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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
with the furniture store

3
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,185
over by the steak house?

4
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He's asked me to dinner.

5
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Is he your boyfriend?

6
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Well, he's one of them,
so let's not bring that up.

7
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,161
All right, so what can I do for you?

8
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What's it like to be Jewish?

9
00:00:14,968 --> 00:00:16,963
Oh, it's terrible. I don't recommend it.

10
00:00:16,965 --> 00:00:19,140
Yeah?

11
00:00:19,143 --> 00:00:22,601
Connie, I would like to
have dinner with you tonight.

12
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This is very promising.

13
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Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw

14
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had their first sleepover.

15
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It's a big step in their relationship.

16
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I'm going to go congratulate them.

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Hey, put on a jacket, it's chilly out.

18
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I have only seen you eat
vanilla ice cream for dessert.

19
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- Why is that?
- Well, I've taken a page

20
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,894
from the great physicist
Richard Feynman.

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In order to have

22
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one less decision in his life,

23
00:00:50,966 --> 00:00:55,668
he decided that dessert would
always be chocolate ice cream.

24
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Sounds like it could get kind of boring.

25
00:00:57,628 --> 00:00:58,871
Oh, it does.

26
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But over the last 35 years,

27
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I believe I've saved at
least a day and a half.

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Well, you have to let
me cook for you sometime.

29
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But I enjoy cooking for you.

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It's a means of expressing my affection.

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It also allows me to
control the amount of garlic,

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which gives me the burps.

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Well, I do make a mean barbecue,

34
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and I promise I can make it garlic-free.

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Excellent!

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Next time, you can express
your affection for me.

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Excuse me.

38
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I bet it's Sheldon checking on us.

39
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What?

40
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,247
Connie? It's Ira.

41
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Hey... Hey...

42
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I'm, uh...

43
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I-It's Sheldon.

44
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He... sounds a little agitated.

45
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I'm gonna take it in the other room.

46
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Just...

47
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Hello again.

48
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Listen, I'm wondering what
you're doing this weekend.

49
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I miss you.

50
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Cool, cool.

51
00:02:05,619 --> 00:02:07,203
You want to go to a movie

52
00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:08,941
or bowl a few frames?

53
00:02:08,943 --> 00:02:13,213
Uh, you know, listen, it's
not a great time right now.

54
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Um, I have a little family over,

55
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and can I call you later?

56
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Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I
don't want to interrupt.

57
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I just miss hearing your voice.

58
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Well... here it is,

59
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coming right up out of my throat.

60
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Um, okay,

61
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so, uh, uh, bye.

62
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Bye-bye.

63
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How's Sheldon doing?

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- What?
- Sheldon.

65
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You were talking to Sheldon.

66
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Oh... right, yes.

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Did you know he has a
picture of that fella Feynman

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in his bedroom?

69
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What? So do I.

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Peas in a pod.

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Oh, darn.

72
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Excuse me.

73
00:02:52,821 --> 00:02:54,932
Yes?

74
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How's it going?

75
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It's Sheldon again.

76
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What do you mean "again"?

77
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Speak.

78
00:02:59,803 --> 00:03:01,390
I recently read an article

79
00:03:01,393 --> 00:03:03,429
about a superconducting supercollider

80
00:03:03,431 --> 00:03:05,133
that might be built in Texas.

81
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What about it?

82
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Well, I thought if there was a lull

83
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in your dinner conversation,

84
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you might casually drop
it as an icebreaker.

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Our dinner conversation
is going just fine.

86
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Well, now you have it
in your back pocket.

87
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Carry on.

88
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Question... will we be
engaging in coitus tonight?

89
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Because I believe I pulled a hamstring

90
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on the bike ride over.

91
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Why didn't you say something?

92
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Well, I was trying to display machismo,

93
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but it's becoming more and more clear

94
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that there's something
askew in my groin.

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Oh, John...

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we don't have to do anything.

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We can just be together.

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Thanks.

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But if it's all the same to you,

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I'd like to give it the old college try.

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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

102
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Here you go.

103
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Thank you.

104
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So, you're really gonna go out

105
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with this furniture store fella

106
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while seeing Dr. Sturgis?

107
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It's called playing the field.

108
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And if you'd done some of that,

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you wouldn't be saddled
with Bluto in there.

110
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That's not nice.

111
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And is that really necessary?

112
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The Italians call it "corretto."

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It means correcting the drink.

114
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So, a drink without
alcohol in it is wrong?

115
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Yep.

116
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Italian people, they know what's up.

117
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All right, one issue at a time.

118
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So, you're really gonna
date two men simultaneously?

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- Two that you know of.
- Oh, Mom.

120
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Come on, don't be such a prude.

121
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I'm not gonna have any babies.

122
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I don't need these
men to take care of me.

123
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Why shouldn't I just enjoy myself?

124
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Well, it isn't very Christian of you.

125
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I got no argument there.

126
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Salute!

127
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Yeah, that fixed it.

128
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Mmm.

129
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Oh, Meemaw, no.

130
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Hey, who are you calling?

131
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Dr. Sturgis.

132
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Why?

133
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I saw Meemaw get in a car

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with Mr. Rosenbloom.

135
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No...

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I don't know if it
really happened this way,

137
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but to my nine-year-old mind,

138
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my mother was flying.

139
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So, how's the brisket?

140
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It's good.

141
00:06:05,359 --> 00:06:08,250
It ain't my brisket, but it's good.

142
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I should take you to New York

143
00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:12,197
so you could taste some
authentic Jewish brisket.

144
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How's it different?

145
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Well, it's pretty much the same except

146
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it's-it's a lot juicier
and you can feel the fat

147
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go directly to your heart.

148
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Oh, boy...

149
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I miss that laugh.

150
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So, uh...

151
00:06:27,348 --> 00:06:29,048
what do you think of that idea?

152
00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:31,917
- What idea?
- Going to New York.

153
00:06:31,919 --> 00:06:34,068
Maybe we'll catch a
couple of Broadway shows,

154
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uh, see some sights.

155
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Oh, Ira, gee...

156
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I don't know.

157
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- Seems like a big step.
- Is it?

158
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,388
I think at this time of our lives,

159
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we should travel, see the world.

160
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I guess.

161
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I mean, we're not getting any younger.

162
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What's that supposed to mean?

163
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I mean, I mean, I'm
not getting any younger.

164
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You, on the other hand,

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you are a blossoming tulip.

166
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Better.

167
00:07:03,187 --> 00:07:06,185
But I still don't understand.

168
00:07:06,188 --> 00:07:08,654
Your grandmother's a single lady.

169
00:07:08,656 --> 00:07:10,656
She's not committed to any one fella,

170
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and she wants to see
what her options are.

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But Dr. Sturgis is the best option.

172
00:07:14,929 --> 00:07:16,762
Well, you might feel that way,

173
00:07:16,764 --> 00:07:18,230
but she's not so sure.

174
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Then we need to tell
her. I'll make the call.

175
00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:22,661
No. We need to mind our business

176
00:07:22,664 --> 00:07:25,599
and maybe pray for her to
make the right decision.

177
00:07:25,602 --> 00:07:27,906
We're gonna leave this up to God?

178
00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:30,376
You think you could do
a better job than God?

179
00:07:30,378 --> 00:07:32,219
Maybe not with creating the universe,

180
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:33,621
but I bet I could free the Hebrews

181
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with one good plague.

182
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You can get lox, bagels,

183
00:07:37,469 --> 00:07:40,285
all the trimmings at
3:30 in the morning.

184
00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,721
Why would I want that?

185
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,457
Well, you wouldn't. I
mean, it's too heavy.

186
00:07:45,459 --> 00:07:46,725
But you could if you wanted.

187
00:07:47,828 --> 00:07:49,028
So, what do you think?

188
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:51,493
Oh, Ira, I don't think so.

189
00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:53,274
All right, what do you say

190
00:07:53,277 --> 00:07:55,344
to a weekend in New Orleans, huh?

191
00:07:55,347 --> 00:07:57,268
We could do one of those
Carnival Cruise things.

192
00:07:57,271 --> 00:07:59,838
You're killing me.

193
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,247
I can't do this, I...

194
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,075
Can't do what?

195
00:08:03,077 --> 00:08:06,482
Ira, you're just a wonderful man.

196
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:09,114
Oh, boy, I don't like
where this is going.

197
00:08:09,116 --> 00:08:10,794
But to tell you the truth,

198
00:08:10,797 --> 00:08:12,584
I'm seeing somebody else.

199
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,039
And we've gone there.

200
00:08:14,042 --> 00:08:17,422
I thought I could do it, uh...
you know, date both of you,

201
00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:19,805
but I-I can't, I can't, I just...

202
00:08:19,808 --> 00:08:21,926
I'm not cut out for it.

203
00:08:21,929 --> 00:08:23,954
Okay, suggestion.

204
00:08:23,957 --> 00:08:26,324
And maybe you've already
thought of this...

205
00:08:26,327 --> 00:08:28,100
but what do you say
you break up with him

206
00:08:28,102 --> 00:08:29,435
and only see me?

207
00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,240
I'm sorry.

208
00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:38,794
I thought I could handle this.

209
00:08:38,797 --> 00:08:40,379
- It's okay.
- You know,

210
00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:43,638
you get older, and you
think your skin is thicker...

211
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:45,517
- It's okay.
- and your heart is tougher.

212
00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:48,554
But it's not, it's the other way around.

213
00:08:48,556 --> 00:08:52,891
I hope this guy knows
what a gift he has in you.

214
00:08:52,893 --> 00:08:54,660
Well, "gift" is a strong word,

215
00:08:54,662 --> 00:08:56,836
but he's enthusiastic.

216
00:08:56,839 --> 00:08:57,996
Good.

217
00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:00,938
May you both be very happy together!

218
00:09:04,638 --> 00:09:07,005
I don't want to celebrate too soon,

219
00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:11,143
but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom
are back, and he was crying.

220
00:09:13,314 --> 00:09:16,227
There'll be more updates as they happen.

221
00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:25,695
I'm done.

222
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:26,959
Can I please be excused?

223
00:09:26,961 --> 00:09:29,161
Good Lord, did you even chew it?

224
00:09:29,163 --> 00:09:30,763
Not the recommended amount, no.

225
00:09:30,765 --> 00:09:31,907
What's your hurry?

226
00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,165
I need to get back to my viewing post.

227
00:09:34,168 --> 00:09:35,985
Fine, go ahead.

228
00:09:38,472 --> 00:09:40,839
What's he expect to see,
staring at Meemaw's house?

229
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,975
Did you just join this family?

230
00:09:42,977 --> 00:09:44,476
The kid's an oddball.

231
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,612
He's just excited that Meemaw's dating

232
00:09:46,614 --> 00:09:48,213
a man he looks up to.

233
00:09:48,215 --> 00:09:50,834
I wish she could date Tony
Danza... that'd be cool.

234
00:09:50,837 --> 00:09:53,037
What is it with you and Tony Danza?

235
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,521
Well, the show doesn't
come out and say it,

236
00:09:55,523 --> 00:09:57,990
but I'm pretty sure he's the boss.

237
00:09:58,925 --> 00:10:00,825
I think the blonde lady's the boss.

238
00:10:00,828 --> 00:10:01,857
Angela?

239
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,762
Who's the oddball now?

240
00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:07,943
I'm warning you,

241
00:10:07,946 --> 00:10:10,162
once you try my barbecue,

242
00:10:10,165 --> 00:10:13,279
it will ruin you to all the others.

243
00:10:13,282 --> 00:10:16,113
That's what happened to me
with quilted toilet paper.

244
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,849
Once I tried the good stuff,

245
00:10:17,852 --> 00:10:20,479
everything else felt like a Brillo pad.

246
00:10:20,481 --> 00:10:23,348
You paint quite the picture, don't you?

247
00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:26,552
Oh, gosh.

248
00:10:26,554 --> 00:10:28,320
Excuse me.

249
00:10:28,322 --> 00:10:31,594
Sheldon, this is not cute anymore.

250
00:10:33,627 --> 00:10:35,760
- Connie Tucker?
- Yes?

251
00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:37,693
I have a dinette set from
Rosenbloom's Furniture.

252
00:10:37,696 --> 00:10:38,740
Oh.

253
00:10:38,743 --> 00:10:40,133
I didn't buy any furniture.

254
00:10:40,136 --> 00:10:42,292
I think it's a gift.

255
00:10:43,237 --> 00:10:44,670
Oh, boy.

256
00:10:44,672 --> 00:10:46,371
I bent down to pick up a book,

257
00:10:46,373 --> 00:10:49,974
and I'll be darned if she didn't
sneak a look at my derriere.

258
00:10:49,977 --> 00:10:52,010
Oh, man.

259
00:10:52,012 --> 00:10:55,714
You won't believe what's
happening at Meemaw's house.

260
00:10:55,716 --> 00:10:58,150
Is it more interesting
than Who's the Boss?

261
00:10:58,152 --> 00:11:00,018
Doubt it.

262
00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:04,524
Rosenbloom's Fine
Furniture. Ira speaking.

263
00:11:04,527 --> 00:11:06,560
Why are you sending me furniture?

264
00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:09,394
I've decided I can't go away quietly.

265
00:11:09,396 --> 00:11:11,430
I'm fighting for your love.

266
00:11:11,432 --> 00:11:12,919
With a dinette set?

267
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,732
Oh, this isn't just any dinette
set. It's our biggest seller.

268
00:11:15,735 --> 00:11:17,436
And it's not pressed wood...

269
00:11:17,438 --> 00:11:19,071
It's oak!

270
00:11:19,073 --> 00:11:21,573
Ira, I don't like this.

271
00:11:21,575 --> 00:11:24,243
Would you prefer a leather sectional?

272
00:11:24,245 --> 00:11:27,227
Uh, what's going on?

273
00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:28,763
Uh,

274
00:11:28,766 --> 00:11:30,315
can I call you back?

275
00:11:30,317 --> 00:11:31,917
I look forward to it.

276
00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:33,585
You shouldn't.

277
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,880
Okay.

278
00:11:37,883 --> 00:11:39,747
I guess you could say

279
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,247
one of my former boyfriends

280
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,862
is trying to win me back with furniture.

281
00:11:43,864 --> 00:11:46,552
Huh. Impressive.

282
00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:48,400
This is real oak.

283
00:11:49,071 --> 00:11:50,869
Was that him on the phone?

284
00:11:50,871 --> 00:11:52,804
Yes. I'm sorry.

285
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:55,641
Interesting.

286
00:11:55,643 --> 00:11:57,276
What?

287
00:11:57,278 --> 00:11:59,745
Being challenged by another man

288
00:11:59,747 --> 00:12:03,248
is making you more attractive to me.

289
00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:05,107
I don't follow.

290
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:07,085
I'll have to do some research,

291
00:12:07,087 --> 00:12:11,458
but I'm guessing this
is a genetic instinct

292
00:12:11,461 --> 00:12:14,274
that's raising my libido.

293
00:12:15,963 --> 00:12:17,813
I need a drink.

294
00:12:20,884 --> 00:12:23,962
Can you believe he tried to
win me back with a dinette set?

295
00:12:23,965 --> 00:12:26,726
I'd give you a dinette
set if you'd leave Texas.

296
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,896
So, would you return it?

297
00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:30,631
Hell no, I'm keeping it.

298
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,303
But then you'll be beholden to him.

299
00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:35,337
Would you ever take Ira back?

300
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,454
I don't know.

301
00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:39,692
He's sweet as he can be, but...

302
00:12:39,695 --> 00:12:42,643
there's just something about John.

303
00:12:42,645 --> 00:12:45,346
He's like a cute little
teddy bear, you know?

304
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:46,647
A brilliant,

305
00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:48,049
bicycle-riding

306
00:12:48,051 --> 00:12:49,750
teddy bear.

307
00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:51,786
I don't even understand
half of what he says.

308
00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:53,754
But...

309
00:12:53,756 --> 00:12:56,907
when he's not around, I just miss him.

310
00:12:58,729 --> 00:13:01,528
Sounds like you're falling in love.

311
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:04,025
Maybe I am.

312
00:13:04,028 --> 00:13:06,295
Excellent. I love him, too.

313
00:13:06,298 --> 00:13:07,497
Get out of here!

314
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,626
If you don't understand
what Dr. Sturgis says,

315
00:13:09,629 --> 00:13:10,962
I'm happy to explain it to you.

316
00:13:10,965 --> 00:13:12,464
Get!

317
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:18,353
Excuse me.

318
00:13:18,356 --> 00:13:19,788
I'm looking for Ira.

319
00:13:19,791 --> 00:13:21,848
At your service. What can I do for you?

320
00:13:21,851 --> 00:13:25,286
You, sir, have overstepped your bounds.

321
00:13:25,288 --> 00:13:27,154
I'm sorry, what?

322
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:28,456
Miss Constance Tucker

323
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:31,993
made it clear your courtship
was no longer welcome,

324
00:13:31,995 --> 00:13:34,862
and you responded with six chairs,

325
00:13:34,864 --> 00:13:38,232
a table, and an expansion leaf.

326
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,867
Who are you?

327
00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:41,181
John Sturgis,

328
00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:42,900
the man she chose

329
00:13:42,903 --> 00:13:44,870
and your romantic rival.

330
00:13:44,873 --> 00:13:47,708
I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what
is it you want from me?

331
00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:50,485
I want you to give up
your pursuit of Connie.

332
00:13:50,488 --> 00:13:53,222
All right, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave my store.

333
00:13:54,384 --> 00:13:56,417
Very well.

334
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,387
The line in the sand has been drawn.

335
00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:02,009
Cross it at your own peril.

336
00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:09,100
Weirdo.

337
00:14:17,573 --> 00:14:19,173
What was that?

338
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:20,441
You heard me.

339
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:24,045
Sir, I am a man with feelings.

340
00:14:25,126 --> 00:14:27,048
And you have hurt them.

341
00:14:29,524 --> 00:14:31,818
I know you've had a number of...

342
00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:33,788
gentleman callers,

343
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,390
but I've never heard you
speak like this before.

344
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:37,868
"Gentleman callers"?

345
00:14:37,871 --> 00:14:39,592
And we wonder where Sheldon gets it.

346
00:14:40,731 --> 00:14:42,629
I'm sorry y'all find this funny,

347
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:43,764
but this is the first time

348
00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:45,923
my mother's expressed
real interest in a man

349
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,501
since Dad died.

350
00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:49,439
Forgive me for wanting to know more.

351
00:14:50,506 --> 00:14:52,506
You really want to know more?

352
00:14:53,970 --> 00:14:57,043
Imagine you're getting on in years,

353
00:14:57,046 --> 00:14:59,013
you and your husband about to retire,

354
00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:00,954
get a little timeshare in Sarasota,

355
00:15:00,957 --> 00:15:03,958
and... suddenly...

356
00:15:03,961 --> 00:15:06,094
he's gone,

357
00:15:06,097 --> 00:15:08,556
and you're all alone.

358
00:15:08,558 --> 00:15:11,058
You mourn, you cry,

359
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:14,628
but eventually you move on.

360
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:16,764
You start dating a little,

361
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:19,118
and it's all good fun.

362
00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:21,354
But always in the back of your mind,

363
00:15:21,357 --> 00:15:24,825
there's that question...

364
00:15:24,828 --> 00:15:27,790
"Will I be alone in the end?"

365
00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:36,829
Why y'all looking at me for?

366
00:15:39,335 --> 00:15:41,121
Haven't slept in days.

367
00:15:41,124 --> 00:15:42,890
It's like I'm a lovesick teenager,

368
00:15:42,892 --> 00:15:46,327
except I remember the
Truman administration.

369
00:15:46,329 --> 00:15:48,673
Your feelings are understandable.

370
00:15:48,676 --> 00:15:50,809
Connie is a remarkable woman.

371
00:15:50,812 --> 00:15:52,278
Yes, she is.

372
00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:54,735
But, again, I'm sorry. I should
never have called you weird.

373
00:15:54,738 --> 00:15:57,038
I mean, eh, it was rude.

374
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,375
I've been called much worse.

375
00:15:59,378 --> 00:16:03,844
A professor once
called me ostrobogulous.

376
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:05,251
I had to look that one up.

377
00:16:05,254 --> 00:16:06,509
What's it mean?

378
00:16:06,512 --> 00:16:08,048
That I'm a weirdo.

379
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,610
John, you're a great guy.

380
00:16:11,613 --> 00:16:13,020
Well, you, too!

381
00:16:13,022 --> 00:16:14,782
But I hope you understand, I just...

382
00:16:14,785 --> 00:16:16,360
I can't give up on Connie.

383
00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:17,562
That's all right.

384
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:18,864
To tell you the truth,

385
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:22,946
I'm finding the competition
quite exhilarating.

386
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,138
You are?

387
00:16:24,141 --> 00:16:25,485
Oh, yes.

388
00:16:25,488 --> 00:16:27,923
The night the dinette set arrived,

389
00:16:27,926 --> 00:16:31,561
I did my first push-up in 40 years.

390
00:16:33,348 --> 00:16:35,665
I'm sorry, but I find that to be, uh...

391
00:16:35,668 --> 00:16:38,068
What's the word... Astro-boobulous?

392
00:16:38,071 --> 00:16:39,860
Ostrobogulous.

393
00:16:39,946 --> 00:16:41,165
Ostrobogulous.

394
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,274
Exactly.

395
00:16:43,277 --> 00:16:46,296
Now, give me your best price

396
00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:47,831
on one of these

397
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,535
with a cup holder.

398
00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:59,425
John! What a pleasant surprise.

399
00:16:59,428 --> 00:17:02,100
- I have some news for you.
- Oh?

400
00:17:02,103 --> 00:17:03,897
- Mwah. What is that?
- Mwah.

401
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:06,900
I went to the furniture
store and spoke to Ira.

402
00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:10,194
- Why would you do that?
- To demand

403
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,936
that he respect your
wish to be left alone.

404
00:17:12,939 --> 00:17:17,410
John, it was not your place to do that.

405
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,757
Well, if it helps,

406
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,315
he doesn't plan on leaving you alone.

407
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:31,825
What the hell were you thinking?!

408
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:33,493
That I was being chivalrous.

409
00:17:33,495 --> 00:17:35,562
By going behind my back?

410
00:17:35,564 --> 00:17:37,864
You seem upset.

411
00:17:37,866 --> 00:17:39,158
I am upset!

412
00:17:39,161 --> 00:17:42,460
And how I handle Ira is my business!

413
00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:44,704
Well, I hope you do it gently.

414
00:17:44,706 --> 00:17:46,718
He's very vulnerable these days.

415
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:48,254
You're friends now?

416
00:17:48,257 --> 00:17:49,905
Well, I wouldn't say friends,

417
00:17:49,908 --> 00:17:52,577
but I could see, over time,

418
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:54,549
- you know, we might...
- Are you two fighting?

419
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:56,814
No.

420
00:17:56,817 --> 00:17:58,384
Oh, good.

421
00:17:58,387 --> 00:18:00,850
I was almost certain that we were.

422
00:18:00,853 --> 00:18:01,952
We are.

423
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,530
- I'm confused.
- Me, too.

424
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:05,525
Is this because you went
to the furniture store?

425
00:18:05,527 --> 00:18:06,693
He knows about this?

426
00:18:06,695 --> 00:18:08,197
- Yes.
- All right, now, listen,

427
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,596
if this relationship's
gonna have any chance at all,

428
00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:12,365
we have to lay down some ground rules.

429
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:13,733
Great. I love rules.

430
00:18:13,735 --> 00:18:14,983
I do, too.

431
00:18:14,986 --> 00:18:17,467
I don't want you talking
to him about anything

432
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:18,803
having to do with anything about us.

433
00:18:18,805 --> 00:18:19,804
Same with you.

434
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:20,940
And I want you to stop

435
00:18:20,942 --> 00:18:22,876
spying on me with those binoculars

436
00:18:22,878 --> 00:18:25,145
like you're on some
kind of African safari.

437
00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:26,905
And you cannot talk

438
00:18:26,908 --> 00:18:30,574
to Ira or any of my
ex-boyfriends, for that matter.

439
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,444
This list is getting long.

440
00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:34,053
Maybe we should write it down.

441
00:18:34,055 --> 00:18:35,622
Hey.

442
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:37,968
In that moment,

443
00:18:37,971 --> 00:18:39,793
I had an epiphany.

444
00:18:39,795 --> 00:18:44,531
I could draw up a contract
for any social relationship.

445
00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:48,968
It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity

446
00:18:48,971 --> 00:18:51,405
in a world that was
often hard to understand.

447
00:18:51,408 --> 00:18:53,039
Article three...

448
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:55,275
Sheldon will not spy

449
00:18:55,277 --> 00:18:58,645
on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

450
00:18:58,647 --> 00:19:00,213
Type that one in bold.

451
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:12,463
Please sign and date.

452
00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:15,290
You know, Sheldon, I'm
a notary, if that helps.

453
00:19:15,293 --> 00:19:17,452
Just when I thought
you couldn't get cooler.

454
00:19:17,455 --> 00:19:19,599
I would go on

455
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:22,691
to draw up such contracts
throughout my life...

456
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:24,327
With roommates,

457
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,986
with my wife.

458
00:19:27,754 --> 00:19:29,921
Even with my own children.

459
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,715
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