1 00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:13,000 Mmm. Jam. 2 00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:19,344 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 3 00:00:24,138 --> 00:00:25,871 Okay, okay. 4 00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:28,206 The only explanation is I'm still asleep, 5 00:00:28,242 --> 00:00:30,409 dreaming that the house is flooded. 6 00:00:30,444 --> 00:00:33,145 What does it mean? What does it mean? 7 00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:35,147 It probably means you're under a lot of stress 8 00:00:35,182 --> 00:00:38,016 because this is not a dream and the house is flooded. 9 00:00:38,052 --> 00:00:40,619 - D'oh! - Cowabunga! 10 00:00:44,091 --> 00:00:45,857 Oh, my God. This is horrible! 11 00:00:45,893 --> 00:00:47,726 Although, I do like the sofa better 12 00:00:47,761 --> 00:00:49,194 where the water's carrying it. 13 00:00:54,034 --> 00:00:56,702 How did this happen? 14 00:00:58,238 --> 00:01:00,205 Homie, I don't like where the painting is. 15 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,707 Maybe you're upset about something else. 16 00:01:01,742 --> 00:01:02,741 Are you hungry? 17 00:01:02,776 --> 00:01:04,242 Why don't you make some pork chops? 18 00:01:04,278 --> 00:01:05,477 Fine. 19 00:01:05,512 --> 00:01:08,313 Now can you hang the painting? 20 00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:10,449 Always with the painting. 21 00:01:12,686 --> 00:01:14,953 Perfect. Wait, no, no, it's not. 22 00:01:14,989 --> 00:01:17,556 Try again. 23 00:01:17,591 --> 00:01:20,459 Mm. No, split the difference. 24 00:01:22,096 --> 00:01:23,895 See? 25 00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:27,766 When you listen to me, we make a great team. 26 00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:30,769 It's almost like I can hear the ocean. 27 00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:32,871 I guess we're both at fault. 28 00:01:32,906 --> 00:01:34,706 In a way, that's refreshing. 29 00:01:34,742 --> 00:01:36,842 Do you want me to apologize anyway? 30 00:01:36,877 --> 00:01:39,945 - I'd be happy to. - Aw, no, thanks, sweetie. 31 00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:42,848 Hmm. Well, either way, I'm sorry. 32 00:01:42,851 --> 00:01:45,385 Okay, now, when we try to sell the house, 33 00:01:45,452 --> 00:01:47,586 no one mention the water. 34 00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:49,588 Just tell me you paid the insurance. 35 00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:51,456 You mean that bill that's floating right there? 36 00:01:51,492 --> 00:01:54,359 It's not due till tomorrow, so relax. 37 00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:57,562 My origami project. 38 00:01:57,598 --> 00:02:01,033 Don't worry, sweetie. We'll have a funeral for it. 39 00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:03,035 - All right. - _ 40 00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:06,872 I-I'll just pull up your policy. Alt-Control-F... Aw, damn it! 41 00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:09,074 Kate! Kate, can you get in here? 42 00:02:09,109 --> 00:02:12,444 It's a different generation that knows how to work these things. 43 00:02:15,382 --> 00:02:17,582 - Enjoy. - Eh, the kids, huh? 44 00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:20,252 They just know how to do it. Now let's see here. 45 00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:24,022 You're in luck! The policy I sold you 46 00:02:24,058 --> 00:02:26,391 covers the full replacement value of your house. 47 00:02:27,661 --> 00:02:30,829 We also pay for six months temporary housing. 48 00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:33,665 Now the bad news: your policy is the only one I've sold. 49 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,233 It just cost the company a bundle, 50 00:02:35,269 --> 00:02:37,002 and I'm gonna lose my job. 51 00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:38,937 Gee, sorry, ol' Gil. 52 00:02:38,972 --> 00:02:42,140 That's okay, I got options: unemployment, suicide. 53 00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:44,443 When one door closes, a coffin opens. 54 00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:47,312 Eh, what am I saying? I don't make coffin money. 55 00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:49,614 But now I got something to work towards! 56 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:51,116 That's right. 57 00:02:51,151 --> 00:02:54,119 Kate, can you tell me how to charge a cell phone? 58 00:02:55,956 --> 00:02:58,990 Whoa, whoa, whoa, so wall holes make things charge? 59 00:02:59,026 --> 00:03:00,725 What's next? 60 00:03:03,497 --> 00:03:06,364 There are some nice Airbnb options on the Westside. 61 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,101 Ooh. Huh? Huh? _ 62 00:03:09,136 --> 00:03:10,669 Mm, I'd feel kind of weird 63 00:03:10,704 --> 00:03:14,639 sleeping in the bedroom of someone I know. 64 00:03:14,675 --> 00:03:16,975 Everything okay with the room? 65 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,810 You're not supposed to be back 66 00:03:18,846 --> 00:03:20,679 from your vacation for three weeks. 67 00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:22,380 It's not a vacation. 68 00:03:22,416 --> 00:03:24,483 My dad is doing seasonal fruit picking. 69 00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:26,151 Come on, Milhouse. 70 00:03:26,186 --> 00:03:29,488 I need you on my shoulders to reach the high apples. 71 00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:31,490 And I don't want to be in a room 72 00:03:31,525 --> 00:03:34,960 where guys walked around with their dinguses out. 73 00:03:34,995 --> 00:03:37,662 No! No, don't imagine that! 74 00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:42,701 So, son, uh, word on the street is you've come into some money. 75 00:03:42,736 --> 00:03:44,236 Yeah? 76 00:03:44,271 --> 00:03:47,472 I was wondering, you know, uh... just hear me out... 77 00:03:47,508 --> 00:03:50,075 I've always considered you a friend, and... 78 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,077 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 79 00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:54,746 This is the most precious kind of money there is: 80 00:03:54,781 --> 00:03:56,748 unearned, and it's mine. 81 00:03:56,783 --> 00:03:58,917 And you're not getting at it just because you need 82 00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:01,319 a bigger TV or a room with a window or... 83 00:04:01,355 --> 00:04:02,821 An operation. 84 00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:05,557 You need an operation? What's the matter? 85 00:04:05,592 --> 00:04:07,325 If it's all the same, it's embarrassing, 86 00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:09,394 and I'd rather not discuss it publicly. 87 00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:10,896 Really? What could it be? 88 00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:13,832 Look, it's important to me and pricey. 89 00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:15,634 What could it be? 90 00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,325 _ 91 00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:20,338 "Pane in the ass"? 92 00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:23,542 Hands off! 93 00:04:23,577 --> 00:04:25,210 I need professional help! 94 00:04:25,245 --> 00:04:27,779 Not to worry. This is the United States. 95 00:04:27,814 --> 00:04:30,182 We have the third best health care system 96 00:04:30,217 --> 00:04:31,583 in North America. 97 00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:33,185 Hi, Medicare! 98 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,387 I mean, hi, every-money. 99 00:04:35,422 --> 00:04:37,689 Can I speak with the doctor alone? 100 00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:40,091 Of course. 101 00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,260 Oh, wait, I'm the doctor. 102 00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:45,430 That's why I wear the heart listening tube. 103 00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:47,465 Ba-boom, ba-boom. 104 00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:49,467 That never gets old. 105 00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,470 What's taking Grampa so long in there? 106 00:04:52,506 --> 00:04:55,373 It's crazy that medical costs are so high here. 107 00:04:55,409 --> 00:04:59,778 In Denmark... to pick a country at random... health care is free. 108 00:04:59,813 --> 00:05:03,415 Free? Honey, nothing is free but Splendas. 109 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:06,518 In Denmark, they make everyone pay high taxes. 110 00:05:06,553 --> 00:05:08,053 Even rich people. 111 00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:10,388 Yes, and they get free health care. 112 00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:12,424 It's called socialism. 113 00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:16,228 Socialism? But all my radio loudmouths tell me to hate that. 114 00:05:16,263 --> 00:05:18,396 That doc can't do nothing for me. 115 00:05:18,432 --> 00:05:22,000 You know, if Grampa was in Denmark and he had an accident, 116 00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:24,836 he'd get medical care for free! 117 00:05:24,871 --> 00:05:26,838 I can't go to Denmark by myself. 118 00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:29,274 I get lost in the middle of a sentence, 119 00:05:29,309 --> 00:05:33,311 and that was the best pie I ever had. 120 00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:35,780 Wait a minute. What if we used our insurance money 121 00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:38,183 to take a family trip to Denmark? 122 00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:39,851 Why would we want to go to Denmark? 123 00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:43,021 It is the happiest country on Earth, in poll after poll. 124 00:05:43,056 --> 00:05:46,658 I got your poll right here. 125 00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:47,993 Hey, you're right. _ 126 00:05:48,028 --> 00:05:50,195 Homer, you've got the vacation coming. 127 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:52,330 We've got the money. It's settled. 128 00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:56,101 We're going to Denmark, and Grampa will get fixed. 129 00:05:56,136 --> 00:05:59,537 Well, Homer, looks like Marge is the boss in your house. 130 00:05:59,573 --> 00:06:01,373 Well, I say we don't go! 131 00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:03,241 But we need to go. I'm desperate! 132 00:06:03,277 --> 00:06:04,709 Fine, we'll go. 133 00:06:04,745 --> 00:06:07,834 That woman's got you right under her thumb. 134 00:06:08,717 --> 00:06:14,015 _ 135 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,476 None of these were chosen 136 00:06:15,477 --> 00:06:17,762 as the name of our airline. Danish Air. 137 00:06:17,797 --> 00:06:22,300 Excuse me, sir, the "no smoking" sign has been illuminated. 138 00:06:24,971 --> 00:06:27,038 Sorry. 139 00:06:27,073 --> 00:06:29,841 The flight attendants are so sweet. 140 00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:32,610 We will be landing in Copenhagen shortly. 141 00:06:32,645 --> 00:06:35,112 If you have been designing and building furniture 142 00:06:35,148 --> 00:06:38,983 during the flight, please apply your final coat of varnish now. 143 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,154 Hey, I got things done, too. 144 00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:45,156 What the...?! _ 145 00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,577 Denmark, the jewel of the Baltic. 146 00:06:47,609 --> 00:06:50,143 First-class schools, sleek furniture design, 147 00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:51,544 energy independence, 148 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:55,682 and brooding TV dramas about teenagers getting killed. 149 00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:58,284 Thank you so much for renting my apartment. 150 00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:00,086 It's so efficient. 151 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:06,859 Please allow me to give you a tour of Copenhagen. 152 00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:10,363 Wonderful. But first, a nap. 153 00:07:10,398 --> 00:07:13,633 No, Homer. You slept on the plane. 154 00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:16,436 You slept through customs. You slept on the bus. 155 00:07:16,471 --> 00:07:18,337 How can you sleep now? 156 00:07:18,373 --> 00:07:21,140 Don't you hear Copenhagen calling? 157 00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:23,176 Take a message. 158 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,254 The people here are so openly affectionate. 159 00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,823 Why don't we all hold hands? 160 00:07:36,858 --> 00:07:38,991 Are we supposed to interlock fingers or not? 161 00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:40,526 Cramp! Cramp! 162 00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:41,994 Dad's hands are covered with jam. 163 00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,430 - I can't get it off! - Grampa's hands are too rough. 164 00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,733 - Lisa's hands are too soft. - Just keep holding. 165 00:07:46,768 --> 00:07:48,668 Oh, don't worry, the government will pay you 166 00:07:48,703 --> 00:07:50,236 to learn this social skill. 167 00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:52,505 Uh, Homer, you are holding your own hand. 168 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:56,342 They're fighting over a Danish. 169 00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,678 Created in 1913, The Little Mermaid 170 00:07:58,713 --> 00:08:01,080 is a world-famous icon of Denmark. 171 00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:03,316 No, The Little Mermaid was created by Disney, 172 00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:06,018 right before he created Spider-Man and Star Wars. 173 00:08:06,054 --> 00:08:07,754 This is the real little mermaid. 174 00:08:07,789 --> 00:08:09,689 And she was a very tragic figure. 175 00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,758 - What about her buddy, the crab? - There was no crab! 176 00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:13,526 He was the only funny thing in it. 177 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:14,694 Got that right. 178 00:08:14,729 --> 00:08:16,529 Oh, my God, it's wonderful. 179 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,898 More people biking than driving cars. 180 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,466 Yes, it's rush hour, 181 00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:23,102 so people are taking the bicycle superhighways home. 182 00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:24,804 Uh, how crowded are your bicycle superhighways? 183 00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,305 Well... 184 00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:27,807 We don't have any. 185 00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,009 But how many people ride bikes in your town? 186 00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:31,711 The paperboy, till Dad hit him. 187 00:08:31,746 --> 00:08:33,946 Sadly, the one headline he couldn't deliver. 188 00:08:33,982 --> 00:08:36,315 Wait a minute, wait a minute, stop the car! 189 00:08:37,886 --> 00:08:39,952 _ 190 00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:42,121 What? It's Danish for "speed check." 191 00:08:42,157 --> 00:08:44,657 Fart kontrol. 192 00:08:47,929 --> 00:08:49,729 I apologize for my husband. 193 00:08:49,764 --> 00:08:51,931 In our language, that sign means something else. 194 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,432 Yes, I know. 195 00:08:53,468 --> 00:08:55,301 I'm speaking to you in your language. 196 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,183 _ 197 00:08:58,239 --> 00:09:01,841 "Non-Danes do not qualify for the free health care. 198 00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:04,343 "But if you injure yourself in Denmark, 199 00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:07,747 a Danish hospital will treat you for free." 200 00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:11,450 I can't believe the government puts this out. 201 00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:12,919 For free! 202 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,956 Excuse me, you dropped this. 203 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,493 Lisa, this is Prince Christian, second in line to the throne. 204 00:09:23,531 --> 00:09:25,531 I play the tenor sax. 205 00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:27,600 Oh, no, here it comes. 206 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,036 The fantasy about becoming a princess 207 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:32,171 that no girl can resist. 208 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,133 Bart, get out of my fantasy! 209 00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:04,203 Ah, geez, I saved your life. How about a "you're welcome"? 210 00:10:04,227 --> 00:10:06,042 _ 211 00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:08,074 Can you imagine how exciting it would be 212 00:10:08,109 --> 00:10:09,642 to live in this city? 213 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,078 Ooh, Mom, we could try it for a semester. 214 00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:15,414 Do you know how long I've wanted to live in a Celsius country? 215 00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,250 There's boobs on the billboards! 216 00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:20,519 And we're here in the world's most perfect amusement park. 217 00:10:29,764 --> 00:10:32,732 Their national anthem is so beautiful, 218 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,401 and they don't get to war until the second verse. 219 00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:39,071 And it's in a range you can actually sing. 220 00:10:39,107 --> 00:10:44,510 ? There is a lovely land ? 221 00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:49,715 ? With spreading shady beech-trees ? 222 00:10:49,751 --> 00:10:53,786 ? Near salty eastern shore ? 223 00:10:53,821 --> 00:11:00,526 ? Near salty eastern shore. ? 224 00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:02,396 _ 225 00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:06,799 Bart and Lisa are getting along! This country is calling to us. 226 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,602 Homer, can you take the daring step 227 00:11:09,637 --> 00:11:11,804 of doing nothing and staying here? 228 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,973 There are big reasons why we can't live here. 229 00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,542 I'm okay with nuclear power, but wind power? 230 00:11:16,577 --> 00:11:20,313 - Frankly, it sounds dangerous. - Excuse me, white trash. 231 00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:22,815 Is this the kind of country you want to live in? 232 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:26,052 No, sir. I meant we separate our trash by colors. 233 00:11:26,087 --> 00:11:31,657 ? This country is still lovely ? 234 00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:35,494 ? Because blue is the lake wind... ? 235 00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:38,965 I can't believe you're talking about leaving Springfield. 236 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,133 That's where all my friends are. 237 00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:47,740 Look, everyone, we came here to rip this country off, 238 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,843 and that's what we're gonna do and then go home. 239 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,146 Fine. Let's find a place that has good smorrebrod, 240 00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:58,451 or maybe some morbradbof or flaeskesteg. 241 00:11:58,486 --> 00:12:00,119 Women do love this country. 242 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,921 Homer, do you think I'm handsome? 243 00:12:01,956 --> 00:12:04,323 Well, yes. I was gonna mention it. 244 00:12:04,359 --> 00:12:07,460 - I am a Danish four. - I'm an American nine. 245 00:12:10,198 --> 00:12:12,698 How could my family want to stay here? 246 00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:16,602 In America, we have great TV channels, like BBC America, 247 00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:20,339 and a factory for cheesecakes... a factory! 248 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:23,275 Your enthusiasm makes me want to follow you there. 249 00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:25,077 Foreigners are no longer welcome. 250 00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,681 All right, Dad, no more fooling around. 251 00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:31,650 Time to get you in the hospital, so we can go home. 252 00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:33,686 _ 253 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:41,652 _ 254 00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:45,027 _ 255 00:12:45,051 --> 00:12:47,051 _ 256 00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:08,568 _ 257 00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,995 Hello. How was your day? 258 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:18,264 Eh. This country sure is safe. 259 00:13:18,299 --> 00:13:20,666 Well, last week, an older tourist 260 00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:22,701 had a bad fall at Kronborg Castle. 261 00:13:22,737 --> 00:13:26,572 Of course, Kronborg Castle. Why didn't I think of it? 262 00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:28,874 Probably because I never heard of it. 263 00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,943 Dating back to the 15th century, 264 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,679 Kronborg was immortalized as Elsinore 265 00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,281 in Shakespeare's Hamlet. 266 00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:36,849 Isn't it beautiful? 267 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,618 Yeah, the castle's okay, but the keep is, like, meh. 268 00:13:39,654 --> 00:13:41,921 And I'll tell you something else great about here. 269 00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:44,557 You've been walking so much, you've lost weight. 270 00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:47,293 I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight! 271 00:13:47,328 --> 00:13:50,262 Homer, in this most beautiful spot on Earth, 272 00:13:50,298 --> 00:13:54,934 I have to admit to you, I really don't want to go home. 273 00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:57,036 - I don't either. - Let's stay. 274 00:13:57,071 --> 00:13:59,438 Think about how happy we'd be here. 275 00:13:59,474 --> 00:14:03,976 It's healthy, it's clean, it's incredibly civilized, 276 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,812 and everything is done in moderation. 277 00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:08,948 You're not describing a country. 278 00:14:08,983 --> 00:14:11,817 You're describing everything that's the opposite of me. 279 00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:13,819 Everyone here speaks perfect English. 280 00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:15,754 Probably gonna be around in five years. 281 00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:18,824 It's just a nice place and we like it. 282 00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:22,361 All I ask is that you think about it. 283 00:14:24,832 --> 00:14:28,467 Maybe she's right. Maybe we should move here. 284 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,572 Tubby or not tubby, that is the question. 285 00:14:33,608 --> 00:14:35,274 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind 286 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,477 to gobble the wings and nachos of outrageous portions, 287 00:14:38,513 --> 00:14:40,513 or just eat fish and end them. 288 00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:44,683 Ay, there's the rub... brisket rub, Memphis rub. 289 00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:49,121 Oh, the rubs I'll miss when I have shuffled off from Buffalo. 290 00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:50,956 Mozzarella... No. 291 00:14:50,992 --> 00:14:53,792 I'm an American, and we've got to get back to America, 292 00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:57,925 the greatest country on Earth, 1917 to 2016. 293 00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:01,999 This is the famous Holger Danish, our sleeping king. 294 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,567 All right, Dad, here we go. 295 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,437 There's nothing more American than a slip and fall. 296 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,406 Whoa! 297 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,908 Hold on, son. 298 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,708 Before you push me down these stairs, I have a confession. 299 00:15:13,754 --> 00:15:16,388 The procedure I need isn't a surgery. 300 00:15:16,435 --> 00:15:19,336 I just need to remove an old tattoo. 301 00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:22,272 You made us come here because of a stupid tattoo? 302 00:15:22,307 --> 00:15:25,108 It's not just any tattoo. 303 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,132 _ 304 00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:28,845 Mom? 305 00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:33,483 No! Mona Malloy, who used to iron my shirts. 306 00:15:33,519 --> 00:15:35,519 Of course it's your mother. 307 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,543 _ 308 00:15:38,123 --> 00:15:41,191 I can't go to my grave with this hanging over my heart. 309 00:15:41,226 --> 00:15:42,793 Why is it guys like us 310 00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:45,328 are always disappointing the women we love? 311 00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:48,698 I would ask Mona, but she's spending eternity hating me, 312 00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:50,333 from her pit in hell. 313 00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:52,035 I miss her, too. 314 00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:54,938 Her greatest skill was making people miss her. 315 00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:59,443 - Hello. - She's talking to you. 316 00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:02,145 Mm, I'll talk to someone my age. 317 00:16:02,181 --> 00:16:03,647 _ 318 00:16:03,682 --> 00:16:06,516 Excuse me. I felt compelled to meet you. 319 00:16:06,552 --> 00:16:09,553 I've never met a man with empathy so deep 320 00:16:09,588 --> 00:16:11,221 he weeps in public. 321 00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:13,356 Oh, yeah, I cry, I blubber. 322 00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:15,392 Sometimes stuff comes out of my nose. 323 00:16:15,427 --> 00:16:17,394 Well... 324 00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,197 Danish men never reveal such emotion. 325 00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:22,566 They're like cold, flawless gods. 326 00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:24,901 Look, lady, I'm a married man. 327 00:16:24,937 --> 00:16:27,537 - I'm a married man. - Shh. 328 00:16:27,573 --> 00:16:29,172 I'm a married man. 329 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,976 Here, marriage is not such a sacred institution. 330 00:16:33,011 --> 00:16:35,512 Danes are very free sexually. 331 00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:39,749 Perhaps it's because we are more sensitive to each other's needs, 332 00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:42,185 or just because we're all so freaking hot. 333 00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:46,356 Now let us dance our traditional dance of passion. 334 00:16:46,391 --> 00:16:47,791 Okay. 335 00:16:59,071 --> 00:17:03,206 Do you know the Danes eat more ice cream than any other people? 336 00:17:03,242 --> 00:17:05,275 Yet their rate of heart disease is... 337 00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,511 Oh, it's their number one cause of death. 338 00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:09,212 Well, look where we got it. 339 00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:12,849 Well, that never stopped your father. 340 00:17:12,885 --> 00:17:15,952 I'll just text a picture of you right now, eating the ice... 341 00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,287 Oh, my God. 342 00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:19,489 Marge. 343 00:17:21,493 --> 00:17:22,792 Where are you going? 344 00:17:22,828 --> 00:17:25,195 Where will I ever find another man like you? 345 00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:28,231 Hi, we're the Kiwanis Club of Cheeseburg, Ohio. 346 00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:31,801 Oh... hio. 347 00:17:32,771 --> 00:17:34,471 I must confess to you now, 348 00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:38,141 every couple that has Airbnb'd my apartment has broken up. 349 00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:40,544 Then how did it get so many good reviews? 350 00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:42,245 They like the big apartment cat. 351 00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:45,215 Oh, I do like it. Ooh, let me scratch your chin! 352 00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:48,618 He's so chubby, I just can't take it! 353 00:17:48,654 --> 00:17:50,487 Marge, honey, I'm so sorry. 354 00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:52,989 We shared a dance and a fish, but that's it. 355 00:17:53,025 --> 00:17:55,992 - I understand. It's fine. - So you're coming home? 356 00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:58,728 No, I'm not. I want to stay. 357 00:17:58,764 --> 00:18:02,432 I don't know for how long, but I feel so alive and free. 358 00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,100 I've stopped wearing a bra. 359 00:18:04,136 --> 00:18:06,736 That means they're just one fabric away 360 00:18:06,772 --> 00:18:08,672 from the cool Scandinavian air. 361 00:18:08,707 --> 00:18:11,274 Sorry, Homie. We're not leaving. 362 00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,177 Well, the kids can't just replace me. 363 00:18:14,212 --> 00:18:17,480 He's so cozy. He can sleep with Mom. 364 00:18:17,516 --> 00:18:19,516 Can I get you a beer? 365 00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:28,525 Dad, wait. 366 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,695 Mom says you can take these home with you. It's a bag of bras. 367 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:35,465 And I just learned how to unhook these. 368 00:18:37,502 --> 00:18:39,002 Oh, my God. What am I doing? 369 00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,971 I should be having the time of my life 370 00:18:41,006 --> 00:18:44,307 in this airport security line, but it's nothing without Marge. 371 00:18:44,343 --> 00:18:46,376 Son, I got to tell you something. 372 00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:48,678 - You're making a huge mistake. - I know. 373 00:18:48,714 --> 00:18:50,847 I let stubbornness ruin my marriage, 374 00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,984 and all I have to show for it is an old tattoo. 375 00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:57,120 - Go back to your woman. - You mean the one in the bar? 376 00:18:57,155 --> 00:18:59,389 First the one in the bar, then Marge. 377 00:18:59,424 --> 00:19:00,991 No! Just Marge. 378 00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:11,468 - Marge! - You missed the flight. 379 00:19:11,503 --> 00:19:14,170 Marge, baby, wherever you are is home. 380 00:19:14,206 --> 00:19:15,805 I'm staying in Copenhagen. 381 00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:17,474 I'm glad you came back, 382 00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:20,844 but I was kind of rethinking living here. 383 00:19:20,879 --> 00:19:22,512 Why? 384 00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,481 The toilet's in the shower. 385 00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:26,082 The washing machine won't even hold 386 00:19:26,118 --> 00:19:27,717 one pair of your underpants. 387 00:19:30,288 --> 00:19:33,590 And you see how dark it is? 388 00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:35,692 It's 11:00 in the morning. 389 00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:42,432 Well, that was a nice day. 390 00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:44,834 I think I'm ready to go home. 391 00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,269 You got it, baby. 392 00:19:46,304 --> 00:19:48,204 We'll ditch this paradise and never come back. 393 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,539 What about the kids? 394 00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,975 I heard the schools are really great here. I'm out. 395 00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:54,811 I want to stay, but no one ever listens to me. 396 00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:56,446 So we're all united. 397 00:19:56,481 --> 00:19:58,048 - Yay! - Whoo! 398 00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:01,451 But I can't help thinking I'm forgetting something. 399 00:20:03,722 --> 00:20:06,356 Sir, those birds were already fed by the state. 400 00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:09,459 You are overfeeding them, which will kill them. 401 00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:18,329 When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. 402 00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:20,633 Aw. _ 403 00:20:20,766 --> 00:20:22,566 So how much do we owe you? 404 00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:25,569 Nothing. In Denmark, we have socialized tattooing. 405 00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:29,173 And with that, our country is out of money. Good-bye. 406 00:20:32,953 --> 00:20:35,593 _ 407 00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:43,771 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com -