1 00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:09,841 Ask not what your country can do for you. 2 00:00:09,924 --> 00:00:12,508 Ask what you can do for your country. 3 00:00:12,591 --> 00:00:14,133 Mr. Gorbachev, 4 00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:16,466 tear down this wall! 5 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,383 The only thing we have to fear 6 00:00:19,466 --> 00:00:21,008 is fear itself! 7 00:00:21,091 --> 00:00:23,591 "Uhh, I don't know what I said. Uhh!" 8 00:00:38,489 --> 00:00:42,458 Who Is America? - 01x07 - Episode 7 Resync and correct 9 00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:58,550 I don't remember! 10 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,091 We are going to drain the swamp 11 00:01:34,174 --> 00:01:37,466 in Washington, D.C. 12 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:41,133 I believe that the mentally ill need guns, 13 00:01:41,216 --> 00:01:43,049 because they are the people who are most bullied. 14 00:01:52,508 --> 00:01:54,716 I am, uh, Billy Wayne Ruddock. 15 00:01:54,799 --> 00:01:58,716 I'm here with Barney Frank, who was a congressman 16 00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:01,300 - and who now is no longer a congressman. - True. 17 00:02:01,383 --> 00:02:02,799 I believe you are from 18 00:02:02,882 --> 00:02:04,216 a different political perspective than me. 19 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:07,049 So let me ask you. 20 00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:09,799 Do you accept that Donald J. Trump 21 00:02:09,882 --> 00:02:12,174 is the greatest president this country has ever known? 22 00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,466 Oh, not... not... not... not at all. 23 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:17,008 - What? - The answer is, no, not at all. 24 00:02:17,091 --> 00:02:21,383 As of now, very little in public policy has changed. 25 00:02:21,466 --> 00:02:24,008 - Fake news. - What's fake news? 26 00:02:24,091 --> 00:02:25,799 You think he is, I think he isn't. 27 00:02:25,882 --> 00:02:28,049 Fine. Well, let's agree to disagree. 28 00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,757 So, we're gonna talk about something 29 00:02:30,841 --> 00:02:34,383 that might be difficult for you, something called facts, and... 30 00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:35,757 Again, w-what... 31 00:02:35,841 --> 00:02:38,425 Th-That's a sort of gratuitous insult. 32 00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,966 I did come hoping to have a relaxed conversation, 33 00:02:41,049 --> 00:02:43,258 and you seem to me to be somewhat on edge about this. 34 00:02:43,341 --> 00:02:44,466 - Not at all. - Oh, well... 35 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,300 I'm extremely relaxed. And I'm comfortable. 36 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,966 - Okay. I, uh... - I brought my own chair. 37 00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:51,924 CNN, the Communist News Network, 38 00:02:52,008 --> 00:02:55,924 put out a myth which was called Vaginal-gate, 39 00:02:56,008 --> 00:03:00,133 where they scurrilously tried to imply 40 00:03:00,216 --> 00:03:04,341 that the President had said horrendous things about women, 41 00:03:04,425 --> 00:03:05,966 which was completely untrue! 42 00:03:06,049 --> 00:03:07,757 Oh, you think the tape was false? 43 00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:09,174 Yes, I do. And I have proof. 44 00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:10,966 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. 45 00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,841 I think that's deluded. What's your proof? 46 00:03:12,924 --> 00:03:14,757 Deluded?! Well, that is... that is an insult, sir. 47 00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:17,049 - Yes, it's meant to be. - That is meant to be an insult? 48 00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:19,008 - Yes. - Well, let me show you. 49 00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,799 - Hold on, sir. - I'm not going anywhere. 50 00:03:29,882 --> 00:03:31,466 What are you... What are you worrying about? 51 00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:34,091 Access Hollywood. 52 00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:38,133 What actually happened was they edited the sound. 53 00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:41,133 It was a longer conversation that was edited down. 54 00:03:41,216 --> 00:03:43,757 Okay, but did he not say "grab 'em by the pussy"? 55 00:03:43,841 --> 00:03:46,591 He did not. Billy Bush was talking 56 00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:50,508 about a rat infestation that he had. 57 00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:55,383 This, sir, is the undoctored, unedited audio... 58 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:58,632 - Where'd you get it? - From RealNewsKansas.org. 59 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:01,841 - Okay. - Hear it, sir, please. 60 00:04:01,924 --> 00:04:05,008 Don't immediately dismiss it. 61 00:04:05,091 --> 00:04:06,550 Yeah, that's her, with the gold. 62 00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:10,300 I got a real problem with mice in my house. 63 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,091 How do I pick them up? 64 00:04:12,174 --> 00:04:13,882 - Grab 'em. - Okay. 65 00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:15,591 But I'm thinking of purchasing a cat 66 00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:17,466 to catch those mice. 67 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,425 Do you think I should purchase a cat? 68 00:04:19,508 --> 00:04:20,924 Buy the pussy. 69 00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:23,300 - That doesn't make any sense. - "Grab them." 70 00:04:23,383 --> 00:04:25,757 Yeah, I think you've... I think that's a fabrication. 71 00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:28,258 - How is that a fabrication? - Because somebody fabricated it. 72 00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:30,466 - Look, I got to tell you... - You heard it. That is evidence. 73 00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:32,008 That is black-and-white! 74 00:04:32,091 --> 00:04:33,757 This is... The fabrication what you played, 75 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,008 it doesn't make sense. 76 00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,300 No, I don't believe that Donald Bu... 77 00:04:36,383 --> 00:04:38,632 Donald Trump was giving Billy Bush advice 78 00:04:38,716 --> 00:04:40,341 about how to catch rats. 79 00:04:40,425 --> 00:04:43,799 So, let's talk about crooked Hillary. 80 00:04:43,882 --> 00:04:46,841 Did you support her in her nefarious plan 81 00:04:46,924 --> 00:04:50,550 to take over the presidency? 82 00:04:50,632 --> 00:04:52,383 I supported her in her, uh, plan 83 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,924 to be elected to the presidency. 84 00:04:54,008 --> 00:04:57,216 - So, did you support her? - I just said yes. 85 00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:00,716 Do you at least admit, Congressman Frank, 86 00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:04,799 that Hillary Clinton was running a pedophile ring 87 00:05:04,882 --> 00:05:07,383 - underneath the pizza... - Oh, thank you. That is... 88 00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:10,133 the pizza restaurant right here in Washington? 89 00:05:10,216 --> 00:05:12,216 No, I'm glad that you said that, because... 90 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,008 Thank you. Will you agree to that? And I appreciate that. 91 00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:15,841 No, I'm not shaking hands on that, because... 92 00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,632 Well, that's rude. ...it's a despicable lie. 93 00:05:17,716 --> 00:05:20,133 How do you respond, sir, to this proof? 94 00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:27,341 This is a receipt from the very same pizza parlor. 95 00:05:27,425 --> 00:05:30,008 Ping Pong Comet. Do you agree? 96 00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:32,049 I... It's a receipt from Ping Pong Comet. 97 00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:35,216 What's the proof that it's part of a child-pornography ring? 98 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,757 It says "CHILD" and, next to it, "FREE." 99 00:05:37,841 --> 00:05:40,425 Yeah. They were giving away children for free. 100 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,757 That is sick. At least... 101 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,466 They were not giving away children, sir. 102 00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:46,174 That meant that the children came in for free, 103 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,674 not that the children were given away for free. 104 00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:50,966 This is purchased from eBay, sir, from eBay, 105 00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:53,966 from a seller who is 94% ratified. 106 00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,258 If you were in the process of running a ring, 107 00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:58,341 you wouldn't have a printed receipt to give out 108 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,383 as proof of your criminality, But what "CHILD FREE" means... 109 00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:03,466 That is how stupid the Clintons are. 110 00:06:03,550 --> 00:06:05,049 I'm... I'm not gonna put... 111 00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:08,632 But do you at least admit that North Korea controls the news? 112 00:06:09,799 --> 00:06:11,216 I'll take that as a yes. 113 00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:20,174 Today, the biggest terror threat in America 114 00:06:20,258 --> 00:06:23,341 comes from radical liberals called Antifa. 115 00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:30,091 These Nissan Leaf -driving vegans 116 00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:31,466 are dangerous... 117 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,383 too dangerous for me alone. 118 00:06:33,466 --> 00:06:36,674 I'm gonna need some backup. Yalla. Let's go. 119 00:06:44,049 --> 00:06:45,716 I think there's blame on both sides, 120 00:06:45,799 --> 00:06:47,425 and I have no doubt about it. 121 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,049 What about the alt-left? 122 00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:52,091 They came charging at the, as you say, the alt-right. 123 00:06:52,174 --> 00:06:55,008 Do they have any semblance of guilt? 124 00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:57,757 I need a warrior to help me on my mission, 125 00:06:57,841 --> 00:07:00,425 so I go to America's heartland 126 00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,882 to pick one of three contestants, 127 00:07:02,966 --> 00:07:05,632 all of whom have already proven their courage 128 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,049 by anonymously attacking 129 00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:10,508 women, immigrants, and homos on the Internet. 130 00:07:10,591 --> 00:07:14,341 There are at least 50 documented terrorist training camps 131 00:07:14,425 --> 00:07:16,674 in the continental United States. 132 00:07:16,757 --> 00:07:19,632 What is the most dangerous terror group 133 00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:20,882 in the United States? 