1
00:00:00,380 --> 00:00:02,211
It was a beautiful morning

2
00:00:02,214 --> 00:00:03,921
in East Texas.

3
00:00:07,492 --> 00:00:10,012
The kind of morning that
made you want to get up,

4
00:00:10,015 --> 00:00:13,207
get dressed and test that acceleration

5
00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:17,901
due to gravity does not
depend on an object's motion.

6
00:00:17,904 --> 00:00:19,536
I love Saturdays.

7
00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:22,715
The Earth causes the same
gravitational acceleration

8
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,715
of everything,

9
00:00:23,718 --> 00:00:26,675
even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball.

10
00:00:26,677 --> 00:00:28,614
It's not often a man of science

11
00:00:28,617 --> 00:00:32,381
gets to say "Yippee
ki-yay," and mean it, but...

12
00:00:32,383 --> 00:00:34,283
Yippee ki-yay.

13
00:00:38,389 --> 00:00:39,617
Morning, Herschel.

14
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,968
Hey, George. Uh, you didn't see a dog

15
00:00:41,971 --> 00:00:43,661
wandering around here, did you?

16
00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:45,382
No. Y'all get a dog?

17
00:00:45,385 --> 00:00:47,562
Uh, sort of. We took him
in after my brother-in-law

18
00:00:47,565 --> 00:00:50,132
had to go live in a gated community.

19
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:53,035
Oh, that sounds nice, uh,
they got a no pets policy?

20
00:00:53,037 --> 00:00:54,082
He's in jail, George.

21
00:00:54,085 --> 00:00:55,104
Right, sure.

22
00:00:55,106 --> 00:00:56,372
In physics,

23
00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:57,673
nothing feels better

24
00:00:57,675 --> 00:00:59,442
than predicting an outcome.

25
00:00:59,445 --> 00:01:01,184
I love predictability.

26
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:03,437
The force of gravity: predictable.

27
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,840
Nuclear fusion: predictable.

28
00:01:05,843 --> 00:01:08,176
My brother peeing in the shower:

29
00:01:08,179 --> 00:01:10,340
repulsive, but predictable.

30
00:01:10,343 --> 00:01:12,231
What isn't predictable:

31
00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:14,290
dogs.

32
00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:16,637
I've always been terrified of dogs.

33
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,429
To me, they're nothing but
big, furry question marks.

34
00:01:20,431 --> 00:01:22,332
Question marks with teeth.

35
00:01:28,304 --> 00:01:32,520
In panic situations, I'd
often lose consciousness.

36
00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:36,473
This time, I only lost my voice.

37
00:01:36,476 --> 00:01:37,817
Help.

38
00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:40,364
Please help.

39
00:01:51,476 --> 00:01:57,899
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
... www.Addic7ed.com ...

40
00:01:57,902 --> 00:01:59,825
Uh, I was just admiring

41
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,438
Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.

42
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,073
Smurf-a-loo-loo.

43
00:02:04,075 --> 00:02:05,395
That's not my walking stick.

44
00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:06,473
Lunch is ready.

45
00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:07,843
Can you go get your brother?

46
00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:09,378
I'm watching TV.

47
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,779
Just go.

48
00:02:10,781 --> 00:02:14,383
I have to do smurfing
everything around here.

49
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:15,951
I heard that.

50
00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:17,500
I said "smurfing."

51
00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:19,388
And I heard how you said it.

52
00:02:20,925 --> 00:02:23,259
She can cut her own crusts off.

53
00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,127
Sheldon?

54
00:02:25,129 --> 00:02:27,529
Who are you?

55
00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:29,309
You're so cute.

56
00:02:29,312 --> 00:02:31,867
Be careful.

57
00:02:31,869 --> 00:02:33,606
What are you doing up there?

58
00:02:33,609 --> 00:02:35,404
Staying alive.

59
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,820
Whose dog is this?

60
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,741
I don't know. Get help.

61
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:40,309
Well, how did he get into the garage?

62
00:02:40,311 --> 00:02:42,444
Please get help.

63
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:43,579
Maybe we can keep it.

64
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,681
I'm begging you, get help now.

65
00:02:45,683 --> 00:02:48,417
First, I have to tell you something.

66
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:49,785
What?

67
00:02:49,787 --> 00:02:51,687
Lunch is ready.

68
00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:57,660
Will you look at that?

69
00:02:57,662 --> 00:02:59,348
What kind of dog chews through wood?

70
00:02:59,351 --> 00:03:00,963
Y'all are feeding him, right?

71
00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:02,328
Maybe he's teething.

72
00:03:02,331 --> 00:03:03,599
You know, when Billy was little,

73
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,122
he chewed right through his playpen.

74
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,395
- No kidding?
- Only had three teeth.

75
00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:09,271
Mostly gummed it.

76
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,607
So how y'all want to fix it?

77
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,975
Well, I figure I'll patch it,

78
00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:14,856
run some chicken wire
along the bottom...

79
00:03:14,859 --> 00:03:16,712
That way, he don't
chew through it again.

80
00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:19,615
Hello.

81
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,050
- Hey.
- Hey, Billy.

82
00:03:21,052 --> 00:03:23,962
Was this fence window always here?

83
00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:28,457
No, son, that's a new fence window.

84
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:32,061
Anybody else getting dizzy?

85
00:03:44,313 --> 00:03:46,309
Why didn't you call for help?

86
00:03:46,312 --> 00:03:49,144
I tried, but no sound came out.

87
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,679
You poor thing.

88
00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:52,223
It was very dirty up there.

89
00:03:52,226 --> 00:03:54,750
Is cleaning the garage
your job or Dad's?

90
00:03:54,752 --> 00:03:56,076
Don't you worry about that.

91
00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:57,411
Here, have some tea.

92
00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:58,987
- Chamomile?
- Yes.

93
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,022
One teaspoon of honey?

94
00:04:00,024 --> 00:04:01,098
Yes.

95
00:04:01,101 --> 00:04:02,491
An ice cube to cool it off?

96
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,153
I went with two today.

97
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,859
You've been through enough.

98
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,134
I prefer one ice cube.

99
00:04:12,136 --> 00:04:13,669
Drink it.

100
00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,028
It's nice when the kids are in bed,

101
00:04:18,031 --> 00:04:21,343
and we can just hang out and relax.

102
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:24,313
I'm not even gonna respond to that.

103
00:04:24,315 --> 00:04:26,849
I finally got him asleep.

104
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,473
He's still pretty shook up.

105
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,651
Maybe having

106
00:04:29,653 --> 00:04:31,620
this mutt next door won't be so bad.

107
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,655
Shelly could end up getting used to it.

108
00:04:33,657 --> 00:04:34,857
That's true.

109
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,162
Remember when he got all freaked out

110
00:04:36,164 --> 00:04:37,934
by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt?

111
00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:39,528
Now he eats it no problem.

112
00:04:39,531 --> 00:04:41,268
He still makes me stir it.

113
00:04:41,271 --> 00:04:42,404
Maybe you could start out

114
00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,231
with a small pet, and work your way up.

115
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:45,334
Like a turtle.

116
00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:47,169
He says they carry salmonella.

117
00:04:47,171 --> 00:04:48,203
A gerbil?

118
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,038
Apparently, they caused the plague.

119
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,484
What about a bird?

120
00:04:51,487 --> 00:04:52,674
Oh, I know that one.

121
00:04:52,676 --> 00:04:54,877
They'll steal his hair to make a nest.

122
00:05:09,771 --> 00:05:11,871
Mom!

123
00:05:11,874 --> 00:05:15,348
At least this time, sound came out.

124
00:05:15,351 --> 00:05:18,319
I call that progress.

125
00:05:27,258 --> 00:05:28,558
What's going on?

126
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,126
Your dog got into our house.

127
00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:31,480
How the hell did he do that?

128
00:05:31,483 --> 00:05:33,176
He pushed in a screen window.

129
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:35,001
You think he chewed
through the fence again?

130
00:05:35,004 --> 00:05:37,329
All I know is Sheldon's
yelling at the dog,

131
00:05:37,332 --> 00:05:38,946
and Mary's yelling at me.

132
00:05:38,949 --> 00:05:40,777
Now I'm looking at
you in your underwear.

133
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:42,863
Damn it, Herschel, what is going on?

134
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:45,474
- Oh, hey, George.
- Hey, Brenda.

135
00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:47,110
Bucky got in their house.

136
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,121
That's funny.

137
00:05:48,124 --> 00:05:51,092
It might be funny one
day, not right now.

138
00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,448
Look, I'm real sorry, George.

139
00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:54,417
I'll keep him tied up,
it won't happen again.

140
00:05:54,419 --> 00:05:55,918
Y'all have a good night.

141
00:05:55,921 --> 00:05:57,087
George!

142
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,074
You are not gonna believe this. Look.

143
00:05:59,077 --> 00:06:01,991
Their dog left a dead
squirrel in our living room.

144
00:06:01,993 --> 00:06:04,274
Well, h-he is part hunting dog.

145
00:06:04,277 --> 00:06:05,860
I think that means he likes you.

146
00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:07,824
I'm not interested in
winning his affection.

147
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:11,019
I'm interested in keeping dogs
and rodents outside of my home.

148
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,255
Well, now, hold on.

149
00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:13,636
How do we know it was Bucky that left

150
00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:14,904
that squirrel in your house?

151
00:06:14,906 --> 00:06:16,906
Maybe that squirrel was already there.

152
00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:20,443
Why else would a dead
squirrel be in my living room?

153
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:22,211
I don't know what
kind of house you keep.

154
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,965
My house is immaculate.

155
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,482
- George, tell them.
- Uh...

156
00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:28,097
She does keep a nice house.

157
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,552
Honey, it's a pretty
good chance it was Bucky.

158
00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:32,876
- Whose side are you on?
- Yours, always yours.

159
00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:34,699
All right. Everyone's upset, it's late.

160
00:06:34,702 --> 00:06:36,559
Maybe we should drop this for tonight?

161
00:06:36,561 --> 00:06:38,090
That's a good idea. Okay.

162
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,969
You just keep your dog away from my son.

163
00:06:39,972 --> 00:06:41,991
- There you go picking it up again.
- I am sorry,

164
00:06:41,994 --> 00:06:43,360
but their dog broke into our home.

165
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:45,509
Something he probably
learned from your brother.

166
00:06:45,512 --> 00:06:46,746
How dare you.

167
00:06:46,749 --> 00:06:49,183
Okay, I think that's
a good stopping point.

168
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:50,940
How do we know that your son didn't

169
00:06:50,942 --> 00:06:54,143
lure Bucky in to perform weird
science experiments on him?

170
00:06:54,145 --> 00:06:57,479
My son was asleep in his bed,
and you have some nerve...

171
00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:00,616
Oh, oh, oh! Oh!

172
00:07:00,618 --> 00:07:02,218
Night, George!

173
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:03,319
Night!

174
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,558
I don't understand why that dog

175
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,193
is so interested in Sheldon.

176
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:13,763
Maybe Bucky likes the
way Sheldon smells?

177
00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,698
Your brother washes
himself three times a day.

178
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,955
He has no smell.

179
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,851
Here we go: animal control.

180
00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:20,187
Oh, no, no.

181
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,737
No, you don't want to go
calling animal control.

182
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,588
- Why not?
- Because,

183
00:07:24,591 --> 00:07:27,275
you have to live next
door to these people.

184
00:07:27,278 --> 00:07:31,412
They called the cops on Georgie
when he played music too loud.

185
00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:34,345
Maybe it was them, maybe it was me.

186
00:07:34,348 --> 00:07:35,623
Anyway, the point is,

187
00:07:35,626 --> 00:07:36,857
you don't can't go throwing

188
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:38,321
gasoline on the fire.

189
00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:39,622
Well, they started this fire,

190
00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:41,324
and now, they're gonna get burned.

191
00:07:41,326 --> 00:07:43,859
I believe you've had enough coffee.

192
00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:46,837
Listen, why don't you
let me talk to Brenda,

193
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,235
and just smooth things out?

194
00:07:48,238 --> 00:07:49,732
Why do you think she'll listen to you?

195
00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:52,201
Because people like me more than you.

196
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:54,270
People like me.

197
00:07:54,272 --> 00:07:56,505
I didn't say they don't,
they just like me more.

198
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:57,521
Anyway,

199
00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,108
I see her all the time at bowling.

200
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,876
I know how to handle her.

201
00:08:00,878 --> 00:08:02,111
Fine.

202
00:08:02,113 --> 00:08:03,657
Thank you.

203
00:08:08,493 --> 00:08:10,360
Plenty of people like me.

204
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:18,427
Hey, Brenda, how's it going?

205
00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:21,931
Your daughter's a pain in my
ass, that's how it's going.

206
00:08:23,935 --> 00:08:25,334
You don't beat around the bush.

207
00:08:25,336 --> 00:08:27,134
I've always liked that about you.

208
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:29,105
Connie, I've had a long night.

209
00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:31,707
Unless you're looking to
bowl, I don't want to hear it.

210
00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:33,175
Aw, now, come on.

211
00:08:33,177 --> 00:08:35,878
Let me buy you a drink,
and we'll talk about this.

212
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,347
I'm more on your side than you think.

213
00:08:38,349 --> 00:08:39,448
Somehow,

214
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,817
- I doubt that.
- It's true.

215
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:45,587
Don't you think I realize
that Mary can be a bit...

216
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,256
Of a self-righteous bitch?

217
00:08:47,258 --> 00:08:50,349
I was gonna say "challenging,"
but sure, let's go with yours.

218
00:08:50,352 --> 00:08:51,845
It's got a nice rhythm.

219
00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:55,431
Mmm.

220
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,999
Brenda, this is, by far,

221
00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:59,602
the best bowling alley
margarita in town.

222
00:08:59,604 --> 00:09:00,821
How long

223
00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:03,220
you and Herschel been
married? 18, 19 years?

224
00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,430
19, but it feels like 30.

225
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:08,177
Well, y'all are a great couple.

226
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:09,311
Eh.

227
00:09:09,313 --> 00:09:10,846
I just wanted to thank you

228
00:09:10,848 --> 00:09:13,582
for being so patient and kind
to my daughter and her family

229
00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:15,017
since they moved in.

230
00:09:15,019 --> 00:09:16,819
- It's nothing.
- No,

231
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,365
it needs to be said.

232
00:09:18,368 --> 00:09:21,357
You know, Mary has a tough
job raising those three kids,

233
00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:24,794
with one of them being,
you know, somewhat special.

234
00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:26,695
- I can see that.
- Yeah.

235
00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:30,199
And having a kind neighbor makes
all the difference in the world.

236
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:31,467
Well, we try.

237
00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,703
And I know you know how stressful it is,

238
00:09:34,705 --> 00:09:36,572
seeing as how you have your own child

239
00:09:36,574 --> 00:09:39,608
who is special in his own way.

240
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:41,310
What's that supposed to mean?

241
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:45,459
Well, I mean, hey, I know
Billy is a terrific little boy,

242
00:09:45,462 --> 00:09:48,617
but I am sure he has
presented you and Herschel

243
00:09:48,619 --> 00:09:50,386
with some challenges.

244
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:52,756
If there's a weird kid
in the neighborhood,

245
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,240
it's your grandson.

246
00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:57,766
Now, hang on, I said
"special," not "weird."

247
00:09:57,769 --> 00:09:58,961
I heard you.

248
00:09:58,963 --> 00:10:00,296
I said "weird."

249
00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:01,954
Okay, see now, Brenda,

250
00:10:01,957 --> 00:10:04,100
you don't want to go
calling my grandson weird

251
00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:06,702
when I've just treated
you to a margarita grande.

252
00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:09,071
Well, I'm sorry, but you
shouldn't be inferring

253
00:10:09,073 --> 00:10:11,107
there's something wrong with my Billy.

254
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,209
Darlin', there's no inferring.

255
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,144
I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt

256
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:17,345
eating his own belly button lint.

257
00:10:25,456 --> 00:10:27,890
Really, Mom? This is
how you put out the fire?

258
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:30,204
Well, at least she got the worst of it.

259
00:10:30,207 --> 00:10:31,627
How you figure that?

260
00:10:31,629 --> 00:10:34,396
I ripped a big patch
of hair out of her head.

261
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,298
This will be healed in a week.

262
00:10:37,301 --> 00:10:40,268
She will be wearing
a hat till Labor Day.

263
00:10:41,543 --> 00:10:43,505
I want to be just like
you when I grow up.

264
00:10:43,508 --> 00:10:45,204
- No, you don't.
- Pick again.

265
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,670
Excuse me, Ms. Hutchins?

266
00:10:57,673 --> 00:10:58,837
Hey, Sheldon.

267
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,723
Can you recommend any
books on overcoming phobias?

268
00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,141
That's in the self-help section.

269
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:06,978
Follow me, I have read them all.

270
00:11:06,981 --> 00:11:09,834
- Any phobia in particular?
- Dogs.

271
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,201
Ah, cynophobia. That's a good one.

272
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,610
Did you know there's
over 50 million dogs

273
00:11:14,613 --> 00:11:16,396
just in the United States alone?

274
00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:18,438
That's 50 million too many.

275
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:21,510
Here. I read this one to
help with my haphephobia.

276
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:25,581
Ah, fear of being touched. I
have that, too. Was it useful?

277
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:29,131
Well, when someone's
interested in touching me,

278
00:11:29,134 --> 00:11:30,719
we'll find out.

279
00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:34,884
The basic premise

280
00:11:34,887 --> 00:11:36,610
of the book was that phobias

281
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,060
were overcome by
taking incremental steps

282
00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:41,532
toward confronting
the phobia in question.

283
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,700
In my case, that started
with watching a TV show

284
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,303
that was adored by
children around the world,

285
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,639
but for me, was the stuff of nightmares.

286
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:53,275
Scooby-Doo!

287
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,368
The next step was to go face-to-face

288
00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:59,039
with real dogs.

289
00:11:59,042 --> 00:12:01,776
Albeit through a plate-glass window.

290
00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:03,178
Okay, that's enough.

291
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,423
And finally,

292
00:12:04,426 --> 00:12:07,227
a close encounter of the third kind,

293
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:11,045
physical contact with a
member of the canine species.

294
00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:14,384
Hello, I'd like to speak
with the veterinarian.

295
00:12:14,387 --> 00:12:16,720
Well, I was hoping you
might have one or two dogs

296
00:12:16,723 --> 00:12:19,727
under anesthesia that
I might come by and pet.

297
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:21,703
Sure, I'll hold.

298
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:23,706
Who are you talking to?

299
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,874
The Medford Veterinary Clinic.

300
00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,055
Why?

301
00:12:27,058 --> 00:12:28,774
I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs

302
00:12:28,777 --> 00:12:30,876
before it affects our
family any further.

303
00:12:30,879 --> 00:12:34,310
Oh, honey, you don't have to
worry about how it affects us.

304
00:12:34,313 --> 00:12:36,986
Meemaw got punched in
the face because of me.

305
00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:40,990
No, that wasn't because
of you, and for the record,

306
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,192
your meemaw gets punched
in the face all the time.

307
00:12:43,194 --> 00:12:44,735
Well, I still think I need to take

308
00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,423
some sort of positive action.

309
00:12:46,426 --> 00:12:48,518
- Hello?
- Yes, hello?

310
00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:50,232
Oh, that's too bad.

311
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:53,748
How about a small fluffy one
that's recently died of old age?

312
00:12:53,751 --> 00:12:55,371
Enough.

313
00:12:55,373 --> 00:12:58,073
Sorry.

314
00:13:01,857 --> 00:13:04,805
Now, it says here in Mark 12:31

315
00:13:04,808 --> 00:13:06,821
that you should "Love your neighbor

316
00:13:06,824 --> 00:13:08,342
as yourself."

317
00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:11,312
Anybody like to take a
guess what that means? Missy?

318
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:14,348
It means to be nice to the
people who live next door.

319
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,483
That's right.

320
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:17,269
But everybody else can go to hell.

321
00:13:17,272 --> 00:13:20,321
Okay, Missy, we don't use
that kind of language here.

322
00:13:20,324 --> 00:13:22,347
And if you think about
it, in this world,

323
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:26,660
with all the ways we can travel,
everybody's your neighbor.

324
00:13:26,663 --> 00:13:28,129
Yes, Sheldon.

325
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:29,697
How do we love our neighbors

326
00:13:29,699 --> 00:13:31,532
when our moms hate each other?

327
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:33,768
- Who does your mom hate?
- Your mom.

328
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:36,580
Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.

329
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,406
Okay, let's hang on a second.

330
00:13:38,408 --> 00:13:40,074
My mom also hates their grandma.

331
00:13:40,076 --> 00:13:41,780
'Cause she lost a fight to her.

332
00:13:41,783 --> 00:13:44,213
Nuh-uh, she won. She said so.

333
00:13:44,216 --> 00:13:46,347
All right, stop. Let's stop.

334
00:13:46,349 --> 00:13:48,486
Now this might be hard to understand,

335
00:13:48,489 --> 00:13:50,523
but living a loving, Christian life

336
00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:52,924
isn't always the easiest thing to do.

337
00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:55,523
Yes, Billy.

338
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:58,221
My mom's not crazy about you either.

339
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:03,799
Just love your neighbor, 'kay?

340
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,470
Now, I am more than willing
to look the other way

341
00:14:06,473 --> 00:14:08,702
when my parishioners don't
get along with each other.

342
00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:11,492
That sort of thing happens,
but when it becomes a problem

343
00:14:11,495 --> 00:14:14,163
for the children, then
I have to intervene.

344
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,344
There's no problem here,

345
00:14:16,346 --> 00:14:18,713
other than these two thinking
that they're better than me.

346
00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:20,114
I don't think it, I know it.

347
00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:21,616
I gave your mother a good smacking.

348
00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:22,817
I can give you one, too.

349
00:14:22,819 --> 00:14:25,152
That's big talk from
somebody with a comb-over.

350
00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:26,420
Ladies.

351
00:14:26,422 --> 00:14:28,589
Do I need to remind you
that we are Christians?

352
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,632
In all our behavior, in all our actions,

353
00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:34,228
we must constantly ask
ourselves the question,

354
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:36,197
"What would Jesus do?"

355
00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:37,466
Can I say something?

356
00:14:37,469 --> 00:14:38,929
Would Jesus say it?

357
00:14:38,932 --> 00:14:40,801
Never mind.

358
00:14:42,639 --> 00:14:44,071
In my life,

359
00:14:44,073 --> 00:14:47,842
I've often been accused
of being a physical coward,

360
00:14:47,844 --> 00:14:51,096
and for the most part, those
accusations are correct.

361
00:14:52,882 --> 00:14:56,951
But there have been times
when I've shown great courage.

362
00:14:56,953 --> 00:15:00,021
This was one of them.

363
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:02,690
Hello, Bucky.

364
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:07,161
Are you a good dog?

365
00:15:09,411 --> 00:15:12,078
Please be a good dog.

366
00:15:12,081 --> 00:15:14,385
Please.

367
00:15:14,388 --> 00:15:17,437
Now oftentimes, when
we don't like someone,

368
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,774
what's happening is we
see something in them

369
00:15:19,776 --> 00:15:21,475
that we don't like in ourselves.

370
00:15:21,477 --> 00:15:22,943
What are you saying?

371
00:15:22,945 --> 00:15:25,146
Really? That was over your head?

372
00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:27,415
I'm saying,

373
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,684
y'all might have more
in common than you think.

374
00:15:29,686 --> 00:15:32,025
Well, don't say both
their kids are "special."

375
00:15:32,028 --> 00:15:34,439
She does not like that.

376
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,192
Okay.

377
00:15:38,194 --> 00:15:40,928
Here we go.

378
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:44,932
Petting... the dog.

379
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,317
I'm doing it.

380
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:05,920
I'm petting a dog.

381
00:16:05,922 --> 00:16:08,989
I've conquered my phobia.

382
00:16:08,991 --> 00:16:12,593
You're a good boy. Yes, you are.

383
00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:17,698
I'm sorry for the unkind
things I said to you.

384
00:16:19,381 --> 00:16:21,180
Me, too.

385
00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:23,637
Connie?

386
00:16:23,639 --> 00:16:25,406
What?

387
00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:27,508
Anything you'd like to say?

388
00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:30,244
Not particularly.

389
00:16:30,246 --> 00:16:31,946
Mom.

390
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,447
Okay.

391
00:16:35,104 --> 00:16:37,010
I'm sorry for the things I said,

392
00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:41,015
and, you know, what happened
at the bowling alley.

393
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,244
As am I.

394
00:16:46,162 --> 00:16:47,495
Here.

395
00:16:47,497 --> 00:16:49,643
I think this came out of your head.

396
00:16:53,468 --> 00:16:56,002
He licked me! He licked me!

397
00:16:56,005 --> 00:16:57,705
The dog licked my tongue!

398
00:16:57,707 --> 00:16:59,361
I can still taste it!

399
00:16:59,364 --> 00:17:02,809
Call 911!

400
00:17:02,812 --> 00:17:06,025
I think Jesus might go check that out.

401
00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:12,453
How's it going in there, baby?

402
00:17:12,455 --> 00:17:16,190
Okay, but we're gonna
need more Listerine.

403
00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:22,429
I'm proud of him for trying to
overcome that damn dog phobia.

404
00:17:22,431 --> 00:17:24,179
You should tell him that.

405
00:17:24,182 --> 00:17:26,674
Well, if he ever leaves
that bathroom, I will.

406
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:30,283
What I can't figure out is why
that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.

407
00:17:30,286 --> 00:17:31,772
Beats me.

408
00:17:31,774 --> 00:17:34,208
- You say his owner's in the slammer?
- Yeah.

409
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:36,283
Wonder what kind of fella he is.

410
00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:02,636
It's a mystery.

411
00:18:02,638 --> 00:18:04,494
I guess we'll never know.

412
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,726
Hey, Moonpie.

413
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:13,282
I got you a little something to help you

414
00:18:13,284 --> 00:18:15,631
get over your fear of animals.

415
00:18:15,634 --> 00:18:17,601
A tranquilizer gun?

416
00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,510
A pet fish.

417
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:24,159
_

418
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:25,561
Why?

419
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:28,952
Well, I thought you could start
small and then work your way up.

420
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:31,834
Look, he's kind of cute.

421
00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:36,654
He doesn't even care
that I'm here. I like him.

422
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,757
What are you gonna name him?

423
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,276
Fish.

424
00:18:40,278 --> 00:18:41,511
Fish?

425
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:43,564
I'm not ready to get attached.

426
00:18:45,446 --> 00:18:47,077
Fish are kind of boring.

427
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,085
I know, isn't it great?

428
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,780
But you can't even pet 'em.

429
00:18:50,783 --> 00:18:53,790
Maybe we can.

430
00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:56,459
Baby, what's wrong?

431
00:18:56,461 --> 00:19:00,280
I tried to pet Fish!
Ah, he was so slimy!

432
00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:02,436
Well, yeah, he's a fish.

433
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:05,935
I put my finger in the top of
the tank, then I touched him,

434
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,069
and he bit me!

435
00:19:07,071 --> 00:19:08,871
Oh, I'm sure he didn't bite you.

436
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,006
I can't breathe.

437
00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:13,743
His fish blood is mixing
with my human blood.

438
00:19:13,745 --> 00:19:16,338
Maybe he was just trying
to give you a kiss.

439
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,942
No. He hates me. I never
want to see him again.

440
00:19:18,945 --> 00:19:20,593
Oh, Sheldon, you're being silly.

441
00:19:20,596 --> 00:19:22,424
Fish like this don't bite.

442
00:19:23,521 --> 00:19:26,108
Look. See? He's harmless.

443
00:19:26,111 --> 00:19:27,890
Son of a bitch!

444
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:29,508
Dad killed my fish!

445
00:19:29,511 --> 00:19:30,577
George!

446
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,395
He'll be fine.

447
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:34,697
Just got to put him back in the bowl.

448
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,002
Oh, George.

449
00:19:45,546 --> 00:19:49,228
_

450
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:56,946
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