1 00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:03,287 - Previously on Wynonna Earp: - A kid is missing. 2 00:00:03,312 --> 00:00:06,194 - I'm retiring. - To Sheriff Nicole Haught! 3 00:00:06,219 --> 00:00:08,233 Charlie. 4 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,547 This you flirting? 5 00:00:09,572 --> 00:00:11,813 My baby daddy is married to a vampire. 6 00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:13,008 I don't like you at all. 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,891 - Are you sure? - Stop pretending... 8 00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,694 that this isn't what you came here for. 9 00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:20,555 He was kind, honest. His name was Julian. 10 00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,200 - My dad was an angel. - You were born out of love. 11 00:00:23,225 --> 00:00:26,486 - We can find Julian if you want. - What's in it for me? 12 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:39,038 Okay, this is the last time we're doing this. 13 00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:41,959 Since we both have such stressful jobs and everything, 14 00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:44,484 we could keep doing this to take the edge off. 15 00:00:44,509 --> 00:00:45,408 No. 16 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,750 I'm all edge, Charlie. If you can't handle that... 17 00:00:53,807 --> 00:00:56,648 You may handle me however you please. 18 00:00:57,856 --> 00:01:01,946 Good morning, guys. I'm Deputy Nicole Haught and I am here... 19 00:01:01,971 --> 00:01:03,781 - Shitty-shit-shit! - Whoa, whoa. 20 00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,441 I thought that was going pretty good. 21 00:01:05,478 --> 00:01:07,328 How's Purgatory's finest this morning? 22 00:01:07,353 --> 00:01:08,054 Here we go. 23 00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:10,534 Thank you, sincerely, for all that you do. 24 00:01:10,559 --> 00:01:12,140 I know it's not an easy job. 25 00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:14,784 Nedley calls us hose jockeys. 26 00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:19,164 Uh, Sheriff Nedley's sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired. 27 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:22,199 And rest assured, when I am Sheriff, 28 00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:25,093 you will be both respected and supported. 29 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,630 I will also pre-order a dozen of your calendars. 30 00:01:28,286 --> 00:01:30,340 I'm April this year. 31 00:01:31,153 --> 00:01:32,656 Happy Easter to me. 32 00:01:32,681 --> 00:01:35,914 I had no idea Officer Haught was your sister's girlfriend. That's so weird. 33 00:01:36,175 --> 00:01:37,882 You're not one of those "Adam and Eve, 34 00:01:37,907 --> 00:01:39,578 not Adam and Steve" people, are you? 35 00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:42,602 God, no. Purgatory Pride's my favourite event of the year. 36 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,289 Purgatory has a Pride? 37 00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:47,692 Yeah. We painted the fire-engine rainbow. 38 00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,575 Nicole warned me about you. 39 00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:53,676 - That I'm super flexible? - No, that you're a hot mess. 40 00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:56,701 Well, it's better than a cold... tidy. 41 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,876 This was fun. 42 00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,841 Thanks for the, uh... 43 00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:08,098 - Pump? - That's gross. 44 00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:10,959 - Backdraft? - Did we do that? 45 00:02:10,984 --> 00:02:12,425 Heat? 46 00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:17,052 Ah... Nah. 47 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,516 Was that me? 48 00:02:27,908 --> 00:02:29,567 Nothing to see here. 49 00:02:29,592 --> 00:02:33,792 Just an adult woman with adult-woman needs leaving... a fire hall. 50 00:02:33,817 --> 00:02:37,420 - Let me guess: you need a ride. - I had a ride. I need a nap. 51 00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:39,057 And a... ride. 52 00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:42,048 So you and Doc, not a thing anymore? 53 00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:44,007 We were never a thing. 54 00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:46,041 And I haven't seen him for a week. 55 00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:57,428 Burns like a mother! 56 00:02:57,453 --> 00:03:01,001 Oh... 57 00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:12,910 What have I done? 58 00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:16,057 Bulshar's ring is rejecting you, 59 00:03:16,082 --> 00:03:19,325 now that you're compromised. 60 00:03:19,985 --> 00:03:22,078 Don't worry, my love. 61 00:03:22,103 --> 00:03:24,747 Now we're linked together forever. 62 00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:27,083 Just like you wanted. 63 00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,756 Just like I wanted. 64 00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:56,657 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 65 00:03:57,141 --> 00:03:59,757 # All you sexy mothers # 66 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:01,133 # OTPSI # 67 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,024 What's with the children's choir? 68 00:04:03,049 --> 00:04:06,124 It's a bunch of Omicron Tau Psis slumming it from the big city. 69 00:04:06,149 --> 00:04:08,039 We confiscated their party bus this morning. 70 00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:11,585 - Who party-buses at 10 a.m.? - The deeply committed. 71 00:04:12,593 --> 00:04:15,774 Ah... Drink up, friends. Drink up, brothers. 72 00:04:15,799 --> 00:04:19,302 Drink up, all you sexy... mothers. 73 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,422 - Maybe later. - Mm. Sorry, I... 74 00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,409 I dozed off. 75 00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:25,803 - What's all this? - Since closing down the abattoir, 76 00:04:25,828 --> 00:04:28,812 thereby rescuing my tall-n'-jazzy, maybe-kinda boyfriend, 77 00:04:28,837 --> 00:04:31,516 I've been trying to figure out where Bulshar could've moved his operation. 78 00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:32,908 Nice! 79 00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:35,391 Also, when was the last time you went home? 80 00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:36,516 Or ate? 81 00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:39,298 Oh, that depends. What day is it? 82 00:04:39,323 --> 00:04:41,016 We're gonna need to get you a falafel. 83 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:44,055 - Push with your legs! - Shut up with your mouth. 84 00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:46,293 Am I finally gonna see your sex cave? 85 00:04:46,747 --> 00:04:48,712 It's more of a closet. 86 00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:51,099 Retired Nedley is kinky. 87 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,712 Everything in there I seized from crime scenes that didn't feel kosher. 88 00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:56,891 Ones with supernatural element. 89 00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,565 Why didn't you turn them over to Dolls? 90 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,970 Well, initially, I wasn't sure I could trust him. Now I know. 91 00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:09,184 Whoa. 92 00:05:09,473 --> 00:05:12,205 How long have you been hiding this stuff? 93 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,165 Since I became Sheriff. 94 00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,908 Oh... we're gonna find dinosaur bones. 95 00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,110 Ha-ha. 96 00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,601 It's up to you two to decide what to keep, what to burn. 97 00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:24,362 Huh. It's like Hoarders meets Storage Wars. And I, for one, am here for it. 98 00:05:24,421 --> 00:05:26,946 How you making out with getting city council's stamp of approval? 99 00:05:26,971 --> 00:05:28,866 Well, Bunny Loblaw won't return my calls. 100 00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:30,888 That stuck-up Tuesday's still around? 101 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:35,126 Yep. And reigning over city council with an iron fistula. 102 00:05:35,194 --> 00:05:37,897 Bunny Loblaw's the real king-maker here in Purgatory. 103 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:40,803 And she won't return your calls because she's a bully. 104 00:05:40,828 --> 00:05:43,096 Bullies smell fear, they just get more vicious. 105 00:05:43,335 --> 00:05:45,470 - Yeah, dummy, everyone knows that. - Ow...! 106 00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:47,960 You get her on your own turf, you look her dead in the eye 107 00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,882 and you tell her that you're the only person for the job. 108 00:05:49,907 --> 00:05:55,702 You're right. I am going to call her and I'm gonna set up a meeting. 109 00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:57,995 Bunny's gonna eat her for lunch. 110 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,570 - Nedley, are you looking at my ass? - No. 111 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,468 Mm. This'll have to do. 112 00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:12,197 You shouldn't sneak around 113 00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:16,044 when there's a gun-toting mental patient on the loose. 114 00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:19,087 Well, I thought we were friends. 115 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,467 You bailed right in the middle of my Christmas feast. 116 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,471 You find my Brussels sprouts offensive? 117 00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:32,845 I do apologize, ma'am, but... something came up. 118 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,270 Oh. 119 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,385 You're gonna make it up to me. 120 00:06:44,357 --> 00:06:46,447 I fear this is about to get weird. 121 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,953 Don't worry. I'll drive if you're tired. 122 00:06:50,553 --> 00:06:52,235 I do not understand. 123 00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,927 I need to get out of here. 124 00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,114 Just for a little while. 125 00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:58,814 - Cabin fever. - You don't know the half of it. 126 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,940 Oh, I just might. 127 00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:04,791 Okay... let's go, 128 00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:06,619 before I roll you for the keys. 129 00:07:08,704 --> 00:07:12,340 What do you think about this? 130 00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:16,853 - Urn. Nice. - Okay. 131 00:07:16,878 --> 00:07:19,579 But is it supernatural? 132 00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,393 Supernaturally oogly. 133 00:07:21,418 --> 00:07:22,971 Can you check this out? I... 134 00:07:22,996 --> 00:07:24,530 I found Nedley's old police memo. 135 00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:28,221 "November 9, 1996. Raccoon stuck in drop ceiling." 136 00:07:28,246 --> 00:07:31,849 "Call cleared, but now require rabies shot." 137 00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:35,351 Wynonna, can you, like, a little help here, please? 138 00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:39,679 Oh, my God, never... Holy shit! Baby Nedley. 139 00:07:39,704 --> 00:07:42,139 When you're done with story time, can you do some actual work? 140 00:07:42,164 --> 00:07:43,811 Nicole, you're a smart-ish girl. 141 00:07:43,836 --> 00:07:46,000 Surely you've figured out by now that this whole 142 00:07:46,025 --> 00:07:47,929 "cleaning out the secret locker" job is bullshit. 143 00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:50,155 Nedley made it up to make us practice working together. 144 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,741 - He Parent Trapped us. - None of this stuff matters. 145 00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:55,391 And it sure as hell isn't gonna help us with our Bulshar problem. 146 00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:58,274 Alright, well, you might be fine to sit on your ass and do nothing, 147 00:07:58,299 --> 00:07:59,265 but I'm not. 148 00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,774 Especially after what he did to Dolls. 149 00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:05,258 You want my help? 150 00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:06,742 - Yes. - Fine, Nicole. 151 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,961 - Thank you. - No problem. 152 00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:10,742 Crap. 153 00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:14,856 Crap. 154 00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:17,773 Definitely crap. Not crap. 155 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,132 - More crap! - Wynonna, you're being reckless! 156 00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:21,492 - Super crap. - Whoa! 157 00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,867 You know what, Deputy Dipshit, that's kinda my brand, 158 00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:25,706 and it's been working fine so far. 159 00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:29,101 God, I am so sick of your attitude! 160 00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:35,974 Smooth move, Ginger Spice. You just earned yourself seven years' bad luck. 161 00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,180 Hey, Tayla, you seen Doc around lately? 162 00:09:02,205 --> 00:09:02,763 No. 163 00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:05,578 I'll have a whiskey. Leave the bottle. 164 00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,256 Whatcha got there, Sheriff? 165 00:09:10,281 --> 00:09:12,820 Ginger ale. And it's just Randy now. 166 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,640 Didn't peg you for a teetotaller, Just Randy. 167 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,208 Well, I'm still on duty. 168 00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:21,492 Those drunken frat boys from the big city got me running my ass off. 169 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,653 One of the many, many jobs I won't miss when I retire. 170 00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:27,046 Well, I won't tell if you won't. 171 00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,300 Oh. 172 00:09:31,651 --> 00:09:34,286 Look what I found for your retirement party slideshow. 173 00:09:38,939 --> 00:09:41,674 It's like your top lip is wearing a skinny tie. 174 00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,444 How's it going in the evidence locker? 175 00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:47,002 Ugh. 176 00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:50,081 Nicole smashed some stuff. Big surprise. 177 00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:52,875 Must hard to move around with a giant pickle up your ass. 178 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:57,003 - Give her some slack, Wynonna. - You know me. I love slack. 179 00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,565 That chick is all work and no play. Next thing you know, 180 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:03,831 she's gonna be chopping people up with an axe like... that dude in the hotel. 181 00:10:03,856 --> 00:10:05,590 Dave at the Motor Inn? 182 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:09,706 - Him, too. - Well, go easy on Nicole. 183 00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:14,906 You two have more in common than you think. 184 00:10:23,282 --> 00:10:25,292 Well, it's worth a shot. 185 00:10:25,636 --> 00:10:28,376 I guess. Okay. 186 00:10:31,704 --> 00:10:33,271 Hi! Bunny. 187 00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:34,840 Uh, come on in. 188 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,136 - I did. - Can I take your c-coat? 189 00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:40,224 Why? So you can rifle through the pockets? 190 00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:44,666 Oh! What on God's flat earth is that? 191 00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,821 Oh, that's just Calamity Jane. Please don't worry. She's super friendly. 192 00:10:47,846 --> 00:10:50,790 I-I don't care what it is. Either she goes or I go. 193 00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:53,216 I am deathly allergic! 194 00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:54,821 Right. Okay. 195 00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:57,899 Okay. Come on, girlie. 196 00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,774 Calamity, you're getting fat. 197 00:11:00,635 --> 00:11:05,314 Okay, just make yourself cozy. One sec. I'll be right back. 198 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,595 Disgusting. 199 00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:27,875 I am sorry, ma'am. 200 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,492 Willa would've been very sorry about Willa. 201 00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,250 That was always her first thought. 202 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,492 Willa was Ward's... pet. 203 00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:37,961 God, she was... spoiled and she had a mean streak. 204 00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:40,601 She'd have been a terrible heir. 205 00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:44,350 She was just a child. 206 00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,664 Yeah, she was my baby. 207 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:49,460 I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you. 208 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,891 - Hey, where you going now? - Come on. 209 00:11:54,916 --> 00:11:56,617 I'll tell you which way to turn. 210 00:11:56,642 --> 00:11:58,922 Ms. Gibson. Michelle! It's freezing out here. 211 00:11:58,947 --> 00:12:01,335 Oh, stop being a wiener. Come on. 212 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,125 Besides, I know you got a bottle of tequila 213 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,861 stashed under your seat, and that's gonna get us through. 214 00:12:05,886 --> 00:12:09,855 So I have some great ideas on how to make the town safer 215 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,828 and the department run more efficiently. 216 00:12:11,853 --> 00:12:14,355 Well, that's all well and good, Deputy Haught, 217 00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,314 but my main concern is this. 218 00:12:16,339 --> 00:12:18,373 Randy Nedley is full of shit. 219 00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,828 - Excuse me? - I am so sick and tired 220 00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:22,400 of being kept in the dark 221 00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:25,367 about all the strange occurrences in Purgatory. 222 00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:29,095 I won't be lied to about what's really going on in my town, 223 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,353 under my nose. 224 00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:34,297 - Which is what exactly? - Well, you tell me. 225 00:12:34,322 --> 00:12:37,257 That's why I'm here. Unless you don't want to be sheriff. 226 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,172 And don't give me that hooey 227 00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:44,501 about costume parties gone awry or zoo animals escaping. 228 00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:49,468 Well, Bunny, um, Purgatory, it's a very unique... town 229 00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:52,235 with... unique challenges. 230 00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:55,336 Sorry to interrupt. Just need to talk to Deputy Tater Haught for a sec. 231 00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:57,141 Wynonna, this is really not a good time. 232 00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:58,735 Actually, it's perfect timing. 233 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,198 Because I'm thinking of backing Wynonna for Sheriff. 234 00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:05,618 You can't be serious. 235 00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,444 I'm dead serious. 236 00:13:07,469 --> 00:13:10,287 Wynonna, you are a straight-shooter. 237 00:13:10,312 --> 00:13:12,880 - You're one tough bitch. - Hey-o. 238 00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:16,321 And the Earps are one of Purgatory's original families. 239 00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:18,298 This one... 240 00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:20,923 - This one? - Sorry, what about "this one"? 241 00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:24,417 What Purgatory needs is a homegrown hero, 242 00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:27,644 not some fly-by-night outsider, 243 00:13:27,669 --> 00:13:30,737 who, let's face it, is a little too... 244 00:13:32,109 --> 00:13:33,743 different. 245 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:38,532 - Can I just... real quick, for a sec? - One sec. We'll just... 246 00:13:38,557 --> 00:13:40,313 in the kitchen. 247 00:13:40,338 --> 00:13:44,142 Wait until Bunny finds out about Purgatory Pride. 248 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,798 - What are you doing here?! - Right! 249 00:13:46,823 --> 00:13:49,196 - Uh, it's about Nedley and you... - And me... 250 00:13:49,221 --> 00:13:53,118 Did Buns Buns really just say I could be...? 251 00:13:53,143 --> 00:13:55,329 Oh, no, you cannot take that job. 252 00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:58,017 - I don't want that job. - Yeah, 'cause you would be a disaster. 253 00:13:58,042 --> 00:14:01,249 - No shit, Not Sheriff. - You have no police training, 254 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,204 you're terrible with authority, you're not even qualified to run a Chipotle! 255 00:14:04,229 --> 00:14:06,664 Guac-a-cuse me? You know what? 256 00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:10,094 Maybe I'd like to be Sheriff Nedley 2.0. 257 00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:12,805 Oh, I'm your boss after all. 258 00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:15,789 Well, excuse me, but you can't even do one single assignment properly 259 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:16,798 without breaking a gazillion rules 260 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,142 and a creepy-ass mirror in the process! 261 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:22,914 Oh, oh, oh, God, oh... ISIS! 262 00:14:22,939 --> 00:14:24,454 What rules?! 263 00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:27,658 Purgatory is the goddamn Thunderdome and I'm Tina friggin' Turner! 264 00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,735 - What are you talking about?! - Point is, 265 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,938 you can wrap yourself up in the rules like a... 266 00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:34,110 snug little blanket to keep you warm at night, 267 00:14:34,135 --> 00:14:36,291 but I'm gonna go get shit done. 268 00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,500 Balls! Bunny's dead. 269 00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:43,454 Calamity Jane! She's allergic! 270 00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:44,704 Yeah. 271 00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:46,642 Bunny? Hey. 272 00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,212 I know a dozen places we can hide the body. 273 00:14:48,237 --> 00:14:50,830 Oh... oh... She's still alive. 274 00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:52,251 Fine, I'll save them for next time. 275 00:14:52,276 --> 00:14:53,649 Uh, her purse. Wynonna, get her purse! 276 00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:57,532 - Yeah, cash. - No! Medication, Wynonna! 277 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,874 Ah, crap. 278 00:15:01,725 --> 00:15:04,823 Oh! Is this Oxy?! Ow. 279 00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:07,009 - Oh, the tea. - Oh! 280 00:15:08,501 --> 00:15:12,023 Alright, Bunny, here we go, here we go. Swallow. 281 00:15:12,048 --> 00:15:15,084 C'mon, c'mon, you old bat! Oh. 282 00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:17,834 Okay. 283 00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:22,031 - I don't need a doctor! - How about an exorcist, Bun Bun? 284 00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:23,921 Okay, let's put her in my cruiser. We'll get her faster 285 00:15:23,946 --> 00:15:25,594 to the hospital with the lights and sirens on. 286 00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,558 Don't take me to Purgatory General! 287 00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,110 They have too many immigrant doctors! 288 00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:31,569 - Okay, that's enough out of you. - Ow! Jeez! 289 00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:35,142 - Go inside, get her purse. - So you do wanna rob her? 290 00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,961 No, I want to get her meds. The doctors need them to diagnose her. 291 00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:37,892 Go, go, go! 292 00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:39,040 Get her to the hospital and get the meds after. 293 00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:39,875 What the hell?! 294 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,360 I will get them. You want something done right! 295 00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:44,100 No, I will do it. 296 00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:48,243 What is going on?! 297 00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:56,082 You have gotta be freakin' kidding me! 298 00:15:56,625 --> 00:16:00,585 Look who needs my help now. 299 00:16:02,272 --> 00:16:04,372 - What are you doing? - Get in. 300 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,114 Dude, I have her keys. What about your truck? 301 00:16:07,139 --> 00:16:09,295 Battery's dead. I blame your cat for that, too. 302 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,193 Okay, well, I should drive, 303 00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:11,989 because then we're not stealing Bunny's car, 304 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,581 we're just commandeering it for official police... 305 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,142 - Bigger fish, Nicole. - Okay. 306 00:16:16,638 --> 00:16:18,978 Okay, great, I'll call Waverly. 307 00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:20,370 - We're logging on now. - Hurry. 308 00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:22,360 We need to make sure Bunny's okay. 309 00:16:22,385 --> 00:16:25,763 Sorry, sorry, but it's... it's kind of funny. 310 00:16:25,788 --> 00:16:27,665 You guys have some terrible luck today. 311 00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,678 Like "black fly in your Chardonnay" kind of terrible. 312 00:16:29,703 --> 00:16:31,867 Speed it up, Jagged Little Nerd. 313 00:16:32,674 --> 00:16:36,420 Okay. Pinging the cruiser's GPS, 314 00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:39,139 and... good news! It's parked. 315 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:42,779 Bunny Nut Cheerios! You need to hurry. 316 00:16:42,804 --> 00:16:44,357 Later. 317 00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:49,788 Ugh! Of course those two frat brats drove your car to a biker bar! 318 00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:50,725 Yeah, well, 319 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,209 maybe they're friendly bikers hosting a Golden Girls Trivia Night. 320 00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:55,725 Well, Rose, we are not in St. Olaf anymore. 321 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,428 Get me outta here, you white-trash tart!! 322 00:16:58,453 --> 00:17:00,834 You're feeling better. Try your handle. 323 00:17:00,859 --> 00:17:01,881 I am!! 324 00:17:01,906 --> 00:17:03,301 It doesn't open from the inside. 325 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,994 It's a safety feature. Haven't you been arrested, like, 500 times?! 326 00:17:06,019 --> 00:17:09,318 - Not the time, Nicole! - Luckily, I always have a spare key. 327 00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:11,111 Oh, good. 328 00:17:12,588 --> 00:17:16,920 You are some kind of moron, Haught! 329 00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:19,580 Whoa! Bullet could ricochet and hit Bunny. 330 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,940 - I'm willing to take the risk. - Or us. 331 00:17:22,436 --> 00:17:23,436 Okay. 332 00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,231 Why don't we just call the fire department? 333 00:17:25,256 --> 00:17:26,303 - They can pop the door off. - No!! 334 00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:27,748 - What? - Do not do that. 335 00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:29,397 They'll never let us sheriffs live it down. 336 00:17:29,422 --> 00:17:30,767 Okay, you got a better idea? 337 00:17:31,107 --> 00:17:33,889 Yeah. We go in and find Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Douche, 338 00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:35,631 we're in and out five minutes, tops. 339 00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,732 If we get the keys, she'll never notice, we're good to go. Let's go. 340 00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:42,240 Don't leave me in here, you sonsofbitches!! 341 00:17:42,265 --> 00:17:44,584 You are gonna hear from my lawyer!! 342 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,811 Peacemaker? 343 00:17:47,836 --> 00:17:49,335 We're outnumbered. 344 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,238 We don't want Bunny to think we went in guns blazing. 345 00:17:55,962 --> 00:18:01,767 I couldn't wait to join the rodeo circuit and flee this shithole town. 346 00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,061 Then I came back one... 347 00:18:04,086 --> 00:18:07,850 long August weekend and I got drunk, pregnant. 348 00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,977 Ended up marrying Ward Earp. 349 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,842 Well, he did give you three beautiful daughters. 350 00:18:12,867 --> 00:18:16,603 No, he gave me two. Waverly was Julian's, remember? 351 00:18:19,487 --> 00:18:21,537 What's it like, being with an angel? 352 00:18:21,562 --> 00:18:23,563 What's it like being with a demon? 