1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,442 This programme contains some scenes 2 00:00:04,467 --> 00:00:08,125 of a sexual nature from the start and strong language 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:14,960 - Here. - Oh... 4 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:05,360 Ready? 5 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,520 As I'll ever be. 6 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,720 Slow. 7 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,239 What? 8 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,519 No, it's good. 9 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,079 - "Good." - You know what I mean. 10 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,639 Surely it ought to be better than "good." 11 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,439 You're telling me, pal! 12 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,999 - Joy, come on, if we can't... - All right, all right, I'm sorry! 13 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,039 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 14 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,639 I'm just... I'm in a lot of pain, and I'm just feeling 15 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,960 - really self-conscious. - That makes two of us. 16 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,901 Well, if you just, I mean, if you... 17 00:01:54,902 --> 00:01:57,399 More of technique to kind of get in that way. 18 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,520 Sorry, "technique"? 19 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:00,640 You know what I mean. 20 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,039 No! No, I'm not sure I do, actually. 21 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,359 I'm not the one with the problem, Joy, so don't try and... 22 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,520 - I'm not trying... - ..needle away at my... 23 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:13,680 ...craft. 24 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:15,880 Your craft? 25 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,799 I am sorry, skilled woodsman. 26 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,039 You're right, we really need to work on it. 27 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,439 You know what, how about instead of making jokes... 28 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,959 No, all right, all right, all right! 29 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,440 No, I'd like to finish, please. 30 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,685 I think you've been using all this as an excuse. 31 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:34,679 What? 32 00:02:34,704 --> 00:02:36,144 And I think you have been for months. 33 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,600 I don't think you want to have sex with me, Joy. 34 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,680 Blimey, Neil's keen. 35 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,879 ? What would you do if you saw me dying? ? 36 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,199 ? What would you do? What would you do? ? 37 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,439 ? What would you do? What would you do? ? 38 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:37,120 ? What would you do if you saw me dead? ? 39 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,239 ? What would you do if ? ? you know the story? ? 40 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,119 ? What would you do? What would you do? ? 41 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,449 ? What would you do? What would you do? ? 42 00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:52,679 ? What would you do if you were the only one? ? 43 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,480 Mum, have you seen my shoes? 44 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,359 What? 45 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,159 Just... I wish you'd... 46 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,733 They're in the kitchen 47 00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:04,039 - by the back door. - How come? 48 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,519 Because I polished them. 49 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,660 - Why? - They were covered in shit! 50 00:04:09,979 --> 00:04:11,059 You're mental. 51 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,840 ? What would you do ? ? if you caught me leaving? ? 52 00:04:14,841 --> 00:04:18,714 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 53 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:25,320 ? What would you do if I told you look away? ? 54 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,560 Bye. 55 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:35,319 ? What would you do if you heard me screaming? ? 56 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,080 - Morning! - Morning. 57 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:45,599 ? What would you do ? ? if you were the only one? ? 58 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,440 ? Oh, would you hesitate at all? ? 59 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,199 ? Or fear losing me to my misery? ? 60 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,542 See you later, ya filthy animal. 61 00:04:55,543 --> 00:04:58,199 ? Cos I've already lost you ? 62 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,519 ? Already lost you ? 63 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:06,239 ? So I don't really care if you mind ? 64 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:11,800 ? Got to lay it on the line. ? 65 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,399 Oh, Neil, you punctual bugger. 66 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,060 Morning, Claire! 67 00:05:58,840 --> 00:05:59,879 Ah... 68 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:00,919 Ahhh... 69 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,400 Um... 70 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,000 Ahhh. 71 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,359 Oh, just, um... 72 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,279 ...looking for a present for... 73 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,999 ...for Rita. 74 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,479 It's, uh... 75 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,120 It's hard to know where to start. 76 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:04,839 - Morning, sir. - Morning. 77 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,040 - Morning, sir. - Morning! 78 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,799 Morning, Claire. 79 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,840 How goes it? 80 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,120 Everything all right? 81 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,440 Thank you! 82 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,559 Here's a question. 83 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,399 How often do you masturbate? 84 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,039 Nice. 85 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,199 I'm interested. 86 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,490 Why? 87 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,413 Once or twice a week. 88 00:07:40,113 --> 00:07:41,159 You're kidding? 89 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,779 I'm, like, once or twice a day at this point. 90 00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:45,080 Well, you're nothing if not thorough. 91 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,439 I think I walked in on my mum having a wank. 92 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,799 Shit! I think that means the world has to pretty much implode now. 93 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,119 I'm just saying. 94 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,759 She's allowed to masturbate! 95 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,919 But I thought old people were supposed to go off sex. 96 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,159 It's, like, Darwin and shit. 97 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,400 Your mum isn't that old. 98 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:05,600 She's pretty old. 99 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:07,919 What's up? 100 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,279 Tom's mum's been flicking the bean. 101 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,119 I'm in. Hit me. Details? 102 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,600 You flat out disgust me. 103 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:21,640 Either he was finishing up, or he was just getting going. 104 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,760 Oh, my God. 105 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,879 He had a catalogue. 106 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,079 - Catalogue? - Yeah, like, a... 107 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,279 As in, like a mail order underwear catalogue. 108 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,599 Oh, Jesus. 109 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,519 I mean, he reached for his belt and I was like, 110 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,280 "What the actual fuck?" 111 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,580 I'm so sorry, Claire. 112 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,940 What do I do? 113 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,360 Presumably Janet's got to know? 114 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:53,600 Hmm. 115 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,940 How would you feel, in the first instance, if I had a word with him? 116 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,839 And then, you know, of course, if we... 117 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,279 ...if we feel, actually... 118 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,919 You know, if we decide we feel a line has actually been... then... 119 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:10,959 Yeah. 120 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,960 We'll speak to Janet, no question. 121 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,660 I really am sorry, Claire. 122 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,199 Urgh... 123 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,559 Oh, no, gave up years ago. 124 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:23,599 Oh! 125 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,759 Sorry. 126 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,120 I knew that. 127 00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:28,813 Freak. 128 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,200 - Will you have some water? - Thank you. 129 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,279 Elaine? 130 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,360 No? OK. 131 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,159 It's a... It's a beautiful garden. 132 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,200 Aw, thank you. 133 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,720 Tricky time of year, er, um... 134 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:15,960 Autumn and... 135 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,000 ...winter round the corner. 136 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,080 Coming frost. 137 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,560 So, how do...? Um... 138 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,239 What's the...? 139 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:32,199 I mean, do you want us to, er, get this ball rolling or...? 140 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,239 It's up to you. 141 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,359 I can start by explaining a little about myself. OK. 142 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,999 How I like to work. 143 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,799 The last 20 years, 144 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,159 I've been working with a mixture of individuals and couples, 145 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,799 using primarily psychodynamic and psychoanalytic techniques. 146 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,879 I like to work with a small number of clients, 147 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,359 often over a period of years. 148 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,119 So, no quick-fixes here, I'm afraid. 149 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,799 And, if after this initial session you decide to move forward, 150 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,479 we should aim to meet at this time and this location 151 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,079 each and every week. 152 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,799 And if you cancel or you're unable to attend a session, 153 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,799 you will, I'm afraid, still be charged. 154 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,719 I'm conscious this might sound a little mercenary. 155 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,559 But the purpose, or the aim, 156 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,719 is to create a time and a space which is entirely yours, 157 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,919 week on week. 158 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,359 A private, safe, well-bounded space 159 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,240 where frank, intimate discussions can take place. 160 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,319 But this might not be what you two are after. 161 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,919 So, um, you know, in that case, let's... 162 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,359 Please, let's have a conversation about that. 163 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:39,039 But the purpose or the goal of this first session is very much 164 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,220 to see if the three of us might be able to work together. 165 00:11:41,221 --> 00:11:44,460 So, feel free to size me up. 166 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,120 I think that all sounds... 167 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,399 Well, we... 168 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,879 Maybe a bit about us? 169 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:52,919 Mmm. 170 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,540 So, this was... I was the one who suggested... 171 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,039 Um... Maybe that's a good... 172 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:05,319 So, some friends of ours, I said to them, I said that Elaine and I... 173 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,919 I said that we've been having a few... And he said, 174 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,599 "Well, have you thought about...?" 175 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,639 Cos him and his wife, they'd been... 176 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,679 You know... Though they called it analysis, 177 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,239 I don't know if that...? 178 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,519 Therapy...? 179 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,319 But they said, he said, um, my friend... 180 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,519 ...our friend, um, that it was a godsend. 181 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,599 They're his words. 182 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:29,720 And he is... he is a hard bloke to please! 183 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,519 Um, and then that got me thinking, 184 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,719 "Well, if it can work then why not?" 185 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,319 So, we looked at your website.. 186 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,359 Great. 187 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,799 ...and we both really liked the look of that. 188 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,359 - Great. - So... 189 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,439 You will tell me, won't you, if I'm, um, talking too... 190 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:49,999 Or rabbiting on. 191 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,340 I don't, um... I'm not trying to take over. 192 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,360 Um... 193 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,680 I suppose... 194 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,639 ...in a nutshell... 195 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,680 ...um... 196 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,800 ...something seems to have... 197 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,000 ...in... in the past year or so... 198 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,120 ...and I, um... 199 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,480 ...I think all I want, really, is for us to just be able to get along... 200 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,080 ...like we used to. You know? 201 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:10,039 Perhaps, James, you could say a little more about what you mean by, 202 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,300 "getting along like we used to?" 203 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,720 Do you want an example? 204 00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:16,066 Yeah, great. 205 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,600 Um... 206 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,039 Hey, so, what're you doing tonight? 207 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,799 Just cos my dad's pretty much going to be out, and I thought 208 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:32,120 we could finish that documentary on the lactose intolerant Mormons? 209 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,279 Shit, do you like Franzen? 210 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,740 I love Franzen. 211 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,439 Sorry, were you talking to me? 212 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,519 I... I was just saying, The Corrections is, like, 213 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,919 - one of my favourite books. - Oh, OK. 214 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,759 Have... have you read Purity? 215 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,369 It's his... It's his new one, his newest one. 216 00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:53,389 I haven't. 217 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:56,799 It's seriously, seriously, um... I mean, the bits I've... 218 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,139 I haven't actually... I've only just... But the bits I've... 219 00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:00,344 Oh, OK. 220 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,759 What the fuck was that? 221 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,519 It's called conversation. 222 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,460 Oh! I think we might need a bucket to mop up all the semen. 223 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,999 Your coccyx, as you can see here, is looking great. 224 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,559 Oh, well, I've always prided myself on having a great-looking coccyx. 225 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,279 Any pain still? 226 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,900 Well, some. 227 00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:38,119 And where are we up to with physio? 228 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,679 I'm about to start hydrotherapy. 229 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:40,719 Great. 230 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,359 - Sports? - I don't really do any sports. 231 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,502 I mean, should I? Should I be...? 232 00:15:44,503 --> 00:15:47,639 We generally advise against anything too athletic at this stage. 233 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,695 - But... - Cycling? 234 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,999 I'd like to start cycling again. 235 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,959 Regular, light, day-to-day activities, absolutely. 236 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,120 What about sex? 237 00:15:56,473 --> 00:15:58,660 As long as the sex isn't too athletic. 238 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,759 We'll schedule another check-up, and in the meantime... 239 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,340 And these? What about these? 240 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,360 Oh! 241 00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:54,673 Oh...! 242 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,040 - Sorry. - Stalker! 243 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,399 I spoke to Neil. 244 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,759 Oh, shit. And? 245 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,519 He wants to speak to you himself. 246 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,559 Oh, no. 247 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,319 Offer you an apology in person. 248 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,319 He's... he's been having a bit of a... 249 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,919 Anyway, let's see how you're feeling once the two of you have... 250 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,639 - Spoken? - ..and if you still... 251 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,679 ...think that he shouldn't be wanking himself off 252 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,959 - in the department office? - If you... That's how you still... 253 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,080 ...then, yeah, then... 254 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,719 ...yeah, we'll absolutely speak to Janet. 255 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,279 Yeah, crazy thing is, I don't know why he doesn't just 256 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,620 use the disabled toilet like the rest of us. 257 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,800 Can I interest you in a drink? 258 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,320 My treat. 259 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:54,440 ? The black above is dense with stars 260 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,440 ? A million stars climb 261 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:13,000 ? Each one in flames like all of us 262 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,720 ? Glowing, slowly burning out 263 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:32,480 ? I am floating in space and time 264 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:42,360 ? In a mist of a million lights 265 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,920 ? Can anybody hear me? 266 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,720 ? Can you hear my heartbeat? ? 267 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:02,788 Can you hear me? 268 00:19:02,813 --> 00:19:03,948 Whoa! Whoa! 269 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,319 Nice wheels. 270 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,799 Been given the all clear. 271 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,962 Thought I'd take the old girl for a spin. 272 00:19:12,987 --> 00:19:14,864 Congratulations, old girl. 273 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,440 - Here, gimme a hand. - Please? 274 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,599 Please. 275 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,079 Does it hurt? 276 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,319 Oh, a bit. 277 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,599 How was your day? 278 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,719 Pretty, um, standard. 279 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,199 Yeah. Yours? 280 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,959 Yeah. Think I've probably landed myself a new couple. 281 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,560 - Cool. - Yeah. 282 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:40,058 We were going to Dublin, visit some friends, we're on the plane, 283 00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:42,919 and he says he needs to piss 284 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,240 and he's gone for what feels like an eternity. 285 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:50,439 So I'm thinking, you know, either he's working his way through 286 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,839 a particularly truculent... 287 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,199 ...Harry Plopper. 288 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,925 Harry Plopper? Wow, is that a...? That's... that's really a...? 289 00:19:57,926 --> 00:19:59,799 I mean, Alan, if anything, it's come and gone. 290 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,239 I am so out of touch. 291 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,959 Anyway, suddenly this announcement starts up. 292 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,839 Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. 293 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,479 I'd like to introduce you to one of our fellow passengers 294 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,519 who has a very special announcement to make. 295 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:13,999 - You're kidding? - Swear to God. 296 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:19,348 This is a message for Claire Pascal from your boyfriend Adam Cooper. 297 00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:22,959 He starts rattling off all this corny as fuck shit 298 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,680 and I'm just thinking, "Please, please let this be a hoax." 299 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,159 Please don't do this, I'm begging you. 300 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,340 Claire Pascal... 301 00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,060 ...will you marry me? 302 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,239 It was the worst hour and a bit of my life. 303 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:56,239 He wept, fucking uninterrupted for the rest of that flight. 304 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,700 Ugh! 305 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,639 Well, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, Claire. 306 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,599 Here's to not proposing, OR wanking in public. 307 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,348 Or truculent Harry... What was it? 308 00:21:11,349 --> 00:21:13,239 - Ploppers? - Truculent Harry Ploppers. 309 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,860 Wait a minute, I don't understand. Are we toasting complicated shits? 310 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:50,880 What time do you call this? 311 00:21:50,905 --> 00:21:52,184 - What? - Sit down. 312 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,160 Why, what's wrong? 313 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,080 Wha... 314 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,160 Tell me about your day. 315 00:22:15,817 --> 00:22:17,239 There was actually a bit of an issue. 316 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,469 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 317 00:22:18,494 --> 00:22:19,799 Was somebody misbehaving? 318 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,580 Um... yeah. 319 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,759 - Was it you? - Me? 320 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,866 - Huh. - No. 321 00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:28,159 No. 322 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,319 Oh, come on. You're always misbehaving. 323 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,079 I bet you've been really naughty. 324 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,520 Mm. Hm. 325 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,900 Joy, I'm... I'm... I'm quite tired. 326 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,660 Well, good. Because I am going... 327 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,400 ...to wake... you... up. 328 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,420 - Arms up. - Can I just... 329 00:22:51,445 --> 00:22:53,199 Can I just ask a question before...? 330 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,304 No more talking. 331 00:22:55,645 --> 00:22:56,844 OK, get up. 332 00:22:56,845 --> 00:22:57,959 I thought you said no more talking? 333 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,740 Disobedience will not be tolerated. Up. 334 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,120 Ah! 335 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,279 Mm! Oh! 336 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,719 - Joy. Joy... - Alan! 337 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,080 Joy. Claire walked in on Neil masturbating. 338 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,639 I'm sorry. 339 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,239 I know. I'm sorry. I really... I appreciate the... 340 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,359 ...the... the attempt. 341 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,867 But there's an awful lot on my... Playing on my... 342 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:31,903 The attempt? 343 00:23:31,928 --> 00:23:33,479 You know what I mean. You know what I mean. 344 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,400 It's... it's a lot to take in. 345 00:23:36,678 --> 00:23:40,319 It's... it's elaborate, is all I'm saying. 346 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,667 Well, I'm sorry 347 00:23:41,668 --> 00:23:46,959 my effort to try and resuscitate our flat-lining sex life... 348 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,799 Well, you... No, you're just putting words into my mouth. 349 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,708 Well, I was planning on putting something else in my mouth, 350 00:23:51,709 --> 00:23:53,071 but you should be so fucking lucky. 351 00:23:53,096 --> 00:23:55,399 I don't understand what's happening. 352 00:23:55,400 --> 00:24:00,079 So, what, you're annoyed at me because what I'm... I'm... I'm tired? 353 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,839 No! I'm disappointed because you're not prepared to... 354 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,119 What? 355 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:08,639 You said you didn't believe I wanted the two of us to have sex. 356 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,559 - So? - So I want it on record 357 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,399 that you are the one actively resisting intercourse. 358 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,319 But this isn't sex. 359 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,505 If you, if you'd been in bed and I'd come home 360 00:24:19,506 --> 00:24:22,475 and you'd been in bed and... and you said, 361 00:24:22,476 --> 00:24:26,079 "Er, hello, Alan, shall, shall we have sex this evening?" 362 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,884 I probably would've said "Yes, Joy, let's. How lovely." 363 00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:30,999 But when I come home, after the kind of day I've had... 364 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,799 God, you're so boring! 365 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,652 OK. Well, at least I'm not trying 366 00:24:34,677 --> 00:24:36,079 to start a brawl for no other reason... 367 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,799 I don't wan to have the same old sex. In fact, I refuse. 368 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,521 Well, at least, if we were having the same old sex 369 00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:42,519 we would, in fact, be having sex. 370 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,759 Why don't you want to try something different? 371 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,740 - Because... - Why can't you see 372 00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:49,479 this as an opportunity to try... 373 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,279 I'm more than happy to try something new! 374 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,579 I just don't want to try something 375 00:24:52,580 --> 00:24:54,900 completely and utterly fucking ridiculous! 376 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:17,520 ? Whispered something in your ear 377 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:27,280 ? It was a perverted thing to say 378 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,440 ? But I said it anyway 379 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,200 ? Made you smile and look away 380 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,639 ? Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby. ? 381 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,879 Kick! Kick! Really nice. Looking great, guys. 382 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,479 OK. We're gonna turn it up a bit. 383 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,640 And a double kick. 384 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,599 There we go! Really great. Keep it going! 385 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,039 Looking fantastic, guys. 386 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,480 And double kick. 387 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:14,839 Nice. 388 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,559 Really good. 389 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,599 And now we're going to go into a really nice stretch down... 390 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,960 ...and up. 391 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,160 OK. And to the side. 392 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,319 Great. And then back to the other side. 393 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,199 Really good, guys. 394 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,800 Once more. 395 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,980 You guys look great and... 396 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,048 OK. Er... not to alarm anyone, 397 00:26:39,049 --> 00:26:41,719 but it looks as if we might have a little problem. 398 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,679 If we can just leave the pool. If we can move to the side, guys. 399 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,319 Thanks, um, yeah, we're going to take a break there. 400 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,119 Yeah, great. OK, guys?? 401 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:51,920 Great. Thank you. 402 00:26:54,371 --> 00:26:56,159 Well, that was quite an experience. 403 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,399 Oh, yeah. 404 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,399 I've always wanted to piss in a pool. 405 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:01,719 So you're the culprit. 406 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,480 - I wish. - Ha-ha! 407 00:27:05,780 --> 00:27:07,279 I'm Marvin. 408 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,880 Joy. Hi. 409 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,519 Um, see you next week, then. 410 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:13,600 You will. 411 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,870 I'll make sure I bring my goggles 412 00:27:15,871 --> 00:27:17,919 in case you end up pissing up a storm again. 413 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,160 Ha. 414 00:27:28,927 --> 00:27:30,207 How are you doing? 415 00:27:31,033 --> 00:27:32,273 How are YOU doing? 416 00:27:34,173 --> 00:27:36,373 Oh, it's going to be like that, is it? 417 00:27:38,146 --> 00:27:39,266 I'm interested. 418 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,960 - I'm interested in you. - I'm interested in you. 419 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,900 Do you know something? 420 00:27:55,901 --> 00:27:57,902 This is not what I thought therapy was going to be like. 421 00:27:57,927 --> 00:27:59,559 - Oh, no? - No. 422 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,160 I mean, how long have we been doing this now? 423 00:28:01,185 --> 00:28:02,145 Long time. 424 00:28:02,146 --> 00:28:04,021 Yeah, I'm still waiting for you to wheel out one of those, 425 00:28:04,022 --> 00:28:06,297 er, what do you call it, lying down things? 426 00:28:06,298 --> 00:28:07,285 Chaise longue? 427 00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:09,127 Is it? I dunno, the thing with the... with the... 428 00:28:09,128 --> 00:28:10,547 ...lying down and I'm looking up 429 00:28:10,548 --> 00:28:12,300 and you got a proper wiry beard going on. 430 00:28:12,301 --> 00:28:14,599 With your fucking pocket watch or whatever, 431 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,679 and I'm telling some story about my dad's pendulous cock and balls, 432 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,479 about how I've harboured some... 433 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,119 ...you know cos I saw it when I was eight, 434 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,956 and I'm still trying to get the image out of my head. 435 00:28:22,957 --> 00:28:24,410 We can talk about your dad's 436 00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:25,538 pendulous cock and balls if you like, Jason. 437 00:28:25,563 --> 00:28:26,980 Well... 438 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,420 Or dreams. That's what people talk about, innit? 439 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,000 Sometimes. 440 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,560 - I don't really dream. - No? 441 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,560 You're more interested in the small stuff, seems to me. 442 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,719 Which might be no bad thing, by the way. 443 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,399 Help me understand what you mean by "small stuff". 444 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,119 What it means, for you, the difference between small stuff 445 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,439 and big stuff, what that is. 446 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,040 Why there needs to be a difference. 447 00:29:02,626 --> 00:29:03,986 Some things... 448 00:29:06,493 --> 00:29:08,173 ...have to matter more than others. 449 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,120 Hm. What matters to you, Jason? 450 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,039 I do have the occasional dream, truth be told. 451 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,919 - Really? - Mm. Yeah, yeah, well... 452 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:23,960 ...sometimes. 453 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,720 A'ight, there's this one. 454 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,480 OK, I'm coming home. 455 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,679 I'm coming home, and I get in, 456 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,460 and the power's off. 457 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,679 Except the fridge. 458 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,360 Fridge is the only thing that seems to be... 459 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,280 - And who do the shoes belong to? - Fuck knows. 460 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,999 Shoes aren't even the weird bit. 461 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,479 The weird bit is when I turn around and... 462 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,220 ...and there's a fucking... 463 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,120 - Goodness. - And she... I mean, she's ripped. 464 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,160 I can feel it. 465 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,199 I can feel my eyes... 466 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,260 ...fucking, starting to, you know... 467 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:20,840 Drifting. 468 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,040 And then what happens? 469 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,280 I wake up. 470 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,400 And can you tell? Is it possible to see who the intruder is? 471 00:30:37,193 --> 00:30:38,313 No. 472 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:47,080 But I'm saying, generally speaking, I don't really dream. 473 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,080 - OK, look. - Let me see. 474 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:01,640 Holy shit. 475 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,399 Have you heard of The Kraus Project? 476 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,799 Yeah, yeah, sure. 477 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,159 It's great. 478 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,519 It's a bunch of essays? 479 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:12,906 Yeah, sort of, yeah. 480 00:31:12,907 --> 00:31:15,449 Franzen, like, slaved over translating these long, dense 481 00:31:15,450 --> 00:31:17,119 Austrian essays by this guy called Kraus 482 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,799 who was like a satirist in the early part of the 20th century. 483 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,959 - Is this actually happening? - Have you read it? 484 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,159 Most of it, yeah. 485 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,720 I mean, not all of it but most of it. 486 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,520 Cool. Thanks. 487 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,220 Holy fuck! 488 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,879 Was that me or did some actual flirting just occur? 489 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,224 That was some of the dullest flirting 490 00:31:39,225 --> 00:31:41,879 I've literally ever seen in my entire life. 491 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,159 No way. 492 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,039 - She wants you. - What? 493 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,000 You essentially just copulated. 494 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,239 Anyway, so I was, like, "Well, listen, I didn't come 495 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,839 "to Amsterdam solely to get stoned and hook up with randomers. 496 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,959 "I can do that at home for free. 497 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,640 "I want to be with you." 498 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,400 And she was, like, "Well, that was never the deal." 499 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,799 And then she said something about 500 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,799 getting stoned and hooking up with randomers 501 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,660 is pretty much the raison d'etre of Amsterdam. 502 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,940 And I thought about making a joke about the Dutch Masters... 503 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,679 ...but then I didn't, so then we just... 504 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:30,880 ...stood there. 505 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,279 Mum, please spare me the silent therapist thing. 506 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,959 I wasn't aware that's what I was doing. 507 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,720 That's because it's, like, your default factory setting. 508 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,400 Stop. I'm sorry. 509 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,159 I really liked Mel. 510 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,420 Me too. 511 00:32:57,146 --> 00:32:59,280 I would've come and picked you up at the station, you know. 512 00:32:59,305 --> 00:33:00,530 It's cool. 513 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,380 So what's new, how's Dad? 514 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:19,919 Try it now! 515 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,840 Ooh! 516 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,959 Now, look, I don't know how you're going to feel about this, 517 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,820 so I'm just going to put it out there. 518 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,119 I'm going to smoke a joint... 519 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:49,119 ...and you'd be very welcome to join me? 520 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:54,020 Or if you'd rather sit this one out then that would also be fine. 521 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,479 Whatever floats your particular... boat. 522 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,580 Or not. Either way. 523 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,439 Oh! 524 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,279 Hi! Hello, Naomi. 525 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,119 - Rita, hey. - Hi, how are you? 526 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,559 - I didn't realise you were back. - It's true. 527 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,839 How... how... how was it? Erm, did you, erm... 528 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,279 - Yeah. - It was, er, Europe, wasn't it? 529 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,759 - Yes. We were sort of all over. - Oh, right. 530 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,140 It was cool. 531 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,880 - Cool hair. - Oh. 532 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,999 Obviously how you had it before was... 533 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,280 Oh, no. Thanks. 534 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,540 Erm... Oh, can I interest you in a cannoli? 535 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,020 "Leave the gun, take the cannoli!" 536 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,718 God. Erm... 537 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,519 Please, er, it's... 538 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:46,840 Er... 539 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,439 Oh, my God! 540 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,820 What, too much limoncello? 541 00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,719 Perfect. 542 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,800 Ah, great. 543 00:35:04,117 --> 00:35:05,689 - You after Mum? - Er, well, yes. 544 00:35:05,690 --> 00:35:07,520 - Only if she's, er... - She's with a client, but... 545 00:35:07,545 --> 00:35:09,672 Oh, well, erm... 546 00:35:09,673 --> 00:35:10,620 Oh, it's nothing. 547 00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:12,704 Welcome to come in and wait if you want. 548 00:35:14,166 --> 00:35:15,526 Right, thanks. 549 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,800 Thanks. 550 00:35:21,522 --> 00:35:28,980 I find it unfathomable that you have never heard of Warren G. 551 00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:33,340 I mean, if this doesn't blow your mind, I mean, 552 00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:35,005 I-I don't know what will. 553 00:35:36,895 --> 00:35:40,215 Regulate by Warren G & Nate Dogg 554 00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:41,439 ? Regulators 555 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,079 ? Regulate any stealin' of this property 556 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,839 ? We're damn good, too 557 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,479 ? But you can't be any geek off the street 558 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,879 ? You gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean 559 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,479 ? Earn your keep 560 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:56,039 ? Regulators, mount up! 561 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,799 ? It was a clear black night A clear white moon... ? 562 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,879 - Yes! - See? 563 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:05,799 - Yes! Ah! - Mind blown! 564 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,759 ? Just hit the east side of the IBC 565 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,839 ? On a mission, tryin' to find Mr Warren G... ? 566 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,820 Warren, Warren, where have you been? 567 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,980 Neil apologised. 568 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:21,719 He did. 569 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:23,240 - He did. - Did he? 570 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,799 Are you asking me a question? I just... I wasn't sure? 571 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,079 What did... what did I say? 572 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:31,279 "He did." 573 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,679 I'm sorry, I don't know. I think I'm quite... 574 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,180 ...stoned. 575 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:42,559 He said, er, he's been having a little bit of trouble... 576 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:43,759 ...at home. 577 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,040 Hm. 578 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,700 Maybe we ought to just... let him keep wanking? 579 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,319 What time is it, please? 580 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,119 What time do you need to leave? 581 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,480 I don't know. What time do you need to leave? 582 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,559 Erm, this is my... 583 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,160 I live here, so... 584 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,759 I suggested trying... something. 585 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:51,679 Suggested we try, erm... "Now, I'm open," I said. 586 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:56,199 If there's anything in-in particular you'd like to try, 587 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,279 would like the two of us to try... 588 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,039 I'm not suggesting that, erm, that we enjoyed it. 589 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,839 I-I think we both felt that all the screaming and the panting and the... 590 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,319 ...relentless pounding really wasn't our cup of tea. 591 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,999 But, erm, one of the women, erm... 592 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:21,054 Well, one of the women in particular, 593 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,039 erm... 594 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:28,519 And, historically, porn isn't a turn on for me, but this, 595 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,959 this one woman in particular, 596 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,700 I... 597 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,479 ...I couldn't... 598 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,140 Joy, erm, I couldn't... I couldn't take my eyes off her. 599 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,559 And I love, I love Neil. 600 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,319 God, he's terrific, he really is. 601 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,719 But I-I think sometimes to myself... 602 00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:55,119 I have thought to myself, erm, 603 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,760 what if? 604 00:38:59,753 --> 00:39:01,233 You know? 605 00:39:47,806 --> 00:39:49,446 - Hey. - Hi. 606 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,319 - Listen, I'm sorry... - I'm sorry about... 607 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,199 I promise I'll try to be more civil next time 608 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,840 you reject me outright. 609 00:40:00,006 --> 00:40:01,180 Um... 610 00:40:01,866 --> 00:40:04,020 I'm joking. That was a joke. 611 00:40:09,053 --> 00:40:10,093 And I-I'm... 612 00:40:13,346 --> 00:40:14,866 ...I'm sorry, too. 613 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,240 I think Neil and Rita might be separating. 614 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:31,920 Shit. 615 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:40,960 ? Freedom 616 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:46,480 ? Balance 617 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:52,319 ? So many friends 618 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,960 ? Wish that for me... ? 619 00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,719 - Hi. - Hi. How are you? 620 00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:01,000 Wet. 621 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,600 - Joy, wasn't it? - Yeah. Marvin. 622 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:09,600 The Martian. 623 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,319 Well, I'll see you next week. 624 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:14,360 You will. 625 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,320 Hiya. 626 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,680 Oh, yes! 627 00:42:19,740 --> 00:42:20,780 Tea? 628 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,239 So that's your office? 629 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:27,999 It is, mm-hm. 630 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,279 What happens if you bump into a, you know, client, 631 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,959 someone you're working with, out and about? 632 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,679 - Not a lot. - God, I'd be mortified. 633 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,420 Are you in therapy, Marvin? 634 00:42:39,993 --> 00:42:43,353 I could imagine being hypothetically mortified. 635 00:42:43,739 --> 00:42:45,059 Antonia, my... 636 00:42:46,345 --> 00:42:49,519 ...ex, she wanted us to. 637 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,420 - What did you want? - Not that. 638 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,822 Although if I'd known it could be as relaxed as all this 639 00:42:54,823 --> 00:42:55,770 then who knows? 640 00:42:55,795 --> 00:42:58,180 You're very welcome to take a closer look. 641 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,200 - Any good? - Oh. 642 00:43:07,510 --> 00:43:09,279 It's great. 643 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:10,389 Out of ten? 644 00:43:10,390 --> 00:43:12,999 Oh, at least a solid nine and a half. 645 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,320 - High praise! - Mm-hm. 646 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,039 What's the... I don't know what you'd call it, 647 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:21,878 the most common, like, complaint? 648 00:43:21,879 --> 00:43:24,279 You know, cause for concern. 649 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,620 Hm. It varies. 650 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:28,880 I bet. 651 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,319 I mean, I get lack of desire a lot. 652 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,199 Lack of passion. 653 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,045 "How can we get it back? What happened? Where did it go? 654 00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:38,860 "It used to be so natural, now it's almost impossible." 655 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:44,599 I mean, generally speaking, we are very bad in this country at, erm, 656 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,680 discussing our private lives in public. 657 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,120 We feel tremendous shame. 658 00:43:51,293 --> 00:43:53,013 Too ashamed of our needs. 659 00:43:54,526 --> 00:43:57,926 Which means a lot of the time, by the time people make it to me, 660 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,000 often their relationship is, erm... 661 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:03,860 ...haemorrhaging... 662 00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:05,740 ...very... 663 00:44:06,893 --> 00:44:08,093 ...badly. 664 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,760 - Jesus. - Yeah. 665 00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:17,340 What about if... 666 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:23,560 Sorry. 667 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,520 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 668 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,039 I think I need to change hands. 669 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,599 No, no, no, don't worry about it! 670 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,280 No, it's my bad hand. It's not allowed to be athletic. 671 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,879 I don't even know what you do. 672 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,079 I-I work for the Hertfordshire Constabulary. 673 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,893 - No, you don't. - CID. 674 00:45:28,918 --> 00:45:29,999 No, you don't! 675 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,640 - It's true, I do! - Shit! 676 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,279 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 677 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,359 Oh! 678 00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,120 Ahhh! 679 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,080 I'm staying with my brother. 680 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,080 It's been hardly any time at all, but... 681 00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:43,100 ...I miss her. 682 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,100 I thought I'd feel really angry, but it's not, erm... 683 00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:53,820 It's like a much purer form of sadness. 684 00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:00,480 Oh, do you want? 685 00:47:00,505 --> 00:47:01,545 Oh... 686 00:47:02,786 --> 00:47:05,140 Oh, Alan, can I ask you something? 687 00:47:05,691 --> 00:47:07,771 How would you feel about accompanying me 688 00:47:07,796 --> 00:47:09,956 to a session of kung fu? 689 00:47:10,243 --> 00:47:12,239 I've got a lot of excess energy at the moment, 690 00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:15,719 I'm feeling, and I've always loved Bruce Lee. 691 00:47:15,720 --> 00:47:17,160 Um... 692 00:47:19,099 --> 00:47:22,139 ...Neil, I don't really know anything about martial arts. 693 00:47:22,164 --> 00:47:23,860 Well, it's beginners. 694 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,378 Website says you just need a tracksuit and, er, 695 00:47:27,379 --> 00:47:29,940 a T-shirt and a willingness to try. 696 00:47:30,953 --> 00:47:33,913 Yeah, anyway, it's, erm... You don't have to give me an answer now. 697 00:47:33,938 --> 00:47:36,660 It's, you know, it's just a thought. 698 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:51,880 Joy. 699 00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:55,400 Yeah? 700 00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:07,359 Joy, I'm really sorry, but me and Claire, we had sex. 701 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:11,879 She was having trouble. She couldn't get her car started. 702 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,580 It was raining, and... 703 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,839 ...and we smoked a joint 704 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,340 and then we listened to some Warren G 705 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,479 and then she went down on me, Joy. 706 00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,380 She went down on me and then we had sex. 707 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,200 Joy, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. 708 00:48:41,180 --> 00:48:43,780 Alan, I tossed off a man from my hydrotherapy group. 709 00:48:49,779 --> 00:48:51,220 What?! 710 00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,599 Jesus fucking Christ, Joy! 711 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,239 I mean, when? 712 00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:56,600 This afternoon. 713 00:48:56,625 --> 00:48:58,199 I mean, I mean, how? I mean who, who even... 714 00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,919 Well, he offered me a lift home 715 00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,879 and, in order to say thank you, I invited... 716 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,239 What, you grabbed his dick?! 717 00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:05,479 You know what? We are both culpable. We've both... 718 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,399 The difference is I've been feeling really guilty ever since! 719 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,398 So have I! What makes you think... 720 00:49:09,399 --> 00:49:11,670 To me right now, you look like the opposite of guilty. 721 00:49:11,671 --> 00:49:12,938 Oh, you mean I'm innocent, then. 722 00:49:12,939 --> 00:49:15,646 There is a world of difference between tossing someone off 723 00:49:15,647 --> 00:49:18,273 - you hardly even know... - Yeah, but don't you see...? 724 00:49:18,274 --> 00:49:19,386 No, what happened, 725 00:49:19,387 --> 00:49:21,889 the difference between what happened between me and Claire is... 726 00:49:21,890 --> 00:49:23,200 - Worse? Is more duplicitous? - No! 727 00:49:23,225 --> 00:49:24,999 Is arguably more of a betrayal? 728 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,039 I opted to toss him off because I was aware 729 00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,439 that doing anything more was... 730 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:29,889 Sorry, you opted? What, you happened to be passing 731 00:49:29,890 --> 00:49:31,243 a selection of penises and you opted...? 732 00:49:31,268 --> 00:49:32,275 You know what? 733 00:49:32,276 --> 00:49:35,100 No, you know what? I think you're behaving... 734 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:39,719 You are angry and upset, and I can understand that, 735 00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:43,079 but can we at least try and... 736 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,820 ...at least try and acknowledge that we are both at fault? 737 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,799 OK, OK, OK, fine, fine. I'm sorry. 738 00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:55,100 You should be. 739 00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:58,039 You fucked a colleague, stoned! You should be sorry! 740 00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,160 Yeah, and that... 741 00:50:01,471 --> 00:50:04,500 ...that's what I've been trying to say. 742 00:50:09,787 --> 00:50:11,147 Why did you do it? 743 00:50:11,172 --> 00:50:12,212 Why did YOU? 744 00:50:13,253 --> 00:50:14,513 Honestly? 745 00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,760 What else is there at this point? 746 00:50:27,026 --> 00:50:29,306 I don't enjoy having sex with you. 747 00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:41,319 I think, in the last, recently, in the last, I don't know, two, 748 00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,180 maybe four... I just... 749 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:46,920 I haven't really been enjoying our sex life. 750 00:50:49,359 --> 00:50:51,140 I think we've stopped having fun, 751 00:50:51,980 --> 00:50:55,839 and I think perhaps we stopped communicating, in a way, 752 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,279 about what we... 753 00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,479 About the things we enjoy or what we want, or might want, 754 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,480 or might have wanted to try or... 755 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,319 And I think perhaps we're both... 756 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:09,520 I don't know... 757 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,580 I think, somehow, we've become unacceptably boring in bed. 758 00:51:19,667 --> 00:51:22,587 I-I didn't go looking, if that's what you mean, I wasn't actively... 759 00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:24,040 - Neither was I! - And I feel awful, 760 00:51:24,065 --> 00:51:25,252 I feel fucking awful about it. 761 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,999 I know. Listen, I'm not angry with you, I don't... 762 00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:29,919 Well, maybe you should be. 763 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:33,508 Maybe the fact that you're not, maybe... maybe it makes me think, 764 00:51:33,509 --> 00:51:36,680 well, is this something you wanted to happen? 765 00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:43,639 I don't want to re-invent the wheel every time we go to bed, no. 766 00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,439 No, nor do I, but, you know, sometimes, 767 00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:47,359 I feel like doing something different. 768 00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,199 I have felt like doing something different. 769 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,400 Well, then, I think we just need to be more... 770 00:51:52,793 --> 00:51:54,193 ...organised. 771 00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,239 Why? 772 00:51:57,240 --> 00:52:03,359 Because I feel happier knowing what my day is going to entail. 773 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,749 Yeah, and if that makes me unadventurous, you know what...? 774 00:52:05,750 --> 00:52:07,482 No, no it doesn't make you unadventurous. 775 00:52:07,483 --> 00:52:11,660 All it makes us, I think, is... different. 776 00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,679 Tell me what you did with Claire. What you and Claire did. 777 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:23,919 I already have, haven't I? 778 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:27,320 - No, in detail. - What? No! 779 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,600 - You're serious? - Hm. 780 00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:37,000 How did being with her compare to being with me? 781 00:52:38,253 --> 00:52:42,340 I can't even... What... What is this?! 782 00:52:43,739 --> 00:52:46,259 I'd like to enjoy having sex 783 00:52:46,284 --> 00:52:48,884 and, ideally, I'd like to have more of it... 784 00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:51,720 ...outside of this room. 785 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,759 You know, not just below these sheets, 786 00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:58,240 keeping our voices down once or twice a month if we're lucky. 787 00:52:59,973 --> 00:53:01,213 But if you don't... 788 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:07,020 ...if you don't mind the way it is then I think... 789 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,480 ...I think you need to say something. 790 00:53:15,606 --> 00:53:18,180 Sounds to me like you're saying you've had enough. 791 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,360 Of us. Of me. 792 00:53:20,385 --> 00:53:22,000 - No, that has nothing to do with... - The sex is boring. 793 00:53:22,001 --> 00:53:24,039 We've not been honest. In fact, we've been lying to each other. 794 00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,439 OK, yeah, those are all statements of fact, but I'm not... 795 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:27,919 As is the fact that, for most people, 796 00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,229 this would mean the end of their marriage. 797 00:53:29,230 --> 00:53:30,945 I don't give a shit what this would mean for most people. 798 00:53:30,946 --> 00:53:33,605 So then you tell me, how do we come back from this? 799 00:53:33,606 --> 00:53:36,900 OK, I am not saying I've had enough. Look at me. 800 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,660 I am no way near having had enough. 801 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:42,340 I love you. 802 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,319 I love being with you. 803 00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,488 I love the fact that we've been together as long as we have. 804 00:53:46,489 --> 00:53:47,860 I love that. 805 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,759 But, yeah, we have a problem because... 806 00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,479 I love you, too. 807 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:54,520 So you should. 808 00:54:02,693 --> 00:54:05,860 OK, so when you say you want to have more sex, 809 00:54:07,420 --> 00:54:12,140 do you mean more sex with me... 810 00:54:13,220 --> 00:54:14,620 ...or do you mean...? 811 00:54:17,033 --> 00:54:18,793 Well, do you want to have sex with me? 812 00:54:23,877 --> 00:54:28,040 Well, for crying out loud, let's not! Let's just stop! 813 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:31,900 Stop? 814 00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:36,980 I don't know, I mean... Maybe? 815 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:44,799 Stop having sex with each other, you and me? 816 00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:45,974 I don't know, why not?! 817 00:54:45,975 --> 00:54:49,599 I mean, for once in our lives, we could do whatever the fuck we want 818 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,279 and see what happens. 819 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:55,359 You know, without agonising over it or feeling guilty or... 820 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,919 ...sheepish or punishing ourselves 821 00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,279 for happening to want different things. 822 00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:03,200 I'm not sure I understand what it is you're getting at. 823 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:10,999 OK, would you like to have sex with Claire again, yes or no? 824 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,559 I'm not answering that. No! 825 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:17,759 There is... There is no answer to that question that can end well. 826 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:18,919 No. 827 00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:23,559 The only way this can end well is if you answer that question honestly. 828 00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,119 Would YOU like...? 829 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:26,639 To have sex with Claire? No. 830 00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:27,880 You know what I mean. 831 00:55:30,073 --> 00:55:31,713 Would I like to see Marvin again? 832 00:55:31,738 --> 00:55:34,178 - His name's Marvin? - Yes. 833 00:55:34,203 --> 00:55:37,820 Yes, I would. And don't steer this off course. 834 00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:49,960 Yes, fine. Fuck, yes. Of course I would. 835 00:55:52,367 --> 00:55:53,927 Then why don't we? 836 00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,919 ? Come take my hand 837 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,239 ? Walk with me 838 00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:02,199 ? Mmm-hmm 839 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,880 ? Come take my hand