1
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,791
_

3
00:00:16,825 --> 00:00:18,259
Are you on pot?

4
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Oh, no, sir.

5
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,162
I am not gonna embarrass this paper

6
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,332
by running some cockamamie story

7
00:00:23,365 --> 00:00:25,567
about little green men
flying over the White House!

8
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,736
But, with all due respect,
sir, it really happened,

9
00:00:27,768 --> 00:00:29,303
and it wasn't little green men!

10
00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:32,006
It was a swarm of
unidentified flying objects,

11
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,775
hovering over the Capitol Building

12
00:00:33,808 --> 00:00:34,810
and the White House.

13
00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:36,110
Look at these photographs, sir.

14
00:00:36,143 --> 00:00:38,946
These were taken by our
very own photographers.

15
00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:41,283
What do you think of that?

16
00:00:41,315 --> 00:00:43,017
I think our very own photographers

17
00:00:43,051 --> 00:00:44,286
are on reefer, as well.

18
00:00:44,318 --> 00:00:45,653
We are not running this story.

19
00:00:45,686 --> 00:00:46,830
- Do you hear me?
- But sir...

20
00:00:46,854 --> 00:00:48,332
Do you want this paper
to be a laughing stock?

21
00:00:48,356 --> 00:00:49,424
I do not, sir.

22
00:00:49,457 --> 00:00:51,058
Do you want my children to go hungry?

23
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:52,094
Oh, no, sir.

24
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,095
Do you like baseball?

25
00:00:53,128 --> 00:00:55,163
Well, it's America's
favorite pastime, sir.

26
00:00:55,196 --> 00:00:57,131
- Not a big fan, myself.
- All right.

27
00:00:57,165 --> 00:00:58,967
Yet I have this baseball. You know why?

28
00:00:58,999 --> 00:01:01,636
- No, sir.
- To hit people in the head that annoy me.

29
00:01:01,669 --> 00:01:02,871
And you're annoying me.

30
00:01:02,904 --> 00:01:05,874
You have exactly three seconds
to get out of this office.

31
00:01:05,907 --> 00:01:06,907
One...

32
00:01:06,908 --> 00:01:08,376
two...

33
00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:09,711
three!

34
00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:13,822
_

35
00:01:14,481 --> 00:01:20,154
Ooh, doggy! Howdy, partners.
It's me, Swell Del Wainwright,

36
00:01:20,187 --> 00:01:23,560
here to lasso you up
some gorgeous deals.

37
00:01:24,526 --> 00:01:26,794
Oh, that's some good 'uns.

38
00:01:26,827 --> 00:01:30,398
At Swell Del's, I grab
the bargains by the horns.

39
00:01:32,232 --> 00:01:34,068
Mama, say "moo."

40
00:01:37,237 --> 00:01:38,806
So stick your head out of the herd

41
00:01:38,839 --> 00:01:41,475
and steer yourself on in.

42
00:01:41,794 --> 00:01:44,544
- Ow.
- Come get your favorite brand.

43
00:01:45,012 --> 00:01:47,481
We'll rustle you up a good deal.

44
00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:49,183
And that's no bull.

45
00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:55,924
In the past 20 years,
I've sold well over

46
00:01:55,957 --> 00:02:01,063
2.5 million cars, with
our udderly-great prices.

47
00:02:01,095 --> 00:02:05,366
More than any other car dealer
in the great old U.S. of A.

48
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:10,372
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

49
00:02:10,404 --> 00:02:13,874
So, buy your next car
from Swell Del Wainwright.

50
00:02:13,908 --> 00:02:17,345
It's my ampa, and it's
like I put 'em in the car

51
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:18,413
and we're in business.

52
00:02:18,445 --> 00:02:20,047
Like my grandson says,

53
00:02:20,081 --> 00:02:23,218
"It's like having a cousin
in the car-selling business."

54
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,920
That's a smart boy.

55
00:02:24,952 --> 00:02:26,387
Come see Swell Del.

56
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:30,014
Three new locations... I-27
and Route 6200, Lubbock...

57
00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,318
- Whoa!
- Mellow out!

58
00:02:34,351 --> 00:02:36,330
Criminy! Did you see, that
catfish hunter was gonna hit me

59
00:02:36,354 --> 00:02:38,822
in the head with a
baseball. He's very mean.

60
00:02:38,856 --> 00:02:40,568
You want me to go in there
and punch him in the face?

61
00:02:40,592 --> 00:02:42,027
Aw, you wouldn't do that.

62
00:02:42,059 --> 00:02:43,337
You're right, but I was just asking

63
00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:44,729
if you wanted me to.

64
00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:47,998
Bailey, you can't go in
there pitching crazy stories.

65
00:02:48,032 --> 00:02:49,642
But if I gave him proof
and tell the truth,

66
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,468
I can change people's minds.

67
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:53,705
You can't change what
people want to believe.

68
00:02:53,737 --> 00:02:55,039
Well, I think you can.

69
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,340
Oh.

70
00:02:56,373 --> 00:02:58,542
How'd McGovern work out for you?

71
00:02:58,576 --> 00:03:01,580
How'd Nixon work out for you?

72
00:03:01,612 --> 00:03:04,315
I only voted for him
because I like Spiro Agnew.

73
00:03:04,349 --> 00:03:06,584
Yeah, that's what they all say.

74
00:03:16,628 --> 00:03:18,997
You thinkin' about buying a car?

75
00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:20,731
Uh, yes.

76
00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:22,967
Something like that.

77
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,775
Thank you, sweetheart.

78
00:03:31,208 --> 00:03:33,053
Mr. Bidwell.

79
00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:35,880
New hat?

80
00:03:35,913 --> 00:03:38,215
Why, guilty. How did you know?

81
00:03:38,248 --> 00:03:39,917
It's on backwards.

82
00:03:39,951 --> 00:03:42,928
- Ah.
- Classic Yankee move.

83
00:03:43,588 --> 00:03:44,889
Well...

84
00:03:46,563 --> 00:03:48,599
My friends call me Bull.

85
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:52,513
My friends call me Del.

86
00:03:53,064 --> 00:03:56,935
Are you my friend... Bull?

87
00:03:57,943 --> 00:03:59,137
Uh, I hope so.

88
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:04,075
You're a very rich man, Del, with...

89
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:05,985
modest tastes.

90
00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:08,614
People like you. People look up to you.

91
00:04:13,277 --> 00:04:15,147
You trying to grease me up, son?

92
00:04:15,178 --> 00:04:17,122
No, Del, I'm not greasing you up.

93
00:04:17,155 --> 00:04:19,324
I want to make you an offer.

94
00:04:19,904 --> 00:04:21,762
Grease me up, make me an offer.

95
00:04:21,787 --> 00:04:23,520
You can pour maple syrup on it,

96
00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:25,168
but it still doesn't make it a pancake.

97
00:04:25,193 --> 00:04:26,764
I know who you are, Bull.

98
00:04:27,322 --> 00:04:30,692
Fancy Washington, D.C.,
snake-oil salesman.

99
00:04:30,717 --> 00:04:32,337
We're in the same business.

100
00:04:32,369 --> 00:04:34,139
I sell people cars that don't work,

101
00:04:34,172 --> 00:04:36,641
and you sell people
politicians that don't work.

102
00:04:36,674 --> 00:04:38,610
Campaign manager.

103
00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:41,746
I own half the people
you work for down here.

104
00:04:41,778 --> 00:04:45,969
So, what in God's green
acres are you gonna offer me?

105
00:04:46,726 --> 00:04:48,787
I want to make you

106
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:52,290
the next President of the United States.

107
00:04:53,725 --> 00:04:55,326
Okay.

108
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,828
Why don't you pull my other leg,

109
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,629
and it'll play "Jingle Bells"?

110
00:04:59,086 --> 00:05:03,134
Um, Del, not only do I want to, I can.

111
00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:09,940
President Wainwright.

112
00:05:09,973 --> 00:05:12,365
I like the sound of it. Hot damn!

113
00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:14,112
Yeah, it's got a ring to it, doesn't it?

114
00:05:14,144 --> 00:05:15,846
A ring-a-ding-ding.

115
00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:18,424
I'd be lying if I said
I didn't think about

116
00:05:18,449 --> 00:05:20,266
being president most of my life.

117
00:05:20,924 --> 00:05:23,077
Well, it'd make my pappy proud.

118
00:05:23,102 --> 00:05:24,469
God bless his soul.

119
00:05:24,494 --> 00:05:26,104
All right, so we have a deal.

120
00:05:26,268 --> 00:05:27,805
Hold your horses.

121
00:05:27,830 --> 00:05:30,682
Before I sign up with
a crazy idea like this,

122
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,008
what makes you think you
can get me, of all people,

123
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,501
elected President of the
United States of America?

124
00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,670
Well, people see you as an outsider,

125
00:05:38,703 --> 00:05:40,271
as a rich, good old boy,

126
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,289
who shoots from the
hip and can't be bought.

127
00:05:42,314 --> 00:05:43,724
It's a pretty simple formula, really.

128
00:05:43,749 --> 00:05:46,677
We just find some enemies and
keep pounding away on them.

129
00:05:46,711 --> 00:05:48,011
Who are my enemies?

130
00:05:48,045 --> 00:05:50,715
Hippies, Russians, hell, it
can even be the Girl Scouts.

131
00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:51,915
I don't give a rat's ass,

132
00:05:51,949 --> 00:05:53,651
as long as you give
them somebody to hate.

133
00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:57,222
See, Del, it's kind of
like your restaurant here,

134
00:05:57,254 --> 00:05:59,557
Del's Burgers and Fries.

135
00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:00,859
Burgers and Fries are a hero

136
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:04,028
to people that tried
Chinese food and hated it.

137
00:06:04,061 --> 00:06:06,974
And you, you are Burgers and Fries.

138
00:06:07,194 --> 00:06:08,539
You just remind people
that they're afraid

139
00:06:08,564 --> 00:06:10,475
and that you're the only
person that could save them.

140
00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:11,933
Tell them you'll bring
back the good old days,

141
00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:13,896
whatever the Sam Hill that means.

142
00:06:15,435 --> 00:06:17,616
All right, if I say yes,
what do I have to do?

143
00:06:17,641 --> 00:06:18,787
Two things.

144
00:06:19,357 --> 00:06:21,365
I need your commitment, 100%.

145
00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:22,060
Done.

146
00:06:22,085 --> 00:06:24,282
And I need full disclosure.

147
00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,074
I need to know if there's
anything in your past

148
00:06:26,099 --> 00:06:28,263
that can bite us in
the ass on the campaign.

149
00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:33,074
I cheated on my first wife.

150
00:06:33,106 --> 00:06:35,333
That's what first wives are for.

151
00:06:36,509 --> 00:06:37,644
With her sister.

152
00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:39,180
Oh. Well played.

153
00:06:39,213 --> 00:06:41,015
I forced her to have an abortion.

154
00:06:41,048 --> 00:06:43,317
Well, Del, that... Hmm.

155
00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:45,853
That could cause us some
problems with evangelicals,

156
00:06:45,886 --> 00:06:48,389
but if it comes out,
we'll just keep stressing

157
00:06:48,422 --> 00:06:49,824
how ridiculous the whole thing is,

158
00:06:49,856 --> 00:06:51,201
what with you being pro-life and all.

159
00:06:51,225 --> 00:06:53,394
I mean, you are
pro-life, aren't you, Del?

160
00:06:53,427 --> 00:06:54,862
I can be.

161
00:06:54,894 --> 00:06:58,531
Perfect. So, is there anything else?

162
00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:00,735
Oh, yeah. I'm a werewolf.

163
00:07:03,403 --> 00:07:05,105
A what, Del?

164
00:07:05,269 --> 00:07:06,836
I'm a werewolf,

165
00:07:06,870 --> 00:07:08,872
like my daddy was and
his daddy before him.

166
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,708
Hell, it's not that bad.

167
00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:13,310
I mean, I only become a
werewolf when I get too angry,

168
00:07:13,343 --> 00:07:15,413
and normally, I can control it.

169
00:07:15,445 --> 00:07:18,048
Ah.

170
00:07:18,082 --> 00:07:20,918
Anything else?

171
00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:22,252
I ate a toddler once.

172
00:07:22,286 --> 00:07:23,320
Aw, geez.

173
00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:24,655
When I was a werewolf.

174
00:07:24,687 --> 00:07:25,957
Ah.

175
00:07:27,623 --> 00:07:30,727
You know, no one's perfect.

176
00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,859
The American way of
life is under attack.

177
00:07:44,892 --> 00:07:47,961
These other countries, they're
walking all over us, right?

178
00:07:47,995 --> 00:07:51,365
They hate us. They hate
the American way of freedom.

179
00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:52,800
We need a bold outsider

180
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:55,670
who's not afraid to tell it like it is.

181
00:07:55,702 --> 00:07:57,705
And if they insist

182
00:07:57,738 --> 00:08:00,541
on holding us ransom at the gas pumps,

183
00:08:00,574 --> 00:08:02,009
and you know they're doing it...

184
00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:04,346
Some people, I don't know,
a lot of people are saying

185
00:08:04,379 --> 00:08:06,611
we should bomb them back to Tehran.

186
00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,483
Would you like that? Would you? Okay.

187
00:08:08,516 --> 00:08:10,051
All right, maybe we'll do that.

188
00:08:10,084 --> 00:08:13,021
A straight shooter who's
not ashamed of the U.S.A.

189
00:08:13,053 --> 00:08:14,655
- Should we bomb them?
- U.S.A.!

190
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:15,890
We should bomb them.

191
00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:18,026
Bring back the good old days.

192
00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:22,663
Vote Swell Del Wainwright,
the choice of real America.

193
00:08:22,697 --> 00:08:24,799
His campaign has been like no other.

194
00:08:24,831 --> 00:08:27,201
Full of scandals, shocking behavior

195
00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:29,403
that would've sunk any
other candidate in history.

196
00:08:29,436 --> 00:08:31,205
Excuse me. Look at this pretty girl.

197
00:08:31,238 --> 00:08:32,673
- Isn't she pretty?
- Excuse me?

198
00:08:32,706 --> 00:08:34,007
- Yes?
- Don't you feel a woman

199
00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:36,010
should have the right
to choose what goes on

200
00:08:36,042 --> 00:08:38,545
- with her own body?
- I believe that every woman

201
00:08:38,579 --> 00:08:40,180
has the right to choose...

202
00:08:40,214 --> 00:08:41,724
to keep her knees together.

203
00:08:41,748 --> 00:08:44,351
Why don't you try that for
a week, honey? All right.

204
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:47,021
No, he doesn't offend me.

205
00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:50,225
All men talk that way.
He's just being honest.

206
00:08:50,257 --> 00:08:52,893
Wainwright's popularity could take him

207
00:08:52,926 --> 00:08:54,595
all the way to the White House.

208
00:08:54,628 --> 00:08:58,365
Ugh. Turn it off. This is so depressing.

209
00:08:58,398 --> 00:09:01,235
Jiminy Christmas! It
doesn't matter what we write.

210
00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:02,278
We've written about everything...

211
00:09:02,302 --> 00:09:03,904
his affair with his sister-in-law,

212
00:09:03,938 --> 00:09:05,874
his hiring an illegal maid.

213
00:09:05,906 --> 00:09:07,550
He kicked a dog, and his
supporters believed him

214
00:09:07,574 --> 00:09:09,219
when he said he was
helping it out of traffic.

215
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:11,278
I mean, the man is made of Teflon.

216
00:09:11,311 --> 00:09:13,013
Well, I've told you before,

217
00:09:13,046 --> 00:09:14,615
you can prove things to people,

218
00:09:14,648 --> 00:09:17,217
but in the end, they're
gonna believe what they want.

219
00:09:17,251 --> 00:09:18,453
Well, I'm not giving up.

220
00:09:18,486 --> 00:09:20,355
All right, little engine that could.

221
00:09:20,387 --> 00:09:22,623
Choo-choo.

222
00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:26,819
_

223
00:09:34,969 --> 00:09:37,872
- Regina Bailey?
- Yes?

224
00:09:37,905 --> 00:09:40,909
I read your articles on Del.

225
00:09:40,941 --> 00:09:45,579
I have proof that Del
Wainwright is a werewolf.

226
00:09:45,613 --> 00:09:47,748
I saw him change into a werewolf,

227
00:09:47,781 --> 00:09:50,417
right in front of my very eyes.

228
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:55,556
Okay, and, uh, why
are you such an expert?

229
00:09:55,589 --> 00:09:57,158
Because...

230
00:09:59,794 --> 00:10:02,464
I am Anka the vampire.

231
00:10:04,723 --> 00:10:07,143
Vampires and werewolves
have been mortal enemies

232
00:10:07,168 --> 00:10:08,768
since the dawn of time.

233
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:09,851
You don't say.

234
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:10,992
Don't humor me.

235
00:10:12,207 --> 00:10:13,630
Here's proof.

236
00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:16,643
Gosh, looks like a dog

237
00:10:16,668 --> 00:10:18,646
standing on its hind legs.

238
00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,113
It's not.

239
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:24,918
No. Keep it.

240
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:28,656
You must run the story.

241
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,860
I sure will see what I can do.

242
00:10:32,348 --> 00:10:35,793
Hey, aren't you supposed to
not be out during the day?

243
00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:38,962
That's why I wear these.

244
00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:42,566
Oh, sure. Sure.

245
00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:45,316
I do believe in equal rights.

246
00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,549
But I believe in equal rights for all,

247
00:10:47,574 --> 00:10:49,142
not just the minorities.

248
00:10:49,746 --> 00:10:52,668
Now, you folks at home, the
press thinks you're dumb.

249
00:10:52,808 --> 00:10:55,315
They'll whiz down your back
and tell you it's raining.

250
00:10:55,713 --> 00:10:57,049
Don't tell me that.

251
00:10:57,364 --> 00:10:59,643
They don't care about
you. Not like I do.

252
00:10:59,668 --> 00:11:02,260
'Cause the press, in this country,

253
00:11:02,285 --> 00:11:05,098
are a bunch of traitors
out to destroy America.

254
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,799
Treason. Treason. Traitor.

255
00:11:07,824 --> 00:11:10,190
A lot of smart people
are saying it. Traitor.

256
00:11:10,215 --> 00:11:11,682
Mr. Wainwright, isn't your lack

257
00:11:11,707 --> 00:11:14,394
of political experience a
detriment to holding office?

258
00:11:14,419 --> 00:11:17,152
That's a stupid question! I'm not...

259
00:11:18,832 --> 00:11:21,209
... gonna dignify that with an ans...

260
00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:24,682
What was that? That
sounded like he barked.

261
00:11:24,707 --> 00:11:26,013
Maybe he has Tourette's.

262
00:11:29,051 --> 00:11:30,057
I'm not...

263
00:11:31,588 --> 00:11:32,611
... gonna...

264
00:11:33,721 --> 00:11:35,774
- What's this?
- A vampire gave that to me.

265
00:11:35,799 --> 00:11:38,002
Said she had proof
that Del was a werewolf.

266
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,768
Sounds about right.

267
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,740
This is a dog walking on his hind legs.

268
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,516
- Or Bigfoot.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous.

269
00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:47,200
That thing is way too
short to be Bigf...

270
00:11:47,728 --> 00:11:49,665
I mean, if Bigfoot were real.

271
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:50,808
Of course.

272
00:11:53,151 --> 00:11:54,611
Where are you goin'?

273
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:57,280
To see a vampire about a werewolf.

274
00:11:57,313 --> 00:11:58,993
Well, I'm comin' with you.

275
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:00,493
If you get killed by that nut,

276
00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:02,053
I want to take the pictures.

277
00:12:04,229 --> 00:12:05,551
How do you know this person?

278
00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:07,157
Oh, we met in a toilet.

279
00:12:07,963 --> 00:12:09,793
You got a weird personal life.

280
00:12:22,351 --> 00:12:23,687
Hello?

281
00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:27,493
Anka?

282
00:12:27,526 --> 00:12:29,502
Anka the vampire?

283
00:12:30,130 --> 00:12:31,369
You first.

284
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:35,788
Anka?

285
00:12:35,813 --> 00:12:36,982
Anka the vam...

286
00:12:43,832 --> 00:12:46,059
I thought they sleep during the day.

287
00:12:52,953 --> 00:12:55,256
Move! I got children, shrimp!

288
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:02,499
This better be good.

289
00:13:02,524 --> 00:13:04,114
Del Wainwright is a werewolf.

290
00:13:04,139 --> 00:13:06,551
- Get out of my office.
- Hear me out.

291
00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:09,301
The woman who took
this photo is missing.

292
00:13:11,313 --> 00:13:13,516
This looks like a dog
standing on its hind legs.

293
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:14,653
That's what I said.

294
00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:16,414
Do you believe any of this nonsense?

295
00:13:16,439 --> 00:13:18,808
No. Sorry.

296
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:22,136
If you waste one more minute
of my time on this foolishness,

297
00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:24,379
you're fired. Understood?

298
00:13:25,092 --> 00:13:27,361
Then why are you still standing there?

299
00:13:27,386 --> 00:13:28,918
Get out!

300
00:13:36,322 --> 00:13:38,157
- Bailey.
- Who is this?

301
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:39,919
This is Jim Bidwell.

302
00:13:42,115 --> 00:13:43,150
Bull Bidwell?

303
00:13:43,175 --> 00:13:45,567
Yes. Bull Bidwell.

304
00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:48,208
What do you want?

305
00:13:48,288 --> 00:13:52,286
I believe you own a photograph
that I'm interested in.

306
00:13:52,646 --> 00:13:54,215
And why should I give it to you?

307
00:13:54,318 --> 00:13:57,262
I guess for your own well-being.

308
00:13:58,218 --> 00:14:00,223
Oh, you don't scare me.

309
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,156
If you really want that photo,
let me talk to Wainwright.

310
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,903
That's not gonna happen.

311
00:14:05,741 --> 00:14:07,723
Well then, we'll publish the photo.

312
00:14:08,527 --> 00:14:10,797
Meet me at the Trenton at 8:00 a.m.

313
00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,262
With Wainwright.

314
00:14:21,078 --> 00:14:22,246
What are you doing here?

315
00:14:22,342 --> 00:14:24,137
Wainwright's a big story.

316
00:14:24,578 --> 00:14:26,364
You still chasing dogs?

317
00:14:26,545 --> 00:14:28,317
- Miss Bailey?
- Yes.

318
00:14:28,342 --> 00:14:29,465
Right this way.

319
00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:34,120
Sorry, ma'am.

320
00:14:34,154 --> 00:14:35,556
Aw.

321
00:14:35,589 --> 00:14:36,575
Okay.

322
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,969
I see how it's gonna be.

323
00:14:40,926 --> 00:14:42,396
- Ah.
- Hello.

324
00:14:42,429 --> 00:14:43,564
- Miss Bailey.
- Hi.

325
00:14:43,597 --> 00:14:45,632
Here. Why don't you take a load off?

326
00:14:45,665 --> 00:14:47,568
- All right.
- Hope you're hungry, honey.

327
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,702
Uh, not really. No.

328
00:14:52,472 --> 00:14:54,174
Oh, I'll just have a club soda.

329
00:14:54,207 --> 00:14:56,210
Why? Are you a teetotaler, sweetheart?

330
00:14:56,242 --> 00:14:57,710
You should try the bloody Mary.

331
00:14:57,743 --> 00:14:59,512
Hey, you know what,
get her a bloody Mary.

332
00:14:59,545 --> 00:15:00,747
Best bloody Marys in town.

333
00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:02,215
It'll grow hair on your chest.

334
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,352
That's an interesting choice of words.

335
00:15:06,386 --> 00:15:09,256
Yeah, that's a good
one. You're funny, doll.

336
00:15:09,289 --> 00:15:12,326
You think you know everything
about me, don't you, huh?

337
00:15:12,358 --> 00:15:16,438
You think I'm a clown, a puppet.
Well, nobody pulls my strings.

338
00:15:16,647 --> 00:15:19,672
I didn't get where I am
by underestimating people.

339
00:15:19,955 --> 00:15:21,524
What happened to Anka?

340
00:15:22,165 --> 00:15:23,703
Uh, the vampire?

341
00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:26,540
I don't know. Why don't you tell us.

342
00:15:26,573 --> 00:15:27,572
She's your friend.

343
00:15:28,722 --> 00:15:30,079
Maybe she flew away.

344
00:15:30,104 --> 00:15:31,321
Yeah.

345
00:15:33,646 --> 00:15:35,848
Well, enough of the chit-chat.
Let's see that photo.

346
00:15:35,881 --> 00:15:38,688
May I ask Del a question first?

347
00:15:39,718 --> 00:15:41,554
Sure, sugar. It's a free country.

348
00:15:42,914 --> 00:15:44,305
Are you a werewolf?

349
00:15:45,088 --> 00:15:48,058
Well, I guess that depends
on what that photo looks like.

350
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,641
Come on. Let's see it.

351
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,266
All right.

352
00:15:57,237 --> 00:15:59,016
Let's have a...

353
00:15:59,606 --> 00:16:01,196
Oh, Del.

354
00:16:02,107 --> 00:16:05,110
Del, Del, Del, Del. I'm afraid...

355
00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:07,290
I'm afraid she's got us by
the short and curlies, Del.

356
00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:08,853
I mean, look at that.

357
00:16:14,384 --> 00:16:16,837
You come after us with this?

358
00:16:17,022 --> 00:16:19,926
Oh, I thought you were a reporter.

359
00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:22,194
You're just a little girl
with a big imagination.

360
00:16:22,227 --> 00:16:24,962
This just looks like a dog
standing on his hind legs.

361
00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:28,068
There you go. Sell that to a tabloid.

362
00:16:28,101 --> 00:16:29,993
You ain't got nothin', honey.

363
00:16:30,971 --> 00:16:33,157
You want to know something funny?

364
00:16:33,973 --> 00:16:35,712
Iam a werewolf.

365
00:16:37,477 --> 00:16:40,447
And I am going to be the next
President of the United States,

366
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,651
and there ain't a God damn
thing you can do about it.

367
00:16:52,289 --> 00:16:53,992
She's got nothin'!

368
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,438
Nobody.

369
00:16:58,397 --> 00:17:00,126
Like a God damn...

370
00:17:00,332 --> 00:17:01,968
Aaah!

371
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:04,504
Aaah!

372
00:17:05,905 --> 00:17:07,573
Del?

373
00:17:07,574 --> 00:17:09,376
Del. Calm.

374
00:17:10,844 --> 00:17:12,212
Del, just breathe.

375
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:33,100
Del...

376
00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:58,040
_

377
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,895
_

378
00:18:02,295 --> 00:18:04,031
Yes, I'm a werewolf.

379
00:18:06,031 --> 00:18:08,702
But I'm an American first.

380
00:18:09,868 --> 00:18:12,372
We are a land of second chances.

381
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,073
I have struggled with my disease

382
00:18:17,098 --> 00:18:20,047
of lycanthropy my whole life.

383
00:18:22,147 --> 00:18:24,385
But like my father before me...

384
00:18:27,686 --> 00:18:29,911
... and his father before him,

385
00:18:31,356 --> 00:18:33,208
we never let it win.

386
00:18:34,426 --> 00:18:36,996
We never let it get the best of us.

387
00:18:40,165 --> 00:18:41,734
Because...

388
00:18:41,768 --> 00:18:43,583
we are proud...

389
00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:47,374
proud Americans.

390
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:53,747
God bless the U.S.A.

391
00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,249
So, he's a werewolf?
My dad's an alcoholic.

392
00:18:56,274 --> 00:18:58,417
I want a president that's a werewolf

393
00:18:58,442 --> 00:19:01,120
so that other countries
won't push us around.

394
00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:05,053
_

395
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,172
This morning, I was supposed
to go golfing with the CEO.

396
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:11,466
Instead, Del Wainwright
went golfing with the CEO.

397
00:19:11,703 --> 00:19:13,231
I like you, Bailey.

398
00:19:13,939 --> 00:19:15,074
But word's come down,

399
00:19:15,108 --> 00:19:17,244
you're to be terminated immediately.

400
00:19:17,276 --> 00:19:18,911
- But, sir...
- I'm sorry.

401
00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,871
Can't believe you got fired.

402
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,270
Leo said he didn't care
if it was the truth.

403
00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:42,080
You want to go to dinner?

404
00:19:42,105 --> 00:19:43,839
Well, aren't you afraid
of losing your job?

405
00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:45,848
He can fire me. I don't care.

406
00:19:55,148 --> 00:19:58,762
- Thank you.
- I really am sorry I didn't believe you.

407
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,368
I got proof.

408
00:20:17,503 --> 00:20:20,707
I got proof Del killed and ate that kid.

409
00:20:22,073 --> 00:20:24,020
It's over, Anka.

410
00:20:24,841 --> 00:20:26,551
No one cares.

411
00:20:34,153 --> 00:20:35,699
Want to go get food with us?

412
00:20:36,464 --> 00:20:38,504
Well, I don't eat meat.

413
00:20:39,309 --> 00:20:41,444
You're a vampire and you don't eat meat?

414
00:20:41,626 --> 00:20:42,988
What?

415
00:20:43,362 --> 00:20:45,332
I'm a fruit bat.

416
00:20:48,086 --> 00:20:49,403
Goodnight.

417
00:20:49,427 --> 00:20:51,754
_

418
00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:00,974
You wanna know somethin' funny?

419
00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:03,738
I am a werewolf.

420
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:08,637
And I am going to be the next
President of the United States.

421
00:21:08,662 --> 00:21:10,915
- We're getting really political in
this episode. - We really are.

422
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:14,253
And the theme is quite surely,
if you tell people the truth,

423
00:21:14,278 --> 00:21:17,176
can you change the behavior?
Do you believe that?

424
00:21:17,488 --> 00:21:20,153
No, I don't. No, of course I do.

425
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,905
- Are you taking ***?
- The way the world is right now,

426
00:21:23,947 --> 00:21:26,442
if this episode actually
happened, I'd go,

427
00:21:26,731 --> 00:21:27,957
"Yeah, sounds about right."

428
00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:31,514
Yeah, it wouldn't be
anywhere *** right now.

429
00:21:31,543 --> 00:21:32,901
Slider or fastball?

430
00:21:33,101 --> 00:21:35,432
- Fastball.
- Great!

431
00:21:36,353 --> 00:21:37,737
I need to know if there's
anything in your past

432
00:21:37,762 --> 00:21:39,707
that can bite us in
the ass on the campaign.

433
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,865
I slept with my sister. No,

434
00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:43,658
I cheated...

435
00:21:43,683 --> 00:21:45,465
that's much worse...

436
00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:47,212
What was it like working with Koechner?

437
00:21:47,269 --> 00:21:49,653
Koechner was... I mean...

438
00:21:50,696 --> 00:21:52,980
You imagine it's gonna be unpleasant

439
00:21:53,954 --> 00:21:56,043
when you're working with Dave Koechner.

440
00:21:56,068 --> 00:21:58,808
And then, it is.

441
00:22:07,090 --> 00:22:09,757
I think... you see the child,

442
00:22:09,782 --> 00:22:12,900
yeah, the child that was
beaten and locked in a closet,

443
00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:15,062
inside his heart.

444
00:22:15,139 --> 00:22:18,153
So, buy your next car from
Swell... Here we go. Three,

445
00:22:18,783 --> 00:22:20,930
two... what's after two?

446
00:22:20,955 --> 00:22:23,362
Face in the car lot, visually,

447
00:22:23,387 --> 00:22:26,425
has got so many different
elements going on.

448
00:22:27,028 --> 00:22:31,966
I feel like it's an hommage to
all those late seventies films.

449
00:22:31,989 --> 00:22:35,629
It was a little bit John
Carpenter, but at the same time,

450
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,879
you know, doing Sydney Pollack.

451
00:22:38,330 --> 00:22:40,357
It has a lot of interesting characters

452
00:22:40,366 --> 00:22:43,348
but also has a very
important message to it.

453
00:22:43,373 --> 00:22:45,770
Well, no-one's gonna believe that came

454
00:22:45,795 --> 00:22:47,757
from the guy from Police Academy.

455
00:22:48,009 --> 00:22:49,859
But I'm really happy with this episode.

456
00:22:49,884 --> 00:22:51,504
I do like the satyre.

457
00:22:51,609 --> 00:22:55,119
I want a president for a werewolf.

458
00:22:55,144 --> 00:22:57,481
It felt eerily familiar.

459
00:22:57,506 --> 00:23:00,159
- It's about werewolves, man.
- Yeah, that's what I meant.

460
00:23:00,184 --> 00:23:03,772
I'm talking about the recent inflex
in werewolves into the country.

461
00:23:03,997 --> 00:23:06,673
You know? Which is why we
need to strengthen our borders.

462
00:23:12,485 --> 00:23:15,074
I swallowed my hair.

463
00:23:17,237 --> 00:23:20,346
- We're becoming such good friends.
- You guys should do a cop show.

464
00:23:20,364 --> 00:23:22,971
I think so too. We already
have it in the plans,

465
00:23:22,994 --> 00:23:25,831
*** and French, coming your way soon.

466
00:23:28,457 --> 00:23:29,986
Uh, what happened down there?

467
00:23:30,003 --> 00:23:32,735
Jason was almost totally
blind in the wolfman suit.

468
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,485
So, I'm frequently directing him

469
00:23:34,499 --> 00:23:37,113
from off-camera trying
to stir him to safety.

470
00:23:39,075 --> 00:23:41,562
Well, I hope we use the take when

471
00:23:41,584 --> 00:23:43,590
the wolf came out and

472
00:23:43,615 --> 00:23:47,097
ate it on the carpet.
I hope we use that tape.

473
00:23:48,639 --> 00:23:51,410
There was no traction to
make that right turn, so...

474
00:23:51,435 --> 00:23:53,397
I totally bifted on ***

475
00:23:53,527 --> 00:23:55,195
"Left! No, right!"

476
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:59,160
This is basically me going, "yeah, well,

477
00:23:59,186 --> 00:24:03,096
- we're fucked". That's what this episode
is about. - We hope you enjoyed it.

478
00:24:07,463 --> 00:24:09,140
Call your senators!

479
00:24:10,563 --> 00:24:12,748
- And say what?
- Oh, renew

480
00:24:12,773 --> 00:24:16,717
Misfits and Monsters
for season 2 on truTV!

481
00:24:22,278 --> 00:24:27,078
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

