1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,909 Where in the...? 2 00:00:02,911 --> 00:00:07,446 No, I'm sure it was... I swear, if that girl... 3 00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:10,516 - Lanaluakalani! - Yes, Father? 4 00:00:10,518 --> 00:00:12,985 Come in here this very instant! 5 00:00:12,987 --> 00:00:16,055 I tell you, this is the last straw! 6 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,795 - Pff. - Do not "pff" me, woman! 7 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,160 That child of yours has gone too far! 8 00:00:21,162 --> 00:00:25,242 I tell you, this time, I shall really punish her! 9 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,667 - You called, Father? - Where is it?! 10 00:00:28,669 --> 00:00:32,186 - Where is what? - The map... to the sacred tupua! 11 00:00:32,221 --> 00:00:35,607 - Tupua? - Oka atua, do not play dumb with me! 12 00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:39,010 You know exactly what I am talking about, child. 13 00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:43,348 - Now where is it?! - I'm sure I don't know. 14 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:46,217 And why would anyone want a map to some moldy old statue? 15 00:00:46,219 --> 00:00:48,186 Because of its magical powers. 16 00:00:48,188 --> 00:00:51,907 - Oh, that's just a silly native legend. - Do you even...? 17 00:00:51,908 --> 00:00:54,792 - We're natives! - You know what I mean. 18 00:00:54,794 --> 00:00:59,129 I know what you think I mean. I mean I... 19 00:00:59,131 --> 00:01:01,298 You know what I think?! 20 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,669 I think you made some sort of deal with this ese Mai fafo, 21 00:01:04,671 --> 00:01:06,855 - the German. - Whaaat?! 22 00:01:06,856 --> 00:01:11,476 Yes. And I think, in your profound ignorance 23 00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:13,510 of the awesome power of the tupua, 24 00:01:13,512 --> 00:01:16,646 - you gave him the map! - Whaaat? 25 00:01:16,648 --> 00:01:20,178 In exchange for enough money to go live among the papalangi 26 00:01:20,203 --> 00:01:24,445 in New York City again and open another... What was it? 27 00:01:24,470 --> 00:01:26,756 - Failed art gallery? - Oh, come on! 28 00:01:26,758 --> 00:01:29,460 There was this little thing called The Great Depression! 29 00:01:29,462 --> 00:01:32,295 Well, and you don't know anything about art. 30 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:35,198 - I do so! - Oh, please. 31 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,134 You thought the Dutch Masters were just a kind of cigar. 32 00:01:38,136 --> 00:01:40,554 I told you that in confidence! 33 00:01:40,579 --> 00:01:42,296 You have raised a fool! 34 00:01:42,321 --> 00:01:44,808 Because the tupua is a legend for a reason, 35 00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,443 and you have no idea of its power! 36 00:01:47,445 --> 00:01:51,247 And once that German snake finds it, he will be long gone, 37 00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,937 so I hope at least he paid you in advance! 38 00:01:56,218 --> 00:01:57,445 Excuse me. 39 00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:01,857 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! 40 00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:04,393 Well, if that sneaky little schnitzel thinks 41 00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:06,428 he's gonna flimflam Princess Lanaluakalani, 42 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,130 he has got another thing... 43 00:02:16,715 --> 00:02:18,514 Are you out of your mind?! 44 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,781 - Sacrebleu! - Oh! 45 00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:24,212 What the hell is the matter with you people? 46 00:02:24,214 --> 00:02:27,315 Ow! Well, I, for one, am starving, 47 00:02:27,317 --> 00:02:30,546 so please tell me you have oysters. 48 00:03:01,953 --> 00:03:08,125 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 49 00:03:10,993 --> 00:03:13,796 Who the hell taught you how to drive?! 50 00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:16,374 Me? Who the hell taught him how to drive? 51 00:03:17,485 --> 00:03:18,969 Oh, for the... 52 00:03:19,086 --> 00:03:22,061 And where the hell were you going in such a hurry? 53 00:03:22,086 --> 00:03:25,100 None of your beeswax. Wait. Where were you going? 54 00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:27,124 - None of... - We're searching for a sacred idol. 55 00:03:27,149 --> 00:03:28,327 - What?! - Goddamn it! 56 00:03:28,329 --> 00:03:32,061 - No, you can' I... forbid it! - Excuse me? 57 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,900 I forbid it. As princess, I forbid the looting 58 00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:39,938 of Mitimotu's cultural artifacts by you, you... Europeans! 59 00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:42,473 - Code for "white." - And what of it? 60 00:03:42,475 --> 00:03:44,686 And what color are your Germans, huh? 61 00:03:44,711 --> 00:03:47,012 Damn it, the Germans. 62 00:03:47,014 --> 00:03:48,946 - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey. Whoa, whoa. 63 00:03:48,948 --> 00:03:52,116 - Where do you think you're going? - To beat the Germans to the idol. 64 00:03:52,118 --> 00:03:54,710 No, we are gonna beat Archer to it. 65 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,355 - Archer?! - Yes. So get in line, sister. 66 00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:59,457 Oh-ho, I'm at the head of it. 67 00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:02,193 Why you little... Do something! 68 00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:05,563 I, uh... commandeer this véhicule! 69 00:04:05,977 --> 00:04:07,368 You what? 70 00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:19,936 Woohoo! 71 00:04:19,938 --> 00:04:22,973 All right! Enough fun. Now back to business. 72 00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:25,561 Ja, shooting those damn cannibals. 73 00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:27,944 - Remember, you promised we could. - Don't worry, men. 74 00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:31,272 We will kill anyone who dares to interfere with our mission 75 00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:33,678 to bring the ultimate power to the Fatherland! 76 00:04:33,703 --> 00:04:35,051 Yeah! 77 00:04:35,053 --> 00:04:37,587 ? It's a long way to Tipperary ? 78 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:40,756 ? It's a long way to go... ? 79 00:04:59,578 --> 00:05:02,845 All right, already. Come on! We don't need all this junk. 80 00:05:02,847 --> 00:05:06,235 - That crate is just gin. - And vermouth. 81 00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:07,694 Now move it, big boy. 82 00:05:07,719 --> 00:05:11,039 We can't let Sterling beat us to that damn idol. 83 00:05:11,321 --> 00:05:14,022 - That won't be too hard. - Goddamn it, bird! 84 00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:15,557 Because he's stuck in quicksand! 85 00:05:15,559 --> 00:05:16,764 - What? Where? - Really?! 86 00:05:16,789 --> 00:05:18,397 Quicksand. Pam, too. 87 00:05:18,422 --> 00:05:20,695 And I don't know how much time they have left. 88 00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:22,921 - Before...? - They die! 89 00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:25,428 Do you think it's enough time for us to toodle on over, 90 00:05:25,453 --> 00:05:28,364 grab the idol, and then come back and save them? 91 00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:31,132 - No! - Don't get chippy with me, bird! 92 00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:32,975 I'm with her. First we secure the idol, 93 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,043 - and then we can rescue them. - Exactly. 94 00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:36,782 For the love of God, woman! 95 00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:41,078 - Your son... is going... to die! - Oh, all right. 96 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,985 Take us to the damn quicksand. 97 00:05:43,987 --> 00:05:46,874 But I'll bet you dollars to donuts, they've already escaped, 98 00:05:46,899 --> 00:05:49,789 found the idol, and are just yucking it up! 99 00:05:56,935 --> 00:05:59,585 Don't! Don't say a word. 100 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,604 I'm mad enough at you as it is. 101 00:06:05,343 --> 00:06:08,282 I was gonna say I wonder what I'm gonna taste like. 102 00:06:18,953 --> 00:06:21,191 'Cause this whole crazy thing's kind of got me thinking 103 00:06:21,193 --> 00:06:24,762 about if I'd ever, you know, like, eat a person. 104 00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:26,363 And not in a starvation-type deal, 105 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,098 like the Donner Party or whatever. 106 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,466 That goes without saying. 107 00:06:29,468 --> 00:06:31,768 Your fat white ass is pioneer jerky. 108 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:34,975 I'm talking about where you voluntarily eat a guy 109 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,974 like he's just damn dinner. Or a woman. 110 00:06:37,976 --> 00:06:40,344 Ooh, or a teenage girl. 111 00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:41,978 But I wouldn't want her to get killed 112 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:44,038 just so I could eat her, so maybe... I don't know. 113 00:06:44,063 --> 00:06:46,850 What if it was one of these native girl's confirmation or whatever? 114 00:06:46,852 --> 00:06:49,522 So she gets a ceremonial bath, scrubbed head to toe, 115 00:06:49,547 --> 00:06:51,749 and then her whole body gets shaved. 116 00:06:51,774 --> 00:06:53,647 - Why...? - Shut up. Let me finish. 117 00:06:53,672 --> 00:06:55,585 But then, on the way to the ceremony, 118 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:57,421 this tender, hairless young thing 119 00:06:57,446 --> 00:06:59,921 has a massive yet painless brain aneurysm 120 00:06:59,946 --> 00:07:02,032 and falls into a vat of braising liquid. 121 00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:04,688 - Why the hell would... - Wow! 122 00:07:04,713 --> 00:07:05,686 - What the...? - Huh? 123 00:07:05,711 --> 00:07:07,874 You just described, almost word for word, 124 00:07:07,899 --> 00:07:10,406 what's gonna happen to you guys over the next two days. 125 00:07:10,408 --> 00:07:12,936 I mean, is that goose bumps or what? 126 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,850 - Who...? - E-Except for the aneurysm. 127 00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:17,149 - Who the hell are you? - I'm Noah. 128 00:07:17,184 --> 00:07:20,647 - Besso ekla baht! - Ek eklan oki. 129 00:07:20,672 --> 00:07:24,913 - Wait, you speak their language? - Uh, yeah, I should hope so. 130 00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:26,889 I mean, I've been here almost four years now, so... 131 00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:29,491 Four years?! So there's no way to escape? 132 00:07:29,493 --> 00:07:32,895 Um... Well, I suppose, I... Well, there's probably... 133 00:07:32,897 --> 00:07:34,496 Oh, gosh. I mean... 134 00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:36,702 - I don't know. - What do you mean 135 00:07:36,727 --> 00:07:38,694 you don't know, idiot? Haven't you even tried? 136 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:41,280 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not their captive. 137 00:07:41,305 --> 00:07:44,295 I'm doing my doctoral dissertation on the Mua Mua. 138 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:45,653 I'm an anthropologist. 139 00:07:45,678 --> 00:07:47,842 - Wh... A spider scientist? - What? 140 00:07:47,844 --> 00:07:49,177 That's an arachnologist. 141 00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:51,179 - Like you would know! - No, no, it is. 142 00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:54,872 - An anthropologist... - I know what an anthropologist is. 143 00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,676 - No, he doesn't. - Nobody does! 144 00:07:56,701 --> 00:08:00,301 An anthropologist studies human beings and their societies and cultures. 145 00:08:00,326 --> 00:08:02,036 The Mua Mua, for example... 146 00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:04,592 - Zakila gizona. - Ek ezan oki! 147 00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:06,260 ...are assholes. 148 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,442 Yeah, right? So then how 'bout it, man? 149 00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:09,863 - Help us escape. - Yeah. 150 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,176 No, no, no, no, no, no. I couldn't do that. 151 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,856 I-I'm here to document. I can't interfere. 152 00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:17,865 - What?! - Even after they ate your goddamn arm? 153 00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,823 Oh. Yeah. 154 00:08:19,825 --> 00:08:22,159 - Man, that was really... - Eggelak! 155 00:08:22,161 --> 00:08:23,760 Dongay emakume! 156 00:08:23,762 --> 00:08:27,763 - What is she saying? - That I taste like chicken. 157 00:08:27,765 --> 00:08:30,631 Which, to them, is, like, the worst. 158 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,075 - What the...? - What's that? 159 00:08:34,093 --> 00:08:36,733 Oh. Uh, okay. Uh, well, I got to go. 160 00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:39,109 Uh, maybe I'll see you guys later or maybe not. Okay, bye! 161 00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:41,240 - Wait, what was that?! - Nothing! 162 00:08:43,311 --> 00:08:45,147 I think it was something. 163 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,949 - No shit. - Yep. 164 00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:48,951 Well, if we get out of this alive somehow, 165 00:08:48,953 --> 00:08:51,498 we should definitely open a detective agency. 166 00:08:51,523 --> 00:08:53,790 Ooh! 167 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,826 Aw, damn, but we're not getting out alive, huh? 168 00:08:56,851 --> 00:08:57,905 Nope. 169 00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:01,196 Well? Where the hell are they, bird? 170 00:09:01,198 --> 00:09:04,799 I-I don't get it. They were right here, up to their necks in it! 171 00:09:04,801 --> 00:09:07,802 - I ought to wring your neck! - This was all just a ruse. 172 00:09:07,804 --> 00:09:09,718 - What? A ruse? - Oh, come on. 173 00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:11,206 - A ruse? - He set me up! 174 00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:13,908 This mite-riddled bird's just stalling us 175 00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:16,010 so that Sterling can get to the idol first. 176 00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:17,270 - Damn it, bird! - Seriously? 177 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,614 No! Whoa! First of all, I am... 178 00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:23,686 almost mite-free. And, B, I swear, they were right here. 179 00:09:23,711 --> 00:09:26,154 Oh, go eat worms. Come on, Reynaud, 180 00:09:26,156 --> 00:09:28,156 we can still beat him if we hurry. 181 00:09:28,158 --> 00:09:32,126 Look, there's boot prints coming up out of the quicksand. 182 00:09:32,128 --> 00:09:33,761 - Really? - No! - Ah, yes! 183 00:09:33,763 --> 00:09:36,430 And here's another set of boot prints. 184 00:09:36,432 --> 00:09:37,765 And over there, there... 185 00:09:37,767 --> 00:09:40,468 there's all these different sets of bare footprints. 186 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,803 Pretty muscular, by the looks of them. 187 00:09:42,805 --> 00:09:44,739 - Muscular? - And here, 188 00:09:44,741 --> 00:09:48,942 this trail is two barefoot men, carrying a load between them, 189 00:09:48,944 --> 00:09:50,644 probably on, like, a pole or something. 190 00:09:50,646 --> 00:09:52,479 See, they're, like, six feet apart. 191 00:09:52,481 --> 00:09:54,848 - That's about the size of a man. - Or a party sub. 192 00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,950 - Look, can we just... - Shut up! 193 00:09:56,952 --> 00:09:59,987 - Do you think it was...? - Yes! It was clearly Archer. 194 00:09:59,989 --> 00:10:02,874 And then here's a trail of four men carrying a much, 195 00:10:02,875 --> 00:10:05,725 - much heavier load. - Ooh, which I bet was Pam. 196 00:10:05,727 --> 00:10:09,095 Mon dieu, can it be Les cannibales? 197 00:10:09,097 --> 00:10:11,030 Oh, my God. 198 00:10:11,032 --> 00:10:12,899 Well, but since they're out of the quicksand... 199 00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:16,770 And about to be eaten! We have to follow this trail and rescue them. 200 00:10:16,772 --> 00:10:18,705 No. No, no. Uh-uh. 201 00:10:18,707 --> 00:10:20,940 As your princess, I demand we get the idol first. 202 00:10:20,942 --> 00:10:22,875 As whose princess? 203 00:10:22,877 --> 00:10:23,910 - Yeah, right? - Exactement! 204 00:10:23,912 --> 00:10:25,162 Et tu, Doudou? 205 00:10:26,623 --> 00:10:30,233 So we're just gonna go gallivanting through this deadly jungle 206 00:10:30,234 --> 00:10:33,264 because this dodo says she can see a trail? 207 00:10:33,289 --> 00:10:35,521 Do you seriously not? It's so obvious. 208 00:10:35,523 --> 00:10:38,334 Then let's go. Come on, Lady Baltimore. 209 00:10:42,873 --> 00:10:46,123 Ew, look! This guy has ringworm. 210 00:10:46,494 --> 00:10:48,426 So, where do you think everybody went? 211 00:10:48,428 --> 00:10:49,962 Who knows? Probably taking a vote 212 00:10:49,964 --> 00:10:52,531 - on what sides to serve us with. - Ooh... 213 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:54,366 But I'm not sticking around to find out. 214 00:10:54,368 --> 00:10:56,434 Well, unless you know something I don't... 215 00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:59,904 - What, besides everything? - Oh, hardy-har. 216 00:10:59,906 --> 00:11:03,708 Including, look, there's a piece of, uh, whatchamacallit. Ob-Obsidian. 217 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:06,506 - So? - So we can cut the ropes with it, dummy. 218 00:11:06,531 --> 00:11:10,115 If I can just scrooch down the pole, I can... 219 00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:13,037 - Get a splinter in your ass? - I'm not gonna get a... 220 00:11:14,821 --> 00:11:16,353 Goddamn it. 221 00:11:16,355 --> 00:11:19,390 We'll see how funny... you think it is 222 00:11:19,392 --> 00:11:21,392 when I leave you here. 223 00:11:21,394 --> 00:11:22,660 Oh... 224 00:11:22,662 --> 00:11:24,495 Does that mean we're not getting married? 225 00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:25,997 You know, first of all, that was... 226 00:11:25,999 --> 00:11:29,433 - I just wanted you to die happy. - Ha! 227 00:11:29,435 --> 00:11:31,135 And, two, I'm about this close 228 00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:33,103 to getting a new goddamn sidekick. 229 00:11:33,105 --> 00:11:36,740 - How is this Crackers's fault? - Wha... Not Crackers! 230 00:11:36,742 --> 00:11:39,410 - You. - You think I'm the sidekick? 231 00:11:39,435 --> 00:11:41,701 Yes, Lennie! 232 00:11:41,810 --> 00:11:45,011 - Well? - Cut me loose. 233 00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:50,150 - I will, but only because I choose to. - Well, bully for you. 234 00:11:50,152 --> 00:11:51,918 And, while you're at it, 235 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,187 you can leave one hand tied behind my back. 236 00:11:54,189 --> 00:11:56,589 - Why? - So I can whip your ass fairly. 237 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,925 Oh, my God, you are such a Lennie. 238 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,126 Well, if we get out of this bullshit... 239 00:12:01,128 --> 00:12:04,730 If we do, it's only because I unleashed the power of obsidian. 240 00:12:04,755 --> 00:12:07,592 You won't have old Pam to kick around anymore because... 241 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:11,270 Shh. Stop. Stop it. Stop cutting. 242 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,483 What? 243 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:17,576 - Is your dick hard? - No. 244 00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:21,881 Then what... is touching... my ass? 245 00:12:22,529 --> 00:12:25,050 - Also nothing. - Oh, for the... Ew! 246 00:12:25,052 --> 00:12:28,220 - No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait. - Dude, that is a hard dick. 247 00:12:28,222 --> 00:12:32,257 - It's not that hard. - Oh, please. I bet it hasn't been that hard 248 00:12:32,259 --> 00:12:34,426 since the time the Army checked you for a hernia. 249 00:12:34,428 --> 00:12:38,096 - I told you that in confidence. - Yeah? Well, I ain't your priest. 250 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:41,199 Speaking of hard dicks... 251 00:12:41,201 --> 00:12:43,935 I also told you that in confidence! 252 00:12:48,765 --> 00:12:51,465 Oh, don't flatter yourself, it was just a reflex. 253 00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:54,502 - Uh-huh. - An involuntary biological response 254 00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:56,370 to physical and visual stimuli. 255 00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:58,393 Well, then I hope to God this helps. 256 00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:01,612 - Ka-kow. - Yeah, that's... wait. 257 00:13:01,637 --> 00:13:04,237 - What's the opposite of stimuli? - That. 258 00:13:04,262 --> 00:13:08,024 It's not supposed to be sexy, it's protective. In case there's thorns. 259 00:13:08,049 --> 00:13:11,259 - Okay, Master Coconut. - Nobody gets that. 260 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,720 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think you're doing? 261 00:13:13,745 --> 00:13:15,118 Making piña coladas. 262 00:13:15,143 --> 00:13:16,782 What the hell's it look like we're doing? 263 00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:20,328 - Uhh... I genuinely don't know. - We're escaping. 264 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,931 Wait, what? No. No, you can't. I'll be punished. 265 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:26,600 - Not if you're dead. - Well, you say that... 266 00:13:26,602 --> 00:13:28,536 Hey, buddy, no shit, she will kill you 267 00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:30,876 - like an innocent baby rabbit. - Goddamn it. 268 00:13:30,901 --> 00:13:34,341 So what's the best way out of here? 269 00:13:34,343 --> 00:13:36,876 Well, that's the thing, there isn't one now. 270 00:13:36,901 --> 00:13:40,213 The conch is telling the Mua Mua warriors to prepare for battle. 271 00:13:40,215 --> 00:13:41,515 - What, why? - Well, apparently, 272 00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:44,617 a scout saw another group of warriors headed toward the village. 273 00:13:44,619 --> 00:13:46,619 What other warriors? 274 00:13:47,674 --> 00:13:50,907 I swear to God, if those cannibals don't have a bar, 275 00:13:50,932 --> 00:13:54,194 - I may literally die. - Oh, my God, at an oyster bar. 276 00:13:54,196 --> 00:13:57,682 I can pretty much guarantee they don't have either of those things. 277 00:13:58,917 --> 00:14:00,290 Savages. 278 00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:01,853 Well, you two idiots can stick around 279 00:14:01,878 --> 00:14:03,696 to find out and then get eaten, 280 00:14:03,721 --> 00:14:05,743 but I'm gonna go find that goddamn idol. 281 00:14:05,768 --> 00:14:09,009 Wait. What idol? You mean the tupua? 282 00:14:09,034 --> 00:14:11,678 - Whatever it's called, I... - How do you know where it is? 283 00:14:12,557 --> 00:14:13,649 We got a map. 284 00:14:13,674 --> 00:14:16,157 - Whoa. - A secret map, that is a secret! 285 00:14:16,182 --> 00:14:18,790 - Who's he gonna tell? - Oh, man. 286 00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:22,177 The tupua would be the greatest archaeological find of the-the... 287 00:14:22,212 --> 00:14:25,329 well, probably just the past couple of years, but still. 288 00:14:25,354 --> 00:14:27,048 Still what? You're not coming. 289 00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:30,071 - Oh, come on, I-I know the jungle. - No. 290 00:14:30,096 --> 00:14:32,865 I-I can read any native petroglyphs we might find. 291 00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:34,713 - No, I said. - I know how to get past 292 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,458 all the giant boulders and poison darts and stuff. 293 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:40,774 The... do what, now? 294 00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:42,454 - Yeah, do huh? - Oh, man. 295 00:14:42,479 --> 00:14:44,915 Yeah, the legends all say the tupua is hidden 296 00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:47,142 deep inside a labyrinth of shafts and tunnels, 297 00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,915 just packed with deadly booby traps. 298 00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:52,048 - So... - That's why you got to know your petroglyphs. 299 00:14:52,073 --> 00:14:54,689 Okay, change of plans, you're coming with us. 300 00:14:54,714 --> 00:14:57,022 Yeah! Oh, wait, h-hang on. Hang on. 301 00:14:57,024 --> 00:15:00,581 I-I don't, I don't have to wear one of those, do I? 302 00:15:01,328 --> 00:15:04,029 And can we stop and rest a while? 303 00:15:04,031 --> 00:15:06,720 I think my electrolyte levels are low. 304 00:15:06,745 --> 00:15:08,533 - Gin levels. - Also. 305 00:15:08,535 --> 00:15:11,204 No, I think we're getting close to a village or something. 306 00:15:11,229 --> 00:15:13,534 Look, there's a ton of footprints around here. 307 00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,974 Plus, this? 308 00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:22,413 Well, as long as we're close. 309 00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:25,064 Please, I can't leave without my dissertation. 310 00:15:25,089 --> 00:15:27,923 - Yes, you can, now come on. - It's four years of writing. 311 00:15:27,948 --> 00:15:29,721 Plus, I had to make the paper from scratch. 312 00:15:29,746 --> 00:15:30,790 - Ay! - Oh, shit! 313 00:15:30,825 --> 00:15:31,588 - Oh, my God! - Kekkozat? 314 00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,557 - What, oh, no, shh. - Kekkozat! 315 00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:35,426 - No. Shh. - Punch her in the face. 316 00:15:35,428 --> 00:15:36,860 - What? - Kekkozat! 317 00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:37,961 Punch her in the face. 318 00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:39,939 - Kekkozat! - I can't punch an old lady in... ow! 319 00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:42,599 - Dongay ekakume! - Whoa. 320 00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:44,657 - Yeah, not cool. - What? 321 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,235 - But you just told me to... - Lakundu! 322 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:49,792 Lakundu! Lakundu! 323 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,985 Now can we go, please? 324 00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,677 But my dissertation... 325 00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:56,579 actually had kind of a weak premise. 326 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:59,882 Ketak. Ketakalak. 327 00:16:01,652 --> 00:16:03,986 Batu! Batu, Batu! 328 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,292 Goddamn it! Eat a dick, cannibals. 329 00:16:09,294 --> 00:16:11,694 It's funny you say that. 330 00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:14,564 - Actually... - It's a figure of speech, Noah. 331 00:16:14,589 --> 00:16:17,087 - No, let him finish. - Oh, my God. 332 00:16:17,112 --> 00:16:19,673 I was gonna say that they don't eat the penis. 333 00:16:19,698 --> 00:16:21,510 The testicles, though... 334 00:16:22,385 --> 00:16:24,674 - Nok geziak! - Lakana. 335 00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:34,426 In there. 336 00:16:35,338 --> 00:16:38,204 Schmidt! Was dauert so Lange? 337 00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:40,222 Weil mein Schwanz so Lang ist. 338 00:16:40,224 --> 00:16:41,556 Nun beeile dich! 339 00:16:41,558 --> 00:16:45,042 Ja, ja. Komm runter, Junge. 340 00:17:02,971 --> 00:17:04,545 Seriously? 341 00:17:04,547 --> 00:17:08,516 - Scheisse. - Was, hast Du auf deine Schue gepisst? 342 00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:12,985 Schmidt? 343 00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,909 What the hell? Why did you do that? 344 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,353 - Guys? - What? He was gonna wipe them out. 345 00:17:17,378 --> 00:17:19,843 - Yeah, problem solved. - Guys. 346 00:17:19,878 --> 00:17:21,526 - What? - What?! 347 00:17:24,729 --> 00:17:29,260 - He wants us to come with him. - Gee, thanks, Noah. 348 00:17:29,285 --> 00:17:31,118 Oh, you're welcome. 349 00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:36,284 Zwei Männer, gehen und finden Schmidt. 350 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,910 Eh? Zakila koko? 351 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:42,988 He wants to know why you stuffed your genitals into a coconut. 352 00:17:43,013 --> 00:17:45,660 Because I hate this goddamn island. 353 00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:51,169 Zu Laguna Mua Mua. 354 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,804 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. He says you saved their lives, 355 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,090 so now you're friends of the Mua Mua. 356 00:17:56,115 --> 00:17:58,207 Batu baruka zu zaku. 357 00:17:58,232 --> 00:18:01,371 And that together, we will kill these white devils. 358 00:18:01,396 --> 00:18:02,433 Nik andu. 359 00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,999 - Uh, no offense. - None taken? 360 00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,776 Teko besta. 361 00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:08,767 And then, we'll have a huge feast. 362 00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:10,859 Ekari zim. 363 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:15,182 - Oh, my gosh, really? Wow. - What? 364 00:18:15,207 --> 00:18:17,819 Ah, well, he said even I could come. 365 00:18:17,844 --> 00:18:22,294 - Do you not normally go to the feasts? - Oh, no, no. God, no. 366 00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:25,269 They're... super racist. 367 00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:31,605 Well, guess you can find out what a human being tastes like after all. 368 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:34,287 Oh, man, and this is probably gonna sound weird, 369 00:18:34,312 --> 00:18:37,363 - but I could kind of eat. - A person? 370 00:18:37,388 --> 00:18:39,668 Not a whole person, asshole. 371 00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:43,414 But maybe, like, a drumstick? 372 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:49,906 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~