Previously on Wynonna Earp...
- Bulshar. - My husband's true name.
Waverly! It's coming!
Please don't hurt us.
And don't ever cross a mother!
Did you give our daughter a name?
Her first name is Alice.
No one said parenthood was easy.
It's time to grow up.
Fine. You were right.
Bulshar's back.
Now what do we do about it?
Mama?
I can't believe we're back here, of all places.
She knows what she's doing in there.
Right?
Ever since her and Doc gave the baby up, she's been...
- Determined. - Relentless.
I've never seen her so... focused.
Yeah, she's probably... fine.
- And drunk. - So drunk.
C'mon, Wynonna. Don't Earp this up.
That's how you Earp it, girls and boys!
One sec.
You don't even like the Dragunov.
You said it lacks "grace."
I don't need grace.
I need steely Soviet precision.
I believe I had a beer?!
Yeah, a beer's not the only thing you're missing.
Right?
She's completely lost her baby boobs.
What?
You know, I'm taking the night off!
Don't you clowns ever take the night off?
Oh, I get it. You've had a rough year, eh, Wynonna?
- Shut up. - I heard it died.
I said, shut your dirty revenant mouth.
All it took to break the heir was a frickin' pregnancy.
Well, I'm not pregnant anymore.
Come on.
- Yah! - Ah!
- Hey, you got a runner. - I also got a gun.
Yeah.
Ah!
Whoa!
Was that the Dragunov?! Nice.
Yeah, "Soviet precision"? You barely grazed him.
Wow. So competitive.
So cocky.
Yo, PDA! Focus!
Welcome to the Dolls' house. Population?
Your spine.
Oh!
- Boom! - Gonna make you eat that.
- Oh, crap. - How rude.
He's a vegetarian.
Well, we did it!
She did it.
I'd ask about Bulshar and where he is, but...
Get bent.
Get dead.
I'm starting to think these
revenants don't know where Bulshar is.
We'll find him. We have to.
Boys, we've got the Ghost River Triangle under control.
Stupid Pussy Willows!
Lonnie, you been holdin' that radar gun
in your lap all night?
- Uh... - Boy, did you wanna have a family someday?
Oh.
Hold that thought, son. We got a live one.
We... we didn't even clock 'em.
Heads up.
Jó reggelt.
Is this the Ghost River Triangle?
Well, I suppose that would depend on who's asking.
Your master.
Aren't you going to invite us in?
Of course, Masters.
Come on in.
It's about time we had some vampires up in here.
Oh, buck up, Lonnie. You're gonna miss the party.
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
- 'Morning, Waves. - Mm.
Morning, bonus blankets.
Mm...
Sleep okay?
Yeah.
Though I had the weirdest dream that you were married.
Really? 'Cause I had a really weird dream
that you were making out with a
hot revenant in a hot tub.
Well, that sounds like a nightmare.
It really was a nightmare.
You know... the fighting with you.
Yeah, but...
the making-up part...
- Yeah, I know, uh... - It's...
it's pretty good.
Wait. I... One sec.
- No. - One second.
Mm. No. Please, no.
No.
The barn door's open.
Was... was she out there all night?
Oh, God. Again?
Hey. Go.
Ahem.
Hey, Sheriff.
What?
- Hit me! - I have been.
You fight like you're 180 years old.
I'm 166.
Then move like it, Grandma.
There you are.
That's it?
No sarsaparilla-soaked clapback about my form?
My form that I worked my ass off
getting back into shape.
You look great.
Almost like it never happened at all.
Tsk. Have you two been at it all night?!
Tr-training, all night?
This is not healthy.
Even superheroes need sleep.
I doubt Bulshar's out there
tucked up in his jammies, so...
I think we haven't seen hide nor hair of him for...
four months?
Nineteen weeks.
It's been 19 weeks.
I have to go open up the bar.
Earps.
You okay?
Bruised in all the right places.
That bad, huh?
He won't touch me unless we're training.
And he won't talk to me unless he's angry.
So I keep him training and angry.
Doc just needs time.
It's the one thing I don't think we have.
Breaking this knob-gobbling curse will help too.
So we keep looking for Bulshar and
keep sending revenants back to hell.
- What else can we do, right? - Keep the faith...
... about Doc.
He loves you, Wynonna.
We all do.
Hey, uh... sorry to interrupt.
Right? That's my move.
Is it a Black Badge case?
Uh, no more Black Badge.
- Is it an "us" case? - I'd say it's all hands on deck.
Okay. Uh...
We'll follow you there.
And... we're back at the Pussy.
God, can't remember the last time I was in here.
- Right? - We were here last night.
I thought that vomit smelled familiar.
You know, Mama used to love this place,
back when it was The County Line Saloon.
I used to wonder whether she'd left us
to tour the rodeo circuit full-time
with her magical Pegasus, Jellybean.
Jellybean?
Jesusbean!
Wynonna.
- Waverly. - Hi.
What the hell, Nedley? If you're going for creepy,
that neckerchief takes it to the next level.
It's European. Do you like it?
I'm trying to make a good impression.
On who? Mr. Darcy?
Pride and Prejudice?
Flouncy Netherfield ball?
It's more of a disco.
You don't want to be here. You shouldn't be here.
Why? What's happened?
Well, whatever it is, we'll deal.
Unless it's an army of Jason Momoas
that have been cloned.
I will handle that solo.
She's such a giver.
Hope Aquaman is, too.
Nicole's already inside.
You'll see.
And, girls, I promise ya...
... they didn't do this.
Okay... Good to know.
What's up with him? Who's "they"?
The 'shrooms I've been slipping into
his coffee have finally kicked in?
C'mon, Emily Bronte.
It's Jane Austen.
There are more bodies outside.
- This is new. - Really new.
We were just here.
Almost like... it's a message, wouldn't you say?
As far as we can tell, they all died simultaneously.
Stabbed by some sort of serrated blade.
Do you think...
... they were possessed?
Like, they did it to themselves?
Then where's the murder weapon?
And who arranged the bodies afterwards?
Arranged?
They've been displayed...
very deliberately.
In a pattern.
God.
Even for Purgatory, this is bad.
Guys, I've never seen anything like this.
I have.
Black Badge division's been tracking
these massacres since the 1920s.
Massacres?
They call it the Cult of Bulshar.
Anyone else up for more vomiting?
Sixteen in total?
All employees?
And some vagrants in the alley and some customers.
But we think it happened just before opening.
Hold up. How long have you been working
with Black Badge on this?
Okay, it's not like that.
When I first heard the name... Bulshar...
wh-when Faux Mercedes said it
right before you shot the widows...
- Yeah, I did... - ... it twigged something in me.
It's like I'd heard it before. So... I asked Dolls,
and he gave me some old BBD files.
- Dolls? - Yeah.
Agent Xavier Pamela Dolls?
Pretty sure his middle name's not Pamela.
You know what it is?
Okay, the Cult of Bulshar, as in Bulshar...
i.e. Sheriff Clootie, AKA the demon who cursed our family?
Sweetie, do you know another Bulshar?
I know that Wyatt Earp shot him
and had him entombed.
Until his spider wives and our friend Bobo let him out.
Tsk. Good times.
No, no, I'm saying that Bulshar
has been in the ground for 130 years.
He couldn't have spearheaded a killing cult.
Maybe he had admirers.
Or bitches in black eager to do his bidding?
My God, have you seen this?
Nicole?
Hey... it's okay. Uh...
Hey. Come on, let's go get you some water.
Revenant?
Demon?
Horny flock of Jason Momoas?
Come out, come out, whatever you are.
Hey, bud, if you're looking for your eight seconds of glory
on the mechanical bull, she's currently out of order
due to a hella homicide spree.
Also, there was some puke.
Wynonna's in denial and training herself to death;
Doc's all... sad eyes and quiet mouth,
and you, who's usually my rock...
... having a panic attack?
Not that it's about me.
Keep it together, Earp.
Earp-ish.
Nicole?
You okay in there?
Mm-mm.
Oh! You made me pee a little.
'Least I'm in the right place for it.
Oh, are you hiding in here?
I don't hide. I wait.
It's okay, you're...
you're safe now, okay? You're alive.
Not exactly.
- Did you kill them? - No.
Are you going to kill us?
Probably not.
That's super cool of you.
We need you as tribute.
Wow.
You are so beautiful.
Ah. And you can't even see it.
Her name's Petra. She's a vampire.
And I love her.
Right?
Best crime scene ever!
Oh, of course.
Waverly, I gotta jet!
Got one mother of an errand to run.
Fire! Hellfire!
No, not fire.
Not in Hell. Not currently.
Uh, I really do miss the days when you could, uh...
... could shoot a man for laughing at ya.
Word of warning: in this establishment,
we do not bother to call 9-1-1.
No, okay, yeah, it's not One Direction.
I almost shot ya.
The hell you doing in my basement?
Okay, I... lied. It was One Direction.
But, um, I'm just, uh...
Tweaking Dolls' drugs.
Yeah.
And if I may say,
although it hurts me to do so physically...
Jeremy.
You look slightly less dapper than usual.
- You still not sleeping? - It is hard to sleep
when the demon that cursed the Earps is still out there.
You ever heard of male postpartum depression?
It's a thing.
Did you leave the waffle-maker on again?
This is not smoke. It is fog.
Mm. Kinda sexy fog.
Vampires? In Purgatory?
More critically, in my damn bar.
Jeremy, run!
Doc! Doc!
I am so honoured to serve you, my liege.
I have to ask: Thoughts on Twilight?
Look, I know you told me not to come back here, but...
... we need to talk.
About... him.
So start talking, Mama.
Mama?
So this is what I get? The silent treatment?
That's real mature.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important.
Okay? There's been a murder.
Actually, a lot of murder.
Like, a buttload of murder.
We think it has to do with a cult.
The Cult of Bulshar.
You've said his name to me before, remember?
The last time...
... he put a curse on our family.
No, no.
He put a curse on the Earps.
Great. Well, you married one.
More the reason I was known for my big hair...
and my big...
- Mama. - ... wit, and not my big brains.
Mama, how are you connected to Bulshar?
The voice tells me things about him.
- Mama. - Quiet!
I need you now.
Waverly needs you now.
You're gonna get your little sister killed.
I can end the curse.
No!
- Shhh! - Mama. Mama?
Sit down.
It's fine. Mama.
My daughters are off limits! Do you hear me?!
Mom!
You sleep half your lives away
and are utterly helpless while doing so.
Amazing you mortals survived this long.
Well, I would hate to have missed whatever this is.
We've been hearing rumours for months
that John Henry Holliday is back from the dead.
Well, dead feels pretty relative these days.
What do you want with him?
Doc Holliday is a rogue.
A legend.
He stole, swore and screwed his way through the frontier.
Guilty as charged.
Well, we think he'd be a wonderful addition
to our little blood-sucking menagerie.
You want to recruit me.
Mm...
More like... turn you.
Into what?
You'd get to experience pleasure
you've never even thought of.
And I know you.
You know me?
We know Doc is a dilettante...
with a taste for, well, everything.
What's the catch?
I mean besides finding myself bound
to the apparatus of an ecdysiast.
You have to prove you're actually him.
And how, pray tell... will I do that?
Endure.
She's clearly overmedicated.
Or undermedicated. Hearing voices, that's new.
And why hasn't she had a parole hearing in eight years?
Because she's batshit crazy?
And Michelle insisted she didn't want to leave.
Well, I want access to all her medical records.
I see no reason to release them.
Your mother's sister, your Aunt, Gus Gibson,
has power of attorney, whereas you,
her shit-disturbing, felon daughter...
Is a U.S. ranking Marshall
working a cross-border task force
at a very high-level government agency.
Who are you?
- My boss. - Her partner.
So, Warden...
Michelle Gibson's files, please?
A lot of stuff has been redacted.
How long have you known that Mama was here?
That I'd been visiting?
You tailed me?
I mean, you've been sneaking away a lot lately.
I thought, you know, 'cause you needed some space...
after the baby.
Hmm.
I... I thought you'd be madder.
And I thought you didn't do dairy.
Sometimes you need a cheeseburger, you know?
What was the official charge?
You didn't know what she was in for?
No.
I remember she got taken away
and I remember Daddy ordering us
to tell Waverly that she'd run off... voluntarily.
Six months later, dear Daddy was dead,
at my hand.
Mama's talked about Bulshar in the past,
and now he's back and making moves.
Big, bloody moves.
Yeah, maybe, but these massacres have been happening
for years before without him.
There was somebody at the scene.
Did not look like a choirboy.
- So Bulshar has help. - So do I.
Alright.
Wynonna?
Talk about a full-meal deal.
Vampires.
Of course. Eventually, there'd be vampires.
What happened to "Doc Holliday was a legend"?
Legends get tested.
Please.
Please? Are you pleading?
I am telling you I do not want this.
I don't care what you want!
Fine, we'll take a break.
Besides, there's no way my kin will believe that
this quivering mass of boy is Doc Holliday.
So... you came all the way to Purgatory... for me.
Oh, please.
We came for the show,
to observe when he takes his power back.
- Bulshar. - Shhh!
He's not to be trifled with.
Everyone must pay him fealty if they plan to...
Endure?
Me and my team aren't going anywhere.
Teams are for children and stickball.
You'll all be separated.
The old ones he'll take for his purposes.
Old ones. Oh, and the rest?
Vampire chow.
You will find you have underestimated
the gumption of the people in this territory.
And myself... yet again.
Again?
Oh, come now.
This whole setup feels awfully personal.
Intimate, even.
I am starting to wonder if...
we are not friends.
Since when does Doc Holliday care about friends?
Countessa?
And you're still an asshole!
What the... ?
Fog?
Sexy fog.
Please be a surprise Rihanna concert.
Fire up the jeep!
We gotta warn everyone
they're responsible for the murder buttload!
What? Who?
Vampires! I just took one out in the barn.
Nobody told me Taco Tuesday was now a formal affair.
You guys, she bitch-stabbed hot Kamen!
What?! He was so hot!
Why isn't she glamoured?
Are you?
When are humans gonna stop their rampant prejudice
against vampires, who are the best?
Ooh.
Right now!
Ha! Nice one, babe.
Should we finish the job?
I am keen to impress my liege, Ebbe.
Liege? Yeah, that can't be right.
But we can't kill Wynonna. We love Wynonna.
Well...
And we're not allowed to hurt her, remember?
Petra said so.
- So what do we do? - Easy.
We get her ready.
Then we deliver her... in that.
- Oh! - Oh, my God.
I am so proud of you, Sheriff.
You're going to be such a good vampire!
And you, son, are gonna be delicious.
Aw, c'mere.
How long has that slinky little number
been hiding at the back of your closet?
Well, I was saving it for our one-year anniversary,
but this is so much more important.
This is royal-wedding level.
And we're here... together.
For now.
I love you, Waverly Earp,
and nothing will ever tear us apart.
But if it has to be something,
at least it's hot European vampires.
Totally.
But... I don't think I can watch you get eaten.
Be a... a victim?
I've... I've never been a victim.
I'm a survivor.
No, I'm the survivor. I...
Thank you!
Thank you, koszonom.
Please enjoy yourselves this evening.
One way or another, it will be your last.
You may not realize it,
but this place you call home is special.
Haunted, yes,
but also... blessed.
It is a tragedy that this triangle has been wasted on you...
ranch-dressing, smothering masses of flesh.
Though we appreciate
the obvious effort you've made
to fatten yourselves up.
Do you think he's nearly finished?
My Spanx are riding up.
The good news is,
he will return to save this place.
And we are here to watch him do so.
Ooh, you went bow-tie!
Yeah, you gotta rock out with your knot out.
Hey, uh, where's Wynonna?
I kinda promised Ebbe that I knew her.
Hey.
- Oh. So cute. - Yeah, I think we're getting
to first base tonight.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Come in. Holy shit!
That was more cramped than the canoe I lost my virginity in.
Hey, we're in the basement of the Gardner house.
I really hope it was Waverly who dressed me,
but the gloves scream Jeremy.
There are vampires in Purgatory.
Yeah, there are.
They tried to attack me at my truck, but then I got away.
- Got away how? - Rest of our friends
and the whole town are under some sort of spell.
It's like with one touch, they can control them.
It's like they turn into vampire-loving groupies.
I spent a month on tour with Nine Inch Nails. I get it.
Yeah, but guess what. We can kill them with this.
Nocturnal Exsanguinator Clearance.
Black Badge issued my NEC kit, first day in the division.
Never had a chance to use it until right now.
"Kill the vampire who's glamoured a civilian
and the civilian will return to their senses."
We're gonna need more stakes.
Waverly called me the guest of honour.
Then you'd better make one hell of an entrance.
It is time.
Everyone who is a descendant
of the original Purgatory families,
those who lived in terror under Bulshar
when he was Sheriff Clootie, and then stood by
as Wyatt Earp and Robert Svane
shot and entombed him,
please make your way into the VIP area.
What do I do? I'm not really an Earp.
- So? They don't know that. - Hey, could I pass for an Earp?
- Wait. No. - Probably not.
This isn't... this isn't right! Guys.
The VIPs will be offered up
to Bulshar himself, as a tribute,
for him to do with what he may.
The rest of you are for us...
to eat.
I'll tell you what you can eat: a dick.
I beg your pardon?
You heard what I said.
Don't make me say it again.
- Please? - Darling, how do you expect
to defeat Bulshar when you can't even resist us?
Hold that thought, Vengabus.
Waverly, who's your favourite vampire?
Ah, I gotta go with Petra.
What?
- How could she choose just one? - Dolls!
Holy holy water!
Earp!
Hey, sexy.
Wait! Dolls!
Get out of our town!
Purgatory is for the living... mostly.
You will serve us. Protect us.
Always.
Ooh, treasonous.
Does that mean there's an opening on the VIP roster?
Ah! That's my girlfriend, you bloodsucking bitch!
Damn straight.
Speaking of your godawful moustache,
when's the last time you saw Doc?
Dunno.
John Henry Holliday,
the greatest gunslinger that ever lived!
I will not get ate while tied to a stripper pole!
Hopefully.
Argh. Ah!
It's all gone to shit!
They're killing everyone out there!
Ah!
You're free.
And bleeding.
It is you.
What have they done to you?
What I don't want them to do to you.
Whatever happens, stay here.
Countessa!
You'll never take the shot.
You don't have it in you anymore.
No wonder Wyatt left you to die.
I never could abide your tauntin'.
I did come back for you.
Your plasma parfait was a bust.
Don't worry... I'm fine.
Oh, not Ebbe!
I... I think he actually liked me.
Wait.
Why is Doc shirtless?
Hey. You okay?
I am now.
Nice form.
Very nice.
I'm still getting back into it.
Psst. Looks like you, uh, forgot one.
Should've stayed in Sweden, Abba.
I'm from Hungary.
- Hung-a-ry for a di... - Wynonna.
You know Bulshar.
Do you know what he did to my family?
An endless curse.
All who Wyatt Earp killed
rise from the dead as revenants,
and his chosen descendant hunts them down
again and again.
Elegant.
Bulshar's wrath will not be.
- Why is he here? - To finish what he started over a century ago.
I will die before I tell you anything else.
Well...
... that'll be up to him.
No.
No, I-I can't face him empty-handed.
Well, then, give him this from me.
And do let him know... I'm coming for him.
You really are a stupid girl.
'Least I'm not over, like vampires.
Oh, and also...
... we're keeping your stripper bus.
Bulshar! Master.
We had them...
the old families, the originals.
But the Earp slag,
Wyatt's heir, got in the way.
There are many ways to serve Bulshar.
You will show others the path.
Ah! Ah!
Ah. Ah! Ah... !
Whisky, neat.
God, it feels good to say that again.
Well, I bet.
Even if it is 10 a.m.
Oh... there's never a wrong time for whisky.
Except when there is none at your disposal.
To another day... on God's green Earth.
Spent fighting, no less.
To victory in the face of vampires.
To Alice.
Always.
What's gotten into you?
Something I thought was lost.
Well, welcome back, Holliday.
And the townspeople?
Nedley's on it.
If my head's any indication, they'll get foggy
on the vampy details of what happened soon enough.
How did it feel to get glamoured?
Mm. Warm? Yeah, tingly.
Like peeing in the shower?
In the barn, when Kamen attacked you, you didn't get...
- Nothing. - Did Peacemaker protect you?
Maybe. And you two?
What happened?
Nothin' I ain't seen before.
Petra tried to glamour me at the truck multiple times, but...
But you are basically a dragon,
so weren't susceptible to her charms.
Yeah, something like that.
What I Heard: More booze for everyone.
Not for you.
You have to drive Waverly home.
You have something to talk about, right?
Do I have a choice?
You always make the right one, Earp.
Most of the time.
C'mon, baby girl.
I'll explain in the truck.
Oh, thank you.
Nicole still working?
Yeah.
This one really shook her up.
Hmm.
Hmm. Burning the breakfast oil?
Yeah, well, good morning... Vietnamese?
How's it going?
Hard to complain when they can't.
Look at them.
They didn't even see it coming.
Yeah, it's tough, cases like these.
Cases where there are no survivors.
That's just it, Dolls. I'm...
I'm starting to think there was a Cult of Bulshar survivor once.
And it was me.
- You're pregnant again. - Hell to the no.
Colluded with Russia to steal an election.
Nyet.
Oh! You lost my limited-edition sparkle Ugg slippers?
Check your feet.
Look, whatever Dolls says, I trust you, Wynonna.
You'll tell me when you're ready.
It's about Mama.
What about Mama?
A prison pass?
Wynonna, look out!
No! Please! No, there's another one!
My sister's still in there! No!
Wynonna!
Oh, no, no!
No!
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --