1 00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:05,283 No. 2 00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:07,385 ha pasado un año ya? 3 00:00:07,420 --> 00:00:10,455 eres una vieja y grande bandera, eres una bandera que vuela alto 4 00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:13,958 y por siempre saludes en paz 5 00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:16,195 amamos el cuatro de julio 6 00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:17,430 es la festividad perfecta 7 00:00:17,465 --> 00:00:21,133 puedes cocinar afuera, soplar cosas y usar shorts 8 00:00:21,169 --> 00:00:22,601 pascua deberia tomar nota 9 00:00:22,637 --> 00:00:26,639 mantén tus ojos en la gran bandera 10 00:00:26,674 --> 00:00:28,340 tomo mas tiempo de lo que recordaba 11 00:00:29,477 --> 00:00:30,876 hola? 12 00:00:30,912 --> 00:00:34,580 Joe, agradece que vives en este pais 13 00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:38,083 pase mi niñez en banana republic 14 00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:40,986 era la unica tienda en la villa que tenia aire acondicionado 15 00:00:41,143 --> 00:00:42,776 Si, señor presidente 16 00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:45,012 Si, señor, seria un honor, señor, gracias. 17 00:00:45,047 --> 00:00:46,780 grandiosas noticias 18 00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:49,249 el gran mariscal para el desfile de hoy fue metood 19 00:00:49,285 --> 00:00:50,617 y necesitan que yo encaje 20 00:00:50,653 --> 00:00:53,553 Jay, estoy tan feliz por ti! 21 00:00:53,589 --> 00:00:55,789 So, now the only thing left on your bucket list 22 00:00:55,824 --> 00:00:57,924 is to bare-knuckle fight a Russian! 23 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,392 Ay! 24 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,561 And Manny's gonna be back home 25 00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,764 from his big road trip just in time for the parade. 26 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,133 He's been gone for so long. I can't wait to see him. 27 00:01:07,169 --> 00:01:08,268 That's great! 28 00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:10,003 We'll have the whole family back together with me 29 00:01:10,038 --> 00:01:12,038 to ride in the convertible LeBaron. 30 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,920 Joe, how's your parade wave? 31 00:01:14,176 --> 00:01:15,575 We'll work on it. 32 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,076 ⪠Every heart beats true ⪠33 00:01:17,112 --> 00:01:18,511 ⪠For the red, white, and blue ⪠34 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:19,979 ⪠Where there's never a... ⪠35 00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:25,015 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 36 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,361 More! 37 00:01:37,132 --> 00:01:39,699 Yeah. I've got time to help you. 38 00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:41,601 Look at your cousin being so sweet 39 00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:42,869 and helping out a friend. 40 00:01:42,904 --> 00:01:46,639 Such a weak little coward. Are we done yet? 41 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,175 No. It's a really big bridge. 42 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,477 Or maybe you're just a really tiny man. 43 00:01:52,747 --> 00:01:54,680 Things were going great on my cross-country drive 44 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,415 until I fell behind schedule 45 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:59,018 after I developed a perfectly rational, fact-based fear 46 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:01,532 of driving over bridges. 47 00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:03,589 I called Cam for support since he taught driver's ed, 48 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,025 - but he wasn't around. - What? 49 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,593 Turns out a strong verbal lashing 50 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,162 was exactly what I needed to get me across that bridge 51 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,832 and the many others that cover this country like a cancer. 52 00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,968 Okay, Cal. Let's say hi to Mommy. 53 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,303 - Say, "Hi, Mommy!" - Whoa, whoa. 54 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,672 if I'm in that shot, back up a-and turn the lights down. 55 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,007 We had Chinese food last night. I look like a blowfish. 56 00:02:22,043 --> 00:02:23,809 Okay, you know what, Mitchell? It's not about you. 57 00:02:23,845 --> 00:02:26,479 I promised we would send a video of Cal 58 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,747 to my sister for her birthday, 59 00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,717 and that was a week ago, so we got to get it done. 60 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,321 We have been watching my big-for-his-age nephew Cal 61 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,822 while my sister Pameron is... 62 00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,791 is back in Missouri paying off a little debt. 63 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,192 To society. She's in prison. 64 00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,627 For a tiny parole violation. 65 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,928 She tried something on in a store 66 00:02:42,964 --> 00:02:44,063 and accidentally walked out. 67 00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,664 It was another woman's purse. 68 00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:47,233 The silver lining is, 69 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,503 Cal is benefiting from our parenting experience. 70 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,872 Mitchell is molding young Cal's brain 71 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,541 while I handle the young boy's body. 72 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,042 It's a miracle we're not in prison. 73 00:02:57,078 --> 00:02:58,177 Yeah. 74 00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,913 Okay, let's sing the alphabet for Mommy. 75 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,581 Come on, you and I worked on this. 76 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,384 6! 77 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,319 You know, I think I put so much information in there, 78 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,854 it's getting jumbled up on the way out. 79 00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:10,389 Well, let's... let's do some of your stuff. 80 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,457 Throw him a ball or something. 81 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,425 Okay, yeah. That's a great idea. 82 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,427 Okay, on the count of 3, Cal. 83 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,763 Are you ready? 1, 2, 3! 84 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,265 Okay. 85 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,699 All right, um... well, hugs! 86 00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:22,835 Hey, how about a hug? 87 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,538 Aww. He is such a good hugger. 88 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,605 Okay, here's the thing... 89 00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:28,274 football camp started when Cal came. 90 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,441 Then I was laid up 91 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,343 because of that dinner at Absolutely Crabulous. 92 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,079 Well, don't worry. I've been slacking on my end, too. 93 00:03:34,115 --> 00:03:36,682 Yeah, but I've been telling Pam that Cal is thriving here. 94 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,718 We can't send her a video of him reciting his AB6s! 95 00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:42,955 - I wonder... - Go on. I'm in. 96 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,990 Is it possible to shoot him in a way 97 00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,892 that makes him look better than he is? 98 00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,794 Honey, are you kidding? Vin Diesel's a movie star. 99 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,062 Anything's possible with editing. 100 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,667 What do you got there? 101 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,202 Just choosing some classes for college. 102 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,737 This one looks interesting. 103 00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:01,974 "In this intensive"... Nope. 104 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,543 Drop that! 105 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,211 Game day, buddy. 106 00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,614 For the first time ever, Luke and I are taking part 107 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,517 in the sport of kings, the savory science. 108 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,019 We're teamed in a parent/child hot-dog-eating contest. 109 00:04:14,055 --> 00:04:16,121 We've been training for weeks, and I'm proud to say that Luke, 110 00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:19,491 like his old man, is blessed with a dogger's mouth. 111 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,327 I felt something tear inside. 112 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,728 Push through it. 113 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,197 You'll thank me when you start to feel the gorger's high. 114 00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,503 Aah! What the hell?! 115 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,305 Is the hot dog making you angry? 116 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:36,075 An angry stomach is 12% larger. Boo! 117 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,710 I think we've got a real shot 118 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,612 to take down Rhonda and Thandie Hodak. 119 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,846 But they're undefeated. 120 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,082 I guess that makes us "under-dogs." 121 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,484 How long you been sitting on that one? 122 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,686 Not as long as you've been sitting on that couch. 123 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:48,854 Hey, hey. 124 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,422 Can I get in on that floor bagel? 125 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,425 Alex decided to take off some time earlier this summer, 126 00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,494 and, like everything else she does, 127 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,129 she did it a little too well. 128 00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:01,133 Who's there? Did you bring food? 129 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,735 Tomatoes. 130 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,937 But they won't be ready for six weeks. 131 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,305 You have a backup? 132 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,773 Well, I fell asleep on my phone, 133 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,175 and I think my face ordered another one. 134 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,178 You know, do you want to join me? 135 00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,480 You go back to work in a few weeks. 136 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,281 You'll regret it if you don't relax a little. 137 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,217 Okay. Sure. 138 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,519 The... This can wait 10 minutes 139 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,989 until I get him into the ground, right? 140 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,393 Can you scratch my nose? I feel like you're closer. 141 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,861 Okay, up on the table 142 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,797 for a little stomach massage and heckler prep. 143 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,033 Hey, gals, things haven't been going that great 144 00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,934 between me and Arvin, and he's stopping by 145 00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,970 to say goodbye before leaving for Switzerland. 146 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,371 Could you take off the onesies 147 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,640 and make it look like we don't live in an insane asylum? 148 00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:44,543 You suck! You eat like a moron! 149 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,912 My God! It's like you want Arvin 150 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,381 to throw his return ticket off an Alp! 151 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,450 No wonder she's so stressed. 152 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,419 She's wearing, like, a seven-sie. 153 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,158 Haley. Fancy meeting you here. 154 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,326 Wait, why? I-I live here. 155 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,896 No, I-I know. I was... I was making a joke. 156 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,064 It was stupid. 157 00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,066 No, it... it wasn't stupid. It was funny. 158 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,233 Well, you didn't laugh. 159 00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:10,469 Well, do it again. I'll laugh this time. 160 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:11,870 I'd rather not. 161 00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:14,073 Sorry. I'm just, um, a little... 162 00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,494 I'm really nervous, and I feel like this goodbye 163 00:06:17,529 --> 00:06:18,762 has so much pressure on it. 164 00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:21,543 So let's just relax and be with each other. 165 00:06:22,777 --> 00:06:23,909 I actually have to go. 166 00:06:23,945 --> 00:06:26,312 No, seriously. 167 00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:28,080 I misread my itinerary, 168 00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:30,282 and I have to get to the airport. 169 00:06:30,317 --> 00:06:32,184 No! So, this is it? 170 00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:33,752 This is goodbye? 171 00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:35,420 I'm afraid so. 172 00:06:35,456 --> 00:06:36,488 I'm gonna miss you. 173 00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:37,623 I'll miss you, too. 174 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,458 Aww. 175 00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:41,260 That's my car. I should probably... 176 00:06:41,295 --> 00:06:43,028 Okay. 177 00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:46,077 Well... goodbye, Haley. 178 00:06:50,604 --> 00:06:51,937 Love you. 179 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,745 Love you, too. 180 00:06:58,411 --> 00:06:59,411 Is he gone? 181 00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:01,980 - Yeah? - Good. 182 00:07:02,015 --> 00:07:03,615 No one wants old fuddy-duddy dad 183 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,150 ruining the big romantic moment. 184 00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:07,252 I'll be upstairs hiding in Luke's closet. 185 00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:12,499 All right. There we go, Cal. Chew the peanut butter. 186 00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:14,377 See? Now, with editing, we can make it look like 187 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:15,645 he's saying anything we want... 188 00:07:15,681 --> 00:07:17,948 numbers, the alphabet, a joke about Jewish people. 189 00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:19,000 Pam loves those. 190 00:07:19,236 --> 00:07:20,702 Movie tricks come easy to me... 191 00:07:20,737 --> 00:07:22,971 you know, clowns being naturals at deception. 192 00:07:23,006 --> 00:07:25,306 It's true... a couple months into dating, 193 00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:26,775 Cam told me he was a clown, 194 00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:28,443 did a little performance for me, 195 00:07:28,478 --> 00:07:30,178 and I... I did feel deceived. 196 00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:33,681 Okay, now, when I say "action," 197 00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:35,549 Cal's gonna throw me the ball. 198 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,751 You're gonna walk backwards, 199 00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:38,252 and then in editing, I'll reverse it 200 00:07:38,287 --> 00:07:39,854 to make it look like Cal's catching the ball 201 00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:41,088 and you're walking normally. 202 00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,423 Why am I even in it at all? 203 00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,558 Remind me of something, Mitchell... is the best art made 204 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:48,161 by a million voices chiming in or one man with a single vision? 205 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,370 Okay, and we lay in the piano later. 206 00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:56,608 ⪠Twinkle, twinkle, little star ⪠207 00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:01,005 ⪠How I wonder what you are ⪠208 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,462 - I have to pee! - He has to pee. 209 00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:03,548 - Okay, he has to pee. - Yep. 210 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,306 All right. Take five! 211 00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:07,578 Lily, this is our first cut, 212 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,547 so if you see anything wonky, let us know. 213 00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:15,119 Hello, Mommy. 214 00:08:15,154 --> 00:08:16,587 Happy birthday. 215 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,556 1 plus 1 is 2. 216 00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:21,325 Simple math. 217 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,556 I can catch a ball. 218 00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,131 How'd you miss the cat? 219 00:08:28,188 --> 00:08:30,288 I didn't. That take was your best walk. 220 00:08:35,796 --> 00:08:37,963 That is gold. 221 00:08:44,796 --> 00:08:46,262 Why the giant bottle of wine? 222 00:08:46,297 --> 00:08:48,898 It's for perspective, and nobody's asking that question. 223 00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:51,367 - Didn't I just ask it? - Cam. 224 00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:53,636 Yeah, I know. It's certified rotten. 225 00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:01,210 Luke. 226 00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:03,543 He's only getting 1/3 of the dog on his first bite. 227 00:09:03,578 --> 00:09:05,545 Anything less than half, and you're playing for second. 228 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:09,249 Well, the good news is, the Fourth is weeks away. 229 00:09:09,284 --> 00:09:10,450 Um... 230 00:09:10,485 --> 00:09:12,952 it's... it's today. 231 00:09:12,988 --> 00:09:15,121 Toda... June...? 232 00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:16,789 Yeah... gone. 233 00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:21,580 There you are! It's almost time for our show. 234 00:09:21,616 --> 00:09:23,816 - Wait... what are you wearing? - Clothes? 235 00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:24,950 I got to get back into school mode 236 00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,585 before I lose my edge. 237 00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:28,254 Mom, you might want to think about rejoining life 238 00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:30,089 before your brain freezes, too. 239 00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:32,024 Yeah, don't you worry about... 240 00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,092 me. 241 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,695 What's that? 242 00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:38,564 Um... 243 00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:39,698 Listen. 244 00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,602 No dad wants to have this talk with his son, but... 245 00:09:43,638 --> 00:09:45,538 you're just not eating enough hot dogs. 246 00:09:45,606 --> 00:09:47,306 I'm sorry. 247 00:09:47,341 --> 00:09:50,309 For some reason, I just... I can't focus. 248 00:09:50,876 --> 00:09:52,810 I think what Luke is trying to say is, 249 00:09:52,845 --> 00:09:54,044 he's too old for this contest 250 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,980 and he doesn't have the heart to tell you. 251 00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:58,582 That's impossible. I'm an adult. I'm still super into it. 252 00:09:58,618 --> 00:10:01,952 Yeah. My 20s should be my prime hot-dog-eating years. 253 00:10:01,988 --> 00:10:03,721 That was just my first attempt. 254 00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,589 I'm gonna figure this out. Hang on. 255 00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:09,126 Despite what Alex says, I have not lost my edge. 256 00:10:09,161 --> 00:10:11,161 Something just clicked. 257 00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:14,125 Fine. You're right... it's college. 258 00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:15,327 - It is? - Yeah. 259 00:10:15,362 --> 00:10:17,128 I'm distracted because I'm feeling some pressure 260 00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:18,863 on which classes to take. 261 00:10:18,899 --> 00:10:21,132 But don't worry. I'm gonna figure it out. 262 00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:25,036 Wow. How could you tell? 263 00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:28,567 I'm just a... perceptive guy. 264 00:10:28,602 --> 00:10:30,736 I wasn't talking about Luke. The clicking was in my jaw. 265 00:10:30,771 --> 00:10:33,739 My old TMJ injury was back, thanks to all the training. 266 00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:35,641 I got it in college when I bet my roommate 267 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,477 I could out-Frisbee-catch his golden retriever. 268 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,379 And guess who wo... Aah! 269 00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:43,904 Aw. 270 00:10:43,939 --> 00:10:45,705 Arvin and I had the worst goodbye. 271 00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:48,175 It's been such a weird past couple months. 272 00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,309 That long? 273 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,244 It feels like it all started in the hospital, 274 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,445 after I told him I loved him. 275 00:10:52,481 --> 00:10:53,680 There you go. 276 00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:55,348 That's it. You pressured him. 277 00:10:55,384 --> 00:10:57,350 - Too much, too soon. - Maybe. 278 00:10:57,386 --> 00:10:59,286 Something's not lining up. 279 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,426 Okay, you're right. 280 00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:02,561 Seriously?! 281 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,097 Something happened in the hospital while Arvin was gone. 282 00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:08,534 Lost again? 283 00:11:08,569 --> 00:11:10,869 No. This time, I meant to come back. 284 00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,704 I have some pretty big news. 285 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,073 You should probably be sitting for this. 286 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,241 O...kay. 287 00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:24,073 I lied. 288 00:11:24,109 --> 00:11:25,742 I'm not married anymore. 289 00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,677 My wife left me for her ex-husband. 290 00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,145 I'm a divorcé. 291 00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:31,581 Why are you telling me this? 292 00:11:31,616 --> 00:11:34,283 Because I'm back in town, I'm going to nursing school, 293 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,352 and we might run into each other. 294 00:11:36,388 --> 00:11:37,787 I don't want to spend the rest of my life 295 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,722 pretending my wife is in the bathroom. 296 00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:42,859 Yeah, I would start to worry about her after a while. 297 00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:44,827 Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out. 298 00:11:45,374 --> 00:11:48,275 It's okay. I don't think we ever really got each other. 299 00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,844 Like, you know how when you and I used to go to concerts, 300 00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:53,479 we used to just look at each other and know... 301 00:11:53,499 --> 00:11:55,098 It was time for me to get on your shoulders 302 00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:56,266 and throw my bra at the drummer. 303 00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:57,367 Yeah. 304 00:11:57,403 --> 00:11:59,336 Like, you probably have that with Arvin, right? 305 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:00,871 - Definitely. - That's awesome. 306 00:12:00,906 --> 00:12:01,938 With my wife, 307 00:12:01,974 --> 00:12:05,475 she's pretty and smart and a doctor. 308 00:12:05,785 --> 00:12:07,518 But if you're always telling yourself 309 00:12:07,553 --> 00:12:08,719 how lucky you are, 310 00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,821 it's probably because you're afraid to ask yourself 311 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,056 how happy you are. 312 00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:13,824 Right? 313 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,893 I brought ice chips. 314 00:12:15,928 --> 00:12:18,829 Or are they ice fries here? 315 00:12:19,932 --> 00:12:21,498 Ha. 316 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,317 I can't believe Dylan got into my head. 317 00:12:25,352 --> 00:12:27,319 I can't believe he got into nursing school. 318 00:12:30,557 --> 00:12:31,790 That's the biggest one they got? 319 00:12:31,825 --> 00:12:34,392 Yes, and I'm not going back again. 320 00:12:34,678 --> 00:12:36,711 Have you seen Manny? I've been looking all over for him. 321 00:12:36,746 --> 00:12:37,912 I don't see him. 322 00:12:37,947 --> 00:12:40,281 I've been here, ?busy inspecting the troops. 323 00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:42,417 Young lady, could you straighten that hat? 324 00:12:42,452 --> 00:12:44,585 Sir, that... that horn could use a shine. 325 00:12:44,621 --> 00:12:45,820 Haircut. 326 00:12:45,855 --> 00:12:47,755 Gloria, if this goes well, in a couple of months, 327 00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,457 I'll be lighting the town Christmas tree. 328 00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:51,626 - Take that, Dad! - You know what is weird? 329 00:12:51,661 --> 00:12:54,162 After so many years at Carnaval, 330 00:12:54,197 --> 00:12:56,731 to be at a parade with people fully dressed. 331 00:12:56,766 --> 00:12:58,232 Gloria, focus. 332 00:12:58,268 --> 00:12:59,867 You've got a big role in this. 333 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,881 After I cut the ribbon, it's your job to fire off the cannon. 334 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,050 That's the signal for everybody to start marching. 335 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:08,253 But isn't the grand marshal's job to fire the cannon? 336 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,588 So the ribbon cuts itself? 337 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,256 Gloria, what you don't know about parades... 338 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,357 Wait, wait. 339 00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:14,926 Papi! Hello. 340 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,195 Are you coming? The parade is about to start. 341 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,197 Hey! Jay! 342 00:13:19,555 --> 00:13:20,687 Hey, Tom! How's it going? 343 00:13:20,723 --> 00:13:23,790 Great, actually. My wife and I, we're back together. 344 00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:26,593 I... Well, not exactly. I mean, we're going on dates. 345 00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:27,861 - We're hoping to recapture... - Yeah, yeah. 346 00:13:27,896 --> 00:13:29,062 I want to hear all about it, 347 00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:31,064 but I think the local paper needs a photo. 348 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,532 O-Of course. Yeah. 349 00:13:32,568 --> 00:13:33,934 Gloria, get in the shot. 350 00:13:33,969 --> 00:13:36,203 Gloria. 351 00:13:36,238 --> 00:13:39,072 But you promised that you were going to come. 352 00:13:39,108 --> 00:13:40,807 Just shoot. No, go ahead... shoot it. 353 00:13:40,843 --> 00:13:42,476 What? Okay. 354 00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:43,610 No, no, not yet! 355 00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:49,483 Damn it, Gloria! It's not cutting! 356 00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:50,851 These aren't lefties! 357 00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:55,227 Grand-marshal. Take that, Grandpa! 358 00:13:55,262 --> 00:13:56,662 You must be on top of the world. 359 00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,034 Well, I'm putting on a brave face 360 00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,669 for the good of the country, but the truth is, 361 00:13:59,704 --> 00:14:01,404 we did not get off to a great start. 362 00:14:01,439 --> 00:14:03,206 Gloria is not on her game today, 363 00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:04,307 and I'm afraid she's gonna forget 364 00:14:04,342 --> 00:14:06,609 to lead the standing ovation after my speech. 365 00:14:06,983 --> 00:14:08,883 In fact, I'm tagging you in. 366 00:14:08,918 --> 00:14:10,918 Your cue is "pursuit of happiness." 367 00:14:10,953 --> 00:14:12,820 And if you could sell it, a "bravo" would be nice. 368 00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,089 Okay. I-I know what's wrong with Gloria. 369 00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:17,158 This is a big day for you, and she's feeling left out. 370 00:14:17,193 --> 00:14:18,225 No, that's not it. 371 00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:19,293 Damn it. 372 00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:21,350 You're not getting here till tomorrow? 373 00:14:21,386 --> 00:14:24,020 How does your name even have the word "man" in it? 374 00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,087 Something just clicked. 375 00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,489 - Jaw trouble? - No! 376 00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:29,592 She was just on with Manny, who's not coming. 377 00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,795 Don't Gloria and Manny have some Fourth of July tradition? 378 00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,120 Come to think of it, 379 00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:36,222 they share a slice of apple pie and watch the fireworks. 380 00:14:36,257 --> 00:14:38,491 They've been doing that every year since he was born! 381 00:14:38,526 --> 00:14:42,128 Until this year, which is why Gloria is upset. 382 00:14:42,163 --> 00:14:43,295 - Yes! - You're right! 383 00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,830 I let the sash go to my head. 384 00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:46,098 I never should have brought it! 385 00:14:46,134 --> 00:14:47,533 I can help you out, 386 00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:49,435 but you're gonna have to give up on your little speech thing. 387 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,404 Hey, kid. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where'd you get the fireworks? 388 00:14:51,439 --> 00:14:53,606 - You a cop? - Co... 389 00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:55,608 There's a stand in the grocery store parking lot. 390 00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,109 But he's closing up. 391 00:14:57,593 --> 00:14:59,226 You get the fireworks and the apple pie. 392 00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:00,560 I will take care of Manny. 393 00:15:00,596 --> 00:15:02,496 I am back. I am really back! 394 00:15:02,531 --> 00:15:03,630 My car's blocked in. 395 00:15:03,665 --> 00:15:04,965 All this traffic, I'll never make it. 396 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,233 Look at that... right there. 397 00:15:07,302 --> 00:15:09,102 Check out! I'm a Shriner. 398 00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:11,504 Cool! Listen, I need to borrow your car. 399 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,744 It's kind of an emergency. 400 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,712 But my dad's excited to see me in the parade. 401 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,080 He was a Tuskegee Airman. 402 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,082 Maybe the minute you stop trying so hard 403 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,717 is the minute he'll start loving you. 404 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,419 Now hop out of there and go clear a path for me 405 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,720 through those lawn chairs. 406 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,489 - Come on. I'll help you out. - But...I don't... 407 00:15:26,414 --> 00:15:28,547 How about this one, okay? 408 00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,149 Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll be good at this. 409 00:15:30,184 --> 00:15:32,284 Okay, don't you think this is a little hateful... 410 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,320 - waterboarding a clown for a prize? - Come on. 411 00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:36,121 You guys spray each other with seltzer all the time. 412 00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:37,490 That's between two consenting clowns. 413 00:15:37,525 --> 00:15:39,859 All right, one second. Let's get this. 414 00:15:39,894 --> 00:15:41,660 Okay, go ahead. Okay. 415 00:15:41,696 --> 00:15:44,263 - No. No. Wrong way, wrong way. - Okay, all right, you got to... 416 00:15:44,298 --> 00:15:45,986 - Okay, it's fine. - You know what? 417 00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:49,502 Maybe it's just time we admit to Pam we haven't taught him a thing. 418 00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:52,270 You know, I just... I don't want to let him down. 419 00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:54,926 I-I've come to really enjoy having him around. 420 00:15:54,961 --> 00:15:56,394 I know, I know. Me too. 421 00:15:56,429 --> 00:15:58,129 But it's not like we're bad at parenting. 422 00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,798 I mean, Lily turned out to be a smart, sensitive little girl. 423 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,434 You're a disgrace to this family! 424 00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:05,870 I don't think you heard me. I'm over the bridge. 425 00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,139 I know. Now we're just catching up. 426 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,008 Sorry I didn't win. 427 00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,377 No, no, no. You don't have to apologize, okay? 428 00:16:12,412 --> 00:16:13,545 No, no, you did just great. 429 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:16,013 We're the ones who need to do better. 430 00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:18,064 And you know what? You give great hugs. 431 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,966 Hey. We taught him that. 432 00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:22,318 Well, too bad it isn't exactly a skill. 433 00:16:22,353 --> 00:16:23,970 Yeah. Or is it? 434 00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,873 Mutton busting?! 435 00:16:26,908 --> 00:16:27,974 Why? What is that? 436 00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,610 It's a sheep rodeo for kids. 437 00:16:30,646 --> 00:16:32,579 It's like you didn't even have a childhood. 438 00:16:32,614 --> 00:16:34,047 Come on! 439 00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:37,250 The hot dog contest is about to begin. 440 00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:38,845 Sorry I'm not in worse shape for this. 441 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,381 Don't worry about it, buddy. You've had a lot on your mind. 442 00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,116 Any luck choosing your courses? 443 00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:44,317 Not yet. 444 00:16:44,352 --> 00:16:46,386 I don't really want ?to talk about that right now. 445 00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:48,021 Maybe you're putting too much pressure on... 446 00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:49,956 It's more than just picking classes, okay? 447 00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:52,091 Can we just drop it and focus on what we're doing here? 448 00:16:52,127 --> 00:16:53,993 Yeah. Of course. 449 00:16:58,325 --> 00:17:00,091 Exciting to be in the competition? 450 00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:02,561 Instead of sitting up in the bleachers, like the last three years? 451 00:17:02,596 --> 00:17:03,728 I guess. 452 00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,664 Scary, sure, but it does feel good 453 00:17:05,699 --> 00:17:07,265 putting our butts on the line. 454 00:17:07,301 --> 00:17:08,466 You lose 100% 455 00:17:08,502 --> 00:17:10,368 of the hot-dog-eating contests you don't enter. 456 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,270 Dad, I know what your bumper sticker is, 457 00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:14,105 and I know what you're trying to do here. 458 00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:15,540 But college is different. 459 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,543 I mean, you screw up at community college, you're out of options. 460 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,136 You're not gonna screw it up. 461 00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:22,772 I've messed up a lot of things in my life. 462 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,140 I'm scared I'll do it again. 463 00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,942 - Good. - What? 464 00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:27,210 Being scared means you care. 465 00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:30,547 Maybe... Maybe that's what's been missing in the past. 466 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,415 It's the biggest thing I've ever tried to do. 467 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,651 Contestants, ready position. 468 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:36,252 Just take it one step at a time. 469 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,022 Don't worry about the 50 to hopefully 75 hot dogs 470 00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:40,089 you're gonna eat. 471 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,925 Just worry about the dog in front of you. 472 00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,098 And wet the buns. 473 00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:46,266 Eat! 474 00:17:48,370 --> 00:17:49,936 Are we sure this is safe? My gosh, yes. 475 00:17:49,972 --> 00:17:51,271 The kids love it, the sheep love it. 476 00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:54,007 And I'm pretty sure it's too late. 477 00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:56,676 - Whoa! - Hang on, Cal! Keep hugging! 478 00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:58,445 My gosh. Pam is gonna be so excited. 479 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,447 He's already busting at a first-grade level. 480 00:18:03,718 --> 00:18:06,152 Better get an X-ray. You got trampled pretty bad. 481 00:18:06,187 --> 00:18:08,121 Looks like that ankle's broken. 482 00:18:09,691 --> 00:18:10,890 Really, Jerry? 483 00:18:12,227 --> 00:18:14,260 Haley? What are you doing here? 484 00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:16,142 Well, you tweeted you were working, 485 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,911 the water tower's in the back of your Instagram story, 486 00:18:17,946 --> 00:18:19,045 and you just left a Yelp rating 487 00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:20,347 for that falafel place around the corner, 488 00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:21,548 so I figured out where you were. 489 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:23,583 Could you please stop being so obsessed with me? 490 00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,684 Wait... what? 491 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,719 That thing that you said at the hospital? 492 00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,858 How if a person felt lucky to be in a relationship, 493 00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,526 that means that they couldn't really be happy? 494 00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:31,928 Obviously, you did that 495 00:18:31,963 --> 00:18:33,363 to try and ruin what I have with Arvin, 496 00:18:33,398 --> 00:18:35,131 because you're not over me. 497 00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,933 I seriously don't know whether to laugh 498 00:18:36,968 --> 00:18:39,102 or check you for a spider bite. 499 00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,937 I'm sorry that you're questioning your relationship, 500 00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:42,038 but it's not my fault. 501 00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:43,740 Just admit it! 502 00:18:43,775 --> 00:18:46,009 You said that to try and get back with me. 503 00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:48,744 Look, in my heart of hearts... 504 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:51,013 which does not exist, by the way... 505 00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:53,849 yeah, I still think about us. We were great. 506 00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:55,818 - Aha! - Nuh-ha! 507 00:18:55,853 --> 00:18:57,186 You're the one who drove across town, 508 00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,787 paid $12 for parking 509 00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:01,523 and then an additional $2 for the yellow wristband 510 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:04,259 for beer and medical tent access. 511 00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:06,496 It sounds like you're the one who's into me. 512 00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:07,965 You're crazy. 513 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,633 There's no crime in wondering 514 00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:11,702 if we might still be good together. 515 00:19:11,737 --> 00:19:14,404 I still see us together in my mind's eye... 516 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,540 - which, by the way, doesn't exist. - I can't hear it again. 517 00:19:18,777 --> 00:19:20,577 Diagnosis... nothing. 518 00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:31,620 How was the parade? 519 00:19:31,656 --> 00:19:33,289 I had something more important to do. 520 00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:34,490 Apple pie? 521 00:19:34,525 --> 00:19:36,392 I got a few weird looks at the drive-through, 522 00:19:36,427 --> 00:19:40,229 but it was worth it to help keep your tradition alive. 523 00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:42,030 You mean Manny and me? 524 00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,847 It's not gonna happen, because... 525 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,315 I've got that covered, too. 526 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,752 ⪠Ta-da! ⪠527 00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,820 Hi, Mom! I miss you! 528 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,289 Jay! That's perfect! 529 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,623 It's not perfect yet. 530 00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,994 Should we really give the dangerous job 531 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,196 to my only smart one? 532 00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:02,032 ⪠533 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,804 Happy Fourth of July, Papi! 534 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,006 I'll be home soon... before you know it. 535 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,241 "Thomas Jefferson, 536 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,243 who was sort of the grand marshal of his time, 537 00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,912 believed this country should be a place where people are free 538 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,615 to pursue happiness and a better life, 539 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:22,519 where we can set our sights on the stars 540 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,487 and, with hard work and determination... 541 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,191 ...make the impossible a reality. 542 00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:29,326 No! 543 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,795 Because Americans don't run from challenges. 544 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,096 We embrace them. 545 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,233 God bless America. 546 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,336 Hold for applause." 547 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,904 That would've killed, right? 548 00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:42,472 Bravo! 549 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:45,141 You know, I gave up a lot today. You could mean it. 550 00:20:47,357 --> 00:20:49,729 Never too early to start training for next year! 551 00:20:49,754 --> 00:20:51,769 Let's loosen up first with some exercises. 552 00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:55,327 Lamalick. Dizzy Gillespie. Tiffy pop it. 553 00:20:55,352 --> 00:20:56,764 Hold it. 554 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,285 - And out. Tiffy... - Dad, I don't think I can ever eat 555 00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:00,508 another hot dog again. 556 00:21:01,228 --> 00:21:02,942 Yeah, I thought you might feel this way. 557 00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:05,898 - Hey, you there? - What? 558 00:21:05,923 --> 00:21:08,440 We're having some trouble getting these bad boys down. 559 00:21:08,465 --> 00:21:10,664 I'm not surprised, you pathetic losers. 560 00:21:10,689 --> 00:21:13,423 You two disgust me more than most of these hot dogs. 561 00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:14,700 What's the hold up? 562 00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:17,595 Are we saving our bodies for bikini season, ladies? 563 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:21,055 - She's good. - She better be. She's expensive. 564 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:26,080 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com