353 00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,022 No, Julian made me feel like 354 00:18:31,047 --> 00:18:34,180 I didn't have to break my spirit to be happy. 355 00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,082 - I do know what that is like. - Hmm. 356 00:18:38,107 --> 00:18:40,350 The night Waverly was born... 357 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:45,123 Ward pushed Julian outside of the Ghost River Triangle. 358 00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,217 It happened right here. 359 00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,677 He's been lost ever since. 360 00:18:50,702 --> 00:18:52,236 How do you know that? 361 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,570 Bobo told me. 362 00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,064 Del Rey? You talked to him? 363 00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:01,809 I did more than talk to him. 364 00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:04,790 I gave him the Christmas dinner that you didn't want. 365 00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:06,449 And his freedom. 366 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,673 Are you out of your godforsaken mind, woman? 367 00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:13,556 I think we've established, yes, sometimes. 368 00:19:13,581 --> 00:19:17,868 - You have unleashed a monster. - Bulshar has risen, sweet cheeks. 369 00:19:17,893 --> 00:19:19,560 These are end times. 370 00:19:19,585 --> 00:19:22,610 It's gonna take monsters to fight a monster. 371 00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:27,189 Bobo Del Rey has tried to kill your daughters multiple times. 372 00:19:27,214 --> 00:19:29,082 Nobody's perfect. 373 00:19:29,107 --> 00:19:32,509 You do not get to make those life-or-death decisions for them! 374 00:19:32,534 --> 00:19:34,568 Who's gonna stop me? 375 00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:36,572 You, Johnny Hank? 376 00:19:36,597 --> 00:19:39,227 Mm. If necessary. 377 00:19:39,252 --> 00:19:40,697 Well, good. 378 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,720 Seems like now we're finally talking. 379 00:19:42,745 --> 00:19:46,173 - So here's my terms. - Yeah!!! 380 00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:49,307 What should we do with these interlopers? 381 00:19:49,332 --> 00:19:52,486 Release them to the woods and hunt them down like dogs? 382 00:19:52,511 --> 00:19:55,150 - Yeah!! - Or, or... 383 00:19:55,175 --> 00:19:59,445 we could eviscerate them right here on the bar. 384 00:20:00,972 --> 00:20:03,474 Are you gonna stay late and clean up that mess? 385 00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:06,167 'Cause I'm not. Suggestions? 386 00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:08,960 Anyone else? 387 00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:13,589 Yah-ha. That might be a good idea. 388 00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,346 Shhh-shhh. 389 00:20:15,371 --> 00:20:17,973 Well, well, well. 390 00:20:17,998 --> 00:20:20,251 Looks like today is our lucky day. 391 00:20:20,276 --> 00:20:23,008 Seems the would-be sheriff and the heir 392 00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:25,338 have decided to join us for a little drink. 393 00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,986 We were dumb to think we could pull a fast one on you. 394 00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:31,446 But I can tell you're men of sport. 395 00:20:31,471 --> 00:20:35,882 And, you know, where's the sport in ripping Dumb and Doucher to shreds? 396 00:20:35,907 --> 00:20:37,696 What are you proposin'? 397 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,202 I'm proposing that you let them go, 398 00:20:41,227 --> 00:20:42,359 and... 399 00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:46,921 you and me and, uh, Deputy Haught to Trot here 400 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,890 have ourselves a little contest. 401 00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:51,010 What are you good at? 402 00:20:51,195 --> 00:20:53,046 - Golden Girls Trivia. - Drinking. 403 00:20:53,071 --> 00:20:56,241 You really wanna challenge me to a drinking contest? 404 00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:58,167 Mm-hmm. I do. 405 00:20:58,192 --> 00:21:01,069 And... if we win, then you let us go. 406 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:05,725 - What happens when I win? - Then you... 407 00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:08,038 get to... kill us. 408 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,750 You could've just offered them cash. 409 00:21:10,775 --> 00:21:13,927 I didn't work it out all the way to the end before I pitched it. 410 00:21:13,952 --> 00:21:16,788 You must be the stupidest heir yet. 411 00:21:16,813 --> 00:21:18,663 Definitely in the top five. 412 00:21:18,688 --> 00:21:20,972 Okay. 413 00:21:20,997 --> 00:21:22,945 Let them Greeks go. 414 00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:25,679 You owe us. Take the cruiser and the old bag 415 00:21:25,704 --> 00:21:27,608 in the backseat and get to the hospital, okay? 416 00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:31,169 - Yes, ma'am. - Now... let's get pissed! 417 00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:34,140 Yeah! 418 00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:36,897 I'm worried. Neither of them are answering. 419 00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:39,157 Okay, wait, wait. Let's just recap. 420 00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:42,498 First, Bunny has a heart attack at Nicole's. 421 00:21:42,523 --> 00:21:43,195 Yes. 422 00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:45,225 Then the cruiser gets stolen with Bunny in it. 423 00:21:45,252 --> 00:21:48,523 Then it just happens to end up at a Revenant roadhouse? 424 00:21:48,548 --> 00:21:51,854 Doesn't that sound spectacularly unlucky to you? 425 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,757 Too unlucky to be a coincidence? 426 00:21:58,078 --> 00:22:00,843 Mirror, mirror, on the floor... 427 00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:09,763 Maybe if we put it back together, their luck will change? 428 00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,421 Well, it can't get any worse. 429 00:22:11,446 --> 00:22:13,522 - Okay. - One... 430 00:22:13,547 --> 00:22:16,882 two, three, drink. 431 00:22:20,633 --> 00:22:23,210 Mm, is that all you got? 432 00:22:23,235 --> 00:22:26,371 Come on, fella, let's take this up a notch, huh? Grab the ouzo. 433 00:22:26,396 --> 00:22:28,331 I really wish you would stop helping. 434 00:22:28,356 --> 00:22:32,561 One, two, three, drink! 435 00:22:34,913 --> 00:22:36,447 Ah! 436 00:22:37,507 --> 00:22:39,716 How you feeling there, Rolfy boy? 437 00:22:39,741 --> 00:22:41,320 - I feel good. - Good. 438 00:22:41,345 --> 00:22:42,929 I feel strong. 439 00:22:42,954 --> 00:22:44,288 I failed college. 440 00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:48,382 How are you not bombed? You weigh, like, eight pounds. 441 00:22:48,407 --> 00:22:51,241 I like you. Ena, 442 00:22:51,266 --> 00:22:54,179 dio, tria! 443 00:23:02,383 --> 00:23:05,851 What's wrong? 444 00:23:06,502 --> 00:23:09,427 Game over, lightweight! 445 00:23:09,452 --> 00:23:11,147 What? I swallowed it! 446 00:23:11,172 --> 00:23:13,825 And it came back up, which means you lose. Everybody knows that. 447 00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,468 It's true, man. Everyone knows that. 448 00:23:17,257 --> 00:23:21,273 Well, we won fair and square. Uncuff us. 449 00:23:21,298 --> 00:23:24,140 Hang on! 450 00:23:25,406 --> 00:23:28,350 You've been spitting your shots into this bottle. 451 00:23:28,375 --> 00:23:31,685 No, she hasn't. You haven't, right? 452 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,429 - I learned it from Coyote Ugly. - Oh, I love that movie! 