- Previously on "Wrecked"... - Danny Wallace?
His family's worth billions!
I'm Declan Stanwick. This is my private island.
This place is bad news!
The dude has human heads on the wall!
So, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna kill us?
No, I'm going to break you
and watch you hunt each other to the death.
I think we're in trouble.
Martha!
Something's wrong with Steve!
Come quick!
We just found him like this.
- He's ice-cold. - Oh, who's that?
Hello? I'm ice-cold.
You're cold? But it's warm here.
He must be sick.
He must be so sick!
I guess you probably better come on in here
and take a look at him, right?
Who's behind the wall?
No one.
It's the dumb one, isn't it?
Flabby McConaughey?
Probably what... holding a rock?
No.
Yeah, I'm not coming in there.
- God damn it! - Son of a...
Flabby?!
Does this guy look flabby to you, Barfa?!
How about his identical twin brother, Pecsas Bill?!
Well, that's just great.
I'm acting my ass off, and I'm surrounded by amateurs.
This is the Wellington Dinner Theater all over again!
Just face it... We're gonna have to kill each other
in a shitty "Hunger Games," and we're not even gonna get
cool outfits from Lenny Kravitz!
Listen.
There's still eight of us and two of them.
As long as we got the numbers, we got a fighting ch...
Scratch that. It's a chopper.
There's probably more of them. We're dead.
Who would do this?
Who would make people hunt each other?
The rich. That's who.
Make no mistake,
rich people are monsters.
Who wants gorilla with their eggs?
Brewster, ape steak?
Uh, does a fat dog fart when you squeeze it?
'Course I'm havin' ape steak, man.
Come on!
Errol, how about you?
No, I'm still vegan,
just like last year and the year before that.
Well, I'm sure Martha can find
something green for you to stuff in your pussy.
It's the exact same joke he said last year.
- Still lands. - No, it doesn't.
- Still lands it.
Gentlemen, I would like to thank you for clearing space
in your busy schedules to come along
to this impromptu hunt.
What's happening, Declan?
I know you couldn't have rounded up
enough contestants already.
No, Peabody, I have not.
A few weeks ago,
a pirate contacted me about some cargo
she had come across...
the survivors of an airline crash.
I was ready to bring them here.
I told her I wanted their organs.
I left out the little bit about the hunting, of course.
But then she went dark.
I had almost given up on the endeavor until two days ago
when eight of them just washed up on my shore.
No way.
- Are you serious? - What are the odds?
I think this is going to be our best hunt yet.
- Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! All right!
Man, I am so pumped to watch people hunt each other.
Being rich is awesome. This is awesome!
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
Look alive, meat!
Mr. Stanwick wants to show you off to his guests.
But first, we have to clean the stink off you.
Okay, listen, we get it.
We're your captives.
But can we just treat each other with a little bit of resp...
Aah! So cold! Aah!
Gentlemen, may I present to you this year's contestants.
Well, I'll be.
If this ain't the most rag-tag-lookin' group
of sorry sons of bitches I ever did...
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to stop you there.
You see, you've already made one grave mistake.
Oh, yeah? And what's that?
You've left me untied.
Aah!
Whoo!
Surprise!
Errol's bracelets can deliver up to 1,000 volts
of electricity coursing through your body
with just the touch of a single button.
It can also count your steps.
Right.
I'm just... I'm changing my strategy a bit.
I'm gonna join the... the line.
We have a little tradition here at Isle de Declan.
Before we send you out to hunt each other to the death,
we like to name our prey.
You.
Step forward.
Holy shit.
We're starting with the hard one.
I mean, he's just... He's so bland.
- Yeah. - You know?
I mean, like, if I close my eyes,
I can't even remember what he looked like.
I'm getting "Vanilla."
Ah.
Done. Martha?
Next!
Easy.
- The Hot One. - Yep.
Screw you.
- Also, thank you. - Next!
What's a sort of douche-baggy,
desert-trashy sort of name?
- Uh, Todd? - What?
- Next! - Oh, I got it.
"Outback," like the steakhouse.
Well, that's actually Australian.
I'm from New Zealand, so...
- Uh, "Awesome Blossom"? - Yes!
That's Chili's. That's not even Outback. That's...
Next!
Uh, "The Hot One"?
So, Jess and I are both "The Hot One"?
Oh, yeah. That is confusing. Uh, "Cute One"?
I don't think it's that confusing.
- Next! - Hi.
Look at that little fella. He's pint-sized!
Pint-sized? More like half pint, am I right, guys?
Yes! You're right!
Hey, you want some steak?
Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Fetch.
- Don't mind if I do! - Next!
Whoa! Look at this big old bitch.
I think we have our "Six Feet."
Well, that's inaccurate. I'm 5'9", not 6'.
"Six feet" as in six feet under.
You'll be the first to die in the hunt.
Based on what criteria?
Uh, you're old as shit.
And you're a woman.
Look at him eating it off the floor like a dog.
Hey, can you bark like a dog, Half Pint?
That's adorable!
Next!
I'm thinking, uh, "Dough Boy"?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- I mean... - Daniel?
Daniel Wallace?
Uh, yeah.
Holy shit!
I was sitting there like, "I know this guy."
It was the beard or something.
Wow! I'm Greg Peabody.
I used to work with your father.
We both got sued for harassment
by that same fat, dumb lady.
- Oh, my God. - Yeah!
Declan, we don't hunt our own.
Get this bracelet off of him.
He's one of us.
- Peabody. - Yeah?
May I speak with you for a moment?
This is nuts. I can't... This is crazy.
Danny, you have to go with them.
No, I'm not one of them. I'm not my dad.
No, you can go get help.
You can be undercover.
You mean like... Donnie Brasco?
No.
I mean like... Danny Brasco.
It's Donnie Brasco.
- Movie's called "Donnie Brasco." - No. I know. I know.
I-I know the movie. I know the movie.
I'm saying that your name is Danny.
- Oh. Oh! - Okay.
Peabody!
Get this bracelet off of me.
I'm sick of standing near all this filth.
Oh.
Peabody has assured me that you're one of us.
Martha, take the rest away.
You're an embarrassment.
Excuse me?
That dog and pony show you put on back there?
- Do you have any dignity? - No, I don't.
What I do have is a belly full of steak.
That you ate off the ground.
- Oh, yeah, you're right. - Yeah.
The ground did make it taste less like steak.
Sike! It was delicious and expertly marinated!
As long as I can live another day,
I'll do whatever it takes.
- You're such a little sh... - Hey!
Into the pen, now!
Absolutely, Martha.
I can't wait to get in there.
By the way, this shade of red on you is tremendous.
Did you hear me, Six Feet?
Call me that again.
Six...
Ha!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No. Karen, what did you do?
What does it look like?
I'm getting us the hell out of here.
Oh, no, she's gonna shock us so bad
when she wakes up.
Not without this.
Oh, nice!
Freedom!
Hyah! Hyah!
That was also how she opened the pen.
- Come on, man! - You piece of shit!
What the hell is wrong with you, man?!
I'm sorry I don't know how to operate a human cage!
How are we supposed to get out of here now?
This looks networked.
If we could somehow find the control hub,
maybe we can open it manually.
Pack, that creepy-ass hidden room.
There was a computer and shit in there.
Show me where it is.
Oh, yeah, yeah. No problem.
So, basically, we're here, right, Karen?
And you're gonna walk up past Martha, go down...
Pack, go with her, obviously!
Okay, I'll go!
She'll be trouble when she comes to.
Drag that old bag of bones over here.
We'll deal with her.
What?
I'm so not cut out for this "Die Hard" business.
You're not cut out for a cupcake business.
How have you lived this long?
Because I know how to play the game, Karen.
This is no different than an agency.
Okay, keep your head low,
pretend everything is legal,
and at the last moment,
you stab your boss in the back and ta...
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! - What is it? What?
- Shut up. - Okay, okay, okay.
- Shh. - Got it.
What are you doing?
Oh, I see what you're doing.
You're gonna throw a rock and distract him.
He's gonna be like, "What's that?"
And then we're gonna sneak right behind him
like two little mice.
Holy shit! What if you missed?
I never miss.
That can't be true.
Also, how often are you throwing rocks?
I think he's dead.
Danny boy, what year can I pour ya?
Uh, whichever gets me the drunkest?
I have a question for you, Daniel.
If you're so wealthy, why were you flying commercial?
Surely you could've flown private.
Unless, of course, you don't care about appearances.
Um, uh, I...
Actually, I was thinking of acquiring Lotus Airlines.
Call me old-fashioned,
but I like to taste the milk before I buy the cow.
They can kiss that deal goodbye.
No, I'm still going to acquire them.
So I can bankrupt them.
You try to kill me, I destroy you.
Well, how would you do it?
I would personally fire each and every one of them.
- Face-to-face? - Face-to-face.
The VPs, the pilots, the lowly baggage handlers.
Oh, that guy was just doing his job.
I don't care. I'm gonna put them all on the streets!
Hell yeah, you will! God damn!
You've forgotten one little detail.
You'll pay a pretty penny for those severance packages.
Ah.
I don't care.
I won't pay.
But they'll take you to court.
The legal fees alone...
I don't care.
I will do whatever it takes
to show them that I am a man!
A rich and powerful man that won't be stepped on!
Yeah!
I'm sick of being stepped on!
All these harassment lawsuits?! They're bullshit!
It's a slap on the dick is what it is!
Yeah, right in the dick!
Yeah! We are men with money!
- Yeah! - Whoo!
We do what we want!
Hold steady. Here she comes.
What the...
Let me go!
Hold the line, boys!
It's just me, dude!
Hold the line!
Aah!
Oh, no! That's not good!
Help! She's got me!
- Oh! - Okay!
What is this place?!
All right, I'll stand guard
while you hack into the computer.
What? I don't know anything about computers.
Would you rather fight off anyone who comes to kill us?
Computers. I've always loved them.
Let me just get in here and start some hacking.
Adjust the seat.
Okay.
- _ - Oh, okay.
This is very user-friendly.
It's like an iPad.
You can see the whole place from here.
And it's powered by the river.
You know, not enough rich people
take the time to invest in green energy.
- Pack, open the pen! - Oh, yeah.
Hey, we're gonna get out of here.
I promise, okay?
Karen and Pack are up there
and they are definitely gonna...
Holy shit. It's a miracle.
I never thought they'd pull it off.
This is the time to go!
- Pull! - And she's all like,
"I'm LGBT," whatever.
And I said, "Lady, the only letters I care about
are B-L-T, so you make me a damn sandwich."
They've escaped.
Half Pint and Six Feet... they got loose.
Well, shock them.
I lost the controller.
This is very disappointing.
The pen is empty.
That means they got into the control room.
I will catch them!
It appears that this year's hunt has begun early.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's go catch those animals.
You read my mind.
Let's go.
Everybody, get your guns!
Yeah, let's shoot some people!
How are we gonna find the others?
If they were smart, they headed for that helicopter.
Holy shit. We're really doing this.
So back this way, right?
No, we fight.
I'll go for her eyes, you aim for the...
Good luck!
- God damn... - Aah!
I had my doubts about you, Daniel.
After all that time you'd spend with the poors,
I thought you might have developed feelings for them.
But now I see that I was wrong.
You are one of us.
What can I say?
You never forget who you truly are.
Indeed.
We got to keep moving. Let's go.
- We got to keep going. - That way!
You bitch!
Ah!
Looks like you will be the first to die, Six Feet.
She's 5'9"! Aah!
Shame, Half Pint.
Here I was thinking you were a good little doggie.
A-ha!
This whirlybird's our ticket home.
- Come on! - Wait, wait.
You can fly a helicopter?
No, but I think we all know who can.
No, I can't.
But you're a flight attendant. You work with pilots.
That doesn't mean that I learned to fly.
Great. So you don't pay attention
doing your cockpit duties,
and we all pay the price!
Nice one, dickhead!
I'm afraid the fun's all over.
No, I think the fun's just begun.
Yeah!
Daniel, what do you think you're doing?
Are you thick, Declan?
I was undercover.
Whoa! Not so fast, you rich piece of shit.
Unless you want a bullet in your top 1%.
That is a great line.
- Thanks. I thought of it earlier. - Still.
Daniel, I think you'll find it awfully hard to shoot me...
No, I won't. 'Cause you suck.
You interrupted me. Daniel, I think you'll find it
awfully hard to shoot me because you don't have...
The guts? Oh, I got the guts...
Bullets!
You don't have bullets in your g...
Jesus Christ, would you let me finish a sentence?!
Oh, no.
I never believed you were one of us.
I say we bag these bucks right now.
But Declan wants them alive for the hunt.
Oh, it's always Declan, Declan, Declan.
You got to grow you some hairier balls, man!
- Oh. - Come on!
Oh, God. This is it.
- You're mad and I... - I ain't mad.
We're gonna kill them anyway.
Please!
Please don't kill me!
I'm just a scared old lady!
Don't make me the first to die, please!
Oh, forget it. I don't want to get tears on my boots.
Yikes.
Besides, I can't kill Half Pint yet.
That bark is too funny.
Come on, give it to me, little guy.
Hey, you too, Six Feet. Bark for mercy.
Woof!
Woof, woof!
That's an old dog. That is an old dog.
All right. Let's get these doggies back to their kennel.
- Yeah. - Whoo.
Welcome back.
Now, just to dissuade you
from doing anything like that again...
Martha?
Jess?
Hey, what the hell?!
Stop it!
Jess!
Hmm. Must be a short circuit.
Jess!
What did you do? Jess?
Jess? Baby?
Hey, Jess?
Jess?
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --