1
00:00:04,506 --> 00:00:06,668
I'm confused. Wade who?

2
00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:09,318
Wade Boggs.
He's a Hall of Fame baseball guy

3
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,804
who drank 70 beers
on a cross-country flight.

4
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:13,121
We're gonna beat that record.

5
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,991
That's why I booked us
these tickets.

6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,860
I thought we were
flying to Los Angeles

7
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,201
for the Women's March.

8
00:00:19,969 --> 00:00:22,077
You are correct that
this is an all-female flight

9
00:00:22,102 --> 00:00:24,017
on the way to
the Women's March...

10
00:00:24,041 --> 00:00:25,752
but I don't give a shit
about that.

11
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:26,886
It's about the Boggs thing.

12
00:00:26,910 --> 00:00:28,999
I didn't know it was
an all-female flight.

13
00:00:29,024 --> 00:00:30,823
That feels dangerous.

14
00:00:30,848 --> 00:00:32,990
What are you...
no, hey! Come on!

15
00:00:33,015 --> 00:00:34,498
Can't smoke on an airplane.

16
00:00:34,523 --> 00:00:36,946
Goddamn, when's
the last time you flew?

17
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,703
Yeah, I don't get it.
You already did this.

18
00:00:39,728 --> 00:00:42,435
Shouldn't we do our own thing?
Why are we copying the guys?

19
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,115
No, that's the whole point.

20
00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:47,287
It's the same exact thing,
but it's with women.

21
00:00:47,312 --> 00:00:49,091
Right? So it's a new idea.

22
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,077
Okay, I just feel that
if it's all with women,

23
00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:53,701
- then it should be better.
- Why can't we just do the same thing?

24
00:00:53,725 --> 00:00:56,224
Because if we do the same thing
then why are we doing it at all?

25
00:00:56,248 --> 00:00:57,817
Yeah, I got to say
I agree with that.

26
00:00:57,841 --> 00:00:59,886
I mean, why can't we just come
up with our own record to break?

27
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:02,021
Like some badass woman who could
really throw them back?

28
00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:04,454
You know, Judy Garland,
Liz Taylor...

29
00:01:04,479 --> 00:01:05,518
Joan Crawford...

30
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,498
Betty Ford!

31
00:01:06,523 --> 00:01:08,193
Wha...? No.

32
00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:11,337
Those are all sad examples
of alcohol abuse.

33
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,492
The Boggs thing just feels
more fun, you know?

34
00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:16,759
When women do it,
it just feels sad.

35
00:01:17,055 --> 00:01:20,139
_

36
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:28,076
credits

37
00:01:42,782 --> 00:01:45,516
Okay. So, last time,
Mac was commissioner,

38
00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:47,683
but I figured I could do that
and participate

39
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,946
because women are
excellent multitaskers.

40
00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:51,404
What kind of plane is this?

41
00:01:51,498 --> 00:01:53,742
How come the coloreds
are allowed to sit up front

42
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:56,034
with the whites
and we're way back here?

43
00:01:56,059 --> 00:01:59,500
Wow. I never heard you
talk so much. Truly awful.

44
00:01:59,525 --> 00:02:01,259
What is going on with her?
Why is she so perky?

45
00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:03,719
She ate all her
nicotine patches already.

46
00:02:03,744 --> 00:02:06,218
Ate them?! What? You're not
supposed to eat them.

47
00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:08,121
My God, there was
a two-week supply.

48
00:02:08,145 --> 00:02:10,290
You know what?
Who cares? Who cares?

49
00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:11,681
In that case,
since you're all hopped up,

50
00:02:11,705 --> 00:02:13,469
you be the commissioner. Okay?

51
00:02:13,494 --> 00:02:15,814
Just mark everybody's shirts
every time they finish a beer.

52
00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:18,688
Hello ladies and ladies.

53
00:02:19,696 --> 00:02:20,650
Yeah!

54
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,051
My copilot Patricia and I

55
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,569
just wanted to welcome you
aboard our all-female flight

56
00:02:24,594 --> 00:02:26,600
en route to the Women's March.

57
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,835
Hell yeah! Can't wait.

58
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,850
No. Two women pilots.

59
00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:34,789
- I'm getting out of here.
- No, no, no. S-Sit down.

60
00:02:34,813 --> 00:02:36,336
Sit down. You're not getting...
everything's fine.

61
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,678
You're not getting off.
Sit down.

62
00:02:37,703 --> 00:02:39,467
We're in mid-goddamn-air.
You know what? Drink your beer.

63
00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:42,796
That'll calm your nerves.
My goodness. Okay.

64
00:02:42,821 --> 00:02:45,341
Keep going like that, we might
have ourselves a real scrimmage.

65
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,543
She's gonna be passed out
by Indiana.

66
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,687
Just mark her shirt off
while she's still in the game.

67
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:01,389
Was not expecting this line.

68
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:02,960
Why do women pee so much?

69
00:03:04,069 --> 00:03:06,935
Lady, thank you so much
for saving my spot.

70
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,547
- I wasn't.
- All right, shut up.

71
00:03:08,572 --> 00:03:09,914
What's with this line?
It hasn't moved.

72
00:03:09,938 --> 00:03:11,608
Excuse me, excuse me.

73
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,350
Mark me.

74
00:03:15,812 --> 00:03:17,645
All right. Nine?

75
00:03:17,748 --> 00:03:18,825
- Yeah.
- Nine, Waitress.

76
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,418
Very nice. I like that.

77
00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:21,811
Some record chugging.
What's your secret?

78
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,964
- I'm an alcoholic.
- That'll do it.

79
00:03:23,989 --> 00:03:25,503
Artemis, one? Only one? Come on.

80
00:03:25,528 --> 00:03:27,245
Just feels lazy and uninspired

81
00:03:27,269 --> 00:03:28,808
to do exactly what the men did.

82
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,342
Let's at least beat
a female sports star.

83
00:03:31,799 --> 00:03:33,822
Ooh, I like that idea.
Like who?

84
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,432
Secretariat?

85
00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:37,252
The racehorse?

86
00:03:37,277 --> 00:03:39,401
I like that.
Let's beat a Secretariat.

87
00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:41,748
I don't like that she was
named after a secretary.

88
00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,782
She should be a boss. But fine.

89
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,642
I don't get into this bathroom
soon I'm gonna shit my pants!

90
00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:51,249
Yes! Do it! See?
That's what I'm talking about.

91
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,558
Gross-out humor.
It's like taking the original

92
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:56,511
to the next level. See?
Nobody expects that from women.

93
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,576
It's so much more shocking,
isn't it?

94
00:04:01,814 --> 00:04:04,131
Give me that, give me that,
give me that mark.

95
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,343
Here we go.

96
00:04:05,937 --> 00:04:08,657
Yes. Thank you.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

97
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,765
- I need two more beers.
- We're out.

98
00:04:11,812 --> 00:04:13,295
No problemo.

99
00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:14,952
I planned for this.

100
00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:21,163
They don't check medical bags.

101
00:04:21,374 --> 00:04:22,882
See? The guys didn't do that
last time.

102
00:04:22,906 --> 00:04:24,779
How's that for originality?

103
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:28,094
What-what the hell?

104
00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:29,711
Where-where are my beers?

105
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,504
I had to make room
for all my merchandise.

106
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,680
Just, crystals,
worry dolls, dream catchers,

107
00:04:34,705 --> 00:04:36,618
labia rings... your basics.

108
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,544
I'm gonna make big money
in California.

109
00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:40,852
- With this crap?
- Yeah.

110
00:04:40,877 --> 00:04:41,976
It's a land of sad,

111
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:43,348
lonely, desperate women

112
00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:45,953
willing to pay any price
for fake spirituality

113
00:04:45,978 --> 00:04:47,469
and clean orgasms.

114
00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:48,790
Ooh, I want to...
I-I want to 'gasm.

115
00:04:48,814 --> 00:04:50,283
See? Lookin' at
my first customer.

116
00:04:50,308 --> 00:04:52,101
Yeah, okay, look, I love a scam.

117
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,609
I-I love to scam
pathetic, sad, lonely women.

118
00:04:54,634 --> 00:04:55,852
But let's wait
till we get to California.

119
00:04:55,876 --> 00:04:57,400
For now,
I need to get you drunk.

120
00:04:57,425 --> 00:04:58,773
I need beers. Goddamn it.

121
00:04:58,798 --> 00:04:59,927
All right. Hey, hey!

122
00:04:59,952 --> 00:05:01,361
Hey, you! Servant!

123
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,468
Hold on a sec. Servant.

124
00:05:03,967 --> 00:05:05,133
Dear God.

125
00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:08,424
How do I keep winding up
with you people?

126
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:10,542
Do I know you?

127
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:11,580
Do you...

128
00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:14,090
I used to work at Guigino's.

129
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,659
And then I moved to Minnesota

130
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,803
and I waited on you guys
at the Super Bowl.

131
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,150
- Nothing?
- Nope.

132
00:05:22,175 --> 00:05:24,103
- Forget it, forget it, forget it.
- Nope. Nope.

133
00:05:24,165 --> 00:05:25,373
What can I do for ya?

134
00:05:25,398 --> 00:05:26,451
Hold on a second.

135
00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:27,676
How come you're a man servant?

136
00:05:27,731 --> 00:05:28,876
Shouldn't there be
a woman servant

137
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,400
on an all-female flight?

138
00:05:30,425 --> 00:05:31,557
Well, it's "flight attendant,"

139
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,008
and I actually volunteered,

140
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:36,411
because I think women have been
disrespected for far too long

141
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:39,681
and I wanted to honor them
and be their champion...

142
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,666
Great.
You're a soy boy beta cuck.

143
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:42,890
- A what?
- Whatever.

144
00:05:42,915 --> 00:05:44,687
Look, we're doing
the Boggs thing.

145
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:45,871
I don't know what that is.

146
00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:47,622
Wade Boggs.

147
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,869
Okay.
Is that a person's name or...

148
00:05:49,894 --> 00:05:51,878
Doesn't matter.
Listen, we're gonna need

149
00:05:51,902 --> 00:05:53,478
about 50 beers each, all right?

150
00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:54,680
And you can put it
on the Boggs account.

151
00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:55,781
Just make sure
you keep all the ladies

152
00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:57,744
in the white tees lubricated.

153
00:05:57,769 --> 00:05:59,485
Okay. I'm afraid we don't have
any beer, is the thing.

154
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:00,853
- What? What did you say?
- Yeah.

155
00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:03,838
In honor of the Women's
March, we are serving pink wine.

156
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,144
So we only have rosé.

157
00:06:05,169 --> 00:06:06,378
- Right. Okay.
- Yeah.

158
00:06:06,403 --> 00:06:07,403
Cute. Great.

159
00:06:07,428 --> 00:06:09,477
We'll take
a shit ton of pink wine.

160
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,511
- Thank you.
- Okay. You're welcome.

161
00:06:19,269 --> 00:06:20,886
Come on. I got news.

162
00:06:20,911 --> 00:06:22,557
I do, too, and it's bad news.

163
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,533
I just found out
Secretariat was a boy.

164
00:06:25,558 --> 00:06:27,258
All racehorses are male.

165
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:30,394
I know, because I find them
so attractive.

166
00:06:30,427 --> 00:06:33,995
Well, that's messed up.
Why-why woman horses can't race?

167
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,378
They should be able...

168
00:06:35,403 --> 00:06:37,572
They can run just as fast
as the boy horses.

169
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:38,791
- That's not what we're ta...
- They should march.

170
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,726
- Pussies on the track.
- Getting off track. That's not...

171
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:42,411
- Pussies on the track.
- What are you doing?

172
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,413
- Pussies on the track.
- Shut up! Stop it!

173
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,165
- We should not drink in protest.
- Stop! Shut up! Okay?

174
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:48,235
Shut up!

175
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,361
It's all right. It's all right,
'cause I got a new plan.

176
00:06:53,386 --> 00:06:56,048
Okay? You guys need
a female athlete?

177
00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:57,639
Check this out.

178
00:06:57,749 --> 00:07:01,746
I happen to know that
tennis great Martina Navratilova

179
00:07:01,771 --> 00:07:04,716
drank 70 beers
on a flight to L.A.,

180
00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,451
only to wake up the next morning

181
00:07:06,476 --> 00:07:09,611
and beat her rival, Chris Evert,
at the California Open.

182
00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:11,514
That's very impressive.

183
00:07:11,539 --> 00:07:14,189
So now we're gonna try to beat
Martina Tinatinova...

184
00:07:14,214 --> 00:07:15,778
No, goddamn it!
We're doing the Boggs thing.

185
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,259
We're still doing
the Boggs thing,

186
00:07:17,284 --> 00:07:20,548
but you're gonna use Martina
as your inspiration. See? Okay.

187
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:21,915
And we're also switching
to pink wine.

188
00:07:21,939 --> 00:07:23,710
How's that, Artemis,
for switching it up?

189
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:24,796
Trying new stuff?

190
00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:27,532
You can't just change one
small specific and call it new.

191
00:07:27,557 --> 00:07:30,459
- I changed three! The wine...
- We're still copying the men.

192
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,376
The athlete, and the bag!

193
00:07:32,401 --> 00:07:35,413
- I will drink anything that you
put in front of me. - Okay!

194
00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:36,821
Well, there you go.
Did you hear that?

195
00:07:36,845 --> 00:07:38,142
You happy? Okay, great.

196
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,178
So, we're all settled.

197
00:07:39,203 --> 00:07:40,875
I just need to do a
quick conversion because

198
00:07:40,899 --> 00:07:43,311
beer has a five percent alcohol content

199
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,173
and rosé has
a 12% alcohol content.

200
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,843
Dear! Watching a woman
do math scares me!

201
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,976
Okay, so every little
airplane bottle of wine

202
00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:51,680
will equal 2.4 beers,

203
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,087
so we'd have to drink

204
00:07:53,112 --> 00:07:56,853
29.17 bottles of wine
to equal 70 beers. Okay.

205
00:07:57,034 --> 00:08:00,446
So let's just call it
an even 29 to win. Good?

206
00:08:01,243 --> 00:08:02,423
Nerd.

207
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,759
We're doing a good job
on those guys?

208
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:16,477
Yeah. We're tearing it up.
Tearing it up.

209
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,987
Yeah. Okay. Whoo!

210
00:08:20,651 --> 00:08:23,311
Man, it is sad that there are
only chicks on this plane

211
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,175
'cause, I mean,
I am all horned up.

212
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,233
Well, there is a-a male servant.

213
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:28,370
Yeah? Hot?

214
00:08:28,453 --> 00:08:30,362
No. Soy boy beta cuck.

215
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,755
I know, but, don't
get distracted by that, okay?

216
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,247
The main reason I picked
an all-female flight

217
00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:37,776
is because sex
is how Dennis lost.

218
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,931
Dennis? I-I like
to hear about Dennis.

219
00:08:39,956 --> 00:08:41,347
Tell me more.

220
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:43,845
He and Frank, he...
They made a side bet, you know.

221
00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:44,883
See who could have sex.

222
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:47,519
And then Dennis ended up banging
this disgusting person,

223
00:08:47,544 --> 00:08:49,655
and then he got off
at North Dakota to avoid her.

224
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,682
He was...
He was the first one out.

225
00:08:51,707 --> 00:08:55,392
So-so Dennis had sex on
the plane, how-how many women?

226
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,386
Just the one. Again...

227
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,781
don't get distracted by that.

228
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,438
Well, I'm gonna beat his record.

229
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,315
There's only one man
on this flight.

230
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,253
Okay, well, I will
figure something out.

231
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:06,755
No, no, no. Stop. Stop it, okay?
Kno-Knock it off.

232
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,456
You're my Chris Evert.
You're my rival, okay?

233
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,744
The only reason you're here
is so that my hatred of you

234
00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:14,206
can fuel my desire
to beat you, okay?

235
00:09:14,231 --> 00:09:15,976
So I need you staying
in the game.

236
00:09:16,573 --> 00:09:19,276
Okay. Then I'm gonna
beat you, you skank.

237
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:21,301
Yes. that is the spirit.

238
00:09:21,425 --> 00:09:24,833
The only way to beat men is by
competing against other women.

239
00:09:25,044 --> 00:09:26,503
Here's to that.

240
00:09:35,112 --> 00:09:37,393
- It hurts so much...
- Where the hell is he?

241
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,017
-I dinged that goddamn thing
ten years ago.

242
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,767
So the rose quartz
is a healing gemstone,

243
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:44,776
as well as the lapis lazuli.

244
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:48,159
And the goddess stone
is for putting up your snatch.

245
00:09:48,184 --> 00:09:50,089
- Only $70, ladies.
- All right. All right.

246
00:09:50,114 --> 00:09:51,717
What the hell is this shit?
What are you doing?

247
00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:53,385
I'm selling my sundries, okay?

248
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:54,487
Why wait for California

249
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,522
when I've got a captive audience
right now?

250
00:09:56,546 --> 00:09:58,413
Here. Drink this.

251
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:04,312
What is that? My God.

252
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,941
Are you trying to poison me?
That's not alcohol.

253
00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:07,862
No, it's my special "uni-tea."

254
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,518
Well, it's selling like
hotcakes.

255
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:11,686
Drink up, ladies.

256
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,112
It helps your prostate.

257
00:10:13,137 --> 00:10:14,987
Women don't have a prostate,
goddammit.

258
00:10:15,012 --> 00:10:16,759
Or is that what men
want you to believe?

259
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,544
You're supposed
to be drinking wines.

260
00:10:18,568 --> 00:10:20,876
You know, you're not supposed
to be selling vag rocks

261
00:10:20,901 --> 00:10:22,303
and-and shit tea.

262
00:10:22,328 --> 00:10:25,784
You ca... six? Six is pathetic,
even for you.

263
00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:29,331
No, you know what's pathetic?
Is this Boggs ladies remake.

264
00:10:29,356 --> 00:10:30,555
- Don't do that.
- Yeah, no.

265
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,736
I will do that.
This Boggs is busted,

266
00:10:32,761 --> 00:10:34,577
'cause I'm doing
my own thing now.

267
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,681
And it's empowering
and communal.

268
00:10:36,706 --> 00:10:39,386
Next level shit, right, ladies?

269
00:10:39,411 --> 00:10:40,783
Not to mention I've already
taken these bitches

270
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,284
for three hundo, so, what?

271
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,479
All right, goddammit, Mrs. Mac,
Artemis is out.

272
00:10:45,504 --> 00:10:48,159
Yeah. Out... of this world.

273
00:10:48,257 --> 00:10:49,489
Sw... Okay.

274
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,774
All right. Okay.

275
00:10:52,261 --> 00:10:53,511
Yeah.

276
00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:56,182
Yeah, six is a yonic number,
I'm cool with it.

277
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:58,878
Hey, who wants me to read
their moon charts?

278
00:10:59,107 --> 00:11:00,318
Yes.

279
00:11:05,128 --> 00:11:07,456
Where's the goddamn drink slave?

280
00:11:07,717 --> 00:11:09,667
Does anybody here do their job?

281
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,409
Hello, Deandra.

282
00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:16,784
Hey. 15?

283
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,775
Nice. I underestimated you,
champ.

284
00:11:19,018 --> 00:11:21,080
I'm trying to find the guy
to get us some more drinks

285
00:11:21,104 --> 00:11:22,558
to calm your nerves,
but I think...

286
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,643
I don't need any more.
I found a man

287
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,932
to help me feel safe.

288
00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:27,401
- Who, the waiter?
- No.

289
00:11:27,975 --> 00:11:29,608
A real man.

290
00:11:35,324 --> 00:11:36,434
Yo!

291
00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:39,160
Frank. What... What the hell
are you doing here?

292
00:11:39,185 --> 00:11:40,326
I'm posting up.

293
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,100
I figure a plane full of broads,

294
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,678
there's gonna
be a lot of horny women,

295
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,704
so I'm like a spider waiting
back here to catch some flies.

296
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,427
No. No, goddamn it.

297
00:11:48,452 --> 00:11:49,751
This is my all-female version.

298
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,083
You're not supposed to be here.

299
00:11:51,108 --> 00:11:53,621
Whe... In every reboot
you gotta have somebody

300
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,723
from the original
to make a cameo.

301
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,122
- No.
- Hey.

302
00:11:57,147 --> 00:11:59,076
I heard there's a man back here.

303
00:11:59,365 --> 00:12:01,083
Nope. It's just you.

304
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,780
- Want to rumble?
- No, I don't,

305
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,529
but I do want to beat Dennis,
so just pop it in.

306
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,021
I'm gonna need more wine.

307
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,281
Whoa, whoa, whoa, drink slave.

308
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:14,645
Been looking all over
the damn plane.

309
00:12:14,669 --> 00:12:15,744
I need more five more bottles.

310
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,378
Sorry, that is not possible.

311
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,864
One of our premier passengers
just bought

312
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,131
the rest of the bottles
on the plane.

313
00:12:20,155 --> 00:12:21,388
What? Who?

314
00:12:23,483 --> 00:12:25,595
Coach people are not
allowed in first class.

315
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,524
Okay, so I'm a second-class
person?

316
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,159
Is that 'cause I'm a woman?

317
00:12:31,191 --> 00:12:33,351
- Did you hear that, ladies?!
- That's not what I said.

318
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:34,803
My God!

319
00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:37,371
Did you just
try and slap me in my face?

320
00:12:37,473 --> 00:12:40,274
- No.
- You better say cheese, buddy,

321
00:12:40,299 --> 00:12:42,299
'cause you're about to go viral.

322
00:12:42,742 --> 00:12:44,542
- Got to connect the Wi-Fi...
- She picked up.

323
00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:46,824
- Hi, Dee.
- Hey. Hi.

324
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,544
What are you guys
doing on my phone?

325
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,396
How many checks
do you have on your...

326
00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:52,815
- It's only got 20-20 beers.
- No.

327
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:55,484
- We knew you wouldn't do it.
- No, 20 wines. I sw...

328
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,752
- We had to switch to wine.
- Three beers. Three beers.

329
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,454
- They ran out of the beers.
- We knew you wouldn't do it.

330
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,489
Wine has a higher
blood alcohol content.

331
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:03,792
They switched to wine
'cause of Women's March.

332
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,678
- There is no smoking in here.
- A higher blood alcohol...

333
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,313
Whoever's in there...
Is this a friend of yours?

334
00:13:07,337 --> 00:13:08,614
- Who is this?
- My God.

335
00:13:08,638 --> 00:13:10,121
- Goddamn it, Mrs. Mac.
- Hello?

336
00:13:10,146 --> 00:13:11,146
Hello?

337
00:13:11,389 --> 00:13:14,620
- It's the women pilots!
- What? No.

338
00:13:14,645 --> 00:13:16,671
We're all gonna crash!

339
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,293
No, we're not. Ma'am. Ma'am.

340
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,151
I've got to get out of here!

341
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,645
- We're fine, calm down.
- You've got to take over the controls!

342
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,410
All right, where's the wine?

343
00:13:24,714 --> 00:13:27,098
Which one of you first-class
assholes decided

344
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:28,616
to go and take all the wine?

345
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,519
'Cause I'm gonna be needing
a fe-a few of 'em back.

346
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,787
Looking for this?

347
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,626
- Snail?
- Yeah.

348
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,246
Heard you were doing the
Boggs Soggs lady reboot thing.

349
00:13:40,271 --> 00:13:41,949
Did you lose my invitation?

350
00:13:41,974 --> 00:13:43,496
No. You weren't invited.

351
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:45,158
Come on. You don't want
the coolest chick

352
00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,417
in the world around?

353
00:13:46,442 --> 00:13:48,409
You're so jealous, obvi.

354
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,300
I'm not jealous of you,
I didn't invite you

355
00:13:50,325 --> 00:13:51,485
because you're the worst.

356
00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,625
Really? 'Cause I'm gonna
ruin your game now.

357
00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:54,978
Good luck beating the guys.

358
00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:57,378
You're stuck at 20,
'cause I bought all the wine.

359
00:13:59,292 --> 00:14:01,558
I'm gonna salt you, Snail! Back!

360
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,097
Stop it! Help me!

361
00:14:04,122 --> 00:14:06,449
- Stewardess!
- What now?

362
00:14:14,089 --> 00:14:16,270
Wine. May I borrow this?

363
00:14:16,504 --> 00:14:17,635
Thank you.

364
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,613
She's gone full Judy Garland.

365
00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:22,392
Isn't it glorious?

366
00:14:22,417 --> 00:14:24,112
All right. Well, you don't
do the mic thing, though.

367
00:14:24,136 --> 00:14:26,339
- The mic thing...
- The mic thing is my thing.

368
00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:29,072
- No! no! - Yeah. Yeah, I did the
mic thing last time and it killed,

369
00:14:29,097 --> 00:14:32,236
but when you do it, it just
seems to be depressing and sad.

370
00:14:32,261 --> 00:14:35,899
That's because when women drink,
it is depressing and sad.

371
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:39,354
I had sex in the bathroom
with Frank,

372
00:14:39,637 --> 00:14:42,462
and now I'm in a shame spiral.

373
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,780
I'm gonna drink myself to death.

374
00:14:44,805 --> 00:14:47,601
Okay, there you go.
Whatever keeps you going.

375
00:14:47,781 --> 00:14:50,381
Stand up, though, okay?
Stand up, though, Waitress.

376
00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:52,784
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no. Stay with me. Hey.

377
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,376
- Stay with me. Hang in there.
- Dennis.

378
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,488
Not Dennis!
Don't-don't do...

379
00:14:57,513 --> 00:14:59,585
Don't touch me, okay?
Wake up. We're not...

380
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:02,258
Goddamn it. We're not even
halfway to California.

381
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,469
Step aside, Dee,
and let me do my job.

382
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,711
Fine. Goddamn it.

383
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,149
Giving up so easy?

384
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,476
Martina Navratilova?

385
00:15:25,807 --> 00:15:27,972
I never thought you'd give up
when you're so close

386
00:15:27,997 --> 00:15:29,796
to beating the record.

387
00:15:30,023 --> 00:15:31,343
I can't do it, Marty.

388
00:15:31,368 --> 00:15:33,513
- Don't call me that.
- Well, I'm all out of booze,

389
00:15:33,716 --> 00:15:35,344
and I'm all out of motivation.

390
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,725
Right? 'Cause my competition
pussed out, up there.

391
00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:40,055
And this one back here.

392
00:15:40,368 --> 00:15:41,617
It was my hatred for them

393
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,706
that kept me going.

394
00:15:42,925 --> 00:15:45,187
It's not about
hating your opponent.

395
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,610
Chris Evert and I were
actually good friends.

396
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,414
We'd play a hard match,

397
00:15:49,439 --> 00:15:51,676
but then go out
for dinner after.

398
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,788
Male opponents had the luxury
of hating each other.

399
00:15:54,813 --> 00:15:57,368
But, as women,
we had to stick together

400
00:15:57,516 --> 00:15:59,835
to fight for the respect
we deserve

401
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,719
and grow the sport.

402
00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:03,744
- Get it?
- Yeah.

403
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:05,857
You and Chris were...

404
00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:07,725
No.

405
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,233
- No.
- No.

406
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,361
- Okay, I don't get it.
- You and your friends need to...

407
00:16:11,385 --> 00:16:13,110
- You know what? Forget it.
- What?

408
00:16:13,135 --> 00:16:14,694
You're using me as inspiration,

409
00:16:14,719 --> 00:16:16,452
but you don't know
anything about me.

410
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,786
- I don't even look like this.
- Yeah, you do.

411
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:22,480
No, it's just your imagination
filling in the blanks.

412
00:16:22,969 --> 00:16:24,393
Really?

413
00:16:24,878 --> 00:16:27,411
Now you're imagining me
as Lori Petty

414
00:16:27,436 --> 00:16:28,713
in A League of Their Own.

415
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,391
That was a good female reboot.

416
00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:32,282
No, it was its own thing.

417
00:16:32,307 --> 00:16:35,600
And just so you know,
I never drank 70 beers

418
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:37,944
before winning
the California Open.

419
00:16:37,969 --> 00:16:39,657
That's not even a real event.

420
00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:42,543
Your whole hallucination
is a mess.

421
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,408
Who cares?
Tennis is boring.

422
00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,407
Let's face it, I'm not gonna
find my Chris Evert

423
00:16:46,432 --> 00:16:47,696
in this sea of duds.

424
00:16:48,243 --> 00:16:49,540
It's over.

425
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:53,180
Deandra, you should have
let them crazy boys do this.

426
00:16:53,205 --> 00:16:54,622
Well, now, don't you start.

427
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,492
I'll be your Chris Evert.

428
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,696
No, get out of here, Snail.
I don't respect you.

429
00:16:58,721 --> 00:17:00,444
Yeah?
Well, respect this.

430
00:17:00,469 --> 00:17:02,078
I've been playing the game
the whole time.

431
00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:04,102
You're one behind me, loser.

432
00:17:04,914 --> 00:17:06,288
Snail.

433
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:10,573
Let's do this.

434
00:17:21,838 --> 00:17:23,651
Too much spit.

435
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:27,001
I did it! I did it.

436
00:17:27,423 --> 00:17:29,690
I'm Mar-I'm Martina!

437
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,433
It's okay, baby girl.
It's over.

438
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:34,003
I know it's over.

439
00:17:34,028 --> 00:17:35,518
'Cause I beat Martina.

440
00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:36,961
I beat Boggs.

441
00:17:37,192 --> 00:17:39,092
I'm about to beat all of 'em.

442
00:17:39,117 --> 00:17:41,320
No. It's over.

443
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:44,799
I'm pulling the plug
on your male hand-me-down plot.

444
00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:47,391
As women, we deserve better.

445
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,836
We deserve our own story.

446
00:17:50,585 --> 00:17:51,812
What is happening?

447
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,514
That tea that I served

448
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:57,008
was spiked with ayahuasca, so...

449
00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:10,638
No!

450
00:18:11,266 --> 00:18:13,149
It's coming out both ends.

451
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:16,664
The maximum gross-out.

452
00:18:16,689 --> 00:18:19,211
So nobody saw that coming
from women.

453
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,795
God, wha...?
What is going on?

454
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,289
I'm tripping so hard.

455
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:36,779
Hey. Where are we?

456
00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:38,257
Are we in L.A.?

457
00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:40,445
No. We're in North Dakota.

458
00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:43,514
And only those passengers
deemed fit to fly

459
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,316
will go on to Los Angeles.

460
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,607
And you're not one of them.

461
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,352
- No.
- Wait.

462
00:18:48,509 --> 00:18:50,409
One more thing.

463
00:18:55,352 --> 00:18:56,611
Okay.

464
00:18:56,854 --> 00:18:58,992
Bye-bye.
Thank you for flying with us.

465
00:19:03,891 --> 00:19:06,320
California, USA.

466
00:19:18,936 --> 00:19:25,936
Credits