453 00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:35,854 You broke the rules. 454 00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:38,132 Now I get to break your necks. 455 00:23:38,157 --> 00:23:40,765 Ooh, good one. 456 00:23:40,790 --> 00:23:43,147 Stop!! 457 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,639 - Stop quipping and run! - Yep. 458 00:23:44,664 --> 00:23:47,374 Okay! 459 00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,765 Hurry up! The cuff's chafing. 460 00:23:53,790 --> 00:23:56,468 You're going too fast and I'm too drunk. 461 00:23:56,493 --> 00:23:57,243 Ugh! 462 00:23:57,268 --> 00:23:59,983 - You are literally the worst! - Climb! 463 00:24:00,008 --> 00:24:02,663 Climb! Climb! 464 00:24:09,044 --> 00:24:11,312 You found my mementos. 465 00:24:11,762 --> 00:24:15,208 You mean the souvenirs of all the people you have killed? 466 00:24:15,233 --> 00:24:17,853 - That's a vulgar way to put it. - It is the truth. 467 00:24:18,184 --> 00:24:20,334 Is it Wynonna you're helping? 468 00:24:21,306 --> 00:24:23,640 In a manner of speaking. 469 00:24:23,856 --> 00:24:25,323 She must be some woman 470 00:24:25,348 --> 00:24:28,432 if you're willing to give up one of your precious pistols. 471 00:24:28,963 --> 00:24:31,220 It's sweet you think she'd want you now. 472 00:24:32,081 --> 00:24:34,850 You know how your jealousy bores me. 473 00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:36,213 As you really are. 474 00:24:36,238 --> 00:24:38,385 Wynonna helped make me as I am. 475 00:24:40,637 --> 00:24:43,606 I did! Because you asked me to! 476 00:24:46,603 --> 00:24:48,304 My Henry. 477 00:24:49,344 --> 00:24:52,182 The greatest gunslinger that ever lived. 478 00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:55,126 A filthy, rotten scoundrel. 479 00:24:56,176 --> 00:24:59,345 All this helping and sacrificing she has you doing... 480 00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:02,506 - She thinks I can be better. - Than what? 481 00:25:02,843 --> 00:25:04,477 It's beneath you. 482 00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,413 Wynonna is breaking your spirit. 483 00:25:07,481 --> 00:25:11,550 But I love you when you're at your worst. 484 00:25:12,534 --> 00:25:13,968 Maybe even more. 485 00:25:19,287 --> 00:25:20,988 Then you'll know... 486 00:25:21,013 --> 00:25:23,281 I'm not a man that does ultimatums. 487 00:25:23,306 --> 00:25:24,907 Or likes to choose. 488 00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:27,276 You have chosen. 489 00:25:27,645 --> 00:25:30,742 And you're mine, forever now. 490 00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:34,136 So go, tell the Earp heir. 491 00:25:34,823 --> 00:25:38,325 See if she welcomes you back into her bed. 492 00:25:43,899 --> 00:25:47,561 We wouldn't be in this mess if you just played by the rules! 493 00:25:47,586 --> 00:25:50,264 There are no rules in this shit-town, Nicole! 494 00:25:50,289 --> 00:25:52,867 If you wanna be all normal and law-abiding, do it somewhere else! 495 00:25:52,892 --> 00:25:55,140 You know what? Get your ass out of your head, Wynonna! 496 00:25:55,165 --> 00:25:56,703 You're not the only one who's been through stuff. 497 00:25:56,728 --> 00:26:00,890 Oh, right, I forgot. You survived a massacre. 498 00:26:00,915 --> 00:26:04,867 - Yeah, that one is legit as F. - You're right I did. 499 00:26:04,892 --> 00:26:08,265 Ans so I'm not about to die here handcuffed to a criminal! 500 00:26:08,290 --> 00:26:09,429 You, by the way. 501 00:26:09,454 --> 00:26:11,489 Oh! Real mature! 502 00:26:11,514 --> 00:26:14,537 You know what? You survived some shit, 503 00:26:14,562 --> 00:26:16,547 and I cannot wait for your TED Talk, 504 00:26:16,572 --> 00:26:18,945 but get back to me when you're cursed! 505 00:26:18,970 --> 00:26:20,742 Jesus! 506 00:26:20,767 --> 00:26:23,135 - Mother bad-lucker, it's jammed. - Argh! 507 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,476 Not even like Space or strawberry, 508 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,461 but the bad kind of jam! 509 00:26:30,983 --> 00:26:36,256 Well, aren't you two a pair of catty little bitches? 510 00:26:36,281 --> 00:26:37,421 I like it. 511 00:26:37,446 --> 00:26:40,273 All that animosity running through your veins... 512 00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,703 You're basting in it. 513 00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:45,856 Oh, it'll make you taste so much better. 514 00:26:48,175 --> 00:26:51,041 - You be Scott. - You be Tessa. 515 00:27:05,230 --> 00:27:07,813 - We make a pretty good team. - Yeah, our chemistry's solid. 516 00:27:07,838 --> 00:27:09,081 Ah! 517 00:27:09,106 --> 00:27:09,798 Okay. 518 00:27:09,823 --> 00:27:12,831 Yep. 519 00:27:18,893 --> 00:27:22,040 As much as I love a feel-good ending, this ain't it. 520 00:27:22,065 --> 00:27:23,338 Any last words? 521 00:27:23,363 --> 00:27:25,864 - I miss Macaulay Culkin! - Tell Waverly I love her! 522 00:27:25,889 --> 00:27:29,253 Sure, make me look like an asshole. 523 00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:38,323 You owe me a wife. 524 00:27:38,348 --> 00:27:40,651 - Is this better, or worse? - Worse. 525 00:27:40,676 --> 00:27:42,604 Okay. 526 00:27:44,044 --> 00:27:46,251 There's... there's gotta be one more piece! 527 00:27:46,276 --> 00:27:48,933 Ah, whoop, there it is! Here, here. 528 00:27:48,958 --> 00:27:51,284 - Oh! Oh, my God. - Okay, bad luck over? 529 00:27:51,309 --> 00:27:54,331 - We fixed it! Did we fix it? - I dunno. 530 00:27:55,724 --> 00:27:58,253 - There's a mountain man!! - A gross, scabby mountain man!! 531 00:27:58,278 --> 00:27:59,995 So not fixed, then. 532 00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:02,737 Not so fast, Gandalf! 533 00:28:02,762 --> 00:28:04,362 No! 534 00:28:04,387 --> 00:28:08,471 You shall not pass!!! 535 00:28:12,481 --> 00:28:15,698 Yeah, on second thought, you do you, man... 536 00:28:16,201 --> 00:28:18,347 Ah!! 537 00:28:18,372 --> 00:28:21,999 One of you will be my new wife! 538 00:28:22,024 --> 00:28:24,253 - Not it. - Did he just say wife? 539 00:28:24,278 --> 00:28:26,046 Come on. 540 00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:28,769 Help. 541 00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:33,315 Shit! 542 00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:39,163 Okay, the mirror wasn't the only thing they broke, right? 543 00:28:39,188 --> 00:28:41,440 - Wait. What's this? - Is that ceramic? 544 00:28:41,465 --> 00:28:44,909 It looks like a... a lawn ornament? 545 00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:47,543 He's not an ogre. 546 00:28:47,568 --> 00:28:49,159 He's a gnome! 547 00:28:49,184 --> 00:28:54,165 - How does that help us?! - You owe me a wife. Now choose. 548 00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,829 - How could we possibly... - She'd make a great gnome wife. 549 00:28:56,854 --> 00:29:00,370 - Ooh, loving a good puzzle. - She's beautiful and... 550 00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:02,870 annoyingly noble. And I know she's great in bed, 551 00:29:02,902 --> 00:29:04,923 because my house has very thin walls. 552 00:29:04,948 --> 00:29:06,440 - Quick, quick, quick, quick! - Stop! 553 00:29:06,465 --> 00:29:07,857 You should choose Wynonna. 554 00:29:07,882 --> 00:29:10,884 She is funny and irrepressible, 555 00:29:10,909 --> 00:29:13,979 and she always goes to the mat for the people she loves. 556 00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:14,792 More tape! 557 00:29:14,817 --> 00:29:17,259 Oh, and she's super fertile! It was one time. 558 00:29:17,284 --> 00:29:19,972 You stick to that, I will do tape. 559 00:29:19,997 --> 00:29:24,233 I think this would be a really good time to tell you that I am a lesbian. 560 00:29:24,258 --> 00:29:26,698 Oh, like you never went through an experimental phase. 561 00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:27,962 Not with gnomes! 562 00:29:27,987 --> 00:29:30,409 That's very narrow-minded, Nicole! Love is love! 563 00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:32,806 Stop talking!!! 564 00:29:34,817 --> 00:29:37,357 Okay. 565 00:29:37,382 --> 00:29:40,651 Ugh! You want a wife, but you need a mint. 566 00:29:41,059 --> 00:29:43,457 - We're missing a piece! - Okay, I got the knees! 567 00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:45,940 I got the... Oh, my God, these are... 568 00:29:45,965 --> 00:29:48,912 Boobs?! Oh, hell gnome, it's a lady! 569 00:29:48,937 --> 00:29:51,440 They broke his gnome wife! Quick, stick the boobs back on! 570 00:29:51,465 --> 00:29:54,570 - That is a lawsuit waiting to happen! - Okay, fine, I'll do it! 571 00:29:54,595 --> 00:29:55,862 With the utmost respect, okay? 572 00:29:55,887 --> 00:29:57,554 Just... hand me the double-sided tape! 573 00:29:57,579 --> 00:29:59,838 Oh, God, I really wish we had a gnome bra! 574 00:29:59,863 --> 00:30:01,596 Done! 575 00:30:01,621 --> 00:30:03,253 There. 576 00:30:07,829 --> 00:30:11,222 Monique! You're alright. 577 00:30:15,204 --> 00:30:17,138 Oh, buh-buh-buh-buh! 578 00:30:17,163 --> 00:30:18,735 Ah! 579 00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:24,493 Aw, that was kind of... Sweet. 580 00:30:24,518 --> 00:30:26,206 And romantic. 581 00:30:26,231 --> 00:30:29,065 Exactly how my first Grindr date ended. 582 00:30:30,457 --> 00:30:32,315 I've said too much. 583 00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:34,292 Found it at the old roadhouse. 584 00:30:34,317 --> 00:30:35,886 Doors were open, keys were in the ignition. 585 00:30:35,911 --> 00:30:37,815 I wouldn't drive it for more than a day. 586 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,253 You never know when the owner's gonna sober up and report it stolen. 587 00:30:41,278 --> 00:30:44,739 Okay. We got some cash, an ID. 588 00:30:44,764 --> 00:30:49,473 Ooh, I knew an outlaw'd get what's needed when I need to get out of Dodge fast. 589 00:30:49,632 --> 00:30:53,448 Oh, but... I'm not gonna take your pistol. 590 00:30:53,473 --> 00:30:55,026 We both know you might need that. 591 00:30:55,051 --> 00:30:56,985 Much obliged. 592 00:30:57,010 --> 00:31:00,120 Otherwise, nicely done, Johnny Hank. 593 00:31:00,145 --> 00:31:02,448 Wish I could say the same. 594 00:31:02,601 --> 00:31:04,542 Is this where you beg me to stay? 595 00:31:04,567 --> 00:31:06,839 Oh, I do not beg. 596 00:31:08,704 --> 00:31:11,956 Anyways, this gives us our best chance at keeping them safe. 597 00:31:11,981 --> 00:31:15,761 Seems to be my lot in life. Leaving to keep other people safe. 598 00:31:15,786 --> 00:31:17,714 Am I meant to feel sorry for you? 599 00:31:17,739 --> 00:31:18,456 No. 600 00:31:18,481 --> 00:31:20,159 I would never ask you that. 601 00:31:20,184 --> 00:31:23,219 But you do recognize this, you recognize me, 602 00:31:23,244 --> 00:31:25,127 you recognize what I'm doing. 603 00:31:25,152 --> 00:31:29,206 Setting evil free and imperilling your own family in the process? 604 00:31:29,231 --> 00:31:32,909 Now that I know what's happened to Julian, I have to go find him. 605 00:31:32,934 --> 00:31:34,868 He's lost out there. 606 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,828 He's outside the Ghost River Triangle. 607 00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:41,434 From the second I walked into that barn... 608 00:31:41,459 --> 00:31:44,127 you knew I'd make you leave, 609 00:31:44,244 --> 00:31:46,026 you knew I'd help you. 610 00:31:46,051 --> 00:31:48,846 Sometimes it takes a monster. 611 00:31:49,130 --> 00:31:51,830 Wynonna will be angry. 612 00:31:52,558 --> 00:31:54,872 She's not gonna be angry with you. 613 00:31:54,897 --> 00:31:57,492 She always seems to forgive you. 614 00:31:57,517 --> 00:32:00,643 Still, you may not escape her anger, 615 00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:04,893 for you are abandoning your family for love. 616 00:32:04,918 --> 00:32:10,078 Oh. Like I'm gonna let a vampire lecture me on love. 617 00:32:18,898 --> 00:32:23,070 Oh. Shit. 618 00:32:23,843 --> 00:32:27,086 Out already? Didn't even have time to send flowers. 619 00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,564 It was just a fancy faint. 620 00:32:29,589 --> 00:32:31,977 Yeah, the cat made a bed in your ass crack. 621 00:32:32,002 --> 00:32:35,273 The doctor said I'm fine. I'm as healthy as an ox. 622 00:32:35,298 --> 00:32:37,227 - With the cankles to match. - Listen. 623 00:32:37,252 --> 00:32:40,047 I am just here to tell Officer Haught 624 00:32:40,072 --> 00:32:42,367 that despite the day's events, 625 00:32:42,392 --> 00:32:45,429 she will not be getting my support. 626 00:32:46,386 --> 00:32:49,968 She saved your life, you incorrigible bitch. 627 00:32:49,993 --> 00:32:51,539 Perhaps. 628 00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:54,929 But she does not belong here in Purgatory. 629 00:32:54,954 --> 00:32:57,655 She is not our... people. 630 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,421 Are you a xenophobe, or a homophobe? 631 00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,070 Why pick just one? 632 00:33:02,095 --> 00:33:04,148 Even though it was against her best interest, 633 00:33:04,173 --> 00:33:05,248 Nicole did the right thing. 634 00:33:05,273 --> 00:33:07,742 She always does the right thing, no matter what. 635 00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:09,898 That's the kind of person who should be sheriff. 636 00:33:09,922 --> 00:33:11,835 - I'll keep that in mind. - No. 637 00:33:12,026 --> 00:33:13,473 Bunny... 638 00:33:13,498 --> 00:33:16,820 shouldn't we talk about what really happened today? 639 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,742 What's really got your pearls all twisted? 640 00:33:19,767 --> 00:33:21,281 I don't know what you're talking about. 641 00:33:21,306 --> 00:33:23,024 What you saw. 642 00:33:23,505 --> 00:33:25,898 Because you saw something, didn't you, Bun Bun? 643 00:33:25,923 --> 00:33:29,414 It was just a dream, a terrible dream. 644 00:33:29,439 --> 00:33:31,679 Like the one where I'm on the cruise ship 645 00:33:31,704 --> 00:33:34,883 with all the shirtless... Portuguese sailors. 646 00:33:34,908 --> 00:33:37,710 Okay, there's a lot to unpack there. 647 00:33:37,735 --> 00:33:40,637 But no... you weren't dreaming. 648 00:33:40,662 --> 00:33:43,062 See, you think you want to know the things 649 00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:45,274 Nedley's been keeping secret. 650 00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:48,508 You don't. That monster you saw today, 651 00:33:48,533 --> 00:33:51,902 it's just... the tip of the iceberg. 652 00:33:52,124 --> 00:33:53,273 Iceberg? 653 00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:55,583 If you don't back Nicole for sheriff, 654 00:33:55,608 --> 00:33:59,874 I am sending that monster and all of his demon friends... 655 00:34:00,218 --> 00:34:01,956 to your house. 656 00:34:01,981 --> 00:34:05,164 You can't and you won't. 657 00:34:05,189 --> 00:34:08,091 Oh, bless your cold, withered heart. 658 00:34:08,116 --> 00:34:10,925 You think it could handle another "fancy faint"? 659 00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:16,097 Then Nicole Haught's gonna be the next sheriff. Okay? 660 00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:17,599 Have a lovely day. 661 00:34:17,624 --> 00:34:19,525 I need to get to church. 662 00:34:19,550 --> 00:34:22,645 You gotta book yourself that cruise. 663 00:34:28,411 --> 00:34:30,211 How long have you been listening? 664 00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:32,044 It would've been rude to interrupt. 665 00:34:32,069 --> 00:34:35,300 - Naughty Haughty. - How's your head? Because... 666 00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:37,614 I feel like I can hear space and time. 667 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:41,164 Hair of the dog? 668 00:34:42,039 --> 00:34:44,640 Officer Haught. At work? 669 00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:47,467 Well, some rules are made to be broken. 