1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:03,430
_

2
00:00:05,970 --> 00:00:07,650
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!

3
00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:09,590
Oh-ho! Rock beats scissors. I win.

4
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:11,730
These aren't scissors, it's
how many months rent you owe me.

5
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,950
I was hoping it was you.

6
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,310
That's not how this works.

7
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:24,420
This is my boyfriend, who
called because he missed me.

8
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:26,730
Yes, that is totally
the reason why I called,

9
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,200
but also this.

10
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,199
Is there anything you can do about that?

11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,770
I'm sorry, I can't help.

12
00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:37,110
Jackpot's official position is,
"You do you. We've seen worse."

13
00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:39,170
Well, if this is what I have
to put up with to see you

14
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,510
for the next three days, it's worth it.

15
00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,390
- It's probably worth it.
- It is.

16
00:00:43,430 --> 00:00:44,860
I'm so excited. This is your first time

17
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,309
staying in L.A. with me.

18
00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:48,810
You finally get to see me in
my element, outside of work.

19
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,620
And once I peel off
these sanitary gloves,

20
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,180
it's all fun all the time.

21
00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:54,100
You're not wearing gloves.

22
00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:58,140
Oh, my God. I-I touched
the bathroom door.

23
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:06,970
Can you believe this guy?

24
00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:09,040
Jackpot Airlines.

25
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,380
Northeast-bound to Las Vegas.

26
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:17,580
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com

27
00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:20,869
Ah, thanks again for letting
Bryan stay this week, Bernard.

28
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:23,029
And, don't worry, we're
barely going to be home.

29
00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:25,180
I have a jam-packed
few days planned. Look.

30
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,470
I have a list.

31
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,580
"Paddleboarding"? "Hiking
to the Hollywood sign"?

32
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:30,570
"Yoga at Griffith Park"?

33
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,380
You don't do any of these things.

34
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,180
No, but they're things I want to do.

35
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,250
Okay, fine. They're things
I want to want to do.

36
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,480
Look, this week is a big
relationship test for me.

37
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:43,620
Bryan is going to see my real
life outside of this plane.

38
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:45,590
I don't want to give off any red flags

39
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:48,320
that might make him second-guess
our whole relationship.

40
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:49,760
Yes, like when I first saw Tristane

41
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:52,670
wearing flip-flops to
dinner. Slide away, child...

42
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:54,960
I'm just trying to put
my best foot forward.

43
00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:57,150
Honey, I get it, but
this ain't your foot.

44
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,440
A linguine tour? That's
not you. I mean, look,

45
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:03,110
this whole list is written
on an old Taco Bell receipt.

46
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:05,449
A 10:00 a.m. Taco Bell receipt.

47
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:06,690
They serve breakfast now, Bernard.

48
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,520
You had three burritos
and a cup of cheese.

49
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,630
Breakfast cheese.

50
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,040
Hey there, passengers.

51
00:02:13,110 --> 00:02:14,299
As we approach L.A.,

52
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,610
a little reminder... Next
time you're in Calabasas,

53
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,659
stop by Calabasics,

54
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,330
the destination for premium
business-casual ponchos.

55
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,690
Half blanket and half shirt.

56
00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:26,020
They're the beautiful biracial
baby of women's fashion.

57
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,390
Check out a sample on
our model in the aisle.

58
00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:37,680
How'd you like the plug
for your store, babe?

59
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,910
Loved it. Next time,
could you mention our new

60
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,520
Frances McDormand signature
collection of shapeless apparel

61
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,980
for middle school art teachers?

62
00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:47,360
Anything for you. I'll
call you when I land.

63
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,879
Hey! Can I keep this?

64
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,980
It hides all my problem areas.

65
00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:56,480
Yeah. Patricia has a such an
eye for sensible coverwear.

66
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,750
- Hmm.
- God, she's amazing.

67
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,570
Alan, can I tell you a secret?

68
00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:02,900
Do not blow this, Alan.

69
00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:03,940
Yes.

70
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,590
I think Patricia might be the one.

71
00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:08,180
- But I thought the sky...
- Is my first love? She was.

72
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,660
But let's face it, Alan,
that's just stuff losers say

73
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,050
when they're not getting laid.

74
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,040
Ooh, I've heard that's a good book.

75
00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:17,780
Ask me, did I ever read Joan Didion?

76
00:03:17,850 --> 00:03:20,620
Okay. Have you ever read Joan Didion?

77
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,760
Ask me did I ever read Joan Didion?

78
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,230
Did you ever read Joan Didion?

79
00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:26,620
No, I Didion't.

80
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,910
Hi, I'm Colin... and of course I did.

81
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:33,340
Colin, what's up?

82
00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:35,510
That's the third woman
I've seen you talk at today.

83
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,550
- You can't blitz on every down, man.
- I know.

84
00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:39,400
I'm just... I'm trying to put
myself out there a bit more.

85
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,320
You know, I haven't met anybody in ages,

86
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,070
and I can't keep holding out for Ronnie.

87
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,210
Smart move. And I'd lock
down somebody quickly.

88
00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:47,010
British men age like
that Hemingway quote...

89
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,010
"slowly, then all at once."

90
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,470
Ooh! Ask me, did I ever read Hemingway?

91
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,030
Do you want to die alone?

92
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,200
I think he's gonna... Oh, Bernard!

93
00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:01,660
I was thinking, and you were right.

94
00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:03,580
I want to show Bryan
the best version of me,

95
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,900
but none of the things I
planned were actually me,

96
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,620
so I talked to Nichole, and
she knew exactly what I needed.

97
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,639
- A new bra.
- Finally!

98
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,940
- Right?
- No! The other thing.

99
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,180
- A dinner party!
- Oh.

100
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:15,070
At my house? No, thank you.

101
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:17,920
Bernard, I need to do
something where I can be relaxed

102
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:20,120
and confident, and I cannot
spend the next few days

103
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:22,060
pretending I like going
to those art zoos.

104
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:23,050
Museums.

105
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,519
It'll be small and tasteful.

106
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,580
I promise. Just a few friends
that I want Bryan to meet.

107
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:28,320
All right, I will allow this party.

108
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,690
You may invite your gaggle
of Kelseys and Callies

109
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,720
and other girls whose names
pumpkin when they turn 30.

110
00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:34,190
Yay! We're gonna have a dinner.

111
00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,810
You still need a new bra, though.

112
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,320
This dinner party sounds
great. What time you need me?

113
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:42,470
Oh, I'm sorry, Dave, I'm trying
to keep this separate from work.

114
00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:43,750
Come on, Ronnie. Tonight
was gonna be the night

115
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:45,520
I ask Patricia to be exclusive.

116
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,920
I want it to be special and
in front of people required

117
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,519
to applaud because I'm their boss.

118
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,550
Okay. Dave, you're invited,
but please do not do that thing

119
00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:53,720
where you wear too much cologne.

120
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,890
It's not too much. It's too many.

121
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,050
I layer musk, citrus,

122
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,620
sandalwood, musk, musk.

123
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,860
Hey, Nichole. I waited all week.

124
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:08,679
Why have you still not
responded to my e-mail?

125
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,010
I didn't get an e-mail from
you. What did you send me?

126
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,320
A screenplay!

127
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:15,570
Turns out some of my
juices are creative.

128
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,020
- I've written a movie.
- Mm-hmm.

129
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,409
And, as a friend, I
would like you to read it.

130
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:22,040
I would be honored. Send it to me again.

131
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:23,080
Do you have my right e-mail?

132
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:25,750
Nichole@email.stripper.

133
00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:29,020
No. That's not my or... anyone's e-mail.

134
00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:31,520
Email.stripper@Nichole.

135
00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:32,850
That's even further.

136
00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:37,700
I can't wait for you to meet my friends!

137
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,120
Callie works at this
fancy Italian market...

138
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,739
...so you can talk about
how everyone mispronounces

139
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,010
"mozzarella" or whatever.

140
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,709
It's actually "moo-tza-rell."

141
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,079
Can you just give me one minute?

142
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,150
Yeah, I got to wash the
Jackpot off my hands anyway.

143
00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,220
Nichole! Kelsey and
Callie just texted me.

144
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,990
They're not coming. They both came down

145
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,020
with a case of greyscale.

146
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,650
That's a rare disease from a fake world.

147
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,120
What a terrible lie.

148
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,820
To be fair, it's the same lie I used

149
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:01,330
to get out of both their baby
showers, but what am I gonna do?

150
00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:02,960
They were my most interesting friends.

151
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,900
I needed them for cultured conversation.

152
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,030
Bernard, will you talk
to Bryan about cheese?

153
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,770
I will scream at Bryan about cheese!

154
00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:12,090
Wait, I have an idea. Colin?
What are you doing tonight?

155
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,279
Funny you should ask.
Some online pals and I plan

156
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,120
to debate who's the best
Doctor from Doctor Who...

157
00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:17,950
Instead, you should come
to Ronnie's dinner party

158
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,520
and talk about literally anything else.

159
00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:21,890
Oh, a dinner party.
The modern-day salon,

160
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,890
as it were... A meeting
of minds and mouths.

161
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,450
- Never mind.
- No, no, please let me come.

162
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,430
I'd like to come.

163
00:06:26,431 --> 00:06:29,170
Did I hear something
about a party of dinners?

164
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,300
I assume I am invited,

165
00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:33,649
because you can't spell
"party" without "Arty."

166
00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:35,950
Oh, I don't know, Artem.
I'm not sure it's your scene.

167
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,040
Yeah, right. I only swam across
two oceans to get to America,

168
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:43,440
so, yeah, I guess I'm not a
very interesting dinner guest.

169
00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:45,480
Okay, fine! You can come tonight, Artem.

170
00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:47,820
- Did you say Artem or Alan?
- Artem.

171
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,679
Okay, because it sounded
like you might have said

172
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,340
- Artem or Alan.
- It was Artem.

173
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,400
'Cause there's a lot of similarities

174
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,420
between Artem and Alan...

175
00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:54,860
You know damn well she said Artem!

176
00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:56,929
Okay, it's fine. You can come tonight.

177
00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,600
- Yes!
- You can all come.

178
00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:00,160
Just figure out what you're gonna bring.

179
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,760
Well, we have our guest list.

180
00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,710
- What are you doing?
- Calling pharmacies

181
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,530
to see if they sell Purell by the keg.

182
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,530
I have to admit I'm impressed.

183
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:17,800
You have hors d'oeuvres,
tasteful napkins,

184
00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:20,330
and you showered and didn't just
dump baby powder on your roots.

185
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,130
You see that, Bernard? I'm a
regular Barefoot Contestant.

186
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,310
Uh, will you excuse me?

187
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,969
You-You don't have to
drink Artem's wine.

188
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,700
- I've got fancy stuff.
- No, it's okay.

189
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:32,640
It's Diane Keaton's new wine.

190
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,500
Look, there's a cute little turtleneck.

191
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,710
Hey, did you ever see
Something's Gotta Give?

192
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:40,340
It's a wonderful movie about
Diane Keaton's kitchen greed.

193
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:42,550
No, no, no. That's It's Complicated.

194
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:44,310
Something's Gotta Give
is where she dates

195
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,750
her daughter's ex-boyfriend.

196
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:48,150
Oh, that is complicated.

197
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:51,090
No, no. It...

198
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,560
You know what? Just
pour me some more wine.

199
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,649
- All the way to the top.
- Good.

200
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:59,190
Hey! Welcome to my...

201
00:07:59,810 --> 00:08:01,129
Bernard's apartment!

202
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,680
Oh, what a smashing flat!

203
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,000
Good show, Bernard.

204
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,199
What is that? Why are you
playing up the British thing?

205
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,800
There it is. You brought a date.

206
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,540
Well, I wasn't planning on it,
but, uh, then Talia and I had

207
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,980
a cinema-quality meet-cute,
and, uh, here we are.

208
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,980
- Ah, where'd you meet?
- Just on an app.

209
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,920
Mmm, Tinder? Bumble?

210
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,810
Uber. I drove him here.

211
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:21,120
Mint?

212
00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:23,390
Thank you for your vote, Councilman.

213
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:25,350
As the Deputy Mayor, I'm
taking the lead on this,

214
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:27,210
and I don't forget my friends.

215
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,769
- Sorry about that.
- Ah...

216
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:32,210
We have a big vote tomorrow
about whether to start

217
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,680
watering the Calabasas
medians with potable water.

218
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,869
Some people just love
drinking from sprinklers.

219
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,820
Not me. I think all water's gross.

220
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,139
So, I've been meaning to ask.

221
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:45,660
We might meet some new people
tonight, and I wasn't sure...

222
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:48,180
You can call me your girlfriend, Dave.

223
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:51,350
Yes! I guess that makes
tonight our coming out party.

224
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:53,290
Let's show Bernard how it's really done.

225
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,740
Oh, I'm vibrating.

226
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,569
- Can you hold this one second?
- Uh, yeah.

227
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,560
Hey, you think tonight we
could just put our phones away

228
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:02,660
and... focus on us?

229
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:07,060
Absolutely, Dave.
Tonight, I am all yours.

230
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,370
Nichole! Do not keep me in suspense.

231
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,200
- Have you read the script?
- Uh-huh.

232
00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:18,630
Uh-huh... Hey, wait!

233
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:21,230
Can you tell me what
was your favorite part?

234
00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,380
- Well...
- Oh, yes, the well.

235
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,499
Oh, that is a good scene,

236
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,730
and I know just the well to shoot it in.

237
00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:29,850
What else did you like?

238
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,889
Artem, I have to be honest,
I didn't like any of it.

239
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:35,420
After I read it, I actually
deleted it off my phone

240
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:37,760
and then switched carriers
so it couldn't find me.

241
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:40,930
You read it on your phone?
Oh, that's the problem.

242
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,200
And it's not meant
for the little screen.

243
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:45,000
You must read it on the big screen.

244
00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:46,330
The screen wasn't the problem, Artem.

245
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,630
It didn't make any sense.

246
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,300
But it's based on my life.

247
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,340
There were werewolves in it.

248
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,440
Yeah, that was embellishment.

249
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,670
In real life it was just dog men.

250
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:55,840
Ah, I'm sorry Artem.
I need to steal her.

251
00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:57,370
- Yeah...
- Thank God!

252
00:09:58,110 --> 00:09:59,750
Um... Dave is here with your mom.

253
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:00,910
Does she still think we're dating,

254
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:03,420
because I have guests to
entertain, dinner to prepare.

255
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,390
I can't be a fake lesbian
on top of all that.

256
00:10:05,450 --> 00:10:07,020
Don't worry, I told her
we broke up a while ago.

257
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,090
Oh! Good.

258
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,360
I said your drinking was out of hand

259
00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:10,660
and that you were a selfish lover.

260
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,410
Well, maybe the drinking
just makes me tired.

261
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:14,820
Ronnie.

262
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:20,060
Not judging, but when
does the dinner part

263
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,220
of this dinner party start?

264
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,120
We're out of hors d'oeuvres.

265
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,680
Artem ate all the blankets off the pigs.

266
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,920
Now I'm full, and you are cold.

267
00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:29,110
We can eat now. I just
have to heat up dinner.

268
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,310
It'll take five minutes.
I got Blue Apron.

269
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,380
To be clear, do you think
there's a fully cooked dinner

270
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:34,980
in that Blue Apron box?

271
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,830
Yes. It's a gourmet meal
delivery service, Bernard.

272
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,160
Wait. Before you open
that, let me grab my wine.

273
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,230
Okay.

274
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:45,610
Proceed.

275
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,620
- What the hell is this?!
- Yes, this pairs very well.

276
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,910
You have to cook?! No!

277
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:55,440
I thought this came already prepared.

278
00:10:55,590 --> 00:10:57,830
Why the hell would I pay
to cook my own dinner?

279
00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,160
I don't have time for this.

280
00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,830
You are sleeping with a chef.

281
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,830
No. I can't ask him to help.

282
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:05,300
This-this whole thing was to
prove that I am responsible

283
00:11:05,370 --> 00:11:07,700
and sophisticated and...

284
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,050
I'm fine.

285
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:11,350
You go stall and entertain Bryan,

286
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:12,630
while I put all this together.

287
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,430
Stall? Ronnie, I don't stall.

288
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:18,400
When I entertain it's an
event, a sacrament, an occasion.

289
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,280
At worst, a moment.

290
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,610
Hey, Alan, can you give us a sec?

291
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:23,780
Patty and I are gonna take our first

292
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,680
official relationship selfie.

293
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,780
- It's our social media debut.
- Oh.

294
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:28,980
Aw.

295
00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:30,950
Hold on. Let me fix my hair.

296
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,550
As a public figure, I
have to look appropriate

297
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,100
and hide my hands so no one
Photoshops a penis into them.

298
00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:38,119
Ugh. Disgusting. We can
shoot a car into space,

299
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,030
but we can't think of a better
place to Photoshop a penis?

300
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,930
Oh, sweetie. Come here.
Get in this picture.

301
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:43,810
- She's a big hit with the base.
- Oh.

302
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,480
- Here we go.
- Yeah, sure.

303
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:49,220
- Hi.
- Hi.

304
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,910
Oh, Bernard! Come here, come here.

305
00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:54,990
He checks off a lot of boxes.

306
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:57,349
- What the hell am I doing here?
- Just smile for the camera.

307
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,940
Oh. Why didn't you say so?

308
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,820
I-It's hard to get all
four of us to fit.

309
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,030
Just... this way a little bit.

310
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,120
Perfect.

311
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:06,860
Nice.

312
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:10,060
- Your skin is incredible.
- I like the...

313
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,580
Oh, my God! What happened to the dinner?

314
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,090
The recipe was gonna take too long,

315
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:19,850
and I don't know what
to do with a game hen.

316
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,760
So I'm just doing what
we do in Bakersfield

317
00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:24,310
and turning a bunch of
things into a casserole.

318
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,760
Ronnie, that looks like
something already ate it.

319
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,380
I know. That's why I need your help.

320
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,790
Grab some of that food. Try
to make it look like a salad.

321
00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:34,380
Avocado, honey, oatmeal...
Where'd you get all this from?

322
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,320
- I raided your beauty drawer.
- My quail eggs.

323
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,870
I also raided your earthquake kit.

324
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:38,970
My preserved quail eggs!

325
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,540
Sorry, Bernard. Don't be mad.

326
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:41,500
Well, now I can't get mad.

327
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,350
I don't have anything
to smooth the lines.

328
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,950
Hey. Bryan, tell Nichole
what you just told me.

329
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,250
Please don't come into the
bathroom while I'm using it.

330
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,599
No, after that.

331
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:54,900
You see, I told him the idea

332
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:56,470
of my movie and he said...

333
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:58,390
Sounds interesting. Please get out.

334
00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:00,450
Interesting, like the movie Get Out.

335
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,020
Artem, I didn't like it.

336
00:13:02,090 --> 00:13:03,820
I thought friends were
supposed to be honest.

337
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:06,460
Friends are supposed to
focus on the positives.

338
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,600
Like when I tell Bryan,
"Oh, that's a nice shirt,"

339
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,800
but never ask, "Why stupid bracelet?"

340
00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:13,820
Come on.

341
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,100
I was just trying to pee.

342
00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:19,520
Hey, Patricia.

343
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,780
So we never actually got
to take that picture before,

344
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:23,220
if you want to take it now.

345
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,500
No big deal.

346
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,400
Full disclosure, I want
to. It's a big deal.

347
00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:28,360
Oh.

348
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:31,790
You're right. Let's do it.
Let's take it. Right now.

349
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,819
Um... Oh, my God. We
lost two more votes.

350
00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:37,790
My non-potable bill's not gonna pass.

351
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,510
I'm sorry. I have to deal with this.

352
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:45,780
I'll take a picture with you, Dave.

353
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:47,110
Shut up, Alan.

354
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,460
All right, two regular, one silly.

355
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,580
Okay, and this is my children's
book Fish and Chips.

356
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:54,320
Oh.

357
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:57,240
It's two cops, Carl
Fish and Wesley Chips.

358
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,660
That's so cute.

359
00:13:58,730 --> 00:13:59,960
Are you happy with the temperature?

360
00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:01,130
I can make it warmer.

361
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,220
I'm good.

362
00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:05,320
Now here they are uncovering
a cache of stolen art.

363
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:08,950
The twist is, you see,
that Chips is the fish.

364
00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:10,900
Oh, your battery's almost dead.

365
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:12,090
Here, I have a charger.

366
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:13,650
Oh.

367
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,380
Hey, Colin.

368
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:18,999
I don't want to be a bummer,
but I've been watching your date.

369
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,030
Are you sure you're her date,
and not still her passenger?

370
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,640
Yeah, of course it's a date.

371
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,070
What, do you see any
entry-level hybrids around here?

372
00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:28,070
Okay. But I'd check the
app if I were you,

373
00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,940
because she's being
tip-conscious level nice,

374
00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:32,240
and you're cute, but not
"pick up an Uber driver" cute.

375
00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,900
Thank you for the ego-bruising
concern, but I've...

376
00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:37,450
Tiny water?

377
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,040
Okay, Bernard, what do you think?

378
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,179
It needs more eye cream.

379
00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:45,669
Ronnie, we need to talk.

380
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:47,560
Oh, don't worry, Dave. Dinner
will be ready any minute.

381
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,510
No, I came to say we
have to delay dinner.

382
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:52,280
Patricia is still on the
phone. Tonight has been a bust.

383
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,710
You seem like you're really stressed.

384
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:55,220
Why don't you put all that stuff down

385
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,320
- and focus on me?
- Ronnie, quick question.

386
00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:59,520
I'm trying to log on to
my Uber account for, um,

387
00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:01,890
nothing, but I can't seem
to get a Wi-Fi signal.

388
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,360
Yeah. Bernard doesn't allow any
type of waves in the apartment.

389
00:15:04,390 --> 00:15:05,420
He says it's bad for aging.

390
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,510
Well, now we're eating the
last line of my defense,

391
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,040
so just put the cell
tower right on my face.

392
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,839
Okay, if you're not in
the kitchen helping,

393
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,820
- could you please leave?
- Ronnie! You have me sitting

394
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,450
next to Nichole, so I
need to switch seats.

395
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,619
What is the problem now?

396
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,919
She doesn't respect me

397
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,150
as a friend nor as an artist.

398
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,640
- Oh, so you're an artist now.
- Yes.

399
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,720
You can't spell "artist" without "Arty."

400
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,720
Fine. If you want to
be a baby about this,

401
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:27,700
then I don't want to
sit next to you, either.

402
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:29,200
Colin, will you switch seats with me?

403
00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:30,770
Oh, no, I'm sorry. I have a window seat.

404
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:31,670
I don't like the middle.

405
00:15:31,671 --> 00:15:33,340
Hey, Dave, why don't you deal with this?

406
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,170
I'm sorry, everyone. I
know you're all hungry

407
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,260
and want to get on our food,
but there's been a minor delay.

408
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,250
We're still waiting on Patricia
to come in from the hall.

409
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:40,650
Once she's arrived at her seat,

410
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,330
we'll have this dinner up and running.

411
00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:45,010
- No. There will be no delay.
- Um, Ronnie.

412
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,010
Oh, Dame Judi Dench!

413
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,760
Oh, no! Why didn't the
smoke detector go off?

414
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,170
Oh, I tampered with and/or disabled it

415
00:15:51,230 --> 00:15:53,900
- so I could smoke a J.
- Alan, weed? Really?

416
00:15:54,310 --> 00:15:56,910
The deputy mayor of
Calabasas is out there, man.

417
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:59,120
- Is everything all right?
- Oh, I-it's fine.

418
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,310
I have everything under control.

419
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:02,410
Is the smoke bothering
you? Should I open a window?

420
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,780
Ronnie, I really need that Wi-Fi.

421
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:13,900
Oh, everybody get out or we
are cancelling this flight!

422
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,730
Flight?

423
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:18,730
Oh, my God. That's what this is.

424
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,470
Bernard and I serving you while
dealing with your problems.

425
00:16:22,530 --> 00:16:25,440
Trying to manage Dave,
getting complaints about Wi-Fi.

426
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,640
Yeah, for normal reasons. A sports game.

427
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,389
I wanted to throw this dinner party

428
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:30,860
to show Bryan my life,

429
00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:32,930
and I guess this is it.

430
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,740
It's one never-ending flight.

431
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,680
Well, I have to put up
with that at 30,000 feet,

432
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:42,810
but I don't have to do it here,
and I can finally do something

433
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:46,000
that I have always
wanted and just leave.

434
00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:50,689
Ha! She thinks that was a dramatic exit.

435
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:52,820
This is a dramatic exit.

436
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,290
Bernie does it again.

437
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,550
Hey. Can I hide in here with you?

438
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,520
Artem's trying to lighten the mood

439
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,280
by acting out scenes from his movie.

440
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,330
It's an action musical,
in case you were wondering.

441
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,850
Still not sure what language it's in.

442
00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:16,760
I'm sorry about tonight.

443
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:20,080
I wanted to show you
this other side of me,

444
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,320
but I've realized I'm out of sides.

445
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,720
Right now, you get the
choice between two Ronnies:

446
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:27,190
the Ronnie who spends 60
hours a week in the sky

447
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,630
fixing other people's problems,

448
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:30,960
or the Ronnie so exhausted
from doing that,

449
00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:33,660
she can't even finish
this heartfelt whatever.

450
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,780
Well, let me finish
this heartfelt whatever.

451
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,580
Those are the only two Ronnies I need.

452
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:41,780
Oh, good, because we both like you, too.

453
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,160
Also, I was hoping to get
the recipe for that casserole

454
00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:45,610
to serve at my restaurant.

455
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:46,710
- Really?
- No.

456
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:47,810
No.

457
00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,430
Oh, I thought you would laugh at that.

458
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,260
But seriously, we need to figure out

459
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,300
what else to feed all these people.

460
00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:57,469
Dinner tonight

461
00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:59,230
will have an international flair.

462
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:02,540
Special thanks to Bernard
for allowing this many carbs

463
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,800
and saturated fats into his home.

464
00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:06,579
Yes, I've always enjoyed eating foods

465
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:09,180
that are given out for free
if a team makes free throws.

466
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,290
Well, I think it's great.

467
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,410
And don't worry, I'll
handle beverage service.

468
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,480
Oh.

469
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,280
I have to use the restroom.

470
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:17,110
Is there a specific way
you want me to go?

471
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,190
Oh, for...

472
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:23,750
Yeah, I'm just curious.

473
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,300
Have you ever been waterboarded
with non-potable water?

474
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,280
Welcome to my childhood.

475
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,109
- How did you manage it?
- You can't play games.

476
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,580
If you want to get anywhere with my mom,

477
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,340
you have to be focused,
direct and honest.

478
00:18:35,410 --> 00:18:36,850
Doesn't she still think
you're a lesbian?

479
00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:38,360
Don't be a dick, Dave.

480
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,170
Hey, Artem.

481
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:44,030
So, I'm really sorry about before.

482
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:47,330
Oh, Nichole, I'm sorry.
I-I know, I overreacted.

483
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,700
I asked you for your honest opinion

484
00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:51,440
and thank you for giving it to me.

485
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,040
Thank you for letting me read it.

486
00:18:53,110 --> 00:18:55,170
It takes guts to show
your art to somebody.

487
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,770
Which, actually, you inspired
me to show you something creative

488
00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,870
I've been working on.

489
00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:01,430
Uh, they're sketches

490
00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:03,109
from when I was interested in fashion.

491
00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:05,909
I've been playing with dress
designs. What do you think?

492
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:08,050
Uh, you want my honest opinion

493
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:10,270
or supportive friend opinion?

494
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,160
- The second one.
- I love them.

495
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:18,990
What is it?

496
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,210
Okay, look. Do you want me
in the front or the back?

497
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:23,520
That's not a euphemism.

498
00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:25,790
It's just, if I sit in
the front, this was a date.

499
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:28,670
If I sit in the back, it
was just a really long ride.

500
00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:30,400
No, of course it was a date.

501
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,050
I stopped charging you as
soon as you asked me in.

502
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,130
Fantastic!

503
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,210
So do you want to go back to your place?

504
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,140
Okay, just to be clear, are
you asking as an Uber or...

505
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:41,980
I'm asking as a woman who'd
like to take your clothes off.

506
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,620
In that case, I will take a mint.

507
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:47,740
So, you make dinner
for people every night.

508
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:51,170
Not even people...
strangers. That's your job.

509
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,019
Worse than my job, it's my passion.

510
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:56,480
Seems terrible. I think my
dinner party days are over.

511
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,770
Well, maybe you'll have better
luck with them at our apartment.

512
00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:00,450
What?

513
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,130
I've been thinking...

514
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:05,290
I want you to move to Las
Vegas and live with me.

515
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,440
Ronnie, I'm stepping out.

516
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,919
But if the doorbell
rings, please answer it.

517
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,270
It's my interior designer
Le Marque Bougelet.

518
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,180
He'll be burning everything.

519
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:20,590
Thank you.

520
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,900
Good news. Got the votes.

521
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:26,110
Ah, those hose water junkies

522
00:20:26,170 --> 00:20:28,610
are gonna have to pay for their
water, like nature intended.

523
00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:31,560
Honestly, Patty, I don't care
how portable your water is,

524
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:33,660
all I wanted was one picture with you,

525
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,360
and you couldn't even give me that.

526
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:37,519
I thought tonight was about
us taking a step forward

527
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,570
in our relationship.

528
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,640
Look, my job comes first.

529
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,640
Of all people, I thought
you'd understand.

530
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:43,640
You and the sky.

531
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,310
I'm ready to put the sky aside for you.

532
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:48,770
And I thought you would
do the same for me.

533
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,169
I'm sorry, I can't do that.

534
00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:53,410
I mean, I like the way
my life is right now

535
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,600
and how you fit in it.

536
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,740
I don't want to waste my time
being a co-pilot in your life.

537
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,270
I don't think this is gonna work.

538
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,330
Good-bye, Patricia.

539
00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:12,710
That was fast.

540
00:21:17,030 --> 00:21:20,399
Hey, Dave, she missed out on a
lot of fares tonight, so, um...

541
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,599
Who cares? Take me to
the nearest high school.

542
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,140
I'm gonna lie on the 50-yard line

543
00:21:24,210 --> 00:21:25,980
and talk about where it all went wrong.

544
00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:31,710
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com