134 00:07:20,966 --> 00:07:22,966 - I don't know. - Antifa. 135 00:07:23,049 --> 00:07:24,591 - Antifa. - Yes. 136 00:07:24,674 --> 00:07:26,216 Who are Antifa? 137 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,425 They're the anti-fascists. 138 00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:28,966 They want to take down everything 139 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,466 that our current president is doing right. 140 00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,799 What will happen if they have their way 141 00:07:33,882 --> 00:07:35,550 and get rid of fascists? 142 00:07:35,632 --> 00:07:37,258 How will America be? 143 00:07:37,341 --> 00:07:40,300 We will be... become a shithole country. 144 00:07:40,383 --> 00:07:42,841 We know that Antifa are planning something. 145 00:07:42,924 --> 00:07:45,174 Who is brave enough 146 00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:48,383 to tackle these anti-fascist terrorists? 147 00:07:48,466 --> 00:07:49,508 - I will. - I will. 148 00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:50,924 I've been thinking about it a lot. 149 00:07:51,008 --> 00:07:52,674 Train me, equip me, I'll do it. 150 00:07:52,757 --> 00:07:54,924 To infiltrate Antifa, 151 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,841 we have to know how to walk and talk, 152 00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:02,133 eat and even smell like a liberal. 153 00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:09,383 How long do you cook quinoa for? 154 00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:11,674 Couldn't tell ya. 155 00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,174 - I don't know what that is. - Nine minutes. 156 00:08:14,258 --> 00:08:17,174 What is the recommended rear tire pressure 157 00:08:17,258 --> 00:08:19,091 of the Nissan Leaf? 158 00:08:19,174 --> 00:08:21,133 32 pounds per square inch. 159 00:08:21,216 --> 00:08:23,133 - 35. - 35. 160 00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,799 It's actually 35 to 36, but... 161 00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,508 - Good. I like the detail. - Yeah. 162 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,508 There is a television show here... Girls. 163 00:08:30,591 --> 00:08:31,882 I don't... I don't... 164 00:08:31,966 --> 00:08:33,716 - I'm not even familiar with it. - Yeah. 165 00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:38,091 There is a lead actor called Lena Dunham. 166 00:08:38,174 --> 00:08:40,216 - She is a liberal. - Yes. 167 00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:42,632 They like to use this as a code word. 168 00:08:42,716 --> 00:08:46,466 They say, "Ah, what's your favorite episode of Girls?" 169 00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:48,550 Oh, okay. So kind of like an introduction. 170 00:08:48,632 --> 00:08:51,133 You don't have to learn all of it. Learn one. 171 00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:54,008 Season two, episode shalosh. 172 00:08:54,091 --> 00:08:57,882 In this one, Hannah gets to know her neighbor, Laird. 173 00:08:57,966 --> 00:08:59,383 Meanwhile, Marnie meets 174 00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:02,383 her old artist flame, Booth Jonathan, 175 00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:06,383 who take her home to show her the studio. 176 00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:09,216 Dude, what's your favorite episode of Girls? 177 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,674 Gosh, I like season two, episode three. 178 00:09:11,757 --> 00:09:15,091 Good. Okay. So, let's do introduction. 179 00:09:15,174 --> 00:09:16,841 You pretend to be liberal. Go. 180 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,924 Dude, what's your favorite episode of Girls, man? 181 00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:21,008 Oh, I like season one, episode six. 182 00:09:21,091 --> 00:09:22,383 What is your favorite episode? 183 00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:24,383 I like season two, episode three. 184 00:09:24,466 --> 00:09:26,341 She... She did a bunch of stuff on the thing. 185 00:09:26,425 --> 00:09:28,508 She met her neighbor downstairs, and, uh... 186 00:09:28,591 --> 00:09:30,632 What was the neighbor called? 187 00:09:30,716 --> 00:09:32,216 - Lost it. - Bang! Out! 188 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,508 - He is an infiltrator. - Yep. 189 00:09:34,591 --> 00:09:38,799 Remember, the neighbor downstairs is called Laird. 190 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,425 - Laird. - Good. 191 00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:42,216 What else happened in this episode? 192 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:46,674 She went to her ex-flame's studio apartment. 193 00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:48,757 - And what was his name? - Booth Jonathan. 194 00:09:48,841 --> 00:09:50,591 And who went? 195 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:51,924 - Anna. - No! 196 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,632 - Laird. - Laird is the downstairs neighbor. 197 00:09:54,716 --> 00:09:55,924 That went with Jonathan... 198 00:09:56,008 --> 00:09:56,966 - Marnie! - Oh, Marnie. 199 00:09:57,049 --> 00:09:59,632 - Marnie, Marnie. - Marnie. 200 00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:02,591 Convince me you are a liberal. 201 00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:04,133 What's your favorite episode of Girls? 202 00:10:04,216 --> 00:10:05,716 Season one, episode seven. 203 00:10:05,799 --> 00:10:07,425 What is your favorite episode of Girls? 204 00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:09,258 Mine's season two, episode three. 205 00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:10,508 What happens in it? 206 00:10:10,591 --> 00:10:13,008 That's where, uh, An... Hannah 207 00:10:13,091 --> 00:10:15,300 meets her, uh, downstairs neighbor, Laird. 208 00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:18,383 And, uh, Maria meets her... her... 209 00:10:18,466 --> 00:10:19,674 Oh, shit. 210 00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:20,841 - Marnie. - Marnie. 211 00:10:22,174 --> 00:10:23,425 Marnie! 212 00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,674 - Say after me. Marnie. - Marnie. 213 00:10:25,757 --> 00:10:26,799 Say it ten times. 214 00:10:26,882 --> 00:10:29,591 Marnie. Marnie. Marnie. Marnie. 215 00:10:29,674 --> 00:10:32,674 Marnie. Marnie. Marnie. Marnie. 216 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,924 Marnie. Marnie. 217 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,049 Enough. That's eleven. 218 00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:37,757 What is the aim of the MeToo Movement? 219 00:10:37,841 --> 00:10:39,841 - To take over the world. - Of course. 220 00:10:39,924 --> 00:10:41,466 And what will they do 221 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:42,757 when they take over the world, these feminists? 222 00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:45,508 - Kill all the men. - Of course. 223 00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:49,216 So, one thing that the liberal men are is what? 224 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,882 Oh, they're such pussies. 225 00:10:50,966 --> 00:10:52,591 One thing that you will have to learn 226 00:10:52,674 --> 00:10:55,216 how to do as a liberal man 227 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,341 is to give other men compliments. 228 00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:04,716 Convince me that you liberals 229 00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,632 by giving each other compliments. 230 00:11:08,258 --> 00:11:10,049 Hi, Cody. My name's Glenn. 231 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:12,049 I love the way your shirt fits you. 232 00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:14,300 Thank you. I love the way you smell. 233 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,341 I love your hair, too, the way it looks, 234 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,216 the way it just hangs just above your ears. 235 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,508 Well, thank you. I love your legs. 236 00:11:20,591 --> 00:11:22,425 Yeah, your clothes fit you nice. 237 00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:25,091 You have the best chest and shoulders I've ever seen. 238 00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:26,425 Love your eyes, man. 239 00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:28,716 - Yeah, I love those cheeks. - Mm-hmm. 240 00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:31,091 In case there are radical lesbians 241 00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:33,466 that we need to go undercover as, 242 00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:36,966 I need you to know real information about lesbians 243 00:11:37,049 --> 00:11:38,716 so that you can be one of them. 244 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,632 - Are you ready to learn? - Yes. 245 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,550 Describe the typical clothes of the lesbian. 246 00:11:47,632 --> 00:11:51,383 Flannel shirt, short hair, uh, men's jeans, men's... 247 00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:55,300 Just T-shirts and just trying to look like a guy. 248 00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:59,550 37% of lesbian dress like Charlie Chaplin. 249 00:12:01,966 --> 00:12:04,425 Why, we don't know. 250 00:12:04,508 --> 00:12:07,425 So, we are going to learn some phrases 251 00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:10,550 in case you have to be a radical lesbian tomorrow. 252 00:12:10,632 --> 00:12:12,174 That's what we're here to do. 253 00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:15,799 "I hate penises." Repeat after me. 254 00:12:15,882 --> 00:12:17,258 I hate penises. 255 00:12:17,341 --> 00:12:18,841 Say it like you believe it. 256 00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:21,133 - I hate fucking penises. - Good. 257 00:12:21,216 --> 00:12:24,216 How do you think a lesbian will greet each other? 258 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,091 - Never put any thought into it. - A hug? 259 00:12:26,174 --> 00:12:27,632 "I just seen that fucking asshole 260 00:12:27,716 --> 00:12:30,174 with a penis down there. How you doing?" 261 00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:31,966 Good. Pretend to be a lesbian. 262 00:12:33,674 --> 00:12:35,216 Is there any good pussy-tail going on around here? 263 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,674 Pussy-tail? What is pussy-tail? 264 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,174 Sorry. I-I was gonna say "tail," not "pussy." 265 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,258 Okay. And what do you think about the male genitals? 266 00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:44,841 I hate penises. I really, really do. 267 00:12:44,924 --> 00:12:47,049 Okay. Convince me you are a lesbian. 268 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,882 Um, you know, the toughest thing for me was coming out 269 00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:52,425 when I was at my folks' house, when I was about 18 years old. 270 00:12:52,508 --> 00:12:53,924 - You like penises? - Oh, hell, no. 271 00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:56,008 That's why I'm down here looking for some little action, 272 00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:57,508 a little pussy action. 273 00:12:57,591 --> 00:13:00,133 I hate penises. 274 00:13:00,216 --> 00:13:04,550 So, I want you now... we do a role-ing play. 275 00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:06,841 They are suspicious. 276 00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:10,716 In order to convince them that you are a radical liberal, 277 00:13:10,799 --> 00:13:14,383 you will have to be able to show disrespect 278 00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:17,591 to the man we all admire most. 279 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:24,216 Yeah, that will be hard. But I will do it. 280 00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:30,591 I hate that son of a bitch. Man, he golfs every day. 281 00:13:30,674 --> 00:13:33,216 He doesn't get his shit done, talks down. 282 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,632 He's prejudiced against anybody that comes to the country, 283 00:13:35,716 --> 00:13:37,674 just a fat out-of-shape motherfucker. 284 00:13:37,757 --> 00:13:40,300 Are you really liberal? I'm suspicious. Prove it. 285 00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:41,882 I hate this piece of shit. 286 00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:43,383 Just bend him over and fuck him, 287 00:13:43,466 --> 00:13:45,383 piece of fucking shit. Prove you don't like him. 288 00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:48,091 Prove that you really are a liberal. 289 00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:51,049 Fuck you, bitch. To the manhood. Fuck you. 290 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:54,049 Good. Next. 291 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,716 Ahh, yeah, yeah! 292 00:13:55,799 --> 00:13:57,383 Yeah, titty-fuck you, motherfucker. 293 00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:59,341 Yeah, take that shit, huh? You likin' it? 294 00:13:59,425 --> 00:14:02,799 I think you are pro-Trump. 295 00:14:02,882 --> 00:14:04,716 - Yeah, huh? - Yeah. 296 00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:08,966 Okay. What happens if they say, "We are not convinced"? 297 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,882 - Yeah, spread those, baby. - Yeah, take that shit, dude. 298 00:14:11,966 --> 00:14:14,674 Yeah. 299 00:14:14,757 --> 00:14:18,300 Yeah, yeah. Come here. 300 00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:20,341 - Yeah. Come on, dude. - Yeah. 301 00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:22,966 Oh, how's that feel, Mr. Trump? 302 00:14:23,049 --> 00:14:25,425 Where are those taxes, by the way? 303 00:14:25,508 --> 00:14:27,091 Now that the training is finished, 304 00:14:27,174 --> 00:14:29,258 it was time to choose my partner. 305 00:14:29,341 --> 00:14:30,924 Cody, you are going home. 306 00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:33,258 I am sorry. 307 00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:36,133 Darren. You are going home. 308 00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:40,591 Glenn was perfect for the mission. 309 00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:42,757 So with his training complete, 310 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,550 it was time to fly to the most dangerous 311 00:14:45,632 --> 00:14:48,632 terrorist gathering in the world... 312 00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:51,591 the Women's March in San Francisco! 313 00:14:51,674 --> 00:14:54,258 So, there is important development. 314 00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:59,300 Overnight, we have received new intel. 315 00:14:59,383 --> 00:15:03,841 There is a radical lesbian cell from New York. 316 00:15:03,924 --> 00:15:08,508 They have developed a special type of diaper. 317 00:15:08,591 --> 00:15:12,174 The diaper have hormone-um in it. 318 00:15:12,258 --> 00:15:15,258 When the baby wear this diaper, 319 00:15:15,341 --> 00:15:18,799 it will turn the baby into a trans-gander. 320 00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:24,133 The local Berkeley Antifa 321 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:26,757 will mass-produce this diaper 322 00:15:26,841 --> 00:15:30,841 and put it into every Republican store. 323 00:15:30,924 --> 00:15:32,300 That's genocide. 324 00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:36,008 - The local Berkeley Antifa cell... - Yes. 325 00:15:36,091 --> 00:15:39,841 ...are expecting to meet these two radical lesbians. 326 00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:41,174 Uh-huh. 327 00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:42,841 Nobody is going to come here. 328 00:15:42,924 --> 00:15:44,799 - You know why? - Why? 329 00:15:44,882 --> 00:15:47,882 Because they missed their flight, somehow. 330 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,383 Oh, oh! Oh, okay. 331 00:15:56,841 --> 00:15:58,924 Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. 332 00:15:59,008 --> 00:16:00,924 Mm-hmm, that's good. 333 00:16:01,008 --> 00:16:02,341 Mm-hmm. 334 00:16:09,882 --> 00:16:15,341 This give us the opportunity to go under the covers. 335 00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:17,466 You will play Dr. Deborah Levine. 336 00:16:17,550 --> 00:16:18,799 Oh. 337 00:16:18,882 --> 00:16:23,049 She is the genius who have created this hormone. 338 00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,550 Mm-hmm. 339 00:16:24,632 --> 00:16:25,882 I will be playing 340 00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:29,799 Dr. Levine's partner of 12 years, Sandra. 341 00:16:29,882 --> 00:16:31,174 Okay. 342 00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,133 My name is Dr. Deborah Levine. 343 00:16:44,216 --> 00:16:46,757 And Sandra. We are lesbians. 344 00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,966 We have... I know. I could tell. Sorry. Oh, good, good. 345 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,216 I didn't mean to be judgy. 346 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,133 We will, number one, 347 00:16:53,216 --> 00:16:56,049 convince them that we are radical lesbians 348 00:16:56,133 --> 00:16:58,924 using everything that I taught you. 349 00:16:59,008 --> 00:17:00,550 Hmm. 350 00:17:00,632 --> 00:17:02,841 So, we were going to drive with our Nissan Leaf, 351 00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:05,799 which has, uh, the tire pressure. 352 00:17:05,882 --> 00:17:10,466 Oh, yeah. 35 to 36 pounds per square inch. 353 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:14,632 So, uh, do you like Girls, the TV show? 354 00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:15,757 - No. - Oh. 355 00:17:15,841 --> 00:17:17,466 Uh, we love it. 356 00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:19,174 Our favorite episode is, uh... 357 00:17:19,258 --> 00:17:21,924 Oh. Well, you told me yours, but I kind of disagree, 358 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,091 'cause I like season two, episode three. 359 00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:25,882 Oh, yes. 360 00:17:25,966 --> 00:17:28,674 Yeah. That's where, uh, Hannah met her down... 361 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,716 finally met her downstairs neighbor. 362 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,341 - Laird. And, uh... - Yeah, Laird. 363 00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:37,008 And he had a friend that he introduced to, uh, Marnie. 364 00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:38,924 He takes her up to the studio. 365 00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,216 I guess they hit it off pretty good, because... 366 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,716 Yes. 367 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:45,008 To know if they are the members of the cell, 368 00:17:45,091 --> 00:17:48,300 we will say this phrase... It is a code word... 369 00:17:48,383 --> 00:17:50,674 "I'm not wearing any panties." 370 00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:52,258 "I'm not wearing any panties." 371 00:17:52,341 --> 00:17:54,174 - Understood? - Yes. 372 00:17:54,258 --> 00:17:55,716 - The code word. - Yeah. 373 00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:56,924 Okay. All right. 374 00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:59,258 You know, I'm not wearing any panties. 375 00:17:59,341 --> 00:18:00,632 Oh, this is San Francisco, man. Yeah. 376 00:18:00,716 --> 00:18:02,258 Half the people here aren't wearing them. 377 00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:03,757 - Sure. - That's right. All right. 378 00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:07,091 After we have convinced them that we are radical lesbians, 379 00:18:07,174 --> 00:18:12,133 we will put a tracking device on their back. 380 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,133 This is the tracking device. 381 00:18:15,216 --> 00:18:17,049 - Understood? - Yes. 382 00:18:19,716 --> 00:18:20,966 Excuse me, buddy. How'd you say... 383 00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:22,632 - How'd you say you walked up there? - Huh? 384 00:18:22,716 --> 00:18:24,133 How'd you say you walked up there? 385 00:18:24,216 --> 00:18:25,966 Just use your eyes. Right there in the front. 386 00:18:26,049 --> 00:18:27,674 Right there where people are speaking. 387 00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:28,716 - Thank you. - Come on, dear. 388 00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:30,049 You want me to tag her? 389 00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:35,924 I want to tell you something, all right? 390 00:18:36,008 --> 00:18:37,508 - Yes. - You did brilliantly, amazing. 391 00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:39,508 - Thank you. Thank you. - Now, listen. 392 00:18:39,591 --> 00:18:42,091 This is the app that allow us to track them. 393 00:18:42,174 --> 00:18:43,757 - Uh-huh. - What you don't know 394 00:18:43,841 --> 00:18:46,924 is in the transmitter that we put on their back, 395 00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:49,133 there is a small explosive device. 396 00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:50,383 Okay. 397 00:18:50,466 --> 00:18:52,757 - Small enough to... - To disable them? 398 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:55,674 ...to create a fatal heart attack. 399 00:18:55,757 --> 00:18:59,258 This is the location of the young man in the dark jacket. 400 00:18:59,341 --> 00:19:00,882 - Yeah. - Okay, you know the one? 401 00:19:00,966 --> 00:19:02,383 - Yes. - The real liberal? 402 00:19:02,466 --> 00:19:04,008 - Yes. - He got it coming to him. 403 00:19:04,091 --> 00:19:06,174 - Yes. - So just press the two fingers. 404 00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:10,133 It will detonate the explosive on his back. 405 00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,924 Press. 406 00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:21,841 Congratulation. You are hero. 407 00:19:21,924 --> 00:19:24,966 - You foiled the terror plot. - I hope. 408 00:19:25,049 --> 00:19:28,550 I've never, uh, participated in someone's death. 409 00:19:28,632 --> 00:19:30,216 - Really? - Well... 410 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,924 But you are so good at it. You are a natural. 411 00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:33,799 - I feel a little queasy. - Don't worry. 412 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,174 Can we move around a little bit? 413 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:38,216 Yeah, sure. Let's walk around. Let's go in the march. 414 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:42,341 And if we come across the corpse, just walk past him. 415 00:19:42,425 --> 00:19:44,757 You know, I've really had a fantastic time. You know... 416 00:19:44,841 --> 00:19:47,508 It's been a wonderful experience for me. 417 00:19:47,591 --> 00:19:49,466 It's really just been such a wonderful day, 418 00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:50,632 beautiful weather. 419 00:19:50,716 --> 00:19:53,008 - It is. - Look at the people here. 420 00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:54,882 They are the lowest of the low. 421 00:19:54,966 --> 00:19:57,383 I agree. I've never seen so much sickness. 422 00:19:57,466 --> 00:19:58,924 - Is your hand on my ass? - Yes. 423 00:19:59,008 --> 00:20:00,716 - Oh, good. For the cover. - Yeah. 424 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,674 What did you think of these people 425 00:20:02,757 --> 00:20:03,882 that we were surrounded by? 426 00:20:03,966 --> 00:20:06,425 - Crazies. Crazy. - They are crazy. 427 00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:08,799 The terrifying thing about these liberals 428 00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:10,799 is how easy it is 429 00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:13,383 to radicalize them and turn them into killers. 430 00:20:13,466 --> 00:20:15,091 - Yes. - Well, they're little lambs. 431 00:20:15,174 --> 00:20:17,133 I'd be the butcher before I'd be the sheep. 432 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,966 The interesting thing about today 433 00:20:19,049 --> 00:20:21,133 is it felt like it started off as an act, 434 00:20:21,216 --> 00:20:23,133 me and you as a lesbian couple. Yes. 435 00:20:23,216 --> 00:20:24,841 - By the end, it felt real... - It did. 436 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,466 ...like there was a connection. 437 00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,091 Right. A lot of people bought it. 438 00:20:28,174 --> 00:20:30,508 There was a woman who said, uh... 439 00:20:30,591 --> 00:20:32,757 We said we are lesbian, and she said, "Yeah, obviously." 440 00:20:32,841 --> 00:20:34,674 - Yes, uh-huh. Right. - Did you kill her or not? 441 00:20:34,757 --> 00:20:36,508 I can't remember. 442 00:20:36,591 --> 00:20:39,258 Uh, she was the, uh... 443 00:20:39,341 --> 00:20:41,757 Was she the long-haired, short, heavy one? 444 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:45,716 No, a... an older one. Did you blow her up or not? 445 00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:47,632 I can't remember now. 446 00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:51,091 We worked hard. Now let's celebrate. 447 00:20:51,174 --> 00:20:52,799 Laird? I'm not asking for anything. 448 00:20:52,882 --> 00:20:54,466 That guy looks like he has leprosy. 449 00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:57,091 - Good one. - Uh-huh. 450 00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:59,300 - Very good-quality writing. - Yes. 451 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,924 - Mind if I put the arm over? - No, go ahead. 452 00:21:01,008 --> 00:21:03,591 - Just in case somebody walk in. - Uh-huh. 453 00:21:03,674 --> 00:21:05,841 Do you happen to know where I can procure some cocaine today? 454 00:21:05,924 --> 00:21:09,924 So, um, have you had time to think about maybe, 455 00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:11,841 uh, moving to Israel and... 456 00:21:11,924 --> 00:21:13,632 It's a confusing thought for me right now. 457 00:21:13,716 --> 00:21:15,882 I have not thought it completely through. 458 00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:18,550 What, you have not thought moving to Israel... in with me? 459 00:21:18,632 --> 00:21:20,049 Yes. Yeah. 460 00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:22,133 It's a confusing thought, just leaving my family. 461 00:21:22,216 --> 00:21:26,799 Sure. I mean, I-I would probably leave my wife for you. 462 00:21:26,882 --> 00:21:28,841 Well, listen. You did, uh, great. 463 00:21:28,924 --> 00:21:30,550 I appreciate it. I appreciate it. 464 00:21:30,632 --> 00:21:32,383 Until the next time. 465 00:21:32,466 --> 00:21:33,924 You come back around, look me up. 466 00:21:34,008 --> 00:21:36,133 - Thank you. Kiss or no? - No. 467 00:22:04,383 --> 00:22:05,466 To good friends. 468 00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,008 To good friends. Hopefully, new friends. 469 00:22:07,091 --> 00:22:08,674 - Yeah, I hope so. - Yeah. 470 00:22:08,757 --> 00:22:09,924 I actually... You know what? 471 00:22:10,008 --> 00:22:11,508 Let me introduce my girlfriend, 472 00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:12,924 and then we talk a little business. 473 00:22:13,008 --> 00:22:15,049 - Okay. - Uh, Christina? 474 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,425 Sit down, sit down. 475 00:22:16,508 --> 00:22:17,716 Very good. 476 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,591 - Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Huh? 477 00:22:29,508 --> 00:22:31,550 Buffalo Billah. 478 00:22:32,882 --> 00:22:35,174 Buffalo Billah! Buffalo Billah! 479 00:22:35,258 --> 00:22:36,300 Buffalo Billah? 480 00:22:36,383 --> 00:22:39,924 Buffalo Billah. Football, Americano. 481 00:22:41,258 --> 00:22:42,966 I-I played a long time ago. 482 00:22:43,049 --> 00:22:46,258 O.J. Simpson! Naked Gun. Uno, due, tre! 483 00:22:46,341 --> 00:22:48,882 ..."Naked Gun." 484 00:22:48,966 --> 00:22:50,216 - But it doesn't matter. - Uhh. I am so embarrassed. 485 00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:52,300 It doesn't matter. But they're funny movies. 486 00:22:56,966 --> 00:23:01,216 Oh! Mamma mia! O.J.! 487 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,216 She knows that. Oh, Jesus. 488 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,383 - O.J.! Oh, my God! - Lord, help me. Help me. 489 00:23:07,216 --> 00:23:10,258 Oh! Mamma mia! Mwah! 490 00:23:13,966 --> 00:23:16,008 - So nice to meet you! - And a pleasure meeting you. 491 00:23:16,091 --> 00:23:17,632 - Okay. - Oh, my God. 492 00:23:17,716 --> 00:23:18,882 I'm so... I'm so sorry. 493 00:23:22,966 --> 00:23:25,133 She saying you're very handsome. 494 00:23:25,216 --> 00:23:26,341 - Well, thank you. - It's okay. You can... 495 00:23:26,425 --> 00:23:28,841 - She's gorgeous. - Yeah, okay. You can enjoy her. 496 00:23:28,924 --> 00:23:31,882 Just don't, uh, don't... 497 00:23:31,966 --> 00:23:33,716 No, no, no, no. No, no, no. 498 00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:35,466 "No, no, no, no, no, no." 499 00:23:38,008 --> 00:23:39,300 We're gonna talk business now. 500 00:23:44,174 --> 00:23:45,716 - Gorgeous. - She's gorgeous. 501 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,799 But sometimes I wanna kill her, you know? 502 00:23:47,882 --> 00:23:50,216 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 503 00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,550 I wanna send her on a private helicopter tour 504 00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:53,799 over the Grand Canyon. 505 00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:55,425 - Whoopsie-daisy! - Oopsie-daisy. 506 00:23:55,508 --> 00:23:56,841 Oopsie-daisy. 507 00:23:56,924 --> 00:23:59,716 Stop. Stop. 508 00:23:59,799 --> 00:24:01,383 No, no, no. 509 00:24:01,466 --> 00:24:03,716 Maybe I send her on a bungee jump, you know, where... 510 00:24:03,799 --> 00:24:05,882 Oh, the cord! 511 00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:08,258 Cord... Cord extra-long? 512 00:24:08,341 --> 00:24:10,133 - Cord extra-long. Oh! Bang! - "Oh, it was too long." 513 00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:13,508 Oh, hey, hey, hey, how was I to know 514 00:24:13,591 --> 00:24:15,300 that it was extra-elasticated? 515 00:24:18,508 --> 00:24:21,425 No, but I've been... I've been very unlucky in love. 516 00:24:21,508 --> 00:24:23,341 My ex-wife... 517 00:24:23,425 --> 00:24:25,632 You seem lucky in love to me. 518 00:24:25,716 --> 00:24:27,841 Yeah. Oh, yeah. But I don't love her. 519 00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:30,882 Sometimes she... Sometimes I want to completely kill her. 520 00:24:30,966 --> 00:24:33,091 Stop! Stop. 521 00:24:33,174 --> 00:24:35,425 If I do, you introduce me to Cochran. 522 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:36,841 Yeah. Johnnie. 523 00:24:36,924 --> 00:24:39,049 Well, I would have to introduce you in the afterlife. 524 00:24:39,133 --> 00:24:41,049 What, you didn't kill him, too, did you? 525 00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:43,841 Stop, man! Jesus Christ, man! 526 00:24:43,924 --> 00:24:45,216 Listen. 527 00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,591 My business partner is Sheikh Mansour... 528 00:24:47,674 --> 00:24:50,341 Yeah. He wants a one-on-one just with you and him. 529 00:24:50,425 --> 00:24:54,091 And he's obsessed about 530 00:24:54,174 --> 00:24:58,049 what happened the night with the wife. 531 00:24:58,133 --> 00:25:00,258 - Yeah. - And he wants you to tell him. 532 00:25:00,341 --> 00:25:02,591 - What wife? - The one you shot. 533 00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:04,882 - Well, first of all, she wasn't my wife. - Oh. 534 00:25:04,966 --> 00:25:06,550 We had been divorced and separated for two years. 535 00:25:06,632 --> 00:25:08,133 Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. 536 00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:09,508 - Except that I didn't do it. - I didn't know. 537 00:25:09,632 --> 00:25:10,966 Well, if he's obsessed, hey, look. 538 00:25:11,049 --> 00:25:13,716 We want you to be 100% truthful how you got away with it. 539 00:25:13,799 --> 00:25:15,632 - That's what he wants to know. - Hey! Hey, hey. 540 00:25:15,716 --> 00:25:18,174 - I didn't get away with nothing. - Yeah, yeah, I didn't get away 541 00:25:18,258 --> 00:25:19,550 with anything with my wife, either. 542 00:25:19,632 --> 00:25:21,966 She committed suicide. 543 00:25:22,049 --> 00:25:24,091 - Look. Stop. - She got depressed, 544 00:25:24,174 --> 00:25:26,674 and she put herself into a bagful of rocks 545 00:25:26,757 --> 00:25:29,300 and then managed to drag herself into the sea. 546 00:25:31,008 --> 00:25:34,091 And you weren't charged, so good for you. 547 00:25:34,174 --> 00:25:36,300 Me and you, we got something in common. 548 00:25:36,383 --> 00:25:38,966 We both, uh, how you say... Lady killers. 549 00:25:39,049 --> 00:25:40,799 You know, it's not what it sounds like. 550 00:25:40,882 --> 00:25:43,174 In Italian, it translates to, uh, 551 00:25:43,258 --> 00:25:46,216 somebody who, uh, murders women. 552 00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:47,550 No, I didn't kill nobody. 553 00:25:47,632 --> 00:25:49,674 Oh, I didn't, either! I didn't, either! 554 00:25:52,841 --> 00:25:55,049 What I hate about the press is you make one tiny, little slip, 555 00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:57,383 and that's all they remember you for. 556 00:25:57,466 --> 00:25:59,341 - Yeah. - You're not the O.J. the touchdown. 557 00:25:59,425 --> 00:26:01,508 You're not the O.J. the movie star. Yeah. 558 00:26:01,591 --> 00:26:03,216 You kill, uh, two silly people, 559 00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,300 and suddenly, you are O.J. the murderer. 560 00:26:05,383 --> 00:26:06,591 Stop. Stop. 561 00:26:06,674 --> 00:26:08,550 You wanna have... You wanna have some cheese? 562 00:26:08,632 --> 00:26:11,383 - No, I'm fine. - Should I hide the knives? 563 00:26:11,466 --> 00:26:13,466 Hide the knives! O.J. is in town! 564 00:26:13,550 --> 00:26:14,841 No, no. 565 00:27:21,882 --> 00:27:23,841 "Uhh, I don't know what I said. Uhh!"