670 00:34:47,672 --> 00:34:49,739 Huh. Maybe you would be a good wife. 671 00:34:49,764 --> 00:34:53,130 Ah, thank you. But you're not my type. You cheat at drinking games. 672 00:34:53,155 --> 00:34:55,309 Mm-hmm. 673 00:34:58,089 --> 00:34:59,456 Truce? 674 00:34:59,594 --> 00:35:01,729 More than a truce. A win. 675 00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:03,741 Hm. 676 00:35:06,003 --> 00:35:08,704 You know, I used to think you were an outsider too. 677 00:35:08,729 --> 00:35:11,898 And that things would get too demony and you would... 678 00:35:12,271 --> 00:35:14,950 go and leave my sister with a broken heart. 679 00:35:14,975 --> 00:35:17,684 Wynonna, I love her. 680 00:35:17,709 --> 00:35:19,472 Ew. 681 00:35:19,497 --> 00:35:21,411 Also, you'd better. 682 00:35:23,307 --> 00:35:25,341 And I love you, too. 683 00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:27,216 I mean, I know it's terribly unfair 684 00:35:27,241 --> 00:35:29,718 and sometimes I really get... jealous, 685 00:35:29,743 --> 00:35:32,169 because you get to be... 686 00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:35,051 Get to be what? 687 00:35:35,946 --> 00:35:37,761 You. 688 00:35:40,156 --> 00:35:43,142 You know, you're staked to this land, same as me. 689 00:35:43,167 --> 00:35:45,227 You never had a choice. 690 00:35:45,252 --> 00:35:47,188 What do you mean? 691 00:35:51,702 --> 00:35:53,848 It wasn't Black Badge who saved you 692 00:35:53,873 --> 00:35:56,778 from the Cult of Bulshar massacre, Nicole. 693 00:35:58,579 --> 00:36:01,243 It was an idealistic local cop. 694 00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:12,296 Oh... 695 00:36:13,201 --> 00:36:17,786 That little dance battle at the vampire ball really did my back in. 696 00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:26,294 Ah... 697 00:36:32,696 --> 00:36:35,030 You were so damn scared. 698 00:36:37,071 --> 00:36:39,645 Still so damn tough. 699 00:36:40,213 --> 00:36:42,648 I found you downriver from the massacre. 700 00:36:42,673 --> 00:36:46,042 You'd gotten yourself into a canoe, you got away, so... 701 00:36:47,448 --> 00:36:49,182 You're the one. 702 00:36:55,985 --> 00:36:58,575 Kept an eye on you afterwards. 703 00:36:59,170 --> 00:37:01,888 You know, those folks of yours... 704 00:37:02,582 --> 00:37:04,072 Who lets their six-year-old daughter 705 00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:06,543 go to a music festival in the woods? 706 00:37:06,631 --> 00:37:10,036 My parents were never anything but selfish. 707 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,762 If they could see you now. 708 00:37:11,787 --> 00:37:13,900 Uh... we don't talk. 709 00:37:14,354 --> 00:37:17,783 Why? Because of... who you are? 710 00:37:17,808 --> 00:37:19,257 Yeah. 711 00:37:19,282 --> 00:37:20,849 A cop. 712 00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:23,986 When I found out you'd enrolled in the police academy, 713 00:37:24,011 --> 00:37:26,160 I couldn't resist offering you this job. 714 00:37:26,185 --> 00:37:28,735 When I saw the posting, I... I knew 715 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,827 that this was where I had to serve. 716 00:37:34,058 --> 00:37:36,205 Everything good that I have in my life 717 00:37:36,230 --> 00:37:39,300 is because I came back to the Ghost River Triangle. 718 00:37:44,447 --> 00:37:48,187 You're like a daughter... to me. 719 00:38:06,407 --> 00:38:08,995 You're wrinkling the crease in my khakis. 720 00:38:17,031 --> 00:38:18,937 Thank you. 721 00:38:20,878 --> 00:38:23,906 You are a tough act to follow. 722 00:38:23,931 --> 00:38:26,578 I'm not going anywhere. 723 00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:30,267 Not if you really need me. 724 00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:33,396 Congratulations, Sheriff Haught. 725 00:38:34,630 --> 00:38:36,791 You earned it. 726 00:38:39,934 --> 00:38:42,869 Fill a tub with tequila and salt the rim. 727 00:38:43,432 --> 00:38:45,700 I have had a day. 728 00:38:47,940 --> 00:38:49,474 She's gone. 729 00:38:51,827 --> 00:38:54,124 Went to find Julian. 730 00:39:01,586 --> 00:39:07,013 But we just had Christmas together and it was so nice. 731 00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:09,576 We could spend our whole lives trying to figure out 732 00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:12,017 why she does what she does, baby girl. 733 00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:13,894 We already have. 734 00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:17,715 At least now she really is free. 735 00:39:17,740 --> 00:39:19,044 Must be nice. 736 00:39:33,216 --> 00:39:34,783 Good evening. 737 00:39:36,677 --> 00:39:39,011 I come bearing gifts. 738 00:39:39,324 --> 00:39:41,922 Well, gift. 739 00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:50,372 - This is... - Bulshar's ring. 740 00:39:50,397 --> 00:39:52,832 It may protect you in your upcoming battle. 741 00:39:53,448 --> 00:39:56,116 How did you get it? Nicole had it. 742 00:39:56,141 --> 00:40:00,211 Well... the details are a little foggy. 743 00:40:00,937 --> 00:40:03,439 I do like to day drink, as you know. 744 00:40:03,464 --> 00:40:04,898 Why don't you keep it? 745 00:40:06,828 --> 00:40:10,397 Anyone ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth? 746 00:40:10,832 --> 00:40:12,929 Did you spend the day with my mother? 747 00:40:12,954 --> 00:40:15,414 She essentially treated me as her Ober... 748 00:40:15,439 --> 00:40:16,998 Uber. 749 00:40:22,108 --> 00:40:24,976 What she told me may require some explanation. 750 00:40:25,001 --> 00:40:26,632 She thought so, too. 751 00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:30,116 Lemme just read it to you. 752 00:40:30,904 --> 00:40:32,973 "Dear Wynonna, 753 00:40:33,628 --> 00:40:36,364 don't trust Doc Holliday. 754 00:40:37,843 --> 00:40:40,046 He's not what he says he is." 755 00:40:40,279 --> 00:40:43,172 Did she also say she set Bobo free from the well? 756 00:40:43,197 --> 00:40:45,867 She does love to burn a place down before she runs. 757 00:40:45,892 --> 00:40:47,758 The recklessness of her actions - 758 00:40:47,783 --> 00:40:50,976 I do not see how she could remain here and keep you safe. 759 00:40:51,001 --> 00:40:53,101 Just tell me what you did. 760 00:40:56,244 --> 00:40:57,778 Who are you? 761 00:40:58,546 --> 00:41:01,398 - Who I've always been. - Don't talk to me in riddles. 762 00:41:01,423 --> 00:41:04,132 - How should I talk to you, then? - Like you give a shit about me. 763 00:41:04,157 --> 00:41:06,289 You refused me. 764 00:41:09,151 --> 00:41:11,945 Wynonna, I do care... 765 00:41:12,826 --> 00:41:15,648 You are runnin' out of road, woman. 766 00:41:15,752 --> 00:41:17,684 Tell me what you are. 767 00:41:24,104 --> 00:41:26,375 Kate. 768 00:41:27,340 --> 00:41:30,489 You let her do this. 769 00:41:32,170 --> 00:41:34,326 She had you. 770 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,796 It was the only way. 771 00:41:36,821 --> 00:41:39,366 What about us? 772 00:41:39,391 --> 00:41:41,695 What about Alice? 773 00:41:42,544 --> 00:41:44,390 What would our daughter say 774 00:41:44,415 --> 00:41:47,928 if she knew her father sold his soul?! 775 00:41:47,953 --> 00:41:51,695 You of all people should understand the sacrifices that have been made. 776 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:55,296 You wanted your immortality that badly, selfish asshole?! 777 00:41:55,321 --> 00:41:57,539 You watch your mouth!! 778 00:41:58,694 --> 00:42:00,617 Bite me. 779 00:42:03,262 --> 00:42:05,461 There are some... 780 00:42:06,773 --> 00:42:08,373 advantages... 781 00:42:09,636 --> 00:42:11,659 to you being a vampire. 782 00:42:12,354 --> 00:42:14,155 John Henry Holliday, 783 00:42:14,434 --> 00:42:17,332 you're not welcome in my home anymore. 784 00:42:17,357 --> 00:42:18,629 Don't you do this. 785 00:42:18,654 --> 00:42:21,332 No, you did this. 786 00:42:21,357 --> 00:42:23,535 Not me. 787 00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:34,183 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -