This is your captain.
As we make our final descent into Los Angeles,
we here at Jackpot would like to thank you for being a...
Son of a bitch!
You bunch of useless bastards.
How do you miss that shot?
Should you be doing that right now?
Got a lot of money riding on this game.
More than your car is worth.
You bet $80,000 on a game?
What? No, what the hell kind of car do you...
Somebody grab a rebound!
You know, if you want to focus on that, I can land the...
Stop talking. Every time you talk, the other team scores.
Damn it. Now that you're not talking,
the other team is scoring more.
- Talk again. - Um, well, wh-when I was young,
I-I saw my best friend get kidnapped from a movie theater.
I didn't say anything.
Come on, come on, shoot.
Shoot! Shoot!
Oh, God.
Did you win?
Jackpot Airlines.
Northeast-bound to Las Vegas.
Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com
Remember that announcement I made a few minutes ago?
About everyone closing their laptops before landing?
You're right. I didn't mean you.
You're different. You're special.
You're not understanding sarcasm.
I'm sorry, Bernard,
but my professor evaluations just came through.
And I only got one apple out of five.
I once got a staph infection at an Airbnb.
I still gave it two stars.
Well, you could think of it as a challenge.
And you have no idea how boring it gets
getting only good reviews all the time.
- Mm. - Especially when those good reviews
are covered by nothing but a thin layer of sweatpant.
I remember the good old days when people
would dress up to be perverts.
I once saw Gregory Peck walk into a strip club
in top hat and tails.
You know the worst part? None of the students even left comments.
How am I supposed to know what I'm doing wrong?
Hey. I say, it's better without comments.
Hearing the truth never helps.
I'll give you example.
Hey, you have weird neck,
and you gave it to baby.
You see?
That doesn't make it better.
Thank you for flying Jackpot.
Thanks. Oh. Wait, no, no, no, no, no. That's not garbage.
My life is in here.
I got evicted from my apartment
and only had ten minutes to pack.
This is everything I own worth keeping.
Oh, Ronnie. You continue to teach me that "sad"
is a diamond with infinite facets.
- How did you get yourself evicted? - Well...
Instead of focusing on the negative,
they could've just been happy I'm trying to quit smoking.
I wish it was 2005, so I could call you a hot mess.
I mean, I can tell how many glasses of wine
you had last night just by looking at you.
Three.
Oh, girl, and it was boxed.
Actually, it was canned.
Bernard, that's brilliant.
That's the kind of insight I need.
Could you come to my class and tell me
what's wrong with my teaching?
I need your brutal but cheeky honesty.
No, don't help him. Help me.
Okay, you have the posture of a Disney witch.
No, not more insults.
I need somewhere to stay until I find a new apartment.
Okay, fine. You can stay with me. Briefly.
And you, King's Speech.
I'll come to your class and rip you apart.
do you have a family history
of insecurity and depression?
Well, I'm British. So, yes. Yeah.
Hey, Captain Dave.
Captain Dave!
Run to my voice.
Captain Dave.
Oh, hey, Artem.
I didn't see you there.
Oh, that was a tough loss.
You know, I wish everyone could be winners,
but then there would be no one
that owed me money.
By the way, you owe me money.
You know what? I don't have it on me or near me.
I will get it the day after today.
- Tomorrow? - Deal.
Just tell me where you live.
I'll come, get money.
I'm actually flying out to Wyoming, but don't worry,
I'll let you know as soon as I'm back in town.
Oh, here's my ride.
Say hello to Wyoming.
Of all the Tetons, they have the grandest.
Hi, roomie.
Here are the house rules.
No shoes on the Bowron sheepskin,
pillows are decorative unless otherwise noted,
and your bathroom is the Bristol Farms down the street.
This is the whole list.
I didn't know they made a font this small.
6:00 is kimono hour. If you don't have a kimono,
you'll be rented one at a competitive rate.
I think I have one of those.
That is a sari.
What are you trying to pull?
Okay. So lots of rules.
But that's okay, I can handle this.
Anything else I should know?
Yes. Never... no matter what you see, what you hear...
Never, ever, open that red door.
So, welcome, girl.
Oh, hey, Artem, I know I said I'd be back soon,
but I'm still in Yellowstone.
Three, two, one.
Wow, that's a reliable geyser.
- Well, got to go. No... - reception.
Ronnie.
Hands off, I have Hep C!
I'm sorry, that's a little technique
I learned at a self-defense class.
Did you sleep here?
What happened to staying with Bernard?
It just didn't work out.
Ronnie.
Was I not clear?
So we mutually agreed to part ways.
It was just so many rules, and rules are for work, you know?
When I get home, I just want to relax and open any door I want.
Well, you can't stay here. Sleeping in places like this
is probably how you got Hep C in the first place.
No, I don't, I don't actually have...
Never mind, I'll be fine.
When I'm in L.A., I'll sleep here,
and on layovers, Jackpot puts us up in a hotel anyway.
Lots of flight attendants do it, just look at Mernine.
This is my favorite episode
- of Friends. - Oh, hey, Mernine.
Look, I hate seeing you like this.
- And as your mentor... - You're not my mentor.
It's my job to help you tap into your potential.
So I'm gonna make you an offer
I've never extended to anyone before.
I'm inviting you to stay with me
until you get back on your feet.
Thank you, but I'm fine.
This place isn't that bad.
I have a roof over my head, a comfortable couch.
Mernine is 34 years old.
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Thank you for flying Jackpot.
And so the principle of opportunity cost,
as demonstrated very clearly in this next slide is...
Why are the lights on?
What's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on. You.
And on and on and on and on.
You bored everyone out of here.
Well, not everyone.
- Thank you for staying, Alex. - Oh.
It was too dangerous to leave with the lights off.
I thought about it. Thought about it a lot.
So how did I do?
Give it to me straight.
I'm gonna start with what you did right.
You asked me to come here.
That's it.
Okay, that can't be it.
Come on, this is a compliment sandwich situation,
I'm assuming. There's gonna be more at the end?
This sandwich is open-faced. You're so dull.
You're like a textbook that made a wish to become a real boy.
Well, what do I do?
I mean, I need your help. Improve me.
Sorry, I don't build people up... I just tear 'em down.
But I do know someone who's very good with men
and up for the challenge.
Who's horny for sex-onomics?
That's "economics."
Are you serious right now?
Thanks again for letting me crash with you, Dave.
You don't have to thank me, Ronnie...
That's what I'm here for.
That and Herbalife supplements.
It worked for me... It can work for you.
But we'll get to that later.
Hey, you know what, I'm actually not parked in this lot.
Do you want to just give me your address
- and I can meet you there? - No need.
We're already here.
I don't understand.
This is my home.
Welcome to...
Parking Lot B.
So we've got a ping-pong table and dining patio.
There's a fire pit over there. And that's Ryshard.
He's a beautiful theremin player.
Well, we're guessing. None of us heard a theremin before.
And that little honey right there
is my place.
Her name's Lucy.
The trailer, not the mermaid.
The mermaid's name is Seayoncé.
Wait, this is really where you live?
In a trailer park in an airport parking lot?
Trailer park? Please.
Parking Lot B is a trailer aviation community.
It's our sanctuary.
Everyone has a story of how this place saved them.
For me, it pulled me out of the rubble of my third marriage.
Yeah, yeah, it does have a FEMA vibe.
And the people here are the finest you'll ever meet.
We have a true kinship, like a group of teenagers
who accidentally killed a man last summer.
Captain D in the place to be!
Hey! Craig and Danny.
They're structures mechanics for American
and two damn fine carpenters.
And that cool kitten is Hillary Eileen.
She's a customer service agent for Spirit,
but around here, she's known as our chief vibe officer.
How's the vibe today, Hillary Eileen?
- Chill. - You're damn right it is.
Oh, you hear that?
That's Manny's drum circle.
Gonna be some fire on the mountain tonight.
Okay, uh, you know what, Dave,
this-this all seems really, uh, interesting,
but I just... I just don't know
if this place is for me!
- I mean, it's not really... - Sorry.
I missed that.
You have to time your talking to the flyovers.
You'll pick up on it eventually.
It happens every three minutes.
I was saying this is really weird,
and I'm just gonna go back to the crew lounge.
Mernine's making a corned beef for dinner.
I was skeptical at first, too.
But that was before I realized what this place is really about.
Freedom.
You don't have to worry about anyone giving you a list
of rules here, because there are no rules.
In Lot B, we switch our lives
to "airplane mode."
That actually does sound pretty good.
So, what do you say we head over to Manny's Winnebago
for a Craig-blown glass
of Cheryl's homemade wine?
Shoo! Shoo!
I love Parking...
Lot B!
Before I can teach you anything,
I need to know what I'm working with.
So get up here, pretend it's your class,
and show us what you've got.
Okay. Ooh!
Hello, class...
- I'm gonna stop you right there. - Thank you. That was torture.
I'm sorry, no offense, I don't see how you can help me.
I mean, we work in... let's just say vastly different fields.
And I don't doubt your ability to command an audience.
But you do have the advantage of being...
What's the word... naked.
So? Every girl on that stage is naked. Sit down.
Who can tell me the difference between a girl
who makes one-dollar tips and a girl who makes ten-dollar tips?
Scars.
Literal and emotional.
Confidence.
The ten-dollar girls believe in themselves enough
to take chances.
So tell me, are you a one-dollar stripper
or are you a ten-dollar stripper?
- I suppose I'm a ten-dollar stripper. - No.
Yeah, you're right. I'm a one-dollar stripper.
- No. - Well, what do you want me to say?
I want you to say you're a $20 stripper.
Well, that's not fair. That wasn't one of the options.
Say it! Say "I'm a $20 stripper!"
I'm a $20 stripper!
- Do you believe it?! - I don't know!
- Louder! - I am a $20 stripper!
Good.
Now we can begin.
Excuse me.
Are you guys gonna be using this room for a while longer?
'Cause, uh, we're still trying to study.
News flash, study group, nerd chic is over.
Lovable losers are just losers again.
Wha...?
Ronnie, we need to talk.
I'm glad you're embracing Parking Lot B.
And we're all especially impressed how quickly
you picked up timing the...
flyovers.
- But as your mentor... - Not my mentor.
Fine, then as your friend and as your mentor,
I'm saying you have to take it down a notch.
What are you talking about?
All right, let's start with Danny and Craig.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about sexual liberation.
But they are brothers.
And you did make out with both of them.
And, again, brothers.
In my defense, I thought they were the same person.
Which brings us to your drinking.
Look at this.
The life vests are meant to serve four.
And what about Hillary Eileen's garden?
All those pigeons cleaned it out.
It's a garden... it grows back.
It's seasonal, Ronnie.
We won't see gorgeous tomatoes like that till next harvest.
I think we need to set some guidelines.
Oh. So, rules.
No. Guidelines.
Lot B doesn't have rules.
And will you cover up?
There are children landing in this flight path.
You know what?
You sold this place like it was a paradise
where we could do whatever we want,
and now you're getting pissed off just because
I'm having a little fun. I mean, what's the big deal?
The big deal is that I vouched for you,
and now you're taking advantage of my generosity.
Everything that you do reflects back on me.
What are you talking about?
None of this affects you.
Captain David, you lied to me!
Artem. How do you know where I live?
Oh, Ronnie posted many party pictures on Instagram,
proving you never went to Yellowstone.
No, you tried to disappear
like the frown on my face when I see a bubble.
You put this on Instagram?
I told you, we live off the grid.
We switch our lives to "airplane mode."
I thought that was a metaphor.
I don't speak in metaphors. They confuse me.
If you're not gonna pay me my money,
I'm gonna take some items from your "Windy-bagel."
C'mon Artem. I'll get your money to you in a few days.
Yeah, until you do, I'm gonna hold onto your food TV.
What have you done?
This was supposed to be our place away from groundos,
especially groundos I owe money to.
How was I supposed to know that? You can't blame this on me.
Ronnie, you have to choose.
Which one of us do you like more?
Okay, this one you can blame on me.
She clearly likes me more. We made out first.
Which means you weren't enough for her.
Okay, okay, you guys.
- You guys, it's all right. - Also,
I'm taking your watch, and also your milk,
so I don't have to stop on my way home.
It's not fair!
Mom said I get the next girl.
Fellas, cool it. Come on.
My theremin-ing hand... I think it's broken.
This is a disaster.
Hillary Eileen, what's the vibe?
- Harsh. - Oh, no.
This is the first time it's ever been below dank.
You know what? You can have her.
- I am out of here! - Craig, wait.
See?
It fixed itself.
I know a guy who can patch that right up.
This is all your fault, Dave.
Why would you bring her here?
I think it's time for you to leave.
Is he ready?
I don't know.
We just went over a few things, but I threw a lot at him.
Ladies and gentlemen,
today's class is gonna be a little different.
So sit back, and let Professor Colin...
stimulate...
your brain.
"will trickle down to the rest of the market."
But it doesn't, does it?
Huh? You're a bad little textbook, aren't you?
Oh, yeah. You're bad.
And the danger of too much growth
is the bubble... bursts.
And when supply drops...
Oops.
To meet demand, prices will slowly...
rise.
And what's the best way to visualize
the central limit theorem?
Oh. Oh.
I'm gonna make you wait for it.
It's a bell curve!
And when Adam Smith talked about the "invisible hands,"
what two theories did that inspire?
Creative destruction and, um...
Come on, Jared. You can get there.
The invisible hands, manipulating the market,
working the knots out of the market...
Spontaneous order!
Oh, how I miss the theatre.
At Grapefruits, we ring a cowbell
any time that happens.
Hey, Ronnie, look at this.
Captain Dave gave me a greeting card
with a picture of an apology cat.
Makes me feel bad for yelling at him.
Now I am apology cat.
Did he also give you the rest of the money he owes you?
You are completely missing the point.
- Tough week? - Yeah.
What happened to you?
Inadvertently made a student sexually climax. You?
Got kicked out of Dave's perfect society for no reason.
Really? No reason?
Really? Inadvertently?
I guess I got a little out of control.
Dave tried to do something nice for me,
and I completely screwed it up for him.
So? What are you gonna do now?
I know, I know.
Put that judgmental eyebrow away.
Captain Dave, it's Ronnie.
Come on, open the door.
I'm not leaving until you talk to me.
_
Hey, why did you turn on the...?
- Saw that coming. - Not cool.
I bet you've got five apples now.
Indeed, but I do feel kind of dirty.
That's what happens when you dance the day shift.
But if it makes you feel better,
I'm really happy I came to your class,
even if it meant turning down that guy
who offered me a grand to sit by his pool and eat a hamburger.
But, hey, I guess $1,000 is my opportunity cost, right?
Wait! What did you just say?
Oh, some short guys pay pretty girls to...
No, no, the other thing.
That is the perfect example of opportunity cost.
Did you learn that from my class?
Yeah. I'm thinking
about taking an economics class next semester.
Good for you, Nichole.
And I'm glad I got through to one person,
even though she's not my student.
And another positive thing...
Those moves I taught you can be used outside the classroom.
Okay. Like in the hallway?
Like in the bedroom.
I don't teach a class in the bedroom.
Oh, my God, are you serious right now?
Captain Dave?
- We're not here. - But we are.
Come on, Dave. Let me in!
Hello.
So, uh... how's Lot B?
Well, we replanted the garden,
and Hillary Eileen says the vibe is back up to "bueno,"
so that's something.
Hey, look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for any of that to happen.
I just wasn't thinking.
I get it, Ronnie. You spend half your life
confined to a 500 square foot tube, breathing recycled air.
So you want to spend that other half running naked
through the streets, screaming, "I am alive."
Yeah. That sounds kind of right.
Hey, Alan, do you mind if I...?
When I was a young pilot, on my days off,
I used to go to restaurants
and send back perfectly-prepared food just to feel.
I had a massive cocaine problem.
So, how did you get over that?
The trick is to give yourself just a little taste sometimes
to keep the demons away.
No. You learn your limits.
You find a balance.
So, you're saying I grow up.
No, you're saying it.
Which is better. And as your mentor...
Today, in this very specific situation,
I'll give it to you.
You're welcome back at Parking Lot B.
We had a vote, and unanimously invited you back.
Well, not unanimous.
Craig abstained because he's still missing.
Thank you, Dave.
But if I really want to change,
I know where I need to go.
Before you say anything, I brought my own kimono.
That's a barbecue grill cover.
But at least you're trying. Get in.
Where's the red door?
What red door, Ronnie?