1
00:00:00,134 --> 00:00:02,134
Previously on "Wrecked"...
I'm going to break you

2
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:03,802
and watch you hunt
each other to the death.

3
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,203
Aah!

4
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:07,872
Errol's bracelets
can deliver up to 1,000 volts

5
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,008
of just the touch
of a single button.

6
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,012
Must be a short circuit.

7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,581
Jess!

8
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,888
Ahh!

9
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,557
? We comin' to paint the town ?

10
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,760
What up, hookers?

11
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,227
This is my sister Caitlin L.,

12
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,229
and this is my sister
Caitlynn with two N's.

13
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:35,099
If you're here, it's because we
think you've got what it takes

14
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:38,170
to roll with Phi Gamma Phi.

15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:41,239
But we've got
one more test for you

16
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,241
before you're officially in.

17
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:46,044
Hope you bitches are ready
to ride the lightning.

18
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,380
Who's up first?

19
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,049
Oh, my God, Alison.

20
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,185
I can't believe
we got into Gamma Phi.

21
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,654
This is literally
the best day of my life.

22
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I mean, it's, like, I can just
see the next four years...

23
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,925
Gamma Phi, captain
of the color guard team,

24
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,462
graduation,
and then, L.A., here I come.

25
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:06,731
Oh, my God. Do you think
you'll meet Nicole Richie?

26
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,267
Probably.
I mean, I will be a publicist.

27
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,803
But the most important thing...

28
00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:12,537
is getting out of Arizona.

29
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And it looks so good having
Gamma Phi on your résumé.

30
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It's like the most prestigious
sorority in the whole country.

31
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,212
You're up, donkey slut.
? We gon' own the night ?

32
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,682
Phi Gamma Phi sister till I die!

33
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,351
? We gon' own the night ?

34
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,000
CRÉDITOS

35
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,764
Babe? Time to wake up.

36
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,700
Hey, buddy, I think
you've slapped her enough.

37
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,635
What if you just
let her rest for a bit

38
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,370
and maybe she'll wake up
on her own?

39
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,105
Oh, I'm sorry, Owen.

40
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,973
- Are you a doctor?
- Okay.

41
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,010
Are you a doctor?

42
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:53,912
How about you three numbnuts?

43
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,580
Did you go to med school
together?

44
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,516
Todd, you know none of us
are doctors.

45
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,583
You're damn right I do!

46
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,186
So shut your non-doctor yaps

47
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:04,122
and let me slap my wife awake!

48
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,926
Good morning,
my little caged beasties.

49
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,594
You son of a bitch.

50
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:11,796
You're lucky my arms are too
jacked to fit through this cage,

51
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,932
or I'd be choking you out
right now!

52
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,334
Oh, yes. Your wife.

53
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,803
Has she recovered
from her little shock?

54
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,605
Well, for your information,
she's...

55
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,474
Pbht! Kidding.

56
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,343
I really don't give a goose's
queef about you or your wife.

57
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,880
I'm here because I wish to speak
with your leader.

58
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:31,550
All right. Don't worry, guys.
He's not gonna break me.

59
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,485
I'm just glad I'm the one
that's gonna have to...

60
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,287
Oh, God, no, not you.

61
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,022
I wish to speak
with your leader.

62
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,361
Him, with the mustache.

63
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,030
Steve?!

64
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,699
You think that Steve
is the leader?

65
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,768
And why is that so hard
to believe?

66
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,103
I don't know.

67
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,771
'Cause you got your pants
on backwards?!

68
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:55,507
What?
Oh, no, not again.

69
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,376
Okay. Well done.
One to you.

70
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,913
But to be fair, they look
the same no matter how you...

71
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:03,181
Oh, no, yours are gray on the...

72
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,116
All right, well...

73
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- Oh! My God!
- Oh, my God!

74
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,120
- Jesus, man.
- You see, Owen,

75
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,922
one quality of a great leader

76
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:12,324
is being able to admit
when one makes a mistake.

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How can I help you, Declan...

78
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,330
other than kill you
for murdering my best friend?!

79
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There it is.

80
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That's why I want to speak
with you.

81
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,003
Take him upstairs.

82
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,340
Well, don't worry about me,
gang. Worry about him.

83
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,208
Or what's left of him
after I've done "unh"!

84
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,077
Aah! That's actually
hurting my arm!

85
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That's a little tight
on the side there!

86
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What the hell
am I supposed to do now,

87
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:40,018
just sit back and watch my wife
be all... floppy?

88
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,287
I mean... look at her.

89
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,889
Yeah, it's too bad we don't have
any smelling salts.

90
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,691
??

91
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:49,094
We might not have
smelling salts,

92
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,696
but we've got one better...

93
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,298
Toots!

94
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,301
I wake Jess up like every night
by beefing in bed.

95
00:03:56,303 --> 00:04:00,038
Are you saying that you're gonna
wake her up with a fart?

96
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,439
That's exactly what I'm saying,

97
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,241
unless one of you doctors
disapproves.

98
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,510
Hmm? You? Tall doctor?
Blondie?

99
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,911
Dr. Quinn?

100
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,247
Scraggle hair? Beard?
No? No?

101
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,783
Great!

102
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,586
Then let's fart my wife awake.

103
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:20,392
Normally, this is the part of the story

104
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,061
where the villain removes
the hero's restraints

105
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,397
to show that
he's not afraid of him.

106
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,332
I'd like to see you try.

107
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,733
Aah!

108
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:35,540
But that's the thing...
Steve.

109
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,677
I am afraid of you...

110
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because you're
the only person here

111
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that I think
could actually kill me.

112
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:47,886
And, frankly, I'm intrigued.

113
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,823
Well, let's see just how
intrigued you are now.

114
00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:52,891
Aah!

115
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,427
You get how this works, right?

116
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,629
I mean, I'm just
gonna keep shocking you

117
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,031
every time you do that.

118
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,699
I mean, you're...
You're just illustrating

119
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,167
why I didn't take the bracelet
off you in the first place.

120
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,768
Illustrate this,
you rich bastard.

121
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,704
Aah!

122
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,240
Are we good?

123
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,642
Okay.
I get how it works.

124
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,179
I have a proposal for you,
Steve.

125
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:19,317
But first how about we play
a little gentleman's game...

126
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,853
of chess?

127
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,657
Everybody, zip it!
I'm almost ready.

128
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,326
All right, we got to make it
like we usually sleep.

129
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,995
Danny, put her arm around me.

130
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,133
Put the blanket over us.
Come on. Hurry.

131
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,170
All right, shut up!
Everybody, shut up!

132
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,083
Ohh!

133
00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,886
Come back to me.

134
00:05:53,888 --> 00:05:57,422
Come on, babe.
Come on, baby.

135
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,031
Oh, my God!

136
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,567
Hell, yeah, babe!

137
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,235
Come on!

138
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,905
Where... Where am I?

139
00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:15,240
Where are the Caitlins?

140
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,775
Why does it smell
like corned beef?

141
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:17,976
Babe, calm down...

142
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,177
Hey, back away from me!

143
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:20,979
Relax.
It's us... your friends.

144
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,380
My friends?

145
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,449
My friends are Alison,
Tiffany, Tall Tiffany,

146
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,185
and sometimes Kylie,
when she's not being a bitch.

147
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,387
I've never seen any of you
freaks in my life!

148
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:33,125
Oh, my God.

149
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:36,195
Her brains are scrambled!

150
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,566
Allie?

151
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,700
Tiff? Tall Tiff?

152
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,102
Where are you?

153
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,637
Seriously, this isn't funny.

154
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:49,307
Hey, hon, why don't you tell us
the last thing you remember?

155
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:52,310
Uh, duh. I was standing in
the grand hall of Gamma Phi,

156
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:55,047
I did a lightning shot,
and then I woke up here.

157
00:06:55,049 --> 00:06:56,648
Is this off-campus?

158
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:59,317
Now, could someone please
let me out of here?

159
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,319
I have to get ready for
the Cowboys and Indians party.

160
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,823
That's the night we first met.

161
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,459
Oh, God bless.

162
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,928
She thinks she's in college.

163
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,663
That's why
she doesn't remember me.

164
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,998
She's gone completely...

165
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,868
pre-Todd.

166
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,404
Let me handle this.

167
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:24,742
Jess, buck up
'cause here's the hard truth.

168
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:26,411
You were in a plane crash.

169
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,413
We landed on a deserted island

170
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:31,283
where we were captured
by sexually frustrated pirates.

171
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,685
We stole their cruise ship,
but it sank,

172
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:36,955
and now we're being held captive
by a deranged billionaire

173
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,556
who wants us to hunt each other

174
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,626
so he can watch
and presumably masturbate.

175
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,961
Wait. Karen, no. Karen, come...
You're upsetting her.

176
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:43,963
- Get...
- Okay.

177
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,165
- Hi.
- Hi.

178
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,034
- I'm Owen.
- Hi, Owen.

179
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,235
I'm kinda the leader
of the group.

180
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:53,305
Here's the deal.
You're not 19.

181
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,041
You are actually...

182
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,509
30.

183
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:06,184
Okay, I see what this is...
Part of the initiation.

184
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,054
Hey, Caitlin L., come out now,
you stupid bitch!

185
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,922
Get me away from
these weird townies!

186
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:15,961
Jess, it's true.
See for yourself.

187
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,597
I'm sorry.

188
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,203
Aah!

189
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,938
I'm so old!

190
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,607
Ah, chess.

191
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,878
It truly is a magnificent game,
isn't it?

192
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,213
A thousand strategies
of attack and defense,

193
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,749
all with the same simple goal...

194
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:40,486
To kill the king.

195
00:08:40,488 --> 00:08:44,890
I'm sure you can relate to that,
can't you, Steve?

196
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,758
But the thing with chess

197
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,162
is you always have to think
five steps ahead to ca...

198
00:08:50,164 --> 00:08:52,430
- What does the horsey man do again?
- What?

199
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,501
He's faster than the others,
but I can't remember whether...

200
00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,969
Does he move forwards and
backwards whenever he likes?

201
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,104
No, that's the rook.

202
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,506
Oh, you mean the castle.

203
00:09:00,508 --> 00:09:03,509
Yeah, no, they don't move.
They're made of brick.

204
00:09:03,511 --> 00:09:05,377
Do you not know
how to play chess?

205
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,912
Of course I know
how to play chest.

206
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,915
It's not "chest."
It's "chess," with an "s."

207
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,250
I'm pretty sure
it's "chest."

208
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,785
Why would it be called "chest"?

209
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,454
Because you get a chest
of treasure when you win!

210
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:17,789
- What?!
- I'm sick of...

211
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,258
Let's stop mucking around!
I'm making my move.

212
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:24,596
I pick up and levitate
my priest character.

213
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:29,467
He then swims through all
the prawns into your castle.

214
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,802
Now, he's an undercover priest,

215
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,671
so he seduces your queen
in the middle of the night,

216
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,473
after a dinner.

217
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,474
Okay.

218
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,577
King me.

219
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,348
Why don't we do
a little refresher?

220
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,816
And then we can get back

221
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,152
to our game of chest.

222
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,686
Chess!

223
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:49,888
Chess!

224
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,024
So, you're telling me
that I live in a condo...

225
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,160
in Scottsdale...

226
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,028
with him?

227
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,297
Hell, yeah, you do.
'Sup?

228
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,632
What about L.A.?

229
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,568
Do I at least do P.R.
in Scottsdale?

230
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:03,769
Kinda.

231
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,370
You were a Red Bull girl

232
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,906
till I drove your car
into a Dumpster.

233
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,641
I blew that big old can

234
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,044
right off the top.

235
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:16,114
So, I basically graduated
college, and I did nothing?

236
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,315
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

237
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,917
You didn't graduate.

238
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,119
You dropped out
and moved to the 'Dale with me.

239
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,588
- What?!
- Yeah.

240
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:25,924
I got that sick job offer from
my dad's real-estate company,

241
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,525
and you don't have to work,

242
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:31,930
so you basically sit around
all day doing nothing.

243
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,865
Oh, my God.

244
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,467
I need to be alone.

245
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,669
No. Wait. Jess!

246
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,671
Oh, my God.
She has lost it!

247
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,807
She can't even remember
her kick-ass life!

248
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,676
I just want the old Jess back.

249
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,416
Oh, my God. I can't believe
I didn't see this.

250
00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:53,084
You have to "Notebook" her.

251
00:10:54,422 --> 00:10:56,288
What, like...
slap her with one?

252
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,423
- Oh, no.
- What? No. What?

253
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,825
- No!
- The movie.

254
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,560
When old Rachel McAdams
loses her memory

255
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,230
and so then old Ryan Gosling
tells her the story

256
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,365
of how they fell in love
to get it back.

257
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,834
Maybe if you tell her
a story like that,

258
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,502
she'll get her memory back.

259
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:14,172
That could work. All college
girls love them some "Notebook."

260
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,841
So, think, man.

261
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:19,778
What's, like, the most romantic
memory you got?

262
00:11:20,648 --> 00:11:22,247
Easy.

263
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,382
My buddy Tug Nut's
bachelor party.

264
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,251
He had a Slip 'N Slide
on the roof,

265
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,585
landed in a baby pool

266
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:30,055
full of some
naughty little Jell-O shots.

267
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,256
- What?!
- Yeah.

268
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,458
Was Jess even there?

269
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,992
Well, you didn't say
she had to be there.

270
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,793
- Unh!
- Oh, wow!

271
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,063
- Of course she has to be there, Todd!
- What do you want?

272
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,597
You want to know about
the first time

273
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,932
that I knew that I loved her?

274
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,068
- Yes!
- Yes! That's literally what we're saying!

275
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,470
- Yes!
- Okay!

276
00:11:44,472 --> 00:11:46,672
Stop shitting yourselves!
Okay!

277
00:11:46,674 --> 00:11:48,940
I'll tell you!

278
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:53,011
It was the first time that
I took her to a golf course.

279
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,680
It was a Sunday.

280
00:11:54,682 --> 00:11:58,750
She looked so beautiful
in that morning light.

281
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,486
Wait.

282
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:03,355
Don't tell me.

283
00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:05,491
Tell her.

284
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:07,693
I told you I don't know
a "Bennifer."

285
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:09,961
Well, is Britney
still with K-Fed?

286
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,497
'Sup, Jess?

287
00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:14,032
I was wondering
if I could tell you a story,

288
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:17,235
the story...

289
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,504
of us.

290
00:12:18,506 --> 00:12:22,240
Uh, are you trying
to "Notebook" me right now?

291
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,644
Because I love that movie!

292
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,046
Told you.

293
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,447
Sick.

294
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,517
It was the summer of 2006...

295
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:34,052
two weeks before
we moved to Scottsdale.

296
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:37,389
I'd never taken a girl with me
to the golf course before.

297
00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:42,060
? There used to be a greying
tower alone on the sea ?

298
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,196
Babe!

299
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,463
? And you... ?

300
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,399
- Sorry.
- I said club me.

301
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:49,067
Just listening to our song.

302
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,869
One...
That's not our song.

303
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,271
Our song is "Blurry"
by Puddle Of Mudd.

304
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:57,142
Two... if you want to hang out
with me on the links,

305
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,277
you have to pay attention
to the... Wait.

306
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:04,750
A muscle-back wedge
with the grooved clubface?

307
00:13:04,752 --> 00:13:06,485
That's...

308
00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:11,757
the perfect club for this shot.

309
00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:13,491
Well, yeah, you're gonna
want to get some spin

310
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,027
if you want to
get over the lake, right?

311
00:13:15,029 --> 00:13:18,696
It's not like I'm gonna hand you
a cavity-back like some idiot.

312
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:25,237
Babe, you find a new way to
amazing me every single day.

313
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,174
Oh, that is so cute!

314
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:33,278
Flo, shut up. I haven't even
gotten to the good part.

315
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,048
Now watch me crush this shot.

316
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,523
I love you.

317
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,525
Oh! God damn it!

318
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,927
What are you doing?!

319
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,729
I told you not to talk
while I'm swinging it!

320
00:13:50,731 --> 00:13:53,131
I literally just told you
I loved you, Todd.

321
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,800
Well, maybe you could have
waited until...

322
00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,002
Oh, I don't know...
After the shot!

323
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,805
- After the shot?! Are you kidding me?!
- I was having an incredible game!

324
00:13:59,807 --> 00:14:00,873
Oh, my God!

325
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,142
Oh, no.

326
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,412
You just think you can do
whatever you want.

327
00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:08,680
What I want is for you
to hand me a dang club.

328
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,881
- Oh, one of these clubs?
- Yes.

329
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,350
Huh? Yeah.
How about this one, huh?

330
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,752
You're going the wrong way.

331
00:14:13,754 --> 00:14:15,553
Say goodbye to your iron, bitch!

332
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,089
What are you doing?!

333
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:18,290
No!

334
00:14:19,627 --> 00:14:20,959
No! Wait. Hey!

335
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,694
I bought these for you,
you asshole!

336
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,696
God damn it!
Unh! Get off me!

337
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,964
Aah!

338
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,633
Sir, sir...

339
00:14:27,635 --> 00:14:28,900
- What?!
- Maybe you should just calm down.

340
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,035
What are you doing?

341
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,970
Step off, you old
Don't touch him.

342
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,771
I-I thought
he was bothering you.

343
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,441
You're bothering me.
Scram, you old sack of potatoes,

344
00:14:35,443 --> 00:14:37,175
you nasty, wrinkly old...

345
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:43,449
? Baby, I compare you to a kiss
from a rose on the... ?

346
00:14:43,451 --> 00:14:45,583
That was when you knew
you loved me?

347
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,987
Hell, yeah. When you swept
that old fart's legs,

348
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,188
I knew you were the one.

349
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:53,591
Oh, my God. You literally
turned me into a monster.

350
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,193
Oh, yeah?

351
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,928
Well, you married me.

352
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,798
We're married?

353
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,599
Yeah.
A couple days ago,

354
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,801
on a Red Hot Chili Peppers
cruise ship...

355
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,203
My dream wedding.

356
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,006
You.
You ruined my life.

357
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,942
I never want to see you again,
so just go!

358
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,744
- Get out of here!
- Get out of where?

359
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,346
We're locked in a cage!

360
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,681
Then go hide in that toilet,
you turd!

361
00:15:15,683 --> 00:15:17,749
The only turd here is you!

362
00:15:19,999 --> 00:15:25,499
CRÉDITOS

363
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,634
Sorry you're going through this.

364
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,302
It's a lot to take in.

365
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,971
Shhyeah.

366
00:15:38,973 --> 00:15:42,106
I just had this dream
of how my life would turn out.

367
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,109
I'd be a successful publicist.

368
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,244
I'd be married to Mark Hoppus
from blink-182

369
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,913
and have two kids
named Buffy and Angel.

370
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,784
None of it turned out
the way I thought it would.

371
00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:54,787
I had dreams, too.

372
00:15:54,789 --> 00:15:56,321
I figured this would be the year

373
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,391
I'd make Variety's
Top 35 Agents Under 35

374
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:02,327
Without a Sexual Harassment
Lawsuit.

375
00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:05,864
What's Variety?

376
00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:09,134
It's just, like, the most important
show-biz magazine in Hollywood.

377
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,804
Everyone who's anyone reads it.

378
00:16:11,806 --> 00:16:14,206
It's, like,
really big in L.A.

379
00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:17,009
You live in L.A.?

380
00:16:17,011 --> 00:16:20,345
Hey, Danny, quick question
about "The Notebook."

381
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,015
Does Ryan Gosling
end up killing himself

382
00:16:23,017 --> 00:16:26,018
because he's lost everything?!

383
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:28,220
I don't know how you got her
in the first place, man.

384
00:16:28,222 --> 00:16:29,554
That story was awful.

385
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,956
Not for me.
It friggin' ruled.

386
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,359
Exactly.
It ruled for you.

387
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,694
All of your stories
are about you.

388
00:16:35,696 --> 00:16:37,696
Your entire relationship
is about you.

389
00:16:37,698 --> 00:16:39,564
So, what?

390
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,034
You're saying I should...

391
00:16:44,705 --> 00:16:48,106
Do something nice for her,
you moron!

392
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,476
How am I getting this
before you?

393
00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:55,914
I know one stupid-ass thing
she'll friggin' love.

394
00:16:55,916 --> 00:16:58,116
But I'm gonna need your help.

395
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,718
Jumba...

396
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,253
Can you sing baritone?

397
00:17:01,255 --> 00:17:03,522
I don't know.

398
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:10,629
? Can I? ?

399
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,600
Okay, so... so... so,
you've... you've got it now?

400
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:16,735
You...
You know all the pieces?

401
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,070
I'm with you 100%.

402
00:17:18,072 --> 00:17:20,004
Good. All right.
So, where was I?

403
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:23,275
You have to think
five steps ahead and...

404
00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:27,412
So, tell me, Steve.

405
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,948
What will you do
with your next move?

406
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,950
Capture one of my pawns?

407
00:17:31,952 --> 00:17:35,820
Or will you keep your eye
on the main prize?

408
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,223
Easy.
I will move my king.

409
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:39,692
Nope. Nope.
That's your queen.

410
00:17:39,694 --> 00:17:41,159
It can't be.
It doesn't have boobs.

411
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,962
No, it doesn't have boobs!
None of them have boobs!

412
00:17:43,964 --> 00:17:45,497
None of them have boobs!

413
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:48,300
How many times
do I have to tell you that?!

414
00:17:48,302 --> 00:17:50,235
Jesus Christ!

415
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,771
I was trying to use chess
as a metaphor!

416
00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:54,172
A metaphor for what?

417
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,841
To tell you that
I have placed a sizable bet

418
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,110
on you winning The Hunt.

419
00:17:58,112 --> 00:18:00,312
I was trying to give you
an edge.

420
00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:03,248
What makes you think
I want to help you?

421
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,516
Because you want to kill me,

422
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,319
and the only way you're ever
gonna get close enough

423
00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:08,853
is if you win The Hunt.

424
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,856
We hunt the winner.

425
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:16,194
Guard! Could you please
take him away?

426
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,130
You have, like,
the perfect life.

427
00:18:18,132 --> 00:18:21,199
Hey, Jess, I want to say
something to you.

428
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,535
Ugh.
What is it now?

429
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,937
Hit it, Danny.

430
00:18:24,939 --> 00:18:27,872
One, two, three, one, two.

431
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:31,944
? Ba-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da ?

432
00:18:31,946 --> 00:18:33,545
? Ba-ya-ya ?

433
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:37,816
? There used to be
a greying tower ?

434
00:18:37,818 --> 00:18:40,552
? Alone on the sea ?

435
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:47,359
? You became the light
to the dark side of me ?

436
00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:54,032
? Love remains a drug
that's the high, not the pill ?

437
00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:55,567
? But did you know ?
- ? Know ?

438
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:57,101
- ? That when it snows ?
- ? Snows ?

439
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,237
? My eyes become wide ?

440
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:05,510
? And the light that you shine
can be see-ee-n? ?

441
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:06,979
? Baby! ?

442
00:19:06,981 --> 00:19:08,313
? I compare you to a kiss... ?

443
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,848
- Okay. Thank you.
- Yeah? What?

444
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:11,316
You can stop now.
Oh. Nice.

445
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,718
Did it work?
Do you remember me?

446
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,987
No.

447
00:19:14,989 --> 00:19:16,889
But this is really sweet.

448
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:20,124
But I still don't know
who you are.

449
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,727
I don't even know who I am.

450
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:26,130
I just know that...

451
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,000
I can't be your wife.

452
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,809
I'm sorry.

453
00:19:36,811 --> 00:19:39,011
I guess today's the first day

454
00:19:39,013 --> 00:19:41,613
of me trying to win you back.

455
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,948
Cool.

456
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,550
It's the coolest.

457
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,085
See ya.

458
00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:50,288
Hey, man,
you did everything you could.

459
00:19:56,096 --> 00:19:59,097
Oh! You don't deserve
that cool hat!

460
00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:00,432
Steve, what happened?

461
00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:02,367
Well, nothing much.

462
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,769
He just wanted me to play this
stupid game that he made up.

463
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:09,041
It's about a king and a boobless
queen and some horse people.

464
00:20:09,043 --> 00:20:12,377
Do you mean chess?
Oh, my God.

465
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,645
Guys, did you even know

466
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,848
that I was the chess state
champion in high school?

467
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,382
It should have been me in there.

468
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:20,118
But would you have been able
to swipe this?

469
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,319
What is that?

470
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,321
It's a priest character
from the game.

471
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,390
- You mean a bishop?
- Well, yeah, whatever.

472
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:28,527
My point is,
I risked my life to steal this.

473
00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:30,689
What the hell
are we supposed to do with it?

474
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,534
I don't know.
Pick a lock with it or...

475
00:20:35,536 --> 00:20:36,601
- What?!
- Come on!

476
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:37,870
- Ohh.
- Steve!

477
00:20:37,872 --> 00:20:40,472
Okay. You had no plan?
You just grabbed whatever?

478
00:20:40,474 --> 00:20:42,207
This could be our ticket
out of here.

479
00:20:42,209 --> 00:20:45,144
There wasn't anything else
you could have taken?

480
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:47,946
Yeah.

481
00:20:47,948 --> 00:20:51,083
No, it was a room
full of objects, so...

482
00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:52,217
There was a knife.

483
00:20:52,219 --> 00:20:53,351
What?!

484
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:54,553
There was a radio in the corner.

485
00:20:54,555 --> 00:20:55,820
- Steve!
- A radio?!

486
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:56,955
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God!

487
00:20:56,957 --> 00:20:58,156
And there's the remote

488
00:20:58,158 --> 00:20:59,824
for these buzzy bracelets.

489
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,093
- Come on!
- Oh. Steve.

490
00:21:01,095 --> 00:21:02,261
You're the dumbest person!

491
00:21:02,285 --> 00:21:05,285
CRÉDITOS