys said that this was a safe space. 192 00:06:32,255 --> 00:06:33,320 Not that safe. 193 00:06:33,422 --> 00:06:35,823 You know, what you need is a date. 194 00:06:35,925 --> 00:06:36,891 Poppy? 195 00:06:36,993 --> 00:06:38,559 There. I made you a Tinder account. 196 00:06:38,661 --> 00:06:41,562 How did you... Is that my face on Putin's body? 197 00:06:41,664 --> 00:06:43,797 Pushing you into the deep end, Will. That's how we do this. 198 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,799 If I'm being honest, the timing's not great. 199 00:06:45,902 --> 00:06:47,334 It's 120 days till Christmas... 200 00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:49,003 Are you gonna hide behind that sign-up sheet 201 00:06:49,105 --> 00:06:50,738 or am I swiping right? 202 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,306 I've got Room Parent responsibilities... 203 00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:54,049 - Come on! Swipe! Swipe! - I have no investment either way. 204 00:06:54,143 --> 00:06:56,377 - Never done something like this before, okay? - Swipe! 205 00:06:56,479 --> 00:06:58,212 You know what? Do it. 206 00:06:58,314 --> 00:06:59,780 Swipe left! 207 00:06:59,882 --> 00:07:01,081 It's "swipe right." 208 00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:03,083 It's "swipe right," and you just said that. Sorry. 209 00:07:06,228 --> 00:07:08,134 Okay, okay, okay. We got Emma, we got Amy, 210 00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:10,610 we got Rory, we got Graham. Who are you? 211 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,580 Wrong van, kid. Get out of here. Beat it. 212 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,210 Angie! Hey! Will Cooper from yesterday. 213 00:07:15,288 --> 00:07:16,999 - So, tonight's date night. - Ooh. 214 00:07:17,038 --> 00:07:19,254 Remember, a real man pays for dinner. 215 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,556 Is that true? I mean, I don't know by 2018's standards... 216 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,224 Will, I say this with an open heart 217 00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:24,726 and nothing but love... 218 00:07:24,828 --> 00:07:26,755 - you're a disaster. - Preach. 219 00:07:26,849 --> 00:07:28,177 Yeah, I don't know if I'm a disaster. 220 00:07:28,256 --> 00:07:30,156 I mean, yes, I'm experiencing some anxiety, 221 00:07:30,258 --> 00:07:31,857 but that's normal, okay? And I'm just... 222 00:07:31,959 --> 00:07:33,693 Will. I don't have time for this. 223 00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:34,980 - Oh. - We got you the date, 224 00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:36,695 and now I have to babysit everyone else's kids 225 00:07:36,798 --> 00:07:38,697 so I can have a Saturday night to drink champagne out of a can 226 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,032 and watch a bird documentary. 227 00:07:40,134 --> 00:07:41,867 Okay, 'cause I was actually coming over to say 228 00:07:41,969 --> 00:07:43,035 I could babysit today if you want... 229 00:07:43,137 --> 00:07:44,336 We'll be there in 15 minutes. 230 00:07:44,439 --> 00:07:45,805 Oh, cool. 231 00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:46,939 DIEGO: Yo, why did you bring 232 00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,307 your baby to the sneaker line? 233 00:07:48,409 --> 00:07:50,309 'Cause free babysitting doesn't just fall out of the sky. 234 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,080 Oh, snap! Free babysitting! 235 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,581 All right, yo, hey. Be right back. 236 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,615 - Wait... - Okay. 237 00:07:56,717 --> 00:07:57,983 I... Imma come back. Hold my spot. 238 00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,485 I... I'll be back without the baby. Just me. 239 00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:00,586 Hold my spot! 240 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,924 Welcome, dudes! Will Cooper! 241 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,592 Do you guys want to go play in my room? 242 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,184 The theme is "tasteful unicorn." 243 00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:09,934 Thanks a lot. We'll be back in a few. 244 00:08:10,004 --> 00:08:11,246 Good God. 245 00:08:11,332 --> 00:08:13,499 - This place is a wonderland. - Every chair is a beanbag. 246 00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,668 There's no chair that isn't a beanbag. 247 00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:17,670 All chairs currently have beans. 248 00:08:17,772 --> 00:08:19,572 Indoor trampoline? 249 00:08:19,674 --> 00:08:21,107 So they can bounce when it's raining. 250 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,409 Will, sit down. 251 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,180 What are you gonna wear on your date tonight? 252 00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:29,849 - This? - Oh, God. 253 00:08:29,951 --> 00:08:31,417 Oh, you're serious. 254 00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,585 Or... Or... 255 00:08:32,687 --> 00:08:34,753 ...I do have another option. 256 00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:36,088 Ah! 257 00:08:36,190 --> 00:08:37,223 Shorts! 258 00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:39,342 Y-Your pants are making my baby cry, man! 259 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:41,099 Make it stop. Make it all stop. 260 00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:43,170 Here. Oh. I know. I know. 261 00:08:43,263 --> 00:08:45,531 Rock, squat, pause. 262 00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:47,066 Rock, squat, pause. 263 00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:50,789 - Oh. There we go. - Oh, my God. What did you do? 264 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:51,971 It's a little something I call... 265 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,772 Rock, squat, pause. 266 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:54,974 - "Puss"? - No. 267 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:55,975 - "Puzz." - Rock, squat... 268 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,430 Listen... Rock, squat, pause. 269 00:08:58,523 --> 00:08:59,945 - Puh... - "Pause." "Pause." 270 00:09:00,047 --> 00:09:00,946 Oh, "pause"! 271 00:09:01,048 --> 00:09:01,947 Say it with me. Rock... 272 00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:03,282 - Never. - Nah, man. 273 00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:04,617 What if I learn to do that 274 00:09:04,719 --> 00:09:06,418 and then I haven't had sex in five years 275 00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:08,754 and I'm wearing pants that zip off into shorts? 276 00:09:08,856 --> 00:09:10,756 Give me my baby. 277 00:09:10,858 --> 00:09:11,924 Ah, you guys, you're right. 278 00:09:12,026 --> 00:09:13,592 I-I... I'm clearly not ready, okay? 279 00:09:13,694 --> 00:09:16,428 I-I say we put the brakes on the date tonight, 280 00:09:16,531 --> 00:09:19,091 okay, just until after Taco Tuesday's figured out. 281 00:09:19,169 --> 00:09:20,499 I want to keep that guac from browning... 282 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,501 No. No. Focus. 283 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,670 There's honestly a lot of fear that's creeping in. 284 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:25,905 Take a deep breath. 285 00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:27,406 You're going on this date. 286 00:09:27,508 --> 00:09:29,608 Good. I'm excited about that. 287 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:31,443 Hey, so just making sure, 288 00:09:31,546 --> 00:09:33,245 you're gonna be taking Emma and Amy tonight? 289 00:09:33,347 --> 00:09:36,015 Because I'm getting together with my dermatologist pals. 290 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,850 Oh, Rory wanted me to ask you to come 291 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,185 to his dance party tonight. 292 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,948 Aww, what a sweetheart. Pass. 293 00:09:42,034 --> 00:09:43,689 I told you, he's going through a thing. 294 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,858 He won't even wear his favorite leotard to school, 295 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,193 'cause he's scared other kids will make fun of him. 296 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,028 Well, of course they're gonna make fun of him. 297 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,196 When I was a boy, 298 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,429 I got beaten up for smiling at a basketball game. 299 00:09:52,515 --> 00:09:53,960 All right, look. I don't know why, 300 00:09:54,062 --> 00:09:55,628 but my kid likes you, okay? 301 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:56,963 And in case you haven't noticed, 302 00:09:57,065 --> 00:09:58,631 he doesn't have another man in his life, 303 00:09:58,733 --> 00:10:00,533 so why don't you just show up for him? 304 00:10:00,635 --> 00:10:03,603 I don't dance, okay, especially with guys. 305 00:10:03,705 --> 00:10:06,372 You know, I still can't wrap my head around this place. 306 00:10:06,474 --> 00:10:08,474 Why does every book have to be on yoga and menopause? 307 00:10:08,576 --> 00:10:12,378 Douglas... you are why we march. 308 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,213 Oh, God. 309 00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:15,882 Yo, why do we have to do this again? 310 00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:18,718 I just don't want to send him out into the world like this. 311 00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:19,719 I mean, it would be a crime. 312 00:10:19,821 --> 00:10:21,888 It's like leaving a baby on a doorstep 313 00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:23,122 and hoping for the best. 314 00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:26,307 - Miggy. - Hmm? 315 00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:27,508 You can't actually do that. 316 00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:29,343 - I knew that. - Just checking. 317 00:10:29,445 --> 00:10:31,345 I just don't want him to bomb his date 318 00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:34,348 and start harassing us again about hot lunch. 319 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:37,451 This is the third pair of earmuffs I have found. 320 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,453 Who hurt this guy? 321 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:43,324 "Zoe, I want to hug you and give you all my gum." 322 00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:44,825 That's a great start. 323 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:48,329 I've been in love with Zoe since day one of kindergarten. 324 00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,164 Then she put those bunny ears on... 325 00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:52,166 stick a fork in me, I'm done. 326 00:10:52,268 --> 00:10:53,200 It's your first love. 327 00:10:53,302 --> 00:10:54,868 That's a big deal. It's exciting. 328 00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,670 You shouldn't be afraid to let your feelings out. 329 00:10:56,772 --> 00:10:57,705 Exactly. 330 00:10:57,807 --> 00:10:59,974 That's how I want to play it with Zoe. 331 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,243 Raw, open, positive. 332 00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:03,410 Oh, by the way, 333 00:11:03,512 --> 00:11:05,646 don't let my mom scare you about the date tonight. 334 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,982 She doesn't believe in love because... 335 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,850 my dad is kind of a garbage human. 336 00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,685 That's good to know. 337 00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:14,688 But I'm gonna cut you off on the juice boxes, 'kay, bud? 338 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:17,591 Hey, Will? Angie says I have to give you a makeover. 339 00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:21,028 This is my Everest. 340 00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:23,230 Oh, my God! 341 00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:27,701 Angie, are you hurt? 342 00:11:28,139 --> 00:11:29,439 Why do you have this? 343 00:11:29,464 --> 00:11:30,478 Oh. 344 00:11:30,503 --> 00:11:33,197 Honestly, I've never seen that before in my life. 345 00:11:33,222 --> 00:11:35,342 Dude, your wallet is in here 346 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,678 and a bag of popcorn that's still hot. 347 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:41,015 - You've used this today. - Yeah, I use it for snacks, okay? 348 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,117 Nobody ever tells dads what to do about snacks, 349 00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:45,719 and this is a good snack holder. 350 00:11:45,821 --> 00:11:51,125 It was actually my wife's... before she left. 351 00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:55,763 Oh. I'm sorry. 352 00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:58,432 Do you think that maybe there's a reason... 353 00:11:58,534 --> 00:11:59,933 I don't know, just throwing it out there... 354 00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:04,938 that this is the bag she didn't take when she left? 355 00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:09,777 Do you miss her? 356 00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:11,445 No. 357 00:12:11,547 --> 00:12:13,447 But I miss having someone, 358 00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:16,617 and not just for the bad stuff or hard stuff or whatever, 359 00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:18,752 but... but for all of the good things, 360 00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:20,921 like when she lost her first tooth 361 00:12:21,023 --> 00:12:22,790 and when she told her first joke 362 00:12:22,892 --> 00:12:25,125 and the week she demanded I called her 363 00:12:25,227 --> 00:12:26,593 "Jelly Bean Teen Machine." 364 00:12:27,563 --> 00:12:30,931 Nobody tells you how lonely it can be. 365 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,935 One time, I made a boyfriend out of a pile of laundry... 366 00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:37,438 and I rolled around in him. 367 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,772 It wasn't built to last. 368 00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:44,945 But when you have kids, something happens to you. 369 00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:46,280 - You become mush. - Mm. 370 00:12:46,382 --> 00:12:48,282 But you got to hide that. That's what I tell Graham. 371 00:12:48,384 --> 00:12:51,251 Otherwise, that little weirdo's gonna get his heart broken. 372 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,586 I-I honestly don't know 373 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,689 if I'm capable of hiding my mush. 374 00:12:55,791 --> 00:12:56,890 I mean, you guys are lucky. 375 00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:58,392 You have each other to look out for one another, 376 00:12:58,494 --> 00:13:01,395 but it's just me. 377 00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:03,397 Do you ever look at each other and go, 378 00:13:03,499 --> 00:13:06,066 - "Ah, it takes a vill..." - Don't say it. 379 00:13:06,168 --> 00:13:07,434 Just throw out the bag. 380 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,771 Hey. Did Angie text you her plan? 381 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,272 Yeah, we help him get ready for the date, 382 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,308 and then we never have to volunteer. 383 00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:15,642 Hello, ladies. 384 00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:16,910 - Hi, Dad. - Hey, Dad. 385 00:13:17,012 --> 00:13:19,780 - Hey, girls. What are you doing? - Will's floor mats. 386 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,182 Would it kill him to shampoo them once in a while? 387 00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,184 People don't think that kids can buff and wax, 388 00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:25,686 but they're the perfect height. 389 00:13:25,788 --> 00:13:29,323 Before I can commit to a blazer, ask yourself... 390 00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:30,991 can this man pull off this vest? 391 00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:32,326 I mean, he doesn't have the arms, 392 00:13:32,428 --> 00:13:33,827 but, you know, he might have the attitude. 393 00:13:33,929 --> 00:13:35,162 - No, no vest. - Vest. 394 00:13:35,264 --> 00:13:37,064 - For the love of God, no vest. - Mm-hmm. Vest. 395 00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:40,701 Maybe this wants to live here, 396 00:13:40,803 --> 00:13:43,237 - for tonight's dance party? - I'm seeing it. 397 00:13:43,262 --> 00:13:44,315 # Dance party # 398 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:45,839 - Oh, okay, please. - Forget it. 399 00:13:45,941 --> 00:13:48,208 We've been trying to get him to sing and dance for years. 400 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:50,043 They're right. I-I'm sorry, kid, 401 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,478 but I'm not going to the party. 402 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,982 That's okay. Maybe next time. 403 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,152 Nice, Douglas. Real nice. 404 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,520 - Rory, I'll wear your vest. - What? 405 00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:01,355 You don't have the right torso for a vest, Mom. 406 00:14:01,457 --> 00:14:03,090 Stop trying to make it happen. 407 00:14:03,192 --> 00:14:04,858 - Ah, I get it, Doug. - Douglas. 408 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,194 Afraid to risk embarrassing yourself, 409 00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:08,862 but that's the greatest part of parenting is, 410 00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:10,197 it gets you out of your comfort zone. 411 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:13,367 Look, I'm not interested in leaving my comfort zone, 412 00:14:13,469 --> 00:14:15,202 and I haven't been since my wife died. 413 00:14:15,304 --> 00:14:17,387 - Oh, I'm so... - No, no, no, I see you want to hug me, 414 00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:18,772 and I'm gonna have to stop you right there. 415 00:14:18,874 --> 00:14:20,411 I can't imagine losing your best friend. 416 00:14:20,497 --> 00:14:22,934 She was a 26-year-old exotic dancer. 417 00:14:23,045 --> 00:14:24,077 She looked great in pants. 418 00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:25,612 Ain't love a funny thing. 419 00:14:25,714 --> 00:14:27,614 Anyway, I said, "Okay, I'll have kids," 420 00:14:27,716 --> 00:14:29,283 thinking I would change one diaper 421 00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:31,852 and get dementia right before they hit their teens. 422 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,621 Instead, she dropped dead and left me with two baby girls. 423 00:14:34,723 --> 00:14:38,091 The point is, I don't need any more surprises. 424 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:41,762 All right, but it's never too late to try something new. 425 00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,363 I think it'd be good for you, Doug. 426 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,364 Douglas. 427 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,632 I think it'd be good for your girls. 428 00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,968 You don't have to go it alone. 429 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,470 I can be your friend, Doug. 430 00:14:49,572 --> 00:14:51,205 Douglas. It's Douglas. 431 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,040 And I don't need any more friends. 432 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,875 The only reason why any of us are here 433 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,443 is so we can get out of volunteering. 434 00:14:56,545 --> 00:14:57,711 Wait, hold on. 435 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,481 Angie, is that true? 436 00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:01,715 Look... 437 00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,218 I told you about Jelly Bean Teen Machine. 438 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,817 Wait. We wanted to help you. 439 00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:09,747 - I mean, we do now. - No, it's fine, honestly. 440 00:15:09,859 --> 00:15:12,426 We're not friends, which is actually a good thing, 441 00:15:12,528 --> 00:15:15,095 'cause now I can admit I didn't throw away the mermaid bag. 442 00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:19,633 I hid it in the petticoat of Barbie B. Anthony! 443 00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:21,935 A man with a mermaid bag. 444 00:15:22,037 --> 00:15:23,103 I blame Obama. 445 00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:25,439 I don't know how to cover up my mush. 446 00:15:25,541 --> 00:15:26,940 But maybe that's not a bad thing. 447 00:15:27,042 --> 00:15:29,743 Maybe you guys could actually use a little bit more mush. 448 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,612 Will, I will hand out tacos. 449 00:15:31,714 --> 00:15:34,014 No. Don't, okay? 450 00:15:34,116 --> 00:15:35,849 It's just disappointing. 451 00:15:35,951 --> 00:15:37,184 I thought I'd finally found a group 452 00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:39,086 that I could share this with. 453 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,954 - It takes a vill... - Don't say it. 454 00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:42,189 It takes a vill... 455 00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:43,223 - Stop! - No, no. 456 00:15:43,325 --> 00:15:44,892 Well, thanks for getting me a date, 457 00:15:44,994 --> 00:15:46,159 which I now have to go on. 458 00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:50,264 Sophie, I'm taking you to Nana's. 459 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,798 It takes a village. Ha, I did it. 460 00:15:53,862 --> 00:15:56,520 Dang, girl. I just love you. 461 00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:58,006 I love you, too, honey. 462 00:15:58,108 --> 00:16:00,128 And also you told me five minutes ago. 463 00:16:00,191 --> 00:16:02,855 No, I was reading over an e-mail to Zoe. 464 00:16:02,948 --> 00:16:04,509 I think it's good. Send. 465 00:16:04,611 --> 00:16:05,977 What? You sent? 466 00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:07,812 You got to put yourself out there. 467 00:16:07,914 --> 00:16:11,416 Will gets it. He told me to go for it. 468 00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:13,284 That was a really fun dinner. 469 00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:14,686 I loved when you looked up from your phone. 470 00:16:14,788 --> 00:16:16,688 But it is good that you got to FaceTime with your sister. 471 00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:18,356 You guys worked through so many issues. 472 00:16:19,459 --> 00:16:20,625 Should we make out now? 473 00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:21,726 Gah. 474 00:16:22,863 --> 00:16:24,929 Mwah. Mwah. Oh, wow, this is happening. 475 00:16:25,031 --> 00:16:26,798 - Take your pants off. - Get these jeans down. 476 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:29,033 There you go. Okay. 477 00:16:29,135 --> 00:16:30,368 Oh. 478 00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:31,803 Oh, the touch of a woman. 479 00:16:31,905 --> 00:16:34,305 I love you. 480 00:16:36,743 --> 00:16:37,742 You what? 481 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,913 Good night. 482 00:16:45,252 --> 00:16:46,784 Oh, my keys. 483 00:16:46,887 --> 00:16:50,154 Heather, please open the door. Please let me in. 484 00:16:50,257 --> 00:16:52,156 I need to come into your apartment. 485 00:16:52,259 --> 00:16:53,291 I'm just a dad who says 486 00:16:53,393 --> 00:16:55,126 "I love you" a thousand times a day, 487 00:16:55,228 --> 00:16:57,462 and that's not a bad thing. 488 00:16:57,564 --> 00:17:00,131 Hi, are you in there? I don't love you. 489 00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:02,300 I'm not even sure I like you. 490 00:17:02,402 --> 00:17:03,601 My keys are inside! 491 00:17:03,703 --> 00:17:05,336 Heather... Will Cooper. 492 00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:08,139 How could you tell Graham to put himself out there? 493 00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:11,476 He's gonna get hurt. Wait, why are you answering? 494 00:17:11,578 --> 00:17:13,144 Aren't you supposed to be on a date? 495 00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:14,445 Well, I let out my mush, 496 00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:17,582 and now there's mush all over this lady's apartment, 497 00:17:17,684 --> 00:17:19,584 and my keys are locked inside. 498 00:17:19,686 --> 00:17:21,085 You guys were right. I can't do this. 499 00:17:21,187 --> 00:17:22,754 But maybe that's a good thing, 500 00:17:22,856 --> 00:17:24,589 because I actually like being single. 501 00:17:24,691 --> 00:17:26,090 It's gonna give me more time to figure out 502 00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:27,425 Sophie's Halloween costume. 503 00:17:27,527 --> 00:17:28,459 She's going as a princess, 504 00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:29,928 but I have to find my own spin on that. 505 00:17:30,030 --> 00:17:31,229 Uh, are those sirens? 506 00:17:31,331 --> 00:17:32,430 Yeah, but they're not for me. 507 00:17:32,532 --> 00:17:34,032 - Sir, don't move. - Oh, they are for me. 508 00:17:34,134 --> 00:17:35,633 Oh... Oh, my God. Will. Will... 509 00:17:35,735 --> 00:17:36,801 - Hello, officers. - Will, what's going on? 510 00:17:36,903 --> 00:17:37,969 Will Cooper. 511 00:17:38,071 --> 00:17:39,270 # That's right, hold it down # 512 00:17:39,372 --> 00:17:42,440 Miggy! Emergency! Get in! 513 00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:45,710 Dude, tell your weird parent friends to stay away. 514 00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:47,712 We got to earn respect on the sneaker line. 515 00:17:55,023 --> 00:17:57,590 So I cut off the skin tag on the green, 516 00:17:57,692 --> 00:17:59,859 and I still managed to make a birdie. 517 00:17:59,961 --> 00:18:02,028 Douglas. 518 00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,429 Will's in trouble. We got to go. 519 00:18:03,531 --> 00:18:05,431 - What, I-I... - I'm the only babysitter you got, 520 00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:07,633 and I'm not afraid to go on strike. 521 00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:12,571 My ex, she's in the Sudan. 522 00:18:12,673 --> 00:18:14,407 She's a human-rights lawyer. She's doing great work, 523 00:18:14,509 --> 00:18:16,142 and... and, you know, I don't fault her for that. 524 00:18:16,244 --> 00:18:19,779 I just... I-I never imagined raising a child on my own, 525 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:25,117 and I think part of me still feels like she's coming back. 526 00:18:25,219 --> 00:18:27,753 Dude, she's not coming back. 527 00:18:30,091 --> 00:18:33,893 We all got left, but we're not alone. 528 00:18:35,163 --> 00:18:37,496 Officers, let him go. He's not dangerous. 529 00:18:37,598 --> 00:18:38,931 Look at his shoes. He's wearing Keds. 530 00:18:39,033 --> 00:18:40,633 His Keds are not the issue, ma'am. 531 00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:41,801 But they are an issue. 532 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,135 Look, he didn't hurt anyone. 533 00:18:43,237 --> 00:18:44,970 Let's forget about this, officers. 534 00:18:45,073 --> 00:18:46,739 Go ahead. Get yourself something nice. 535 00:18:46,841 --> 00:18:47,840 I know what you make. 536 00:18:47,942 --> 00:18:49,842 Sir, put the money away. You, come with us. 537 00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:51,677 I... I'm so sorry. 538 00:18:52,713 --> 00:18:54,780 Sophie, hey. 539 00:18:54,882 --> 00:19:00,586 Dad, I know I said I didn't need the song anymore, but... 540 00:19:00,688 --> 00:19:02,888 Of course. 541 00:19:04,592 --> 00:19:09,161 # I've been staring at the edge of the water # 542 00:19:09,263 --> 00:19:11,931 # Long as I can remember # 543 00:19:12,033 --> 00:19:16,335 # Never really knowing why # 544 00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:22,007 # I wish I could be the perfect daughter # 545 00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:24,677 # But I go back to the water # 546 00:19:24,779 --> 00:19:29,348 # No matter how hard I try # 547 00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:32,351 # See the line where the sky meets the sea # 548 00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:34,720 # It calls me # 549 00:19:34,822 --> 00:19:38,224 # And no one knows # 550 00:19:38,326 --> 00:19:41,644 # How far it goes # 551 00:19:41,698 --> 00:19:42,695 I knew it. 552 00:19:42,797 --> 00:19:45,197 - # What's beyond that line? Will I cross that line? # - He knows all the words. 553 00:19:45,299 --> 00:19:48,033 - # The line where the sky meets the sea # - That beautiful bastard. 554 00:19:48,136 --> 00:19:50,870 # It calls me # 555 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:54,039 - # And no one knows # - Rory, would you like to dance? 556 00:19:54,142 --> 00:19:57,309 - # How far it goes # - The answer is always yes. 557 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,580 - # If the wind in my sail on the sea # - Hey. 558 00:19:59,674 --> 00:20:02,268 # Stays behind me # 559 00:20:02,316 --> 00:20:05,362 - # One day I'll know # - You're looking so good, Rory! 560 00:20:05,424 --> 00:20:06,979 - # How far I'll go # - Whoo! 561 00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,321 - Go, baby! - Whoo-hoo! 562 00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:15,297 What's happening? Who are these people? 563 00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:19,098 They're my village. 564 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,267 - No, boo. - You ruined it. 565 00:20:21,369 --> 00:20:23,481 Dad, you've got to tighten up. 566 00:20:26,038 --> 00:20:29,299 Mwah. Look at you not asking for a scarf. 567 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,308 Soph. 568 00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:33,645 - No weakness! - Yes. Ow. 569 00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:35,146 - Rory. - Douglas. 570 00:20:35,248 --> 00:20:38,551 Rock, squat, pause. Rock, squat, pause. 571 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,550 - The... The pause is a bounce. - Oh, a bounce. 572 00:20:39,653 --> 00:20:42,553 Guys. Zoe. She's going for Graham. 573 00:20:42,656 --> 00:20:45,521 Don't let the bunny ears fool you. She's a cold-blooded killer! 574 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:46,899 Hey, hey, hey, hang on. 575 00:20:46,993 --> 00:20:48,393 He's got this. 576 00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:50,217 I got your e-mail. 577 00:20:51,687 --> 00:20:53,954 It shook me to my core. 578 00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:03,530 She likes him. 579 00:21:03,632 --> 00:21:07,100 That Easter freak likes my kid! 580 00:21:07,202 --> 00:21:10,363 Aww, and they're sharing gum. That's huge. 581 00:21:10,442 --> 00:21:11,785 - It's gross. - It is gross. 582 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:13,111 But it's... it's huge. 583 00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:15,942 I told you. Mush works. 584 00:21:16,044 --> 00:21:18,612 And from now on, I will eat at restaurants 585 00:21:18,714 --> 00:21:20,436 - that don't give out crayons. - Whoo! 586 00:21:20,522 --> 00:21:21,911 - Yeah! - I'm gonna maybe start 587 00:21:21,936 --> 00:21:24,061 drinking coffee after 4:00 p.m. 588 00:21:24,086 --> 00:21:25,185 - Whoo! - Sounds fine. 589 00:21:25,287 --> 00:21:27,387 I am out of the vortex! 590 00:21:27,489 --> 00:21:28,855 - Yeah! - Yeah! 591 00:21:28,957 --> 00:21:30,223 Okay. 592 00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:32,058 Don't go up the slide. 593 00:21:32,161 --> 00:21:33,827 He's a long way from sex. 594 00:21:33,929 --> 00:21:36,259 I am out of the vortex! 595 00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,498 I watched a guy get crushed by a forklift, 596 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,205 - but this is worse. - Word. 597 00:21:40,267 --> 00:21:41,835 Third time's the charm. 598 00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,092 I'm out of the vortex!