- Previously on "Wrecked"... - I'm going to break you
and watch you hunt each other to the death.
Jess!
- Where am I? - She thinks she's in college.
- You live in L.A.? - Jess has a boner for Pack.
Guys, can we focus, please?
Namely on how we're gonna get out of this "Hunger Games" knockoff?
Karen, please.
Wait! Declan told me that...
Wait, wait. Who was it?! Who... Who shot him?!
Holy shit.
Guys, can we focus, please?
Namely on how we're gonna get out of this "Hunger Games" knockoff?
- This can't be real. - Oh, it's real, pal.
You take my girl, I take your life.
Todd, I didn't do anything.
- This is between you and Jess. - Wrong!
This is between you and Derek Punchly.
- Who's Derek Punchly? - My fist!
And he brought his twin brother, Timmy Cold-cock.
If they're twins, why do they have different last names, you idiot?
Pack, we should team up. We'll have a better shot of surviving
if we hunt together.
I mean, not like together-together.
I mean, unless you, like, wanted to hunt together-together.
Jess, listen, I'm very flattered,
but I just don't think the timing's right.
- Oh, my God. Totally. - It's not you.
It's just that your ex-husband's trying to murder me, you know.
Yeah. I mean, this is, like, whatever?
We should just hunt together casually, you know.
Hey, Jess. I know you.
You don't actually like this needle dick.
You just... You always had a boyfriend.
You don't think you can do things on your own.
Oh, my God! That is not true!
I love being alone. You can, like, really hear your thoughts.
Todd, Jess and I are not hunting together, I swear!
We wouldn't... This is not...
Pack, wait!
Hell, yeah.
Hey, Pack!
I'm about to go all Bat-niss Everdeen on your ass.
'Cause of the bat and... the arrows and...
Whatever! You're dead!
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -
- Stop following me! - No! I'm not doing this alone!
I'll literally die!
- Aah! - Are you okay?
Hey, Pack!
I'm gonna rip your nuts outta your mouth!
Oh, God! Quick, cover me in leaves.
It's the only way! But where should I hide?
Anywhere but here!
Jess, wait!
Can you cover my face? I can't do it and keep my arms covered.
Thank you! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Well, well, well.
What do we have...
here?!
Oh, God! I'm sorry!
It's not my fault Jess likes me.
I'm just really charming.
Yeah, well, I'm pissed!
And it feels like your fault,
so I'm just gonna take it out on you!
Aah!
Oh, my God. Did I just kill him?
No.
You conked him. Where did that come from?
Oh, I was in color guard in high school.
You mean the nerd cheerleaders that wave big flags around?
Uhh, no. I mean the cool cheerleaders
who don't dress like hookers. And we don't wave flags.
We spin them.
Wow. You can really handle that thing.
I don't want to brag, but we made state
with this killer Whitney Houston routine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, Jess.
I think we should hunt together.
Like, together-together.
Oh, my God.
Really? Okay. All right.
So, we should double back and go on the offensive, right?
Put this stick to use.
Yeah, that is a great idea.
I really like that idea, but I was thinking
we use your stick to walk, right?
And then maybe we turn that walk into a run,
and then we run directly into a hiding spot.
And if anyone finds us, you can protect us with your...
stick stuff.
What do you say...
babe?
Okay. Let's hide.
Okay.
Oh.
The hell?
Pretty trippy, huh, Todd?
Rob Corddry?
Second lead on HBO's "Ballers"?
I'm gonna have to stop you right there.
Uh, I'm not "the second lead".
It's a two-hander. It's me and The Rock.
Wait. What's going on?
Where's Jess?
I was just about to thump on Pack, and...
And now you're there.
Am I dead?
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not yet. This all around you?
This... This thing, most of those...
This is the realm of your unconscious.
Lucky for you, you got me to guide you through it.
You're telling me Rob Corddry
- is my spirit guide? - Yeah.
Oh, hell, yeah, my dude!
Whoo! We're gonna get naughty.
- What! - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
If you're here, that means... No.
No! Oh, yeah.
I smell what we're cooking.
Where is he, huh? Where is The Rock?
No.
Where are you, D, you big boy?
Actually, he's not here, okay?
It's just me, no Rock.
Oh.
D.J.'s shooting, like, nine movies right now, okay?
I think he's a little busy for some random dude's dream sequence.
Me, on the other hand, huh?
Come on, hit that shit, man!
- Boom! Ballers. - Ballers.
Nice. So, this is what's gonna happen.
We are gonna step through that door,
and you are gonna learn a lesson about you.
And if I don't, then what?
That guy shits his pants or something?
Yeah, he'll shit his pants again... probably.
But if you don't learn why you're here,
this Todd, the real Todd, will never wake up again.
- Oh, - I know, right?
Shall we?
Hey, so "Hot Tub Time Machine," that wasn't real, right?
Are you asking me if the hot tub
- was a real time machine? - Just answer the question.
You don't have to be a dick about it. Was it real?
Okay, well, what if we hide down there in that ditch?
Okay.
Are you trying to drown in flood water?
No, no, no. Jess...
hiding is all about anticipating danger.
And the way we...
- Is that a cave? - No.
It's the perfect hiding spot.
Well, let's just say my hidey senses are a-tingling.
Something tells me we're gonna be totally fine.
Stop right there.
Oh, God, please. I don't want to die, please.
Little buddy?
- Big Bruce! - Hot damn!
I thought that was you!
I can't believe y'all are still alive.
It's so good to see you.
Hey, Chet, get on out here! See who's here!
- Hey! - Right on. It's Pack and Jess.
- Do I know them? - Ye-Yeah.
They're from the plane crash.
It's... It's Bruce and Chet.
Uh, these guys. Yeah.
Oh, come on, Jess. You remember me. Bruce.
- Bruuuuce. - Unforch, she doesn't.
She got a little bit of a head trauma.
- Thinks she's 18. - Whoa. Hi, I'm Chet.
You should know that we banged and both jizzed, so...
- Sorry about your noggin. - Thanks.
So, Bruce, what's the deal? Is this your cave?
Hell, yeah, it is. Come on in!
Oh, wow! It's so small.
- A moment, sir? - What? Not now, Martha.
Steve and that ragged old cow are going toe-to-toe.
Half-Pint and The Hot One have disappeared.
- What do you mean? - I've lost them on the feed.
Well, do your bloody job and find them.
Oh, whoa.
- That is a freakin' wild ride. - Right?
Ah.
Where the hell are we?
You're about to find out.
Now, watch and learn.
Greg Graff?
Oh, my God. This friggin' punk bully.
He made my life hell in middle school.
Yeah, but what you didn't know was that Greg
was going through his own hell.
Oh, you moron! You sunk all our money
into a self-cleaning toilet business?
Yeah, Wanda, I did because
it's a good investment!
People are always gonna have to take a shit.
So, probably see Greg a little differently now, huh?
Hey. Go to him.
Hey.
Come on, man.
- Boom! - Oh! What?!
Oh! I'm a little bigger now, huh, Greg?!
- Todd! What the hell! - Yeah.
You just met my good friend, Derek Punchly!
- Whoo. - Jesus, man. No.
You were supposed to see that he only lashed out at you
because of what he was going through at home.
Who gives a shit, man? My mom was a hard ass.
Didn't turn me into a bully.
You just punched a child.
- Is that all you got, pussy? - What'd you say?
- Whoa! - Wow!
- All right, dude. - Let's go, man! Come on!
Yeah, you better thank Rob Corddry,
'cause he just saved your life, bitch!
And by that time, the life raft
was nothing but a pile of driftwood.
And that's when the birds came...
About a dozen of 'em, circling.
Plucked Beth right out of the water
and into the sky.
I ain't never seen birds work together like that before.
And thankfully, we washed up on shore that night.
What about you, Chet? What happened after the gorilla?
You mean...
after you abandoned me to die?
Nada mucho, actually. Just dipped about for a while.
Ate some funny berries, shot out a runny shit.
Literally walked right into Bruce.
Hey, what about y'all? Where y'all been?
Listen, I don't know how to say this.
It's just us now.
The gorilla... It killed the others.
- Oh, shit. - Whoa.
Yeah, it tore them all to pieces
with its big monkey hands.
Jesus.
Apes and birds, man. Apes and birds.
Pack, can I... can I speak to you for a second?
- Just... - Of course.
Excuse her.
She's numb from grief.
What are you doing? We have to tell them the truth.
If they know about the hunt, they could think the others
are gonna follow us here and kill them.
They'll kick us out of the cave.
My sorority big always says, "Honesty is the best policy.
Now tell us why you're fat."
- We have to come clean. - This is our only shot.
Declan clearly doesn't know this place exists.
Well, maybe they can help us defeat Declan.
I mean, they don't have bracelets. We can save everyone.
Save everyone?
Are you listening to yourself?
You're being so selfish.
I'm trying to protect us.
You're doing this... for us?
Of course. So just... don't rock the boat.
What do you say we take one of these magic doors back in time
to, like, the first Hooters or something, you know?
When silicone was good.
Hey!
My glasses. Found 'em.
Oh, my God. That's 8-year-old me!
'Sup, playboy?
Whoo, he is a handsome little sucker, huh?
You said your mom was a real hardass, right?
You remember this day?
Come on, Todd. We're leaving.
But you promised me a lollipop.
Shut up, you little crybaby.
Ow.
See? She's mean as hell.
Yeah, but do you ever why she was so mean to you?
And sna...
Please, this loan,
I-it's the only way I can get Todd into the good schools.
Y-You know how rough Scottsdale Public is.
He... He'll never survive.
I'm sorry.
Your credit is dog shit.
Come on, Todd, we're leaving.
Your mother taught you to mask feelings of hurt and sadness
with displays of aggression. Classic cycle.
Do you understand that now?
Yeah, I understand...
that this butt sniffer should've given my mom a loan.
- Boom! - Oh, my God!
- Eat it, moneybags! - No!
- And I ruled Scottsdale Public. - What are you do...
H-How are you not getting this? Are you thick?
Hey, watch it, Cords. It's still my head.
- I'll think your dick off. - What?
Boy, I haven't heard that sound for a time.
What?
Laughter.
What with this group's been through,
I didn't think any of us were ever gonna laugh again.
Heck, what am I telling you for?
You had to watch an ape tear apart all your friends.
Yeah.
Even so,
I can't help but think that we've turned a corner.
Maybe we can actually find peace on this island,
love one another, live in harmony,
actually be 100% safe, you know?
Aw, heck. Listen to me babble on.
Pay me no mind, Jess. I'm just an old fool.
Listen, Bruce.
I have to tell you something.
Hey, Bruce.
Listen, man, I hate to be that guy,
but the sleeping spot you gave us is...
sort of craggy, so I was wondering if...
What's happening?
Hey! Dude.
You're being very un-Baller right now.
I'm just trying to help you wake up, man.
Really?
But if all you wanna do is fight, go ahead.
Knock yourself out.
What?
Hell, yeah!
This guy is swole patrol.
What's up, Cobra Kai Todd?
Hell, yeah. What's up, little bitch?
What did you say to me, dude?
And Declan and his friends
are just watching from the mansion,
like it's a sport.
So, you're saying there can only be one survivor?
Yeah.
Well, then, I guess we don't have much of a choice, do we?
Well, hold on... Hold on a second, Chester, now.
They don't even know we're here.
As long as they don't spot us, we're safe.
Oh!
Oh, shit.
They know we're here.
Well...
then I guess it's begun!
Damn, son a bitch! Where'd you get another knife?!
Old Chester always has a second switchblade, ass balls!
Don't you get it?!
There can only be one survivor!
Okay. Hang on a second!
Oh, God!
- I told you not to tell them. - Chet, stop!
Sooner or later, this Derclan guy
is gonna pull us all into this.
It's "Lawrence of the Flies," babies,
- and I aim to be Lawrence. - You think it's "Lawrence of the Flies"?
Everybody, rush him!
Let the games begin!
You. You led that metal bird straight to us.
You brought death to our door step.
Get him!
Quick, Jess! Use your stick to protect us!
What? You're the dude. You're supposed to protect me.
God damn it!
Start something, you little bitch.
I'm right here, bitch. Start something.
- You go ahead, bro. Start something. - No, you start something.
- I'm right here, dude. - Oh, for the love of Christ,
one of you start something.
You're running out of time.
Copy that, Cords.
- Ha! - Two Todds enter.
Aah!
Ha!
One Todd leaves!
Aah! Ha-ah!
And good night.
Whoo!
- Good. - Oh, boy.
Never doubt the twins. You see that, Corddry?
Oh, you think you kicked his ass?
Uhh, yeah.
He didn't land a single punch.
Then maybe you should take a look at this.
Whoa.
I guess he did get some shots in, huh?
What? No!
Jesus Christ.
Do I have to spell this out for you?
You. Did. This. To...
you.
I... kicked my own ass?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That means... whenever I choose aggression,
I'm only hurting...
- myself. - Oh!
Wow. Yes!
Mwah! Yes, finally.
Oh, God.
To think it only took you three tries
and a super-on-the-nose metaphor to get you there.
I know what I need to do now.
Well, I'll be seeing you, Todd.
Thanks, "Ballers'" Rob Corddry.
Mm-hmm.
Hey.
You want to know why my brain chose you, Cords?
'Cause The Rock may be the pecs and the abs
and the ass of that show...
but you're the heart.
Thank you, Todd.
But next time, you know, tell The Rock...
Get the outta here.
You got it, boss.
Now, Jess, I don't feel good whomping on a girl.
When those birds snatched Beth,
I made a promise to these people to protect them.
Let's do this.
- Aah! - Jesus!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Please, please don't kill me. Please!
Relax, bud.
I don't want to thrash you anymore.
Really? Come on. Really.
Let's just say
Rob Corddry taught me how to be a better man.
What?
Where's Jess?
Right here.
You're alive.
Duh. I can take care of myself.
Sick.
Listen, Jess, I just wanted to say that...
Ow!
You abandoned me back there, you little wiener!
It's not my fault! You told everyone, and they freaked out.
Was that Florence?
She could be in trouble.
Come on!
Jess. Wait!
What the... Wait for me!
Wait!
There's something I need to tell you.
Declan told me that...
Wait for me!
What happened?
They killed Steve.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
Game on, babies! Chet's in The Hunt now!
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -