1
00:00:01,603 --> 00:00:03,536
That's not right.

2
00:00:03,538 --> 00:00:05,271
That's so unreasonable.

3
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:07,240
Yeah, well, if you're going
to be like this,

4
00:00:07,242 --> 00:00:09,442
then I don't want to talk
to you right now, either.

5
00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:12,245
Okay. I love you. Bye.

6
00:00:12,247 --> 00:00:15,014
Amazon customer support?

7
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:17,283
No, my mother.

8
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:20,286
Guess who she's insisting
we invite to our wedding.

9
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:21,988
Jesus?

10
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:23,923
If only.

11
00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:25,925
My brother.

12
00:00:25,927 --> 00:00:28,061
Wait a minute.
You didn't invite your brother

13
00:00:28,063 --> 00:00:29,529
to your own wedding?

14
00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:31,965
He tormented me
my whole childhood.

15
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,066
I don't think
I should reward

16
00:00:33,068 --> 00:00:34,400
that type of behavior

17
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,902
with a slice of wedding cake
in the shape

18
00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:37,670
of the Millennium Falcon.

19
00:00:37,672 --> 00:00:39,706
Try again.

20
00:00:39,708 --> 00:00:42,542
A slice of wedding cake
in the shape of a cake.

21
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,679
Look, he may have been mean
to you when you were kids,

22
00:00:46,681 --> 00:00:48,815
but you're both grown men now.

23
00:00:48,817 --> 00:00:50,717
That's right.
I'm a grown-up,

24
00:00:50,719 --> 00:00:53,253
and if I don't want to invite
him to my wedding, then I won't.

25
00:00:53,255 --> 00:00:54,888
Okay.

26
00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:55,877
Except I have to 'cause
my mommy's making me.

27
00:00:55,878 --> 00:00:59,878
? The Big Bang Theory 11x23 ?
The Sibling Realignment

28
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,928
? Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ?

29
00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:05,298
? Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ?

30
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,900
? The Earth began to cool ?

31
00:01:06,902 --> 00:01:09,435
? The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ?

32
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:12,105
? We built the Wall ?
? We built the pyramids ?

33
00:01:12,107 --> 00:01:14,774
? Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ?

34
00:01:14,776 --> 00:01:16,676
? That all started
with a big bang ?

35
00:01:16,678 --> 00:01:18,168
? Bang! ?

36
00:01:18,669 --> 00:01:23,069
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

37
00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:25,938
Okay, so each welcome bag
gets a schedule of events,

38
00:01:26,014 --> 00:01:28,080
a map, and
chocolate from me.

39
00:01:28,082 --> 00:01:31,417
And from Sheldon,
a bottle of Purell...

40
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,921
...the number for Poison
Control in case someone

41
00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:36,389
accidentally drinks the Purell,

42
00:01:36,391 --> 00:01:38,424
and a laminated

43
00:01:38,426 --> 00:01:41,027
table of elements because
the American school system

44
00:01:41,029 --> 00:01:43,129
is a failure.

45
00:01:43,131 --> 00:01:45,832
How many out-of-town guests
are there gonna be?

46
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:47,099
I'm actually not sure.

47
00:01:47,101 --> 00:01:49,035
Turns out Sheldon
didn't invite his brother.

48
00:01:49,037 --> 00:01:52,004
Mm. Now it's starting
to sound like a wedding.

49
00:01:52,006 --> 00:01:54,841
And his mom said she won't come
if his brother's not there.

50
00:01:54,843 --> 00:01:57,477
Ooh, now it's starting to sound
like a good wedding.

51
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:00,112
WOLOWITZ:
Hey, Bernie. Hey.

52
00:02:00,114 --> 00:02:03,049
How do you know
if someone has pink eye?

53
00:02:03,051 --> 00:02:06,486
Um, their eye would be red,
swollen and probably oozy.

54
00:02:06,488 --> 00:02:08,421
Okay, thanks.

55
00:02:08,423 --> 00:02:10,223
Both kids have pink eye.

56
00:02:10,225 --> 00:02:11,324
Oh, no.

57
00:02:11,326 --> 00:02:12,792
You stop right there.

58
00:02:12,794 --> 00:02:14,360
I'm getting married in a week;

59
00:02:14,362 --> 00:02:16,062
you are not giving me pink eye.

60
00:02:16,064 --> 00:02:17,330
I don't have pink eye.

61
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:19,599
Hey! Hey. Hey.

62
00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:21,267
Step away from the bride.

63
00:02:21,269 --> 00:02:24,403
(chuckles): Okay.
I'll go back upstairs.

64
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,172
Get in the shower and then take
those clothes and burn them.

65
00:02:26,174 --> 00:02:28,674
Yeah, and all the rest
of your clothes!

66
00:02:29,711 --> 00:02:32,011
Ah, worth a shot.

67
00:02:34,549 --> 00:02:38,417
So am I gonna be, like, the only
single guy at Sheldon's wedding?

68
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:39,719
No.

69
00:02:39,721 --> 00:02:41,254
There-There'll be a lot
of single people there.

70
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:44,357
Stuart, Amy's great-aunt...

71
00:02:44,359 --> 00:02:46,926
Although, Stuart's already
friended her on Facebook,

72
00:02:46,928 --> 00:02:49,495
so, better move quick.

73
00:02:49,497 --> 00:02:51,297
I got to find a date.

74
00:02:51,299 --> 00:02:53,132
I don't want to be
that sad single friend

75
00:02:53,134 --> 00:02:54,634
that everyone looks at
with pity.

76
00:02:54,636 --> 00:02:58,504
Uh, I'm-I'm afraid
that ship may have sailed.

77
00:03:00,074 --> 00:03:01,340
Leonard,

78
00:03:01,342 --> 00:03:03,142
you have a brother,
right?

79
00:03:03,144 --> 00:03:04,210
Yes.

80
00:03:04,212 --> 00:03:05,278
Is he the worst?

81
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,079
Is he an unspeakable
abomination?

82
00:03:07,081 --> 00:03:09,882
Does the very thought of him
make your skin crawl?

83
00:03:09,884 --> 00:03:12,218
Well, he laughs
at his own jokes,

84
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:13,953
but otherwise he's okay.

85
00:03:13,955 --> 00:03:15,655
Sheldon, what's going on?

86
00:03:15,657 --> 00:03:18,457
I'm trying to invite
my stupid brother to my wedding

87
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,959
and he's avoiding my calls.

88
00:03:19,961 --> 00:03:22,161
You don't know he's
avoiding your calls.

89
00:03:24,432 --> 00:03:26,198
(line ringing)

90
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,967
GEORGE JR.: Hey, you've reached
George Cooper.

91
00:03:27,969 --> 00:03:30,036
Please leave a message,
unless this is Sheldon again,

92
00:03:30,038 --> 00:03:32,471
in which case, please try me
on my other number,

93
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:35,875
1-800-suck-it.

94
00:03:38,146 --> 00:03:39,211
See?

95
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:41,013
And I know that's not
a real number

96
00:03:41,015 --> 00:03:43,015
because why would it be
toll-free?

97
00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:45,685
Sheldon, you tried.

98
00:03:45,687 --> 00:03:47,019
What more could you have done?

99
00:03:47,021 --> 00:03:48,854
Hey, why didn't you invite
him in the first place?

100
00:03:48,856 --> 00:03:51,357
You don't know what it was like
growing up with him.

101
00:03:51,359 --> 00:03:54,427
I get it; I grew up
with lots of brothers.

102
00:03:54,429 --> 00:03:56,395
My brother Adoot was
especially mean.

103
00:03:56,397 --> 00:03:58,164
Really? I've never
heard you mention Adoot.

104
00:03:58,166 --> 00:03:59,799
Yeah, sure I have.

105
00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:01,934
He's the one who left the door
open when we were kids,

106
00:04:01,936 --> 00:04:03,869
and my pet mongoose ran away.

107
00:04:04,772 --> 00:04:07,974
Stupid Adoot.

108
00:04:07,976 --> 00:04:10,776
Look, uh, short of getting
on a plane and flying there,

109
00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:12,778
what does your mother
expect you to do?

110
00:04:16,117 --> 00:04:17,416
I kept saying no.

111
00:04:17,418 --> 00:04:20,486
H-H-How am I here?

112
00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:22,788
Hey, did I tell you?

113
00:04:22,790 --> 00:04:24,056
- I found a date.
- To the wedding?

114
00:04:24,058 --> 00:04:25,491
Uh, to coffee.

115
00:04:25,493 --> 00:04:28,461
But if things go well,
Sheldon and Amy's wedding.

116
00:04:28,463 --> 00:04:30,529
Aren't you worried
it's a little intense

117
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:33,065
to ask someone you just met
to go to a wedding?

118
00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:35,635
(sighs)
I'm running out of time.

119
00:04:35,637 --> 00:04:37,269
Wh-Wh-Why can't there be
a service where you can

120
00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:40,873
just pay someone to be
your date for the evening?

121
00:04:43,077 --> 00:04:44,543
Like an escort service?

122
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:47,113
No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't
be paying for sex.

123
00:04:47,115 --> 00:04:48,481
I mean, obviously if
things went well,

124
00:04:48,483 --> 00:04:51,283
it could lead to sex,
but, but the money is for,

125
00:04:51,285 --> 00:04:53,352
like, you know, her time
and companionship.

126
00:04:53,354 --> 00:04:57,456
Oh, I get it...
an escort service.

127
00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,058
Stop saying that.

128
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,459
Stop meaning it.

129
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:04,130
WOLOWITZ: Hey, Raj, remember
when you borrowed

130
00:05:04,132 --> 00:05:05,965
my VR goggles the other day?

131
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,500
Yeah.

132
00:05:07,502 --> 00:05:10,136
(sighs)
Probably shouldn't have done that.

133
00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:19,078
So, wait, y-your
brother is Dr. Tire?

134
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,546
Yes, and, apparently,

135
00:05:20,548 --> 00:05:22,715
it only takes half a semester
of community college

136
00:05:22,717 --> 00:05:25,384
to get that
particular doctorate.

137
00:05:25,386 --> 00:05:27,953
We passed three
of these stores on the way here.

138
00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:31,524
Why did you say he's just
"some loser who sells tires"?

139
00:05:31,526 --> 00:05:33,192
You're right,
that was unfair.

140
00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:35,394
He's a loser who
sells more tires

141
00:05:35,396 --> 00:05:37,563
than anyone in Texas.

142
00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:42,101
Oh, excuse me.

143
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:43,402
Uh, we're looking
for a Georgie Cooper.

144
00:05:43,404 --> 00:05:46,305
One second, I'll check to see
if the doctor's in.

145
00:05:47,141 --> 00:05:49,241
He is not
a doctor.

146
00:05:49,243 --> 00:05:53,212
(scoffs) There's only
one doctor here and it's me.

147
00:05:53,214 --> 00:05:54,714
I'm also a doctor.

148
00:05:54,716 --> 00:05:56,115
Do you want to wait
in the car?

149
00:05:56,117 --> 00:05:59,351
I wanted to wait
in California.

150
00:05:59,987 --> 00:06:03,189
So, is this Georgie?

151
00:06:03,191 --> 00:06:04,990
Yes.

152
00:06:04,992 --> 00:06:06,592
And what is
he even using

153
00:06:06,594 --> 00:06:08,794
that stethoscope
to listen to?

154
00:06:08,796 --> 00:06:11,163
I don't know, small leak?

155
00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:14,533
All right,
that makes sense.

156
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:18,671
What the hell
are you doing here?

157
00:06:18,673 --> 00:06:19,572
Hello, Georgie.

158
00:06:19,574 --> 00:06:21,273
It's just George now.

159
00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:23,409
Fine, George.

160
00:06:23,411 --> 00:06:25,678
No, I don't like it-- Georgie.

161
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,546
I see you haven't
changed one bit.

162
00:06:27,548 --> 00:06:30,082
Thank you, that is
a nice thing to say.

163
00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:32,184
Hey, I'm Leonard.

164
00:06:32,186 --> 00:06:35,087
I'm here for-for
no reason.

165
00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:37,656
What do you want, Sheldon?

166
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,291
Why aren't you returning
my phone calls?

167
00:06:39,293 --> 00:06:40,760
You're supposed to
be the smart one;

168
00:06:40,762 --> 00:06:43,195
you figure it out.

169
00:06:43,197 --> 00:06:44,630
He's not that kind
of smart.

170
00:06:44,632 --> 00:06:46,465
You might want
to give him a hint.

171
00:06:47,502 --> 00:06:49,301
We haven't talked

172
00:06:49,303 --> 00:06:51,370
in over ten years, and now
that you need something,

173
00:06:51,372 --> 00:06:53,105
you think you can just
show up at my store?

174
00:06:53,107 --> 00:06:54,507
Well, let's just
drop everything

175
00:06:54,509 --> 00:06:56,208
to accommodate Sheldon.

176
00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:57,943
Nice try,

177
00:06:57,945 --> 00:07:00,179
but I am not a gullible
little boy anymore.

178
00:07:00,181 --> 00:07:03,115
I can recognize sarcasm.

179
00:07:03,117 --> 00:07:04,583
Okay. You're right.

180
00:07:04,585 --> 00:07:05,851
I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.

181
00:07:05,853 --> 00:07:07,052
Tell me what you need.

182
00:07:07,054 --> 00:07:08,921
Your wish is my command.

183
00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,389
That's better, thank you.

184
00:07:13,795 --> 00:07:15,961
(Skype ringing)

185
00:07:17,765 --> 00:07:19,298
Oh, my God.

186
00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:24,537
Yeah, I got it, too.

187
00:07:24,539 --> 00:07:27,773
Wow. You really can't keep
your hands off Howard, can you?

188
00:07:27,775 --> 00:07:30,709
I know, I have a problem.

189
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:33,345
I just wanted to make sure
you and Amy didn't get it.

190
00:07:33,347 --> 00:07:35,781
(quietly):
Well, I didn't get it.

191
00:07:37,118 --> 00:07:40,152
You infected me a week
before my wedding.

192
00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:43,989
What am I supposed
to do about this?

193
00:07:43,991 --> 00:07:46,559
Wear a veil?

194
00:07:46,561 --> 00:07:48,594
(laughs)

195
00:07:48,596 --> 00:07:50,563
It's not funny.

196
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,499
Look at what
you've done to me!

197
00:07:53,501 --> 00:07:55,100
Ah, hey.

198
00:07:55,102 --> 00:07:57,770
Could you just, like,
not touch my computer

199
00:07:57,772 --> 00:08:01,006
or... like, anything
else. I just, ugh,

200
00:08:01,008 --> 00:08:03,442
I don't want to look like that
in your wedding photos.

201
00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:07,379
There aren't gonna be
any wedding photos.

202
00:08:07,381 --> 00:08:09,281
My fiancé's a germophobe.

203
00:08:09,283 --> 00:08:10,549
If he finds out
I'm contagious,

204
00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:12,718
he'll never
come back from Texas.

205
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,621
What if we tell him the theme
of the wedding is Walking Dead

206
00:08:15,623 --> 00:08:18,624
and this is our zombie makeup?

207
00:08:18,626 --> 00:08:19,925
That'll probably work.

208
00:08:19,927 --> 00:08:21,360
We'll call that plan B.

209
00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:26,398
Oh, well... (clears throat)

210
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,901
Turns out this is gonna
come in handy after all.

211
00:08:31,873 --> 00:08:34,006
Hold up.
I-I'm confused.

212
00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:35,875
You didn't want me
at your wedding,

213
00:08:35,877 --> 00:08:37,376
but now
that Mom won't come,

214
00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:38,611
you want me there.

215
00:08:38,613 --> 00:08:40,913
I know you don't
hear this a lot,

216
00:08:40,915 --> 00:08:42,648
but that is exactly right.

217
00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:44,483
Good job.

218
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,353
Not helping, Sheldon.

219
00:08:47,355 --> 00:08:49,121
Listen here,

220
00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:50,990
you want me at your wedding,

221
00:08:50,992 --> 00:08:52,858
all you got to do is ask nicely.

222
00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:54,994
(sighs)

223
00:08:54,996 --> 00:08:57,162
- Georgie.
- George.

224
00:08:57,164 --> 00:08:59,331
(groans)

225
00:09:00,234 --> 00:09:04,003
I would like you
at my wedding.

226
00:09:04,005 --> 00:09:05,838
Thank you, Sheldon.

227
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,539
That is so nice to hear.

228
00:09:08,676 --> 00:09:11,110
But I would rather swallow
a pregnant wildcat

229
00:09:11,112 --> 00:09:14,313
and crap out
a litter of kittens.

230
00:09:16,017 --> 00:09:18,951
It is fitting that
you got into tires,

231
00:09:18,953 --> 00:09:21,253
because you are tiresome.

232
00:09:22,089 --> 00:09:24,290
Sheldon, come on.

233
00:09:25,359 --> 00:09:26,425
Was that too mean?

234
00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:29,261
No, not too mean,
not too good either.

235
00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:35,033
No, Mother.
That's not fair.

236
00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:37,301
But he told...

237
00:09:37,303 --> 00:09:39,403
Yes, ma'am.

238
00:09:39,405 --> 00:09:41,239
But I said...

239
00:09:41,241 --> 00:09:43,274
Yes, ma'am.

240
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:45,209
Good-bye.

241
00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:47,145
What'd she say?

242
00:09:47,147 --> 00:09:49,247
She's not getting
in the middle of it because

243
00:09:49,249 --> 00:09:52,183
we "boys need
to work it out ourselves."

244
00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:53,885
Oh, maybe it's fine if

245
00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:55,453
she doesn't come to the wedding.

246
00:09:55,455 --> 00:09:56,854
I've got Amy now,

247
00:09:56,856 --> 00:10:00,424
and she can do everything
a mom can do and more.

248
00:10:00,426 --> 00:10:02,627
Say that to her
on the wedding night.

249
00:10:02,629 --> 00:10:04,729
Really spice things up.

250
00:10:04,731 --> 00:10:07,331
This is all Georgie's fault.

251
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:09,901
My whole childhood,
he was mean to me.

252
00:10:09,903 --> 00:10:12,570
Sorry. I know what it's like
to live with a bully.

253
00:10:12,572 --> 00:10:14,906
Your brother bullied you?

254
00:10:14,908 --> 00:10:17,975
Oh, I was talking about Penny,
but sure, yeah.

255
00:10:17,977 --> 00:10:19,610
Once, when I was eight,

256
00:10:19,612 --> 00:10:21,245
I was going to dress
as my favorite scientist

257
00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:24,415
for Halloween, and
Georgie threw my costume away.

258
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,516
I had to wear a sheet

259
00:10:25,518 --> 00:10:27,552
and go as a ghost.

260
00:10:27,554 --> 00:10:29,387
Scared myself all night long.

261
00:10:31,324 --> 00:10:33,724
Well, look, we don't fly
out until the morning.

262
00:10:33,726 --> 00:10:36,627
Why don't I try and talk to him,
give it one more shot?

263
00:10:36,629 --> 00:10:39,397
All right.

264
00:10:39,399 --> 00:10:41,332
But if he says,

265
00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:44,202
- "Nerd says what," don't answer him.
- What?

266
00:10:44,204 --> 00:10:46,037
You are a lamb to the slaughter.

267
00:10:49,242 --> 00:10:51,142
So, how was
your date?

268
00:10:54,347 --> 00:10:57,982
It was going well until my eye
dripped in her latte.

269
00:10:59,853 --> 00:11:02,353
We're so sorry
we ruined your date.

270
00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:04,388
Oh, boo-hoo.

271
00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:06,858
His date got ruined.

272
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:09,760
I'm about to get married,
and look at me.

273
00:11:09,762 --> 00:11:11,762
It looks like it's
getting better.

274
00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:12,997
Oh, does it?

275
00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:16,601
Does it look like that
with your two clear eyes?

276
00:11:18,338 --> 00:11:20,705
I'm sorry. Are you mad
that I don't have pink eye?

277
00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:22,440
What do you think?
BOTH: Yes!

278
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,278
Uh-huh. Okay.
(knocking)

279
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:30,581
Okay. Uh, uh,
listen, I hear you.

280
00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:34,252
I know they're pricey,
but these are the Dallas Cowboys

281
00:11:34,254 --> 00:11:36,120
of tires, okay?

282
00:11:36,122 --> 00:11:37,688
And we're talking
the Troy Aikman Cowboys,

283
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,891
not that pretty boy Tony Romo.

284
00:11:41,027 --> 00:11:42,593
All right. Good call.

285
00:11:42,595 --> 00:11:44,295
You won't regret it.

286
00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:46,597
Boom!
(laughs)

287
00:11:46,599 --> 00:11:48,199
Wow. That was impressive.
Yeah.

288
00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:50,301
Well, it's easy
when you love your product

289
00:11:50,303 --> 00:11:52,403
and hate Tony Romo.

290
00:11:52,405 --> 00:11:53,938
(laughs)

291
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:55,706
Yeah, that guy's the...

292
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:58,809
Actually, I don't,
I don't know who that guy is.

293
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:02,280
If you are here about
Sheldon's wedding, don't bother.

294
00:12:02,282 --> 00:12:05,182
Come on. I-I know
you two have your differences.

295
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:07,184
You mean pretty much everything
about us?

296
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,086
Well, not everything.
(laughs)

297
00:12:09,088 --> 00:12:13,057
You're both tall, you
have the same last name.

298
00:12:13,059 --> 00:12:16,327
Maybe I shouldn't have
started this like it was a list.

299
00:12:16,329 --> 00:12:19,263
You have no idea
what you are talking about.

300
00:12:19,265 --> 00:12:22,300
Ooh, there--
that-that was very Sheldon.

301
00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:27,605
Look, I-I'm sure he was not
the easiest brother to have,

302
00:12:27,607 --> 00:12:29,040
but it wasn't easy
for him either,

303
00:12:29,042 --> 00:12:31,008
with you picking on him
all the time.

304
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:32,610
(laughing)

305
00:12:32,612 --> 00:12:35,546
Picking on him?
Is that what he told you?

306
00:12:35,548 --> 00:12:37,148
Well, what about the time

307
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,383
you threw away
his Halloween costume?

308
00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:43,654
Well, yeah, 'cause he was gonna
dress as some girl scientist.

309
00:12:44,824 --> 00:12:47,024
Madame Curie?

310
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:50,661
Oh, I didn't know
she was a madam.

311
00:12:52,332 --> 00:12:55,366
Come on. He was still gonna get
beat up for wearing that dress.

312
00:12:55,368 --> 00:12:56,968
Well, didn't you sit on his head

313
00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:58,836
while he tried
to watch Star Trek?

314
00:12:58,838 --> 00:13:01,973
Well, yeah,
but that was hilarious.

315
00:13:01,975 --> 00:13:04,575
That is pretty hilarious, yeah.

316
00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:06,310
Look, I mean,

317
00:13:06,312 --> 00:13:08,446
I always looked out
for him at school.

318
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:09,947
I drove him everywhere.

319
00:13:09,949 --> 00:13:12,249
I apologized to people
when he was rude.

320
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,218
Yeah. I've
done all that.

321
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:16,053
I've also removed all

322
00:13:16,055 --> 00:13:18,089
the red balloons
from his Lucky Charms

323
00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:20,591
because they weren't "Irish enough."
- All right.

324
00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:22,293
So you know
what I'm talking about.

325
00:13:22,295 --> 00:13:23,761
And has he ever thanked you?

326
00:13:23,763 --> 00:13:26,297
Not in so many words,

327
00:13:26,299 --> 00:13:28,666
or any words.

328
00:13:28,668 --> 00:13:31,302
Would it kill him
to actually say it?

329
00:13:32,171 --> 00:13:36,073
No. No, it wouldn't kill him.

330
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,243
Leonard,

331
00:13:39,245 --> 00:13:42,246
you know how
I got the money

332
00:13:42,248 --> 00:13:45,116
to open up my
first store?

333
00:13:45,118 --> 00:13:47,151
I busted my ass for it,

334
00:13:47,153 --> 00:13:50,154
'cause all the extra money
that we had had to go to Sheldon

335
00:13:50,156 --> 00:13:52,223
so he could go to
college and he could go

336
00:13:52,225 --> 00:13:54,291
study in Germany.

337
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,961
And do you know
what he's never said to me?

338
00:13:56,963 --> 00:13:59,964
Danke schon?

339
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,234
It's, uh, "thank you" in German.

340
00:14:03,236 --> 00:14:06,070
Do you need me
to sit on your head?

341
00:14:06,072 --> 00:14:08,639
Nope.

342
00:14:08,641 --> 00:14:10,641
After all my sacrifices,

343
00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:13,911
guess which kid
my mom is the most proud of.

344
00:14:15,782 --> 00:14:17,748
If it makes you feel any better,

345
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:20,951
my mom's most proud
of Sheldon, too, so...

346
00:14:21,721 --> 00:14:22,953
Leonard,

347
00:14:22,955 --> 00:14:24,488
you want a beer?

348
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:26,524
Yeah, I would love a beer.

349
00:14:26,526 --> 00:14:28,292
There you go.

350
00:14:28,294 --> 00:14:30,661
Thanks. Can you open it for me?
No, it's a twist-off.

351
00:14:30,663 --> 00:14:32,630
I know.

352
00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,474
Hey!

353
00:14:43,476 --> 00:14:46,777
I got all the beads
to the other side.

354
00:14:48,081 --> 00:14:50,114
It's not a puzzle, Penny.

355
00:14:50,116 --> 00:14:52,883
Do you really want
to be touching that?

356
00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:54,885
Do you know how
many sick kids...?

357
00:14:54,887 --> 00:14:57,688
You know, never mind.
Knock yourself out.

358
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,090
(phone chimes)

359
00:14:59,092 --> 00:15:01,759
Bernadette says
they're checking the kids now.

360
00:15:01,761 --> 00:15:03,928
You know, maybe
we didn't all need to come.

361
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:06,997
Hey, whatever kind of pink eye
their kids have, I have,

362
00:15:06,999 --> 00:15:08,666
and I need to know.

363
00:15:08,668 --> 00:15:11,102
And if it's viral, I'm screwed.

364
00:15:11,104 --> 00:15:14,338
Maybe not. You know, I know it's
not traditional wedding attire,

365
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,907
but how about
a welder's mask?

366
00:15:16,909 --> 00:15:18,142
KOOTHRAPPALI:
If you know

367
00:15:18,144 --> 00:15:20,544
a welder, that could be
your "something borrowed."

368
00:15:21,914 --> 00:15:23,080
(door opens)

369
00:15:23,082 --> 00:15:24,915
Great news! It's bacterial!

370
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:26,083
- Yeah! - Yeah.
- Yes!

371
00:15:26,085 --> 00:15:27,551
- Yeah. - Yes.
(whooping)

372
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,153
What are you doing?!
Wash your hands!

373
00:15:29,155 --> 00:15:31,322
Oh.
Not you.

374
00:15:34,227 --> 00:15:36,093
Hello. Room service?

375
00:15:36,095 --> 00:15:39,497
I'm calling about
the club sandwich on your menu.

376
00:15:39,499 --> 00:15:41,866
No, I-I don't want one.

377
00:15:41,868 --> 00:15:44,201
I just want you
to spell it correctly.

378
00:15:45,605 --> 00:15:48,606
Unless the "club"
is the Poor Typing Club.

379
00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:50,307
Okay.

380
00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:55,746
Now let's discuss
this 15% "gratooty"?

381
00:15:56,816 --> 00:15:59,783
Yeah-- well, that was rude.

382
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,553
Someone just lost
their gratooty.

383
00:16:02,555 --> 00:16:03,721
(sighs)

384
00:16:03,723 --> 00:16:07,224
Sheldon, you need
to apologize to your brother.

385
00:16:07,226 --> 00:16:09,226
- I'm sorry?
- Yes.

386
00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:11,595
Like that, but nicer,
and that way.

387
00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:14,398
I have nothing
to apologize for.

388
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,500
(scoffs)
I told you this was a bad idea.

389
00:16:16,502 --> 00:16:18,235
Sometimes you
can't patch a tire.

390
00:16:18,237 --> 00:16:20,337
You just got to
buy a new one.

391
00:16:20,339 --> 00:16:21,839
Actually, that's
always the case.

392
00:16:21,841 --> 00:16:24,475
Never patch, buy new.

393
00:16:24,477 --> 00:16:27,845
While I appreciate
your folksy tire wisdom,

394
00:16:27,847 --> 00:16:30,548
I don't appreciate what
you're putting Mom through.

395
00:16:30,550 --> 00:16:32,216
What would you know
about what Mom's been through?

396
00:16:32,218 --> 00:16:33,384
You were never home.

397
00:16:33,386 --> 00:16:34,485
Yeah, this is good.

398
00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:36,420
- Get it all out.
- Not now! - Shut up!

399
00:16:36,422 --> 00:16:39,156
You went away to
college after Dad died.

400
00:16:39,158 --> 00:16:40,858
Who do you think took
care of everything?

401
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:44,695
Mom did. Mom always
took care of everything.

402
00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:47,331
Mom was a mess, Missy
was a dumb teenager.

403
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:49,466
I had to look
after both of 'em.

404
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:51,068
I talked to Mom
all the time.

405
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:53,037
If she was upset,
she would have told me.

406
00:16:53,039 --> 00:16:55,706
She was protecting
you, you idiot,

407
00:16:55,708 --> 00:16:57,474
just like everyone
always does.

408
00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,510
If things were bad,

409
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:00,578
then why didn't you tell me?

410
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:03,113
Because I was
protecting you, too.

411
00:17:03,115 --> 00:17:04,815
(sighs)

412
00:17:06,285 --> 00:17:08,052
You're my baby brother, Sheldon.

413
00:17:08,054 --> 00:17:10,988
I know life has been
hard for you,

414
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:14,925
but that don't mean it's been
easy for the rest of us.

415
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:20,864
I suppose I didn't think about
how it was for everyone else.

416
00:17:20,866 --> 00:17:22,866
No, that's all right.

417
00:17:22,868 --> 00:17:25,569
I know you didn't.

418
00:17:26,472 --> 00:17:28,739
I'm sorry.

419
00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:31,742
Thank you.

420
00:17:31,744 --> 00:17:34,912
And it would
mean a lot to me

421
00:17:34,914 --> 00:17:37,514
to have my big brother
at my wedding.

422
00:17:41,153 --> 00:17:43,354
I wouldn't miss it.

423
00:17:49,328 --> 00:17:52,296
(voice breaking): Is it me,
or did we just patch a tire?

424
00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:58,502
He said, "Never patch."
Do you even listen?

425
00:18:03,738 --> 00:18:06,573
(Skype ringing)

426
00:18:06,575 --> 00:18:10,844
Hey, how's it going?

427
00:18:10,846 --> 00:18:12,479
Really good.

428
00:18:12,481 --> 00:18:14,781
Georgie's going to come
to the wedding.

429
00:18:14,783 --> 00:18:16,282
Oh, that's great!

430
00:18:16,284 --> 00:18:18,254
Why aren't you looking
at the camera?

431
00:18:18,255 --> 00:18:22,958
Oh, you know, I'm just working
on my peripheral vision.

432
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,760
Well, that is nonsense.

433
00:18:24,762 --> 00:18:27,195
Your peripheral vision is fine.

434
00:18:27,197 --> 00:18:29,298
Are those women's magazines
making you feel bad

435
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,300
about yourself again?

436
00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:35,971
Yup, that is what's happening.

437
00:18:35,973 --> 00:18:39,041
I have told you before,
those women are airbrushed

438
00:18:39,043 --> 00:18:42,644
to make it look like
they have good vision.

439
00:18:42,646 --> 00:18:45,013
Hey, I-I was thinking,

440
00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:47,249
now that you and your brother
made up,

441
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,017
there's no reason to rush home.

442
00:18:49,019 --> 00:18:50,852
Maybe you and Leonard could,

443
00:18:50,854 --> 00:18:52,921
could stay for, uh...

444
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:57,592
two to three more
fun-filled days there.

445
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:00,529
That's a great idea!

446
00:19:00,531 --> 00:19:02,264
Hey, Leonard, good news.

447
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:05,834
We do have time to visit the
Museum of the American Railroad!

448
00:19:06,837 --> 00:19:09,838
I'd say no,
but what's the point?

449
00:19:15,379 --> 00:19:17,879
Ooh. You might not want
to get too close.

450
00:19:17,881 --> 00:19:19,915
Pink eye.

451
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:23,151
Me, too!

452
00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:25,687
- Bacterial?
- Yeah.

453
00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:28,290
Same!
(laughs)

454
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,525
I-I know this is gonna
sound crazy, but...

455
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:32,928
would you be interested in
going to a wedding with me?

456
00:19:34,828 --> 00:19:41,728
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man