1 00:00:11,718 --> 00:00:14,086 - What? - No. Nothing. 2 00:00:14,087 --> 00:00:16,150 Flies like a dream. 3 00:00:18,222 --> 00:00:21,506 Well, she did before you crashed her into a goddamn street 4 00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,881 anybody with the sense God gave a goddamn duck 5 00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:25,996 could tell was nowhere near wide enough. 6 00:00:25,998 --> 00:00:29,333 - Ugh, ducks. - Don't start your racist bullshit. 7 00:00:29,334 --> 00:00:31,167 - You know I'm right. - And I'm in no mood. 8 00:00:31,169 --> 00:00:32,637 In some kind of mood. 9 00:00:32,638 --> 00:00:34,670 Yeah, you want to guess why? 10 00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:36,873 - Sterling? - Like in general, or... 11 00:00:36,874 --> 00:00:38,008 - Bird. - Sterling! 12 00:00:38,009 --> 00:00:41,011 What?! Sorry. What can I do for you? 13 00:00:41,012 --> 00:00:44,347 Well, you can start by watching that tone, mister. 14 00:00:44,349 --> 00:00:47,217 And then, you can tell me why I'm looking at the package 15 00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:49,719 you were supposed to fly to Tahiti today. 16 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,859 Oh, did I not do that? 17 00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:56,968 Do I need to remind you just who exactly owns that flying crate? 18 00:00:57,895 --> 00:01:02,231 So wherever you idiots are, and whatever idiocy you're up to... 19 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:03,634 - I... - I don't think idiots 20 00:01:03,635 --> 00:01:05,801 know how to find a million dollar treasure. 21 00:01:05,803 --> 00:01:07,137 A what?! 22 00:01:07,138 --> 00:01:08,638 What'd she say, what treasure? 23 00:01:08,639 --> 00:01:11,796 What are you two up to? Sterling? 24 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,742 Because you're both company employees 25 00:01:13,744 --> 00:01:17,879 using company resources on company time, and so, legally, 26 00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:21,283 anything of value, be it monetary or otherwise, 27 00:01:21,285 --> 00:01:23,752 that you may happen to make, find, stumble upon, 28 00:01:23,754 --> 00:01:25,154 or otherwise obt... 29 00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:30,158 I, uh, probably shouldn't have said anything, huh? 30 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,762 - Yeah, but was that necessary? - No, Crackers, it wasn't. 31 00:01:33,764 --> 00:01:36,297 In fact, it was wildly unnecessary. 32 00:01:36,299 --> 00:01:39,600 Like radish roses, or Pam running her fat mouth. 33 00:01:39,602 --> 00:01:41,770 - I like radish roses. - Right? 34 00:01:41,771 --> 00:01:43,272 - Typical. - Of what? 35 00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:45,740 Of assholes. Now get out your shitty map 36 00:01:45,741 --> 00:01:47,376 and get us to that goddamn idol 37 00:01:47,377 --> 00:01:49,544 so I can lie to my mother about finding it, 38 00:01:49,546 --> 00:01:53,113 and begin living a life of luxury where she can't find me. 39 00:01:53,115 --> 00:01:56,016 Okay. God. And it's not a shitty map. 40 00:01:56,018 --> 00:01:57,185 It'll take us right to the idol. 41 00:01:57,186 --> 00:01:59,874 Just set old Lucy down in Dead Man's Cove. 42 00:01:59,909 --> 00:02:02,674 Seriously? What, did somebody have dibs 43 00:02:02,675 --> 00:02:07,898 - on Foreshadowing Lagoon? - Hmm. It doesn't say. 44 00:02:40,028 --> 00:02:44,552 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 45 00:02:46,107 --> 00:02:47,574 I just want to reiterate 46 00:02:47,599 --> 00:02:50,878 that I think it was a pretty bad idea to shoot the radio. 47 00:02:50,903 --> 00:02:53,007 Jesus, talk about foreshadowing. 48 00:02:53,009 --> 00:02:55,042 Yeah, or don't. In fact, how about you two 49 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,757 don't talk about any... 50 00:02:56,782 --> 00:03:00,851 - What the hell was that? - Maybe howler monkeys? 51 00:03:03,022 --> 00:03:05,056 Hopefully howler monkeys? 52 00:03:05,058 --> 00:03:09,126 Yeah, except howler monkeys only live in Central and South America. 53 00:03:09,128 --> 00:03:10,762 Not only. Monkeys live everywhere. 54 00:03:10,763 --> 00:03:11,930 - No, they... - Shut up. 55 00:03:11,931 --> 00:03:15,332 One time, I saw a monkey in a bar, in Paris, France, Europe. 56 00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,400 - Wha...? - Dressed as a teeny tiny waiter. 57 00:03:17,402 --> 00:03:19,997 Well, then I obviously stand corrected. 58 00:03:21,039 --> 00:03:24,041 - Yeah. Like an idiot. - I'm sorry? 59 00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:26,910 - Hello. Breakfast? - Oh, do tell. 60 00:03:26,912 --> 00:03:29,079 I will have a crispy golden Belgian waffle, 61 00:03:29,081 --> 00:03:30,947 drizzled with melted Belgian chocolate, 62 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,783 with a side of Belgian endive. 63 00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:35,685 And I feel like I'd feel a lot better 64 00:03:35,687 --> 00:03:37,553 if you were maybe writing this down. 65 00:03:37,555 --> 00:03:40,123 No need, that's just The King Leopold. 66 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:43,263 Really? That's, like, a dish you have? 67 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:49,131 Oh, sarcasm. Well, then I'll just have champagne. 68 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,301 - Fresh out. - Can you check again? 69 00:03:51,302 --> 00:03:53,202 Or, I could have the Germans rip up 70 00:03:53,204 --> 00:03:55,528 the walls and floors helping you look? 71 00:03:56,598 --> 00:04:01,872 - What kind? - Mm... most expensive. 72 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:06,417 Speaking of which, has Sterling mentioned anything to you 73 00:04:06,442 --> 00:04:10,019 about coming into some money, or, say... 74 00:04:10,661 --> 00:04:11,853 treasure? 75 00:04:11,855 --> 00:04:14,556 Oh, you mean since the night he defiled my young, supple body, 76 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,859 destroyed my marriage, and sentenced me to a life of shame? 77 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,963 Or whenever. And why the hell are you in here?! 78 00:04:21,965 --> 00:04:25,425 - Uh, breakfast? - Not in here. You're 86'd. 79 00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:26,902 But I'm very hungry, 80 00:04:26,904 --> 00:04:30,171 and for some verdammt reason, Luigi is not open. 81 00:04:30,794 --> 00:04:34,876 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... 82 00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:38,712 I also overheard you mention something about hidden treasure? 83 00:04:38,714 --> 00:04:41,049 - Nope. - And also, I could not help 84 00:04:41,051 --> 00:04:43,884 but notice you have there a map of the island? 85 00:04:43,886 --> 00:04:45,819 - Nope. - And so, naturally, I wonder 86 00:04:45,821 --> 00:04:48,990 if you think there is some treasure hidden somewhere on the island. 87 00:04:48,991 --> 00:04:51,725 Like in the book by Robert Louis Stevenson? 88 00:04:51,727 --> 00:04:53,427 "Weir of Hermiston?" 89 00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:55,429 Wha...? Nein, Treasure Island. 90 00:04:55,431 --> 00:04:57,131 I don't know all his goddamn books! 91 00:04:57,132 --> 00:04:59,700 - Move! - But what I know 92 00:04:59,702 --> 00:05:02,770 is that unless you want Manu to scramble your eggs... 93 00:05:02,772 --> 00:05:05,907 Yeah, I would love some scrambled... Oh, I see. 94 00:05:05,908 --> 00:05:07,841 You mean my testicles. 95 00:05:07,843 --> 00:05:11,511 Schreckliche Stadt zum Frühstück. 96 00:05:11,513 --> 00:05:14,347 Well? Which way, "insert obscure reference 97 00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:15,839 to a famous cartographer"? 98 00:05:15,864 --> 00:05:18,086 - Ooh, Hendrik Hondius? - Sure. Pam? 99 00:05:18,087 --> 00:05:20,854 - I don't know who that is. - No. Which way? 100 00:05:20,855 --> 00:05:23,690 Okay, so... okay, so, the thing is... 101 00:05:23,692 --> 00:05:26,359 Give me that. Oh, my God. 102 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,596 - Is that... shit? - What? 103 00:05:28,597 --> 00:05:31,799 - Ew! - No, dumbass. It's barbecue sauce. 104 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,870 - Wha...? - Kansas City or Carolina? 105 00:05:33,895 --> 00:05:36,770 - What am I, an asshole? - Already established, and so, 106 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,338 what was already the world's worst map 107 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,773 you somehow made even worse by... 108 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,316 Wait, where'd you get barbecue? 109 00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:43,810 - What? - I haven't had barbecue 110 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,877 since we left Spain, where the hell did you get it? 111 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,547 - Oh. Uh... - Pam. 112 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,881 - Look, it's not... - Oh, my God. 113 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,117 - Did you... - Oh, no. 114 00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:51,251 ...eat a person? 115 00:05:51,252 --> 00:05:53,219 - What? No! - Ew! 116 00:05:53,244 --> 00:05:56,232 - Then, where'd you get barbecue? - I didn't. 117 00:05:56,257 --> 00:05:58,263 Then why'd you have barbecue sauce? 118 00:05:58,288 --> 00:05:59,691 I don't... I mean, I've been drinking it. 119 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,860 - What? - Oh, for the... 120 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,238 As an aperitif. Happy? 121 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,799 - Happy you drink barbecue sauce? - It's basically V8. 122 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,738 It's brown sugar and ketchup. 123 00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:12,019 - Goddamn it, which way, Pam? - That way. 124 00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:15,006 - You're sure? - Positive. 125 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,941 Well, you totally sold that. 126 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,244 I'm gonna miss that dopey confidence 127 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,945 once we find this damn idol... 128 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,181 - What the...? - Archer? 129 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:25,150 Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh! Ugh! 130 00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:27,453 Oh... 131 00:06:28,898 --> 00:06:29,966 Archer? 132 00:06:29,991 --> 00:06:31,723 - Be careful. - Thanks, dummy. 133 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,860 - Eh. - Oh, shit. It's a big, steep-ass ravine. 134 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,995 Okay, I'm gonna have to rappel down. 135 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,330 Should I come with you? 136 00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:43,501 - Yeah. Or your dumb ass could fly. - Oh, right. 137 00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:54,445 - Come on, you got it, just hurry up. - Why, is he hurt? 138 00:06:54,446 --> 00:06:55,880 - No, but... - Shut up. 139 00:06:55,881 --> 00:07:00,031 - Archer? You okay? - Uh, yeah, currently. 140 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,155 What do you mean, "currently"? 141 00:07:04,156 --> 00:07:06,556 Holy shitsnacks! 142 00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:09,092 - Yeah. - Quicksand! 143 00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:14,054 Yeah. And that's still going on. 144 00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:17,679 Which... so great. 145 00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:21,717 You can not be serious. Archer? 146 00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:22,985 Is out there looking for the idol? 147 00:07:22,986 --> 00:07:24,353 How does he even know where to look? 148 00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:26,607 Well, I have no way to know this, but, uh... 149 00:07:26,632 --> 00:07:29,891 But meanwhile, instead of searching the jungle for the idol, 150 00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,759 your men are getting drunk every night 151 00:07:31,761 --> 00:07:34,829 and shtupping the crazy coconut lady. 152 00:07:34,831 --> 00:07:36,831 They are really möndsuchtig. 153 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:39,151 - "Moonstruck"? - Moonstruck. 154 00:07:39,152 --> 00:07:42,035 - Besotted. - I know what it means. 155 00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:43,904 But I can't help wonder if Japanese soldiers 156 00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:46,006 wouldn't be much more disciplined. 157 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:49,010 All right. I get your point. I will find it. 158 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,724 Now, how about a little frühstück, 159 00:07:51,749 --> 00:07:55,146 - my little passion fruit? - Not until you pay me for the idol. 160 00:07:55,171 --> 00:07:59,060 Oh, but that makes our relationship sound so transactional. 161 00:07:59,085 --> 00:08:00,754 It is transactional. 162 00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:03,090 I know, but it hurts to hear it. 163 00:08:03,092 --> 00:08:07,249 No idol, no money, no fruit. 164 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:13,466 Deine Freizeit. Ist kaputt! 165 00:08:13,468 --> 00:08:15,968 Erste Sache, nicht mehr mit deiser 166 00:08:15,970 --> 00:08:19,023 verrückten Kokosnussfrau shtuppen! 167 00:08:19,523 --> 00:08:20,808 Was willst Du? 168 00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:23,276 Uh, we were wondering if, perhaps, as a group, 169 00:08:23,278 --> 00:08:24,724 we could speak English? 170 00:08:24,749 --> 00:08:26,478 - Yeah, English. - Warum? 171 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,848 Well, as you call her, this "crazy coconut lady," 172 00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:33,263 does not speak German, so we would like to practice English. 173 00:08:33,288 --> 00:08:34,822 - Yeah. - Why not? 174 00:08:34,857 --> 00:08:35,755 Why, do you think this woman 175 00:08:35,756 --> 00:08:38,124 would ever marry one of you dummkopfen? 176 00:08:39,648 --> 00:08:41,966 - I mean... - Fine. English, then. 177 00:08:41,991 --> 00:08:43,787 We march today into the jungle, 178 00:08:43,812 --> 00:08:45,330 where we will search for and find, 179 00:08:45,332 --> 00:08:49,635 something vital to the future of our great fatherland. 180 00:08:49,637 --> 00:08:53,405 But the jungle is very dangerous, full of lizards 181 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:56,308 and snakes and cannibals and what else, Gott weiß? 182 00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:59,631 - Can we shoot the lizards and snakes? - Yes, of course. 183 00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:03,445 - Can we shoot the cannibals? - You can shoot anything you want! 184 00:09:03,490 --> 00:09:05,457 Now are there any other questions? 185 00:09:06,537 --> 00:09:08,687 That are not about shooting things? 186 00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:10,989 Then, let's go. 187 00:09:10,991 --> 00:09:12,990 The American pilots may have a head start on us. 188 00:09:12,992 --> 00:09:15,960 They also may be smarter than they look. 189 00:09:15,962 --> 00:09:18,236 Because get the hell off me, bird! 190 00:09:18,271 --> 00:09:19,848 But I'm hugging you, with my talons. 191 00:09:19,875 --> 00:09:21,583 - Why? - 'Cause I'm here for you. 192 00:09:21,616 --> 00:09:23,623 Well, "be here" somewhere else. 193 00:09:23,648 --> 00:09:25,631 Yeesh. With friends like you... 194 00:09:25,656 --> 00:09:28,060 Case in point, what'd you mean when you said 195 00:09:28,085 --> 00:09:29,974 you were gonna miss me once we found the idol? 196 00:09:29,976 --> 00:09:31,943 I... can we talk about this later? 197 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:33,844 No. Why'd you say you'd miss me? 198 00:09:33,846 --> 00:09:35,146 I... look, you're gonna miss me 199 00:09:35,147 --> 00:09:36,981 if I drown in this goddamn quicksand. 200 00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:40,817 Yeah, try not to thrash around, it makes you sink faster. 201 00:09:40,819 --> 00:09:43,054 - How would you know? - Cowboy movies. 202 00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:44,788 Can you please just get me out of here? 203 00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:46,223 And how's this even supposed to work? 204 00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:47,825 Oh, my God, Elisha Otis, 205 00:09:47,826 --> 00:09:50,193 you throw the rope over that branch up there. 206 00:09:50,195 --> 00:09:52,662 I catch the rope, I hold onto the rope. 207 00:09:52,664 --> 00:09:55,432 You hold on to your end of the rope, and then you pull me to safety. 208 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,367 But wait, I mean, I can't pull you out 209 00:09:57,369 --> 00:10:01,471 - if you weigh more than I do. - Excuse me? 210 00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:02,939 I mean, that's like science-physics. 211 00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:06,376 - You think I weigh more than you. - Uh, yeah. 212 00:10:06,378 --> 00:10:08,295 - You're a man. - Crackers? 213 00:10:08,296 --> 00:10:09,913 - Nope. - Bird? 214 00:10:09,914 --> 00:10:13,116 Wait, what? You think I weigh more than him? 215 00:10:13,118 --> 00:10:15,519 I mean... No, not in a... 216 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,994 Come on, you're big-boned. And easily six five. 217 00:10:19,029 --> 00:10:19,923 Now can you please use 218 00:10:19,924 --> 00:10:22,190 those big-ass bones to get me out of this bullshit? 219 00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:24,159 Okay, smart guys, I'll bet you. 220 00:10:25,429 --> 00:10:29,398 - 50 bucks says Archer's heavier. - Make it a hundred. 221 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,834 - You're on. - Well, but there's his actual weight, 222 00:10:31,836 --> 00:10:33,836 plus you also have to overcome the suction power 223 00:10:33,838 --> 00:10:36,522 of the quicksand, and I don't know if that's expressed 224 00:10:36,547 --> 00:10:39,007 in foot-pounds, or newton metres, or... 225 00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:40,639 I don't care if it's in ergs. 226 00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:42,577 - It's not. - She still weighs more than me. 227 00:10:42,579 --> 00:10:47,015 - Then, let's make it 200. - Bring it. 228 00:10:47,017 --> 00:10:49,358 The real problem here, though, isn't which one of you 229 00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:52,687 weighs more, it's your combined weights in relation to the... 230 00:10:52,689 --> 00:10:54,689 - Whoa! - Oh, no, no, no. Ow! 231 00:10:54,691 --> 00:10:56,691 Oh! Ooh! W-Whoa. 232 00:10:59,764 --> 00:11:02,198 Yeah, I was gonna say the branch. 233 00:11:04,568 --> 00:11:07,068 I mean, first Pam mentions treasure 234 00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:10,337 and then that sneaky little kraut gets all flustered, 235 00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:12,440 like he's heard of the treasure? 236 00:11:12,442 --> 00:11:14,882 What if there's actually treasure on the island? 237 00:11:14,936 --> 00:11:16,611 Think it is a good story. 238 00:11:16,612 --> 00:11:19,146 I mean, it is no "Weir of Hermiston," but... 239 00:11:19,148 --> 00:11:22,817 - Oh, shut up. What about him? - He's not read it. 240 00:11:22,818 --> 00:11:25,151 No. Ask him about the treasure. 241 00:11:25,153 --> 00:11:28,069 Like if there's a native legend or something. 242 00:11:28,094 --> 00:11:32,642 _ 243 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,831 - He says yes. - Where? Ask him where. 244 00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:40,000 Où, Doudou, où? 245 00:11:41,857 --> 00:11:44,132 He says somewhere in this area here, 246 00:11:44,157 --> 00:11:46,139 close to La Crique De l'Homme Mort. 247 00:11:46,141 --> 00:11:48,374 It means Dead Man's Cove. 248 00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:52,583 "Dead Man's Cove"? What, did somebody 249 00:11:52,618 --> 00:11:55,110 already have dibs on Harbinger Harbor? 250 00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:59,788 - He say he don't know. - Because why'd you say 251 00:11:59,813 --> 00:12:02,254 you'd miss me once we found the goddamn idol? 252 00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:03,929 - Oh, my God. - Well? 253 00:12:03,954 --> 00:12:05,825 I... wait. Crackers. 254 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:07,660 If I can tie the rope around this heavy branch, 255 00:12:07,662 --> 00:12:10,062 can you fly it up into the notch of that tree 256 00:12:10,064 --> 00:12:11,498 and kind of wedge it in there? 257 00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:14,167 I don't know. Can you bench-press a train? 258 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,801 "I don't know. Can you bench-press a train?" 259 00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:19,037 Hey, but what I could do is use the radio in the plane to... 260 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,149 wait for it... 261 00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,209 - You know... - I could fly back to town and get help. 262 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,678 - I'm sure your mother would... - No. 263 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,447 All Mother cares about is getting her Manu-hooks 264 00:12:28,449 --> 00:12:32,272 into whatever money the idol's worth thanks to Pam, so no. 265 00:12:32,297 --> 00:12:35,053 - Nobody's going anywhere. - Certainly not you two. 266 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,196 Will you shut up and let me think? 267 00:12:38,915 --> 00:12:42,627 - Why'd you say you'd miss me if you... - Goddamn it! Because! 268 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,264 Pam! I'm currently up to my ears in quicksand! 269 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,266 And before that, I flew here in a plane 270 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,788 made out of literal garbage, and before that, 271 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:53,710 my eyeball got shot out in Spain, and before that, 272 00:12:53,735 --> 00:12:56,040 I went bust on those goddamn chinchilladas. 273 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,772 And the common denominator in every bad thing 274 00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:02,532 that's ever happened to me is you! And you know why?! 275 00:13:02,557 --> 00:13:06,050 Because the only two kinds of luck you have are bad and none 276 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:09,153 because you are a jinx! 277 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:12,455 And that idol is my ticket out of Loserville, 278 00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:15,525 population you! 279 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:26,102 - Goddamn, dude. - Shut up, bird! And as for you... 280 00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:31,308 Hey. Hey, come on. Knock it off. I-I-I'm sorry. 281 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,210 I didn't mean that. I-I just meant... 282 00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:34,378 Ow! What the...? 283 00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:41,790 So great. 284 00:13:45,961 --> 00:13:47,661 Ow. 285 00:13:47,662 --> 00:13:49,429 What the hell are you doing over there? 286 00:13:49,431 --> 00:13:52,798 - Waiting for your pitch? - I'm doing the best I can. 287 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,567 Which I'm sure isn't good enough for you 288 00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:58,171 because apparently, it never is, but don't worry. 289 00:13:58,173 --> 00:14:00,373 If we get out of here alive... 290 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,841 you and me are quitsies. 291 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,177 Well, that suits me just fine. 292 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,280 - Ow! - Well, it's been not so nice knowing you. 293 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,616 Guys, come on, you're talking crazy. 294 00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,318 Well, why should I stick around somebody 295 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:15,221 - who doesn't appreciate me? - No, about getting out of here alive. 296 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,089 Uh, I've been in tougher scrapes than... ow! 297 00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:19,191 He's right. We can't do this forever. 298 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,363 That is very strange. 299 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,644 It sounds like howler monkeys, 300 00:14:27,863 --> 00:14:30,168 but they are not indigenous to the Pacific. 301 00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:34,371 Yes, damn it, you can shoot the monkeys! 302 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,799 Then what? What was your question? 303 00:14:36,824 --> 00:14:41,145 Sorry. I was just going to ask if we can shoot the monkeys. 304 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,147 - What?! - He just said that. 305 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:47,118 Ah, I know, but I was going to ask it before he said that 306 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,888 and then he asked me what my question was and... 307 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,394 Any other questions? 308 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,595 Well, then what would you suggest? 309 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,823 - That I fly back to town for help. - No! 310 00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:00,197 - What? - What do you mean, "no"? 311 00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,237 You go back for help, Mother's gonna find out, 312 00:15:02,262 --> 00:15:05,385 get her nosy beak all up in it and the next thing you know, 313 00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:07,604 she tricks us out of our million dollar treasure. 314 00:15:07,613 --> 00:15:10,240 - What? - Wait. So, you'd rather just die? 315 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,542 Than to see her spending my fortune on boy toys 316 00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:14,511 and artisanal gin? Ow! 317 00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:15,780 - Oh, my God. - Well? 318 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:16,881 - I'm going for help. - No! 319 00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:18,516 - Yes! - No! 320 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,184 - Yep. Yep, yep, yep. - Goddamn it, Crackers. 321 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,787 And you get the bird, by the way. 322 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,321 - Who says I want him? - I can still hear you. 323 00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:27,642 - Shut up, bird! - Eh. 324 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:30,527 - Excuse me? - I said I'm going with you 325 00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,529 to look for hidden treasure or whatever. 326 00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:36,032 - Have you lost your mind? - I think maybe I have, 327 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,134 yeah, because if you leave me here, 328 00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:40,770 I am gonna burn down your goddamn hotel! 329 00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:45,274 - You can't! Arrest her. - Oh, no. Never again. 330 00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:47,502 I say bring her along. With any luck, 331 00:15:47,537 --> 00:15:50,212 she will be torn apart and eaten by wild animals. 332 00:15:50,214 --> 00:15:52,014 Mm-mmm! 333 00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:57,586 - Aw, shit. - Oh, for... way to go, idiot. 334 00:15:57,588 --> 00:15:59,588 How is that my fault? Ow. 335 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:01,856 How is everything your fault? Ow! 336 00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:03,792 - Exactly. - Wait, what? 337 00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:05,527 You're the one who's always shooting off his... 338 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,901 - Hey, wait. Where's your gun? - Why? 339 00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:10,365 You need something that's full of goddamn quicksand? 340 00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:12,034 You can at least show it to them. 341 00:16:12,035 --> 00:16:13,703 What good would that possibly do? 342 00:16:13,704 --> 00:16:15,436 I don't know. It might scare them off. 343 00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:17,605 They don't know what a gun is. Ow! 344 00:16:17,607 --> 00:16:19,307 You don't know that. 345 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,475 For all you know, they broke out of some top secret lab. 346 00:16:21,477 --> 00:16:23,411 They might be super intelligent. 347 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:26,447 - Do they look super intelligent? - Oh. 348 00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:29,050 Who among us... ow! 349 00:16:29,052 --> 00:16:31,051 Come on. Show them the heater. 350 00:16:31,053 --> 00:16:33,521 But only because this is the last time 351 00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:37,391 I do one of your stupid ideas. There. Happy? 352 00:16:39,462 --> 00:16:42,297 What the...? Holy shit. 353 00:16:42,298 --> 00:16:43,832 - They're running away. - See? 354 00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,566 It wasn't because of the gun. 355 00:16:45,568 --> 00:16:47,634 Yeah. I mean, maybe they were just as sick 356 00:16:47,636 --> 00:16:49,803 of your bullshit as I am. 357 00:16:49,805 --> 00:16:51,605 They sound very excited, no? 358 00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:55,324 Must be with the crazy coconut lady. 359 00:16:56,728 --> 00:16:59,980 Doudou! Idiot, regards la route! 360 00:16:59,982 --> 00:17:03,350 Oh, my God, and if you see any oysters, we have to stop. 361 00:17:03,352 --> 00:17:05,385 I am starving. 362 00:17:05,387 --> 00:17:07,854 Wh... where the hell would we see oysters?! 363 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,923 Wherever. 364 00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:12,859 - Oh, whatever. - Then tell me. 365 00:17:12,861 --> 00:17:14,961 Tell me one time us being partners 366 00:17:14,986 --> 00:17:18,565 got us out of a bad situation instead of deeper in it. 367 00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:22,102 Oh, great. Maybe you could float us out. 368 00:17:22,103 --> 00:17:25,188 I'm sorry. It just hurts to hear your best friend 369 00:17:25,189 --> 00:17:30,109 in the whole world say it's just been a big fat waste of time 370 00:17:30,111 --> 00:17:34,546 and he'd be better off if he never even met you, 371 00:17:34,548 --> 00:17:39,892 even after you gave him the best years of your life 372 00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:45,824 and you got nothing... nothing to show for it 373 00:17:45,826 --> 00:17:50,064 except for half an old magical bird! 374 00:17:51,017 --> 00:17:53,965 - Magical? - Well, how else can you explain it? 375 00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:57,870 - That's not normal bird behavior. - He's a parrot. 376 00:17:57,871 --> 00:18:00,364 - Still, though. - Well, but, come on, 377 00:18:00,389 --> 00:18:01,539 the best years of your life? 378 00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:03,675 I mean, it's not like we were a couple. 379 00:18:03,677 --> 00:18:06,744 No. I was never a couple with anybody 380 00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:09,480 because I put everything into us 381 00:18:09,482 --> 00:18:13,661 and I have nothing, Archer! Nothing! 382 00:18:13,686 --> 00:18:16,421 Well, Jesus Christ, what am I supposed to do, Pam? 383 00:18:16,423 --> 00:18:19,424 - Ask you to marry me? - Wait, what? 384 00:18:19,426 --> 00:18:20,592 What? 385 00:18:20,593 --> 00:18:21,960 - Are you...? - Oh, no, no, no. 386 00:18:21,961 --> 00:18:24,895 - No, I... - Oh-ho! I get it! 387 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:29,599 You'd have to be some kind of giant flapping asshole 388 00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:32,903 to ask that big dumb Pam Poovey to marry you! 389 00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:35,505 No, come on. You're a great... gal. 390 00:18:35,507 --> 00:18:37,908 You're smart. You're funny. 391 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,877 Any guy would be lucky to have you. 392 00:18:39,879 --> 00:18:43,880 - You didn't say pretty. - In your own way you are, 393 00:18:43,882 --> 00:18:46,416 if you'd ever put on some makeup or a dress. 394 00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,144 And I mean, I assume you've got 395 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,081 a pretty colossal set of tits under there. 396 00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:53,151 They are. They are goddamn colossal. 397 00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:56,093 And we are best friends. You're actually the only person 398 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,512 I don't hate to be around. 399 00:18:57,825 --> 00:19:00,629 I guess we do kind of make a pretty great team. 400 00:19:01,481 --> 00:19:05,902 Wait. What are you... what are you saying? 401 00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:08,704 I-I mean... I-I don't know. 402 00:19:08,706 --> 00:19:12,108 If-if I did ask you to marry me someday, 403 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,661 wh-wh-what would you say? 404 00:19:21,192 --> 00:19:22,825 Okay. 405 00:19:23,981 --> 00:19:25,921 Oh, my God. 406 00:19:25,923 --> 00:19:28,424 - You goddamn idiot. - Okay. 407 00:19:28,426 --> 00:19:30,593 I can't believe I got you to say that. 408 00:19:30,595 --> 00:19:34,729 That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. 409 00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:38,066 - I mean, that idea sucks. - Okay! 410 00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:42,871 That idea would suck a dick just to cut in line 411 00:19:42,873 --> 00:19:46,441 - to suck a bigger dick. - Okay, Pam. 412 00:19:46,443 --> 00:19:48,443 Oh, man. 413 00:19:48,903 --> 00:19:51,614 Thank you. I needed that. 414 00:19:51,615 --> 00:19:54,231 Yeah, well, you know what I need? 415 00:19:54,256 --> 00:19:56,584 Oh, my God, it's up to my mouth. 416 00:19:56,981 --> 00:19:59,687 W-Wait. Why isn't it up to your mouth? 417 00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:00,989 - What? - The quicksand. 418 00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,892 - Why aren't you sinking? - I can touch. 419 00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:05,960 - What?! - My feet are touching the bottom. 420 00:20:05,962 --> 00:20:09,363 Then why didn't you just walk out?! 421 00:20:09,365 --> 00:20:12,133 Well, I was going to, then you started blubbering 422 00:20:12,135 --> 00:20:14,435 about how you wanted to get married and shit and... 423 00:20:14,437 --> 00:20:16,776 Get your big ass out of this goddamn quicksand 424 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:19,764 - and then get my ass out! - Okay, geez. 425 00:20:19,799 --> 00:20:21,722 - Lighten up already. - Hurry up! 426 00:20:21,747 --> 00:20:23,933 You can't go through life pissed off all the damn time. 427 00:20:23,958 --> 00:20:26,736 It'll give you ball cancer. I had an uncle once, 428 00:20:26,771 --> 00:20:29,462 Norm, always pissed off and... Whoops! 429 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:34,004 - And? - Um... 430 00:20:37,762 --> 00:20:39,525 What happened to Norm? 431 00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:42,770 Let me guess. Did you annoy him to death? 432 00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:49,051 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~