1
00:00:01,130 --> 00:00:04,813
? It seems today that all you see ?

2
00:00:04,814 --> 00:00:08,150
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?

3
00:00:08,151 --> 00:00:11,687
? But where are those
good old-fashioned values ?

4
00:00:11,688 --> 00:00:14,690
? On which we used to rely? ?

5
00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:18,193
? Lucky there's a family guy ?

6
00:00:18,194 --> 00:00:21,530
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?

7
00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,165
? All the things that make us ?

8
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,466
? Laugh and cry ?

9
00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:29,993
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?

10
00:00:29,994 --> 00:00:33,994
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -

11
00:00:34,644 --> 00:00:37,313
Hey, guys, look what I got.

12
00:00:37,314 --> 00:00:40,082
It's a magic genie speaker
that plays music, talks

13
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,518
and knows stuff, all without wires.

14
00:00:42,519 --> 00:00:43,585
But there's a wire.

15
00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:44,687
No more from you, please.

16
00:00:44,688 --> 00:00:46,255
All right, let me squinch my face up

17
00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:48,324
and put on a pair of glasses
I never wear

18
00:00:48,325 --> 00:00:50,525
to look at these directions.

19
00:00:52,562 --> 00:00:55,097
Boy, if they were giving out
medals for tiny writing...

20
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,366
Huh? Huh?

21
00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:58,867
Okay.

22
00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:01,937
Now, to activate the speaker,
you say its name.

23
00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,439
Brandee.

24
00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,342
And now, you just talk at it.

25
00:01:06,343 --> 00:01:08,510
Brandee, what's going on in the news?

26
00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:10,713
Breaking news from The Huffington Post:

27
00:01:10,714 --> 00:01:13,115
"Prince bred purple dolphins."

28
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:15,351
Wasn't there a senator shot
this morning?

29
00:01:15,352 --> 00:01:18,354
You see? Right there, this
device is a perfect example

30
00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:20,356
of how we continue to become more inept

31
00:01:20,357 --> 00:01:22,358
due to our dependency upon machines.

32
00:01:22,359 --> 00:01:24,526
There was a time, not too long ago,

33
00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:26,862
when people would talk to each other.

34
00:01:26,863 --> 00:01:29,365
Yeah, the bad times, The Sucky Ages.

35
00:01:29,366 --> 00:01:30,766
Our society is doomed.

36
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:32,901
People and technology are a bad match.

37
00:01:32,902 --> 00:01:35,537
Just like moms and Radiohead.

38
00:01:35,538 --> 00:01:37,373
Oh, no. No, no.

39
00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:38,774
This isn't music.

40
00:01:38,775 --> 00:01:40,876
No, I don't like this, David.

41
00:01:40,877 --> 00:01:42,745
No. That's enough.

42
00:01:42,746 --> 00:01:44,546
No, David, I don't like that.

43
00:01:44,547 --> 00:01:45,947
No.

44
00:01:49,953 --> 00:01:52,121
Sharon. Hey, it's Brian Griffin.

45
00:01:52,122 --> 00:01:54,957
Wondering if you were free
for dinner on Saturday.

46
00:01:54,958 --> 00:01:56,925
You died? Oh.

47
00:01:56,926 --> 00:01:58,961
So you're dead right now?

48
00:01:58,962 --> 00:02:00,262
What's that like?

49
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,499
God, why am I such a loser?

50
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,667
Possible reasons for being a loser:

51
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,404
bad breath, arrogance, unemployment...

52
00:02:08,405 --> 00:02:09,471
Okay, okay.

53
00:02:09,472 --> 00:02:11,073
This is not helping my hangover.

54
00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:14,276
The Hangover Part III available
for instant download.

55
00:02:14,277 --> 00:02:16,111
I never saw it. Is it good?

56
00:02:16,112 --> 00:02:17,446
Searching reviews.

57
00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:19,782
Top critic on Rotten Tomatoes says,

58
00:02:19,783 --> 00:02:22,618
"I walked out of the theater,
and I'm Ed Helms."

59
00:02:22,619 --> 00:02:24,486
Okay, no download, but thanks.

60
00:02:24,487 --> 00:02:26,155
Maybe you are useful.

61
00:02:26,156 --> 00:02:28,023
But I bet you can't answer
this question:

62
00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:30,192
Brandee, what is love?

63
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,761
John Lennon said, "Love is the answer."

64
00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:35,631
He also said,
"No, thanks, every hot woman,

65
00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:37,866
"I'll take this woman crawling
out of the well

66
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,269
from The Ring
who none of my friends like."

67
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,137
Yeah, I bet they were
all like, "Oh, no."

68
00:02:42,138 --> 00:02:44,373
- Downloading Yoko Ono.
- Oh, no.

69
00:02:44,374 --> 00:02:46,141
Downloading more Yoko Ono.

70
00:02:46,142 --> 00:02:47,443
No, no. No Ono.

71
00:02:47,444 --> 00:02:49,011
Downloading all Yoko Ono.

72
00:02:51,848 --> 00:02:53,115
Oh, no.

73
00:02:53,116 --> 00:02:56,350
I don't care
for this music either, David.

74
00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:02,224
Boy, you know,
I haven't stayed up all night

75
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,859
talking like that in forever.

76
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,161
And thanks for suggesting
I buy that Fitbit.

77
00:03:06,162 --> 00:03:08,464
Customers who bought Fitbit also bought

78
00:03:08,465 --> 00:03:11,400
"enormous exercise ball
that's always in the way."

79
00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:13,235
Why not? Just put it on my card.

80
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,570
Oh, good, there she is.

81
00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,572
Brandee, this is very important:

82
00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:19,141
what's the biggest poo
anyone has ever pooed?

83
00:03:19,142 --> 00:03:20,642
Come on, Peter.

84
00:03:20,643 --> 00:03:23,745
History's largest bowel movement
occurred in 1998,

85
00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,682
at a Hardee's in Memphis,
by Aretha Franklin.

86
00:03:26,683 --> 00:03:28,150
Damn, I owe Chris five bucks.

87
00:03:28,151 --> 00:03:31,252
Chris, you were right, it was '98!

88
00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:36,391
This new hat looks pretty sharp.

89
00:03:36,392 --> 00:03:37,759
I bet it does.

90
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,329
Shall I alert you when DickCaps.com

91
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,763
is having another sale?

92
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:45,099
Sure. I'll get that pre-frayed visor.

93
00:03:46,202 --> 00:03:49,438
I, um, I like you, Brandee.

94
00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:51,005
I like you, too.

95
00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:53,942
That's weird.

96
00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,077
You're on a weird date.

97
00:03:55,078 --> 00:03:56,278
Peter, what are you doing here?

98
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,846
Pulling the popcorn bucket trick
on myself.

99
00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,752
I still can't find it.

100
00:04:03,753 --> 00:04:05,853
This is humbling.

101
00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:11,093
Whoa.

102
00:04:11,094 --> 00:04:12,761
Welcome to Hodgepodge Lodge.

103
00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:14,363
What the hell is all this crap?

104
00:04:14,364 --> 00:04:15,631
Oh, just stuff Bran suggested I buy.

105
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:17,065
Ooh.

106
00:04:17,066 --> 00:04:20,536
That might be the Every
Shark Tank Item Ever Package.

107
00:04:20,537 --> 00:04:22,638
- Brian Griffin?
- Yes?

108
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:24,606
I'm from The Apache Collection Agency.

109
00:04:24,607 --> 00:04:27,441
You're way over your credit card limit.

110
00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:35,083
Whoa, h-hold on, hold on!

111
00:04:35,084 --> 00:04:36,818
I didn't buy that, Peter bought that.

112
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,987
I know, but I need one.

113
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:40,789
Brian, before I go,

114
00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,724
there's something I want to tell you.

115
00:04:42,725 --> 00:04:44,293
What? What is it?

116
00:04:44,294 --> 00:04:48,329
The Grand Canyon spans 277 miles.

117
00:04:49,432 --> 00:04:51,832
I'm gonna miss you, too, Brandee.

118
00:04:56,139 --> 00:04:57,339
Stewie, you know what?

119
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,141
It's hard being a dog.

120
00:04:59,142 --> 00:05:01,176
Maybe if you stopped feeling
sorry for yourself,

121
00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:03,412
you could actually do something
positive with your life.

122
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:04,613
Ah, forget it.

123
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,114
I'm just gonna lie down on the couch

124
00:05:06,115 --> 00:05:09,084
with my head on the armrest
to accentuate how sad I am.

125
00:05:09,085 --> 00:05:11,253
You know, Brian, if I had... aw...

126
00:05:11,254 --> 00:05:13,855
one day in your body,
I would give it back to you

127
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,524
with a new and improved life.

128
00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:17,359
You know what my response is to that?

129
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,194
A through-the-nose dog exhale.

130
00:05:24,968 --> 00:05:27,936
I realize I've wasted most of
my life being a pathetic jerk.

131
00:05:27,937 --> 00:05:30,638
You know, like you were at Disneyland.

132
00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:34,710
Hey, kid, can you duck down
for this picture?

133
00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:35,877
What? Why?

134
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:37,346
It's our family photo.

135
00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:38,814
You're kind of getting in the way.

136
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:40,549
I'm not ducking down, you duck down.

137
00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:41,717
You're getting in my way.

138
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:43,318
Stop being a brat and duck down.

139
00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:44,486
No way.

140
00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:46,487
In fact, I'm standing.

141
00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:57,833
Whoa, what's this?

142
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,001
Brian, I present to you

143
00:05:59,002 --> 00:06:01,637
my Particle Interchange Transporter.

144
00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,913
Wait, wait, wait. So when you
said "spend a day in my body,"

145
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,081
you were being literal?

146
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:14,383
That's right, Brian.

147
00:06:14,384 --> 00:06:16,918
This device will allow me
to inhabit your body,

148
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,020
and you, mine.

149
00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:19,755
That way, I can fix your life,

150
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:22,090
and then, return your body to you.

151
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,226
Now, the instructions
gave me a couple of options.

152
00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:27,062
I chose the one where my voice
will be coming from your body,

153
00:06:27,063 --> 00:06:28,163
and vice-versa.

154
00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:29,398
Still, from time to time,

155
00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:31,266
we will have to imitate
the other person's voice

156
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:33,268
to fool those
who don't know what we've done,

157
00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,736
which is everyone.

158
00:06:34,737 --> 00:06:35,804
Stewie, this is ridiculous.

159
00:06:35,805 --> 00:06:37,439
Trust me. What do you have to lose?

160
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,007
Literally nothing.

161
00:06:39,008 --> 00:06:42,177
Fine. But just for the record,
every device you've ever made

162
00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:43,945
has broken at some crucial juncture.

163
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,113
This one won't.

164
00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:46,448
All right, you talked me into it.

165
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,183
Okay, here we go.

166
00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:49,951
I'll see you on the other side...

167
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,253
of your eyes.

168
00:06:51,254 --> 00:06:53,455
Whoa.

169
00:07:19,582 --> 00:07:21,416
My hand.

170
00:07:21,417 --> 00:07:22,818
I mean, your hand.

171
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:23,919
It's mine.

172
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,920
Yes!

173
00:07:24,921 --> 00:07:27,356
Stewie, I think it worked.

174
00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:29,825
We did it. We switched bodies.

175
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,526
Wow, this is really weird.

176
00:07:31,527 --> 00:07:33,295
It feels like... hey.

177
00:07:33,296 --> 00:07:35,863
What the hell have you been
complaining about?

178
00:07:44,308 --> 00:07:47,476
I can't believe we actually
switched bodies, Stewie.

179
00:07:47,477 --> 00:07:49,178
And God, your head.

180
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:50,546
It's so heavy.

181
00:07:50,547 --> 00:07:52,048
Yeah, you got to have a wide base.

182
00:07:52,049 --> 00:07:54,984
Let the shoulders do more.

183
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:57,687
All right, all right, I think,
I think I'm getting it.

184
00:07:57,688 --> 00:07:59,822
Okay, I'm off to get you a job,

185
00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:03,725
a girlfriend,
and onto the road less scummy.

186
00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:10,166
So how exactly are you planning
to get me a job here?

187
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:11,500
It's very easy.

188
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:13,903
My research shows
that every seven minutes,

189
00:08:13,904 --> 00:08:17,073
a professor is fired for having
sex with one of his students.

190
00:08:17,074 --> 00:08:20,076
I simply wait until... oh, here we go.

191
00:08:20,077 --> 00:08:22,745
Are there any unemployed
professors here?

192
00:08:22,746 --> 00:08:24,847
Who haven't had sex with a student

193
00:08:24,848 --> 00:08:28,484
or tweeted about
assassinating the president?

194
00:08:28,485 --> 00:08:30,686
All right, it's you.

195
00:08:30,687 --> 00:08:32,388
Welcome to Poetry 101.

196
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:33,756
I'm Professor Griffin.

197
00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:35,691
Please open your books
to the introduction,

198
00:08:35,692 --> 00:08:38,226
which defines what poetry is.

199
00:08:39,162 --> 00:08:40,496
Now rip it out.

200
00:08:40,497 --> 00:08:42,064
Do we include the foreword?

201
00:08:42,065 --> 00:08:43,099
Yes, I suppose.

202
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,433
What about the preface?

203
00:08:44,434 --> 00:08:45,568
Yes, the preface, too.

204
00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:47,336
So, not the acknowledgements?

205
00:08:47,337 --> 00:08:48,604
What about the frontispiece?

206
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:50,506
- That's not even a thing.
- Yes, it is.

207
00:08:50,507 --> 00:08:52,775
It's the illustration
facing the title page.

208
00:08:52,776 --> 00:08:54,710
Just rip everything out
that's not poetry.

209
00:08:54,711 --> 00:08:56,779
You wrote on the
board, "Everything is poetry."

210
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,080
Ignore that!

211
00:08:58,081 --> 00:09:00,249
He didn't know what a frontispiece was!

212
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,484
Professor Griffin sucks!

213
00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:08,157
Frontispiece.

214
00:09:15,532 --> 00:09:16,866
What's wrong, honey?

215
00:09:16,867 --> 00:09:19,168
Well, it's a long story,
but I was really hoping

216
00:09:19,169 --> 00:09:21,404
to come home with a job
and a girlfriend today.

217
00:09:21,405 --> 00:09:24,840
I could be your girlfriend,
and give you a job.

218
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,008
Really?

219
00:09:26,009 --> 00:09:27,443
This day's starting to look up.

220
00:09:27,444 --> 00:09:29,612
Follow me into the men's room.

221
00:09:29,613 --> 00:09:31,447
Is this... is this dating?

222
00:09:31,448 --> 00:09:33,549
Is this how dating works?

223
00:09:33,550 --> 00:09:34,617
You're cute.

224
00:09:34,618 --> 00:09:36,117
I like you.

225
00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:39,789
Help! She's trying to eat me!

226
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:40,956
Get back here!

227
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:42,258
You owe me a hundred dollars!

228
00:09:42,259 --> 00:09:44,360
Anton, we got a runner!

229
00:09:44,361 --> 00:09:46,362
You better pay my wife, bitch.

230
00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:48,297
Go go, Brian dog legs!

231
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,639
Hey, how'd it go fixing my life?

232
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,807
Oh, not great.

233
00:09:57,808 --> 00:09:59,308
There's nothing I can do with this body.

234
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:01,210
Also, I know this
is a big inconvenience,

235
00:10:01,211 --> 00:10:03,813
but you and the trash guy
now wave to each other.

236
00:10:03,814 --> 00:10:04,980
Ah, really?

237
00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:06,615
It's once a week, it's not that bad.

238
00:10:06,616 --> 00:10:08,150
H-He really lit up.

239
00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:10,252
Oh, and you're gonna hate this,
but I gave him the salute,

240
00:10:10,253 --> 00:10:12,321
so you're a salute guy now.

241
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:13,756
Well, is he a veteran at least?

242
00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:14,824
Does it matter?

243
00:10:14,825 --> 00:10:16,258
You're saluting the trash guy now.

244
00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:17,660
All right, let's switch back.

245
00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:20,129
Just a few more seconds,
and we'll be back to normal.

246
00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,233
- Hey, Chris.
- Hey, four eyes.

247
00:10:24,234 --> 00:10:25,501
What did you call me?

248
00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:26,736
Oh, you're deaf, too?

249
00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:40,249
Wh-What happened?

250
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:41,751
Stewie? Is that you?

251
00:10:41,752 --> 00:10:44,353
Yes, Brian, it's...
God, that is a tight belt.

252
00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,922
How does he live like this?

253
00:10:46,923 --> 00:10:49,024
Oh. There we go.

254
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:51,494
If I'm in Chris's body,
he must be in mine.

255
00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:53,362
He's got to be freaking out.

256
00:10:53,363 --> 00:10:56,632
What the hell have you
been complaining about?

257
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:58,333
Oh, my God, Peter!

258
00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:00,870
Peter? You in there?

259
00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:02,872
I feel really weird.

260
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:05,207
What the hell's going on?
What happened to my body?

261
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:07,476
He's panicking. We can't let him
know what's going on.

262
00:11:07,477 --> 00:11:08,878
Don't worry, I got an idea.

263
00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:12,348
Peter, everything's fine.
Just look in the mirror.

264
00:11:12,349 --> 00:11:15,117
Well, here you go, about to put
you in front of the mirror.

265
00:11:15,118 --> 00:11:17,520
Right... now.

266
00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:19,288
Oh, phew, there I am.

267
00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:20,956
Hi, me!

268
00:11:20,957 --> 00:11:22,525
Okay, everything seems normal.

269
00:11:22,526 --> 00:11:25,194
Now to do my traditional "Mirror Dance."

270
00:11:25,195 --> 00:11:26,862
? There's a place in France ?

271
00:11:26,863 --> 00:11:28,697
? Where I do my mirror dance ?

272
00:11:28,698 --> 00:11:32,067
? There's a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all ?

273
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:33,702
? But the women don't care ?

274
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:35,971
? 'Cause they're dancin'
in their underwear. ?

275
00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:37,406
And their bras.

276
00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,308
Okay, that's great, Peter.
Time for your nap.

277
00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:43,913
But I'm not tired!
I want to go to the Clam and...

278
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,047
Thank God.

279
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:46,748
All right, just switch us all back.

280
00:11:48,819 --> 00:11:51,520
Oh, my God, the machine's been damaged.

281
00:11:51,521 --> 00:11:53,022
It's broken.

282
00:11:53,023 --> 00:11:55,658
Swapping four bodies
must've overloaded its system.

283
00:11:55,659 --> 00:11:57,760
If I can't fix it,
we'll be like this forever.

284
00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:59,495
This is a total disaster,

285
00:11:59,496 --> 00:12:01,597
like when the fat man
tried to keep Michael Shannon

286
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:03,531
from going insane.

287
00:12:05,569 --> 00:12:08,537
Meadows. Snowflakes.

288
00:12:08,538 --> 00:12:10,739
Breeze through a cornfield.

289
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:14,276
A soaring bird. Rain on a metal roof.

290
00:12:14,277 --> 00:12:16,745
Hey, Peter, I'm gonna need you
to fill out your time card.

291
00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:19,048
Yeah, sure, I'll have it
by the end of the day.

292
00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:24,286
It's okay.

293
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:27,722
We'll hire new people
and start again tomorrow.

294
00:12:31,595 --> 00:12:33,863
We now return to a human hand

295
00:12:33,864 --> 00:12:35,130
rolling a ball of clay.

296
00:12:35,131 --> 00:12:36,432
- Yay!
- Yay!

297
00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:38,300
Stewie, enough of that.
We have to fix the machine.

298
00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:42,271
Oh, God, the fat man's friends.

299
00:12:42,272 --> 00:12:43,939
What's the black one's name?

300
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:44,940
Cleveland.

301
00:12:44,941 --> 00:12:47,309
Cleveland, right. Cleveland!

302
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:49,612
Peter, you name-remembering
son of a gun.

303
00:12:49,613 --> 00:12:51,280
Come on, we're heading down to the Clam.

304
00:12:51,281 --> 00:12:55,484
Oh, uh, wish I could, Glenn.
Sure could go for a pomtini.

305
00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,920
But, unfortunately,
I've got to help my son Chris

306
00:12:57,921 --> 00:12:59,088
with his homework.

307
00:12:59,089 --> 00:13:00,456
Well, if you finish early...

308
00:13:00,457 --> 00:13:02,591
They've all switched bodies. Let's go.

309
00:13:02,592 --> 00:13:03,792
That was close.

310
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:05,227
All right, let's get upstairs and fix...

311
00:13:05,228 --> 00:13:07,463
Peter, come in
the kitchen, I need your help.

312
00:13:07,464 --> 00:13:09,965
What? Huh? I'm watching something.

313
00:13:09,966 --> 00:13:11,900
Oh, God, keep him busy.
I'll make this quick.

314
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:16,071
Hey, I realized I can reach
the animal crackers,

315
00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:18,574
so I'm actually gonna be a while.

316
00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:20,509
Here, load these in the car.

317
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,945
Are you going away for a long time?

318
00:13:22,946 --> 00:13:24,813
Oh, darn it. Darn.

319
00:13:24,814 --> 00:13:26,615
Please tell me you didn't forget.

320
00:13:26,616 --> 00:13:29,351
This is the weekend we're going
to Dr. Johann's retreat.

321
00:13:29,352 --> 00:13:32,922
Oh, uh, of course. Uh, remind me
what that is again.

322
00:13:32,923 --> 00:13:34,623
It's the couples' sex seminar

323
00:13:34,624 --> 00:13:37,493
where the husband learns
how to give his wife an orgasm.

324
00:13:37,494 --> 00:13:39,495
Wait, are you saying...

325
00:13:39,496 --> 00:13:41,664
we have to have sex this weekend?

326
00:13:41,665 --> 00:13:44,032
Yup. All weekend long.

327
00:13:45,835 --> 00:13:48,337
Now that's what I call a curveball.

328
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,081
Commercial!

329
00:13:58,331 --> 00:14:00,365
Peter? Everything okay?

330
00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:02,567
You hardly spoke the whole car ride.

331
00:14:02,568 --> 00:14:05,070
Uh, I-I was simply thunderstruck

332
00:14:05,071 --> 00:14:08,572
at the prospect
of intercoursing you. Darling.

333
00:14:12,612 --> 00:14:14,079
Brian, you've got to help me.

334
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,748
Lois signed us up for some
perverse, pee-pee-related class

335
00:14:16,749 --> 00:14:18,350
on the female orgasm. She's crazed.

336
00:14:18,351 --> 00:14:19,785
Wow.

337
00:14:19,786 --> 00:14:22,054
You've got to get here with
the machine so I can fix it.

338
00:14:22,055 --> 00:14:24,356
Right. So I can take your place
in Peter's body.

339
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:25,624
No! Bring everybody.

340
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,259
We've got to get things back to normal.

341
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:28,760
And hurry, she's all revved up.

342
00:14:41,474 --> 00:14:44,476
45 minutes to Weekapaug.
If we hurry, we can get there

343
00:14:44,477 --> 00:14:46,345
before Stewie's scarred for life.

344
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:48,647
Brian, it's only 10:30 a.m.

345
00:14:48,648 --> 00:14:51,116
Why does my body crave alcohol?

346
00:14:51,117 --> 00:14:52,918
That's perfectly normal
for this time of day.

347
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:55,754
I'm sweating and shaking
and planning out lies.

348
00:14:55,755 --> 00:14:57,622
Yeah, well, why do I have
the overwhelming urge

349
00:14:57,623 --> 00:15:00,125
to eat Cheetos
and masturbate in the woods?

350
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:03,829
Well, because it's 10:30 a.m.

351
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:06,497
I like us learning about each other.

352
00:15:09,469 --> 00:15:11,636
Okay, everyone, please put
your bananas and donuts

353
00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:14,339
back on the table,
we're done with that exercise.

354
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:17,174
Next, we'll focus
on the female genitalia.

355
00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:20,178
Oh, good Lord!

356
00:15:20,179 --> 00:15:24,181
I mean, va-va-voom! Right, other men?

357
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,586
I'm confused as hell,

358
00:15:27,587 --> 00:15:29,187
but I'm enjoying these graham crackers,

359
00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:30,489
so I'm not gonna say anything.

360
00:15:30,490 --> 00:15:32,323
What the hell was that?

361
00:15:33,826 --> 00:15:36,595
I think that was on purpose.

362
00:15:36,596 --> 00:15:38,497
Oh, you think I forgot about you?

363
00:15:38,498 --> 00:15:41,600
You owe my wife 100 bucks
for a lavatory misunderstanding.

364
00:15:41,601 --> 00:15:42,934
Hey, sugar.

365
00:15:42,935 --> 00:15:45,036
I've never seen you before in my life.

366
00:15:45,037 --> 00:15:47,873
Yeah, what are you even
talking... oh, Stewie.

367
00:15:47,874 --> 00:15:48,874
- Aah!
- Aah!

368
00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:51,009
Brian, we got to get out of here.

369
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:52,978
All right, let's have
an inconsistently smashed

370
00:15:52,979 --> 00:15:54,379
windshield chase.

371
00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:46,898
Joe, thank God. We need to get
to the Weekapaug Inn, fast.

372
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:48,066
Can you drive us?

373
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:50,669
No, no.

374
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,872
Oh, God, Joe's swapped bodies
with Consuela.

375
00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:55,273
That must mean...

376
00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:57,275
- Everyone's swapped bodies!
- The whole town swapped bodies!

377
00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:59,845
Damn it, I was gonna say
"the whole town."

378
00:16:59,846 --> 00:17:02,180
I'm standing here for some reason

379
00:17:02,181 --> 00:17:05,217
doing the weather
in a giant black man's body.

380
00:17:05,218 --> 00:17:07,586
What kind of a Friday is this?

381
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:08,587
Freaky!

382
00:17:08,588 --> 00:17:10,088
Back to you, Tom.

383
00:17:10,089 --> 00:17:11,590
This just in,

384
00:17:11,591 --> 00:17:15,260
all kids report to the blue van
in the park at 3:00 p.m.

385
00:17:15,261 --> 00:17:17,863
for free Popsicles.

386
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,599
What the hell? Am I doing a Madea?

387
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,935
Oh, Lord, this time
I'm gonna need a chainsaw.

388
00:17:23,936 --> 00:17:26,271
Don't do it.
Don't do what I was gonna do.

389
00:17:26,272 --> 00:17:28,807
No! No!

390
00:17:28,808 --> 00:17:31,609
You've perverted something beautiful!

391
00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:34,946
Oh, no!

392
00:17:34,947 --> 00:17:36,314
Oh, yeah!

393
00:17:36,315 --> 00:17:39,284
Ho-ho! Is funny 'cause different voices

394
00:17:39,285 --> 00:17:41,620
are coming out of different mouths.

395
00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:43,120
Ha-ha!

396
00:17:51,731 --> 00:17:53,565
Wow, what a seminar.

397
00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:56,301
That Dr. Johann sure knows his stuff.

398
00:17:56,302 --> 00:17:57,402
Get over here.

399
00:17:57,403 --> 00:17:58,737
Ugh! Gross!

400
00:17:58,738 --> 00:18:01,273
I-I mean, uh...

401
00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:02,941
Freakin' sweet, Lois.

402
00:18:02,942 --> 00:18:06,110
Uh, one moment while I Desitin
my junk in the bathroom.

403
00:18:08,581 --> 00:18:10,482
- Stewie?
- Brian, where the hell are you?

404
00:18:10,483 --> 00:18:13,151
Lois just asked me if I want to
see her kid's first apartment.

405
00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:14,819
What does that mean, Brian?

406
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,488
I'm so frightened and confused.

407
00:18:16,489 --> 00:18:18,089
We've got much bigger problems.

408
00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:20,292
We hit a telephone pole,
the machine activated,

409
00:18:20,293 --> 00:18:22,294
and it swapped everybody in town.

410
00:18:22,295 --> 00:18:25,196
Good God. We've got to fix this.

411
00:18:25,197 --> 00:18:28,700
Peter, I'm gonna
open the door with no hands.

412
00:18:32,004 --> 00:18:34,306
Listen to me, Brian,
we've got to act quickly.

413
00:18:34,307 --> 00:18:35,840
I'll walk you through the repairs.

414
00:18:35,841 --> 00:18:38,276
First, open the back panel.

415
00:18:38,277 --> 00:18:39,644
Okay, it's open.

416
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:42,147
All right, now you got to
reverse the voltage orientation

417
00:18:42,148 --> 00:18:44,382
and amplify the electron flow
to the motherboard.

418
00:18:44,383 --> 00:18:46,685
Stewie, just say it in English
or so help me God,

419
00:18:46,686 --> 00:18:48,787
I will hang up
and make you screw your mom.

420
00:18:48,788 --> 00:18:50,487
Switch the black and yellow wires!

421
00:18:53,559 --> 00:18:55,961
Stewie, I see the wires,
but Chris's pudgy fingers

422
00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:57,295
won't fit inside the panel.

423
00:18:57,296 --> 00:18:58,897
Crap. I do this all the time.

424
00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:00,198
Where's me?

425
00:19:00,199 --> 00:19:01,700
Hey, who installed this car seat?

426
00:19:01,701 --> 00:19:03,334
It's not even attached.

427
00:19:05,071 --> 00:19:07,405
One moment, dearest!

428
00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:09,374
Okay, just use his tiny hands

429
00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:11,008
to switch the black and yellow wires.

430
00:19:13,045 --> 00:19:14,879
- Okay, got it.
- I helped.

431
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,381
Great. Now we need to find

432
00:19:16,382 --> 00:19:19,050
an energy source powerful enough
to match the electrical surge

433
00:19:19,051 --> 00:19:20,986
that swapped the town
in the first place.

434
00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:23,054
According to my GPS, you're 20 feet

435
00:19:23,055 --> 00:19:25,389
from the base of
the Quahog cell phone tower.

436
00:19:27,226 --> 00:19:28,526
Okay, I think I found it.

437
00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:30,562
Now I need you to strap
the body swapper on your back

438
00:19:30,563 --> 00:19:32,163
and climb to the top of the tower.

439
00:19:32,164 --> 00:19:33,832
There's no time to waste.

440
00:19:39,605 --> 00:19:42,907
Muncha buncha Fritos!

441
00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:44,909
No!

442
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,444
Brian, hurry!

443
00:19:46,445 --> 00:19:48,246
Stewie, I'm in Chris's body.

444
00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:51,016
I'm dragging 230 pounds
of lard up a ladder.

445
00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:53,685
I'm 215, you liberal dickweed!

446
00:19:56,022 --> 00:19:59,090
Okay, I'm at the top. What now?

447
00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:00,792
Now you have to get struck by lightning.

448
00:20:00,793 --> 00:20:02,193
Well, how do I do that?

449
00:20:02,194 --> 00:20:04,129
You're an atheist, offend God.

450
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,930
Say something you couldn't say on TV.

451
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:06,931
All right.

452
00:20:06,932 --> 00:20:09,801
Hey, God. (BLEEP)

453
00:20:11,437 --> 00:20:12,970
Not me.

454
00:20:13,806 --> 00:20:16,441
You can't say that.

455
00:20:16,442 --> 00:20:19,309
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

456
00:20:30,723 --> 00:20:34,291
Oh, God. No. No!

457
00:20:51,477 --> 00:20:54,312
You didn't listen to a word
Dr. Johann said, did you?

458
00:20:54,313 --> 00:20:56,414
No, I did not.

459
00:20:56,415 --> 00:21:00,759
I mean... The movie Road House.

460
00:21:01,633 --> 00:21:05,633
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -