1 00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:06,554 Hey, thanks for coming early. 2 00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:08,345 We are in crisis mode. 3 00:00:08,346 --> 00:00:10,212 Dave is fresh off his breakup with Patricia, 4 00:00:10,247 --> 00:00:12,147 and post-breakup Dave is the worst Dave there is. 5 00:00:12,182 --> 00:00:13,315 I thought "Hold the phone." 6 00:00:13,350 --> 00:00:14,894 "You've never heard of Fleetwood Mac" Dave 7 00:00:14,919 --> 00:00:16,044 was the worst Dave. 8 00:00:16,086 --> 00:00:18,387 No, "I'm not a racist, but..." Dave is the worst Dave. 9 00:00:18,422 --> 00:00:19,365 I'm not a particular fan 10 00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:21,038 of "You were in my dream last night" Dave. 11 00:00:21,059 --> 00:00:22,926 The only Dave I don't like is Dave Matthews. 12 00:00:22,961 --> 00:00:24,494 It's like, "Ugh, finish the song." 13 00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:25,628 What's in the bag? 14 00:00:26,553 --> 00:00:28,023 Stuff to help him through this. 15 00:00:28,024 --> 00:00:29,823 He's gonna be a mess, and it's up to us to get him 16 00:00:29,858 --> 00:00:31,091 back on his feet. Colin, you give him those. 17 00:00:31,126 --> 00:00:33,827 - Dave loves... - Oh, these are disgusting. 18 00:00:33,862 --> 00:00:35,696 To smell them. They're decorative soaps. 19 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:39,136 And this is Unlikely Animal Friends, 20 00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:41,538 a photo book of interspecies animals cuddling 21 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:42,739 to restore his faith in love. 22 00:00:42,775 --> 00:00:44,274 Oh, I have similar book, 23 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,376 but it's a cookbook. 24 00:00:46,817 --> 00:00:47,855 Nichole, 25 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,104 here are giant sunglasses 26 00:00:49,105 --> 00:00:50,959 so Dave can hide his puffy eyes from all the crying. 27 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,959 What am I giving him? 28 00:00:51,994 --> 00:00:53,593 You just have to pretend to care. 29 00:00:53,629 --> 00:00:54,661 Ronnie, it's not called "pretend" 30 00:00:54,696 --> 00:00:55,762 when you're classically trained. 31 00:00:55,797 --> 00:00:56,930 It's called "technique." 32 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,498 Oh! Okay, uh, here he comes. 33 00:00:58,534 --> 00:00:59,492 Everybody get ready. 34 00:01:03,071 --> 00:01:04,804 Hey, nerds. What are we smiling at? 35 00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:08,098 David, I know this breakup was tough. 36 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:09,163 But I'm here for you. 37 00:01:09,164 --> 00:01:11,029 When you hurt, I hurt. 38 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,128 Guys, I appreciate it, 39 00:01:12,163 --> 00:01:13,296 but the breakup is already behind me. 40 00:01:13,331 --> 00:01:14,397 I'm really okay. 41 00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:15,498 See you on board. 42 00:01:16,499 --> 00:01:17,569 Wow. 43 00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:19,627 I did not expect him to bounce back so quickly. 44 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:20,895 Do we really think he's okay? 45 00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:23,064 Who cares? I just left it all out on the stage, 46 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,133 and for what? A pat on the back and "see you on board"? 47 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,534 What a waste of a brave performance. 48 00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:27,902 I'll be in my dressing room. 49 00:01:29,177 --> 00:01:30,715 He has a dressing room? 50 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,408 Oh, that's what he calls every bathroom he goes into. 51 00:01:32,507 --> 00:01:33,780 Jackpot Airlines. 52 00:01:33,805 --> 00:01:35,509 Northeast-bound to Las Vegas. 53 00:01:40,082 --> 00:01:42,282 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 54 00:01:44,926 --> 00:01:45,989 Nichole, 55 00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:47,467 I need to talk to you about something, 56 00:01:47,468 --> 00:01:48,600 and I haven't told anyone yet. 57 00:01:48,636 --> 00:01:50,869 It's okay. I saw you sneeze into a pillow 58 00:01:50,905 --> 00:01:53,305 and give it to that guy. We all have hard days at work. 59 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:55,486 Oh, no, that was intentional. He told me I looked tired. 60 00:01:55,511 --> 00:01:56,440 -Rude. 61 00:01:56,465 --> 00:01:58,310 -So, Bryan asked me to move in with him. 62 00:01:58,345 --> 00:01:59,378 Oh, my God, that's so great. 63 00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:00,846 I mean, I get that offer all the time, 64 00:02:00,881 --> 00:02:02,948 but I'm not about to break up Dirk Nowitzki's marriage. 65 00:02:03,893 --> 00:02:05,139 Our lives are different. 66 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:07,349 Look, I've never lived with anyone. 67 00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:08,982 How do I know if I'm even ready? 68 00:02:09,017 --> 00:02:11,418 This is a huge decision, and I'm gonna see him this weekend. 69 00:02:11,453 --> 00:02:12,652 I have to tell him something. 70 00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:14,855 Okay, I get it. This is big. 71 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:16,523 How do you normally make big life decisions? 72 00:02:16,558 --> 00:02:18,492 - Quickly and panicked. - How's that working out for you? 73 00:02:18,527 --> 00:02:20,427 Not great. You want to buy a moped? 74 00:02:20,462 --> 00:02:22,162 First thing you need to do is make a pro/con list. 75 00:02:22,197 --> 00:02:23,697 I do them for just about everything. 76 00:02:23,732 --> 00:02:24,831 "Should I dye my hair blonde? 77 00:02:24,867 --> 00:02:26,166 "Should I quit social media? 78 00:02:26,201 --> 00:02:27,267 Should I run for senate?" 79 00:02:27,302 --> 00:02:29,002 - Ow! - Oh, I'm sorry. 80 00:02:29,037 --> 00:02:30,437 Did you want to help me with the drink service, 81 00:02:30,472 --> 00:02:32,700 or stay here and play grab-ass with your little friend? 82 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:41,559 Artem, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. 83 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,992 Oh, the fake English accent? 84 00:02:43,027 --> 00:02:44,160 Just drop it. 85 00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:45,495 We like you for you, man. 86 00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:47,330 No, this L.A. to Vegas commute. 87 00:02:47,365 --> 00:02:48,498 It's killing me. 88 00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:50,533 I don't understand the allure of this city. 89 00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:53,336 There's something for everybody in Vegas. 90 00:02:53,371 --> 00:02:55,872 And if you are put in the right situation, 91 00:02:55,907 --> 00:02:58,407 you would realize there's more Vegas in you 92 00:02:58,443 --> 00:03:00,576 than you ever imagined. 93 00:03:00,612 --> 00:03:02,845 I think it's fair to say there's not an ounce of Vegas 94 00:03:02,881 --> 00:03:04,013 in me right now. 95 00:03:04,048 --> 00:03:05,474 Oh, yes, there is. 96 00:03:05,992 --> 00:03:08,219 I see it so clearly now, 97 00:03:08,244 --> 00:03:10,965 as I can see how you're gonna die. 98 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,142 Natural causes. 99 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,682 I'm really proud of how you're handling this breakup, Dave. 100 00:03:18,683 --> 00:03:19,648 You're my hero. 101 00:03:19,683 --> 00:03:21,669 Thanks, Alan. I'm my hero, too. 102 00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:23,957 You know, there's a term for my evolution. 103 00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:25,931 It's called "emotional growth." 104 00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:28,323 I'm at a point in my life where I give myself permission 105 00:03:28,359 --> 00:03:31,675 to feel what I'm feeling and just let it go. 106 00:03:31,717 --> 00:03:34,351 If you started a cult, I would leave mine and join yours. 107 00:03:34,386 --> 00:03:36,186 Don't leave your cult for me. 108 00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:37,554 You love Weight Watchers. 109 00:03:38,546 --> 00:03:40,496 Okay, so what are we plugging today? 110 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:45,193 Hey there, folks, Captain Dave here. 111 00:03:45,194 --> 00:03:46,326 You smell that? 112 00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:47,723 That's love in the air. 113 00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:48,789 And if you're feeling ready to make 114 00:03:48,825 --> 00:03:50,458 that special relationship official, 115 00:03:50,459 --> 00:03:52,257 head on down to Wed-Locked, 116 00:03:52,292 --> 00:03:55,927 Vegas' first escape room... slash... 117 00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:58,354 wedding chapel. 118 00:03:59,299 --> 00:04:00,384 Oh, God. 119 00:04:03,349 --> 00:04:06,951 Folks, I'm gonna go off-script here 120 00:04:06,987 --> 00:04:08,620 and get real with you. 121 00:04:08,656 --> 00:04:11,067 You know, I used to believe in love. 122 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,443 Then, I realized love sucks. 123 00:04:13,478 --> 00:04:15,352 It's a total waste of time. 124 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,512 I'm done with it. 125 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:17,863 Artem, I need that book. 126 00:04:18,282 --> 00:04:19,291 Done. 127 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,518 - I don't need love anymore. - Come on, Dave, let me in. 128 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,021 Lots of people don't have love, and they're doing great. 129 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,056 Like my friend Colin. 130 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,857 The pale gentleman in the tweed jacket. 131 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:31,361 He has the air of a widower, but really, he's just divorced. 132 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,528 Hey, Colin, 133 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,364 let's you and me disappear into the woods 134 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,265 and live off the land, sustaining ourselves 135 00:04:36,301 --> 00:04:38,801 on our shared hatred of romance. 136 00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:40,069 Look at this one, Dave. 137 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:42,905 It's a German Shepherd and a baby owl. 138 00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:45,375 He should be eating him, but they're touching noses. 139 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:49,410 So, to sum it all up, folks, I hate love. 140 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,583 I don't need it, and neither does Colin. 141 00:04:53,618 --> 00:04:55,239 - Right, Colin? - Right. 142 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,654 Just to be clear, Captain Dave and I 143 00:04:57,689 --> 00:04:59,822 are on very different emotional paths. 144 00:05:00,418 --> 00:05:03,352 I'm not that lonely, I just like to read books. 145 00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:04,871 - Ay, Papi. - Come on, mate. 146 00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:13,588 What the hell was that, Dave? 147 00:05:13,589 --> 00:05:15,307 That was a punch in the face called "truth." 148 00:05:15,754 --> 00:05:17,687 And your first taste of the new me. 149 00:05:18,122 --> 00:05:19,503 It might get bitter. 150 00:05:20,049 --> 00:05:20,961 Yeah? 151 00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:23,755 That's it. 152 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,873 So it looks like our flight to L.A. is going to be delayed. 153 00:05:25,874 --> 00:05:27,539 Apparently, there's a warning light on in the cockpit 154 00:05:27,574 --> 00:05:28,707 they need to check out. 155 00:05:28,742 --> 00:05:30,210 Do you know anything about this, Dave? 156 00:05:30,544 --> 00:05:32,944 Why wasn't I enough? 157 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,727 Warning. Warning. 158 00:05:34,728 --> 00:05:35,713 Nope. 159 00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:38,362 Look, I know you're hurting right now, 160 00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:39,845 but you've got to pull it together. 161 00:05:39,944 --> 00:05:41,177 You have a job to do, 162 00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:42,678 so while they're fixing this warning light, 163 00:05:42,714 --> 00:05:45,381 why don't you go blow off some steam and get your head right? 164 00:05:45,718 --> 00:05:47,084 I'm gonna go to Hudson News 165 00:05:47,127 --> 00:05:49,540 and tip over a rack of Nora Roberts novels. 166 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:52,060 If I can't have romance, no one can. 167 00:05:53,307 --> 00:05:54,434 Bernard. 168 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,219 I should have known you were behind this delay. 169 00:05:57,220 --> 00:06:00,587 Caroline, I knew I caught a waft of soup breath and eczema cream. 170 00:06:00,623 --> 00:06:04,158 Listen, you sour-faced Contempo Casuals mannequin come to life, 171 00:06:04,193 --> 00:06:06,527 the gate agents are not taking the fall for this mess 172 00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:08,329 because you two screwed up. 173 00:06:08,364 --> 00:06:10,431 You look like a moray eel with a wig. 174 00:06:10,466 --> 00:06:13,400 You look like a Snapchat filter called "Ugly Tyrese." 175 00:06:13,436 --> 00:06:15,936 O-Okay, guys, let's not do this again. 176 00:06:15,972 --> 00:06:17,371 Come on, we're all in it together. 177 00:06:17,406 --> 00:06:21,406 The plane will be fixed soon, so UNTIL THEN: hands in, go team. 178 00:06:22,879 --> 00:06:24,011 Know this, Bernard. 179 00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,596 I'm going to get you. 180 00:06:26,117 --> 00:06:28,019 And your little dog, too. 181 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,877 Why does she hate us so much? 182 00:06:31,878 --> 00:06:33,943 It's probably because I slept with her boyfriend. 183 00:06:33,979 --> 00:06:36,849 I didn't want to, but I could, so I did. 184 00:06:40,652 --> 00:06:41,618 Oh, hey. 185 00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:44,020 Look what the Kat Dennings dragged in. 186 00:06:44,056 --> 00:06:45,688 What are you still doing here? 187 00:06:45,724 --> 00:06:47,457 It seems my ex took my son to Phoenix 188 00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:49,153 to visit her mum without telling me. 189 00:06:49,294 --> 00:06:52,446 So, apparently, I just flew to Vegas to use an airport toilet. 190 00:06:53,148 --> 00:06:54,581 What are you still doing here? 191 00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:58,091 I'm gonna get a ride as soon as Serge pricing goes down. 192 00:06:58,135 --> 00:06:59,869 How about now, Serge? 193 00:06:59,904 --> 00:07:01,091 Mm-mm. 194 00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,387 Hey, Captain Dave. 195 00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:07,915 The sadness that is usually on the inside 196 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,806 is now on outside. 197 00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:11,243 Ronnie said that the flight is delayed 198 00:07:11,279 --> 00:07:12,645 and I should blow off some steam, 199 00:07:12,681 --> 00:07:13,913 but I don't know how to do it. 200 00:07:13,949 --> 00:07:16,082 Everything reminds me of Patricia, even you guys. 201 00:07:16,117 --> 00:07:19,124 Artem, your long, beautiful hair. 202 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,101 Colin, your soft, feminine bone structure. 203 00:07:22,135 --> 00:07:24,202 Captain, I know what you need. 204 00:07:24,237 --> 00:07:26,871 Let me take you to a very special place, 205 00:07:26,906 --> 00:07:30,906 a place where you can think, reflect and relax. 206 00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:33,223 A casino? 207 00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,088 This is where you go to think and reflect? 208 00:07:35,124 --> 00:07:36,902 Yeah, just listen. 209 00:07:37,261 --> 00:07:39,628 It's like a thousand game shows having an orgy. 210 00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:43,132 Exactly. Everything in here is designed to distract you 211 00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:45,634 from thinking about anything else. 212 00:07:45,670 --> 00:07:49,505 All that matter is right in front of you, Captain Dave. 213 00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,974 What do you say? Just one roll? 214 00:07:52,009 --> 00:07:53,909 And see where it takes you. 215 00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:55,330 Shooter's up. 216 00:07:59,183 --> 00:08:00,758 - Seven. Winner. - Oh! 217 00:08:00,783 --> 00:08:02,200 What? 218 00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:04,336 Let's do it again. 219 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,618 Now, wait. We must adhere to the powers of superstition. 220 00:08:07,619 --> 00:08:09,818 Colin, what were you doing just before he rolled? 221 00:08:09,853 --> 00:08:11,653 Just leaning on the table and taking a drink. 222 00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:14,957 Then you do exactly that and I stand here looking cool 223 00:08:14,992 --> 00:08:16,858 because that's what I was doing. 224 00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:22,364 Yo, 11. Winner. 225 00:08:22,399 --> 00:08:24,289 - Wow! - Come on. 226 00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:26,101 Looks like we're staying. 227 00:08:26,136 --> 00:08:27,886 Hey, Serge, you can leave. 228 00:08:29,455 --> 00:08:33,455 Okay. Moving in with Bryan, pro/con list, page three. 229 00:08:33,694 --> 00:08:36,121 Pro: Bryan is super thoughtful. 230 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,353 He said if we lived together, 231 00:08:37,388 --> 00:08:38,521 he would keep his fancy wine fridge 232 00:08:38,556 --> 00:08:39,796 stocked with cheap beer for me. 233 00:08:39,824 --> 00:08:41,549 Aw. He's not gonna change your trashy. 234 00:08:41,574 --> 00:08:42,492 Mm-hmm. 235 00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:46,105 Con: Sometimes he wears this Lenny Kravitz-y scarf 236 00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:47,263 he thinks is cool. 237 00:08:47,298 --> 00:08:48,965 It's a grievance, not a deal breaker. 238 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,366 He knitted it himself. 239 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,667 Keep reading. 240 00:08:52,668 --> 00:08:56,667 Pro: He has fancier shampoo than me and I can use it every day. 241 00:08:57,238 --> 00:08:59,305 Con: He has fancier shampoo than me. 242 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,240 Okay, Ronnie, we've been at this for 30 minutes, 243 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,475 and I got to say, 244 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,143 you haven't listed one real reason 245 00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:05,711 why you shouldn't move in with Bryan. 246 00:09:05,747 --> 00:09:08,572 Okay. What about Bernard? 247 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,683 He would be devastated if I left. 248 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,884 I'd be fine if you left. 249 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,819 Won't you miss my Sunday morning pancakes? 250 00:09:13,855 --> 00:09:14,920 Those were pancakes? 251 00:09:14,956 --> 00:09:17,089 I guess we can cross Bernard being devastated 252 00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:18,198 off your con list. 253 00:09:18,532 --> 00:09:20,565 Sorry to interrupt your Mensa meeting, 254 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,567 but we fixed the warning light issue, 255 00:09:22,602 --> 00:09:25,270 so I hope you sky trash are ready to go. 256 00:09:25,305 --> 00:09:28,039 Oh, I'm ready to go... after your next boyfriend. 257 00:09:28,929 --> 00:09:30,061 This time make it a straight one. 258 00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:31,205 Give me a challenge. 259 00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:32,761 Okay, enough. 260 00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:34,092 Caroline, we'll be ready. 261 00:09:34,129 --> 00:09:35,261 Don't you worry. Thank you. 262 00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,869 Okay, she is looking for any reason to take us down. 263 00:09:42,904 --> 00:09:44,603 We have to get moving. Where is Dave? 264 00:09:44,604 --> 00:09:45,869 We can't go anywhere without a pilot. 265 00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:47,393 - Not a clue. - I should fly Delta. 266 00:09:49,275 --> 00:09:51,241 Five, winner! 267 00:09:51,277 --> 00:09:53,076 Unbelievable. 268 00:09:53,112 --> 00:09:54,444 That's, like, ten winners in a row. 269 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,546 I know. I kind of can't lose right now. 270 00:09:56,582 --> 00:09:59,116 A roll like this is incredibly rare. 271 00:09:59,151 --> 00:10:02,486 It's like a unicorn fighting another unicorn. 272 00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:04,508 They're usually very friendly. 273 00:10:04,509 --> 00:10:06,641 Oh, uh, just checking, this drink is free, too, right? 274 00:10:06,677 --> 00:10:08,743 Yes. You don't need to ask me that every time. 275 00:10:08,779 --> 00:10:11,846 Gosh, this must be how LL Cool J feels every day. 276 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,903 Probably not. 277 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,005 I'll take it. 278 00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:19,034 You just keep on rolling. 279 00:10:19,877 --> 00:10:21,533 Hey, Captain Dave's telephone. Artem speaking. 280 00:10:23,135 --> 00:10:26,270 Artem, where did you take Dave, and what is all that cheering? 281 00:10:26,305 --> 00:10:29,039 Oh, we're at the casino and he's playing craps. 282 00:10:29,075 --> 00:10:30,741 Captain Dave is on fire, 283 00:10:30,776 --> 00:10:33,544 just like left-handed children in my village. 284 00:10:33,579 --> 00:10:34,912 What?! No. 285 00:10:34,947 --> 00:10:36,713 Our plane is ready. We have to take off. 286 00:10:36,749 --> 00:10:38,549 You need to get him back to the airport right now. 287 00:10:38,584 --> 00:10:41,218 All right. Hey, it's Ronnie. 288 00:10:41,253 --> 00:10:43,587 She says she needs you back at the airport right now. 289 00:10:43,622 --> 00:10:45,222 I just hit another winner. I can't leave. 290 00:10:45,257 --> 00:10:46,999 - Tell her I ain't going, baby. - Okay. 291 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,426 - He says he's not coming. - I said, "Ain't going, baby." 292 00:10:50,532 --> 00:10:52,666 He said he's not going, baby. 293 00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:55,502 - Ain't going, baby! - He says... 294 00:10:55,537 --> 00:10:56,570 I heard what he said. 295 00:10:56,605 --> 00:10:58,636 But did you hear how he said it? 296 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:02,284 Yes! 297 00:11:07,925 --> 00:11:09,125 Dave's not coming back because 298 00:11:09,228 --> 00:11:11,153 he's on a run at a craps table? This is ridiculous. 299 00:11:11,178 --> 00:11:13,747 He's been gone for... five Oscar acceptance speeches. 300 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,674 One: I still can't believe that's how you keep time, 301 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,415 and two: I am going to find Dave 302 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,576 and drag him back here, 303 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,479 - whatever it takes. - Maybe I should go with you. 304 00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:21,701 It was my mom he was dating. 305 00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,048 Maybe I can talk some sense into him. 306 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,850 I already told you the plane is ready. 307 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,151 Why are you standing around 308 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,887 like a bunch of thick-ankled moms at Disneyland? 309 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,723 Oh, my God, Caroline, that joke was eczema-mazing. 310 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,259 Your wit, like your scalp, is bone-dry. 311 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,161 I'm so sorry, Caroline. It's just gonna be 312 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,530 another 15 minutes, I promise. 313 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:40,365 It's a personal matter. 314 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,234 I'm just having a lot of... 315 00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:44,336 and it's just doing, like, a whole... 316 00:11:44,789 --> 00:11:46,505 thing. 317 00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:49,074 Fine, but if you're not back in 15 minutes, 318 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,453 I'll have no choice but to report you. 319 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,012 What the hell with all the noises? 320 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,847 I don't know, but whatever. She's gone. 321 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,182 For 15 minutes. 322 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,617 That's not enough time to get to the Strip and back. 323 00:11:58,719 --> 00:11:59,751 That's why we're tag-teaming this. 324 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,173 You stay here and stall Caroline. 325 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,461 Nichole and I will go get Dave. 326 00:12:05,298 --> 00:12:06,616 Can you run in those? 327 00:12:06,617 --> 00:12:08,628 Are you serious? These are my gym heels. 328 00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,122 Is there another way to go? 329 00:12:15,221 --> 00:12:16,487 We're kind of in a hurry here. 330 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,623 Ooh, that's another con FOR THE LIST: traffic. 331 00:12:18,725 --> 00:12:20,224 Vegas has tons of traffic. 332 00:12:20,327 --> 00:12:22,226 Traffic? We live in Los Angeles. 333 00:12:22,329 --> 00:12:24,629 Yes, but our traffic has famous people. 334 00:12:24,731 --> 00:12:26,464 At any given time, you could get into a fender bender 335 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:27,632 with Steve Harvey. 336 00:12:27,734 --> 00:12:28,967 Okay, Ronnie, what is going on with you? 337 00:12:29,069 --> 00:12:31,636 Why are you so scared to move in with Bryan? 338 00:12:31,738 --> 00:12:33,258 Because things seem to be going great. 339 00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,707 Yeah, we're great now, but what about in six months? 340 00:12:35,809 --> 00:12:37,075 Hell, six days? 341 00:12:37,177 --> 00:12:38,876 You're worrying about things that haven't happened yet. 342 00:12:38,979 --> 00:12:40,878 And if there is a problem, you guys will figure it out. 343 00:12:40,981 --> 00:12:43,514 I won't. My family sucks at relationships. 344 00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:45,149 Growing up, I never saw a normal one. 345 00:12:45,251 --> 00:12:46,884 It was always a disaster. 346 00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:49,721 They all ended in divorce, jail, arson, 347 00:12:49,823 --> 00:12:51,889 and even worse, kids. 348 00:12:51,992 --> 00:12:53,491 Well, it doesn't have to be that way with you. 349 00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:55,530 I don't want to risk it. 350 00:12:57,087 --> 00:12:58,440 Guess you have your answer, then. 351 00:12:58,539 --> 00:12:59,739 Yup. 352 00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:01,510 I don't mean to eavesdrop, 353 00:13:01,626 --> 00:13:03,059 but if you're single now, 354 00:13:03,161 --> 00:13:05,058 I've got a great guy you should meet. 355 00:13:05,397 --> 00:13:07,064 His name is Jesus Christ. 356 00:13:09,672 --> 00:13:12,786 Oh, my God, this place is packed. 357 00:13:12,787 --> 00:13:14,485 How are we gonna find him? 358 00:13:14,587 --> 00:13:16,420 Captain Dave! Captain Dave! 359 00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:18,356 Captain Dave! Captain Dave! 360 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:20,091 - I think he's that way. - Mm-hmm. 361 00:13:20,193 --> 00:13:22,560 Captain Dave! Captain Dave! 362 00:13:22,662 --> 00:13:24,930 - Captain Dave! - Hey. 363 00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:26,370 Guys, what are you still doing here? 364 00:13:26,464 --> 00:13:28,364 We have to get Dave back to the airport. 365 00:13:28,466 --> 00:13:30,934 never interrupt a man 366 00:13:31,036 --> 00:13:32,936 during an epic roll of craps. 367 00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:34,671 - Yes, just don't do it. - Shh. No. 368 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,639 Are you, are you drunk, Colin? 369 00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:38,775 Shh. This isn't about me. 370 00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:40,977 It's about Dave... and me. 371 00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:43,279 It's about me and Dave and... just, the point is, 372 00:13:43,381 --> 00:13:45,448 every time I put my hand on the table and take a drink, he wins. 373 00:13:45,473 --> 00:13:46,526 So just watch. 374 00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:47,784 What time is it? 375 00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:50,186 Captain Dave time! 376 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,388 What time is it?! 377 00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:53,856 Captain Dave time! 378 00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:00,035 Hey, ladies! Aw, you made it. 379 00:14:00,134 --> 00:14:02,134 Dave, I am so glad you're having fun, 380 00:14:02,236 --> 00:14:03,636 but you've got to go fly the plane. 381 00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:05,170 Fun? No, it's way more than that. 382 00:14:05,272 --> 00:14:07,039 This is the most alive I've felt 383 00:14:07,141 --> 00:14:08,440 since Patty and I broke up. 384 00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:09,942 Look, Dave, I know you're winning a lot of money, 385 00:14:10,044 --> 00:14:11,376 - but... - No, it's not about the money. 386 00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:13,008 It's about this moment. 387 00:14:13,547 --> 00:14:15,948 Something magical's happening, and I can't walk away from it. 388 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:17,816 I got to stay here and see this through. 389 00:14:18,996 --> 00:14:20,299 I need this. 390 00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:22,232 Please? 391 00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:28,534 $20 on the hard ten. 392 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,633 Hard ten! 393 00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:34,046 Winner! 394 00:15:11,623 --> 00:15:12,683 Bernard! 395 00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:13,941 Shirley Temple Black. 396 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:15,676 Bernard, did you take a window 397 00:15:15,778 --> 00:15:17,444 to try and stall the plane? 398 00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:19,613 No. I was trying to take a seat belt to stall the plane, 399 00:15:19,715 --> 00:15:21,148 and the window just fell out. 400 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,717 This is a terrible airline. How are we not dead? 401 00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:26,120 Save it, Bernard. You don't have a pilot, 402 00:15:26,222 --> 00:15:27,621 you don't have a full crew, 403 00:15:27,723 --> 00:15:30,791 you don't have any more time. I'm calling this in. 404 00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:32,029 Caroline, wait. 405 00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:33,894 I'm truly sorry about what happened 406 00:15:33,996 --> 00:15:35,796 - with your boyfriend Steven. - Mark. 407 00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:38,065 We didn't do a lot of talking. The point is, 408 00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,409 I was wrong to take him from you. 409 00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:42,317 I should have respected what you two had. 410 00:15:42,318 --> 00:15:43,558 So, why don't we stop fighting? 411 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,579 If two boss bitches like us teamed up, 412 00:15:45,886 --> 00:15:47,420 we'd be unstoppable. 413 00:15:47,649 --> 00:15:49,115 Come through, Caroline. 414 00:15:51,312 --> 00:15:53,479 Burn in hell, you hairless cat. 415 00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:01,060 - What are you doing? - I don't know. 416 00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:02,562 I haven't thought this through. 417 00:16:02,664 --> 00:16:03,664 Alan, get over here. 418 00:16:03,732 --> 00:16:04,998 - Hey, Bernard. - Shut up. 419 00:16:05,295 --> 00:16:07,662 Now, stand here and make sure 420 00:16:07,764 --> 00:16:10,098 Caroline doesn't come out of the jetway, no matter what. 421 00:16:12,702 --> 00:16:14,078 I'm helping. 422 00:16:18,656 --> 00:16:20,155 Hey, what did I tell you? 423 00:16:20,257 --> 00:16:22,398 You had a bit of Vegas in you all along. 424 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,278 Not only do I have some Vegas in me, old friend, 425 00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,801 I've become Vegas. 426 00:16:25,829 --> 00:16:28,496 My body is equal parts smoke, liquor, strip-club fliers, 427 00:16:28,597 --> 00:16:30,564 and Guy Fieri donkey sauce. 428 00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:31,906 - Mwah. - Let me through. 429 00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:34,334 Let me through. Let me through. Let me through. 430 00:16:34,436 --> 00:16:36,036 Bernard, what are you doing here? 431 00:16:36,138 --> 00:16:37,070 What happened to Caroline? 432 00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:38,705 - I locked her in the jetway. - What? 433 00:16:38,807 --> 00:16:40,107 Don't act so surprised, Bakersfield. 434 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,009 At some point, every person in your family's been locked up. 435 00:16:42,111 --> 00:16:43,671 What the hell are you still doing here? 436 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,912 I'm sorry, Bernard, I got caught up in Dave's roll. 437 00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:48,215 It is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. 438 00:16:48,317 --> 00:16:49,750 Bernard, you made it. Get in here 439 00:16:49,852 --> 00:16:52,219 - and let me feel the burn. - Not now, Dave. 440 00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:54,688 You're supposed to be flying back to Los Angeles right now. 441 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:57,656 You're right, I'm supposed to be flying a plane, 442 00:16:57,657 --> 00:16:58,855 because I'm... 443 00:16:58,958 --> 00:17:02,426 Captain Dave! Captain Dave! 444 00:17:02,528 --> 00:17:03,727 Ronnie, stop it! 445 00:17:03,987 --> 00:17:05,586 You're the wrangler. Why aren't you wrangling? 446 00:17:05,688 --> 00:17:07,989 Bernard, this is no longer just about us. 447 00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:11,257 Earlier today, this man told an entire plane of people 448 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,361 that he didn't need love, and now look at this! 449 00:17:14,463 --> 00:17:16,229 He did this, and these people... 450 00:17:16,254 --> 00:17:17,307 they love him. 451 00:17:17,332 --> 00:17:19,265 Dave, they love you. 452 00:17:19,368 --> 00:17:20,667 You hear that, Bernard? 453 00:17:20,769 --> 00:17:22,569 Captain Dave! Captain Dave! 454 00:17:22,671 --> 00:17:24,371 - They love me. - Captain Dave! 455 00:17:24,473 --> 00:17:26,106 Captain Dave... 456 00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:32,380 I think I'm done. 457 00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:35,275 Sorry, guys. 458 00:17:36,005 --> 00:17:37,948 I've gotten everything I need here. 459 00:17:46,284 --> 00:17:48,164 Okay, Bernard, let's do this. 460 00:17:48,165 --> 00:17:50,582 We've got to free Caroline, beg for forgiveness, 461 00:17:50,607 --> 00:17:51,407 and get all these angry 462 00:17:51,432 --> 00:17:52,497 - people on the plane. - Got it. 463 00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:55,146 Bernard, didn't you say you locked her in the jetway? 464 00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:57,273 It got out. 465 00:18:00,401 --> 00:18:01,869 And it's taunting us. 466 00:18:05,906 --> 00:18:07,172 - Oh. - Oh, hey, guys. 467 00:18:07,274 --> 00:18:08,307 Guess what we just did. 468 00:18:08,409 --> 00:18:09,741 - That's okay. - I will not. 469 00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:12,177 Um... uh... so, we-we got our pilot back, 470 00:18:12,279 --> 00:18:15,514 and if it's okay with you, 471 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,482 we-we're ready to go now, Caroline. 472 00:18:17,585 --> 00:18:19,518 I'm gonna need 15 more minutes. 473 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,073 It's finally my turn. 474 00:18:26,694 --> 00:18:28,827 Well, we're in the clear, but it'll be a little while 475 00:18:28,929 --> 00:18:30,262 before the plane is ready to go. 476 00:18:30,364 --> 00:18:32,764 They're doing a floor-to-ceiling wipe-down of the front galley. 477 00:18:32,866 --> 00:18:34,433 So, I guess it wasn't practical to burn the whole plane, then? 478 00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:35,535 Mm. 479 00:18:35,603 --> 00:18:37,005 We are so lucky. 480 00:18:37,605 --> 00:18:39,504 Today could have gone wrong a thousand different ways. 481 00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:40,616 But it didn't. 482 00:18:40,841 --> 00:18:42,874 And when fate pulls up and offers you a joyride, 483 00:18:42,977 --> 00:18:43,977 you can't walk away. 484 00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:46,011 Yeah, but it was such a huge risk. 485 00:18:46,113 --> 00:18:47,393 Of course it was a risk, Ronnie, 486 00:18:47,448 --> 00:18:48,614 but if you don't take any risks, 487 00:18:48,716 --> 00:18:50,556 you'll miss out on so many good things in life. 488 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:51,883 And the more things you try, 489 00:18:51,986 --> 00:18:54,119 the easier it is to figure out what you really want. 490 00:18:56,890 --> 00:18:58,894 Let me know when Bernard snaps out of it. 491 00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,326 I saw every muscle in Caroline's back. 492 00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:16,975 Bryan. Hi. 493 00:19:17,077 --> 00:19:19,444 What are you doing here? I was just about to call you. 494 00:19:19,546 --> 00:19:21,113 Well, I hadn't heard from you today, 495 00:19:21,215 --> 00:19:23,048 and I saw your flight was delayed, 496 00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,383 so, in order to get through security, 497 00:19:24,485 --> 00:19:26,125 I bought the cheapest ticket I could find. 498 00:19:26,153 --> 00:19:28,053 Let me guess, Bakersfield? 499 00:19:28,155 --> 00:19:31,723 Bingo. But it was worth the $18 just to see you. 500 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,555 I was a little worried that you might be freaking out 501 00:19:34,663 --> 00:19:37,116 - about this whole moving-in situation. - Bingo. 502 00:19:37,117 --> 00:19:39,717 Look, I know that it's a big step in a relationship, 503 00:19:39,819 --> 00:19:42,057 so, if we're moving too fast, 504 00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:43,790 we can take it a little slower. 505 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,640 So, here's a key to my place, 506 00:19:46,665 --> 00:19:48,298 and you can come and go as you please. 507 00:19:48,477 --> 00:19:49,609 I'm not gonna need this. 508 00:19:49,712 --> 00:19:51,478 Oh. Well, that's harsh. 509 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:53,880 No, no, I'm not gonna need it 510 00:19:53,982 --> 00:19:56,116 because I want to move in with you. 511 00:19:56,939 --> 00:19:59,563 Look, I am so terrified that I'm gonna screw this up. 512 00:19:59,886 --> 00:20:01,919 But you are caring and thoughtful, 513 00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:03,101 and you love all my faults. 514 00:20:03,189 --> 00:20:04,255 I like to think of them as quirks. 515 00:20:04,357 --> 00:20:06,724 And that's why you're worth the risk. 516 00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:13,304 Oh, wait, I guess I will need that key. 517 00:20:13,403 --> 00:20:14,869 Actually, I'll need multiple copies 518 00:20:14,971 --> 00:20:16,371 because I will most likely lose it. 519 00:20:16,406 --> 00:20:18,306 Great. We'll make copies of the key I just gave you. 520 00:20:18,408 --> 00:20:19,874 - I already lost it. - Great. 521 00:20:19,976 --> 00:20:22,477 Then I'll change the locks to my house. 522 00:20:23,311 --> 00:20:26,779 Colin, you have the beautiful afterglow 523 00:20:26,881 --> 00:20:28,761 of a man who has just consummated 524 00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,650 his relationship with Lady Vegas. 525 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,788 Well, she certainly had her way with me. 526 00:20:33,988 --> 00:20:36,322 Oh, there's half a cigarette in my hair. 527 00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:38,390 At least you know you did Vegas right. 528 00:20:40,332 --> 00:20:43,038 Artem, thanks for taking me to the casino. 529 00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:45,139 You really helped me get my swagger back. 530 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,373 It's my pleasure, Captain Dave. 531 00:20:46,475 --> 00:20:48,141 What are you gonna do with all your money? 532 00:20:48,243 --> 00:20:50,610 Hey, you should buy a PT Cruiser. 533 00:20:50,712 --> 00:20:54,080 Imagine owning a car that people can only rent. 534 00:20:54,182 --> 00:20:55,749 I already know what I'm gonna do. 535 00:20:55,851 --> 00:20:57,751 I'm buying an engagement ring for Patricia. 536 00:20:57,853 --> 00:20:58,853 What? 537 00:20:58,887 --> 00:21:00,888 I thought today was all about getting over Patricia. 538 00:21:00,922 --> 00:21:02,656 Oh, it was, but as I was standing 539 00:21:02,758 --> 00:21:04,624 at the craps table, in the middle of all those people 540 00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:06,393 chanting my name, it hit me. 541 00:21:06,495 --> 00:21:07,661 I know I said I don't need love, 542 00:21:07,763 --> 00:21:11,264 but the truth is, I need love constantly. 543 00:21:11,366 --> 00:21:12,366 All the time. 544 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:13,600 And proposing to Patricia 545 00:21:13,702 --> 00:21:15,068 will get you that? 546 00:21:15,170 --> 00:21:17,404 Well, I'm pretty sure not proposing won't. 547 00:21:17,506 --> 00:21:19,906 Dave, I know we're all on a bit of a high from today, 548 00:21:20,008 --> 00:21:21,574 but this is a really big decision. 549 00:21:21,599 --> 00:21:22,653 Will you keep it down? 550 00:21:22,678 --> 00:21:23,810 I'm on the horn with my ring guy. 551 00:21:23,912 --> 00:21:26,077 Hey, Harry. It's Dave Pratman. 552 00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:28,083 I met another "the one." 553 00:21:28,107 --> 00:21:29,307 So give me the usual. 554 00:21:29,491 --> 00:21:30,415 Thanks, buddy. 555 00:21:30,686 --> 00:21:32,686 And Mazeltov, right back at you.