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-- Addic7ed.com --

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Butter-cooked cod
with extra butter sauce.

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- And for you, sir?
- Make that two,

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with a double-bakie
chee-burger on the side.

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Huh.

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French, I want to test something.
Look at our waiter.

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Now take a quick look at that cook.

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- I'm scared, Branski.
- On three,

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you look at the cook
while I look at the waiter.

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One...

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two...

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three!

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Why are you in two places at once?

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- Not just two places, but everywhere.
- Waaah!

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What you're doing is pissing me off!

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Everyone should be
in one place at one time!

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Yeah, but you can't stop me.
It's a free country.

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He's right. We have to respect
his rights as an American.

19
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Do we have a problem here, sir?

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All of you have a problem ... me!

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Ahh!

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Branski, you've
officially lost your cool!

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1x09 - Squid of the Dead

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I can't believe
I had to get all dressed up

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for some stupid peace treaty with fish.

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Shh. Quiet.
I hate to say it,

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but you've been turning into
a regular hothead lately.

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20 years ago,
my people, the Veck,

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clashed with you land-humans
in the Great Sea Wars.

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But after two decades of diplomacy,

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we take the final steps to ensuring

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that never happens again.

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I picked one of your kind
who will accompany me

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to our underwater capital
to sign the peace treaty.

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Better not be Mark Branski.

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And I chose...
Agent Mark Branski.

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Rrr!

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- Congratu...
- How do I get out of this?

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You know I hate water.

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- Mark, what is the deal with you lately?
- He lost his cool.

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You don't have a choice ...
Ambassador Claktar

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personally requested you,
for some reason.

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You need to keep calm
and sign that treaty

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for the sake of peace.

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- French, help him keep his cool.
- Can I come, too?

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Can Fronch, my pet from
Nursery Rhyme Land, also come?

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I taught him how to talk.

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Can I come?
It would mean the world to me.

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Yes, Fronch, of course.

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It goes without saying ...
you can come, too.

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Cool!

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Agent Branski, I must say
that you and your land friends

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look truly stunning in
our traditional Veck garb.

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I think your garb is
tacky and outlandish.

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Excellent!
I see the honestly pills

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you just took are already working.

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As you know, Veck don't lie.

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Taking these pills will help you
assimilate to our culture.

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I'm ashamed of how my
genitalia look in these bikinis.

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Whoops! I guess that's
how I honestly feel.

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Very good, Agent French.

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Telling the truth must feel liberating.

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How much longer to get to
your city, Constable Geral?

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We're almost there, Jen of the
Surface. You must be excited.

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You're the first Land Striders
to set foot in our capital.

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Well, it might be
the honesty pills talking,

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but I think you're all

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culturally and intellectually
inferior to humans.

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Whooaaoo!
Jen's a racist!

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- I am!
- I'm sorry to hear this.

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Jen of the Surface,
you are now required to attend

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our Veck Cultural Sensitivity Seminar.

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It will show you the error
of your hateful thoughts.

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It probably won't do anything.

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I'm not open to new ideas about race.

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Honesty yields many surprises.

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Speaking of which,
I want you to kill me.

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- What?!
- I want you to murder me.

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How can I make this clear?

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- Well, I do want to punch you.
- Not good enough. Kill me.

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You're supposed to be
the hothead, right?

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Partner, you got to keep
your cool, remember?

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If you want to punch someone,
punch me!

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Ugh!

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You'll kill me later. It's all
part of my devious plan.

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But for now, we're here.

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Welcome, everyone,
to the city of Ekreeson ...

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Jewel of the Ocean!

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Chubs, we're pets, so we didn't
have to take honesty pills.

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- Do you know what that means?
- Unh-unh.

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It means we can lie!

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Stick with me,
and we'll lie ourselves

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into sexual heaven
with loose Veck floozies.

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Why do you want me to kill you?

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I don't want peace.
I'm a warmonger.

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You're gonna sign this peace treaty
whether you like it or not.

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French, help me!
I'm losing my cool!

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Me, Branski!
Punch me!

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Argh!

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Arrest me, too.
I'm his accomplice.

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Does anyone have
any dishonesty pills?

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My plan wasn't for you to punch me
and get arrested, you idiot!

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My plan is for you to kill me!

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- It'll be my pleasure.
- Not here!

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You have to kill me
where people are watching.

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We're heading to the Signing Room
to sign that peace treaty.

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Ooh, the Signing Room ...
televised!

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Excellent place to kill me.

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I don't think I can do this.
I really do want to kill him.

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That's his plan.
You need to do the opposite

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of what you're thinking
to thwart him.

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Hug and kiss him?

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Whenever you have bad
thoughts, hug and kiss him.

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In the Great Sea Wars,

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the Veck suffered tremendously
from humanity's atrocities.

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But rather than vengeance,
we buried our fallen

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in our sacred Squid of the Dead
and forgave

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and now look to start a new peace.

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We do it for her future.

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We do it for all our futures.

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Now do you see why
your words were so wrong?

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- No.
- A shame.

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We can watch
the signing of the treaty here.

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- Where are your land pets?
- I honestly don't care.

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Lying gets you anything.
Check this out.

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Pardon me ... I just
wanted you to know

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that I'm very good
at pleasuring Veck women.

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- I'm really not.
- Oh!

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Oh, I'm intrigued.

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My friend Chubbie Webbers.
He's as handsome as they get.

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- Really?
- Yes!

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Not really.
I'm lying!

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Here's my gun.
Y-You're going to need it

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to shoot me
in front of the audience.

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- This is humiliating!
- Hug him! Kiss him!

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No! Kill me!

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Just sign right here by your name.

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- Aaaaah!
- Noooo!

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He was asking for it!

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Something's wrong here.

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I'm gonna gather clues and help
my uncle escape from jail.

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If you do that, I'll arrest
you, so... don't do that.

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The death of Claktar by the
Land Strider is an act of war!

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We will take the surface
from the humans.

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Prepare the War Whales.

146
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Well, that's that. I'm resigned
to my new life as a convict.

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They serve cod, I have a cot,

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catch my winks ...
keep me cool forever.

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Branski, we're at war.
We need to get out of here.

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It's time for you
to really lose your cool.

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Sorry,
but I got my cool back.

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The key is to forget about your
problems. Then they go away.

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When you're comfortable, like
I am now, you don't tempt fate.

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At this point, nothing can
make me lose my cool.

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I guess I have to do this.

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Guy from the seafood
restaurant, are you here?

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Yes.
I'm everywhere.

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My name is Cass, I'm everywhere,

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and there's nothing
you can do about it,

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- because it's a free country.
- Cass is everywhere.

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- Are you okay with this?
- Leave me alone.

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How was your butter-cooked cod?

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God damn it! Shut up!

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No, I want to keep talking.
It's a free country.

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Gahhh!

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Branski! Guards!

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- Hop in.
- I hate the Veck.

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Me too! They're
intellectually inferior.

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Not because of that, you bigot!

170
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I found clues that Claktar
wants to start the war again.

171
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We have to prove he's still alive.

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- How are we gonna do that?
- By going inside...

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the Squid of the Dead.

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There it is!

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- But we'll never clear that fence!
- Like hell!

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Damn.
We can't follow them.

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- Why not?
- I'm too scared.

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All the Veck
are buried here when they die.

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If Claktar really is dead,
he'll be here.

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- Oh, my God!
- What now?

181
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Chubbie just texted me
a video of Fronch ...

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- having sex with a woman.
- I'd like to see that.

183
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Sorry, but it's true.
God damn these honesty pills!

184
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Man, my stinger is raw!

185
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Did you two have sex
with my wife?!

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No.
And that's the truth.

187
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Oh.
Then my apologies.

188
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I had sex with both of them.
It was awful!

189
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They're very selfish lovers.

190
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:07,670
Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, hunh-unh! Hunh-unh!

191
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,739
- Oh, they didn't?
- Yes, they did!

192
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They ran me raggedy-snaggedy!

193
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:16,609
Raggedy-snaggedy?!
I've made my decision.

194
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This is Claktar's tomb.

195
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Empty.
Claktar must be alive.

196
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,749
And with a gun.

197
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:31,019
- You set me up, Claktar. Why?
- I've been honest the whole time.

198
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,260
I needed someone to frame
to start this war.

199
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,690
And this time,
the Veck will win!

200
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:37,660
You, Branski,
were the perfect hothead

201
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,169
to make my murder believable.

202
00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:41,600
You killed me,
and now I kill you.

203
00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:44,139
- Seems fair.
- No. It doesn't.

204
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:47,110
Ambassador Claktar, you're
under arrest for being alive.

205
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:49,510
Great! So...
you'll stop the attack?

206
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,540
Actually, no. A lot of
Claktar's plan makes sense.

207
00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:53,849
Humans sort of suck.

208
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:56,380
Plus, I'm also a warmonger at heart.

209
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This will be my legacy.

210
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That's it.
I'm sick of this shit.

211
00:10:00,806 --> 00:10:03,620
I'm taking this fish and riding
it all the way home!

212
00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:06,889
You can't do that!
This is our sacred graveyard!

213
00:10:06,924 --> 00:10:10,076
If you like it so much,
why don't you die here?!

214
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,119
- Did you sign the peace treaty?
- No.

215
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,489
Where's Chubbie Webbers
and Fronch?

216
00:10:36,490 --> 00:10:38,990
I just got a text
from Fronch a minute ago.

217
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,359
They're doing great!

218
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,730
Ohh! At least
we got some good news.

219
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,860
Because Hot Streets is in danger.

220
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:49,570
One of our greatest foes
has returned.

221
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,770
Oh, Hot Streets.

222
00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:56,210
Your candy castle
is about to crumble.

223
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,573
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